All language subtitles for Squid.Game.S03E01.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta[EZTVx.to]-eng

Help me! Oh, my God! Alexandra...

Take me to the hospital.
It's coming!

Where's Adam?

Any minute now.

Excuse me.

He's not answering.
Time it! What?

Time it! Ah...!

"Bridal Chorus"

Have a look. How dilated am I?
Right. Um...

How dilated am I?!

Very. There's a bit of head,
I think.

Whatever it is,
it's got hair on it.

Call 999. We're not going
to make the hospital.

Mother of fuck!

♪ Ave Maria... ♪

No, of course I haven't got any
towels, I'm in a taxi. Gah...!

A taxi! Oh, the head's out.
I can see the head!

Ah! Oh, God, this is ghastly.

Oh, it's coming!
It's coming! It's COMING!

Nigel, I've got to go.

Right, then. Who giveth this woman
to be married to this man?

We've done that bit, Nigel.

♪ I couldn't hear nobody pray

♪ I couldn't hear nobody pray
All around

♪ I couldn't hear nobody pray
In the valley

♪ I couldn't hear nobody pray. ♪

Look.

It's quite nice, isn't it?

Shall we go to the swings now?
Shall we?

Yes, yes, come on.

"I VOW TO THEE MY COUNTRY"

Morning!

Ah... boo!

Ah... boo!

All right, Vicarage? How's tricks?

Bit bored.

Well, that's parenting for yer.

Do you want me
to push little Katie for a bit?

No, don't upset her, Colin.

Ah! Don't upset her!

What's that you're smoking?

It's an E-cigarette.
I've given up now I'm a parent.

Smoking Es, eh?

It's great, this playground, innit?

I love it.
Apart from all the dog shit.

And the gangs.

It's a disgrace. Everything's
broken, graffiti everywhere.

No wonder kids join gangs
if this is all we offer them.

As-salamu alaykum.
Wa-alaikum Salaam.

One of the local imams. Ah.

It's Yussef, isn't it?
My name's Father Adam.

We met last year at
one of those seminars

on environment and sustainability.

Yes, of course.
Very nice to see you again.

You're doing a bit of exercise,
putting us all to shame.

These sessions
are a present from my wife.

I have to burn off her flapjacks.

Ah. Maybe I should
hire your instructor, too?

Raahil will happily get
a Christian fit. Or a Jew.

But not a woman. He can't be trusted
with women in Lycra.

I'd forgotten about your
sense of humour, Yussef.

The Prophet Mohammed, peace be
upon him, says that humour is good

so long as it is used in moderation.

It should be used like salt
on a meal.

I'll tell my wife, Alex.
She can hire your fitness guy,

as long as she wears
a burka during her work-out.

See, that is too much humour now.

For a Muslim, that's not acceptable.

Right.

I'm joking!

Oh! I thought you'd reached
your humour limit.

I have now.

Isn't this playground
terrible, Father? I know.

Perhaps we should do some
fundraising to restore it?

We could put both our names over it.

I can barely raise enough money for
my church, let alone a playground.

Couldn't one of your three gods
do something about it?

I've always found that
man a bit smug.

Do your own flipping playground.

You'd be smug, too, though, if you
got to shag four wives at once.

Colin...

Yes, you did a big explosive poo,
didn't you?

Oh, please, God, not another one.

Looks OK.

The council have written again,

requesting proof and assurance

that we've rectified
the dangerous wiring.

I hate it when the council
treat us like a business.

If they give us
the 15 grand, I'll do it.

That'd be all our church funds.

They've said they'll prosecute.

No. These things
are machine generated.

Her poos have changed colour again.

Perhaps Satan is in charge
of her bottom

because you haven't baptised
her yet.

She did seem possessed at 3am
this morning.

Hello, Archdeacon. Are you well?
You look well.

Looks bad. Priest hasn't yet
baptised his own child. Why not?

Don't worry, it's not a crisis
of faith, just bad organisation.

What a relief. Get on with it.

And hurry up with those nappies.

