Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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Anna, let's go, please.

There's nothing there.

Come! We'll get soaked to the bone!

Foul! That's a foul!

Penalty!

Quiet, please!

You know what's at stake in this penalty shot.

We're going to the European Championships!

I asked you nicely, right?

We still have to find out who'll represent Hungary

in the Sectorball European Championships.

Only the player designated to kick the penalty may stay at the table.

Watch that!

Time out!

REBOUND

I don't like coming out to the countryside.

It always smells like manure here.

It's always nice if you can shit bricks in peace as no one here will notice.

But I can smell it.

You're shitting bricks.

You're scared, Kálmi,

that you're gonna lose again.

I wouldn't mind that chick on my team, you know what I mean.

What's that you said?

She's good with the flick stick, that's something.

Watch your mouth, Csiger!

Please carry on, I have plenty of time.

Kálmán. Pardon me…

I don't mean to…

I know this is the worst possible time,

but I've called you many times, and I left messages, I think…

But not only me, those who know that I've been looking for you, think so too.

-What? -Well, the rental contract…

-Not now, Kocsányi. -"Not now… not now…"

Ready?

Yes.

I'm sorry…

Goal!

What a goal, Atti!

Kálmán…

The Euros! The Euros!

Kálmán.

Kálmán! You don't have a valid contract.

What?

You haven't paid in six months, I had to cancel it.

-You have no official seat for your team. -What seat?

According to the rules of the Hungarian Sectorball Association,

one condition for a valid license is a registered headquarters.

Without a valid license, I must dismiss the team.

Three-nil for Kisbuda Meat SA!

What's this nonsense, Toni?

I'm really sorry, Kálmán. But I've told you… so many times.

I respect sports, but money is important, too, right?

Especially the financial aspect of it.

Attention! The right to participate in the European Championships

goes to Kisbuda Meat Sports Association.

If you are able to acquire a valid seat within two weeks,

you are entitled to a rematch.

-Kálmán… -Let's drink to that!

You hear that?

We may have a rematch, guys!

Warsaw!

-It's repeatable! -Kálmán…

The secondhand clothes dealers are coming tomorrow.

We need to clean up in here.

So, could you take out this…

What should I call it? Well, get this shit out of here.

Come on, let's pack up!

I won't pack for these morons.

You're not doing it for them, you're helping us.

-Kocsonya should do the packing! -Antal Kocsányi, right?

Attila, you never help with the packing! Not even when we win!

The pony's ass!

Now really!

Only call me when there's a reason.

-Atti… -Kálmán, I would really like to help,

but my waist, you know.

We have to be very careful with it. Well, because of Warsaw, you know.

-Can we go? -Let's go!

Come on, guys.

Piece of cake.

Stop, Tootsie!

Bad dog, Tootsie!

We've agreed that you won't pee on ugly cars.

So then…

Two weeks!

The situation isn't too bad.

We just need to find an HQ for us.

My apartment, for example. We'll register my apartment. Done!

Your apartment? It can't fit five people, let alone thirty.

Have you ever seen 30 people at our matches?

Here are the conditions for a valid headquarters.

-Oh, stop it! -Sectorball Rules, Paragraph 12…

It says here… "Occupancy for at least 30 people,

separate men's and women's restrooms, emergency exit," Kálmán!

Emergency exit?

I smell manure.

Well then, let's load our stuff.

No need to panic!

We'll get a place that complies with all the stupid rules.

We'll register it, replay the match with Csiger,

and then fly off to Warsaw!

Goddamned pony's ass!

Careful, Szili!

What are we going to train on for Warsaw?

Stop bullshitting, Kálmán. What Warsaw?

When I don't even have enough for gas to drive this piece of shit home.

Sorry, I didn't mean it. I'm mad at Kálmán, not you.

There's no Euros, no Warsaw, we don't have a place to train at.

Not even Attila is here to help with this…

-Come on, lift it a bit! -Have a little more faith in me, guys.

Listen, just chill! I've got it all under control.

-Oh, that goddamned pony's ass! -Kálmán…

-Seriously? -Okay, I'm fed up.

It's only money.

It comes and goes.

I just have to reach out and grab the cash.

We'll have the money by Saturday.

Tell Atti too! We'll have the money by Saturday!

Wh… What's your problem with po… ponies?

Nothing is hap… happening.

Well, Rome wasn't built in a day either.

I can't concentrate.

Couldn't that blasted Kocsányi have come a day later?

But really…

Replacing Sectorball with secondhand clothes…

What mother gave birth to this wretch?

I have to go.

Go then.

Go if you want.

I'm gonna practice.

Have you seen my pa… pa… panties?

-So… So it's over then? -Not at all! We're just starting!

Tomorrow, first thing, I'm going to see the mayor.

If he doesn't help… he will of course, but if he doesn't,

then I'm headed over to Agárdi, that ol' slugger.

My pal from college.

Maybe it's not even ba… bad that it turned out this way.

-What are you talking about? -The tea… tea… tea…

We've been through this a hundred times.

The team can't find out about our relationship.

No, but the tea… tea… tea…

I've got it all under control. Just trust me.

Okay? So then…

Here's your…

-What the hell? Are you blind? -Ah, s… sss… sss…

I'm here!

Sorry, I'm so late. It got really busy at work.

But it was worth it.

It is worth the great effort.

I keep telling you.

Maybe I'll get promoted

to second-tier financial assistant.

Huh?

And if that happens, it means food vouchers doubled!

I did my research, I can get bus tickets for them, too.

We could get to the Szilas beach for free if we want.

I'll take you with me, if you behave.

They disqualified us, even though we won.

Are you even listening to me?

