Original subtitles

Good morning, Rock. Good morning, Horace.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

To Mrs. Walters, huh? Yes. I understood the gentleman had cancelled the

reservation. Oh, he did, Lawrence.

However, at the last moment, Mrs. Walters called to say she talked her

into coming after all.

Doesn't look very happy about it, sir.

Well, that's because he feels his wife's fantasy is an assault on his male

prerogatives. You see, her fantasy is to have her husband learn what it is to be

a woman.

and have to suffer the arrogance of men.

In that case, he has my sympathy.

If you want my guess, both of them will need all the sympathy they can get,

Lawrence.

Oh, my.

Well, as they say, sir, there goes the neighborhood.

You know her, Lawrence?

Certainly not, sir.

But much so, I hate to admit it, I have had dealings with ladies of easy virtue.

Just how did you become such an expert on the subject?

I had to dismiss them with shocking regularity from the bedroom of one of my

former employers.

Oh, I see.

Stark, I'd honestly hope, would not be required of me under your employ.

Her name is Miss Shelley James, and she's here for a fantasy, Lawrence.

To receive one or fulfill one?

Her fantasy is to be a normal woman involved in a normal relationship with a

normal man for the weekend.

Then I pray she gets it right the first time, sir.

So do I, Lawrence.

For her sake, I sincerely do.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Roth, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Mr. Rourke, I want to experience true love. What's the problem?

Do you have any idea how many married men I've had?

Cream or sugar, miss?

No, thanks.

Like I was saying, people get married because they're in love.

So how come so many married men come to me instead of living happily ever after?

In other words, you don't believe such a thing as true love exists.

You got it.

Then why are you here?

Thank you.

Why are you here, Miss James?

Because being in love is kind of a nice idea, you know?

I mean, not that I'm apologizing for what I am.

It's a living, right?

I don't know.

Sometimes when I see housewives pushing their babies around the market...

Or couples holding hands in the park.

I wonder, what if something wonderful really

can happen between a man and a woman?

Is this the first time you've ever tried to find out?

No, I tried the normal routine once.

And? I swore off tricking and signed up for typing school.

You know, so that I could meet new people, make some friends, be a regular

of girl.

And I lasted a whole three days.

I don't know.

I don't know if I couldn't cut it or I couldn't cut me.

But being your basic everyday chick was definitely a lost cause.

Well, your stay with us won't involve typing school, James.

But it will involve a young man here on the island.

who is quite anxious to meet you.

Where did you tell him about me to make him so anxious?

Oh, no, I assure you, he has no idea what you do for a living. Oh, no, no,

No, it seems he saw you at a party several months ago, and for him it was

apparently love at first sight.

You mean, um, he wants to meet me because I'm me?

Because he found you very attractive.

And thought you were, no doubt, a very nice person.

He's waiting to meet you right now.

Wait. I can't meet this guy right now. I mean, the only people I'm used to being

with, guys, are Johns.

I mean, somebody's got to tell me what to say, how to act, what to do. What to

wear is no small consideration either, sir.

Yes, a change of wardrobe is called for.

But as for your other concerns...

Just let nature take its course, Miss James.

You'll do just fine.

You're dragging me to this island for some dumb fantasy. It's humiliating, Mr.

Rourke. Look at me.

Do I look like some flake who gets his kicks and lording it over his wife

because she's a woman?

I didn't say you were a flake, George. I said you were a male chauvinist pig.

Mr. and Mrs. Walters, please.

Please. Now, you've come to Fantasy Island to get some insight into your

problems, not to keep battling with each other.

If you would just be content to stay home and keep house, there would be no

problem. Keeping house is not the problem, George.

It's you taking me for granted and treating me like I didn't have a brain

head. That is the problem.

Okay.

Okay.

Bring in your shrink, Mr. Rourke, or whoever it is who's going to try to make

feel guilty because I have bigger muscles than her.

Let's just get this thing over with.

A shrink?

Oh, no.

No, no, Mr. Walter, psychiatry will not be necessary.

I've devised a more practical way in which you might discern the nature of

women. A more... a more realistic way, shall we say.

Whatever.

As long as this thing is over by the weekend, I have a very important

engagement and I'm trying to close the deal in Montreal, Canada.

I believe a weekend will be quite sufficient.

Now, you can both return to your bungalow and wait for me. Your fantasy,

Walters, will start in exactly one hour.

