Original subtitles

morning, Tattoo.

Miles, everyone.

Miles.

Who are they, boss?

That's Mr.

Herbert Soames, his wife, Beatrice, and their daughter, Alison.

Which one has a fantasy?

Mrs. Soames. But her daughter is the one who's going to experience it.

Boss, you lost me.

Mrs. Soames used to be in the theater.

Now, her dream is for her daughter to pick up where she left off.

Mrs. Soames' fantasy is for her daughter to perform in an operetta.

Unfortunately, Miss Allison Soames has no desire to become an actress.

As for Mr.

Soames, he has a secret fantasy which, if fulfilled, will greatly influence his

family's future happiness.

I'm confused, boss. Trust me, Tattoo.

But, with a... pretty lady?

Her name is Miss Margaret Stanton.

She's an attorney with the law firm of Peabody, Melton, and Stern.

She's here to do what, Bob?

No, not to do. Actually, Miss Stanton was sent here by her firm to deliver a

check to the person holding the winning ticket on the Irish sweepstakes.

Who did win?

Who is fantasy?

Anybody I know?

Actually, you knew Ambrose Hoskins very well.

Ambrose?

Event. Which opens the door to a number of very interesting possibilities.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, you hope.

Welcome, Fantasy Island.

First it was piano lessons, then ballet, charm school, baton twirling, and now

this. I don't want to go into show business, being some silly operetta.

Why can't my mother realize that? Well, trying to live their lives over through

their children is a mistake many parents make.

Well, I can't take it much longer, Mr. Rourke.

Which operetta are you going to sing?

It's called Naughty Marietta. The character Miss Jones will be portraying,

Marietta. It's a French princess who runs away from an undesirable marriage

joining the casquette girls. The casquette girls were women who traveled

colonial Louisiana where they were bought by men in need of wives.

I think it would be best if you read the play and acquaint yourself with the

plot, Miss Holmes. I think I better warn you about something. What? I can't even

carry a tomb.

Well, perhaps we can remedy that.

Sing something, please.

Anything, just a few bars.

Go ahead.

Somewhere over the rainbow.

That's very nice.

But, um... Will you open your mouth, please?

Now, try again.

Indeed it was.

Now, Miss Holmes, open the book, and we'll be on our way.

The bump's there. The casket girls are here. The bump's there.

Yes, Miss Holmes.

Colonial New Orleans in the year 1780.

The casquette girls have just arrived from France.

Your mother wanted you to play the role of Marietta, and indeed, you will.

As quickly as you can, familiarize yourself with the book.

Hey, what are you doing?

Take care of my wife, witch. Let's go.

Get your hands off. Wait a minute. Put me down.

Mr. Roark. Mr. Roark. The book is sold.

Read the book.

Forgive me for being late, Miss Stanton. I was unavoidably detained.

Of course. Shall we get down to business? Yes. May I? Please. Thank you.

As you know, I was sent here by my firm to present this check to the winner of

the Irish Free State.

Mr. Ambrose Hoskins?

Yes. Now, according to his file, Mr. Hoskins was a retired merchant ship

captain. And for the past seven years, he worked here as your head

groundskeeper. Yes, that is true. Unfortunately, Mr. Hoskins passed away

last week.

There was another party named by the late Mr. Hoskins on the winning ticket.

Who is it, boss? What's his name?

Ambrose Hoskins?

And best friend?

Did Ambrose write that?

Yes. And I'm here on behalf of my firm to find his best friend and present him

or her with his check. That's not going to be easy.

What Tattoo is trying to say is that Mr. Hoskins was not blessed with, um...

And shall we say a very amiable personality.

You may have some difficulty locating his best friend.

I'd be most grateful to you for any help you could give me in locating his best

friend. Very well, Miss Stanton, we'll see what we can do.

Tattoo, since you are familiar with all the members of our staff, as well as

most of the island population, I want you to look into this matter at once.

And you will be in full charge.

Anything you say, boss.

And like I say, it's not going to be easy.

Excuse me.

It's ridiculous.

Absolutely ridiculous. And I'm going to speak to Mr. Roark about it immediately.

If he thinks for one moment... Ah, there he is. Mr. Roark?

I want to tell him.

Mr. Roark? Yes? We have just come from the theater and there's no rehearsal

going on.

Now, how can Alison star in Naughty Marietta when she doesn't even rehearse?

sent your daughter back in time so she could experience the true story.