What? Yeah…

That last goal. That last goal was…

I didn't even tremble.

-Sorry, what were you saying? -Never mind.

-Button football is more important. -It's called Sectorball!

I just told you, we won, and they still disqualified us.

-And you're off talking nonsense. -Well, excuse me.

I'm sorry, I'm boring you.

It's only my salary that pays for your food and bills, after all.

Which reminds me…

Any ideas where we could find a new headquarters?

-We need at least two loos. -What two loos are you talking about?

-Come to your senses already! -Huh?

Try and forget button football for a second

when I'm talking to you about important things.

This is that important thing?

It is not important, Oszi.

-It's pathetic. -Pathetic…

You know what's pathetic? You and your stupid friends.

Adults playing a children's game.

-That's what's pathetic. -What do you know?

Those guys climbed out of a hole so deep,

you can't even see the bottom.

Climbed out? Climbed where?

Kálmán yanked them out of the shithole.

By button football!

-What heights of glory! Congrats. -You don't even know them.

Bravo!

You know, what bothers me most is not that Mom left…

but that she didn't take me with her.

Your blood pressure is fine after all.

Just one more?

You're going to get a heart attack.

Listen, all that matters is that I can play in two weeks.

Please. Just a last one.

At your own risk.

I adore you.

Sectorball is part of our Hungarian heritage.

It's like hockey in Canada,

the samba in Brazil, and cocaine in Columbia…

Okay, maybe that's not the best example.

But the point is that if you help now, this whole town will be proud.

Proud of you!

For you gave a new home

to the Sectorball virtuosos and their magic fingers…

I've never asked you a favor before, old boy.

Okay, I asked for this coffee. Thank you.

This is small change for your big-time company,

but it would be like nirvana for this unique sport.

Because Sectorball is…

…the foie gras of tabletop sports…

The Carrara marble of indoor sports.

The cathedral of team sports.

The free medical care of tactical games…

Goddamn you annoying little…

So where will we have the new home turf?

It's…

It's in progress.

Lots of people want to help us…

later on.

No one said it explicitly

that it was completely sure that they wouldn't give us money.

I'm not saying we're swimming in offers,

because we're not.

But I'm not saying either… that there's nothing.

So, there's nothing?

Nothing.

Or rather…

Or rather!

I bought a sports lottery ticket.

First match, Békéscsaba against Paks.

My guess is…

that the away team will win. What do you think?

Okay,

let's bet on a tie then.

I knew this was coming.

I knew… Here…

I took them off the Wall of Fame…

Here they are.

This one… and this one too…

Here, take them home as mementos.

Sorry, that's my brother's chef certificate.

But the rest can be taken.

Take them as mementos. The end of R.S.C.

Szili, listen! What do I always tell you, guys?

"There's no end, only a new beginning."

Goddamned po… po…

pony's ass!

Guys, if you don't order anything, you need to leave.

What's the problem?

There's nobody here except us.

Okay, Rip van Winkle over there, who's been asleep for about 200 years.

Are you serious?

Hey, listen. What if this was our headquarters?

It would even liven the place up.

How many people were at your last game?

All right. Will you pay together or separately?

Pay for the tap water?

Separately.

Oszi, listen, can I pass on the Nummi-Pusula portfolio to you?

You know, that half-Finnish guy.

Nothing's wrong, I just don't like the cold.

You have to travel there?

No, but every time I think about how he's Finnish, I feel cold.

I start shivering.

A bunch of people wrapped in furs,

seals hanging out on slabs of ice.

It's totally nuts.

Sure, gladly!

Hello, ladies, do you have the Nummi-Pusula portfolio?

-Yeah, Oszi has it. -And he's not done with it yet?

I don't know if suggesting that promotion was a good idea.

Don't get your panties in a bunch, baby, I'm just kidding.

Anyway.

The guy's Hungarian is pretty bad.

I ran it through a translation program and it still doesn't make any sense.

So, decode it by tomorrow.

If you're waiting for a pat on the back, you'll have a long night, baby,

because I've never ever patted anyone on the back.

-Thanks, Norbi, I'll get right to it. -You're welcome.

But first clean up your desk. You can't work in such a mess.

You're right, Norbi.

That's one hard man.

REMETEHÁZI SECTORBALL CLUB LEDGER, FINAL, TSC.

A transfer from Brazil?

What is your connection to Brazil?

NEUROLOGICAL REPORT

I understand it's Parkinson's, but how bad is it?

I'm bound by doctor-patient confidentiality.

Yes, but I have the report, so we could make an exception.

How do you have your father's medical report?

I found it under a pair of women's panties.

What does it matter?

Just tell me how severe it is. What should I expect?

Take care of your father.

-Fuck! -Sorry.

Optometry is on the second floor.

This will help.

I've got half my lungs rotten too,

but I make sure to get my two packs a day.

What?

Keep your lungs in shape, otherwise they get lazy and decay.

Go on! Take one!

Smoke it fast before the alarm goes off.

-Three-hundred forints. -What?

Want me to tell the doc

that you're puffing away with one lung in the hospital corridor?

Will that make him happy?

No.

Wait here.

Urology is on the third floor.

Weren't you the director of The Blue Prince Acting School

about 30 years ago?

Well, drama pedagogy was everything to me.

Did you take those classes?

Sorry, gotta bounce.

Jump in tomorrow. Ask for Shark.

This street is too small for the two of us.

S… S… So-so-so…

D… Damn this stuttering! I hate this fucking piece of shit!

That came out pretty well though.

Coming!

-Hello? -This is Oszkár Boglár.

I hope this isn't a bad time.

I'm inquiring about a money transfer.

