Original subtitles

Good morning, boss.

Good morning, Tattoo.

Let's go.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

What those two, boss?

The gentleman on the left is Mr. Donald Quick.

His father opened a bank in Texas 60 years ago.

And when he died, his son became one of the wealthiest men in the state.

Wow. And he needs a fantasy.

Well, Mr. Quick is a romantic, like his late father.

His fantasy is to do his own glorious deeds in the style of the knights of

ancient legend.

Sounds kind of weird.

You mean like Lancelot and Galahad?

Exactly the two of them.

Who's the other guy, boss?

Well, that's Mr.

Sam Wolfe, Mr. Quick's legal advisor.

He disapproves of this whole venture.

Mr. Quick is going to need a lawyer for his fantasy?

Who knows?

He could very well find himself beyond the help of a lawyer.

Or anyone else, for that matter.

Let me guess, boss.

She wants to be the first lady's president.

After all the preparations we've attended to this past month, you don't

recognize the subject of her planning?

You mean she's a... Miss Helen Hendricks of Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Her fantasy is to be, for even a few hours, the reigning sex goddess of the

world.

Boss, she sure don't look like the picture we've been sending out.

Gee whiz, boss.

I'm sure Miss Hendricks will be surprised.

I sincerely hope it's nothing more than surprise.

This is a very dangerous fantasy.

One that could easily get beyond our control.

My dear guest, I am Mr. Rock, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

I can't believe this. Is this what I'm going to look like? Is this really going

to be me?

It is really you.

Here on Fantasy Island, it's possible by certain methods to highly concentrate

the physical characteristics inherent in every woman, to intensify her natural

beauty and sensuality, to bring them to the surface.

Well, what are we waiting for? I'm ready.

First, Miss Hendricks, um...

You must be absolutely certain you understand the danger of this particular

fantasy. You mean having men stare at me as I walk down the street?

Knowing they desire me as a woman?

You don't have to be a sex symbol for men to do that.

Oh, but I do tattoo because I've never had that experience.

And I never will except here.

Part of the build -up we've given you is the kind of reputation...

that all sex symbols seem to have.

Therefore, the attitude of men towards your role as a sex goddess may be quite

different from what you expect.

You may find yourself in a situation where you will have only your own

to fall back upon.

I don't care. I'm willing to take the chance.

Please, Mr. Rourke.

Very well, Miss Hendricks. Tattoo.

The contents of this bottle will bring about the transformation you want.

All you have to do is...

Thank you.

Satisfactory, Miss Hendricks.

Oh, yes, Mr. Roark.

Thank you.

Excuse me. I can help staring at you.

Oh, Mr. Roark, I have to talk to you before Quick gets here. Let's see, won't

you? Oh, thanks. Now, what can I do for you?

Well, you see, Mr. Rourke, Don's cousin Harold wants to have Don declared

incompetent, you see, so that he can take over the business and the family

fortune.

So I thought that maybe we could just keep all this fantasy stuff sort of

you know what I mean?

Oh, of course, of course.

And I am sure you'll be glad to stay by his side to see that nothing gets out of

hand, huh?

Oh, well, I'd love to, but I've got to... Mr. Rourke.

I'm sorry I'm late. That's all right, Mr. Quick. Have a seat, won't you? Thank

you.

A young lady twisted her ankle when I stopped her in the first aid.

Don, you shouldn't do that.

One touch in the wrong place, she could soothe the shirt off you.

Sam, you worry too much. Mr. Rourke, are we ready to begin?

Certainly. But I must first apologize for not being able to transport you back

to the age of chivalry as you might have hoped.

Well, I thought that was...

That was the whole idea. I mean, England under King Arthur and France in

Charlemagne's time.

Well, the conditions were not quite right.

But I promise you will not be disappointed, Mr. Quake. Even if we

the authentic scenery, I have something in there that will allow you to retain

the spirit of your intentions.

Tattoo? This way, gentlemen.

Say that he belongs to Don Quixote himself.

That's right. To the man of La Mancha. The best intentioned knight of them all.

In fact, when you put on this helmet, Mr. Quick, you will be Don Quixote. In

your own mind, of course.

Boss, what about Mr. Wolf?

Why, he will be Sancho Panza, naturally.

The helmet has the added power.

of enabling you to distinguish very clearly between good and evil.

You cannot lie.

Try the helmet on, Mr. Quick.

Hey, what's happening? Is this me? Is that you?

Whoa, Al.

I don't know how he did it, but I'm sure we can sue.

Don't be silly.

I am.

I am Don Quixote.

To the fray!

Roque actually did it. I am Don Quixote.

I understand why she's the world's sex symbol.

Thank you.

