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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:05,206 - OH, THAT IS REALLY A BABY... 2 00:00:05,239 --> 00:00:07,375 A BABY PERSON... [chuckles] BABY RUBY. 3 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:08,709 IS IT RUBY OR RUDY? 4 00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:11,179 ARE THERE GIRLS NAMED RUDY? IT'S A GIRL, RIGHT? 5 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:13,547 - YES. RUBY. - RUBY. 6 00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:16,117 - HELEN, FIRST, I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR HAVING US OVER. 7 00:00:16,150 --> 00:00:17,218 AND THEN I WANT TO CUT TO THE CHASE. 8 00:00:17,251 --> 00:00:20,154 PETE WAS MY BROTHER, AND IF HE HADN'T, YOU KNOW... 9 00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:21,589 - PASSED. - DIED... 10 00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,257 HE WOULD BE YOUR HUSBAND, 11 00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:25,826 AND WHILE I REALIZE THAT WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON 12 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:28,829 AND WE AREN'T ACTUALLY FAMILY, I CONSIDER US FAMILY. 13 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,731 - WE DON'T HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON. 14 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,533 [women chuckle] - UH, WE'RE BREAST-FEEDING. 15 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,702 - OF COURSE. - AND IT'S NOON. 16 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:36,370 - WELL, THEN I'LL TOAST. 17 00:00:36,404 --> 00:00:39,473 CONGRATULATIONS TO EDITH, THAD, AND RUBY--RUDY. 18 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:40,641 - RUBY. 19 00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:43,677 - YOU WANT TO HOLD HER? 20 00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:45,413 - OH. 21 00:00:45,446 --> 00:00:47,215 UH, I DON'T KNOW. SHOULD I? 22 00:00:47,248 --> 00:00:48,282 - YES! 23 00:00:48,316 --> 00:00:51,352 - HEY, RUBY. - [babbles] 24 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,653 - ANYWAY, I CONSIDER US FAMILY, 25 00:00:52,686 --> 00:00:54,688 BECAUSE THAT WAS WHAT WAS IN PETE'S HEART, 26 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,757 AND HE STILL LIVES IN MINE. 27 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:59,460 - SURE, IN MINE, TOO. - WELL, FOR ME HE'S IN THERE... 28 00:00:59,493 --> 00:01:00,794 LIKE, ALIVE. [baby cries] 29 00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:02,263 - LOOK--HERE, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE-- 30 00:01:02,296 --> 00:01:03,764 - OH, NO, NO, KEEP HOLDING HER, PLEASE. 31 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:06,300 I'M NOT FINISHED. [baby babbles] 32 00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:09,170 - HELEN, I'M HERE BECAUSE IF PETE HADN'T, YOU KNOW... 33 00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,404 - PASSED. - [sighs] THANK YOU. 34 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,206 YOU WOULD BE MARRIED, 35 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,208 AND I WOULD BE ASKING YOU BOTH, 36 00:01:14,242 --> 00:01:17,111 BUT IT'S JUST YOU NOW, PHYSICALLY, 37 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:18,546 SO I'M ASKING YOU. 38 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,615 THAD AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BE RUBY'S GODMOTHER. 39 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:22,750 [baby cries] 40 00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:25,286 - HER GODMOTHER? 41 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:27,188 OH, THAT'S GREAT. 42 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:29,790 [laughs] MMM. [baby cries] 43 00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,659 [bluesy rock] 44 00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:36,464 - * HELP ME, BABY, IF YOU CAN * 45 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:39,267 * SOMETIMES IT'S MORE 46 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,469 * THAN I CAN STAND 47 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,472 * HELP ME, BABY 48 00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,540 * IF YOU CAN 49 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:49,377 * OH, HELP ME 50 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,612 * OH, YEAH 51 00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:54,315 - A GODMOTHER, YOU? REALLY? 52 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,516 - WHY NOT? ISN'T IT ALL JUST 53 00:01:55,549 --> 00:01:57,451 ABOUT SLIPPING THEM CANDY TILL THEIR OLD ENOUGH TO DRINK? 54 00:01:57,485 --> 00:01:59,420 - YES, NEVER MIND. YOU'LL BE PERFECT. 55 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,855 - I MEAN, IS EDITH COMPLETELY CRAZY? YES. 56 00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,391 BUT I THINK THAT I CAN KEEP HER AT BAY 57 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,359 AND HAVE THIS TINY, LITTLE LINK TO PETE. 58 00:02:05,393 --> 00:02:07,361 - YOU REALIZE THAT EVEN TINY, LITTLE LINKS 59 00:02:07,395 --> 00:02:08,896 OCCASIONALLY REQUIRE SOME ADULT CARE, RIGHT? 60 00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,798 LIKE BOTTLES, DIAPER CHANGES, 61 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:12,700 ACTUALLY PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM. 62 00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,902 - THAT'S WHAT I HAVE YOU FOR. I JUST DO THE FUN STUFF. 63 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,538 - OH. SO WHA-- I'M YOUR NANNY NOW? 64 00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:18,839 - WELL, TECHNICALLY, YOU'D BE THE GOD-NANNY, 65 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,308 SINCE I'M RUDY'S GODMOTHER. 66 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:22,576 - RUDY? I THOUGHT HER NAME WAS RUBY. 67 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:23,444 - MORNING, ALL. 68 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,713 AS SOME OF YOU ALREADY KNOW, MY RIVAL-- 69 00:02:25,746 --> 00:02:28,349 DEAR OLD CHARLIE RENFREW-- PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING. 70 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:29,517 - OH. - I WANT YOU ALL TO GO 71 00:02:29,550 --> 00:02:31,252 TO THE SERVICE AND PAY YOUR RESPECTS 72 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,753 TO A GOOD FRIEND AND ESTEEMED COLLEAGUE. 73 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,522 - ALL RIGHT. - RIGHT. 74 00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:36,557 - AND THEN PICK OFF THE POOR, OLD BASTARD'S CLIENTS. 75 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,692 - NICE. - I'M SORRY. 76 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:40,894 YOU WANT US TO POACH CLIENTS AT A FUNERAL. 77 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,497 - YES. HELEN, I KNOW THIS IS YOUR FIRST FUNERAL 78 00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:44,532 SINCE THE FIANCE DIED. 79 00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:46,200 FEEL FREE TO WORK THAT ANGLE. 