Original subtitles

Good morning, boss. Good morning, the two.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

That lady acts like she just landed on Mars.

Who is she? A woman who has done very little traveling outside of Spain. Her

name is Miss Maria Margarita Rosario Pilar Martinez Molina Rodriguez Diaz.

What kind of parents will give eight names to their daughter?

Her mother named it, Tattoo, six months before she died.

Miss Diaz was then taken in by nuns and raised in a convent.

Where was her father?

Her father and her mother were never married. In fact, her fantasy is to meet

him for the very first time.

What's wrong, boss?

Possibly a great deal, Tattoo. You see, her father has no idea he even has a

daughter.

Nor is it likely he wants one.

That guy looks uptight.

He looks like he needs a vacation.

You're right, Tattoo.

Mr. Alan Daly has spent the last eight years of his life in one of the most

brutal prisons in the world.

You mean he's an ex -con?

What did he do?

That's a tragedy.

Nothing. He was framed.

Framed? That's terrible.

Indeed. He also believes that his best friend died in that same prison.

His fantasy is to clear his name?

No, Tattoo. His fantasy is to start a new life.

by finding a fabulous lost treasure which a fellow prisoner told him was

here on Fantasy Island.

I think he's going to need a trustworthy guide, like me.

Yes, that's right, Atu.

But I'm afraid he'll need much more than that to get him through this weekend.

Much more.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Tell me, Miss Diaz, do you know anything at all about your father?

I only know what you told me before I came here.

That his name is Charles Boudreau and that he lives right here on your island.

Yes. Hey, is there anything more to know? Oh, well, for one thing, your

holds a high post in the diplomatic corps of the United States.

He has a home here and another one just outside New York City.

My papa is a very smart man, no?

Oh, yes, he is. You can be very proud of him.

For eight years, I studied music at the Conservatory in Madrid.

And do you know why?

Why? So when I meet him, he can be so proud of me.

Well, I can see you're very anxious to begin your fantasy. So if you will come

with us, Tatouan, I will drive you to the Woodruff Estate.

Follow me.

This way.

Thank you, Tatouan. I can't wait.

Tell Henry to use Italian wine in the clam sauce.

The last time he used a French Bordeaux on Ambassador Giovanni threw a fit.

Now, that can't be the foreign minister. He's a half hour early.

Oh, hello. We'd like to speak with Mr. Woodruff. Tell me, Mr. Woodruff. What a

surprise.

You've got a bigger one coming.

This is him?

Yes. Miss Maria Diaz, may I present Mr. Charles Woodruff, your father.

Papa.

Papacito. Ay, papacito, que alegría.

Ay, papacito. I told you.

Well,

we'll leave you to get acquainted. I'll be back in an hour to answer any

questions that may come to your mind. Good day.

Mr.

Roberts, your friend who died in that Iranian prison, what was his name?

Warren Robertson.

I haven't thought about him in years.

He always had some schemes to make a quick buck.

He got a line on some Persian relish from some phony drug dealer.

Said we could get rich, but all he had to do was smuggle this stuff out of the

country back to the States.

On our last night there, Lauren went out to

buy some souvenirs and junk.

The cops busted in and arrested me.

Anyway, the cops...

discovered a couple of these relics.

I heard later on that they named Loren, too.

I mean, they beat him to death trying to make him confess.

I'm sorry, Mr. Daly. I didn't mean to stir up painful memories.

Oh, that must be Tattoo. Come in.

Tattoo will be your guide.

I'm ready for the treasure hunt, boss.

So I see.

Mr. Warwick, am I really going to find the treasure?

All I've got to go on is a story from some crazy old man, a history professor

they arrested for politics.

Oh, I assure you, Mr. Daly, the treasure is here.

It may even contain the legendary mask of Tenoquato, made of solid gold and

precious jewels.

I think, uh...

This will help you locate it.

A map?

Just as simple as that?