They're outside in a taxi.
Who are?

Jill, the Area Dean, and Geri,
the Diocesan Secretary.

Well, you can tell Tom and Geri
I'll be down in minute.

Don't be naughty, Adam.

Would you like a cup of tea,
Archdeacon? Oh...

I'm having one. No.

Don't use that plug, Nigel.
Use the other one.

I see you haven't
done your re-wiring, then.

No, but don't worry. It's not...

Dangerous?

Hello. Can I bring Katie with me?

Oh, a baby. How adorable.

What a heavenly child.
I love children.

No, this is a private meeting
if that's OK, Robert.

Can you get the tube?

Why haven't you baptised her yet?

I'm going to, when I get a minute.

Isn't she adorable? May I touch her?

Adorable. Heavenly child.

So nice to meet you.

I've been looking forward to
talking to you about your parish.

Jill has some exciting plans.

Yes, and I'd like to get you
involved in my plans for the area.

OK. It's such a challenging
area, isn't it? Mm.

Predominantly Muslim, ageing
and falling Christian congregations.

A very difficult area. Yes.

But it's my job
as the new Area Dean to ask,

what is the best way
to be Church here?

Yes, how shall we be Church here?

I'd like to do some
pastoral reorganisation.

That's why she got the job. Right.

Yes. But some of my exciting new
plans will cost money.

The reality is that neither
the deanery nor the diocese

can continue to prop up expensive
churches that are no longer viable.

Are you suggesting that my church
might no longer be viable?

No, we're not suggesting
that at all. No, not at all.

St Saviour's is a vital
part of the community. Is it? Yes.

And it's very active in a presence
and engagement kind of way.

Oh, well, that's wonderful.
How is it present and engaged?

Yes, how so? Give us some examples.

I'd love to hear some examples.
There's lots of examples.

I can't wait to hear them.

Any example will do.

Sure, well, just today,

when I was chatting
to the local imam,

I suggested that we team up to
repair the local playground,

which serves the whole community,
and he absolutely agreed with me.

What's the budget for that project
and what's the timetable on it?

The fundraising shouldn't take
more than a few more weeks,

with the help of my Muslim
counterpart. Then it's straight
into doing the job.

You've started fundraising?
No, we have, yeah.

Can't wait to see it. If this
is the sort of thing

you're achieving,
then wow, well done!

Yes, wow, well done.

We'd have to consider closing
a different church instead.

Mm. Told you he'd be clever.

Can she touch the child again?

This is Mama Doha's avocado,
beetroot and plantain puree.

Very good for fibre and iron.

And these are my special
Katie oatmeal and rice cakes.

Thanks so much, Adoha.
Will they be back soon?

No, don't wait.

Hiya. Think I trod in dog poo.

Ah, there's my darling.
Can I hold her?

Please, let me hold her.

I'll take her.

When are you going to have
a baptism?

It's been nearly one year.

It's not fair on poor little Katie.

You want a baptism, don't you?

We're doing it soon,
all right, Adoha?

Yeah, that is dog poo.

If you could ask him
to call Father Adam at St Saviour's,

I'd be very grateful. It's urgent.
OK, thanks, bye.

Why is it so hard to get hold of an
imam? What do they do?

Alex, what's the matter?

I've got good news. I got the job.

You're looking at the new
Head of Legal Aid at Kanters.

Oh, you're so clever! That's great.
Yes. What?

It's a disaster.
When am I ever going to see Katie?

I'll always be out. No, no.

Those big firms are so competitive.

They never let you leave.

No. We'll make it work, Alex.

I'm a horrible person.

No...

I'll get rid of them.
We should open a bottle.

If you were in the Church,
you'd be a female bishop. Ooh.

All right, Vicar?
See, what it is, yeah...

No, it isn't. I'm not giving
you anything today, Mick.

Wait till you see what I got.

What about this lovely little
dolly for your new boy?

Ah, isn't she a cutie?

Yes, she's lovely.

Or I could babysit?

I only charge like 5, 8, 30,
£50 an hour.