80 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,401 - OH. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA, THANK YOU. 81 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:48,502 - THAT DOESN'T SEEM FAIR. 82 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:49,537 - TO ADD A SPORTING ELEMENT, 83 00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:50,738 THERE WILL BE A $4,000 BONUS 84 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:53,907 TO WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU WANKERS CAN HOOK THE MOST CLIENTS. 85 00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,510 - SECOND PLACE GETS TWO SICK DAYS OFF, 86 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,545 UH, WITHOUT PAY, 87 00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:00,548 AND THIRD PLACE GETS HIS CAR DETAILED BY GREGG. 88 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:01,649 - WHAT IF I COME IN THIRD? 89 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,983 - JUST TO BE CLEAR HERE, 90 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,952 ON THE DAY WHEN PEOPLE ARE COMING TOGETHER 91 00:03:04,985 --> 00:03:07,555 TO MOURN THE LOSS OF THEIR DEAR FRIEND AND REPRESENTATIVE, 92 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,458 CHARLIE RENFREW, YOU WANT US TO STEAL HIS CLIENTS 93 00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:12,626 WHILE HE'S LYING DEAD IN A COFFIN A FEW FEET AWAY. 94 00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,728 - WELL DONE. - TO REVIEW, FROM THE TOP... 95 00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:15,963 [machine beep] 96 00:03:15,996 --> 00:03:18,732 RICHARD PACKER, OLLIE SPORTS-- 100 POINTS. 97 00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:19,967 - DIBS. - YOU CAN'T CALL DIBS. 98 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,635 both: NO DIBS. - NO DIBS. 99 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,971 - OH, NOT ANOTHER BUMPER STICKER. 100 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,939 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUT IT ON YOUR CAR. 101 00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:27,207 - WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING? OF COURSE I DO. 102 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:30,778 HOW ELSE WILL TAILGATERS KNOW THAT MY SON IS AN HONOR STUDENT? 103 00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:33,381 YOU KNOW, YOU KEEP THIS UP, I'M GONNA NEED A WIDER CAR. 104 00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,450 - SO NOW I GET TO GO TO SPACE CAMP? 105 00:03:36,484 --> 00:03:38,852 - OF COUR--YEAH, SPACE CAMP. THAT'S RIGHT. 106 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:41,389 - I MEAN, I ALMOST GOT A "B" IN MATH, BUT, YOU KNOW... 107 00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,557 THE PRESIDENT WANTS US ON MARS BY 2030. 108 00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,726 - RIGHT. - THAT WAS THE DEAL, RIGHT? 109 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:48,028 HONORS THREE TIMES, AND I GET TO GO? 110 00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,531 I MEAN, I WOULDN'T WANT TO LET DOWN THE PRESIDENT. 111 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,266 HE'S GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS. 112 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,969 - OH, YES, HE DOES. YES, HE DOES--POOR MAN. 113 00:03:56,003 --> 00:03:58,606 - ...HAVING A WONDERFUL FATHER, FAMILY MEMBER. 114 00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:02,443 AND SO WE TAKE COMFORT KNOWING THAT CHARLIE ABIDES NOW 115 00:04:02,476 --> 00:04:04,445 IN A BETTER PLACE. 116 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,546 AMEN. 117 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,448 - ARE YOU SURE THAT SPACE CAMP'S EVEN STILL A THING? 118 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,017 I THOUGHT WE GAVE UP ON SPACE. - NO, IT'S A THING, BELIEVE ME. 119 00:04:10,050 --> 00:04:12,653 IT'S A $3,600 THING THAT I PROMISED MY SON, 120 00:04:12,686 --> 00:04:14,655 AND MY ONLY HOPE OF NOT FAILING HIM 121 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:16,490 IS TO DISHONOR A MAN'S MEMORY 122 00:04:16,524 --> 00:04:17,891 BY POACHING THE MOST CLIENTS AT HIS FUNERAL. 123 00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,293 - MM. 124 00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:20,661 - OH, GOD. I SHOULD'VE GOTTEN NEW SHOES. 125 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,530 DO THESE-- DO THOSE BLACKS MATCH? 126 00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,532 - AH, WHO CARES? YOU'RE GONNA WIN. 127 00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,500 YOU ALWAYS WIN THESE THINGS. - NO, IT'S TRUE. 128 00:04:26,534 --> 00:04:28,536 BUT THIS TIME YOU ARE GONNA STEP IT UP. 129 00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,605 YOU ARE GONNA WIN, AND YOU ARE GONNA SHOOT YOUR SON INTO SPACE. 130 00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:32,873 - YOU THINK SO, HUH? 131 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:36,043 - I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT, BECAUSE I PROMISE NOT TO TRY SO HARD. 132 00:04:36,076 --> 00:04:37,645 - OH, THANK YOU. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 133 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:40,013 - I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE THE WORLD'S GREATEST DAD. 134 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:42,683 - HOW ARE YOU? ARE YOU-- ARE YOU DOING OKAY? 135 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:43,717 - ME, WHY? 136 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,687 - THIS IS YOUR FIRST FUNERAL SINCE, YOU KNOW... 137 00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:47,855 PETE DIED. 138 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:50,424 - YEAH, I KNOW. I'M FINE. QUIT ASKING. 139 00:04:50,458 --> 00:04:52,760 - I ASKED YOU ONCE. - [sighs] 140 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,663 [church bells tolling] - [sighs] 141 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,098 - WELL, AT LEAST HE DIED PEACEFULLY IN HIS SLEEP. 142 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,568 IT COULD'VE BEEN WORSE. - IT'S ALMOST TOO EASY. 143 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,536 I ONCE HAD TO POACH CLIENTS AT A SERVICE 144 00:05:02,570 --> 00:05:05,038 FOR A MAN WHO WAS JULIENNED BY THE PROPELLER OF A CRUISE SHIP, 145 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:06,674 TALK ABOUT DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY. - UGH. 146 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:08,976 - DUDE, I AM GONNA RULE THIS FUNERAL. 147 00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:11,545 - EXCUSE ME. I'M SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR FATHER. 148 00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:12,946 THAT WAS A VERY TOUCHING SPEECH. 149 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,915 DID YOU KNOW MY FATHER WELL? 150 00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:17,585 - UH, MOSTLY BY REPUTATION. - MY DAD WAS AN ASSFACE. 