Oh, simple to find, yes.

But I must warn you, legend says that much of the treasure was sacred in

This treasure will buy me a new identity, a whole new life.

I've got to make it.

I truly hope so, Mr. Daly.

I truly hope so.

The two?

Good luck, Mr. Daly.

Years ago, when I was starting my career, I was assigned to a little town

Spain.

I met and fell in love with a beautiful woman named Margarita. Margarita Diaz.

She was my mama.

Her parents didn't approve of me. They forbade her to see me after they found

out about our romance.

Shortly after that, I was assigned to a little embassy in the Middle East.

And I never saw her again.

Oh.

Nor did I ever forget her.

I had no idea she had my child.

Mr. Woodruff. Mr. Woodruff.

I submit that this woman somehow found out about your moment of youthful

indiscretion and fabricated this entire story.

While researching Miss Diaz's fantasy, I came across this document.

It is a record of the baptisms that took place in that little town in the year

1955.

Now, here is Miss Diaz's name, here is her mother's name, and here is the name

she gave as God was her witness of the Father.

I'm satisfied.

Good.

I'll be leaving then.

I'm sure the two of you have a lot of catching up to do.

Rock, you're going to leave her here?

Well, she is your daughter, Mr. Woodruff.

Good day, sir.

Madame.

Papa.

Oh, Papa, I'm so sorry I got you by surprise.

But if I told you the surprise, you will not be surprised.

Are you surprised?

Something is wrong?

Yes, I don't understand a word you're saying.

That must be the Indian foreign minister.

Quick, do something about her and tell her there's no way in hell she can stay

here with me. What?

Papa, Papa, wait.

I love you, Papa.

I wait all my life to say that.

Mi Papa.

This must be it.

You see?

It was easy.

I'll be doing.

Okay. Come on.

Now listen, this whole place is probably booby -trapped.

I know.

We better be careful.

All right. Be careful now.

man was right.

Taxi, look at that Buddha.

That mask is pure mine.

The mask of Tenequil.

You're looking at the greatest art find of the century.

Tattoo holder.

You know what this is?

It's a coffin.

You know what I put in there?

I'm rich.

I'm filthy rich.

Give me this back.

Emeralds.

Rubies. Oh, my God. Let me get it.

Emeralds. It's booby trap. Watch it.

Let's get out.

I'm gonna get you.

I'm not leaving without that mask.

Seize them up.

I'm going to cut off my right arm for that mad tattoo.

But I got a king's ransom right here.

Enough to start a whole new life.

And I can hardly wait to get started.

Let's get out of here, huh? Yeah.

Lauren.

It is Lauren.

And he's alive.

And Marion.

Marion's with him.

The two of them ripped eight years out of my life.

You don't have to.

I was in love with her.

We're gonna be married.

I don't get it.

I'm just beginning to get it.

He set me up.

But why?

He made a deal.

He smuggled the stuff out of the country. It would have been worth a

He's filthy rich.

He's alive and he's got her.

I'll kill him. I'll kill them both.

Mr. Teddy, you're talking crazy.

You don't want to go back to prison, do you?

No, I don't do that.

I forgot.

I'm rich now, too.

I'll think of a better way.

I'll find a way to really hurt them.

Would you follow me, please?

Who are these people?

Well, this is a long -lost aunt, Gina, from Mexico.

This is

the great uncle, General Rodriguez, from Bolivia.

Finalmente tengo el placer de conocerte, mi nena Maria.

And this is your cousin from Brooklyn, New York, Rodolfo.

Well,

since you were having such a great family reunion, I thought, why not

rest of the family?

Oh, thank you, Tatu. What a good idea.

You mean this...

Gypsies are going to stay here?

Well, that's my best kind of fantasy.

Come

in.

Well, Mr. Daly.

May I talk to you?

Certainly. Come on in.

Thank you.

Only I'm not Alan Daly anymore.

How do you like the new me?

