All language subtitles for Family Affair s05e14 Feat Of Clay
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,329 --> 00:00:02,329
Good evening.
2
00:00:02,590 --> 00:00:04,090
So nice of you to join us.
3
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:52,820
French, we're home.
4
00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:54,820
Oh, good afternoon, children.
5
00:00:55,560 --> 00:00:57,940
Sissy, well, I hope you had a pleasant
day.
6
00:00:58,360 --> 00:00:59,360
I did.
7
00:00:59,380 --> 00:01:00,920
I almost did. Almost?
8
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,060
Yeah, until the teacher assigned us a
lot of homework.
9
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,600
Oh, in that case, I suggest you go to
your rooms and get on with it without
10
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,600
further delay.
11
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,340
Mr. French, where did this come from?
12
00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:16,100
Oh, that's a gift from Mr. Davis for
Miss Mason, pre -Columbian. You know,
13
00:01:16,100 --> 00:01:18,080
an expert and considers it a work of
art.
14
00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,300
Oh, sure.
15
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,380
Here's a funny -looking cow.
16
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:26,460
I thought it was a deer.
17
00:01:26,740 --> 00:01:31,720
No, it looks sort of more like a dog to
me. It can't be a chicken because it has
18
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,720
four legs.
19
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:34,500
Hmm.
20
00:01:34,820 --> 00:01:36,700
No, a deer, I would say.
21
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:38,180
I win.
22
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:43,320
You know, children, that this was made
by Indians hundreds and hundreds of
23
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,600
ago, long before Columbus discovered
America.
24
00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,920
Hey, that's real real odd.
25
00:01:49,420 --> 00:01:51,480
It's even older than you, Mr. French.
26
00:01:52,820 --> 00:01:53,820
Yes.
27
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:59,080
It's like something we make in school
that we get bad marks for.
28
00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:00,700
But ours are better.
29
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:05,260
Yeah. I guess because in the old days
they didn't know how to make good stuff.
30
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:06,960
Oh, sweet, sweet.
31
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:09,699
Davis residence.
32
00:02:10,139 --> 00:02:11,320
Oh, Mr. Davis.
33
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,920
We've been expecting to hear from you,
sir.
34
00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,800
It's Uncle Bill. Can we talk to him, Mr.
French? The children wish to speak to
35
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:18,240
you, sir, yet I suggest the other phone.
36
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,840
Oh, yes, they'll be on in just a moment,
sir.
37
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,200
How's everything going, French? The kids
behaving?
38
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:27,900
Yeah, that's good.
39
00:02:29,780 --> 00:02:31,680
Hi, Uncle Bill. When are you coming
home?
40
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,520
Oh, not till early part of next week.
41
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:35,800
How's school?
42
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,240
School's fine, Uncle Bill.
43
00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:38,579
Mine, too.
44
00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:39,620
You got a present.
45
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,980
It was supposed to be a surprise, Jody.
46
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:45,860
We didn't know that, Mr. French.
47
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,280
Well, you didn't tell me what the
present was.
48
00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:51,250
It's a thing of Columbus art.
49
00:02:52,570 --> 00:02:54,310
Jody, you just told him.
50
00:02:54,910 --> 00:02:56,930
I'm sorry this has gotten out of hand,
sir.
51
00:02:57,210 --> 00:03:01,130
Yes, but Miss Mason brought it. A
magnificent work of pre -Columbian art.
52
00:03:01,870 --> 00:03:04,390
It's an animal, but we don't know for
sure which.
53
00:03:04,670 --> 00:03:07,250
We only know what it isn't. It isn't a
chicken.
54
00:03:07,750 --> 00:03:09,770
Well, maybe we can figure it out when I
get home.
55
00:03:11,070 --> 00:03:12,330
Yeah, I miss you, too.
56
00:03:13,330 --> 00:03:15,490
Okay. Bye -bye. Goodbye, sir.
57
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:17,330
Goodbye, Uncle Bill.
58
00:03:17,590 --> 00:03:18,590
Bye, Uncle Bill.
59
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,599
Bye, Uncle Bill.
60
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:21,600
Goodbye, Sissy.
61
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:22,980
Goodbye, Mr. French.
62
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:31,720
Ah, children.
63
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:32,800
Hi, Mr. French.