151 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,553 - OH. WELL, THEN VERY ARTFUL SPEE-- 152 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,922 - HE NEVER GAVE A CRAP ABOUT ANYTHING I DID, NOT EVEN S.B. 153 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,758 - UH, S.B.? - SYNCHRONIZED BALLOONING. 154 00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,727 I HAD TO CREATE THE RULES MYSELF. 155 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,496 I HAD TO CREATE THE LEAGUE MYSELF. 156 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,998 AND THEN WHEN I FINISHED TOP TEN, NOTHING. 157 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:32,766 I'M JUST SORRY HE DIED IN HIS SLEEP 158 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,003 INSTEAD OF BEING TORN APART BY WOLVERINES. 159 00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,709 - I'D BETTER START POACHING, OR MY SON'S GONNA WANT ME 160 00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,711 TO BE TORN APART BY WOLVERINES SOMEDAY. 161 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:45,546 - WHOSE IDEA WAS A HEARSE? 162 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:46,714 - WHO WANTS THEIR LAST CAR RIDE ON EARTH 163 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,549 TO BE IN A BIG, DUMB STATION WAGON? 164 00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:49,617 HEARSES ARE STUPID. 165 00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:53,387 - ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY? Y-YOU WANT TO TALK? 166 00:05:53,421 --> 00:05:55,989 - I'M GOOD. FORGET ABOUT ME. WE'RE FOCUSED ON YOU. 167 00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,758 THIS IS ABOUT YOU WINNING-- SPACE CAMP. 168 00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,527 - RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT, SPACE CAMP, SPACE CAMP. 169 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,761 OKAY, WIN, WIN, WIN. - [breathes deeply] 170 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,530 - UM, SEE THAT GUY THERE, 171 00:06:02,563 --> 00:06:04,432 WITH THE GRAY HAIR, SITTIN' DOWN WITH THE BOW TIE? 172 00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:05,799 THAT'S WALSH ALUMINUM, ISN'T IT? 173 00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:07,901 - GO. WINNING. CONFIDENCE. 174 00:06:07,935 --> 00:06:10,538 - ALL RIGHT, OKAY. 175 00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,540 PARDON ME. TOM WALSH, WALSH ALUMINUM? 176 00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:13,974 - YES. - HI, I'M ALEX TAYLOR. 177 00:06:14,007 --> 00:06:15,175 I'M FROM HALE DAYTON-- 178 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,445 - PARDON ME. - OH, YOU'RE DOING THIS NOW. 179 00:06:17,478 --> 00:06:20,013 ALL RIGHT, UM, WELL, WHY DON'T I--IF I COULD JUST-- 180 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,049 WELL, OKAY, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. 181 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,652 [bagpipes playing] 182 00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:31,925 - OKAY, GEOFFREY TUCKETT, WATUCKI BEDDING, TWO O'CLOCK-- 183 00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,727 FIVE POINTS. - GO AHEAD. 184 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,663 GET HIM, 'CAUSE I SEE-- - RICHARD PACKER... 185 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:36,930 HITTIN' THE MEN'S. 186 00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:39,433 BOY, I AM SO NAILIN' HIM IN THERE. 187 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:40,768 - EW. 188 00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:43,604 GREGG... TUCKETT--FIVE POINTS. 189 00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:45,639 OH, AND TRY NOT TO BREATHE ON HIM. 190 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:46,674 - I HATE YOU. 191 00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:50,478 - AND I SEE A 34-C WHO LOOKS MOVED, YET BORED. 192 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:51,945 SMOOTH SAILING, EMMA. 193 00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:54,715 - ALL RIGHT, COME ON, GIVE ME A BIG FISH--BIG. 194 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,650 - YOU'RE NOT READY. YOU'RE MORALLY CONFLICTED. 195 00:06:56,684 --> 00:06:58,552 - I'M NOT MORALLY CONFLICTED. - YOUR PUPILS DILATE. 196 00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,120 - EMMA, I DON'T TELL YOU HOW TO DO YOUR JOB. 197 00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:01,689 - A BIG FISH WILL SENSE YOUR DOUBT. 198 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:03,123 - PLEASE DON'T TELL ME HOW TO DO MINE, ALL RIGHT? 199 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,625 NOW, GIVE ME A BIG FISH RIGHT NOW. 200 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,193 - FYI--YOU JUST TOLD ME HOW TO DO MY JOB. 201 00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,661 - I'M YOUR BOSS, ALL RIGHT? 202 00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:08,529 GIVE ME A BIG FISH RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'RE FIRED. 203 00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:09,997 - I'M JUST SAYING-- - FISH OR FIRED. 204 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:12,165 FISH OR FIRED. NOW. NOW. NOW! 205 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,734 - OKAY, OKAY. - NOW. 206 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,969 - DAVE WUPPA--30 POINTS. 207 00:07:16,003 --> 00:07:18,071 YES. 208 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,707 - THANK YOU. 209 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:22,610 [breathes deeply] ALL RIGHT, COME ON. 210 00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:23,777 SPACE CAMP. SPACE CAMP. 211 00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,647 - BUT EVEN THOUGH IT'S A SAD OCCASION, I GOT TO SAY, MAN, 212 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,716 I JUST LOVE YOUR WHOLE GESTALT. 213 00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:31,251 AND YOUR FLEECE IS FRICKIN' SOFT. 214 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,654 IF YOU EVER WANT TO-- - YOU WANT TO GET LOST, WHORE? 215 00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:36,957 - AWESOME. 216 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,792 - COULD I GET A GLASS OF CHARDONNAY? 217 00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:39,960 - GOT IT. - ACTUALLY, I'M WORKING. 218 00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:41,228 JUST A SPARKLING WATER. - SURE THING. 219 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:42,696 [cell phone rings] - OH. 220 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:44,131 HELLO? 221 00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,767 - HI, HELEN. SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. 222 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,570 UH, JUST WANTED TO ASK, ARE YOU BABY-PROOFED? 223 00:07:49,603 --> 00:07:52,072 - I'M ON THE PILL, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN. 224 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:55,042 - UH, NO, I-I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR APARTMENT. 