All right?

Mr. Rourke?

Mr. Brad Jacobs?

It's Shelly James.

Hello. Hi.

Well, I believe you have something to talk about, so if you'll excuse me.

So.

So.

I, uh, saw you at a St.

Patrick's Day bash the company I worked for gave by the, uh...

By the time I'd made my way across the hall to introduce myself, you were

leaving with somebody.

You, uh... You still dating him?

No.

Ever been here before?

No, I've been to Hawaii, though.

Oh, yeah? Which island?

Uh, the one that Honolulu's on. I wasn't paying very much attention.

Uh -oh, you were there on your honeymoon, right?

No. I was working.

Oh.

So your job takes you to Honolulu.

What do you do?

I'm in retailing.

Retailing? Only a few seconds before the hour is up, George.

Hurry. You took your sweet time when you were here.

Now, just because it's my turn, it's hurry up, George.

Hurry up, George.

Just like a woman, you pluck your eyebrows, you wash your hair, you shave

legs, you file your nails, you cream your elbows.

All I want to do is shave and comb my hair, but now when it's my turn, hurry

George. Hurry up, George.

You know, Laura, there's still time to call this crazy thing off.

What do you say, huh?

Oh, my.

This Gert must have shrunk at the cleaners, George.

We could catch the afternoon plane to Montreal.

See Ferguson about that shopping mall deal.

Look what you've done.

You and your damn fantasy.

He switched our bodies. This is what Rourke meant by being realistic.

That better

be you, Rourke.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later. Okay, Rourke. Okay.

Have yourself a good laugh and then turn me into myself again.

Before I punch you into next week.

My, my, such ugly talk. I'm from such a pretty lady.

Yes, George, you be careful about what I say.

Okay, okay.

Just don't press your luck, either of you.

Excuse me.

Does this arrangement disturb you, Mrs. Walters?

I can understand why you turned George into me, but why me into him?

Well, it seemed the only way to be fair to both of you. May I? Oh, certainly,

certainly. Thank you.

You see, whatever your husband hopefully learns about women will be of little

use unless you also learn something about his problems in being a man.

But, Mr. Rourke, won't people think that it's peculiar hearing my voice coming

out of George's mouth?

Now, you see, only Lawrence and I, and the two of you, of course, will hear you

as you are.

When you are with other people, Mrs. Walters, you will have your husband's

voice, and you, Mr. Walters, will have your wife's voice. In other words, the

voice will match the body.

I thought it would avoid confusion.

Who cares about voices? I can't be seen like this.

I'm ridiculous.

You never, never thought my body was ridiculous before. I never wore it

I want out.

Oh, easily done. But only if Mrs. Walters agrees.

It's your fantasy, and terminating it now that it has begun is entirely up to

you.

Well... In that case...

You take good care of me.

Laura!

No!

Well, don't worry.

I'm not going to beat you or anything like that.

What kind of a husband do you think I am?

Wonderful! It sounds like this marriage is starting off on the right foot.

Mrs. Walters.

Mr.

Walters.

What's wrong now, Lawrence?

Well, really, sir, having a woman about to whom sexual favors are nothing but a

commodity is an open invitation to trouble.

Mr. Rourke, I've got to talk to you. I've got troubles.

The defense read us.

Brad expects me to meet him down at the lagoon in an hour, and I want you to

tell him I just can't. But why?

Aren't the two of you getting along?

Yes. No.

I mean, the guy, he's just, he's not my type.

And as far as he's concerned, I'm history, okay?

What you are is frightened, Miss James.

What do you mean, frightened?

You like him, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah, I like him.

The problem is, it's difficult for you to like people, isn't it?

No, it never used to be.

Back when I was a kid, I liked everybody.

And everybody, uh... Like me.

Especially my.

Stepfather.

I guess I.

Stop trusting people.

Around the time my mother went out of town for the weekend and left the two of

us, my stepfather and me, by ourselves.

That was the first time. You don't have to go on with James. I understand.

And I can well understand why you're frightened.

Your love and trust were betrayed once with extremely painful results.

And now, no doubt, you're afraid that Mr. Jacobs, of whom you're obviously

growing very fond, will somehow cause history to repeat itself.

You should be happy.

Happy?

Lawrence is quite right, Miss James.