64
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:38,580
Tell me, did either of you see anything
of Mr. Davis's pre -Columbian figure? It
65
00:03:38,580 --> 00:03:39,580
seems to have disappeared.
66
00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:42,120
It didn't disappear, Mr. French. We took
it to school.
67
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,360
Good heavens.
68
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:46,520
Sissy, they took it to school.
69
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,720
Now, we've been worried about it all
morning.
70
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,810
Why didn't you tell somebody that you
were taking it to school?
71
00:03:53,090 --> 00:03:56,050
You know perfectly well you mustn't take
anything from this place without asking
72
00:03:56,050 --> 00:03:57,050
permission first.
73
00:03:57,250 --> 00:03:58,910
It didn't look very important.
74
00:03:59,610 --> 00:04:02,490
And Jody's getting extra credit for
taking it to school.
75
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:08,650
Anyway, we were sure you wouldn't mind
if we showed that old hunk of clay to
76
00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,710
teacher. Old hunk of clay?
77
00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,650
Jody, that pre -Columbian figure is very
valuable.
78
00:04:14,410 --> 00:04:16,670
Extremely valuable. In fact, it's
irreplaceable.
79
00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,810
Well, we didn't know that.
80
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:20,720
Where is it now?
81
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,780
We left it at school.
82
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,500
The teacher didn't have time to talk
about it today.
83
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:28,320
So she put it in her drawer.
84
00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:31,620
Well, I want it home tomorrow.
85
00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:33,720
Yes, sir.
86
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,360
Now, Mr. French, I think it'll be safe.
87
00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:42,140
You do? Well, that's all very fine. But,
you know, it's like having the crown
88
00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:44,320
jewels in one's possession for
safekeeping.
89
00:04:57,770 --> 00:04:58,770
Be careful, Bob.
90
00:04:58,810 --> 00:04:59,890
I'm being careful.
91
00:05:00,330 --> 00:05:01,790
I just thought I'd remind you.
92
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:04,310
You've been reminding me all the way
home.
93
00:05:05,030 --> 00:05:07,650
You should have carried it. I would have
dropped it.
94
00:05:07,910 --> 00:05:09,830
You didn't drop it when you came to
school.
95
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,570
Well, I didn't know it was valuable
then.
96
00:05:12,970 --> 00:05:14,830
Anyway, boys are more clumsy than girls.
97
00:05:15,050 --> 00:05:16,230
All the girls say so.
98
00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:20,310
Mr. French must be out.
99
00:05:20,590 --> 00:05:21,610
Do you have the key, Buffy?
100
00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:22,910
Uh -huh. Here.
101
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:24,370
Hold this while I get it.
102
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:26,320
Two hands.
103
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:27,580
Here.
104
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:41,380
Are you all
105
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:42,380
right, Jody?
106
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:45,300
Oh, boy.
107
00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,240
We made it home.
108
00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,220
Almost. In one piece.
109
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,500
Doesn't look so valuable now.
110
00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:57,590
Do you think maybe we could paste it
together?
111
00:05:58,910 --> 00:06:00,030
We better try.
112
00:06:08,870 --> 00:06:10,630
I think this is his nose.
113
00:06:11,010 --> 00:06:12,490
I thought it was his foot.
114
00:06:13,010 --> 00:06:14,770
It is sort of big for a nose.
115
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:17,190
Let's make it a foot, Buffy.
116
00:06:17,470 --> 00:06:20,790
Then if he ends up with five feet, we'll
know it's his nose.
117
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:27,040
This is hard, Jody. I don't think it's
going to work.
118
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,239
How come?
119
00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:29,520
You're good at jigsaw puzzles.
120
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,800
Yeah, but they lie flat on the floor.
121
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,880
Yeah, it would be easy if there weren't
so many little pieces.
122
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,520
Buffy? Jody?
123
00:06:59,340 --> 00:07:01,240
Quick, hide the mess under the bed.
124
00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,160
Hi,
125
00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:11,860
Mr. French.
126
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,820
You weren't home, so we used our key.
127
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:17,500
Yes, I was doing some shopping with Miss
Favisham.
128
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:21,440
Children, did you bring home the pre
-Columbian artifact intact?
129
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,940
I see. You forgot it. You know, I was
very careless of you.
