Original subtitles

Good morning, Buck.

Good morning, Tattoo.

Don't you see anything different about me?

Oh, now that you mention it, yes.

I have a feeling you are imitating the Frankenstein monster.

Though I am at a complete loss to explain why.

Well, it's to scare off the people who pick on me because of my size.

Well, with all due respect, may I suggest that you imitate the

monster at some other time and meet me at the plane dock to welcome our

guests, or have you forgotten?

Smiles, everyone, smiles.

Mr. Cornelius Whistlefather, a locksmith and Boy Scout leader from Milwaukee,

Wisconsin. What's his fantasy?

He's an expert on the First World War tattoo, more especially the flying aces

that war.

Now, this year, his scout group has asked him to give a lecture on this, his

favorite subject.

What does he want from us?

The opportunity to experience the Great War, as it was called firsthand.

He's a fine pilot, too, and for this weekend, he wants to be a flying ace of

World War I.

World War I?

Boss, can we really do that?

Miss Helen Phillips from Poughkeepsie, New York. She has spent her entire adult

life caring for hospital patients on a volunteer basis while working as a

librarian at Vassar College.

What a fantasy, boss.

Miss Phillips wants to shed half her age. She wants to be 25 years old again.

Boss, can you really fix it that she be 25 years old again?

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rock, your host.

Welcome, Fantasy Island.

Here we are.

Well gentlemen, shall we go?

Oh, this is unbelievable.

Why, it's almost an exact replica of a World War I officer's club.

Yes. In fact, it's very like the headquarters of the famed group of

pilots who came over on their own to fight alongside the French.

The Lafayette Escordel.

Precisely. You amaze me, Mr. Rourke. They were the greatest heroes of the

They had such fantastic style and elan.

Elan? Oh, they had that too, huh?

That's great. Will they be part of my fantasy, too, Mr. Muroc?

Perhaps.

I had hoped to offer a toast to your adventure, Mr. Weaselfather.

Weiselfather.

Weiselfather, but the liquor cabinet seems to be locked.

Ah, well, the lock has not been invented that can keep this locksmith out.

My pick cover?

And my pick.

You don't get to see locks like this much anymore.

Brandy? Perfect.

To Manfred Count von Richthofen. The greatest flying ace of them all.

Von who?

Von Richthofen, Tattoo. He was called the Red Baron.

Eh, well, Mr. Weaselfather.

Weiselfather. Weiselfather, Tattoo and I must get back to our guests.

I hope your fantasy lives up to your expectations.

Oh, uh, you do understand, don't you, that if you can go back to the era you

wish... You will be quite beyond my help should you encounter trouble.

Yes, well, I owe this one to my boys, Mr. Rourke.

It's my only real chance to tell them about the Great War, and I can't pass it

up. Well, in that case, Mr.

Weiselfaber... Weiselfaber. Weiselfaber.

A voto senti.

A voto... A voto... A voto... A voto... Down the hatch.

Mr.

Rock!

Mr. Rock!

What happens now?

Mr. Rock!

Mr. Rourke is amazing.

I really am back in World War I.

Is that Kubo?

Frank, I think Corvalli went down with that first wave of Falkirk.

Falkirk was running out of planes and pilots.

That new triplane of theirs makes me feel like I'm flying in a rowboat.

Well, howdy, I'm Tex.

Hi, are you the new hero?

The new hero, yes. Well, my name is Cornelius Weiselfarber.

Oh, yeah, Weiselfarber. I saw your name on the roster sheet.

You did?

Hey, you clowns, come here and meet the certified hero they sent over to save

your tail.

Come on, Corny. It's eat, drink, and be merry time. Tomorrow we die.

Forget tomorrow.

You're due up here right after lunch.

Wow, that's terrific.

Do I get a plane?

Mr. Vork, can you really make me look 25 again?

The two?

Thank you.

within this vial contains a very special potion.

Certain legends claim it can give the appearance of youth, if only

The vial contains three doses, each to be taken precisely at 12

-hour intervals, if you are to maintain the effect.

Now, just drinking that is going to make me young again?

There is only one way you can find out.

Boss, don't you think she should sit down first?

Oh, perhaps that too is right. Why don't you sit down, Miss Phillips?

Mr.

Rourke, this is incredible.

What do I do now?

Well, I would say now, Miss Phillips, you begin to enjoy your fantasy.

I beg your pardon, did I get your way?

Yes. Yes, you did.

I'm David Hanks.

Helen Phillips.

Are you Sola?

Yeah, yeah, yes, I am.

In that case, I wouldn't be jeopardizing life and limb if I asked you for a

drink, would I?