Under the circumstances, you're being frightened is a perfectly normal

And as I recall, normal is precisely what you came here to be.

Yeah, but it isn't going to work.

You see, Brad thinks the reason that I'm acting so weird around him is because

I'm shy.

Or proper.

Can you believe that?

Are you saying you'd prefer he knew the truth about you?

Of course not.

He'd be gone in two seconds if he knew the truth.

But believe it or not, I do pride myself on being an honest person, Mr. Rourke.

I guess I should tell him everything, shouldn't I?

Well, you're the only person who can answer that question, Miss James.

Yeah.

Somehow I thought you might say that.

Well, good luck, Mrs.

Walters. And until you get a hang of your new physical capabilities, I'll be

close by, just in case.

Don't worry, Mr. Walters. I can handle it.

Splendid, Mrs. Walters. Splendid.

I'm sorry. I thought this table was... No, no, no. Sit down. Sit down. Relax.

It's all right. No, I can find another table. No, really.

Join us. It's okay.

Thank you.

Sure. I was about to get some drinks. You want one?

No, no.

Great.

I'll go get it.

That's a lovely bathing suit you're wearing there. Thank you.

Thank you.

truth. I was thinking about buying one for myself.

Oh, really?

But I lost my nerve.

You know, that's too bad. You would have looked, um, darling.

Well, I wouldn't have looked like you look at it.

You know something?

I kind of like your way of coming on. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Don't get me wrong.

Oh, no, it's okay. It's okay.

I was getting kind of bored of Tom anyway.

He's so, um, immature.

You mean it's this easy to make out?

Yes, we should.

What do you think you're doing?

Doing about what?

You met... What's my girl creep?

I'm not a creep. I'm not messing with your girl. Sit down. Just get out of

okay?

Now, look.

I'm not what I look like.

Oh,

there, there. Now, Mrs. Walter.

Sorry, Mr. Rourke.

If that young ruffian meant you any harm, sir, madam, I shall call the

constabulary. Oh, no, no. Don't, don't.

He just thought that I would make it past at his girl, that's all.

Oh, it was awful, Mr. Rourke. Oh, come now, Mrs.

Walters. Getting a taste of the temptations that can cause a man to

also one of our objectives, wasn't it?

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

I'm talking a joke about the bear and the rabbit. No, stop it, stop it. No, no

more jokes. I mean it, I mean it.

I haven't laughed this hard in years.

How come?

I don't know. I just haven't.

Does that mean you're having a good time?

Yes. It means I'm having a great time.

Tell you how special you are to me, shall we?

First, it was just the way you looked.

But now... That you're so quiet.

That you, um... You stand out.

Like something whispered instead of shouted.

I have something I have to tell you.

It can wait.

Shelly, would you rather say goodnight to me now or

good morning to me later?

Goodnight to you now, okay?

Okay.

I really like you.

You know that, don't you?

Good night.

Brad?

I like you a lot, too.

Shouldn't have happened.

Why not?

I shouldn't have let it happen.

I guess I did kind of force the issue, didn't I?

No.

Tell you what.

Why don't I just do what I should have done in the first place, okay?

You didn't do anything wrong.

It's me.

I have something I have to tell you.

Remember when I told you I was in retailing?

Yeah.

Well, what I retail is me.

I'm a hooker.

I've been doing it since I was 16.

Brad, I was working that party when you first saw me.

I came to the island because I... I wanted to find out what it felt like

not to be what I am.

Now I know.

Will you see this?

And they said it couldn't be done.

Well, woman of little faith.

What is it?

You like cheese souffle? I made you a cheese souffle.

Did you have to cremate it?

So that's what I get for trying, huh?

Sarcasm? No, no, no. I'm sorry, George. I'm sorry.

That just happens to be a line I stole from you. That's what this whole thing's

all about, remember?

Sure.

And I also remember your reaction to it, huh?

Like this?

George!

I got a headache.

Miss James, are you all right?

I've never felt better in my life.

I told him, Mr. Rourke. I told him everything.

About what you wear?

He knows, and it doesn't matter. He's still in there asleep.

He didn't walk out.

Can you believe it?

Well, I'm very happy for you. I'm so excited I can't sleep. I mean, all I can

think about is how terrific today is going to be.

Miss James... I want to do something really special.

Do you think I should, I don't know, bring him breakfast like they did in the

movies? Do you think he'd like that?