You mean Alison is actually going to be Marietta? Oh, indeed.

Oh, no, no, no, no. Dear, something wrong?

Is something wrong?

When I said that I wanted Allison to appear in an operetta, I meant act in

not live it.

Oh, no.

Captain Warrington.

Dear, who's he?

He's the romantic lead in the operetta. She's going to meet him and fall

hopelessly in love with him.

Dear, what's wrong with that?

Herbert, he's a fantasy. There are no real men like him. He's perfect.

And when her fantasy's over, can you imagine her reaction to the average,

imperfect, slightly slobby real man?

Well, I suppose... No, no, no. Mr. Rourke, bring my daughter back

Oh, I'm afraid it's too late for that, Mrs. Holmes.

However, there is something I can do for you.

Then I demand that you do it immediately.

If you insist.

I insist.

Will you close your eyes, please?

You too, Mr. Holmes.

Please.

That's right.

Mr. Roar?

Herbert!

You're really blowing it, Roar.

All right, well, I'll just straighten this thing out myself.

I've got to keep Allison away from anyone named Captain Warrington.

What have you done? Where am I?

Allison. Beatrice.

Hey, Mitch. Mitch. Did you hear about old Ambrose?

About him kicking off last week?

Who cares? No, no, no, no, no. About him winning the Irish sweepstakes.

With him dead, who's all that money gonna go to?

His best friend.

Sure wish I would have treated him nice while he was still alive and kicking.

Me too.

And I bet you'll never guess who was picked to find out who Ambrose's best

friend was.

You ready for this?

Tattoo. You mean tattoo decides who gets the million bucks?

All right, all right. All right, all right. You lousy creep.

Creep? I don't creep on nobody.

Sorry for the inconvenience, miss. These men have been waiting for you women to

arrive for a long time.

Let's see. You must be... Captain Richard Warrington, at your service.

And your name is?

Alice.

I mean Marietta.

Marietta. That's a beautiful name for a beautiful woman.

Shall we?

Shall we what?

Leave. Preferably before our friend here wakes up.

Oh, I don't know if I'm supposed to leave with you or not.

I haven't read that far yet.

I beg your pardon?

Oh, what the heck?

Allison! Get away from that man!

Allison!

No, Allison!

Molly,

my beauty!

I like a woman with pluck.

I'll show you pluck!

Now, because of all that money, everybody on the island is claiming to

most best friend.

Listen, I'm really glad I bumped into you. I found this under the seat of my

car.

I wasn't sure what to do with it.

It belonged to old dad Hoskins.

Old dad Hoskins?

Yeah, I started calling him that just after he started calling me son.

You know, a lot of people used to badmouth him, but old dad was really a

crazy guy.

I miss the old guy.

Now he's up there somewhere looking down at me.

Wishing he had done something nice for me.

Wishing he had left something like money for me.

Maybe by leaving this cross in my car, he was trying to tell me something.

Maybe you should keep it.

Beatrice! Allison!

Where are you?

Where am I? How'd I get here?

For I'm a father...

You don't know how long I've waited for at least one of us

to be happy.

If Warrington keeps Allison happy for the next couple of days, I'll be the

happiest one of all.

I let the cat out of the bag. Now everyone on the island is pretending to

Hoskins' best friend.

Yes. Tattoo, perhaps you've been looking in the wrong places for this missing

millionaire.

What do you mean, Bob?

Well, just that we are all creatures of habit.

And as such, we usually keep those things we consider precious, such as

of close friendships, in a place that is most private to us.

I get it, Bob.

Ambrose Cottage.

This cottage.

Could be.

In any event, I believe it's worth checking out, shall we?

Thank you, Doctor.

How spooky, Ambrose. Almost like Ambrose is still alive.

Perhaps he is, Tattoo.

In a sense.

Tattoo, will you come here, please?

This will be of great interest to you.

The loneliness of old age is little understood by those who have not yet

in the constant shadow of death.

I have known and suffered the abuse and indignity until finally I turned away

from people.

Only one person seemed to understand what it's like to grow old, to be

companionship.

He used to come and visit me, asking for nothing, only to say hello.

I hold him as my true and only friend.

His name is... Tattoo.

Well, Tattoo, it seems you found the best friend you were looking for.

Tattoo! You're a millionaire!

Boss, I'm a millionaire.

Oh, yes.

I can believe this.

Miss Stanton, I'm a millionaire. I'm rich.

I'm rich. I can believe this. This is fantastic.