225 00:07:55,075 --> 00:07:56,610 HAS IT BEEN MADE BABY-SAFE? 226 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:59,647 'CAUSE THAD AND I ARE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD... 227 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,081 OUTSIDE YOUR APARTMENT, ACTUALLY, 228 00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:02,616 WITH ALL THE EQUIPMENT NEEDED. 229 00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,585 ARE YOU HOME AND JUST NOT ANSWERING, LIKE AT EASTER? 230 00:08:04,618 --> 00:08:06,854 - ACTUALLY, I AM A LITTLE BUSY. I'M AT A FUNERAL AT ST. PAUL'S. 231 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,689 BUT I KNOW THAT YOU STILL HAVE PETE'S KEY, 232 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:10,157 SO JUST GO ON IN AHEAD, AND WHATEVER YOU NEED-- 233 00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:11,659 - SHE'S AT A FUNERAL. 234 00:08:11,692 --> 00:08:12,993 ARE YOU OKAY? - FINE. 235 00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,762 IT'S A BUSINESS FUNERAL. - HELEN... 236 00:08:14,795 --> 00:08:17,731 IS THIS THE FIRST FUNERAL YOU'VE BEEN TO SINCE PETE, 237 00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:18,632 YOU KNOW... - PASSED. 238 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,634 - DIED? YES, IT'S FINE. 239 00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:22,235 OH, THEY HAVE MONOGRAMMED NAPKINS. 240 00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:25,639 "WIPE UP YOUR SPILL AND REMEMBER THE DEPARTED." 241 00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:27,708 GOD, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? 242 00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:29,209 YOU KNOW, I'LL TAKE A WHISKEY ON THE ROCKS. 243 00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:31,612 - PETE WAS NEVER IN FAVOR OF MONOGRAMS. 244 00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,881 HELEN, ARE YOU OKAY? DO YOU NEED ME TO COME? 245 00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,584 - WHAT? NO. NO, I'M FINE, REALLY. 246 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,019 UH, YOU JUST GO TO TOWN. [phone beeps] 247 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,754 - WHISKEY ROCKS. 248 00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:44,592 - YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M WORKING. NEVER MIND. 249 00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,302 - [clears throat] I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS. 250 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:58,138 MY KID REALLY WANTS TO GO TO SPACE CAMP... 251 00:08:58,171 --> 00:08:59,607 ALTHOUGH IF IT WERE MY FUNERAL, 252 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,341 YOU'D PROBABLY BE DOING THE SAME THING, RIGHT? 253 00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,578 ONLY A LOT BETTER, BECAUSE, WELL, YOU WERE YOU. 254 00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:06,213 - IT'S GOOD TO TALK, ISN'T IT? 255 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,215 - OH, HI. HI, FATHER. - HI. 256 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,017 YEAH, I BELIEVE THAT THEY CAN HEAR US 257 00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:11,719 AND THAT THEY'RE COMFORTED. 258 00:09:11,752 --> 00:09:12,886 DID YOU KNOW CHARLIE WELL? 259 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:16,123 - OH, Y--WELL, YOU KNOW, I-I COULD HAVE KNOWN HIM BETTER. 260 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,659 - MM-HMM. - WE, UM--WE DIDN'T, UM-- 261 00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,227 UH, OH, WOULD YOU EXCUSE ME? 262 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,662 THERE'S SOMEONE THERE I NEED TO-- 263 00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,631 I HAVE TO GO COMFORT SOMEONE. THANK YOU. 264 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:26,767 - MR. WUPPA, 265 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,669 I-I'M GOING TO BE DIRECT. 266 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:29,937 THIS IS A VERY SAD EVENT. 267 00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:31,371 IF IT WERE ANYBODY ELSE'S FUNERAL, 268 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,140 I WOULD SIMPLY SAY, "I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS," 269 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,142 AND I WOULD WALK AWAY, BUT WE BOTH KNOW 270 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:36,644 THAT CHARLIE RENFREW WAS A WORKHORSE, RIGHT? 271 00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:39,079 SO I WANT YOU TO CONSIDER THIS MY HOMAGE TO HIM. 272 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,681 MY NAME IS ALEX TAYLOR. 273 00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,616 I VERY MUCH WOULD LIKE TO PUT ON THOSE WORKHORSE SHOES 274 00:09:42,650 --> 00:09:44,818 OR NAIL THEM ON, I GUESS, IF THEY'RE HORSESHOES, 275 00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,620 BUT WHATEVER THEY ARE, HUMAN SHOES, HORSESHOES-- 276 00:09:46,654 --> 00:09:47,655 THE POINT IS THAT THEY'RE WORK SHOES, 277 00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,658 AND I WOULD LIKE TO WEAR THEM... 278 00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:51,825 FOR--FOR YOU. 279 00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,226 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 280 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:56,697 - PUBLIC RELATIONS, HALE DAYTON-- 281 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,331 AL--ALEX TAYLOR. 282 00:09:59,667 --> 00:10:01,802 - W-WHERE DO YOU THINK WE GO WHEN WE DIE? 283 00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,671 - WELL, I CAN'T SPEAK FOR CHARLIE, BUT SHALL BE 284 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,873 IN A CRYOGENIC STORAGE UNIT IN SCOTTSDALE, ARIZONA, 285 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,140 UNTIL YOU BASTARDS ARE GONE. 286 00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:08,408 THEN I'LL BE BACK TO HIT ON YOUR DAUGHTERS. 287 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,310 - THIS DEATH STUFF IS REALLY FREAKIN' ME OUT. 288 00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,379 - OH, YEAH? I'M ALL RIGHT WITH IT, ACTUALLY. 289 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:13,947 - IT DOESN'T FREAK YOU OUT? - NO. 290 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,282 A COUPLE YEARS AGO, 291 00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,150 I HAD A THREESOME WITH DUTCH TWINS ATOP KILIMANJARO. 292 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,652 - WHAT WAS THAT LIKE? 293 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,854 - MOUNTAIN'S OVERRATED. THE DUTCH ARE NOT. 294 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:23,757 POINT IS, IT WAS THE LAST ITEM ON MY BUCKET LIST, 295 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:26,026 AND I HAVE NOW DONE EVERYTHING THAT I WANTED TO DO IN LIFE. 296 00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:27,728 WHAT IS THE FEAR OF DEATH, 297 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,663 BUT THE FEAR OF NOT HAVING TRULY LIVED? 