Original subtitles

Good morning, Rock.

Good morning, Lawrence.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

Mr. Mickey must.

Now, there's the gentleman who needs no introduction. Yes, his comedy show was

rated number one for many, many years.

I can't say I've seen much of him lately, however.

Well, in the entertainment business, Lawrence One rarely stays on top

indefinitely. Sad, but true.

And now he plans to officially retire.

Mr. Masterson's fantasy is to do one last show and go out, as they say, with

bang. Sound simple enough?

Ah. But you see, this show is to reunite him with two former colleagues who

meant the most to his career.

I seem to detect a slight problem.

Quite possibly.

They are two people who haven't laid eyes on him in years, each for a very

special reason.

What a determined -looking child.

Surely she's not here for a fantasy.

But that's precisely what she's here for, Lawrence.

At her tender age, really, sir?

Unfortunately, tragedy doesn't respect age, tender or otherwise. You see, Miss

Laurie Shannon lost both her parents in an accident just two months ago.

Poor child.

What are we going to do about it, sir?

Grant her fantasy, of course.

Which is?

To find God.

and ask him face to face how he could do such a thing.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Well, Laurie, is your bungalow comfortable?

Anything you want or need?

It's very nice, Mr. Rourke. Thank you.

But all I want is my fantasy.

Yes.

To find God.

Are you sure you'll recognize him if you were to meet him?

I hope so.

In any way, you did tell my guardians I could have my fantasy.

Right?

Yes, I did.

So I think I already know who he is.

Why did you kill my mother and father?

Oh, I'm not what you're searching for, Laurie.

But look at you. You're all dressed in white.

You have a sword shining all around you.

And you make people's fantasies come true.

I am very fortunate that I can sometimes bring happiness to others, yes.

But what you're looking for, Laurie, is different.

He is everywhere and nowhere and very, very difficult to find.

You'll have to keep looking.

It won't be this easy, you understand.

You'll find what you seek, though, when and where you least expect it.

But I promise you this, you'll know when you do find him.

Then I guess I'd better get started.

Outrageous.

Outrageous. That means he loves her, Lawrence.

Oh, may I freshen your drink, Mr. Masterson? Oh, thank you very, very

The climate does make you thirsty.

But keep it virgin. I'm not too big on the sauce when I'm working. Yes, sir.

Mr. Rock, it seems like I'm always working.

I'm not ashamed to say it.

Audiences cannot get enough of me. Of course, Vegas is no picnic, mind you.

it's not anything like the crazy pace of television.

That's why I finally turned my back on television.

Now, sir.

Vegas.

Oh, boy.

I love Vegas.

How they love me in Vegas.

What a night. What a night.

As I look into your faces, and some of your faces need looking into.

Yeah. I feel great. I really do. You know, I love Las Vegas because...

Yeah.

How they love me.

Isn't it? Difficult to retire from such adoration?

Oh, maybe, but I say a man should quit when he's on top.

That's what I believe. Your drinks, sir.

Virgin. Thank you very much.

Martha and Walter arrived, didn't they?

Oh, to be sure.

Bringing Miss Harley and Mr. Dunlop to Fantasy Island wasn't difficult.

However, I can in no way make decisions for them. There remains the possibility

they may not wish to do the show.

No chance.

Oh, I admit they might not enjoy the idea at first.

But when that curtain goes up, they'll be right there beside me.

We were a team he just couldn't beat.

Oh, I remember well.

In fact, it does seem a shame that you ever broke up in the first place.

Well, it was the pressure I was talking about.

Martha and Walter understood how it was, you know what I mean?

But even if they're holding a little grudge because I stayed on top and they

didn't, don't worry, I'll square it with them.

Mr. Rock.

Don't you worry about a thing. This is going to be great.

Absolutely outrageous.

This is my place. Get out.

Are you God?

Yes, I am.

This place doesn't look much like heaven.

All these cactuses and sharp -pointed things.

I made it that way to keep funny -faced people like you out. Now, get.

I came to ask you a question.

People don't ask God questions.

