Original subtitles

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

This is most peculiar.

I don't recall a nun asking for a fantasy.

Do you know her, Tattoo?

Her name is Sister Veronica.

She come from California, you see.

She runs a coven school and also a vineyard. Sister Veronica needed her

-weeny fantasy.

And you were so busy that I... You thought you would do me a favor and

her teeny -weeny fantasy by your teeny -weeny self.

Right, boss.

You're not mad at me, are you?

That will depend largely on the sister's fantasy.

How is the piece of cake?

Her coven is going broke.

And the people in the valley are poor.

Let me see if I can guess the rest.

The sister's fantasy is to pay her debts and provide jobs for all the people in

her valley by winning the gold medal in the Fantasy Island wine tasting contest,

huh? You've got it, boss.

But some of the finest wine growers in the world are entered in the contest, my

friend. How can you be sure the sister's vintage is good enough to compete?

But boss, this is Fantasy Island.

Everything is possible.

Mr. Harry Simpson, a paper goods salesman all the way from Boise, Idaho.

He looks excited.

Why is that, boss? Why, his fantasy, of course. And I must admit, it is rather

intriguing. You see, Mr. Simpson believes that somewhere out in that

four billion people is his exact double.

You know, boss, I bet I know what Mr. Simpson's fantasy is.

Really? I bet he wants to meet his double.

Oh, it's quite a bit more than that, too.

You see, Mr. Simpson, who believes his own life to be rather dull and

uninteresting, not only wants to meet his double, but change places with him.

But, Bob, his double could be anybody.

That could even be dangerous.

Yes.

I've already warned Mr. Simpson of that possibility.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Isles.

Mr. Rourke, your assistant tells me I have to get a new wardrobe.

Do you object, Mr. Simpson? No, no, it's just that I brought plenty of clothes

with me. Ah, but your double's a very fancy dresser. You see, he has an image

maintain. There he is now.

You did it. You really did it.

I know you said you would, but I didn't think... I mean, I didn't expect you.

And a ladies' man to boot.

Your double is more than just a ladies' man, Mr. Simpson.

His name is Vincent Brandon.

And his friends, your friends this weekend, if you decide to go through

your fantasy, call him Vince.

Mr. Brandon makes his living as a professional gambler. His specialty is

blackjack for very high stakes, always.

Wow. A gambler.

I couldn't have asked for a more exciting double. And he, Vince, will

me take his place?

Your double will be pleasantly diverted on the other side of the island.

But I... I feel obligated to warn you once more, Mr. Simpson.

A man with Mr. Brandon's lifestyle can acquire enemies.

There could be an element of danger in your fantasy.

For a chance to live a life like his? Probably the most exciting weekend in my

life? It's worth a little risk. Now, I want to go through with my fantasy, Mr.

Rourke. Well, in that case, Mr.

Brandon... Your driver is waiting to take you to your yacht.

My yacht?

Yes, it's conveniently moored alongside our floating casino.

Now you can begin your impression of Vince Brando, gambler and ladies' man.

Yes.

Tattoo?

En route, you may stop by your bungalow and pick up a new wardrobe.

Would you mind showing Mr. Simpson to his bungalow, please?

Yes, sir.

Thank you. Thank you.

I brought

this wine all the way from France.

And when you taste it, you will see how good the wine is going to be.

One for you and one for me.

A fine nose.

Our grapevines are the same rootstock as one of the finest wines in France.

Les Petites Soirelles.

That's the burgundy of the Little Sisters.

Magnificent.

Truly a magnificent wine, sister.

If your Santa Rosarita wine tastes anything like its French cousin here,

have an excellent chance of winning the contest, sister.

You can say that again.

Stop gaping like a beached codfish.

Fine example for young, impressionable, sensitive boys.

I was merely looking at this stately tree, my precious.

It looks like it might be a pinappine or perhaps the pecky... Never mind.

Cypress. I couldn't help overhearing Rourke's conversation. If her wine is as

good as they seem to think, we could lose the gold medal.

That's impossible, my precious.

I mean, my Fernandel Rouge this year is absolutely superb. It's never been

better. That little old nun doesn't have a prayer.

Nun doesn't have a prayer.

Shut up.

Gentlemen.

Get me some of that wine in this glass.

And don't let anybody see you.

Papa.

Excuse me, sir. Do you have the time?

Never mind.

Thank heaven.

You cannot believe how wonderful this wine is. It's disgusting.

That wine is going to take the gold medal from us?

We cannot let that happen.

You certainly can't. I'm determined to buy a summer home this year and we need

the money. You must take action, Armand. You absolutely must.