298 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,431 JUST CROSS A FEW ITEMS OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST, 299 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,133 AND THIS WON'T SEEM SO BAD. 300 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:34,702 - I'VE CROSSED OFF A BUNCH OF ITEMS. 301 00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,670 I INSTALLED A WATER FEATURE. 302 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:38,739 I CLOSED THE BAR AT CHILI'S, 303 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,340 SAW THIRD EYE BLIND AT THE COUNTY FAIR. 304 00:10:40,373 --> 00:10:43,176 - FASCINATING. YOUR BUCKET LIST MAKES ME WANT TO DIE. 305 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:46,046 LET'S TRY DREAMING A LITTLE BIGGER, SHALL WE? 306 00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:46,914 - YOU LIKE THE BLAZERS? 307 00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,415 YOU JUST TELL ME WHERE YOU WANT TO SIT. 308 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:50,751 I WILL LIE FOR YOU, I WILL KILL FOR YOU, 309 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,919 I'LL GIVE YOU MY HEART, MY SPLEEN. 310 00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:52,853 JUST PICK A BODY PART, SIR. 311 00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,022 YOU WANT MY BLOOD? YOU CAN HAVE ALL OF IT. 312 00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,690 JUST-- 313 00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:59,326 AND--AND THAT'S MY--MY FAVORITE PARABLE. 314 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,728 UM, MR. WUPPA, 315 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,763 IF YOU'D BE KIND ENOUGH TO GIVE ME YOUR CARD-- 316 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,365 - CHARLIE NEVER GOT MY BUBBLE WRAP IN PACKAGE MAGAZINE. 317 00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:06,399 I WANT THE COVER. 318 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,702 - YOU GOT IT. I PROMISE YOU. 319 00:11:08,736 --> 00:11:11,471 - CALL ME. - I WILL. THANK YOU. 320 00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:14,775 YES, YES! 321 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:17,811 I COMFORTED HIM. 322 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:20,347 I DID IT. 323 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:21,849 [exhales deeply] 324 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,884 BIG FISH--DAVE WUPPA. 325 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:26,119 THANK YOU--30 POINTS. 326 00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:28,055 DON'T SEE WHY A BUBBLE WRAP COMPANY IS WORTH 30 POINTS, 327 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,489 BUT WHATEVER. 328 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:34,261 - "CUSHIONED AIRCORP." OH, IT'S NINE. 329 00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:37,497 NINE? I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT FOR NINE POINTS? 330 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,099 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 331 00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:40,834 - SORRY. YOU JUST GOT ME ALL FLUSTERED, 332 00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,502 WITH YOUR WHOLE "FISH OR FIRED" THING. 333 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,304 - EMMA-- - HERE, MEREDITH BANKS... 334 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,139 WESTERN BAUXITE-- 15 POINTS. 335 00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:47,775 - MEREDITH BANKS? 336 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,077 OKAY, SAY YOU LIKE HER SHOES, ASK HER ABOUT HER HORSE, 337 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,311 AND YOU CAN GET A RISE OUT OF HER 338 00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,747 IF YOU MENTION EASTERN BAUXITE. 339 00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:55,348 - OKAY. - YOU CAN DO IT. 340 00:11:55,382 --> 00:11:56,984 - HOW'S IT GOING? 341 00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,152 - UH, YOU KNOW, AT A FUNERAL-- BARELY HOLDING IT TOGETHER, 342 00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:01,488 BUT, YOU KNOW-- - NO, YOUR SCORE. 343 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,356 - OH. 344 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:06,393 UH, 16 POINTS. 345 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:10,430 OKAY, I CHANGED MY MIND. I NEED A DRINK. 346 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,532 WINE--ENORMOUS. 347 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,301 - YOU GOT IT. - AND A GINGER ALE, PLEASE-- 348 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:15,502 REGULAR SIZE. 349 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,938 - I DON'T USUALLY ORDER ENORMOUS WINES. 350 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,307 - HMM. - I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF FUNERALS. 351 00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:23,510 I THINK IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE IT REMINDS ME OF MY FIANCE DYING. 352 00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,779 - OH, I'M SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR LOSS. 353 00:12:25,813 --> 00:12:27,047 - THANK YOU. 354 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:28,515 IS THAT IT? 355 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,250 - IS WHAT IT? 356 00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:32,085 - COMFORTING-WISE, 'CAUSE I THOUGHT THIS WAS, LIKE, 357 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,021 YOUR GUYS'S AREA OF EXPERTISE. 358 00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:35,555 AND DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE, LIKE, A BIG THING, 359 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:38,058 LIKE, "IT'S ALL PART OF GOD'S PLAN" KIND OF A DEAL? 360 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,862 ONE GUY DROPPING DEAD SOMEHOW SAVES A BUSLOAD OF ORPHANS-- 361 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,831 'CAUSE THAT WOULD BE COMFORTING. - WELL, YES. 362 00:12:43,864 --> 00:12:45,933 I-I DO BELIEVE THAT GOD HAS A PLAN, 363 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:47,400 EVEN IF WE DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. 364 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,269 - UH, OKAY. 365 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,038 - NOT DOIN' IT FOR YOU? 366 00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:52,873 - DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. 367 00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:55,508 - HMM. YOU KNOW, I'VE SUGGESTED THAT HE POST IT ONLINE, 368 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:58,478 BUT YOU KNOW HOW BUSY HE CAN BE. 369 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:01,081 - OH! THAT'S CUTE. [both laugh] 370 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,049 - WELL, YOU KNOW, THIS IS WHY 371 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:05,252 THEY SAY THAT HE WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. 