Didn't your folks teach you anything at all?

They taught me lots of things. You killed him in that accident.

That's what I've come to ask you. Why did you do it?

Uh, I... I don't allow that kind of question.

Well, I'm not leaving until you answer it.

Look, kid, what you're asking is an easy answer, not even for me.

You're God.

You know why you did it.

Well, sure, I do.

But it takes a lot of thinking on my part to answer so that you will

what I'm saying.

You know what I mean?

No.

I do things differently than ordinary mortals like you for different reasons.

I'll tell you what.

You go away and you come back this afternoon and by that time I'll have

out how to explain it to you, okay?

I don't know why you can't explain it to me now.

Blasted kid, will you stop arguing with God?

Now, now, get out of here before I change my mind.

Okay, but you better be here.

Oh, you've got a colossal nerve.

Inviting me to your bungalow to ask me to do a show with you? You hate me that

much? Every time I think about...

What happened between us?

It hurts.

Martha, you ever think about the good times at all?

Now and then.

Well, I do, too. A lot.

Come on, sweet pea. I didn't know until right now how badly I missed you.

I bet.

Tell me one reason why I should do your show.

Money?

I don't need your money.

I am doing just fine.

I have my other work.

I sell things.

You mean like commercials?

Yeah, commercials.

People come up to me, want to talk about the old days, ask for my autograph,

talk about all the shows I've... Darling.

Wouldn't you just love to try our brand new tasty younger spread?

It's a treat.

I promise.

So, nobody can say I'm not appreciated.

Will you just listen, please?

I know how bad I hurt you, sweet pea, but maybe what you don't know is that I

hurt me, too.

There were things that I could have said to make it easier for you, but I didn't

know the words.

Didn't know them.

I guess I still don't.

Anyway, Martha, I need you.

I'm talking about one last show and about how deeply grateful I'd be if you

would do it with me.

Damn you!

Of course I'll do your lousy show.

for you. Well, Lord, I was getting worried. I was just about to send out a

search party for you. I think I found him. Maybe.

You mean, uh... God, of course.

It's not exactly what I expected.

Sort of scruffy, you know. Uh, scruffy, you say?

Yeah. And he said he'd answer my question this afternoon.

Oh, did he?

Excellent.

Well, there is no reason you shouldn't enjoy yourself in the meantime.

I guess not.

So why don't you go to the house and tell Lawrence I said to give you

you want, huh?

All right. Thank you.

Mr. Rourke. Mr.

Adam Cobb. I rather expected a visit from you. I'll bet you did, the way you

messed up my fantasy, letting that little kid violate my privacy.

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Cobb.

I was to be left strictly alone for the whole weekend. But, Laurie, it's only a

child. Surely the few moments of your time she took can't possibly... It's not

just the time. Things got involved. I had to stall her off, but she's coming

back to pester me again. Well, the role you so humbly undertook does have a

certain universal attraction, doesn't it?

That's neither here nor there. It was her idea. She sort of forced it on me.

I understand.

And you certainly do have the right to your privacy, of course.

After all, in time, Laurie will get over her tragic loss.

And she does have the benefits of her family fortune to assure her future

happiness.

Family fortune?

Family fortune? Yes, poor little rich girl. The only heir to all that

responsibility. Imagine.

Yeah, poor little kid.

But don't worry, Mr. Cobb. I'll see to it she doesn't bother you again.

Mr. Rock.

We can't be selfish about this, uh, poor little girl.

Yes. I'll think up an answer to her question. Don't you worry. I'll be

right there for her.

Uh, you just stay out of it, okay?

If that's the way you want it, Mr. Cobb. Of course.

How did your meeting go with Holly?

Oh, fine, great.

She absolutely jumped at the chance.

Had to beat her off me with a stick.

How wonderful.

I must admit I did have certain doubts.

I knew all along there was nothing to worry about. Well, I hope things go as

well with your friend, Mr. Dunlop.

I didn't even know he was here.

Oh? You mean Walter? Don't worry. Why should he be different?

I'll get him in the show.

Watch this.

