Original subtitles

Good morning, Mr. Rock.

Good morning, Lawrence.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

I believe that's Audrey and Judy Jennings.

Of course.

Yes, Lorna, they have arrived at the conclusion that nobody ever takes a

girl seriously.

And what is their pen?

To show the world that they are more than just pretty faces.

Not to mention figures.

And there'll be no unexpected complications?

I didn't say that, Lawrence.

Their fantasy may well have all those elements so dear to your heart.

Perhaps even more.

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Wilson.

They don't seem like the happiest couple to arrive on Fantasy Island.

Yes, Lawrence.

Mrs. Wilson is worried because her husband has never been able to satisfy

ambition to be a dancing star, like his childhood idol, the great Bojangles. A

lofty ambition indeed.

And his fantasy, sir?

Mr. Wilson's fantasy is to make up for all the years of failure by dancing, not

like Bojangles, but actually performing with a great entertainer himself.

And why should such a fantasy distress Mrs.

Wilson? Because she fears her husband's fantasy will kill him.

And she may be right.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

And now, ladies, don't you think it's time to explain why you really came to

Fantasy Island?

Mr. Rourke, you know what we want? We want to be taken seriously.

But isn't what you really want a little more complicated than that?

Your true fantasy is not so much that the world take you seriously, but that

take yourselves seriously. To truly accept yourselves as competent people,

just... Pretty faces, isn't that it?

Look, nine out of ten men think that every woman with a nice face and a good

figure is just a bimbo.

And we're not bimbos.

Certainly not.

You'll never prove that with a feeble attempt to disguise yourselves with a

of glasses and a scarf.

Haven't you surrendered before the battle has even begun?

Huh?

Bravo, ladies.

If you've got it, flaunt it.

In the case of the Jennings sisters, you're absolutely right, Lawrence.

And now, ladies... Oh, don't bother unpacking. Put the bags in the car, will

you? Lawrence and I will pick you up in precisely 47 minutes.

And be prepared for a new adventure.

Mr. Wilson, Mrs. Wilson, it is obvious you two disagree over the

advisability of this fantasy, don't you?

Right.

Look, Mr. Rourke, Joey has a heart about as reliable as a kid sending home money

from college. Dory, I'm sure Mr. Rourke doesn't stay in business killing off his

customers, right? Right.

Excuse me, sir.

You've had opportunities, Mr. Wilson.

Dancing in a chorus line or in specialty acts is just as strenuous as dancing

alone. So, it hasn't been only your heart condition, has it?

I don't know what it's been, Mr. Rourke.

Luck, maybe.

Being in the right place at the right time.

Maybe just getting a break, you know what I mean?

I see.

Well, you are now on Fantasy Island, so you're in the right place.

Perhaps your fantasy itself will provide what you call luck.

Dory.

I want you with me.

That's got to be part of it, Mr. Rock.

In that case, will you be kind enough to step through that doorway?

Would that do?

Yes.

That's him.

That's him, Dory.

That's Bojangles.

That's it. That's it. Now, that's exactly what I want to happen. See?

Mr. Rock did it, Dory.

We're back when Bojangles was alive.

Thank you.

Oh.

This place is so beautiful, Mr. Rourke.

Yes. You will be staying at the North Shore Hotel, ladies, managed for me by

Rex Reinhardt.

Wait a minute.

You mean the Rex Reinhardt who used to play the jungle man character on TV when

we were kids?

Oh, yeah. People used to call him the bargain basement cowboy.

I suggest you forget that appellation, ladies.

Mr. Reinhardt is rather sensitive about it.

Well, it's good to see you again. Good to see you.

May I introduce Miss Audrey Jennings?

Well, how do you do?

And her sister, Miss Judy Jennings. How do you do?

Mr. Rex Reinhart.

Well, Mr. Rock, what have you brought me here, huh?

Two beautiful little fillies, huh?

Two very talented young ladies seeking new horizons and new opportunities.

Can you sing?

Uh -huh, one other thing.

Can you talk?

Oh, yes, when we have the chance.

Quite charmingly, I might add.

All right, Larry, right.

