Original subtitles

[tires squealing]

- Take a right...

No, left!

Left!

[all screaming]

- Um, donnie, maybe you can tell me

Before we pass the street.

- I'm sorry, leo.

There's still so many mutagen canisters out there,

My tracker is having trouble zeroing in on a single reading.

Oh, turn right!

[all screaming]

- Whoa, I think I just got shell-lash!

- [screaming]

- Hey, mikey.

You want to stop reading your comics

And pay attention to the mission?

- [grunts]

- Hey!

That comic's in mint-- ah!

Near mint condition.

Don't mess it up.

- Great. Another horror story.

Guess who's gonna be up all night again?

- What?

No.

I was up all night 'cause I was...

Polishing my grappling hook!

- Right.

Seriously, mikey, what are those horror comics good for

Other than freaking you out and--

[beeping]

- Got one! Stop here!

[tires squealing]

[all grunt]

[door chimes]

My ooze specs are picking up a mutagen trail.

Come on!

[sirens blaring distantly]

- Remember, this might be another trap,

So we need to be careful.

[squishing]

- Eh-heh-heh.

- Some ninja.

- Guys, over here.

It's half empty, but one more mutagen canister recovered.

[man screaming]

- It wasn't me.

[man whimpering]

- [whimpering]

[squirrel chirping]

- Why's that dude afraid of a cute, tiny little squirrel?

[squirrel hisses]

All: [screaming]

- [screaming]

[gagging]

- Now can I scream in horror?

- ¶ teenage mutant ninja turtles ¶

¶ teenage mutant ninja turtles ¶

¶ teenage mutant ninja turtles ¶

¶ heroes in a half shell

¶ turtle power

¶ here we go, it's the lean green ninja team ¶

¶ on the scene cool teens doing ninja things ¶

¶ so extreme, out the sewer like laser beams ¶

¶ get rocked with the shell shock pizza kings ¶

¶ can't stop these radical dudes ¶

¶ the secret of the ooze made the chosen few ¶

¶ emerge from the shadows to make their move ¶

¶ the good guys win and the bad guys lose ¶

[tires squealing]

¶ leonardo's the leader in blue ¶

¶ does anything it takes to get his ninjas through ¶

¶ donatello is the fellow has a way with machines ¶

¶ raphael's got the most attitude on the team ¶

¶ michelangelo, he's one of a kind ¶

¶ and you know just where to find him when it's party time ¶

¶ master splinter taught them every single skill they need ¶

¶ to be one lean, mean, green, incredible team ¶

¶ teenage mutant ninja turtles ¶

¶ teenage mutant ninja turtles ¶

¶ teenage mutant ninja turtles ¶

¶ heroes in a half shell

- Dudes, this is a terrible idea.

This is exactly how the alien got onto the ship

In my comic book.

- Maybe mikey's right.

Both: What?

- I mean, the comic book thing is totally crazy,

But I can think of a million other reasons it's a bad idea

To take this guy back to the lair,

Starting with splinter.

- Raph, that squirrel was clearly a mutant creature,

Which means this is our fault.

- And our responsibility to fix it.

I'll deal with...

Master splinter,

Let me explain.

- Indeed.

Please explain the reason you have brought

A complete stranger into our secret, hidden lair.

- Oh, you'll laugh your whiskers off when you hear this one.

[all laughing nervously]

- It's pretty good.

[cane thumps]

- Careful with the specimen.

I want to run some tests on him.

Take it easy, boys.

Easy...

D'oh!

- [groaning]

- So...

Want to guess the first thing the crew did

When they brought the guy back on the spaceship

In my comic?

- Enough with the comic already!

You're makin' me loopy.

- Great.

Now it went from "near mint" to "totally messed up."

- Okay, we're cool,

But let's try to get this guy out of here

Before master splinter is done meditating.

Where are we at, donnie?

- Running an internal scan right now to see if...

Yep, still in there.

- Whoa.

- Wait.

Does it have two heads?

- All right, guys.

If you need me, I'll be beating leo's high score in pinball.

- Pink eye, red eye!

The ham went flying!

Woot-woot!

- I think that freaky squirrel made him a little nutty.

- Dudes, I got this.

I can totally translate crazy.

- Gimme a hootenanny...

He's saying, "the squirrel licked some ooze

"and transformed into a mutant.

"it's been chasing me for days now,

But I'm totally okay."

- If by "okay", you mean "totally insane."

- Well, at least no one will believe a crazy guy

If he talks about giant ninja turtles living in a sewer.

- [grunting]

[retches]

[all screaming]

[squirrels chirping]

- This-- this is unprecedented!