I'm going to take action, all right.

Oh, exactly. Drastic action.

No, no, no.

No?

Now I start living like Vince Brandon.

Hi.

Vince! Vince!

Oh, Vince, I hate to trouble you, but we've got a problem. She's the problem.

Little Miss Muffet over here seems to think you asked her out to dinner

instead of me.

But he did.

That's baloney. Tell her, Vin.

Easy, girls, easy.

Obviously, there's been a breakdown in communication here.

Tell you what.

I'll take you both out to dinner. How's that?

Both of us? Together?

Something wrong with that?

No, but you always said two at a time isn't quite your style.

Well, as they say, styles change.

Boss?

Hey, boss.

Casino's approved a line of credit for $100 ,000.

Hope it's enough for you.

Uh, sure. I'll try to make it stretch.

Thanks. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Uh, Jimmy wants to see you.

Jimmy who?

Oh, come on, boss.

He said it's important. He's up at the bar waiting for you. Uh, sure.

Uh, back in a second.

Be right with ya.

Dumb game for kids.

Okay, checked out the casino.

Four blackjack tables. They all use four decks and the dealers like to reshuffle

a lot.

That's a problem.

Means I really gotta be on my toes.

Another problem's the pit boss.

Worse than Monte Carlo.

No kidding.

Watching you every second.

Saw a couple of counters get nailed before they ever got started.

We can handle it, though.

Just make sure you look for my signals and do it real casual -like.

Your signals?

Yeah, that's another thing. I think we ought to mix them up.

How about this?

Every time I want you to take a hit, I'll yawn.

And when I want you to stand pat, I'll fold my arms like this.

And don't look at me unless you have to.

Is there something wrong, Uncle Vince?

No. Uncle Vince?

No. No, nothing's wrong, Jimmy. I'm just thinking how lucky I am.

I mean, I couldn't do it without you, could I?

Not unless you found yourself another poor sucker who was unlucky enough to be

genius.

See you at the casino.

Oh, Mr. Rock, I hope I'm not interrupting anything important.

Oh, not at all, sister, not at all. Please come in. Thank you. Is your

to your satisfaction?

Lovely, thank you. And as additional thanks, I would like you to have some of

our Santa Rosarita Burgundy.

Oh. The least I can do is to replace the bottle of its cousin from France that

Tattoo donated earlier.

I'll get some glass. I'll be back. You are most generous, sister.

Oh. No, you and Tattoo are the generous ones.

By fulfilling my fantasy, my wine, win the gold medal, you will bring happiness

and opportunity to hundreds of needy and deserving families and also save the

convent. I must caution you to guard your optimism, sister. You haven't won

gold medal yet.

Oh, but I'm sure it will all work out right, Mr. Rourke. I believe that,

absolutely.

I've got something.

That's right, sister.

Well, I'm going to take a little nap.

It's been a long trip.

You see, I don't drink, but I do want you to enjoy the wine.

All right, sister.

This one is a blip.

Without a doubt, the most abominable beverage I have ever tasted.

The original bottle from France was excellent.

But this is terrible.

Boss, Sister Veronica can win the medal with this potion.

What are we going to do? You guaranteed her fantasy, my friend. I don't know

what you will do.

Then I don't know what I'm going to do either.

I bet I'll come up with something fast.

Hey, Vin.

When are we going to dinner?

In a minute.

Where's Jimmy? On the bell, as usual.

Be back in a second.

Spend a lot of time up here?

Enough.

What are you driving at?

Oh, I thought maybe we could do something.

Yeah, like what?

Oh, I don't know, like baseball?

Uncle Vince, you're on the sauce again.

Well, didn't you ever play baseball?

A little, with my dad.

But you know how long ago he died.

Oh, yeah.

Look, on the way over here, I saw a store where I think we could pick up

gloves and stuff.

How about if we go out and hit a few this afternoon, huh?

But what about all your friends?

I'll get rid of them.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

Hey.

Hey.

I don't understand. What are you doing?

Oh, chemistry.

Chemistry, boss.

I'm just trying to make Sister Veronica's wine taste better.

And am I to have the dubious honor of tasting the first new batch?

You've got it, boss.

I've got it.

But Tattoo, don't you realize alcohol is potentially...

Closet.

Back to the old drawing board.

Well, I should think so.

You know, I was thinking on the way out here.

How long have we been together now, anyhow?

Two years, five months, and 13 days.

Been counting, huh?

You know it.

I, uh... I guess you kind of miss your dad.

What's with you today?

With me?

You're acting weird.

Look about Mom and Dad.

Before, you told me not to talk about him because you said that won't bring

back. Now you're asking me if I miss him.