And how about you, honey?

Yes, I talk.

And I remember, too, like when I was a little girl and you were on TV and

used to call you... Yes, Miss Janice, yes.

And now, Mr. Reinhardt, as you can see, both ladies have voices.

Larry and I must return to our duties.

And I'll see to it that they don't give me any trouble.

And vice versa, Miss Ward.

Yeah, especially vice versa.

Come with me and I'll show you a bungalow. Okay.

Come on.

Only proud I have over my head And when I'm weary

Mother Nature makes me a big goat

No visitor, sorry.

Oh, you're Joe Wilson.

Yeah, that's me, but how did you know?

You're raging.

Some cat named Rock sent Bojangles your picture.

That's me.

You as good as this letter says you are?

He's better, mister.

That's what they all say, lady.

Hey, you guys take five, huh?

Marvel.

Yeah, yeah.

You got to be Joe Wilson, huh?

I know you, but I don't think I know who this pretty young lady is.

I'm Doris Wilson.

I come with him. We're a match pair, Mr.

and Mrs.

You, uh... You don't know what this means to me. I mean, actually...

Hey, if what I've heard from your press agent is true, you're going to be doing

a number with me in this motion picture that we're making.

I only ask one favor.

You be nice to an old man now.

Oh, I saw you out there. Are you kidding?

Let's see what the man can do.

Dean's believing, Bo.

Yeah, you're right about that, but we got time for that.

I want to steal your husband for a minute. I want you to meet some of the

musicians, some of the best in the world.

My husband is a nice man, and he's paid his dues. You know what I mean?

I paid my dues too, Mrs. Wilson.

20 years dancing in joints, washing dishes in between gigs.

Bojangles said this was going to be my big chance.

So he got this letter about your husband.

It'll help you understand.

Rex.

I just heard what happened.

Are you all right? Yes, I'm fine, Hawk. I'm fine, thanks.

This is my pal, Hawkins.

He's head of security around here.

This is Audrey and Judy, the Jennings sisters.

Hi. They're going to be putting on a show for us tonight.

I want to check into this, so we've got to talk.

Well, later on will be soon enough.

Old Hawk here and myself, we go back many years.

He was my stunt double for me on my show.

I couldn't get along without him.

York. Taste is certainly improving, Mr. Reinhardt. Mrs. Jennings, sisters.

Mr. Childress. Why don't you both call me Charles?

Charles Childress, the author?

Yes. You were who chained lightning, didn't you?

Guilty.

I've read every one of your books.

Well, ladies, you're wasting your time. You're discussing literature with the

present company. I suspect the last thing Mr. Reinhardt ever read was a

biography.

Bargain basement cowboy, a tragedy.

That's a cheap shot.

It was a hatchet job of a book, and I don't like to be reminded of it.

Ah, yes, I know. I know.

Till later, ladies.

That man's got a hate going for me, and I don't know why.

Good, gentlemen. Thank you very much.

Well, Joe, if you're ready, come on up here and show me what you can do.

Yeah, sure.

Okay, Beth.

You just let it all go this time.

You can do it. All

right,

now, you know the guys, and the guys know you.

Have fun.

I'll be over here watching.

Okay, let's have it right in here.

Relax.

We're having fun.

One, two, one, two, three, four.

I don't feel so good, you know?

Maybe I better get some air.

Let him go.

He looks sick. He looks real sick. Maybe he needs a doctor.

No doctor can cure Joe's problem, Bo.

But thanks for caring.

What are you thinking?

Mr. Rourke said that he understood what we really wanted.

Yeah, to take ourselves seriously so that other people would too.

And then he said to be ready for an adventure.

And Rex got shot at.

And Mr. Childress made all those cruel remarks about him. Yeah, and what about

Hawkins, the old stunt double pal?

I don't trust him.

No, me neither.

Where was he when that gun went off?

And if we are serious, and this is...

The adventure he meant.

Well, then you and I both know the easiest way for us to do a little

Yeah, by being bimbos.

You got it.

You all right?

I've been looking an hour for you.

I'm sorry, hon. I had to be by myself.