I'm rich. I'm a millionaire.

Oh, this is fantastic.

I'll see you later.

I'm rich. Hey, guys.

I'm a millionaire.

I'm a millionaire.

Where are you?

Hey, guys.

I'm a millionaire. I'm rich.

Where are you, guys?

Oh, you're in trouble, bully.

Oh, you wait and see.

I'll get even with you.

Oh.

Oh.

Where have you been?

Completely and totally lost.

Well, don't just stand there. Untie me.

Of course, of course.

Ow, Herbert.

Sorry, dear.

Ow.

Hey, what do you think you're doing?

That's my woman.

I beg your pardon, sir, but she's my wife.

I saw her first. She's my wife. She is my wife.

I saw her first.

She's mine.

I'd beg to differ with you, sir, but this woman happens to be married.

There will be no fighting over this woman.

Since the two of you have laid claim to her, the only thing to do is to award

her to the highest bidder. And who do you think you are?

I am the governor, madam.

Now I will start the bidding at 50 francs. Do I hear 60?

60 francs.

70!

80 francs. I have 80 francs.

Once.

Twice. Herbert, what are you waiting for?

That's an awful lot of francs.

Bid, Herbert.

90! 90 francs. Once.

Twice.

Sold for 90 francs.

Pay the man, Herbert.

Yes, my dear.

I'm awfully sorry, but I don't seem to have any cash.

Oh, Herbert.

You've always told me never to carry it.

Ah. What?

What is it?

Don't you take credit cards?

Eighty francs and she's yours.

Thank you, sir.

You are now legally my wife. But you, Bob.

Yes? What's my dad doing here? I don't understand.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

Allow me, please.

What is this?

What's going on?

Welcome to the presidential bungalow, Mr. Tattoo.

I hope it meets with your approval.

Mr. Tattoo? Would you care for some champagne, Mr. Tattoo?

Thank you.

Mr. Rourke? Thank you.

The chefs prepared this meal especially for you, Mr.

Tattoo. Rack of lamb, potatoes julienne, and crepe suzette.

I propose a toast to Mr.

Tattoo and his very good fortune.

Hey, Miss B, you want to join us, too?

Oh, no, I'm afraid we can't. The rule against fraternizing with the geth?

And now, if you'll excuse me, I must be getting back to work.

I trust you'll enjoy your stay with us.

Oh, and I would appreciate it if you'd stop by my office later on and see me.

At your convenience, of course.

Excuse me.

Would you like some mint jelly with your lamb, sir?

All righty. Get that business out.

Why don't you sit down and have a bite with me?

What good is all this if you can't share it, huh?

Look, I'd really like to join you, but you don't want to get me canned, do you?

So, if there's nothing else, would you please sign the check and I'll be going?

This is living, man. Yeah, for you.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Tattoo.

I can't understand how someone as pretty as you couldn't find a husband.

Who says I'm looking for one? Because you're a casquette girl.

Which means that you come to the colony to get married.

Good point.

You know, you don't have to marry one of those swamp rats.

You could always marry me.

But I don't even know you.

But I don't know you either. See how much we have in common?

You must be just starved after your trip. Let me fix you something to eat.

I wonder what happens next in this operetta.

Let's see. Act 2, page 37.

He starts to sing while he's thinking about trying to seduce me?

Sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee.

Oh, I know at last the secret of it all.

All the longing, seeking, striving, waiting,

yearning. The burning hope, the joy and idle tears

that fall.

What's all that commotion out there?

Boss, they're all going crazy.

Treasurer are asking me for loans.

Other people invite me in their yacht. My friends do like they don't even know

me anymore.

Well, that's to be expected, I suppose.

You see, a man's station in life often dictates who his friends can be.

Friends? They were more like a hit squad.

Lots of celebrities have them. It would keep the crowds away.

Ah, don't worry.

I'm sure you will adjust.

Which brings me to the reason I wanted you to see me.

I knew it.

Do you remember when we had so many guests who wanted to stay and live here

after their fantasies were fulfilled?

Yes. That's when I suggested to have a working room to make room for the new

guests.

What are you giving up?

I'm afraid you can't stay on the island any longer.

Regrettably, you'll have to leave on the morning flight.

But, boss, I love it here.

All my friends are here.

I belong here.

I am so sorry. You must believe that. And I hate to see you go.

But I'm also very happy for you.

Think of all the wonderful things you'll be able to do with your money.