Are you Captain Weissel, officer? Yes, I am. Is this my plane, corporal? Yes,

sir, it is. Good. It is?

Are you kidding me?

That's fantastic. But, corporal, do you know that this is a real SE -5?

Yes, sir, it is. I've been waiting for you.

And, sir, you're already ten minutes late taking off for the patrol.

Very well, corporal. Here we go now.

Always test your guns before you take off.

Remember that, Corporal.

Yes, sir.

All right, Corporal, let's get this thing off the ground.

Mission.

Contact.

All right, Johan.

Here I come.

This has got to be the greatest fantasy in the whole world.

Out of my way, you clowns. Here comes Ace Weisselbauer.

Eat your hearts out, you groundhogs down there.

A red triplane.

A red triplane?

The Red Baron flew one of those.

Helen,

today was wonderful.

Norcling, water skiing.

I feel like a born -again teenager.

David, I've had a marvelous time.

You are Mr. Rourke?

Yes. What can I do for you, sir?

My name is Crane. George Crane. How do you know Mr. Crane?

I am looking for a lady named Helen Phillips. Her landlady said that she

here to Fantasy Island.

I see. And what is your interest in Miss Phillips, if I may ask?

Ah, I am going to marry her.

Oh, you and Miss Phillips are engaged, are you?

No. Oh?

Not exactly.

No?

What I mean is... Sit down, Miss Phillips.

Thank you.

Yes. You were saying? Oh, you see, I have been working as head librarian at

Vassar for the past 20 years.

And for 15 of those years, I have been kind of sweet on Helen. Oh, sweet enough

that we go to dinner and movies every Saturday night.

So I figured that we would be husband and wife by the end of the year

at her age.

She really doesn't have too much of a choice.

Where is Helen, Mr. Rourke?

Well, as a matter of fact, we do have a Helen Phillips on the island.

Would you take a look out this window?

Is that your fiancée?

That girl is a lot younger.

Well, it's quite obvious that a mistake has been made. I'll arrange passage for

you on the next flight out.

No, Mr. Roark.

But you see, my Helen is still somewhere on this island.

Well, I plan to find her and take her back home with me.

I can't believe it.

What, Helen, that I had a marvelous time with you? No.

Know that you're an automotive engineer.

I mean, you look so young.

You see, at heart, I'm a closet race car driver.

Every chance I get.

And the engineering helps support my habit.

A young Barney Oldfield.

Hmm, I like that.

How do you know about Barney Oldfield?

I mean, he did his driving before you were born.

Well, I read about him.

Librarians do read, you know.

Listen, um... Mr.

Rourke is hosting a masquerade ball tonight. It's a come -as -your -own

affair.

And what, Miss Phillips, may I ask, are you going to masquerade as?

That, Mr.

Hanks, is for me to know and you to find out.

He's coming around.

Blind fool nearly killed me.

Some fantasy.

Where am I? Who are you people?

I am Monique. This is my father.

And these are my brothers.

You are all right, monsieur.

Sure, I'm fine.

It takes more than a knock on the head to ground all corny wheezing and

whizzing.

Where's my plane?

We have hidden it from the Germans.

Our men will repair it tonight.

You are very lucky, monsieur.

Few men have battled the Red Baron and live to tell about it.

Yes, well, that's all very well and good, but if you'll just tell me how I

get back to Rourke's house... The Red Baron?

Then it really was him.

We found this when we were hiding your plane, monsieur.

A lockpick.

A lot of intelligence will never send an American pilot.

Monsieur.

Monsieur.

You are not the expert with locks.

We have requested one who can speak German.

If you are from Allied intelligence, monsieur, then you would know the code

words.

The code words.

Yes, the code words.

Could you give me a hint?

He is a spy.

That's it. He is a spy.

Fools. Do you not see that he has hit his head and cannot remember anything?

Bien.

Monique is right.

We must get the bush plants tonight.

If he is a spy, it is a risk we must take.

If he's a spy, I will kill him with my bare hands.

I trust your fantasy is working out well, Miss Phillips?

Thanks to you.

Miss Phillips, I should remind you that there is a time limit on your fantasy.

Mr. Rourke, I know how old I really am.

Tattoo, I see you have a new disguise to discourage people from picking on you,

huh? How do you like it?

Fearful, huh?

Very fearful, Tattoo. A real terror.

I'm surprised that the ladies would even dance with such a monster.

No problem, boss.

Watch it.

Excuse me.

Oh, did I frighten you, Miss Phillips?

You know my name? If you'll excuse me, I have other guests to attend to.

Mr. Ward, what are you trying to do to me?

I'm afraid I don't understand, Miss Phillips.

You know perfectly well who George Crane is. Are you trying to sabotage my

fantasy?