I'm Mary Poppins.

Bedknobs And Broomsticks.

Nanny McNanny.

Mick, I'm demonstrating my love
for you by withholding my money.

You go out to dinner, sweetie,
with your lady friend.

Do wine, dine and romance tings

and leave the boy with me. The girl.

And when you come home, ta-da!
She's still alive.

Well, it's certainly
a tempting offer.

Next time we make plans, Alexandra
and I will give your agency a call.

OK, bye.

'Bloody hell, there's a
lot of people.

'Lord, it's difficult to be a
Christian today, isn't it?

'In Syria, for instance.

'Iraq. Certainly in Egypt.

'But also sometimes here in Hackney.

'Why is Islam so much more popular?

'Is it because of all its rules
for life? People like rules.

'Maybe if Christianity had
rules like Islam,

'my church would be full, too.

'Hope this goes OK.

'Oh, I've got a bloody hole
in my sock.'

Father Adam is here.

As-salamu alaykum.

Wa-alaikum Salaam.

What can I do for you? Yussef.

The other day, you suggested that we
team up to restore the playground,

and afterwards
I was having a think about it

on the way home, and it occurred
to me what a great idea it is.

What made you change your mind?

Not change my mind.

I was just slow to realise
what a great idea it is

because, you know,
children are the future.

Yes. Who said that?

Did you say it?

Someone black, famous and profound.

Nelson Mandela?

It was Whitney Houston.

Well, Nelson and Whitney,
often confused with one other.

Is that too much humour again?

The point is we all want our children
to have somewhere safe and inspiring

to play, so I was thinking you're
right, we should do it together,

for the community.

We'd all look good.

I think it's a great idea.

Well, it was your idea.

Us teaming up.

We could put the name of your mosque
and my church over it.

That was my idea, too. Yes, great.

Some of the uncles
will complain, yes?

"Why are you teaming up with
a Christian? Is it Islamic?"

But I will tell them I will create
peace and harmony for everyone.

Now, Brother Ikhbal makes
a delicious cup of PG Tips.

Can I interest you in one?
You certainly can.

Brother Ikhbal. The PG. Please.

Hey, Aziz, bro. How's life?

I'm told we need £10,000 for a
redesign of the playground.

Shall we try and raise £5,000 each,
make it a competition?

Yes, great. That's a fun idea.

How long do you think
that would take you?

Well, if I ask all my congregation
to put £5 in,

I could probably
raise £5,000 on Friday.

Right. Of course, your congregation
is 1,000 people, isn't it?

And Muslims are very generous.

More generous than
Christians, you think?

No. It's because, for a Muslim,
giving is an obligation.

Most of them complain about it,

but they know that if they give
money they'll be rewarded in Heaven.

It's one of the Five Pillars.

Hey, Suliman. Wa-alaikum Salaam.
Tell your brother

that when he's ready to give his
zakat, I'm here for him, OK?

Dennis, hi!

Maybe we could do
an event to fundraise?

If you need help.

OK, all right, great.
Let's make it a multi-faith event.

I could do one of my jihadi
barbecues?

Don't worry,
I don't mean holy war barbecue.

I mean jihad as in
"Striving to do good".

Lots of people will come. There can
be food and games for the kids.

Yeah, like a fete?

A jihadi fete. These events always
raise lots of money.

Great.
How about we do it in my church?

Why not? I love your churches.

There is always so much space.

Ssh. Oh, dear. What's the matter?

I'm not taking her to A&E again

just to be told it's trapped wind.

Please can we fix her christening,

if for no other reason than
to shut everyone up.

Maybe I don't want to
christen her yet?

I've already lost you to Him.

Why would I want to lose
her as well?

I know everyone's annoying about it,

but your annoyance with them
is undermining me.

And we both want to baptise her,
so why don't we just do it?

OK. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to
make your life difficult.

OK, let's christen her.
I want to do it.

Thank you. Thank you, Alex.

I was thinking maybe
we should ask Ellie to be a god mum?

Oh, really? OK,
not your friend Karen?