Oh, I'm sure he would.

You know, this is the first time I can remember that I've looked forward to the

day.

Miss James, there's an old saying that goes, sorrow is born in the

hasty heart.

When you're experiencing something for the first time, especially love,

It's best to take it slowly.

She who hesitates is lost, Mr. Rourke.

See you later.

Oh, I was going to surprise you with breakfast in bed.

We'll have coffee, Pop.

I, uh... I can't. I can't.

Thank you.

Oh, no.

What is it?

Judas Priest, Laura. I can't let him see me looking like this. Go hide my body

somewhere. Get out of here.

Who is he?

Dick Conway Ferguson, my Montreal shopping mall deal. That's who.

Oh, now, for God's sake, be careful what you say.

George?

Nice to see you, George.

Mr. Roth told me you'd be here. I guess you're a little surprised to, uh...

To see me.

Oh, you must be Laura.

Well, well, well.

You know, George has talked a lot about you.

And I'm nearly enough.

Yeah, yeah, she is a doll, isn't she? I'm sorry to break in on your vacation

like this, but business is business, right, George?

You see, we're working on the shopping mall deal together, and I've got some

details that I've got to straighten out before...

I finalized your husband's contract.

I'm going to make George a rich man.

You don't mind me making your husband a rich man.

Do you, Laura?

No, I don't mind at all, Mr. Ferguson.

Call me Conway.

Conway.

Yes.

This is wonderful.

Pour him a scotch, Lawrence.

Let's have a toast.

To fantasy.

Male and female.

Apparently, sir, she has experienced some kind of a setback.

No, no. No.

I prefer to think of it as a chance to go on to bigger and better

things.

Mr. Jacobs couldn't accept what you were after all, huh?

Yeah.

And you should have seen him run, too.

And after I'd given him the best freebie of his life.

I don't know. The way I figure it, if I'm going to start being treated like a

whore, I might just start being one.

What about you, Rourke?

Hmm? What are you doing for the next half hour, huh?

Lawrence, I want to speak to Miss James alone.

Yes, sir.

You won't regret it.

You won't stop the pain by doing this.

What pain?

Come on.

Pain and pleasure are part of my act. You think I'm feeling pain?

Yes, I think you felt pain when your stepfather betrayed your trust years

and I think you feel that very same pain now.

Okay.

So I met a guy I like for the first time in my life. And he dumped me. And it

hurts. What am I supposed to do? Thank you?

Learn from it, Miss James.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, I don't got the time.

The girls on the street I compete with are getting younger by the day.

And pretty soon,

They're going to push me out of the running altogether.

And then you know what happens?

You know what happens to hookers who are past their prime?

They end up dying in a back alley.

And nobody gives a damn.

But you're no longer what you were, Miss James.

You've revealed, most importantly to yourself, that you are a feeling.

Loving, normal human being.

Which means you've changed your future.

Don't you see?

Yeah.

But I can't change my past.

I'm stuck with it.

Just like I'm stuck with me.

And you know what?

I hate me.

Damn.

Well, after a workout like that, you must feel very good indeed, Mr. Jacobs.

I still feel like the lousy creep I am.

Oh?

Shelly trusted me enough to tell me the truth.

And what did I do?

I threw her back in her face and ran. I couldn't handle it.

Well, after all, she is a whore.

What kind of man could handle that?

Damn you, Mr. Rourke.

Answer me, Mr. Jacobs.

A man with guts enough to love her, really love her, that's who can handle

Who'd be willing to say that the only thing that's important is the way they

feel about each other and to hell with what everybody else thinks.

And that man isn't you, huh?

I wish to God it was.

I live in the real world, Mr. Rourke.

I just can't ignore what other people would think.

Nor can you ignore the fact that making decisions of the heart based on what

other people think is never quite satisfactory, is it, Mr. Jacobs?

Well, I'm sure I've taken too much of your time already, so, uh, good day,

One thing I want to know, Laura, just how many times have you been hit on by

guys like that grueling Ledge Ferguson without telling me?

Why, George, I thought you weren't the jealous type.

Laura, I've got a call for George Walters. I'll take it. Right here.

I'm George Walters. I'll take it.

Way to go, George.

Hello? Oh, hello, Cartway.

Uh -huh.

Uh -huh.

Yeah, yeah, I understand.