130
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,440
We're sorry, Mr. French. We were so
careless.
131
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:36,280
Yes, well, I shall remind you again on
Monday. And should you forget again, I
132
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,320
will go to the school myself.
133
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:38,760
Understand?
134
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:49,280
I just want to stick
135
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,520
together. What are we going to do?
136
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,820
Maybe we could go out and buy one just
like it.
137
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:57,250
Well, we don't have enough money for
that.
138
00:07:57,950 --> 00:07:59,830
Hey, I got an idea.
139
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:02,930
Why don't we make one just like it, out
of clay?
140
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:07,710
One what just like it? All we know is
that it isn't a chicken.
141
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:09,150
It's a blob.
142
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:11,470
I make blobs with clay all the time.
143
00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:15,010
Yeah, it did look like the kind of stuff
we make in our class.
144
00:08:15,590 --> 00:08:17,550
The kids even thought we made this one.
145
00:08:18,310 --> 00:08:20,010
All we have to buy is the clay.
146
00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:21,890
We have enough money for that.
147
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,940
I'm sure glad new clay doesn't cost as
much as the stuff we make out of old
148
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:27,940
clay.
149
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,659
Mexico's fine, but I'm always glad to
get home again.
150
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,240
You say that every time you come home.
That's because I mean what I say.
151
00:08:47,500 --> 00:08:49,580
Oh, but still, it must be really fun to
travel.
152
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,380
How the unique thing exciting ever
happens at home?
153
00:08:53,460 --> 00:08:58,640
Hardly. Hardly. Well, I've got some
presents for you in my bag. Maybe
154
00:08:58,640 --> 00:08:59,619
exciting, huh?
155
00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:04,040
Oh, speaking of presents, um... Yeah,
where's my present from Miss Mason
156
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,040
not a chicken?
157
00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:06,400
Under a desk, sir.
158
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,480
Oh.
159
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,460
Is that it, sir?
160
00:09:16,030 --> 00:09:18,230
It's kind of like a fat horse, isn't it?
161
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:22,230
It couldn't be a horse, Uncle Bill. It's
pre -Columbian. There weren't even any
162
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:24,270
horses on this continent until Cortez.
163
00:09:24,750 --> 00:09:28,490
That's right. Well, now we know it's not
a horse and we know it's not a chicken.
164
00:09:28,690 --> 00:09:33,130
Well, Sir, Miss Mason indicated it was a
very fine piece, worthy of a museum.
165
00:09:33,570 --> 00:09:36,590
Oh, gee, I don't know about that. She's
an expert, yeah.
166
00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:39,190
You know...
167
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,700
Every time I look at that thing, it
seems different to me.
168
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:45,300
I've noticed the same effects, Sissy.
169
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:50,580
Yet there is a crude strength, a
barbaric sense of life, which makes it
170
00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:51,580
priceless.
171
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:55,160
Somehow it seems to change with the age
of the beholder.
172
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:57,920
Probably because you haven't seen it all
weekend.
173
00:09:59,780 --> 00:10:00,780
To be sure.
174
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:05,020
Oh, sir, the children took it to school
with them to gain extra credit.
175
00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:06,960
They brought it back, okay.
176
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:08,340
I'll call her up.
177
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,640
Tell her thanks.
178
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,320
Yeah.
179
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:21,080
What
180
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:29,260
are
181
00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:30,440
you doing, Mr. Branch?
182
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:34,040
Well, Miss Mason's sending a messenger
along, collector.
183
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:35,800
What for?
184
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,280
Does she want it back?
185
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:40,990
No, no, she merely wishes to borrow it
so that she may exhibit it.
186
00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:43,550
And exhibit?
187
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:48,050
Mm -hmm, at the Wyndham Gallery on Fifth
Avenue.
188
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:50,110
You mean they're going to show it to
people?
189
00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:55,750
Yes, evidently this figure is even more
valuable than we thought.
190
00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:01,810
I thought we were out of the woods.
191
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:03,970
We just got deeper and deeper.
192
00:11:04,610 --> 00:11:05,930
What are we going to do?
193
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:08,680
Maybe the messenger will drop it.
194
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,640
Yeah, maybe he'll be as clumsy as you.
195
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,260
If we're lucky.