Oh, you got it!

I thought it would be a big surprise.

Well, very big… but why?

The team of my youth!

It was at that club that they taught me the humility and passion

which became the source of all my success later in life.

What club? If you don't mind me asking.

What do you mean, what club?

The Remeteházi Sports Club, of course.

The R.S.C.

I still remember, there was this one moment,

I was about to kick a penalty

and I really felt a connection

between my teammates and the fans and me.

It was…

It was like that line from the poem…

"There is a…"

Yes, that's it!

"There is a golden chain that stretches across the land,

connecting all good."

I want others to have that moment on the field, too.

I don't know if I can travel and meet you, personally.

My health… well…

I'm not playing with the juniors anymore.

Yes, I guessed that but unfortunately something happened…

We deeply thank you for your generosity!

I can assure you that the R.S.C. will shine bright again.

Excuse me, I have to go now.

-Those aren't the food vouchers, right? -I want you to be happy.

-And if that means button football-- -Sectorball!

If that means Sectorball, then so be it.

I worked really hard

and found a patron.

A good man who trusts the team. Trusts you.

And he wants you to be European Champions.

Come here!

-How much is this? -That's just part of it.

The complete sum is a hundred million.

One thing!

Don't say a word to the team!

A hundred million!

Another round of double whiskey for the team!

Okay, but get your ass down from there right now.

Oh, okay. Sorry.

What?

One night won't hurt. What's a couple of ten thousands?

This tap water is not bad, by the way.

Hi!

Sorry, this is totally embarrassing, but haven't we met somewhere before?

-I'm Barbi, and… -I'm Szili. We play buttons together.

-Buttons? -Some people don't know,

but it's actually called Sectorball. Atti's a real star.

-Szili, I think you should… -He's at the 16-meter line in two moves.

You should see him. Nobody flicks like he does.

Flick-flick, you can't do a thing to stop him.

I see… Okay…

Sorry, I just realized that I have a headache…

See ya!

Will you pay hers too?

For sure!

You cockblock!

That was golden pussy right there.

Her engine was purring.

Can't you keep your mouth shut?

Guys! A new era begins here tonight.

A new era in your lives,

in the life of R.S.C., and in the entire Sectorball scene.

Hell yeah!

Because tonight, here and now, we're making sports fucking history!

Hooray!

We're gonna whip the whole world's ass.

-Goddammit! -Right on!

Okay, listen. This money--

Something's fishy here, Kálmán. We can't possibly be this lucky.

-Why not? -Why would it be fishy?

Era! Where were you? We've been waiting.

-The tea-tea-tea… -Cheers!

-Is it…? -It's true!

Every word of it, Erika!

This my son, Oszi.

Yeah… He was 14 when he did that…

Yes, the Joulupukki twist!

But since then…

anyway, you can see…

Bravo.

Guys, we need a couple of those new laser sector-measuring devices.

I didn't even know K… Kálmán had a son.

Let alone a button player.

No. I'm not a button player.

I only help out. I'm a completely normal person.

You play buttons, right?

I mean, it's a super hobby,

if it's just a hobby, not like for my father, who…

Of course, there's no money in it.

I mean, right now that's not exactly true, but…

K… Kálmán texted that it was some pa… patron.

That's right, a patron. When can we meet him?

Nah, he doesn't have time for stuff like this.

Too bad. But we've gotta look the part.

We need team track suits.

Look at these rags! Is this what champions look like?

Okay. Let's stop for a minute here.

It seems like a lot of money, but not if we spend it on stupid things.

We have to plan our expenses very carefully.

We'll only get what's absolutely necessary.

R.S.C.

They've got a place.

Hey, Zulu! How much do you know about dogs?

I know I can fully gut a large one in eight minutes.

Could somebody tell me what these are?

Invoices. So you can file them, or whatever it is you do.

So, you set the radian…

Double-lined Armani gloves embroidered with the R.S.C. logo?

They're for Warsaw, if we go… in winter.

Baseball cap with battery-powered fan,

uniquely tailored, with "Atti" stenciled on it?

For Warsaw, if we go…

in summer.

Will you choose which lobster you prefer?

Which lobster?

Do you realize you've already blown a quarter of our money?

For this…

bullshit!

-We still have no headquarters. -We do.

-Do we? -Yes.

I looked over the competition rules,

and since there are two loos here, we jumped right in.

Not in the loo, but you know what I mean.

Yep.

You've rented the presidential suite.

-What's left of our money? -Executive…

What?

Two mistakes, not the presidential, but the executive suite,

and it's not ours, it's the team's money,

which you are not a part of, to my knowledge.

-Am I not in the team? -No.

Who got the money?

Who can you thank for the lobster you're casting now?

Chillax, Oszi.

Oskar, you do have to calm down a bit.

Don't act like it's your money. You're just a postman in this story, son.

-A postman? -Exactly. A postman.

Between the moneyman and the team.

And now, if you don't mind,

I'd like to break in my new sector-measuring device.

A postman? The team would have split up long ago if it wasn't for me!

Why does it hurt you that we finally don't have to train in a dirty basement?

That we have a proper game table

and Szili doesn't have to cobble one together.

That we can finally focus only on the game!

We have less than two weeks until the game against Csiger,

and you're giving us a hard time!

I beg your pardon, is this the one you choose?

The postman will be leaving now.

And he will tell the moneyman where exactly his money is going.

Go ahead! Or even better if you ask him to come here,

so he can see the champions training.

R.S.C.!

HOTEL NEW MOON

What are you daydreaming about again?

You think, I shit hamburger patties so that you can burn them all?

-Go, take out the garbage! -Okay, I… I'm going.