You seem kind of down in the dumps. I was just trying to figure out why,

all.

Are you trying to set me up for something, Uncle Vince?

No, Jimmy, I'm... Come on, let's play

a little ball, huh?

Oh, it's you, Mr. Rock. Won't you come in? Thank you, Sister.

I had a lovely nap.

I do hope that you and Tattoo enjoyed my wine.

Oh, it was an unforgettable experience, Sister Veronica, which is precisely why

I've come to see you.

After sampling your wine, I came to a very firm business decision.

I would like to purchase your entire stock of Santa Rosalita Burgundy now,

before the judging takes place. I, of course, will pay fair market price.

I see. Then you believe that the outcome of the competition will affect the

price of my wine. Oh, I do, sister, I do.

I expect to make a fortune.

And if I should fail...

To win the gold medal.

Then the market price of my wine would drop.

And you could lose a great deal of money, could you not?

Well, yes, yes. But that's a gamble I'm willing to take.

No. No, Mr. Rourke. I appreciate your generous offer. I know you're only

to safeguard my interests.

Oh, no. It's not necessary.

As I told you before, I have perfect faith.

But, sister, we... Don't worry, Mr. Rourke. All will be well.

Hit it.

Are you all right?

Let me see.

I don't know how much that hurts.

I'm fine.

Look, don't be afraid to cry.

If that's what you feel like doing, just go ahead. Let it out. I don't cry.

Uh -oh.

Blather, the godfather himself.

The godfather?

Don't worry.

He's not going to shoot you yet.

He only owned $225 ,000.

Dollars?

Hiya, Vince.

Jimmy.

That's a nice cap.

Thanks. You got something for me?

Uh, the deadline's not here yet.

The cutting are kind of close, aren't you, playboy? I mean, even with the whiz

kid here, winning a half a mil in one casino is going to be rough.

Where'd you get that?

Half a million?

It's only $225 ,000.

With the interest, it's $500 ,000.

You're really going to have to be on, kid.

Unless, of course, you want your uncle floating in a lagoon.

You don't scare us, Lassiter.

I like this kid.

Not only has he got it upstairs, but he's stuffed.

He's got potential, real potential.

Yeah. Well, you should show more respect for him. I mean, conning him this way.

It's so degrading.

What are you talking about?

I mean, playing ball in a park.

Look, kid, I don't know what he told you, but I know he hates sports with a

passion.

Yeah, that's right.

I should have known it was too good to be true.

Oh, hey, Jimmy.

Why'd you need to sucker me?

Oh, Jimmy. Hey, wait.

They'll still come back.

He's never let you down yet.

Jimmy?

Of course, Mr. Tattoo.

I've got to make sure that sister's wine wins.

Even if I have to cheat.

Well, welcome, Mr. Brandon.

I hope our casino meet with your approval. Mr. Rourke.

Mr.

Rourke.

Mr.

Rourke, Vince Brandon is a phony.

He's been using an innocent 12 -year -old kid. His nephew. I know all about

Jamie, Mr. Simpson.

You know?

Then why didn't you...

Why didn't you tell me? Oh, I only tell my guests what they need to know.

Beyond that, I must assume they will rely on their instincts, you see. On

survival instincts, you mean. I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson, I don't follow you.

Oh, I think you do.

I think you knew you were setting me up as a patsy with Frank Lasseter.

In one fell swoop, I go from being a carefree, yacht -owning playboy to some

poor sucker who owes a half a million dollars and is being measured for a

overcoat if I don't ante up. Now, Mr. Rourke, that was not my fantasy. Ah, but

must disagree with you, Mr. Simpson. Your fantasy was not only to change

with your double, but also to bring some excitement into your otherwise dull and

uninteresting life.

Hmm?

Jimmy, I've been worried sick.

I'll bet.

Come on, we're wasting time.

Hey.

Hey.

Come on, we're getting out of here. No arguments.

Are you nuts?

I don't know. Maybe.

Where are we going?

As far away from this joint as we can get.

What about the 500G?

What about Latheter?

You'll have to wait. Right now I'm more concerned about what happens to you.

Hey.

Are you, mister?

You don't act like my Uncle Vince.

My name is Harry Simpson.

I'm... Who?

Now to replace the scissor bilge with fresh organic.

Thank you.

Uncle Vince isn't such a bad guy.

I mean, he doesn't beat up on me or anything.

Well, what's lousy is he's using you to bail himself out.

Yeah? Well, what's the difference?

Once your fantasy's over, I'll be going back to him anyway. Look, there is no

way I'm going to let you go back to him. You understand?