Perhaps I'm trying to enhance it.

Look. George is all right, and I owe him an explanation sometime, but I can't do

it now.

As you wish, Miss Phillips. Will you excuse me?

It is you, isn't it?

You know, I don't know what is going on around here, or how you did this,

but I do know one thing for sure.

You are Helen Phillips from Poughkeepsie, New York.

I'm terribly sorry, but you're making a big mistake.

Helen, it's me, George Crane. You're hurting me.

Something wrong here?

Will you go?

I know that I'm right.

I asked if something's wrong.

Helen.

Friend of yours?

Oh, case of mistaken identity.

Would you care to dance?

Oh, in case you hadn't guessed, I'm Bernie Olsen.

Oh.

Helen.

Do you believe in love at first dance?

I didn't.

Until now.

This is not going to work, Monique. I mean, I speak a little Milwaukee German,

but this is ridiculous.

I mean, why don't you just tell me where my plane is and let me go back to it? I

understand, brave one.

You're like the bird with the wings clipped.

You wish to be in the sky dueling with the Bosch.

Yes, well, I did come here to fly, not to spy.

But please, we cannot get the plans from Richthofen safe without an expert

locksmith. Well, I just can't go walking right into von Richthofen's

headquarters. But you can.

It is a party.

To honor Baron von Richthofen.

The Red Baron will be there in person?

Cornelius, we need you.

I need you.

Besides, if you do not go in, my papa will shoot you.

In that case... case, it will be my pleasure to risk my life

for such a brave woman.

Very gallant, Monsieur.

The one in the center, that is Manfred, Baron von Richthofen, otherwise known

as the Red Baron.

That is Goering.

Goering, huh?

Goering? Hermann Goering?

Oui. He has just won the Blue Max for shooting down his 22nd plane.

Have you heard of him?

Yes, I've heard of him.

But how do you know them?

I have been here often.

There is much of value that a woman can learn.

The saint will close that door and the Baron will stop it.

Ah, Monique.

Such a pleasure to see you.

You will favor us with a song tonight?

Not tonight, my friend.

Captain?

Weisselfarber, my great master.

May I say, it is a great pleasure to meet you after all these years.

I am Manfred to everyone here.

I hope you two have not succumbed to the Red Baron mystique.

Cynical propaganda, Captain Weisselfarber.

Useful now only to ensure a continuous stream of naive German youths marching

off proudly by the thousands to glorious slaughter.

Tell me, Captain Weiselfarber, there is something very familiar about you.

Have we perhaps met before?

No, not yet.

What I mean is I have just returned from the Russian front.

But your face.

I have seen it before.

Yes, well, that is what everyone says.

You see, I have one of those faces that look like everyone else's faces.

Face.

But enough about me, Baron.

Tell me, how does it feel to be the world's greatest pilot?

Frustrating, my friend.

The more I shoot down, the more they send up.

Sometimes I feel like your General Custer, who faced such a gallant battle

the Little Bighorn.

Ah, yes, of course. That was a brilliant victory.

My General Custer?

A slip of the tongue, Captain Visorfather.

How could I possibly imagine you to be an American?

Ah, well, that's okay. Forget it. What I mean is, we all make mistakes.

All of us.

Ja, ja.

Gustav, have him play something happy.

There it is.

This is what we've been looking for, all right? This stuff is dynamite.

Anybody found with this in their hands could get their heads blown off. You are

right. Of course I'm right. I... Hide this.

Helen, I have something I want to say.

And I don't care how crazy it sounds.

I love you and I want to marry you.

Do you love me, or do you think you could learn to?

Well, then what's your answer?

My answer's no.

You love me, but you won't marry me?

That's right.

Why?

David, we're just not meant to spend our lives together.

Sorry, Helen, that's not good enough.

It has to be.

Helen!

Say yes and you won't have to think at all.

All right, yes.

Guess what?

Yes, I love you. Yes, I'll marry you. Yes, yes, yes.

David, look out. Freeze.

David,

are you all right?

I think so.

You were embarrassed. It hurt.

I have a bad sprain.

How about you?

Oh, I'm all right. Just a couple of bruises.

Your face.

So white.

The vial contains three doses, each to be taken precisely at 12 -hour

You'll have to help me walk out of here.

No, David, you stay. I'll go for Helen.

Don't be silly. He can make it. No, it'll only make your ankle worse. Helen.

I'll take a shortcut.

I'll be right back.

Helen.

Oh, Mr. Rourke, I'm so glad you came.

Our horses ran off and the vial broke.

You've got to give me more of the potion.

Oh, I'm afraid that's not possible, Miss Phillips.