To my fellow members of the press, I present to you Miss Helen Hendricks, the

newest sex symbol of the world.

Several motion picture ideas have been suggested to you.

Well, I'm always open to suggestions.

Here she is.

Isn't she everything I told you she'd be, Ron?

I got eyes, man.

I could just stand here all day and watch her move.

We're the ones making them move, remember?

As a sex symbol, what traits do you admire most in a man in your life? Is it

look, intelligence, or wealth?

Yes, yes, yes!

Come on, let's get on with it.

I love it here. Excuse me, gentlemen.

Hello, Miss Hendrick. I'm Ron Barker. This is my associate, Orville Weems. Hi.

Worldwide publicity.

We'd like an exclusive with you. I'm sure these gentlemen won't mind. Pardon

Thank you very much. Thank you.

It's time for the stunt.

What stunt?

The publicity stunt.

The kidnapping.

They were supposed to brief you with all the details.

We'll get you publicity all over the world.

Kidnapping?

Look, your people are paying us a fortune, so just play along, and we'll

rest. Well, I don't know anything about it.

Trust me. Play your part.

Okay.

Back up!

All right, nobody move.

Roll the camera. Back up! Roll it.

Don't try to follow us, and no one will get hurt.

It's a gag. It's got to be a gag.

You rolling?

You rolling?

You got him, huh? I didn't expect to fight it over. Now, hold it. I ain't

the trick.

their faces, huh? They thought it was the real thing.

Sweetheart, you've got it made. You're gonna make every headline in every

newspaper all over the world. But Mr. Roark never said anything about this.

He hired the agency to do the job. We're doing it. Just relax and enjoy.

Okay, but where are we going?

To a fantastic island about seven miles offshore.

And we rented this villa for you. You'll love it.

Don't worry about anything.

We know how to take care of the world's sexiest woman.

Now, and I've had enough.

Let's just take the next plane to Acapulco.

Wolf, don't rain on my parade.

Where's your sense of adventure?

Okay, but look, at least let's stay away from the people.

If your cousin Harold ever gets wind of this action, you're going to land in a

padded cell, and he is going to be chairman of the board. I don't care if

Harold winds up with his... Do you see what

I see?

What do you see?

Six moreish nights.

Menacing a fair death.

Uh -huh. I'm sorry I asked.

To the rescue!

Welcome, Miss Hendricks.

No problem? Smooth as glass. I told you it would be. Are we the only ones here?

Well, I can assure you that three of us could satisfy all of your needs, Miss

Hendricks.

But why don't I just call you Helen?

Something's wrong here.

Will you take me back, please?

Oh, please. It's okay. Try to understand.

Look, fellas, why don't we tell the lady the truth?

You want to know the truth?

Huh?

This is a kidnapping.

What do you want?

You want money?

Don't you understand? I'm Helen.

This is just a fantasy.

Now you've got it, baby.

See, this was all my idea to...

have the number one sex symbol of the world just for myself, just the two of

Fortunately for us, Orville couldn't finance the plan himself.

But I'm sure that Ron and I will prove to your satisfaction that we're just as

ardent fans of yours as Orville is.

No, you don't understand.

We understand everything about you. We know exactly who and what you are and

what you're like.

The number one sex queen of the decade.

Sick symbol for all men of the world, huh?

What else does it understand?

I'll tell you when.

You creep. You disappoint me, Helen.

We expect and deserve full and enthusiastic cooperation, if I make

Oh, please. Shut up.

We're no different than all of your other men. It's just that we want you

exclusively for a couple of days.

Lock her in her room?

Oh. No.

You think about it a little while, you'll see that way.

Come on, sweetheart.

Oh.

You're hurting me.

Let go.

You can't do this.

What are you doing?

Stop it. No.

Well,

the Moorish nights will bother her no more. She's safe at the inn.

And I trust she's lost her taste for wandering alone.

Oh, God.

Please.

What is this, Halloween?

We'll refresh ourselves at the local tavern before our next adventure.

Oh, come on, Don. You've done your good deed. Let's get out of here.

It's fair.

It's fair Dulcinea of the legend. A picture of beauty and purity and

If that's innocence, she should be arrested for false advertising.

being carried off by the Black Knight.

To the rescue!

And don't get involved.

They'll sue us.

Suppose your cousin Harold gets wind of this.

As I suspected, the Black Knight is holding the fair Dulcinea in his lair.

She'll be in the dark tower.

Oh. boy.

I hope your cousin Harold never gets you on the stand.

Wait a minute. Look.

Opportunity is at hand, my friend.

Wait here.

My duty is clear.

Clear?

Better clear out of here.

Not fair, Dulcinea.

Sucre is at hand.

Keep away from me.

Dear Dulcinea, I mean you no harm.