Karen said she didn't want to
renounce the devil. What?

I know. And, if we get
killed in a diving accident

when you take me to the Maldives,

I wouldn't mind Ellie
bringing her up.

She'd turn out a proper girl.

Academic high flyer, good at gym.

All right, let's get her
over for dinner and ask her.

But that would also mean asking
Chris as well, wouldn't it?

He's all right.

Oh, she's done another poo.

I've got to get up in two
and a half hours.

How long can we leave her in it?

'Also, he who had the two talents
made two talents more.

'But he who had received the one
talent went and dug in the ground,

'and hid his master's money.'

This is the Gospel of the Lord.

Praise to you, O, Christ.

So, inspired by that
Parable of the Talents,

I'm going to do something
unusual now,

and give you all £10
from church funds.

I want you all to invest it.

Try and be like the
good and faithful servant

who put his money
to work straightaway.

Don't bury it in the ground.

Or spend it on lager, Colin, like
the wicked and slothful servant.

Let's see what you can all raise
form this seed capital,

and I'll collect back any profits
in a few weeks.

We reap what we sow.

You never cease to surprise.

All the money you create will go
to our Honeycombe playground fund.

Let's see if we can raise more
than our Muslim friends.

We must beat the infidels!

And I have one other
announcement to make,

which is that in two weeks' time

Alex and I will baptise
our daughter Katie here

at the mid-morning Eucharist
on Sunday 6th,

and you are of course all invited.

Finally!

So, now we're going to sing
hymn number 565,

Praise My Soul The King Of Heaven.

Hi, Ellie, thanks for coming.
No Chris?

I should've known the minute he said
he didn't want an expensive wedding.

Massive sign there.
Why didn't I see it?

I used to find it sweet that
when he reads, his mouth moves.

But now every time he does it I
just want to punch him in the face.

And what kind of a person has
tomato ketchup on everything?

Yeah, no, awful person.

I make spaghetti bolognese.
It's got tomatoes in it, hasn't it?

It doesn't need any more
fucking tomatoes. No.

Why did I marry him?
Why did you let me marry him?

I turned 39, someone comes into my
room at night and just removes

my brain. That's why. I don't care
if he's shagging other women

on his work trips. Let him.
Cos I'm not going to touch him.

And I would love to be
Katie's godmother,

because I'm not having children
with that arsehole. That's great.

Hello, Adoha. They look lovely.

This one is especially for you.

Thank you.

Hello, Archdeacon.

I must say this all looks
very good, Adam.

This church is flourishing.

You should tell Torvill and Dean
when you see them.

You should tell them yourself.
They're on their way.

I have to go at five. Rageh Omaar
is giving a talk on Djibouti pirates

at the book shop
in Chipping Norton.

I've got some money for you

from that St Saviour's
tenner you gave us.

Oh. What did you do with it?

Richard has a half bar invested in
a Geneva-based emerging markets

hedge fund, so I popped
the tenner into that.

So it was leveraged up. Right.

The fund has had a stunning month.

It's returned 9% in just one month.

It's absolutely unheard of. Wow.

So I redeemed my investment
capital plus profit...

£10.90. Oh, right.

Of course, the fund charges
a 20% fee on any profits,

so that's 18p to them.

Plus VAT of 20% on their 20%.

So that is a grand total of £10.68.

68p?

Towards the playground.
I hope it helps.

I wouldn't trust Terry
and June if I were you.

Whatever they say, they're not going
to fund your shortfalls any more.

Hello, Dennis. Hello, Vicar.

Brother! Hi, Yussef.

This all looks good in here.
Doesn't it?

I have great news. I managed
to raise £12,000 on Friday.

We have our total.
We can announce the project today.

Yussef, that's amazing.
How much have you raised?

I've just had a donation, actually.

That's super. So, in total?

I'm still adding it up.

I meant to ask, Adam.

Who are all those important
people over there?

That's my archdeacon, the new Area
Dean and the Diocesan Secretary.

We like a hierarchy
in the Church of England.

How does it work?

It doesn't really work.