Look, Dory, about what happened back there... Just what did happen, Mr.

Mr. Rourke! Oh, Mr. Rourke. Am I glad to see you.

Apparently, you've had some problem with your fantasy?

It's not going to work.

Oh? No.

Look, the heck with the rest of the fantasy.

I met Bojangles.

Oh, that's more than I could have ever hoped for.

But that's good enough.

Is it? Ah.

How do you feel about that, Mrs. Wilson? After all, you were against your

husband's fantasy from the beginning.

Leaving things as they are, is that good enough for you, too?

No.

It isn't.

Sorry.

I mean, you were the one that was worried about me having another heart

I almost did.

Well, you were there.

It wasn't your heart giving out back there on that stage, Joe.

It was your guts.

That's what it's always been.

What your wife is trying to tell you, Mr. Wilson, is that if you die, it won't

be your heart that kills you.

It will be your fear.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Jog. Two, three, four, five, six, seven. And work.

All right.

Do it again. Pretty good.

So, are you here to research a book, Mr. Childress? Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Why don't you call me Charles?

I'm here on vacation and hoping to get away from it for a little while.

Hoping to meet someone like you.

I have to tell you, this is so exciting for me.

I once read an interview with you where you said your first novel was your

favorite one.

Well, it was my favorite, too.

Well, we seem to have an awful lot in common, don't we?

There's something that I've always wanted to ask you, Charles.

And now I can.

I never did understand why Lucy refused to marry Rinaldo at the end of the book.

What was her motivation?

Well, actually, I read that book a long time ago, and I may have told an

interviewer that it was my favorite, but actually, I can't remember it all that

well.

You can't remember why Lucy said no?

Surely I'll tell you later, but now, shall we talk about you?

You're good, Judy.

Well, thank you. You're pretty good yourself.

Did you used to be an actor, too? No, I just did stunts. I stood in for Rex.

I bet he wishes you were still standing in when whoever it was took that shot at

him. No way, Judy Gale.

I couldn't afford to lose the old boy here.

He holds his place together.

Hi. Well, you're the hit of this sale, Bojangles.

Oh, you mean all the people just applauding and recognizing me and

You think I'm like that?

Well, don't you?

You damn well right I do.

Let me tell you something, Joe. For a man that didn't have two nickels to rub

together for most of his life, you know, well, it's like throwing the rabbit in

the briar patch.

Come on. What do you want to drink?

What do you have?

Oh, I pass, man. I can't drink that stuff. The fire starts down here

But that doesn't stop my friends from. I'd love to watch you drink.

Well, I'd like some wine.

Well, make it two.

Here you go.

Now, man, get me a big bottle of champagne and bring it for my friends.

You know, I like you young guys. I really do.

And I'm going to tell you something.

Well, we're listening.

Well, when I finish the movie I'm making now, I'm going to hang it up. Hang up

the dancing shoes.

You mean you're retired?

Yeah.

It's too much, man. You know, sweating all the time and my hands shaking, juice

running out of my knees, you know.

You can't quit over that.

You're not just some guy who dances, bro. I mean, you're the living hope

for all the skinny little kids with big dreams. You know, guys dancing on street

corners, wearing sneakers, and using bottle cap tops for taps, you know?

What you're saying, then, is that I'm giving up on myself?

That I'm quitting?

I don't know what else to say.

Pardon my laughing. It's just giving up on yourself and quitting.

Isn't that what you did this afternoon?

You got an answer for him, Joe?

No man could make me feel more like an angel

than to feel you beside me these days.

I love heaven.

Heartbeat away.

Heaven.

Heartbeat, the heartbeat.

Heaven. Love the heartbeat away.

Your love makes my heart.

You certainly have a winner, Reinhardt.

For a change.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

If anything, too good.

What is that supposed to mean?

I mean, they could be playing top club anywhere.

Reno, Las Vegas.

I wonder what they're doing here.

I'd feed away heaven if I feed the heart to heaven.

I'd feed away your love, make my heart to...

fun tonight, wasn't it? Yeah, they were great, Audrey.

I'm a little tired, but you know... Well,

I know I loved it.