196
00:11:36,010 --> 00:11:39,170
Yeah. From the collection of Mr. William
Davis. Yes, sir.
197
00:11:39,470 --> 00:11:43,230
Most impressive, sir. What it doesn't
say is that that's the whole collection.
198
00:11:43,550 --> 00:11:45,930
Look at that one, Stanley.
199
00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:48,090
Which one? They all look alike to me.
200
00:11:48,330 --> 00:11:50,170
From the William Davis collection.
201
00:11:51,150 --> 00:11:52,150
What about it?
202
00:11:52,590 --> 00:11:55,050
It's the best example of primitive art
I've seen.
203
00:11:57,690 --> 00:11:59,330
Looks just like another cow.
204
00:11:59,870 --> 00:12:00,870
Cow?
205
00:12:01,070 --> 00:12:02,330
That's a tribal god.
206
00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:04,450
Maybe they worship... Cows?
207
00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:06,690
It shows how much you know about art.
208
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:12,310
Think of the skill of those primitive
people, thousands of years ago, being
209
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:13,390
to make something like that.
210
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:15,510
That's real craftsmanship.
211
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:19,170
Heaven only knows how many weeks or even
months it took to make that.
212
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:25,670
Hear that, Uncle Bill?
213
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:27,950
I guess I ought to be proud I own it.
214
00:12:29,050 --> 00:12:30,930
Hey, you're awful quiet.
215
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,580
We're always quiet in places where it
says do not touch.
216
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:35,900
Like in libraries.
217
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:40,920
Bill! Hi.
218
00:12:41,900 --> 00:12:43,960
Sorry I couldn't break away to join you
sooner.
219
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,740
That's okay. We've been looking at
everything.
220
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:49,880
If you'll notice, your little animal's
been given a position of honor between
221
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:51,220
two very interesting pieces.
222
00:12:51,580 --> 00:12:54,080
The Taraskan Gourd Player and the Kalima
Dog.
223
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,780
Oh, yeah, well, I'm glad he's in good
company there.
224
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,880
Is he about the same age as the others,
Miss Mason?
225
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,360
Yes, they're all about 800 to 1 ,000
years old.
226
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:08,080
Bill, you're not going to believe this,
but Mr. Wyndham's already had an offer
227
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:08,899
for yours.
228
00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:11,080
Really? Well, I'm not going to sell it.
229
00:13:11,860 --> 00:13:12,860
$500?
230
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,700
$500? Gosh.
231
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:17,380
That?
232
00:13:17,980 --> 00:13:21,100
Well, children, you see, you're too
young to understand great art.
233
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,200
Yes, we don't understand it all, Mr.
Wyndham.
234
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,180
Well, tell him no sale. That was a gift
from you, so...
235
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,320
Thanks, Bill. I was hoping you'd say
that. Well, I consider it a compliment
236
00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:33,320
your taste.
237
00:13:33,820 --> 00:13:38,000
Well, I'd better get back up front and
help Mr. Windham out. Hey, we gonna have
238
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:38,739
dinner tonight?
239
00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:39,920
Love it. Eight o 'clock?
240
00:13:40,140 --> 00:13:42,320
Eight o 'clock. See you then. Bye -bye.
Bye.
241
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,040
Bye. Uncle Bill. Yeah?
242
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:50,540
I'm not an expert, but doesn't $500 seem
awful lot for that little primitive
243
00:13:50,540 --> 00:13:51,540
clay figure?
244
00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:53,180
I think so, too.
245
00:13:54,140 --> 00:13:55,280
Well, look at this one.
246
00:13:55,840 --> 00:14:00,920
What if you were a sculptor and somebody
offered $500 for something of yours,
247
00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:02,400
huh? For yours, how about that?
248
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,160
Free to sports for comics.
249
00:14:17,660 --> 00:14:18,960
You can have the comics.
250
00:14:27,370 --> 00:14:29,070
Now, will you be dining at home this
evening, sir?
251
00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:33,090
No, I'm going to have something to eat
with Miss Mason after the show, thanks.
252
00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:34,330
Very good, sir.
253
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:38,970
Oh, that reminds me, sir. Now that the
exhibit is over, shouldn't the pre
254
00:14:38,970 --> 00:14:42,430
-Columbian figure have been returned to
us, or are we expected to send for it?