372 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:10,891 WELL, ACTUALLY, MOST OF MY STUFF IS IN A SIMILAR VEIN, 373 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:12,559 - YEAH. 374 00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:15,562 MAYBE WE'LL JUST LEAVE IT AT "SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS." 375 00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:18,098 - "RIDE A PEGASUS OR ANY OTHER SORT OF WINGED HORSE. 376 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,532 "MAKE LOVE TO KATE MIDDLETON. 377 00:13:19,566 --> 00:13:22,002 "SAVE ONE GALAXY FROM ANOTHER GALAXY. 378 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,403 MAKE LOVE TO KATE MIDDLETON." 379 00:13:23,436 --> 00:13:25,906 - YOU SAID THAT ALREADY. - I WANT TO DO IT TO HER TWICE. 380 00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:26,907 - LET ME STOP YOU THERE. 381 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,075 WHEN I SAID, "DREAM BIG," 382 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,442 I DIDN'T MEAN, "DREAM IMPOSSIBLE," 383 00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,244 OR BEYOND SPACE AND TIME. 384 00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,280 - BUT FLYING AN X-WING FIGHTER-- THAT'S ON YOURS. 385 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,016 - BECAUSE IT'S A SEXUAL POSITION WITH SCISSORING LESBIANS. 386 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,518 FOCUS ON SOMETHING GRAND AND YET WITHIN YOUR GRASP. 387 00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:41,955 - ZIP-LINING IN COSTA RICA... 388 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:45,492 WITH LESBIANS. 389 00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,293 - CLOSER. 390 00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,194 - MS. BANKS, IF YOU WOULD LIKE-- 391 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,596 - SORRY, THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE. 392 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:52,065 - I COULDN'T AGREE WITH YOU MORE. 393 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,604 - HOW'S IT GOING? IS BILLY GOIN' TO SPACE? 394 00:13:57,637 --> 00:13:59,439 - UH, MAYBE IN, LIKE, 2050, 395 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:01,108 WHEN WE'RE ALL FLEEING OUR DYING PLANET 396 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,542 ON SOME KIND OF GIANT SPACE ARK. 397 00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:04,277 - IF BILLY DOESN'T GO TO SPACE CAMP, 398 00:14:04,311 --> 00:14:06,513 IT'S ALL A PART OF GOD'S PLAN, 399 00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:08,348 WHICH APPARENTLY HE DOESN'T MAKE PUBLIC, 400 00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,183 SO IT COULD JUST BE, LIKE, WHATEVER. 401 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,518 - YOU SURE YOU'RE DOIN' OKAY OVER THERE? 402 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,153 YOU WOULD TELL ME IF YOU NEED ANYTHING, RIGHT? 403 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,087 - YEAH, YEAH. I'M FINE. 404 00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,156 OKAY, SHAKE IT OFF. GET BACK OUT THERE. 405 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,558 NEVER SAY DIE. - TELL THAT TO CHARLIE RENFREW. 406 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,027 - COME ON. 407 00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:21,461 [pats on back] 408 00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,630 UM... 409 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,498 - HELEN. 410 00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,468 HI. - EDITH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING-- 411 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:30,103 YOU'RE THE GODMOTHER OF MY CHILD. 412 00:14:30,137 --> 00:14:32,072 WHEN YOU'RE IN TROUBLE, I DROP EVERYTHING AND COME TO HELP. 413 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,507 - I AM NOT IN TROUBLE. - YOU'RE AT A FUNERAL. 414 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,509 I COULD TELL BY YOUR VOICE ON THE PHONE THAT YOU'RE IN CRISIS. 415 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:39,546 - I AM FINE. THIS FUNERAL IS GREAT. 416 00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,215 THAT WREATH IS AMAZING. THERE'S A GUY PLAYING BAGPIPES. 417 00:14:42,249 --> 00:14:44,417 THEY HAVE MONOGRAMMED NAPKINS. 418 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:48,455 COMPARED TO THIS, PETE'S FUNERAL WAS REALLY DEPRESSING. 419 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,657 - COME ON, LET'S TALK. 420 00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:01,034 - THESE GUYS ALWAYS LOOK SO BUMMED. 421 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,503 - YEAH, WELL, HE PROBABLY KNOWS WHAT'S GOIN' ON IN THERE. 422 00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:05,038 - I HEAR YOU, MAN. 423 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,506 IT'S LIKE A FEEDING FRENZY OF P.R. SHARKS IN THERE. 424 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:10,377 - YEAH. WE PREFER THE TERM "VULTURES," ACTUALLY. 425 00:15:11,711 --> 00:15:14,181 - YOU'RE IN P.R.? 426 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,448 - AL--ALEX TAYLOR-- 427 00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,950 PROFESSIONAL VULTURE. 428 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,651 NICE TO MEET YOU. 429 00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,720 - RIGHT ON, MAN. 430 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:23,256 YOU'RE THE ONLY GUY I'VE MET TODAY THAT'S TOLD ME THE TRUTH, 431 00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:25,625 WITHOUT TRYIN' TO WORK SOME ANGLE OR BAG ME AS A CLIENT. 432 00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,494 - LISTEN, UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME, 433 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:30,063 I COULD NOT WORK AN ANGLE TO SAVE MY LIFE, 434 00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:37,604 SO, UM... 435 00:15:37,637 --> 00:15:39,072 - DAN GOT CREDIT FOR HENRY GILL? 436 00:15:39,106 --> 00:15:40,307 I SET LUNCH WITH HIM FOR NEXT FRIDAY. 437 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,708 - WELL, DAN SET DINNER FOR MONDAY. 438 00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,410 SO, SORRY. I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. 439 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:45,078 - OH, WAIT, I DO. 440 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,313 - WELL, IT'S ALL ACADEMIC, ANYWAY, 441 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:47,981 BECAUSE OUR OWN LITTLE MERCENARY, 442 00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:50,083 HELEN, HAS ALREADY GOT 60 POINTS. 443 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:52,285 - 60 POINTS? SHE'S BARELY LEFT THE BAR. 444 00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:55,122 - DOESN'T MATTER, KIDS, 'CAUSE YOU CAN CALL ME ISHMAEL, 445 00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:57,290 'CAUSE I JUST LANDED THE WHALE. 