Mickey? No, Irving. Of course it's Mickey.

Walter, you old tiger. You look terrific.

In a while, huh?

You know what I'm thinking of? Huh?

1943. The thing we did.

Yeah. You're the sergeant and you say... I said...

Stand at attention, soldier.

And I said, I am at attention, sir.

It's my uniform that's at ease.

You look great.

Really, you look in the pink.

Yeah, you do, too. Thank you. I mean, not a day older.

Ten years older.

But not a day. You're still doing shtick, huh?

You know, you look ready for opening night. Oh, that's because I keep busy.

As a matter of fact, this is the first time in years that I have taken time off

to play a little.

Time off from what, pal?

Work. Of course, it's not the real big time, but I love it. I don't know how to

tell you this, but I'm doing one last show Saturday, and then I'm hanging it

You know, I'd love for you to do the show with me, the last one for the road.

How about it?

Gee, I don't know, Mickey.

Office agreed to be in it. She did.

When's rehearsal?

3 p .m.

Fantasy Island Theater.

You got a deal. You got a deal.

Outrageous.

Outrageous.

Here, baby.

Piece of cake.

Some guys just beg for the sky to fall in on them. Right, Mr. Rock?

You mean Mr. Masterson? You got it.

I'm going to bury that bum.

Give me a double burden.

Well, Miss Laurie, what's it going to be?

The amusement park?

With all sorts of exciting rides?

Or if you prefer, there's horseback riding?

There's swimming, there's boating.

How about the ice cream parlor? Forty flavors.

Or the game room with all those pack people. I knew I could depend on you,

Lawrence. What, sir?

For finding the perfect entertainment for Laurie.

A puppy, of course.

A puppy?

Oh, that puppy.

Ah, the child's special gift, Lawrence.

To love God's creations above all of man's inventions.

With all fantasy island at her feet, her idea of fun is to have something to

love. And to have something love her.

Structural.

Oh, personal.

Wait a minute.

This is ridiculous.

We need Walter.

Of course.

Where's Walter?

He's here. That's where.

Walter, baby, you're late.

Yeah, Walter's always late, remember?

Are you ready to work or not?

Say the word, old monster.

All right, get up here on the stage. Here's what we're going to do.

We'll open up with the stand -up routine in front of the curtain, and then pow,

a big song and dance number for the finish of the act. You understand?

Let's line up. Would you just back up?

I'm going to count off. I want to see if you remember.

I'll count off. It's four and a bar.

Five, six, seven, eight.

He

used

to say I was upstaging you. It drove you up the wall. Look at this one.

Look familiar, huh?

Do you want to tell me what this is all about?

Sure, pal.

Sure.

It's about loyalty, friendship, professional respect, none of which you

damn thing about.

What are you trying to say?

First you dump Martha, then you dump me.

All out of your greedy need to hog the spotlight.

That's not true.

Well, I guess you know where...

Where you ended up without us, huh? In the dumper.

That's where.

And that's where you are now.

Do you think I don't read the papers?

Walter, maybe you shouldn't. I wouldn't set foot on the stage with this creep

after what he did to me and my life and yours.

See this little lady, pal?

She worshipped you.

You!

And there I was, so much in love with her, I could live for days on a look.

A smile.

Walter, you never said a word.

Well, I'm saying it now.

Let me tell you something.

I would have settled for one percent of what she felt for you, and you just

threw her away.

I had no idea you felt that way.

What do you say, Martha?

You're going to stop being used as a doormat by this...

How about it, Martha?

I'm... I'm sorry, Mickey.

I... I wish I didn't believe it, but... Walter's right.

Hey.

Good luck on your big show, old buddy.

You got the spotlight all to yourself.

Just like you love it.

So, little girl, you came back.

Of course, you told me to.

Yeah.

You don't think much of this place, do you?

It's weird.

Well, it suited my mood when I created it.

I may leave it for Rourke to show people when I move on.

You know, I wouldn't mind hanging around Earth for a year or two if I found

somebody I liked good enough to stay with.

You could stay with me.