The squirrels replicate inside a host.

They divided like a single-celled organism.

- That's exactly what happened in my comic!

Well, not exactly.

They exploded out of the dude's butt.

- Agh! Leprechauns!

- I'll show our friend to the door!

[crashing]

[squirrels chirping]

- We need to catch them.

They're emitting dangerous amounts of energy.

- Move very slowly.

We don't want to startle 'em.

Steady...

Steady...

[squirrels hissing]

- Ahhhh!

Get 'em!

[clattering]

- Hey! Get back here!

[crashing]

- Hey! Whoa!

Watch my stuff!

- I got you, little freak!

- Well, our friend's gone,

But we still have plenty of crazy.

- There they go!

- [screams]

[all grunting]

- Quick! Help me seal off the lair.

We can't let 'em escape!

- Well, I don't exactly want 'em in here with us.

- Get back here, you little nut-lover!

[grunting]

[screams]

[squirrels chirping]

- Wah-ha!

Huh?

Yeh! Wah!

[squirrel hissing]

[screams]

- Huh?

[grunting]

Get off!

- Not my room!

- The dojo!

[squirrel chirping]

[squirrel chirping]

- [whispering] sensei's in a deep trance.

- Shh.

Full ninja mode.

[both grunt]

[squirrel chirping]

- Jeez, mikey.

When's the last time you cleaned?

And since when did you start wearing tighty-whities?

- That, my friend, is a story for another day.

Let's just focus on the squirrels, comprende?

Oh, sweet. Awesome idea.

I just impressed myself.

Here, squirrely, squirrely squirrel.

Come get it!

- [sniffs]

Here you go, squirrel.

[chomping]

Have a tiny bite.

[munching]

Where is that little sucker?

- Oh!

[squirrel screeching]

- What is going on in here?

I was in a deep meditative trance,

Trying to block out your constant noise, and...

Is that a chipmunk?

- Uh, it's, um, a squirrel, sensei.

A dangerous mutant squirrel

That reproduces inside stomachs.

- I should have been in a deeper trance.

You will be safe here for a short time,

My distant cousin,

Until we can find out more about you.

- This pizza is the best.

Ha!

Four-day-old pepperoni, jelly bean, and maple syrup.

Wait.

What were we supposed to be doing again?

[scuffling]

[squirrel chirping]

- The squirrel!

There you are!

[grunting]

- Raph!

That was my limited edition action-kick unicorn man!

- There's the little creepster!

[squirrel chirping]

- Huh?

[gagging]

- It's in my guts!

I can feel it in there, munching on that popcorn I ate!

It's freakin' me out, man!

- Okay, you got to stop with the this,

Because I can't hear what's going on inside your intestines.

- Oh, I'll tell you what's going on in there.

Let me see.

Oh, yeah.

Right now the mutant squirrel is probably secreting a mucus

Into your stomach lining so that when it multiplies--

- Ugh.

- Mikey, not helping.

Though probably 98% accurate.

- Get 'em out, get 'em out, get em out!

- Just as I thought.

We need to perform surgery, stat!

Nurse?

[saw buzzing]

- Let me out of here!

[laughter]

- Fooled you!

- Why you, you, you...

[grunting]

- Raph, are you...

- Bros, brace for grossness.

- [retches]

[squirrels screeching]

[machines whirring]

- Donnie!

Donnie!

Some sciencey stuff would be a big help right now.

[squirrels screeching]

- Glowing.

Glowing's bad.

Glowing is real bad.

- I see it's happening here as well.

- These things are putting out a crazy energy signature.

It's messing with my analyzer.

- We're doomed.

Doomed, I tell you!

[squirrel chirping]

[squirrel screeches]

- Split up and search each room.

- Split up?

Clearly you don't read comics either, sensei,

'cause splitting up is the--

- Silence.

You are trained warriors.

We will find these creatures.

Now.

- Split up to search in the dark for multiplying mutants.

Could we pick a more cliche way to get eaten?

- One of us could twist our ankle,

Or our t-phones could die or--

- Okay, move.

[machine whirring]

[both scream]

- What are you doing?

I told you I'd check the bedrooms!

- I thought you'd need back up.

[laughs weakly]

[distant hissing]

There was a sound just like that in my comic

When the baby aliens transformed into giant alienoids.

- Wait, you read it in a comic.

How can it sound the same?

Sweet mother of mutations.

- They've turned into...

Into...

Squirrelanoids!

[squirrelanoid screeches]

[michelangelo and raphael screaming]

- Oh, no.

Leo, they're here!

[whooshing]

[squirrelanoids screeching]

- Whoa!