At the top there's the archbishops,
two of them,

then there's the bishops.

Then there are some chancellors
and diocesan secretaries.

She's one of them, the tall woman.
It's a senior lay position.

Then there are the cathedral deans,
who run the cathedrals.

Canons, or prebendaries, are senior
priests within the cathedrals.

Then there are the archdeacons.
He's mine. He runs several deaneries

within each archdeaconry.
Then there are the area deans.

She's one. Finally there are the
priests, called vicars

or sometimes rectors, depending
on how their tithes were paid.

But that's a side issue, really.

Hm. But they're all
equal in the eyes of God?

Oh, no. God much prefers the bishops.

That's why he makes sure
they all have such a nice big house.

That is too much humour, Adam.

Good afternoon.
How lovely to see you all.

This all looks good, doesn't it?

Yes, wonderful, Adam. Clever you.

Isn't he present and engaged?

This church is flourishing.

Hm, isn't it?
What's that man over there doing?

That's Nigel. Putting up a "Pin the
tail on Jesus's Palm Sunday donkey."

Oh, what fun.

Let me introduce you to my imam
friend, Yussef.

This is Jill and Geri and Robert.

As-salamu alaykum.
Wa-alaikum Salaam. Afternoon.

It has been a great honour
to get to know your fine priest.

Do you mean him?

I'm pleased to say that we have
already raised all the money

necessary to restore
the community playground.

We have over £12,000.

Wow. That's wonderful.

Clever you. Congratulations.

How much of the money
did Adam raise?

I don't know. I don't keep
score like it's football.

It's a joint effort. I could not
have done it without him.

Yussef!

Oh. Excuse me a moment.

I love your bouncy castle.

Would you like a bounce?
Well, yes, I... No.

No. I might, later.

Perhaps you could dress
up as a crusader, Robert,

and attack any
Muslims on the castle.

Actually, Yussef,
don't use that plug.

Wow.

That'll be the wiring
that isn't dangerous.

I've got summat for Katie.
A present.

That's nice of you.
It's not her birthday.

I know. Have a look.
Hope she likes it.

Lovely. That's... She'll love them.

Magic.

Can I be her godfather?

Colin, I've already got two
godfathers - Steven and Jeremy,

my oldest friends.

Have me as a third one.

I bet I love her more than they do.

Well, it's not a competition.

I'll always remember her birthday.

I'll take her ice-skating
when she's old enough,

and I'll make sure
no-one shags till she's 16.

I swear, if I see any
bloke touch her,

I'll kick seven different
types of shit out of them.

I'll make it so no-one will ever
dare go near her.

I'd do that for her.

Well, it's a lovely offer,
Colin, but...

Let me think about it.

Great. So I'm in the running then?

Oh, and I've got some dosh for you.

That tenner you give me -
I turned it into 350.

There you go.

350? How did you do that?

I bought a tenner's worth of crack,
cut it with detergent

and sold it to some
kids on the estate.

That made me 50.
Then I did it again, and then again.

I actually made £500 but I kept
some as my cut if that's all right?

So this is drugs money?

Nah, not really. There was
hardly any crack in what I sold.

It's more detergent money.

When will you decide
if I can be Katie's godfather?

There you are, darling. I've been
looking for you everywhere.

I have a present for little Katie.

No, you can't be a godparent.

All the places are full,
and I'm first on the waiting list.

Is it very painful? No.

I'm so sorry, Yussef. I should have
warned you about the electrics.

It was a bad day for everyone.

I've had to close the church
till I do the rewiring,

and I've had to cancel
my daughter's christening.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I've brought round the money
I raised for the playground.

And the grand total is?

£350.68, I'm afraid.

Sorry.

Well done. It all counts.

Really?

Just because you electrocuted me
doesn't mean we can't be friends.

It's still our project

for Christian and Muslim children.

We should do it together.

You're a good man, Yussef.

Just one question.

What does the Prophet Mohammed...
Peace be upon him.

Peace be upon him, have to
say about the use of

drug money for charitable causes?