Boss, you always have the answer for everything.

Do you know any way we can go around this so I can stay here?

I'm afraid not.

It's always been your fantasy to be rich, Tattoo.

Suppose I did let you stay.

What would happen?

Hundreds of people would follow your example and then we would be so

we could no longer function.

Fantasy Island would no longer exist as we know it.

Would you want that?

No, no, never.

Now you see, our hands are tied.

You do know how much I'm going to miss you, don't you?

Not as much as I'm going to miss you.

You understand, don't you?

Yeah.

Do you?

I guess I do.

What are you trying to do, kill me?

That's the least I'm going to do to you if you don't stay away!

I ain't going to. Don't.

You wait.

Look, I'll give you 50 francs if you can get her out of my house before she

wrecks it. 50 francs?

Okay. 60 francs.

No, look.

Instead of giving me money, how about helping me out?

Like making me look like a hero in front of her.

Huh?

dear, I've taken care of that rough neck.

You have?

Just like that animal to fall over dead drunk.

But Beatrice, he's not drunk.

I mean, we just... I beat him up.

Don't be absurd, Herbert.

Absolutely stunning.

Well, just like the woman who'll be wearing it.

I'd better warn you. I've never been to an honest -to -goodness ball before.

Don't worry.

I'll be beside you every moment.

I love you.

Now, where do you think you want to live?

Where do you think I should live?

New York is great.

You'd be near Wall Street.

I could get you a good price on a condo in Aspen for the skiing season.

One of the essential elements to fulfill a fantasy is patience.

Look, any place you choose is fine with me.

Thank you, Tattoo.

I'm happy you feel comfortable working with me.

Ah!

I almost forgot.

Your plane ticket.

We leave at ten sharp tonight.

Ten? But you said that we're leaving tomorrow morning on the first plane.

Too much to do.

I'll see you at the seaplane dock.

Oh, will you excuse me for a moment? I'll see you in my office, all right?

Thank you.

Oh, that's great.

I'm going to be leaving in Paris, New York, and Aspen.

You gonna come see me? Oh, I'd love to. That is, if I can ever manage to take

the time off.

Was it Mrs. and Mr. Clement with you over there?

That too, remember.

Under the present circumstances, I cannot discuss the fantasies of our

with you.

Oh, that's terrible.

I can't believe that Ambrose wanted me to leave the island.

He knows how much I like the place.

Yes.

Well, perhaps he didn't take into consideration the circumstances, you

I wonder what Ambrose would have done with the money had he lived to collect

I wish I knew.

I suggest you give some thought to it.

But, boss, I don't have the time. I gotta leave tonight.

Oh, you still have a few hours.

Perhaps something will come to you.

Something...

You may have overlooked.

But

they

seemed very happy together. I will stand by and see Allison get hurt.

She's not going to get hurt. She's having a good time. Oh, I don't want to

about it, Herbert. Just tell me how much farther it is to Captain Warrington's

house. No.

Look, Herbert, you may not care about what Allison's up to, but I do.

It's because I care that I refuse to help you.

All right.

Then I'll find her by myself.

aren't you coming?

Mom, what are you doing here?

I came to save you from that Warrington character.

But I don't want to be saved. I love him.

Oh, Mom, I'm so happy.

And I owe it all to you. If you hadn't insisted I star in this operetta, I

would have met Richard.

He asked me to marry him.

Allison, have you lost your marbles? This is a fantasy.

Captain Warrington doesn't exist.

And when the fantasy ends, so will he.

What are you doing? I'm going to get ready for the ball.

Act... Three, scene four, just like you wanted it, Mother.

Didn't you hear what I said? I'm through listening to you.

I'm going to be with Richard until the last possible moment. And when it ends,

don't look for me. Since you can't stay out of my life, I'm getting out of

yours.

First Herbert.

And now Allison.

Oh, God, what have I done?

Oh, Mr. Rourke, I don't know where you came from, but I'm sure glad to see you.

I've been trying to do what's best for my family, but everything's going wrong.

Your motives are well intended, Mrs. Holmes, but your methods, well, they

stand considerable improvement.

What do you mean?

You think you can push people into doing the right thing.

But when people are pushed too hard, they usually push back.

But I only want them to be happy. I love them.

Then you should listen to them.

Find out what they need.

Then help them find it.

Don't force them into doing things your way.

Do you think that you could wangle me an invitation to the ball and,

uh... Maybe a new dress?

You don't mess around, do you?