You really mean it?

I'm not going to no foster home.

What I meant was, well, how would you like to come

live with me?

I never had any kids.

My wife and I were going to, but she died before.

Anyway,

I don't know what kind of a father I'd be.

It'd be great.

Look,

I don't know how this is going to work exactly.

From what you say, I gather your uncle does have legal custody of you.

That's right, Mr. Simpson.

And that's just the way it's going to stay.

Sorry, kid.

I'm not coming with you.

I'm not.

I'm afraid you don't have any choice.

Mr. Brandon, Jimmy may have to live with you, but my guess is you're not going

to be able to get him to work for you ever again.

Right, Jimmy?

Right.

That being the case, you've got a couple of big problems.

Lassiter and the half million dollars.

My problems?

You're forgetting one thing. As of this moment, you are me.

Nothing's forcing me to go back to that casino.

But unless one of us shows, Lassiter's going to come looking, isn't he?

No. As for me, well, I can just lay low until my plane leaves. After that, I'm

just plain old Harry Simpson again.

But you, you're going to be Vince Brandon for the rest of your life.

You got something in mind?

Okay.

We'll play.

But if we win, square things with Lassiter.

You give me custody of Jimmy.

And if you lose, then I take the consequences.

Taking a big chance, Mr. Simpson.

Now, Jimmy is good, but there's no guarantee. We got a deal or not?

Yeah.

Uh, there's just one thing.

Just remember this. When Vince Brandon plays blackjack, he plays an open hand.

All cards face up.

Is that your trademark?

Flamboyant is a word some people use.

Helps me keep an accurate count.

I wish you luck.

Both of you.

And now to complete our preliminary judging, we have the Burgundy of the

of Santo Rosarito.

The wine of Santa Rosa Rita is superb in all particulars. It will now move on to

the finals against the entry of the Fernandel Guarneri.

Now that we have reached the first plateau, I must say I'm very relieved.

How about it, Bud?

Surprised? I am puzzled.

Deeply puzzled. Will you excuse us, sister? A word, will you, please?

The gold medal comes down to you and that little nun, Armand. And if she

I'm through being the gentle flower of your dreams.

Please, Blanche, don't say that.

I'm doing the best I can under very difficult circumstances.

I think we ought to switch the labels of our wine under her bottles and vice

versa.

Benny, there are times when I am convinced you are flesh of my flesh.

That's brilliant.

Leave everything to me, huh?

That gold medal is as good as in our heads.

And I'll put our leaders on her bottles.

You have a hundred thousand bucks worth of credit. Yeah, right.

Just remember, you gotta act like a high roller. And make sure you don't blow it

all at once.

Oh, Harry, another thing is, Lasseter's only giving us till four o 'clock this

afternoon.

So we gotta have the half mil by then, or else.

Good evening, Mr. Brandon.

We've been expecting you.

Hi.

Well, how's everybody doing?

Winning, I hope.

Let's start with 10 ,000.

Keep it friendly.

Oh, thank you, miss.

Mr. Brandon, you have an 18.

Do you wish an additional card?

No, I'll pay these.

The house has 16.

The house wins with 20.

Sister,

will you please?

Yes, thank you.

Sister Veronica, I'm afraid the two has a small confession to make.

Oh?

Well?

Well, it seems that he exchanged one bottle of his French Burgundy for one of

yours. He did what?

Why?

Because your wine is the pit.

I'm sorry, but it's the truth.

It is?

I'm afraid so, sister.

Well, I wouldn't know because, of course, I've never tasted it. But I did

them follow the recipe exactly.

And, of course, the root stock is the same. So how could it be?

Climate, soil conditions.

There are many variables which might account for the failure of the wine of

Santa Rosarita.

Don't worry.

We still have the final judging.

I'm confident that everything will work out to fulfill my fantasy one way

or another.

But, Tattoo, no more pranks. Things will right themselves without trickery.

Well, they say faith can move mountains.

But I can faith change Belgium into Burgundy.

But we travel.

house wins again.

I haven't won a hand yet.

Excuse me, Mr. Randall. May I see you privately for a minute?

I'll be right back.

I hate to do this to you, especially when the cards seem to be going against

you, but I couldn't help noticing that Jimmy is now assisting you as a

counter. Oh, now, look, Mr. Lord. No, no, no, you look, Mr. Simpson.

It wasn't too long ago...

that you were shocked to find out he was being exploited by his uncle, you

remember? Yes, but that was different. Oh, that was different. I see.

I see.

Well, in any case, I'm afraid not only are counters illegal, but we have an 18

-year -old age limit on those allowed in the casino.