446 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:59,726 - SPOILER ALERT--MY BOOK CLUB IS READING THAT RIGHT NOW. 447 00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:00,994 - IT'S LEGIT. 448 00:16:01,028 --> 00:16:03,063 100 POINTS. - MAN! 449 00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,397 NO ONE'S BEEN ABLE TO TOUCH HIM. HOW DID YOU DO IT? 450 00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:05,732 - JUST BY BEING ME-- 451 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:07,400 A SIMPLE MAN WHO'S RECOILING 452 00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,736 AT THE VERY IDEA OF THIS WRETCHED, WRETCHED AFFAIR. 453 00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,205 - THAT'S AN ANGLE? - APPARENTLY IT IS. 454 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:14,074 ANYWAY, I'M A SOULLESS VULTURE. 455 00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:17,110 WHO CARES? MY KID'S GOIN' TO SPACE CAMP, BABY. 456 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,146 - VERY GOOD, ALEX, MY OLD KNOBBER. 457 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,514 NOW, BACK OUT THERE YOU GO AND GET ME MORE CLIENTS, 458 00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,450 WHETHER YOU HAVE TO LAY THEM OR FLAY THEM. 459 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,385 [laughs] 460 00:16:25,418 --> 00:16:29,322 - TERRIBLE TRAGEDY. REALLY, I'M SO, SO SORRY. 461 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:32,225 - YES, YOU KNOW, I UNDERSTAND. 462 00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:34,194 I WENT TO A FUNERAL THREE MONTHS AGO. 463 00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,728 - HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH IT? 464 00:16:35,762 --> 00:16:37,397 - WELL, I JUST FOUND IT VERY COMFORTING 465 00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:42,435 TO KNOW THAT PETE STILL LIVES ON IN OUR HEARTS AND IN HEAVEN. 466 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,271 - REALLY? 467 00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,340 YOU THINK THAT PETE IS UP IN THE CLOUDS 468 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:49,176 IN A LITTLE HOUSE MADE OF CLOUDS? 469 00:16:49,209 --> 00:16:51,178 - WHAT? WHERE DO YOU THINK HE IS? 470 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:53,213 - I DON'T KNOW-- GONE. 471 00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:54,781 I MEAN, HE WAS CREMATED. 472 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:56,783 WE SCATTERED HIM. HE'S ALL OVER THE PLACE. 473 00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,151 - FATHER? - YES. 474 00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,419 - FATHER, WILL YOU HELP EXPLAIN 475 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:01,121 WHAT WE BELIEVE HAPPENS TO YOU AFTER YOU DIE? 476 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,190 - OH, WELL, WE BELIEVE THAT WE GO TO HEAVEN. 477 00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:04,224 - IN A CLOUD HOUSE? 478 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,826 - YES! IT'S WHAT I FIND COMFORTING. 479 00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:08,428 WHY DID YOU EVEN ASK? 480 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,230 - I DON'T KNOW--I THOUGHT YOU'D SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT, 481 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:14,434 LIKE "USE ESSENTIAL OILS" OR "DANCE LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING." 482 00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,169 - NOW I'M UPSET. 483 00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:20,840 AND IF YOU REALLY THINK THAT PETE IS POOF, GONE, NOTHING, 484 00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:23,376 WHY SHOULD YOU EVEN BE RUBY'S GODMOTHER? 485 00:17:26,846 --> 00:17:28,381 - AMERICANS ARE SUCH HYPOCRITES. 486 00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:30,150 - [sobbing] 487 00:17:30,183 --> 00:17:32,085 - ALL THIS HEAVEN STUFF, YET THEY CLING TO LIFE 488 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,353 LIKE IT'S JUST ANOTHER POSSESSION. 489 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:34,554 - RIGHT? 490 00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:36,189 - "EVEN DEATH IS NOT TO BE FEARED 491 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:37,657 BY ONE WHO LIVES WISELY." 492 00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:39,292 THE BUDDHA. 493 00:17:39,326 --> 00:17:40,627 I'M A BUDDHIST. 494 00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,329 - "I'M NOT AFRAID OF DEATH. 495 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,197 I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE THERE WHEN IT HAPPENS." 496 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:47,500 WOODY ALLEN. I'M A HUMORIST. 497 00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,702 [chuckles] 498 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:51,271 ANYWAY... 499 00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,839 HEY, THERE'S THIS TIBETAN PLACE OVER ON HAWTHORNE. 500 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:53,840 YOU EVER TRIED IT? 501 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:55,342 - ALEX, THERE YOU ARE. 502 00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:57,110 I WAS THINKING I COULD USE THOSE BLAZERS TICKETS. 503 00:17:57,144 --> 00:17:58,178 - OH, RIGHT, YEAH. 504 00:17:58,211 --> 00:18:00,247 CAN YOU MAYBE GIVE ME A CALL A LITTLE BIT LATER? 505 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,749 - CALL YOU LATER? YOU SAID I COULD HAVE YOUR BLOOD. 506 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,451 - [laughs] HE'S--HE'S VERY UPSET. 507 00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,886 UM, NO, SERIOUSLY, L-LET'S JUST TALK LATER. 508 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,156 - THIS IS WHAT YOU MEAN BY DOING ANYTHING TO LAND A CLIENT? 509 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,791 I'LL TAKE MY BUBBLE BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. 510 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,426 - IS THIS WHAT YOU MEAN BY THE TRUTH? 511 00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:14,727 - WHAT? NO-- WELL, YES. 512 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,229 YES, IT'S THE TRUTH. 513 00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:17,864 I-I DID SAY I WAS A VULTURE. 514 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,199 - AND I JUST DIDN'T KNOW 515 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,600 THAT YOUR ANGLE WAS NOT HAVING AN ANGLE. 516 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:21,868 - NO, NO, NO. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. PLEASE, WAIT. 517 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:22,702 YOU WANT THE TRUTH? 518 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:25,138 OKAY, HERE IS THE TRUTH, ALL RIGHT? 519 00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:25,972 I CAN'T STAND DOING THIS. 520 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,106 I HATE IT, BUT I'M A SINGLE FATHER, 521 00:18:27,140 --> 00:18:29,809 AND I PROMISED MY KID THAT HE CAN GO TO SPACE CAMP. 522 00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,578 I CAN'T AFFORD THAT UNLESS I GET MY BONUS. 