What the horse's prick are you doing?

How are you holding that bag? It'll rip!

It's not enough that you're a girl, you're the lamest of them all!

I… I… I'm trying my best.

Come on over here, bub. Where do you think you're going?

-I'm fine. -I'll tell you if you're fine, okay?

Oh… I almost fell but I was lucky.

We should drink something for the fright!

What do you think?

I know a moody little pub, not far from the rehab clinic.

It's really close.

Not something we covered in drama class, huh?

-The Patron. You're gonna be the patron! -Me?

-I am skint. -But I do.

I have a fat budget to get you back into acting.

A fat budget?

-I'm all ears. -You know what button football is?

You'll have to play a man who funds a button football team.

Is this some kind of absurd drama?

You'll convince the team that I'm the boss,

who tells them how to spend your money.

I'll put three months' salary in your pocket if you take it.

A great role. I like it.

…the whole wardrobe is full.

Ah, the little miss is late.

I'm sorry, I had to take a crab down to the river.

Never mind…

It's the Nummi-Pusula case.

This isn't going to end well.

It turned out that the Finn had used the company's assets fraudulently.

Company car, plane tickets, and so on…

It all stinks to high hell.

The only thing that stinks worse

is the cell they put him in for seven years.

Swindlers like him end up on the wrong side of the stick in prison.

-You know what I mean? -I totally know it.

One doesn't spend other people's money, right, Oszi?

The point is that the whole pile of shit has to be handed over to the police.

Problem solved.

Keep up the good work, ladies!

-A coffee would be nice! -Can I buy you one?

Let's try that.

Don't worry.

The doctor said I will be fine.

I'm going to Hungary one last time.

To take a look at my team…

Papa, will you bring some Túró Rudi for me?

Please.

As much as will fit in my suitcase.

It is clear that sector, right?

Now, to make it even harder, we'll put this here.

It seems like an impossible situation, but there is a solution.

Atti?

-The Jo… jo… jo… -Exactly! The Joulupukki twist.

You really couldn't find matching pants?

I traded them for a bag of litchis at the Chinese grocery.

Fine.

Then just forget anything I told you about the gentleman character.

-You'll be a rich eccentric. -Take it easy!

Remember what I always told you at drama class?

To stand up straight for I looked like I shat myself.

No, the other one.

"I've got a thousand colors. Just find the right shade."

Fuck me with a pogo stick! It's out! You had to distract me, didn't you!

Ahoy!

Let me present to you our sponsor…

Mr.… Uncle Miki Vegyesházy.

Wow…

Well…

We have no words to thank you…

for this…

Don't just stand there, dear.

Pour some champagne for everyone.

Have a flair for the big moments.

Well, she's not a waitress,

but actually one of our most reliable players.

Good, but she's got her arms and legs.

And they are A class.

So, she can go ahead and bring some champagne.

Well, it's not the most modest of dwellings…

-That's true. -But after so much hardship… Am I right?

Thank you. Cheers.

And the hundred million you sent us covers it anyway.

A hundred million?!

For some lousy button flicking?

I mean… that's the least I could do.

Well, it's enough for us.

Yeah… Thank you.

What time is it? Shouldn't we start soon?

Oh, yes. Sure.

-There's just one more important thing. -Money, money, money…

Regarding my money, Oszkár here is the boss.

He's the one coordinating the expenses.

-And he's going to report to me. -Everything's clear.

I hope I won't be disappointed!

Of course!

The helicopter is waiting for me.

Well… He's a bit…

Eccentric.

Eccentric, but he's nice.

Who the fuck cares what he's like.

He gave us a hundred million. Come on, let's get back to it.

Are you sure, no one has seen you took the dog?

-Csabi honey, are you here? -Sure.

I'll hide it, get rid of her quickly.

Marika! Dear Marika!

Csabi, honey, I'm sorry to bother you.

My favorite teacher can never have a reason apologize.

So many strong young men here.

-Good day. -Madam.

I completely forgot to pop in this afternoon.

Well, I was expecting you, Marika.

But don't worry. I didn't forget about it.

Because if Marika tells me that her husband wants pork belly for dinner,

I'll always save the nicest pork belly for her!

You're a good man, Csabi, dear.

Oh, yes! My husband told me not to forget to ask

how you did at that football match or what.

-Did you win, Csabi, dear? -Of course, we did, Marika.

Too bad, there's some silly rule, and we have to play rematch.

So, we still have that ahead of us.

-But we'll do what we have to. -I'm cheering for you, Csabi.

I'm cheering for you.

-How much do I owe you? -Nothing, Marika!

-Happy birthday to your husband. -God bless you, Csabi, dear.

-But you're so thin. Is everything okay? -I still have some reserves, Marika.

All the best to you.

-Greetings to your husband. -I'll tell him.

Who's loved by women is even more merry

But only those can truly be happy

Whom a button player has loved already

Poor, Kálmán. He's totally obsessed with the game against Csiger.

He's gonna spend the whole night practicing the Joulupukki twist.

The one…

-y… you… -Yes, that one.

I did that one.

That was the last time he ever truly smiled at me.

If he weren't so stubborn, I don't know where we'd be, Szili.

I know that exactly. We'd be in rehab.

You'd be a bloated corpse clinging to a slot machine floating in the Danube.

Szili, you could be a bit more uplifting.

Don't throw your garbage around! You're not at home!

You put your feet on the dashboard, where I usually have my breakfast.

You didn't think I'd leave it here. It's worth more than your car.

There is still some, pick that up too, Attila.

They're coming to us. Don't say a word!

-But there's two of them. -That's exactly why you need to shut up.