I'm warning you. Dear Dulcinea.

Dulcinea, keep your distance. Stop.

Oh, I've heard it all. I want to be your friend.

No. But you really take the cake. Trust me, I won't hurt you.

Please, Dulcinea.

And I've seen it all, too. See, man?

A little whiff.

That's the kinkiest thing I've ever seen, armor. You don't understand.

See, I'm here to rescue you. Do battle with your abductor.

You're going to fight with Carl?

He's the meanest, coldest man that ever got out of San Quentin. And if he sees

us here alone, he'll kill you.

Not a bad idea, sweetheart.

Who's the clown?

Comfortable? I can't believe it. Do you think you're going to get away with

this?

We already have.

You'll go to jail for the rest of your life, all of you. No way. We set this

thing up very carefully.

Covered all of our tracks.

You'll never see us again, and no one even knows what we look like.

Passion and fire that you're so famous for.

It has to be here somewhere.

What kind of a man are you?

The kind you make me, Helen.

You make a career out of flaunting your body before men.

And when we decide to buy what you're selling, you're so offended.

Oh, you don't understand.

This is just a fantasy.

I'm not like this.

Now I understand.

I didn't know you liked it that way.

We're two of a kind after all, Helen.

No.

Not just yet.

We'll play our little game later.

I'll send the substitutes in to warm you up.

Good afternoon, John.

I'll come back about seven to repay your little mark.

You saved your strength for me, huh?

You're going to need it.

The attitude of men towards your role as a sex goddess may be quite different

from what you expect.

You may find yourself in a situation where you have only your own resources

fall back upon.

Well, you wanted to be a star.

Let's show them what a girl from South Dakota can do.

They'll be cutting each other's throats before I'm through with them.

Well, I don't know what your problem is, ma 'am, but, uh...

I'm not buying any of this crazy coyote jazz.

I'm not taking any chance with another like you either.

Now, against the wall over there.

You're not going to really kill him.

Come on, baby. There's a million bucks in this deal. You think I'm going to

it for a flake?

Come on. Murder wasn't part of the deal.

No.

Are you okay?

Who is he?

Don Quick.

But he's got this thing about being Don Quixote.

So what's your story?

I'm Sancho Ponce.

Yeah, but it's for real with him.

Then he really was trying to save me?

Yeah.

Mr. Quick, please wake up. Be okay. Come on, Mr. Quick.

Dulcinea.

We've got to get him out of here before Carl comes, too.

Great idea.

Come on, Don.

I was hoping it was you.

Nobody's going to bother us now, sweetheart.

What makes you think I'd want that?

Come on now, what kind of a game are you playing?

There's no game.

There isn't?

No, it's just you and me, baby.

One on one.

It's what you wanted, wasn't it?

You afraid your big, bad friend, Mr. Sterling, is going to break the door in

us? What makes you think I'm afraid of Sterling?

He's a mean dude.

He's in charge. Anybody can see that.

He likes to hurt people, you know.

Why don't you slow down?

Why don't you take me out of here and we'll go any place you want to go.

Did he put you up to this?

Did he?

Come on, I want to know.

Why would he do that?

I work for... It's his way of testing me.

It's no -go, baby. Get it?

Ooh, you've got a big problem.

Sorry I can't help you.

You tell the others about this and I'll... You'll do what?

Two down, one to go.

I'm really starting to hate you.

I've been described as a muddle -headed fool with frequent lucid intervals, but

I don't care what they say. I don't care.

Chivalry isn't dead so long as...

So long as one man believed in it.

Mr.

Rourke, I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you.

Your fantasy going well, I trust, Mr. Quick?

Even better than expected. Oh, I'm delighted.

Dulcinea is wonderful.

Oh.

Has she told you that the so -called abduction is in fact a conspiracy

Carl and herself to extort money from her father?

That's impossible.

Dulcinea is pure and innocent.

Perhaps you are overlooking something, Mr. Quick.

There are those traits latent in all of us which are sometimes powerful enough

to override the conscience.

But fortunately, we also possess an even more powerful quality.

I'm talking of love.

Is Dulce in love with Carl?

She believes herself to be. However, I now suspect a change in the...

direction of her affection.

Well, if only that could be in my direction, Mr. Roth.

You realize, of course, that if Carl even suspects such a thing is true, he

most certainly try to kill you both.

For that reason, Mr. Quick, I am making you a very rare offer.

The opportunity to withdraw from your fantasy before it's too late.

Now, it's unthinkable. I must... I must stay and protect Dulcinea.

A most commendable decision, Mr. Quick.

Therefore, it pains to have to inform you that a cablegram came this afternoon

from your cousin Harold's lawyers. It seems that your activities on Fantasy

Island have been reported back to them.