523 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,813 I'M NOT GONNA GET MY BONUS UNLESS I SIGN BIG CLIENTS, 524 00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:35,915 AND THAT--THAT'S YOU. 525 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:38,785 THAT IS WHY I'M HERE. THAT IS THE TRUTH. 526 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:41,288 - SPACE CAMP... 527 00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:44,624 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. YOU DISGUST ME. 528 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:50,330 OH, AND WOODY ALLEN HASN'T MADE A DECENT FILM SINCE INTERIORS. 529 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:55,535 - HEY, DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO 530 00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:58,871 THAN PERSPIRE TOO CLOSE TO ME? 531 00:18:58,905 --> 00:18:59,939 OH! 532 00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,641 AAH! OH. 533 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,276 GROSS! - OH! 534 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:06,413 [all gasp] AH. [groans] 535 00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:09,249 - WHAT WAS THAT? ONE THING CROSSED OFF YOUR LIST? 536 00:19:09,282 --> 00:19:11,284 - [straining] TWO. 537 00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,852 - JOLLY GOOD. - OH! 538 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,257 - [crying] OH. 539 00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:18,691 OOH. OH. 540 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,760 [sniffles] 541 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:23,596 - HOW'S IT GOIN' IN THERE? 542 00:19:23,630 --> 00:19:26,833 - SUPER. - UH-HUH. 543 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:31,238 I HATE TO ADD TO YOUR TROUBLES, 544 00:19:31,271 --> 00:19:33,273 BUT, UH, I THINK THAT THIS PHOTO BOOTH IS BROKEN. 545 00:19:33,306 --> 00:19:35,642 - [laughs] 546 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,943 - WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME 547 00:19:36,976 --> 00:19:38,945 THAT YOU WERE COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT? 548 00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,214 - I DIDN'T WANT TO DISTRACT YOU WITH MY SOB STORY. 549 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:42,582 YOU WERE BUSY WINNING SPACE CAMP. 550 00:19:42,615 --> 00:19:44,584 - OH, THAT'S VERY DECENT OF YOU. 551 00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:47,454 AND YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT IN HONOR OF THAT SACRIFICE, 552 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,522 I WENT AHEAD AND CAME IN DEAD LAST. 553 00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,224 - OH, GREAT. 554 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:53,926 WELL, THAT'S THE LAST TIME I MAKE ANY SACRIFICES FOR YOU. 555 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,862 WELL, YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL SO BAD. 556 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:59,299 I OFFENDED A PRIEST, AND I GOT FIRED FROM BEING A GODMOTHER. 557 00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:00,467 - NICE. - YEAH. 558 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:01,834 - THIS FUNERAL WAS A LOT LESS FUN 559 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,703 THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE. 560 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,004 - OH. [sniffles] 561 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:07,607 IF I DIE, I WANT YOU TO MAKE IT FUN. 562 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:08,941 I WANT THERE TO BE KARAOKE, 563 00:20:08,975 --> 00:20:11,411 A BARTENDER THAT POURS A DECENT DRINK, 564 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,945 AND JAVIER BARDEM JUMPIN' OUT OF THE CAKE. 565 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,315 - ASSUMING, OF COURSE, THAT I'M NOT AVAILABLE. 566 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:16,449 - [scoffs, chuckles] 567 00:20:16,483 --> 00:20:18,818 - ALL RIGHT, YOU WANT TO GO CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION 568 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,654 SOMEPLACE A LITTLE LESS, UH, DEATH-Y? 569 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,390 - UH... - MAYBE GET SOME PIE. 570 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:25,525 - [gasps] PIE. 571 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,760 - YEAH, COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 572 00:20:27,794 --> 00:20:29,329 - OKAY. 573 00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,532 - FATHER. HELLO. 574 00:20:32,565 --> 00:20:34,000 - OH! - [gasps] OH, MY GOD, FATHER. 575 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:37,604 - OH. OH! - I AM SO SORRY. 576 00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,610 - GOOD MORNING, MY DEAR GRAVE ROBBERS, 577 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:44,711 I KNOW YOU'RE ALL EAGER TO LEARN 578 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,012 THE OUTCOME OF OUR LITTLE ENDEAVOR, 579 00:20:46,045 --> 00:20:47,580 SO I WILL CUT RIGHT TO IT. 580 00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:48,881 - I'M GONNA BE FOUR GRAND RICHER. 581 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,983 I'M NOT GONNA BE BUYING DESIGNER BABY STUFF. 582 00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,519 I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. - THE WINNER... 583 00:20:52,552 --> 00:20:56,723 OVERWHELMINGLY, OF THE RENFREW CLIENT ROUNDUP WAS... 584 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,958 - COME ON! LET ME SEND BILLY TO SPACE. 585 00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:00,993 - ALEX, WITH 200 POINTS. 586 00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,630 - 200? THE THING ONLY WENT TO 100. 587 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:04,897 - AND HE DIDN'T EVEN LAND THE WHALE. 588 00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:06,399 - OH, HE LANDED SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER-- 589 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,867 GOD, HIMSELF, 590 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,670 IN THE FORM OF THE ARCHDIOCESE OF PORTLAND. 591 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:13,973 ALEX QUITE IMPRESSED THE GOOD FATHER. 592 00:21:14,006 --> 00:21:16,042 HELEN, SURPRISINGLY, LANDED SECOND PLACE. 593 00:21:16,075 --> 00:21:17,410 - BILLY GETS TO GO TO SPACE CAMP, 594 00:21:17,444 --> 00:21:18,778 AND I BARELY EVEN COMPROMISED-- 595 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:21,314 WELL, ACTUALLY, I COMPROMISED MY MORALS A GREAT DEAL. 596 00:21:21,348 --> 00:21:23,450 - WHO CAME IN THIRD? - YOU DID. 597 00:21:23,483 --> 00:21:25,985 - YES! MY CAR'S FILTHY. 598 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,020 - SO BE IT. 44543

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