I remember now! Ferenc Kemény Elementary School!

I went there for a year before the ballet school!

But we haven't met before. My name's Barbi, too.

Yes, that's a cool name.

Hi! I'm Szili Szerencsi. My major was PE.

But after second grade I was out because of my bile.

This is my van. It has reclining seats, in case you want to lean back.

-If you know what I mean. -What?

-If we want to lean back. -Yeah, I got that.

Okay.

If you get in, you'll definitely come with us.

How many golden pussies do you need to shut your trap?

What did I tell you about yapping?

You're right. I got too excited. Sorry.

No, no, please…

I'm ge-- getting out here.

Are you sure?

-See ya. -Bye.

Erika! Hey!

It's just that Atti said that… or he didn't say, but…

Here.

Thanks.

So, this is where you live? Nice neighborhood!

I work at night. But the neighbor… hood sucks.

I was thinking that you don't need to work anymore.

You could be a full-time athlete.

You know, I handle the team's finances.

My fa… fa… fa…

Yes? Please, go on.

My fa… family hates…

hates what I'm doing.

That's impossible.

Invite them to a game. They'll love how amazing you are!

I can't ev-- ever be good enough for my f-- father.

Whatever I d-- do.

And mi… miracles don't exist.

Or at least… they never happen to us.

-You don't even know what I want to ask. -I know, and I say no!

Fuck it.

-Just one last time! -Kálmán, leave him alone.

My goodness!

-It's a miracle you haven't died yet. -We already discussed this last time.

Look, Kálmán. I don't give a shit how much you adore button football.

-Sectorball. -I don't give a shit about that either.

No one cares about that rubbish except you.

It would be a shame to die because of it.

Your heart can't take any more of this.

The next injection could be your last.

Parkinson's is no joke.

You would need proper treatment to have some chance at least.

Come back when you've accepted this.

-But Csiger… -Oh, yes, good that you mention him.

I don't give a shit about him either!

You're welcome.

-Is your prostate doing okay? -When was it ever doing okay?

True.

Try to focus on the people who are truly important.

Thank you.

Presidential suite?

This is why this ugly man came to visit us?

-Tell me something I don't know. -And they have these new sticks.

Like back scratchers.

-Flick-stick. -Except it's a fucking expensive one.

It still had the price tag on it. I said to myself…

"Wow, a back scratcher for a hundred thousand?"

-What else? -And a table like yours.

But not as shitty as this one.

Mahogany inlay, custom size.

Get to the point!

Such a lot of money for button football.

It's Sectorball.

Don't make me push your face into a tub of cracklings.

Ta-da!

You might need to scrape off the burnt edges, but otherwise it's fine.

Well, that's right.

And that too.

Sit.

Fuck you!

Zulu, bring that tub and a bag of coarse salt!

Kálmán has early-stage Parkinson's.

-Parkinson's? -Yes.

The tiniest stress makes his hands start trembling.

If there was some way to put pressure on him,

that could finish him off.

It's Parkinson's, you say.

-And his hands tremble, huh? -Yeah. I saw it with my own eyes.

Then you've got your task all laid out for you.

-Right, Mr. Carp? -Shark.

The name's Shark.

-Who knows my true nature, call me that. -I don't give a shit.

So?

So what?

Well…

For example, don't you find it odd that I've never seen you with a woman?

Okay, you're not exactly a ladies' idol, you don't have much charisma, but…

Well… are you gay?

It's okay if you are.

I don't think so.

You don't think so?

What does that mean?

You know, when you and Mom divorced, that kind of traumatized me.

I'm sure it traumatized the neighbors too.

You know it's tough.

-There's Erika, for example. -Erika?

What does she have to do with this? After all she's not a bad example.

Not at all. That's why I'm saying…

So there is Erika…

Do you think it's a good idea, Dad?

You see, I often ask myself the same question.

But…

Why think about it so much, right? After all, she seems to be fine with it.

It doesn't seem to me that she's fine with it.

You think so?

I don't see her…

bursting with passion.

Nah…

You still have a lot to learn about women.

They're more complicated than the Joulupukki twist.

Now that is perhaps an exaggeration.

Listen, I think Erika is…

-I need to answer this. -Okay…

Yes.

I'm passing through in Paris, maybe I'll stay for a few days.

But then I will come to you.

-Excuse me, I have to go now. -Have a nice trip!

Sniff around those losers some more.

If you find something, maybe I'll dissect another cow.

Eight kilograms of cleaned tripe.

Take away.

Forgive me, but I have to rush to the office.

I need to review the finances.

Don't forget to close the door.

…bi… Nor-bi… bi… bi…

What's wrong, little miss?

I'll bet you can't get a screwdriver like this at Home Depot. Right?

I was just…

Love is a great thing.

Someday, you'll understand it too.

Get the deep fryer gleaming by the time your father arrives.

Go, take the rotten potatoes out.

-Okay, ju-- just let me put a sweater on. -No time for a fashion show.

It's not a f-- fashion show. I'm just cold.

You were hot behind the counter and now you're cold?

Are you already in your menopause, or what?

-Take it out already! -Okay.

-Good evening. -What can I get you?

Erika…

-I mean, I'm looking for Erika. -She left already.

Anything else?

Well, I'm here on behalf of the Sectorball Association--

Oh, you're one of those weirdos.

That weirdo is the best female player in the country.

Not to mention, a great person and an amazing woman.

And I'm very surprised that no one else can see that.

What are you talking about?

-Are you trying to sell something? -Quite the opposite.

Erika has won the Gizella Takács Scholarship.

One hundred thousand forints, every month for six months.

Oh, well, I… don't know what to say…

Hey, young lady!