Mr. Thomas Lacey. Very rich, reclusive, collector of rare and primitive art.

Yes, the difference is amazing.

It's only the beginning, Mr. Roy. Here, sit down.

Thank you.

It seems to me your fantasy has been fulfilled.

Since you found the hidden treasure, when do you plan to leave Fantasy Island

begin your new life?

Like any other guest, when the weekend's over.

That's all right with you.

Oh, yes, yes, of course. But Tattoo told me what happened when you saw Mr. and

Mrs. Lauren Robertson today.

Relax, Mr. Rourke.

Tattoo brought me back to my senses.

Well, then why not leave?

I can really use this art auction you're holding here to help establish my new

identity.

You also know that Mr. and Mrs. Lorna Robertson will be there, don't you?

A test.

Oh? You see, if they don't recognize me, then nobody will.

I see.

Still, I'd like to remind you that revenge is a two -headed monster that

in all directions.

Good day, Mr. Daly.

Hello, Maria. Mrs. Poproy.

What do you say, C .W.? Hey, hey, hey.

Nice wheels you got out there.

You know that limo of yours? Gets up to 60, 12 flat. And you know that tune -up

your rolls needed?

Doesn't need it anymore.

I mean you.

Mrs. Poproy!

Why? Why? I don't understand what you are talking.

Never have I witnessed such an outrage.

What you have done is immoral. No, it is perverted.

What for you are getting so excited? All I do is put a little hot chili in your

fancy sauce.

It doesn't hurt nothing. Hot chili in a Bernese? In my Bernese.

You should be guillotined.

Slowly.

Mrs. Potroy!

I'm here, Mr. Woodward. What's going on here? It has been absolute havoc.

They're like a swarm of locusts.

Hovering, wreaking havoc. Him in the garage, her in the kitchen.

Him, him in the... Oh, all right. And her, her, everywhere.

Butchering the language of my forefathers. It has been horrible.

No wonder they're all quitting.

Quitting? Who's quitting?

We are, sir, the entire staff.

We can take no more.

But you can't. The party tomorrow, the Italian ambassador.

What will I do?

Bum, I should think, sir.

An astonishing good luck to you.

Come, stop.

Oh, how's it coming along?

Well, from your description and the one in this book, it's the best I can do.

It's excellent.

Okay, but I don't know if I can have it made by tonight.

I'll give you another $100 ,000, but it has to be ready by tonight.

You got it.

I'll get started now.

This is the real mask at 10 o 'clock.

I hear it was excavated by some kids when they were trying to build a play

or something. Isn't it lovely?

Workmanship is exquisite.

What the hell would you know about art, darling? Especially something as

beautiful as this.

Sorry. Please excuse me.

I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I happen to agree with

you. The workmanship on that mask is exquisite.

Well, how do you do?

I'm Thomas Lacey, a collector.

I'm Marion Roberts.

I didn't mean to startle you.

No, it's not that.

It's just that you remind me of someone I used to know.

Well, I guess we all see ghosts from our past now and then.

Ghosts, yes.

May I get you another drink? That one didn't last too long.

I don't think so.

I'd better be getting back to my bungalow.

May I walk you?

All right.

Tell me about your husband.

He was different at first.

There when I needed him the most.

This isn't my bungalow.

No, it's mine.

Sometimes two people meet, they know everything there is to know about each

other. Don't you agree?

Please, stop.

Why should I?

I see the same loneliness in you that I felt.

Yes, I am lonely.

And I'd like to think that Lauren would miss me and be worried, but he won't.

Then what's to stop us?

Hey,

hey!

Charge!

Charge!

Tatu, I am beginning to think that maybe my uncle is what you call loony -toony.

He's going bananas.

I know what you mean. Tatu, I was so wrong for coming here.

I make my papa so unhappy.

Look, I know a way to make your daddy happy again.

You and your relatives are going to take the place of his servants.

We can?