Sure, Audrey.

Well, I'm glad I don't have any jewelry left, do you?

Wait!

Make it swing.

You give him the tempo.

Okay, fellas.

Let's take it up about here.

I just can't do it.

I'm telling you, we were shot at.

I don't understand it. First me, and then these two little fillies. It's too

dangerous for you to stay here.

It would seem that you ladies do need protection.

Perhaps it would be best for you to come back with us.

Absolutely. Not.

What? We don't need to be bailed out of this. We can handle it ourselves.

I agree.

We can handle it.

There are a couple of other things that happened that are strange, too.

Yes, that's right. My gold watch was stolen and my diamond ring last night.

You know what that's worth? A half a million.

Dollars? Well, that's what the elegant said when I won it from him.

If there are any further problems, I'm afraid I have to take action from my

Mr. Reinhardt.

No, that's not going to be necessary, Mr. Rock.

Old Hawk here, he can handle it. And so can we.

Very well.

Look, Rex, we can handle it and we can help.

I mean, really, Charles Childress doesn't know the first thing about his

selling book.

He's a phony. A phony who hates your guts.

I think you girls might have something on this Childress character.

I want to check him out.

You know, there's a lot more to you gals than meets the eye.

They're not saying something.

Look, Art.

We have one solid fact to go on. He didn't write those books, so he isn't

Childress. So who is he?

Hey, you think you can keep Childress busy while I get into his room?

Do bees like honey?

Thank you.

Charles, I really would like for you to see my new number.

I mean, that way I could... get an expert opinion on it, and I'd know if I

right about it.

Da -da -da -da.

Da -da -da -da.

Da -da -da -da.

Dun -da -dun, da -da -da -dun.

So that's what he's up to.

Come on now, darling.

My room is far better than this for what we should be doing now.

What should we be doing, Mr. Childress?

You've got to be kidding.

Mr. Childress with the biggest come -on since Cleopatra?

You mean you like my number?

What the hell is going on?

What are you really up to?

I guess I owe you some kind of explanation, right?

Yeah.

I'd say you do.

I don't know what to say, man.

Then let me say it for you.

Joe, it's not just being scared.

I mean, you're feeling sorry for yourself.

Well, maybe I've got my reasons.

Like what?

Well, like, uh, no breaks, huh?

And then there's the old, uh... Oh, yeah, yeah, the heart attack.

And that gives you a chance to build it up and keep building it up until you

really don't know whether you're any good or not, right?

You've been talking with Doris, right?

Mm -hmm.

It's damn easy for you to say, though, Bill.

I mean, you don't know what it's like wondering if you're gonna drop dead the

next man or not, hmm?

Now, you listen to me.

Maybe I'd love wondering about it.

What are you talking about?

Well, uh, you remember last night when I told you about the... the fire

down here?

Lots of people have ulcers.

I'm afraid it's a little bigger than ulcers.

Yeah. It's big, it's mean, and it's... something that no doctor can do anything

about.

And it's gonna get me.

Next week.

Next month.

Meanwhile, it's down there, and it's growing.

Getting bigger.

And, um...

Just by next time.

I... I don't know what to say.

Point is, I can't let it get me down.

I mean those kids.

The people that you told me about.

I can't... I can't quit on them.

I can't quit on me.

No matter how much I want to feel sorry for myself, I can't do it.

And I don't think you can either.

Can you?

No.

No, Bill.

I didn't think you could.

Now, come on. We'll go back there and we'll do it again.

And we're going to lay down some kind of iron. Come on.

Judy! Judy, are you in there?

Valerie, come on in.

Hi. What made you think that Judy was here?

Well, she was with children just a little while ago, and... I know when

somebody's calling me, which I want you as a witness.

I told you.

What is this?

Park.

I'm doing my job, Rex. You know this guy's passport?

It says he's Eddie C.

Bass. Now, does that sound familiar?

Who's Edward C. Bass?

Why, honey, he's the dirty rat who wrote that lousy story about me that almost

drove me out of the business.

Take it easy, Rex.

Oh, boy, did that feel good.