Not possible?

It's my fantasy. I paid for it. Your fantasy was to be 25 again and

young love, wasn't it?

Please, Mr. Rourke, you can't let it end like this.

He loves me. He really loves me, and he wants to marry me.

What you are doing, Miss Phillips, if you forgive me, is worshipping youth.

A wise man once told me, Worship age.

Then you will always have life to look forward to.

Worship youth, and you declare your own obsolescence.

Worship age?

Yes.

How can I worship age when everything belongs to the young?

Please, Mr. Rourke, you've got to give me more time.

Please.

Very well.

We'll go back to the house, and I'll give you another five.

And another twelve.

No, Cherie, if we are to be separated and anything should happen to me, I wish

you to have this.

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

I'm just sorry I failed you, Monique.

Sorry I failed to get the plans.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

It doesn't make any difference.

I'm a World War I buff. I know everything that's going to happen.

Look. If I should make it, if something should happen to me, tell your friends

that there will be a new German offensive on June 27th at Chatout 3.

But I do not understand. How could you know about the German offensive?

Never mind. Come on.

They haven't invented a lock that this locksmith can't open.

Good day for flying.

Don't tell me that wasn't you talking.

That was not me. I asked you not to tell me that.

Your plane is that way, I think.

Perhaps you will be my first American, Captain Visapava.

I don't understand.

Why are you letting us go?

Four years ago, I rode off on an exciting little adventure.

A young cavalry scout racing violently across the fields.

And now that quenches are running this blood, 11 million dead.

What is to understand, Captain Weiser, Father?

It is all endless.

At least up there, we will be on equal terms.

Let her hide.

Monique. What is today's date? Come, Cornelius. What is today's date,

April 21st.

April 21st.

The Baron is going to be killed today.

By you?

Helen, are you there?

Helen?

Helen?

David?

Why'd you run away?

Open the door.

I don't understand.

I've been lying to myself and to you.

Don't look at me, not just yet.

Mr. Rourke was right.

It's time I worship what I really am.

I'm not 25, David.

I'm old enough to be your mother.

And here I thought I'd fall in love with the most beautiful young woman in the

world. Stop it.

Just stop it. I've suffered enough.

We've both suffered enough, Helen.

I've been trying to build up the courage to tell you.

My bio was destroyed in that fall off the horse, too.

You're... You're... 52 years old.

I had a fantasy, too.

25 years ago in Poughkeepsie, there was a fire.

I was injured.

Nearly cost me my life.

I was hospitalized for months.

And this angel of mercy would come by every chance she'd get.

She was my only reason to live.

I fell in love with her.

Suddenly I was moved to another hospital.

Plastic surgery.

We lost touch.

Fantasy was you.

But I never thought Rourke would take such a roundabout way to deliver it.

Let's not look gift horses in the mouth, David.

Not at this late date.

Do you think after the war, maybe?

Anything's possible, Malik.

But whatever happens, I'll never forget you.

Rui, you must go.

Maybe today, but not by me.

are starting to arrive.

Oh.

Oh, I do hope George Crane doesn't show up as an uninvited guest.

Don't worry.

When he heard you were getting married, he took the first plane home.

But not before asking me to wish you all the happiness in the world.

Oh, we better hurry.

After the ceremony, you are due on the schooner that will take you on your

honeymoon trip around the world.

Around the world?

Yes. Boss, that's great.

Will you do the same thing when I get married?

Of course, Tattoo. When do you think that might be?

Oh, uh, when I'm, uh, when I'm 50. The perfect age for marriage.

Mr. Weisselfather?

Ready to return to your Boy Scout troop and tell them of the glories of World

War I?

You've cured me of that, Mr. Rock.

I'm no longer a hero worshiper of those flying aces.

Besides, I think that the romance of war is a subject that shouldn't be taught

to children.

Is something troubling you, Mr. Weisselfather?

Did you ever get the feeling you were living in the wrong time?

I think I know the feeling, yes.

Mr. Rock, I was wondering, perhaps maybe someday soon, you could transport

me back to France.

You know, right after World War I, say 1919, 1920.

Well, it's a very unusual request to want to return to a fantasy.

But why don't you come back in six months or so and...

If it still means that much to you, it will, Mr. Rock.

It will.

This time, I think I might stay.

Au revoir.

Goodbye, Mr. Weissmuller.

Tattoo, I've been hesitating to ask, but I've never seen you in dark glasses

before. I'd rather you don't ask, boss.

Oh, I know. It was a jealous fiancé of that beautiful girl you dated last

No, it was not.

Was it? Then who was it?

Him.

I dressed in a Godzilla outfit, and he punched me in the eye.

Keep.