Yes. You know your Aunt Gina, how she cooks so well?

Well, she can cook for the party this afternoon.

And my aunt calling his uniform.

He looks so snoopy -doopy. He will be the butler. Bye.

And your cousin, Rodolfo, can park the car. Right!

And I will be the maid.

Ay, Tatu, you are a genius.

Thank you. You're welcome. Look, the boss and I were invited to the party

afternoon. I'm going to be there to help you if you need me.

I got to go now, okay? Okay.

You are a genius.

What a idea.

Thank you so much. Oh, Maria, if somehow something goes wrong, remember, that

was your idea.

Okay, Tattoo, but what can go wrong?

Would you believe me if I told you I love you?

You haven't answered me yet.

Why don't you just get dressed?

What's wrong?

We had our time together. Now it's over.

Why is it over?

Get it from my point of view.

Future in a married woman sleeps with anyone.

You're not just anyone, Alan.

Alan, I knew it was you all along.

When did you know?

When I first saw you.

I knew.

But you looked so different.

You pretended not to know me.

But if I'd had any doubt, they'd be gone now.

Damn it, Marion.

Why did you marry him?

Alan, you just disappeared.

I was so hurt.

Lauren was there to comfort me.

Oh, I bet you were easy to comfort, weren't you?

Why are you doing this?

Why did you pretend that you still care for me?

Lauren took you away from me.

Now I've taken you back.

You mean last night was revenge?

Just call it anything you feel like.

I thought we still had a chance.

I never loved Lauren.

Never.

Good.

Then you won't mind if I show the world that your famous art expert husband is a

fake and a fool.

Right now, I don't care what happens to either one of you.

You're two of a kind.

Do you want the bar back?

Finding servants at such short notice proved impossible.

Oh, dear.

Why are you dressed like that?

Because we are going to be Papa's servants. You can't be serious.

You are serious.

Well, I will simply not allow it.

You should all be locked up.

I have a better idea.

I'll show you.

What are you doing?

Mrs.

Conferoy, this party is very important to Papa. We cannot let you call it off,

you understand?

You can't wait on decent people, you know.

Nothing about decent people. No, no, no, no. Everything is going to be just

fine. You know what I'm going to cook? I'm going to cook albondigas and salsa

chile chipotle.

It's delicious.

Over my dead body.

Don't push your luck, lady.

Don't you talk to me.

Okay, put it right back. Put it right back.

Come back here! How dare you! Let me out! Did you find out what Mr.

net worth is?

Five million.

Very good work.

I've already put the money in your account.

A legendary gold mask of Tennant Quattle, excavated only days ago here on

Fantasy Island.

It weighs 37 pounds and is cast in pure gold with cut rubies in the eyes and

emeralds thought to represent tears just below the eyes.

The bidding on the mask of Tenequato will begin in a few moments.

How's the auction going, Mr. Robertson? You bought anything yet?

Oh, just a few minor pieces.

Have we met?

I don't know. Have we?

I'm Thomas Lacey.

Of course, everyone in the business knows Lauren Robertson. Oh, thank you.

Too bad you came so late. Some of the good stuff's already been auctioned off.

Well, I'm just interested in one piece.

The mask.

Oh, I see. Well, you got good taste, old buddy.

But I'm afraid you've made a bad choice. You see, I intend to have that mask at

any price.

Well, I guess we both mean business then?

Well, I hope you brought enough money with you.

Because no one knows who the seller is, but they want cash on the barrel head,

you see, and all sales are final.

I heard.

Well, I hope you brought enough cash, too.

Then it doesn't really matter.

I want that mask.

I'm prepared to bid any offer.

All right, gentlemen and ladies, you know of the mask's antiquity and

importance. You also know the value of the gold and the gems alone dictates a

minimum opening bid of $500 ,000. Do I hear an offer?

One million dollars.

Thank you, Mr. Robertson. The bid is now one million dollars.