255
00:14:42,470 --> 00:14:45,630
No, no, no. It's going over to the art
museum and the rest of the exhibit.
256
00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:49,810
Is that that great big museum you took
us to see in Central Park?
257
00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:54,070
That's right, honey. They're going to
have a whole exhibit just for pre
258
00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:55,070
-Columbian stuff.
259
00:14:56,650 --> 00:15:01,730
Sir, I dare say that our little clay
figure will be viewed by all the art
260
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:02,770
connoisseurs in the city.
261
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,670
Yeah, I thought I was going to be a
patron of yours.
262
00:15:06,030 --> 00:15:07,030
I'd better change.
263
00:15:07,310 --> 00:15:08,310
I'll be late.
264
00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:09,370
Yes, sir.
265
00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:13,170
Mr. French?
266
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:15,250
Yes? What's a connoisseur?
267
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:20,830
A connoisseur, Buffy, is a person who is
especially qualified to pass critical
268
00:15:20,830 --> 00:15:22,910
judgment on various art objects.
269
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,350
Like an expert?
270
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,880
You know, believe this or not, Jody, but
there are some unscrupulous people who
271
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:35,920
try to pass off copies of really
valuable objects as the real thing.
272
00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,440
What happens to them when the
connoisseurs find out?
273
00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:45,220
Well, since forgery is a crime, they are
punishable by law.
274
00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:47,760
Does that mean they go to jail?
275
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:50,640
Frequently.
276
00:15:53,540 --> 00:15:57,000
Buffy, do you think experts will be able
to tell ours is a fake?
277
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,420
I think so.
278
00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:01,740
Otherwise, they wouldn't be experts.
279
00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:06,580
They probably can tell two little kids
made it, too. And which little kids?
280
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:12,400
And Uncle Bill might have to go to jail
because the card says it's from his
281
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:16,840
collection. And maybe we might go to
jail ourselves because we're the ones
282
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:17,900
made the whole forgery.
283
00:16:20,650 --> 00:16:23,230
We don't want Uncle Bill to go to jail,
do we, Buffy?
284
00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,210
No, we love Uncle Bill.
285
00:16:26,990 --> 00:16:28,110
Should we tell him?
286
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,090
I guess we're going to have to.
287
00:16:30,650 --> 00:16:31,770
We'll get in trouble.
288
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:35,190
But it's better than Uncle Bill getting
in trouble.
289
00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:36,770
Yeah.
290
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,470
Come in.
291
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:51,880
Hi. Can we talk to you, Uncle Bill?
292
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:53,100
Sure.
293
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,480
Something serious?
294
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:55,960
Very.
295
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,920
Well, tell me. Maybe it's not as serious
as you think.
296
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:03,800
Uncle Bill, you can't let him show that
present Miss Mason gave you at the
297
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:04,800
Museum of Art.
298
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:06,520
Why?
299
00:17:06,780 --> 00:17:08,079
Because it isn't the one.
300
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:09,720
It's a forgery.
301
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,480
What do you mean?
302
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:16,740
Buffy and I made it.
303
00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:18,300
You made it?
304
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:23,900
Uh -huh. And if you showed it at the
Museum of Art, some kind of seal would
305
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:24,699
you in trouble.
306
00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:26,240
You might even get arrested.
307
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,099
And we don't want that to happen.
308
00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:30,200
We told you this was serious.
309
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:43,140
Now, what is this all about?
310
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:46,320
We broke the real present Miss Mason
gave you.
311
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:47,520
I did.
312
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,640
When we were coming home from school,
Kerplunk.
313
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,280
Well, why didn't you tell me before?
314
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:55,140
We were afraid to.
315
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:57,600
So we decided to make our own.
316
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:05,360
Well, you sure fooled me, and you fooled
Sissy, and French, and all the people
317
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:09,340
at the Wyndham Gallery, and the lady who
said it was the best piece of primitive
318
00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:10,520
art she'd ever seen.
319
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,800
And the people who wanted to pay $500
for it.
320
00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:16,280
We fooled them all.
321
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,880
It's the funniest thing I ever heard.
322
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:22,980
You're not mad at us?
323
00:18:23,180 --> 00:18:26,920
No, no, I never get mad at you for
telling the truth. I just wish you told
324
00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,100
from the beginning, that's all.