- They're gonna brain-suck us!

- Gah!

[squirrelanoid screeches]

[all whimpering]

Thump!

[squirrelanoid screeching]

[splashing]

- The sewers lead to the surface!

If those things get out--

- Go then, quickly!

I will stay to defend the lair,

In case the beasts double back.

- Which means we have to go after them alone?

In the dark sewer?

Without you?

- Who among you wants to prove you are the bravest?

The strongest of will?

The worthiest of ninjas?

[robot whirring]

- Master splinter,

I'd say there's some kind of lesson here like,

I don't know, "brains over bravery" or something?

- I'd say the "something" part is most accurate.

- Uh, hmm... Hmm...

I'm not gonna say this happened in my comic,

But this happened in my comic.

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- What was that?

[whooshing]

- There's one.

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- [gasps]

Metalhead!

Clang!

- Page 33.

Oh, man!

- Don't worry, little pal.

I'll make you all better.

- I do not want to say I was right, but...

[machine whirring]

- [blows raspberry]

- Just throwing this out there.

What are we supposed to do

When we find these squirrelanoid monsters?

- Don't worry.

They'll find us.

- You always know just the right thing to say.

- I'm picking up strong readings from both tunnels!

- Then we split up.

- Again?

Didn't you guys get--

- But this time in teams, okay?

- It's still splitting up.

We're toast!

Game over, man!

Game over!

- This way, donnie.

- Sure, you take the guy with the tracking device.

- Come on, mikey.

- So, uh, how did they defeat the aliens in your comic book?

- Oh, so now you want to know.

Well, first the aliens picked off the crew in the dark,

One-by-one, sucking their faces off

Until there was only one remaining survivor.

- Sorry I asked.

[squirrelanoid chirping]

Wait.

Did you hear that?

[machine whirring]

- Yeah.

Yeah, I heard it.

Over there.

[distant clanging]

[machine beeping faster]

[squirrelanoid growling]

[squirrelanoid chirping]

- [sighs]

I don't see anything.

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- Ahhh! - Donnie!

- [screaming]

[squirrelanoid chirping]

- Heads or tails?

- Heads!

[squirrelanoid screeches]

- [grunting]

- Oh, no.

Donnie, move!

[squirrelanoid screeching]

Move!

[gasps]

- Aghhhh!

- Whoa!

[all grunt]

[all groaning]

[squirrelanoids screeching]

- They'll crack our shells like nuts.

- Then we might as well go down in a blaze of glory.

All: Hyaaaa!

[bow staff whirring]

[squirrelanoid screeching]

[steam hissing]

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- [grunting]

Zing! Zing!

- [grunts]

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- Hyah!

[squirrelanoid screeches]

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- D'oh!

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- All right, mikey, I'm in.

How does the sole survivor beat the aliens?

- It was so awesome.

He baited the alien into an air lock, and then he--

Ooh!

Hyah! Hoo!

- Did he just bail on us?

- I think he's got a plan.

[squirrelanoid screeches]

- Hyah!

[grunting]

[squirrelanoid screeching]

Smack!

Smack!

Sock!

Smack!

- [grunts]

[squirrelanoids screeching]

[sniffing]

- Yoo-hoo, glow heads!

[munching]

Mm...

Want some?

[squirrelanoids screeching]

- Mikey has a plan!

- [screaming]

[panting frantically]

[squirrelanoids screeching]

[chuckles nervously]

Uh, come and get it!

[squirrelanoid screeches]

[splashing]

[water whooshing]

[squirrelanoid screeching]

Booyakasha!

[tongue whipping]

Aaaah!

Aaah!

[splashing]

[grunting]

- I gotcha!

- We all do!

[squirrelanoid screeching]

- [grunts]

[splashing]

[squirrelanoid screeching]

[all sigh]

- Phew!

The septic tanks down below should hold those creeps.

- At least until I can figure out a retro-mutagen

To turn 'em back.

- I'm glad you didn't get flushed, little brother.

- You and me both, bro.

I hate to admit it,

But it looks like all of mikey's comic book reading paid off.

- And that was pretty clever to realize that squirrelanoids

Were attracted to the scent of food.

- Actually, that was pretty obvious.

I can't believe I didn't think of it.

- Not everyone can be the brains of the outfit.

[slurps]

- And have any of you considered,

What if one of those creatures manages to escape?

- No worries, sensei.

Those giant nut-loving freaks are gone for good.

- Um, actually a bunch of sequel comics came out.

The aliens come back.

- [whistling]

Hmm.

Popcorn.

[chomping]

Not bad.