Texas windmills, Mr. Rock.

I'm afraid so, Mr. Quick.

What do they want? They have a very strong case.

If you do not return home at once, you will be declared incompetent.

You said the helmet does not lie?

Where good and evil are concerned, it is infallible.

I knew it.

Thank you for the opportunity, Mr. Roark, but everything I want is right

Here. Mr. Roark?

Mr. Roark?

It's already been one hour.

Well, you know how to talk, and Ron is.

It's not very funny, Mr. Gardner.

Well, Miss Hendricks was my idea, you know.

Gentlemen.

To Miss Hendricks.

I'll drink to that.

What about me?

Well, I made an appointment for seven, Orville.

You better hurry. You haven't got all that long.

Hello, Miss Hendricks.

Hello.

If you only knew how long I've been standing out there.

You know, I wanted to be the first one with you, but things just didn't work

that way.

Well, you're here now.

I've been in love with you ever since the first time I saw your photographs.

I bet you didn't know that.

Am I supposed to believe that?

Oh, sure. It's the truth.

You're just like all the rest.

Oh, no, I'm not.

You're the only one I always think about you.

Why do you want to share me with all the rest of them?

Well, I don't. It's just the way things worked out. You see, my friend Ron...

I knew he worked for this rich man, and he was...

Oh.

Things could be better with us, couldn't they?

Kind, gentle.

Do you love me?

Oh, yes.

Oh.

Oh, you've got to be alone.

We are alone.

No, no, we're not.

They're going to come back.

This is just to tease you.

They're going to come back and lock you out of the room. They told me.

What are you talking about?

You were my idea.

Then stand up for yourself.

We could go away together, just the two of us. Just the way you want.

We have to go now.

But you were my idea.

Come

on.

I'll get you out of here.

What was that?

I don't know.

Check her room, quick.

She's gone.

They're both gone.

The boat.

It's the only way off the island.

I'll take care of you.

Hurry.

Come on, we gotta get to the boat.

I can't. I think I broke my ankle.

What are you talking about, Snodhead? Well, don't be a fool.

Put the dress.

I mean... Drop your weapon.

Mr. Rourke!

Mr. Rourke!

I regret that things turned out so badly.

But I can only create the fantasy that you want.

And this is what can happen when someone reaches too desperately for fantasy.

Because, you see, even fantasy must have a touch of reality.

I think I understand.

May I add that you are a most resourceful and courageous young woman,

Hendricks.

If Carl finds us, we're gonna get killed.

I'm worried not so I can keep an eye open.

Why do you call me Dulcinea?

Dulcinea was the... the heroine in the... in the legend of

Don Quixote's recording by the writer Cervantes.

What's your real name?

It's Dulcy Merchant. My father... Marcus Merchant. You know him?

He does business with several of my banks. He's worth a couple of dollars.

Twenty million.

Tell me about you.

As they say, what you see is what you get.

In the world of business, to do what is right and just is not always popular.

There are people who believe...

I am an idiot.

You're not. I am. I did something I knew was wrong. You're kind and you're

gentle. And you see nothing but good in people.

Better than that, you bring the good out in them.

I know.

Do I detect a... a change in the direction of your... affection?

You most decidedly do.

Don, he's out there with a rifle.

To be sure, put this on.

It will show you things as they truly are.

Don't look at me, look at Carl.

I don't need this to see the way things truly are.

The way things truly are is we're going to get killed.

Your land.

Long live.

Being a hero wasn't so bad after all.

I say...

Well, Miss Hendricks, I only wish your visit could have been more pleasant for

you. Well, sometimes the most bitter medicine is the best for whales, you Mr.

Rourke. Medicine?

Are you sick?

Not any more tattoo.

Miss Hendricks means that there is much more to truly being a woman than merely

that which meets the eye.

What will happen to my admirers?

The island on which they rented the villa belongs to a foreign government.

have their own methods of dealing with such admirers.

I suggest you try not to think any more about it.

Now that I can handle.

Bye -bye.

Goodbye, Miss Hendricks.

You'll be happy to know, Mr. Quick, that Carl has been apprehended by the

Fantasy Island Police and all the money was recovered in time.

Well, the real joy is, don't say, Mr. Rourke, as you predicted, a change in

direction of her affection.

This time for good.

And I do mean good.

We can only hope now for an equally successful solution to your legal

Oh, well, when Marcus Merchant gives evidence that Dad helped to save his

daughter's life and his million dollars.

I would say that the only one that's going to be declared incompetent is

Harold.

Thank you, Mr. Wolf. Goodbye, Mr. Wick. Goodbye.

Mr. Merchant. Bye -bye. Mr. Wolf.