Well, I guess this is where the men are separated from the boys, huh?

Three million dollars.

Three million.

Three five.

Three million five hundred thousand.

Three million five hundred once.

Three million five hundred twice.

Four. Four million dollars.

Four million once.

Four million twice. Four five.

Four million five hundred thousand dollars going once.

Four million six.

Four million six.

Four seven. Four seven for Mr. Robinson.

Four million nine.

Four million nine hundred thousand dollars.

$4 ,900 ,000. That's the bid, Mr. Robinson.

$5 million.

Ladies and gentlemen, the bid is $5 million.

$5 million.

Getting a little bit too rich for your blood?

A little too rich.

Congratulations.

To Mr.

Lauren Robinson of New York for the sum of $5 million.

Well,

I always get what I want. Sorry about that, old buddy.

Yes, I'm sure you get what you deserve, if you'll excuse me.

And that concludes today's auction on Fantasy Island. Thank you for coming.

Would you care for a hors d 'oeuvre?

No, no, no, no.

Uncle, it is not hors d 'oeuvre. It is champagne.

Listen to me.

Would you care for champagne?

What's he doing? What are you doing? Why are you dressed like a maid?

That's what I am, Papa. For the party, we are going to be your servants.

But Mrs. Pomproy canceled the party, didn't she?

I think the guests are starting to come.

Go send Rudolph to this park in their cars.

To get dressed, and then no doubt to my grave.

Mrs. Potpourri!

Papa, please, papa! Mrs.

Potpourri, where are you?

Well, I've staked everything I own on this little duty right here, ma 'am.

Between the tour and the resale, I figure I'm going to double my

Thank you.

Did you ever find out who it was that sold you the mask? Oh, Mr. Lacey, how

you, sir?

No, no, never did find out. The money was put into a numbered Swiss bank

account, that's all I know. I guess that doesn't really matter now anyway, does

it? Oh, but it does matter.

You see, that anonymous owner was me.

Oh, wait a minute here, I don't get that.

That the owner was you.

Why would you put it up for auction and then bid against yourself, huh?

I think these press releases I prepared for the wire service will explain it.

It's going to ruin your professional reputation.

Just wait a minute. What are you talking about? You see, they proved that Lauren

Robertson, famous art collector, an expert, bought a fake.

Now you hold on just a minute. Oh, and by the way, there is a real mask.

Right here on this island, and I've seen it.

But you never will.

Thank you all for coming. Appreciate the interview.

I'll just take you to the door.

Bye.

I don't understand.

Why?

Why? Yeah, why?

Didn't you even miss your wife last night?

She was with me.

Oh, no, that was sweet.

But this is sweeter.

You just wait a minute.

Who are you, mister?

Alan.

Oh, Lord, I should have known.

I also should have killed you in Iran.

Too late for that.

Well, I don't know about that.

Yeah.

Macho man, huh?

Well, I got news for you.

Marion doesn't know about you being in prison.

I told her you were killed in an accident over there.

She always loved you, Alan.

She still does.

So you see, you're still a dang fool.

Have a nice day, old buddy.

The Secretary of State is very anxious to set up a meeting.

A meeting.

Excuse me.

A little hopeless. Excuse me. Senor Rock, everyone is frowning. I think we

some music to cheer things up a little bit.

Splendid idea, Ms. Diaz. Have a seat.

Mr.

Woodruff, please.

What is she doing now, Mr. Rock? She's going to entertain your guests.

This is hardly the time or place for a hootenanny.

Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong You're in change by your

own sorrow In

your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow

How I hate to see you like this

There is no way you can deny it

That you're all so sad, so quiet.

Chiquitita, you and I know how the heart is coming to go and

start to live.

You will be dancing once again and the pain will end. You will have no

time for grieving.

Let me hear you sing one more.

Like you did before.

Sing a new song, chiquitita.

everything. It was, ladies and gentlemen, it was a terrible mistake.