You wouldn't kid God, would you?

Not if you answer my question.

And it makes me understand.

You mean about the accident and your parents?

Well, I've been thinking a lot about that, like I promised, and I'll figure a

way to explain it to you, but... But what?

Well, human beings don't understand death very well, because they're not

supposed to. And I'd like to do you a favor, but it's breaking the rules, so

may take me a year or two for me to

figure out how to do it.

Mr. Warwick, so my fantasy would come true.

So I sort of believed you when you said you were God.

You say I wasn't?

No, but you don't act like God.

You don't look like any painting I ever saw of him.

Well, of course not. No artist ever made it to heaven to see what I look like.

And who says that God can't look like everybody else anyway? He, uh, I mean, I

made man according to his own image.

Like the good book says.

Remember? I remember, but you have to prove you're really God.

Come on, kid.

There's no way to do that.

Yes, there is.

Disappear. What?

I saw it in a movie once. If you're really God, you can disappear to prove

So disappear.

Maybe I don't feel like it.

Who are you to tell God what to do anyway?

You won't disappear because you can't. You're not God. You're not God at all.

Mr. Masterson?

Oh, hello, Mr. Rock.

Hello. How is the show coming along?

I'm just mulling over my act. I'm glad you're going ahead with your plans,

despite your little difficulties.

Oh?

You heard what happened?

I make it my business to know what happens on Fantasy Island, Mr.

Of course.

Well, it's going to be the best show I can manage to do.

A very admirable attitude indeed.

Let me level with you, Mr. Rock.

I'm scared.

I'm scared of going up on that stage all along.

Because my career's been going downhill for years.

And I was really good.

Once. You were the very best, Mr. Masterson.

Thank you.

You see, I figured with Martha and Walter with me, like old times, things

come back together for all of us.

But they both believe certain things about me that are just not so.

And I never had the guts to tell them the truth.

Perhaps now you will.

Perhaps what really matters is that you make peace with the past before you

leave it behind for good.

You know?

Laurie, you're not thinking of leaving now.

Surely you can wait until the regular flight leaves tomorrow, can't you?

What's the use? I'm not going to find God.

Really, sir, that old reprobate passing himself off as a deity?

Insufferable. Perhaps, Lawrence.

Now, why don't you take Miss Laurie's bag to the plane dock?

You still insist on leaving?

I told you what you were looking for was very difficult to find, remember?

I also said you'd find it when and where you least expect it. But all I found

was an old phony.

Sit down, Laurie.

Sit down.

Try to understand.

All that lies behind us and all that lies ahead of us in this life is nothing

compared to what lies within us now.

Like what?

Like love, compassion...

Understanding, forgiveness.

You mean forgive and understand that old man?

That old man, Mr. Adam Cobb, a long time ago was a very famous circus clown. Did

you know that?

Oh, yes. And many, many years ago, he also had a beautiful wife and a daughter

just about your age.

I don't want to hear about him. He lied to me. Yes, he did.

All these years, he's lied to a lot of people, but most of all to himself.

How could he do that?

Let me explain.

There was a fire in the big tent one night, and his wife was burned to death.

After that, Mr. Adam Cobb's life became a series of lies.

First, that he couldn't raise a daughter alone, so he had her adopted.

Then, that life wasn't worth living anymore, so he tried to drink himself to

death, and he's still trying.

And finally, that he was beyond loving or being loved ever again.

I'm sorry all that happened, Mr. Rourke.

It must be terrible to feel like he does.

Yes, terrible, terrible.

He does need help, doesn't he? Indeed.

From someone who can understand and forgive,

perhaps.

All right, I'll try.

But it won't be easy.

Oh, hello, kid.

Where are you going?

Well, I got this big job offer.

They need us.

Supervisor for the next Skylab in there.

Do you know every time you tell a lie, your eye twitches?

What?

It twitches.

Why don't you get lost?

I guess because I'm not afraid of you anymore. That doesn't mean you can

me.

It's doing it again. Never mind my blasted eye.

Look, about what I told you before, I didn't mean that I was...