Hey, where's Judy?

I'm right here, Mr.

Reinhardt.

Why, you two are the damnedest team of gals I've ever seen.

Listen, Hawk, you ought to use these two.

These are great little fillies. They make great detectives.

I don't get it.

Mr. Hawkins knows I was in the closet when he came in.

I saw everything.

Like what?

Like him planting Rex's gold watch in Mr. Childress's coat pocket. Hawk,

this all about?

It's fade -out time, Rex, for you.

And you, too. I'm sorry.

Both of you.

Why?

I got a letter last week from an old friend.

The producer of your show.

He said he couldn't live with himself anymore because how you lied when we

up for the same role in that series.

Wrong. No, no. He didn't tell you the truth.

He told me the truth. He told me that you didn't have the star quality or

whatever it was he was looking for.

Well, it doesn't matter really anyway.

I have the diamond ring. It's worth a half a million dollars.

And I have my own patsy lying right there on the ground.

Look, Mr. Hawkins.

You haven't committed any crime yet.

Mr. Reinhart will give you that ring, won't you?

Yes, I will, Harker. No strings attached.

That sounds like a bargain you couldn't pass up.

It's a nice try, honey, and you too. Audrey, now.

you two get here? Just in time for me to eat my earlier words. I would say those

two gentlemen take you both very seriously indeed.

And now, do you?

Mister, from now on, everyone's going to take the Jennings sisters seriously.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No.

It's okay, honey.

It's okay.

Now you just get out there.

Do what you got to do, okay?

Okay.

Gentlemen.

It's going to be alright.

It's going to be alright.

Yeah.

Home, where we belong, huh?

Get on up on that stage, Harry.

Come on, man, this is going to be your big break after all.

Joe, what did I tell Bojangles?

Well, tell him that you're good.

And then, uh... Show him, kid.

I can't believe it.

Will you tell me what's going on? Well, I did it.

Baby, I did it.

Thanks to you. Thanks to you. You are so beautiful.

And thanks to Bojangles. And thanks to Mr. Rock.

No more feeling sorry for myself.

No more. No, I did it.

I know I could do it. I knew I could dance back there. But that's another

another place.

Right now.

Right now, I'm just glad to be here with you.

Mr.

Wilson.

I'm sorry, but your fantasy's over.

Yeah, I know.

How about a little traveling music, Mr.

Rock?

How did I do, Mr. Rock?

Just fine, Bojangles.

And thanks to you, Mr. and Mrs. Joe Wilson are going to be just fine, too.

That's good.

I'm never going to finish this motion picture.

But then you know that, don't you, Mr. Rock?

Yes, I know.

I'm sorry.

Well, I've got no regrets.

Do what you gotta do.

It's said a man has already achieved immortality if he's remembered and loved

years after his death.

I congratulate you.

Thank you, Mr. Locke.

Take care.

You too, Bojangles.

The sky is the only roof

I have over my head.

And when I'm weary, Mother Nature

Makes me a bed.

Mr. Rourke, Lawrence, you're the first to know.

Joe's going to open a dance studio.

Congratulations, Mr. Wilson. Yes, a splendid idea. You'll make a fine

Yeah, well, I'd like to pass on some of the things that Bojangles taught me, you

know. Not just about dancing, either.

He would have liked that very much, Mr. Wilson.

Well, thank you. Thank you very much. You're very welcome. Lawrence. Goodbye,

Mr. Wilson.

Goodbye, ma 'am. Goodbye, sir.

I still say you were taking a bit of a risk, sir, letting him dance with his

condition.

Sometimes, Lawrence, taking a chance is the safest thing you can do.

If you know what I mean.

I presume you're looking for the Jennings sisters?

As a matter of fact, I was. Well, they're not going back to the mainland.

You see, they found just the place to accomplish what they want in life,

together. To work at something and be taken seriously.

In the bargain basement cowboys employ, sir? Exactly. They decided to invest

with Cowboy Rex in a resort of their very own.

And I suppose they'll be in charge of security as well as entertainment.

How did you guess?

I knew you'd be so happy for them, Lawrence.