Are you still here?

Thank God!

I'd like to take Erika to the Scholarship Committee dinner.

Of course, she'll go.

Go, put on something warm, girl. It gets chilly at night.

-But I still have to clean the-- -Your father will do it.

He did nothing all day, anyway.

Here. So you look good. This is a rich guy. Definitely a keeper.

Oops!

Have fun, you two!

D… Do you come here a lot?

This is where I move the lobsters I rescue from the restaurant.

-That's funny. -I'm serious.

Is there something wrong?

Ká… Kálmán wouldn't like it if he saw us like t… this.

Don't worry about that.

He's great at separating sports from his private life.

Maybe you don't kn… know him very well.

Me? I surely do.

I know everything about him.

You know, K… K… Kál…

I like your father, more than as a fellow sportsman.

It's more than that.

He's more of a father to me than my real one.

-Later… even more than that. -I know. He was the best coach.

A father figure. He fought for everyone as long as he could, except for me.

And this button playing is a great idea of his.

But I saw a different side of him, that's also why I won't join the team.

Oszi…

I really li… like you.

But it's better…

if you know…

-we ca… can't have… -…a relationship.

I see.

I'm not surprised.

It must be my muscles that scare you.

And my body height.

And you're right.

Le… Le… Let's skip stones.

It always sinks after the splash.

Too bad there are no miracles.

Or at least they never happen to us.

Oszi!

My favorite animals!

How come…?

-They don't live in rivers. -Well, it's a magical evening, isn't it?

Yes.

Oops… sorry.

-I asked for extra garlic on mine. -I can't even smell it at all…

Yeah… Sure.

It doesn't matter now.

Your owner is here.

Referee! Nice that you could come.

Tootsie! I'm so happy, you found her.

We found her, sure thing.

Poor little lost lamb.

She was so frightened.

How could you wander off, Tootsie? Come to daddy.

Are you a bad girl?

A bad girl, you are?

Well, yes. Her breed likes to wander off.

And if a tiny dog like that, climbs into the meat grinder…

Well, she's lucky if we even notice it.

It would be a pity if next time we had to return your dog stuffed in sausages.

You're not vegetarian, are you?

I am.

Well, then you won't even get her back,

because I'm not vegetarian.

-Well, it's close, my turn. -It's not! My striker is closer.

How could it be closer, Atti? Look, it's obvious.

No way, no.

The goddamned pony's ass is close!

Szili, look at the field. I beg you.

Oszi.

Oszi, which one do you think is closer?

S… so… sorry, I'm late.

That Chinese fast food place was a bad idea.

Hello.

Okay, Oszi, make yourself useful.

Stage Csiger's team for us, will you?

-Not a chance. I'm old for this. -Come on, Oszi, don't speak like that.

You even used to name all the players!

He even held a wedding ceremony for the center-forward once.

The next-door girl's stuffed rabbit was the bride.

That was the last time I saw him with a woman.

-Oszi… -Oszi…

Oszi!

-If you guys insist… let's play. -This is it!

I say he'll lose six-nil.

Let's make a bet!

Come on, only for fun.

Everyone bets what they have in their pockets.

I bet Oszi will give up after four goals, but he'll surely walk away crying.

I bet he'll give up when he's two goals down.

One-nil… for Oszi.

What?

Any problem?

So then…

Oszi?

I'm first.

Can we go?

Throw-in!

Kálmán!

That's it! Your turn, son.

You have seconds left.

Well… But it's over…

I lost.

-Well… -The Jo… Joulupukki twist!

I could say it!

Oh, wait, she's right.

Because if you can shoot this with a Jolloupukki,

you have a chance in this corner.

And you are back in the game.

So?

Well?

Oszi?

Atti, move back!

Oh, well…

If you practice enough, you might have a chance in 20 years.

My bet was the closest, so I win.

Why didn't you embroider a hamburger patty instead?

Crabs have been with me all my life. It was my sign in kin… kin… dergarten.

Cancer is my astrological sign. It's my favorite an… an… imal.

I even em… em… broider it on my panties.

Even on your underwear?

Wow…

Well, I'd be happy to look into that, too, if I could.

-Watch your manners, boys! -Yes, sorry. I just said…

He left crying. That means I win!

Hey, stop!

Oszi!

Come on, stop!

Stop already!

When this…

-When we, Kálmán and I-- -Spare me the details.

It's disgusting!

You and I didn't know each other then.

Since you--

And I, the dumbass idiot,

I thought it was some divine intervention that we always bump into each other.

Fate…

my ass.

Ugh! I'm gonna throw up.

-Kálmán cared about me… -Oh, yes, I bet that.

-He cared about you in all positions. -That's not it.

It was more than that, but it's… over.

Because y… you…

My whole life has been a fight to get free of my father!

So, I could live my own life.

You can't possibly think I'd want his scraps!

Yes.

That's what I am.

Scraps.

I…

I made a mistake by not te… telling you.

I ca… ca… can't

de… de… de… de… deny…

Scraps.

What's wrong with him?

-I ruined e… everything. -What did you ruin?

-I'm done. -What are you talking about, Erika?

I am a di… disgrace.

E… Everything…

wh-- when that cr-- crab--

-because my pa-- pan-- -My joke about your panties?

It wasn't serious, I'm sorry, I…

My father is right…

I'm goo… good for nothing.

I quit!

Now what?

I didn't want to see her panties.

I was just joking.

Don't do this to me. I haven't seen a woman in panties for 14 years.

Wow! You always screw things up.

It's unbelievable how you can't keep it shut.

Though, it's super easy… Just shut up!

Guys, does anyone understand what's going on here?