Exactly, God.

Well, I've been thinking about that.

And what I think now is maybe God isn't just one person after all.

Maybe God is a little bit in every person.

Even you.

Yeah, well, that's what I meant when I said not exactly.

You're really something else.

Wow.

Now aren't you glad you didn't leave?

I guess I am.

This view may be the closest thing to heaven I ever get.

Not if you don't want it to be.

What do you know? You're just a kid.

Oh.

That's the trouble with being young.

No one ever thinks what you say is important.

Oh, forget I said that.

Get right down to it.

Maybe the only thing worse than being young like you is being old like me. How

old are you, Mr. Cobb?

Well, I'm old enough that nobody alive remembers me as a kid your age.

Not even me, Laurie.

You see, a man forgets.

Only a woman remembers things like that.

Bourbon soda.

Well, well, well.

The great Mickey. And drinking.

It's not even dark yet. Oh, how you used to lecture sinners about that.

There's nothing in it, Walter.

Virgin. Hey, you gonna wow him up there tonight all by your lonesome? Listen,

I'd hang around and watch the show, but I haven't got the heart to watch you

suffer that way.

Drink, sir.

Yeah, your drink.

Walter mustn't go even ten minutes without his drink. What the hell are you

saying? Why do you think I fired you? Because you were jealous of every laugh

ever got.

Are you that far gone?

It never sunk in that you couldn't remember half the routines.

Your own doctor came to me and said that if you tried keeping up this pace, in

your condition, you'd kill yourself.

Here's your booze.

I swear you should have poured it.

On the outside.

Mr.

Cobb, maybe, like you said before,

you wouldn't mind hanging around a year or two?

You found somebody you liked enough?

Oh, I think you can forget I did that, too.

Well, I'd like it if you stayed with me.

I live with my aunt in a house so big.

I don't even know how many rooms there are.

Please?

Hey, you said you wouldn't kid God, remember?

I'm not kidding.

All right, I'll... I'll think about it.

Come on, let's go.

I'm not exactly sure why you're so perturbed, Mr. Cobb.

Mr. Roark...

She really wants me to come and live with her. Well, I should think that

make you feel quite good.

Most of my life I've lived by hook or by crook. Mostly crook, if you get what I

mean. If I ever had a conscience, I sunk it under a whole ocean of self -pity a

long time ago. And now... And now, Miss Laurie Shannon has, shall we say,

rescued you from that ocean?

That's about the size of it.

She's made me think about things that I haven't thought about for a long, long

time.

I'm going to see her tonight, and she's going to want an answer.

I'm afraid it's a decision you'll have to make for yourself, Mr. Carlton.

Could she really pull it off, make it stick with her guardians and all that?

With my recommendation, it's possible, yes.

I hope I do the right thing for once.

Oh, I think you will, Mr. Carlton.

I'm sure you will.

Martha. Walter, what are you doing here?

I was looking for you.

Why?

Well, I was just lonesome for a friendly face, old familiar surroundings.

I know what you mean.

So many memories come back, you know?

Yeah, a lot of mine I wish I could forget.

Walter, I wish it had been you. I really do.

Funny how we fall for the wrong people.

Yeah, life plays its little jokes, doesn't it?

Let's get out of here. Let's go.

Hey, what's that?

Oh, that's pretty. Let's check it out.

Oh, it's Mr. Rourke. What are you doing here?

Oh, sometimes I find it relaxing to sit at a piano and play.

And think about things.

And remember.

Yeah, we know about that.

Yes.

Things like how sad it is that you and Mr.

Masterson, with such a rich past together, can part with no memories to

Tough. That's the way she goes.

I wish there was a different way, but there isn't.

It's sad.

To have had such a rich life together and not want to remember what

awaited.

Try to remember when life was so tender that no one wept

except the willow.

Try to remember when life was so tender that dreams were kept beside

your pillow.

Try to remember when life was so tender that love was an ember about

to billow.

Try to remember, and if you remember, then follow.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember.

Although you know the snow will follow.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember. Without a hurt,

the heart is hollow.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember.