Please.

Oh, did you see what just happened in there?

I could very well be drummed out of the diplomatic corps. This whole thing is

your fault.

Yours and that overzealous underbrained man Friday here.

Couldn't you have left well enough alone?

I'm ruined, Rock. Ruined.

Oh, I'm so sorry, Papa.

Ruined, Mr. Woodruff?

I would say that depends entirely on your values.

I suggest you examine them very carefully.

The truth?

I'm sorry.

Mrs. Robertson, but there are no flights out until tomorrow morning.

I just can't stay here any longer, Mr. Rourke. I've got to find...

Marion. I have nothing to say to you.

Marion, I'm so sorry.

I thought you knew that you were part of this frame -up.

I spent the last eight years of my life in prison.

Lauren framed me so he could have you to himself.

It's true.

He was falsely accused of smuggling and...

I'm sorry, but he's right about your husband.

I thought you were dead.

He told me you were.

Oh, I know that now.

If you'll excuse me, I just remembered something very important I have to do.

I would have done anything to get you out.

I would have waited forever.

I'm sorry.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

I never stopped.

Well, hello, dear friend.

I saw Mr. Rock leave, so I thought I'd join you.

Put the gun away, Lorne.

Listen, I want that mask.

Look, it's way too dangerous. Forget it. Alan.

I've got nothing more to lose, don't you understand?

Move.

What are you waiting for, old buddy? Get on up there and get it.

I'm telling you, Lorne, this whole place is booby -trapped.

That wasn't too difficult, now, was it?

Get it on down here.

Give it to me.

The only one who's getting out of here alive is yours truly.

before they strike again.

Oh, we are leaving.

Mr. Rock and Tattoo, they will take us away right now.

Oh, bless you.

Bless you.

We leave because I have come to know why my mother loves you.

You are a good and important man with many good and important things ahead for

you.

I leave because I love you.

There we are. Please try to understand.

May I be the first to say good riddance.

Mr.

Woodruff needs you as much as... Oh, excuse me. About as much as the

Titanic needed ice cubes. I like that.

I mean, look around you.

Mr. Woodruff is a very, excuse me, a very wealthy man. He could have anything

he wants.

Now, don't you think that if he wanted a daughter, he would have had one by

now? Mrs. Poproy.

We'll leave right now.

Maria. Maria, please.

Maria. Everything Mrs. Poproy said is true.

I'm a very ambitious and successful man, but she just made me realize that the

reason why is because what Rock said is also true.

I'm dedicated to my work because I don't know anything else.

Ever since I met and lost your mother, I've been trying to make myself believe

that loving someone and being loved wasn't important.

But that isn't true.

Maria, it would please me very much if you'd stop.

Papa, you really mean it? Yes, yes.

But, Papa, what about Tita Gina and my great -uncle and Cousin Rudolph?

Yes, they can stay, too. And may God help us all, please.

Mr. Daly?

Mrs. Robinson, I am terribly sorry about your husband.

His greed just finally caught up to him.

Least I've found Marion after all this time.

I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Yes, love is the best cure for all the ailments of our lives.

Good luck to you both. Thank you.

Miss Pumperoy, I am so glad. Gina, encantado por nada.

Adios, Rodolfo. Buena suerte.

General, general, this way, please.

General.

Muchisimas gracias.

You make my papa and me very happy. It was my pleasure, Miss Diaz. Well, Mr.

Woodruff, it appears you've inherited an entire family, huh? Yes, I have.

And believe it or not, I don't really mind.

Did Miss Pompadour get over her hangover yet?

She hasn't quite gotten over any of this yet, Tattoo.

Well, good luck to all of you. I got to kiss you. We're going to need it. Thank

you very much.

Muchas gracias, Tattoo.

Thank you.

Bye. Bye.

Ah,

you know, Tattoo, this is my kind of fantasy.

Oh, that's my line.

Hmm?