-Explain it to me if you do. -Just the usual.

He opened his mouth and shit spilled out.

He simply scares all the women away!

He naturally repels every being that is capable of giving birth!

I wonder how Erika could stand your shit for this long!

Cool down, man, okay?

-'Cause what would happen? -Get a grip, Atti!

Will you put me on your death list?

-Attila! -You scum!

Too much blood in your prick?

Drain the blood!

Attila!

Attila!

Don't…

Atti!

You know what you are?

Don't!

Attila… how am I go…

How do I go home?

How will I go…

Do I smell garlic?

Oszi, is that coming off you?

-Good afternoon! -Good afternoon!

Thank God, you're here. Where else would you be anyway?

We have a little problem.

Oszi, I don't know what you said to Erika.

I don't even care.

But she quit the team!

Szilárd and Atti had a fight.

We're in deep shit. You gotta help.

Listen to me, you unfortunate!

I don't want to see you. I only want to work.

Fuck it! You have to play!

Understand?

I'll get Atti and Szili, and you go practice!

We can't do this without you. You get it?

Excuse me, what's going on here?

I'm his father.

Splendid, but it's work hours and this is a workplace.

Oszi, remember the Finnish twist?

-You know about that too? -It's all in my hands.

-But can you do it? -Me? Oszkár will!

-But will you let him? -I won't let him, I'll oblige him.

Thanks!

-What are you doing? -We're off to train.

We've just agreed, haven't we?

I don't mean to intervene,

but you're not talking about the same thing.

-Keep your nose out of this, Missy. -Missy?

Oszi!

Do you let this moron call you "missy"?

-Get the hell out of here, limp dick! -What did you say?

Did you see that right hook I gave him?

The angle was just like in Joulupukki, when the ball curves.

What ball?

My career is over.

My promotion is gone.

My pay grade, the food vouchers, my insurance--

Let it go already! Be happy you got rid of it.

-That guy's an idiot! -That idiot paid your bills, your food!

What's going on in your mind?

Who? That dickhead?

What is he compared to our patron?

We have no patron.

No money.

-The whole thing is a scam. -What?

They wired the money to the wrong account. I withdrew it and I lied that…

Oszi…

How much time do we have?

We can play the rematch.

But forget about the Euros.

What did the doctor say?

It's fifty-fifty.

It's all m… my fault.

No. Mine.

I just want him to come out of there alive.

I'll never open my mouth again. I won't drink. I'll shut up.

It's not your fault, Szili.

I must apologize. For once, I was being a jerk.

I'll fix your van.

Come. Let's wash that shit off?

No need. It suits me.

Unfortunately…

we didn't succeed.

Hey! Take it easy.

I wasn't able to fulfill his wish.

-What? -He opened his eyes and wanted to go…

to some table football game.

Sectorball!

There's no way he will be back on his feet in the next few days.

-Euros! Euros! -Euros! Euros…!

I invented the patron.

Yes.

How could you even take it seriously?

A hundred million? For you guys?

Miracles don't exist.

Or at least they don't happen to us. Am I right?

But this time, a miracle did happen.

And you all got a chance, goddammit!

And I'm not talking about money.

True, it did no harm.

Everyone should get at least one fucking chance in this life!

Everyone. The baker, the postman, the street sweeper,

the truck driver, the sewer cleaner, the prison guard…

Well, I'll be seeing a lot of the latter

because I'm definitely going to jail for this, but I don't care!

I don't give a shit about it!

"A secret chain stretches across the land, connecting all good."

Anyone who leaves now will not be an accomplice.

Anyone who stays, comes with me behind bars.

Okay.

At least I'd be able to quit booze forever in the pen.

When I was seven, I had this bet with my shrink

that I would end up in jail.

At least I'll win.

I… I… I'll miss you guys.

Unfortunately, prison is not co-ed.

Yeah!

Yes!

Of course, it is very difficult to curve it, so do the sector.

This is how you pass it…

You didn't think I'd miss this, did you?

Kálmán!

It's so good to be back with you all.

-Have you been discharged? -Let's not get hung up on details now.

I see you're in shape.

What was that fuss about the other day?

You gave me a heart attack. Well, literally.

-Just a silly misunderstanding. -That's right.

All right.

Oszi… Thanks for everything you did for the team.

I'll take it from here.

It's time to kick Csiger's ass.

That's it!

Tell me Szili!

Oszi, come and watch our game if you feel like it.

You've never seen us play before, have you?

I'll think about it.

GO R.S.C. WE ARE WITH YOU!

What is this?

Guys!

I thought you said their team fell apart.

Where's that Carp? If he screwed me over, I'll filet him.

The winner will represent Hungary at the European Championships in Warsaw.

No further rematch is possible.

Fair play, boys.

That's it!

I shoot at the goal.

I apologize.

Nobody knew you were coming today. Katalin!

I was very clear about it with Boglár.

Boglár…

Who is that Boglár?

Don't make me lose my temper!

He was the one I discussed the whole sponsorship transaction with.

"The whole sponsorship?"

Katalin!

Police! Call the police!

Goal!

My God!

Hand!

-Hand, she touched it. -What?

-It wasn't hand! -Sure it was!

Free kick to Kisbuda.

There it is!

Meat! Meat! Meat!

To the sector! The sector!

What was that?

What are you waving? He pushed him!

-What's that shrug? -There was nothing, go on.

You goof-head! We're not at the butcher's, you!

Let's continue the game!

That's it!

That's it!

You saw it, right?

That's them. The flick-ballers.

A pathetic bunch of losers.

They escaped from some welfare home. Just look at them. Losers.

They stole your money, and they're proud of it, too!