You will find a carriage waiting for you outside.

A carriage?

Marriage? Oh, thank you, Mr. Rourke.

Thank you.

Is something wrong, Mrs. Holmes?

Would you believe for the first time in my life I've got stage fright?

We'd better hurry, Tattoo. We don't want to miss the plane.

Is something wrong, Mr. Tattoo?

But I remember something that Ambrose told me a long time ago. What?

About a dream he had, to be back with his old friends again.

Well, he told me he wrote everything down and he was going to show it to me.

Where do you suppose he would have left such a message?

The only place it could be... Where?

The cocktail.

Come on, boss.

Where would I, boss, leave another message?

Boss, it's no use.

I don't even know what to look for.

Well, it seems important, though.

I wonder, where would a sailor keep something important, huh?

In a bottle?

In a bottle.

A bottle.

This could be it.

Boss, read it.

Dear Tattoo, I'm writing this to you because you are the only one who would

understand.

I miss the sea and the men who sailed it.

I long for their rough ways and their tall tales.

Some nights I go down to the shore and dream of a place where men of the sea

all be together again.

Where we could always hear the surf pounding against the sand.

A place where we could sit and share our dreams and remember the days when we

were young.

That's beautiful.

But it's kind of sad, too.

What are you doing?

Aren't we going to catch the plane?

No. I don't have to be a millionaire.

I'm a millionaire right here.

I make people's dreams come true.

No amount of money will make me leave that.

You mean you don't want the million dollars?

Oh, yes.

But not for me.

But for one time, I can make people's fantasy come true. All by myself.

That's right, Atul. You certainly can.

Mrs. Stanton, will you please make all the arrangements necessary, please?

What for?

For the Hornpipe Retirement Home for Mariners.

The Hornpipe Retirement Home for Mariners.

It's still night, no?

Very good, Tattoo. Very good indeed.

Oh, it should be a big white house overlooking the sea in New England.

I'm sure I can find exactly what you... what Ambrose would want. I'll get on it

right away.

Oh, thank you very much. Thank you.

Boss? Yes?

It's kind of a shame that Ambrose is not going to be there to enjoy it. Oh, he

will be, Tattoo.

He will be.

Hold it, hold it, Bob.

My turn.

Thank you.

Bob? Yes?

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

Alison? Alison,

dear, I want to talk to you. Mother, please don't spoil this for me. No, I

won't, dear. I came to tell you that I'm sorry for trying to make you do

everything my way.

It was wrong, Alison.

Oh, Mother, I love you.

I love you too, sweetheart.

Let's not fight anymore, okay? We won't.

Oh, you don't know how long I've waited to hear that. Oh, Herbert.

I believe this is our dance.

Excuse us.

There's Mr. Rourke.

I wonder if that means the fantasy's ending.

It's time to go, Mr. and Mrs. Holmes.

But Alice, what's going to happen to her?

I wouldn't worry too much, Mrs. Holmes.

I'm falling in love with someone, someone.

Girl, I'm falling in love with someone.

What's wrong?

Don't let go of me, Richard.

Please don't let it end.

What is it?

Miss Holmes, it's time to go.

I have made her go through this.

You too, Mr. Ames.

You're real?

You're not just part of my fantasy? Oh, not at all.

His fantasy was to play the male lead.

Be naughty, Marietta.

Then all this time you've just been acting.

Right up until Act 2, Scene 1.

That's when I fell in love with you for real.

Oh, Herbert.

I can't thank you enough, Mr. Rourke. Oh, not necessary. That goes the same

me. My pleasure, Mr. Holmes.

And you too, Mom, from both of us.

Oh.

Did you have a good time, Mr. Holmes?

Well, when things work out like this, who can complain?

Yes, you know I would say.

It's time to go. Oh, thank you, Mr. Rourke. Thank you so much for a

time.

Bye -bye, Mr. Rourke.

Tattoo, I'll be in Cape Cod tomorrow looking at property.

Mr. Rourke, I didn't come here for a fantasy, but I feel happier than I've

felt before.

Thank you.

Oh, Tattoo, there is a small match that I need to clear up with you.

Oh, what is it, boss? Well, it's in regard to your bills.

Bill? What bill?

Well, after all, you did have the most expensive bungalow on the island, and

then there is champagne, caviar, the finest of everything. Look.

But I gave all my money away.

It's going to take me six years to pay that bill.

Well, in that case, I'll have to charge you two.

Overhead.