The fire of September that made us mellow.

Deep in December, our hearts should remember and follow.

Very much related. Would you do me a favor? Would you please put up all the

lights in the room?

Thank you. And would you take off the spotlight, please?

I think most of you do know this is

Mickey Masterson's farewell performance.

Although I imagine many of you thought that I already did that when my...

TV show was canceled.

Those were the most wonderful years of my life.

It was a time I'm mostly proud of.

Mostly.

Not all.

There were two people just as responsible as me for making those great

count.

Sometimes I...

I don't know how to say this, but I didn't do right by them.

Two people especially who I hoped would be with me tonight, the names of Martha

Holly and Walter Dunlap.

Although they didn't know it, they were my family.

And I loved them both.

And I still love them.

Hold it! Hold it!

Martha, you're not going to take all this sweet talk lying down, are you? No

way. Listen, don't try to cut us out, pal. We're one big happy family again.

Ladies and

gentlemen, you may remember

how we open our act. Well, here we are again.

One more time.

Oh, we ain't got a barrel of money.

Maybe we're ragged and funny.

But we'll travel along singing a song side by side.

When's the last time you had a milkshake?

Is that what this is?

It's good for you.

God forbid.

Whoever he is.

Have you thought about what I said earlier?

About living with me?

Yes, I have.

But there's a few things I'd like to say first, okay?

You asked me a very important question this morning, Laurie, about the accident

and your folks.

I'd like to try and answer it.

All right.

Despite people like me, people messing up their own lives and other people's

too, I think God knows what he's doing.

But every once in a while, he needs good people, like your mom and dad, to help

him out with all the work he's got to do up there in heaven.

So he takes them away?

That's all he can do.

He knows it's tough on kids like you.

But he also knows that you're strong enough to keep going, do all the good

can to help him out here on Earth.

Still doesn't seem fair.

I know.

I think he knows it, too.

And he hopes you'll understand.

And know that someday you'll be with your folks again

in the good place.

I think I like your answer, Mr. Cobb.

Good.

Thank you.

Now, you know something.

I haven't danced in 30 years.

How about it, Miss Lauren?

Funny little, funny little, funny face.

Sweetest little,

dearest little, fluff and lace.

You brought a new love, a true love that turned my

life around.

You brought a real hope.

A precious new hope to a tired old clown.

What is your power this magic hour? A soft embrace

that makes me tower.

A giant flower above the human race.

Funny little

funny little funny face

sweetest little dearest little

honey face hold me forever

and ever in your hearts embrace

I love you honey

Goodbye, my funny little funny face.

Thanks for the offer, kid.

But we've both got important things to do.

We were just saying how we almost hate to leave. I, for one, hate to see you

Shall we make that two?

I would imagine with such great reviews, we can look forward to your revival on

television.

We haven't even thought about that.

I don't even care. I'm just happy we're friends again.

Yes, we are.

And I can't thank you enough, Mr. Ross. Well, the compliment is returned. You've

given us much pleasure.

Thank you.

Goodbye. Goodbye, Seth. Goodbye. Good to see you. Goodbye.

Do you think they will, sir?

Will what?

Get their show together again. Oh, that's relatively unimportant, Lawrence.

They've found what they really came for.

Each other.

Well, Laurie, I see you and your newfound friend.

have developed what I'm sure will be a lasting relationship.

He's great. In fact, he's almost perfect.

Almost, Miss Laurie? I checked his pedigree myself.

He is faultless. Not when it comes to dribbles.

Is Mr. Cobb going to be all right?

Oh, definitely all right, yes. He's going to start a new life and try to

his long -lost daughter. You gave him the help he needed, Laurie.

I'm glad.

But just in case, Mr. Ward, if you happen to see...

Tell him hello from me, then thanks.

With pleasure.

Maybe I didn't get to meet him, but I still got my fantasy.

Mr. Cobb told me everything I wanted to know. I'm so glad, Laurie.

Bye, Mr. Rourke.

Lauren. Goodbye, Miss Laurie.