Well, I'll just wait here until he comes.

All right.

What does he want?

My body.

You mean he goes both ways?

Oh, no, no, no.

My body.

The one that you're in.

He wants my body to go to his bungalow and help him make hors d 'oeuvres.

And he wants your body to stay here and wait for this man.

Until he delivers the contracts for the mall.

It's a setup.

He figures I can't chance ticking him off until the contract's signed.

Wait. George, you're not going to go by yourself, are you?

Why not?

It's another lesson to learn.

And to be chased around the department by a sex -praised maniac.

Please, George.

The contract isn't worth it.

You call off the fantasy and I'll tell Ferguson what he can do with this deal.

There's no other way.

Still making conditions on your terms, aren't you?

You haven't learned anything.

It's your body.

Mr. Rourke.

Oh, Mr.

Rourke.

Mrs.

Walter. Oh, Mr. Rourke, you're absolutely right.

I've been playing with fire, and I want to pour a bucket of water on it.

Does this mean you wish to end your fantasy?

Yes, yes, yes.

Mr. Roark, I've only been looking at myself through my own point of view.

Oh, that's very good, Mrs. Walters.

Once you're able to accept the fact that men must also deal with compromise and

humiliation, then you're well on your way to making your marriage a true

partnership.

Oh, I know that. I know that now, Mr. Roark.

And I think we should restart our partnership by...

Getting George and me back to who we really, really are.

If that is your wish, Mrs. Walters, then it's done.

What the hell are... I'm going to tell me I'm George again.

I... I am George again. Listen to me.

Listen to me.

I'm myself again!

Indeed you are, Mr. Walters. Your personality is back in the body it

occupies. And so at this very moment, it's Mrs. Walters.

The fantasy is over!

But that means that Laura is trapped in that bungalow with

the animal.

I understand you're going hard to get.

This is ridiculous.

You see, it's all over. You don't understand.

You don't understand.

Something has happened, and I am me again. Laura, my pills. Yes, I wouldn't

it any other way. Mr. Ferguson, cut it out.

Oh, George.

Oh, George.

There was a burglar that came in here.

He was a giant of a man, and he assaulted Laura.

Right, Laura?

Oh. You see, he made it, and I was helping you to the couch.

Here.

George. George.

We're ourselves again.

Promise me something, Laura.

Next time you get another idea like this, don't.

I promise you one thing. If I do, you'll be the first to know.

Just a minute.

Oh, I thought you were the driver.

Shelly, wait a minute. No, I'm going to miss my plane. I have to talk to you.

We talked this morning.

I want to talk some more.

About what?

Brad. No.

What I've been is what I am.

A hooker.

Do you really think that my past is going to change just because you want it

Do you think you're going to be able to walk into a restaurant with me and not

wonder who knows?

I wonder why a waiter has a silly grin on his face.

You think you're going to be able to handle that, huh?

Do you, Brad?

Shelly, I wish I could.

Just get out of here. I don't want to talk about it. Just leave.

I wanted to say I love you so bad it hurt.

I still want to say it.

The only reason I won't is because you won't believe me.

Shelley, just because I can't handle your past

doesn't mean some other guy can't handle it.

I promise you, someday you're going to meet somebody who couldn't care less

about what you were.

He's going to love you for what you've become.

And you want to know something else?

What? Letting you walk out.

It's something I think I'm going to regret for the rest of my life.

You're worth caring about, Shelly.

Go ahead and forget about everything else that happened this weekend, but

please, don't ever forget that.

You... You have a handkerchief.

I thought women had a decimate. He's in their purse.

Women, yeah.

Hookers? No.

Hookers aren't supposed to cry.

Didn't you know that?

you for everything.

Especially Laura's fantasy.

Being a woman has made a new man of me.

And you, Mrs. Walters, vice versa?

Vice versa, Mr.

Roy. I may not understand the male, but I can certainly sympathize with him.

Thank you so very much. It's highly welcome, Mrs. Walters.

Very welcome.

Miss James, you look wonderful.

I'll take that as a compliment.

I'll wait to assume, then, that you have forsaken your erstwhile profession.

For now, I can't promise anything.

I did try it once before, you know.

But you knew no other life then, Miss James.

Now that you've had a taste of something different, you're free to make a

choice. And I, for one, I'm confident you'll make the right one.

Oh what the hell.