Are you saying that Jimmy has to leave?

I am not an unreasonable man, Mr. Simpson. I will therefore allow Jimmy to

remain for the next few minutes, but...

He will not be allowed to act as your counter.

Is that clear?

But I have to come up with better than a half a million dollars in the next ten

minutes or else.

Well, in that case, good luck, Mr. Brandon.

$10 ,000.

$20 ,000.

And the dealer has $19 ,000.

You win, sir.

You win $10 ,000.

That's a whole 20 ,000 ride.

You have

14.

Do you wish another card, sir?

And four is 18.

The house has 17.

Brandon wins.

$20 ,000.

Mr.

Brandon, you have 16.

Would you like an additional card?

Yes, please.

An 8. That makes 17.

I'll stand.

Card.

A queen.

That's 22.

You win $40 ,000, sir.

How much have I got now?

320 ,000.

300 points.

If I win, I've got... 640 ,000.

640 ,000.

That's enough to pay off the house, Lassiter.

Have a nice little nest egg for Jimmy and me.

Shoot the works.

Brandon has 17.

Dealer has an 11.

And two is 13.

The house needs a four to win.

and a jack.

You win $640 ,000.

We did it! We did it!

This will

conclude the gold medal tasting between our two worthy finalists, the wines of

Santa Rosarita and Fernandil.

Force on to both entrants. Enter them.

Now.

The wine of Santa Rosarita is absolutely superb.

And now the Fernandelle.

Did you goof up again?

No, that's my wine. It's just her label.

I told you it was a very good year.

Assassins! The gold medal winner is the Burgundy of Montauro.

Congratulations.

No!

That's my wine you like, not hers.

Bernadette Burgundy.

My son and I switched labels on the bottles earlier.

You can peel the label off the bottle to see if it's not the truth.

What?

He's right.

Well, despite the fact that your wine is absolutely marvellous, you, sir, are a

shame and a disgrace to the winemakers of the world, and I refuse to award a

medal to such a scoundrel, even if technically your name will have to be

as this year's winner.

I'm very sorry, Sister, but your wine is absolutely atrocious. I must go and

purge my palate.

Congratulations, Armand. Even without the medal, winning the contest is enough

to make the price of our wine skyrocket, and now we'll be able to afford all the

things I want to do.

What's the first thing you're going to do when we're rich, Papa?

The first thing I'm going to do is get a divorce.

Uh, young woman, excuse me, how would you like to meet a wealthy wine parent?

Armand, that vineyard is community property. If you want a grape left to

name, you get back here.

It's all my fault, sister.

I'm sorry.

I should never have promised something and I couldn't keep it.

But you only made those promises out of the goodness of your heart.

I'm sure Tattoo is grateful for that, sir. And perhaps we should both be

thankful for your amazing demonstration of unshakable faith.

What do you mean, Mr. Roark?

Well, only that my curiosity was aroused by the ghastly wine you grew. I'm

sorry, sister, but it was ghastly. I'm sorry.

Wine... which by rights should have been as noble as its predecessor. So I had

the soil of your vineyard analyzed, and this is the geologist's preliminary

report. Your wine was undrinkable because it was grown on a pool

of oil.

Oil? Oil?

Oil. Sister, you're going to be rich.

The whole valley is going to be rich.

Sister, after all, you got your fantasy.

I never doubted it for a moment.

That's odd.

Neither did I.

Boy, that kid is something else, Vince.

The way he maneuvered himself out there tonight, that's pure class.

What do you say?

You loan him to me for a little while.

No way.

Sorry to hear you say that, Vince.

Lou.

I guess I'll have to take him.

It's all right, kid. Come here. Come here.

It's all right, kid. Hey, let him go.

I believe my friend here made a request.

Let the boy go.

It's okay.

It's amazing, isn't it, Frank?

From now on, Jimmy is out of the business.

Now take your money and get out.

Sure.

Okay, Vince.

Okay, Vince.

Mr. Brandon, I don't know how to thank you. You came just at the right moment.

Look, no speeches, okay?

You just take good care of him.

Do a better job than I did, or I'll come looking for you.

Take it easy, kid.

Love seeing you.

Jimmy. Simpson,

this is for you. Oh, what is it? A legal document finalizing transfer of

custody. I suggested Mr. Brandon he have it drawn up before he left so that now

you can adopt Jimmy.

Boy, you don't leave anything to chance, do you?

Quite the contrary. You know what they say, Mr. Simpson.

The odds always favor the house. And on Fantasy Island, you might say that I am

the house.

Thanks again.

You're very welcome. Thank you.

Bye -bye.