They recently posted this video. Well, many people saw it…

They also asked me for a practice hall, but I kicked them out.

-We are professional. -Ah, yes, professional.

I saw.

Absolutely. We know how to handle money.

For us, money breeds more money.

Everything they've spent on their stupid hobby, we'll invest!

Listen to this!

Goal!

Two-two, goof-head!

Two-two!

I don't care! I don't give a shit about this!

"A secret chain stretches across the land, connecting all good."

What is this nonsense? A zombie apocalypse?

Anyone who leaves now--

Katalin!

-He touched it. I need that cleaned. -Yes, yes, clean it!

That's no problem, go on! Do it! Shoot!

-I need it cleaned. -We won't waste time on it!

But the table is wet!

What yellow card? Don't do this again, referee!

Shush!

Goal!

Take it out!

Take it out! Take it out!

No worries! No problem, Szili! No worries!

I can't deny, I've been looking forward to this moment.

We'll never forget it.

Keeping it in the family, huh?

If you lend her to everybody, why not to me?

That trembling can come in handy later on.

Of course not here, but maybe when you're in bed tonight.

Go on, please.

Boglár! You're up!

I'll skip it.

You don't want to take the shot? It's a clear chance to score.

I'm sure he'd miss a hundred shots in a row.

-Substitution. -You can't have more.

Yes, we can. I didn't touch a single player yet.

-You have no more players. -Sure, we have.

Oszi.

Come. Come here!

Just a moment!

-The hell are you doing? -You crazy? You're much better.

-You're up. -But Kálmán!

I'd have to practice for 20 years. You said so.

You don't understand. The team is yours.

As well as Erika.

You love each other.

An old man with a bad heart has no chance here.

He's totally blind, too.

-But… but… -Listen!

I'm sorry I never paid attention to you before,

and that it took an idiot like this to open my eyes.

Look at this!

So?

-Doctor Slam! -I knew you'd remember.

You still have him?

The one who ever scores with the Joulupukki

will be kept… forever.

-Go Oszi. -Let's play! Come on!

To the goal!

The final, overtime shot.

If it's a tie, we get to go to Warsaw.

-Visitor's advantage. -Visitor's advantage.

There's no way he can score from that.

Goal!

Wow! What a goal!

Oszkár Boglár?

Yes?

You are under arrest on suspicion of financial abuse and misappropriation.

Thank you very much, son.

I thank you, Dad.

Where is my money? Huh?

-Where did you put my money? -I've drunk it all.

-What have you done? -I've drunk it.

You nobody!

Everybody!

Stop!

Though you embezzled my money…

and spent it on…

utter foolishness…

I withdraw my complaint.

Hold on! That money is ours, professionals!

Take it!

Hello!

I cannot accept the outcome of this match under such circumstances.

Police? Arrests? What's this? A slapstick comedy?

That's right. The match is invalid.

What do you mean invalid? The game is over already.

The police intervention disturbed the player taking the shot.

And though he got a goal… it was a score made under incorrect circumstances.

So, the match result is invalid.

So, based on the earlier result, the winner is…

The Team Kisbuda Meat!

And that's us!

R.S.C.! R.S.C.!

R.S.C.! R.S.C.!

R.S.C.! R.S.C.!

R.S.C.! R.S.C.!

In any case, Kálmán, this will remain a good memory.

Damn sure.

Can I have your autographs?

-Our autographs? -You're in the R.S.C., aren't you?

I can't believe that. No kidding?

-And what should I write on it? -A signature.

Well, of course.

Who was that at all? Incredible.

Hi, guys!

The golden pussies.

What did he say?

Szili?

Every word Szili says is golden.

Go on, bro.

Well… what should I say?

Tell us something exciting about button playing.

Well, it's not button football. It's called Sectorball.

The association was founded on November 30, 1958.

That's when they standardized the rules.

The button was replaced by a competition ball.

The competition ball is made of a special plastic compound,

It's a disc grooved on both sides.

Its dimensions are… it's 13 millimeter in diameter

with 0.14-millimeter groove depth.

That's sexy as fuck.

You think so?

Now you say something, too.

The depth… of the groove… is placed…

-two millimeters… far from the diameter… -Yeah.

Oh, boy…

I have no words to thank you. And we're sorry--

Maybe you can help me.

Do you know where I could find some…

really good sweets?

Sure, yeah.

And how about a practice hall?

You mean--

The Sectorball world cup will be held in Brazil next year.

We'll be there!

Excuse me.

-I told you to not go above second gear! -Don't make a scene!

Erika?

Where is Erika?

-Where is Erika? -She's your daughter.

S… so… somebody!

This looks pretty bad, Kálmán.

Good evening.

Di… Did we win?

Yes.

I mean, no, but actually, yes. Never mind.

I love you.

I love you just as you are.

I can't…

mo… mo…

move my leg.

I love you even with a broken leg.

If you can move your hand, I'd like to propose to you.

-Though I think your fingers are… -They're dislocated at best.

I love you too.

This is the…

the happiest day of my life.

It's going to work, Kálmán.

Good evening.

The R.S.C.! Oh, my God! Mom!

-Mom come, they are here! -I'm coming.

-Can I go to play button football? -Of course!

Can I go down? Tell me I can, please!

-Okay. -Yes!

Excuse me, could you tell me how you heard about us?

Everyone's heard of you.

"A secret chain stretches across the land…"

-Oszi's speech. -What?

A hundred thousand views!

A hundred thousand!

-A hundred thousand! -A hundred thousand!

-Two hundred of those was my daughter. -A hundred thousand views!

-Hi! -Will there be a button football school?

Yes, but it's called Sectorball!

THE END