325
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:33,680
Well, we didn't know they wanted to put
our forgery in the Museum of Art.
326
00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:38,980
No, no, that's the way it goes. You tell
one lie and you don't know where it's
327
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:42,080
going to lead. You always wind up
telling some more lies to cover up the
328
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,080
lie.
329
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,680
Then it's still funny, huh, Uncle Bill?
330
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,370
It is when I think of all those experts.
331
00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:51,550
Oh, boy.
332
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:53,310
What's the matter?
333
00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:55,650
What am I going to tell Miss Mason?
334
00:18:56,410 --> 00:18:59,090
Maybe she won't be angry either if you
tell her the truth.
335
00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:16,150
All right, Bill.
336
00:19:16,510 --> 00:19:18,370
You said you had something interesting
to tell me.
337
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,070
Yeah.
338
00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:25,650
I'm going to have to withdraw my pre
-Columbian from the exhibit at the
339
00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:28,210
But why?
340
00:19:30,030 --> 00:19:32,590
Well, because it isn't genuine.
341
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:36,370
Of course it is. Don't you think I know
what is genuine and what isn't?
342
00:19:36,710 --> 00:19:38,330
Are you taking a good look at it?
343
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,350
Not since I gave it to you.
344
00:19:40,730 --> 00:19:41,730
No.
345
00:19:42,090 --> 00:19:43,910
The pre -Columbian figurine.
346
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:46,260
It's on display at the Wyndham Gallery.
347
00:19:46,540 --> 00:19:48,340
It's not the same one you bought.
348
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,480
I don't understand.
349
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:54,940
Well, the kids broke that one.
350
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:59,420
And so they got scared and they made up
a replica.
351
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:03,980
Of course, they never had any idea it
was going to wind up in a gallery, much
352
00:20:03,980 --> 00:20:04,980
less a museum.
353
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,380
I don't believe it.
354
00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:08,620
Here's what happened.
355
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,600
Bill, are you trying to say that a clay
figure made by two little children
356
00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:15,220
deceived me and the others who attended
the gallery?
357
00:20:17,100 --> 00:20:19,960
Yeah, it was right in there with all the
authentic ones.
358
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:23,640
This is the most embarrassing thing that
has ever happened to me.
359
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:26,100
Well, it fooled the other experts, too.
360
00:20:26,420 --> 00:20:28,360
But that's meant to make me feel better.
It doesn't.
361
00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:32,910
They took my word for it. If this gets
out... Let's go to the theater, huh? No,
362
00:20:33,010 --> 00:20:36,270
we don't want to miss the curtain right
here. It's a real funny comedy. Bill,
363
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:38,810
I'm afraid nothing is going to be funny
to me tonight.
364
00:20:39,250 --> 00:20:41,150
If you don't mind, I'd just like to go
home.
365
00:20:42,490 --> 00:20:43,490
Okay.
366
00:20:59,110 --> 00:21:02,470
Sissy, you know all about men and women,
don't you?
367
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,170
Well, what about them?
368
00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:08,190
Why isn't Uncle Bill seeing Miss Mason
anymore?
369
00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:14,250
Oh, well, you see, Uncle Bill and Miss
Mason have gone...
370
00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:15,970
Huh?
371
00:21:17,170 --> 00:21:18,430
They broke up.
372
00:21:18,990 --> 00:21:20,330
Doesn't Uncle Bill like her?
373
00:21:21,070 --> 00:21:22,550
Well, he likes her very much.
374
00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:26,050
But Miss Mason doesn't particularly want
to see Uncle Bill anymore.
375
00:21:26,390 --> 00:21:28,010
Because of that clay thing we made?
376
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:33,840
Well, you see, she considered herself an
expert on pre -Columbian art. And you
377
00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:35,540
two kids fooled her with your copy.
378
00:21:36,300 --> 00:21:39,320
We didn't think she'd stop seeing Uncle
Bill on account of it.
379
00:21:39,740 --> 00:21:42,800
We copied it so she'd keep on seeing
Uncle Bill.
380
00:21:44,380 --> 00:21:47,080
Oh, I know that, kids. And so does Uncle
Bill.
381
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:50,260
But Miss Mason's pride is hurt.
382
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,920
And that's why they broke up.
383
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:07,780
Miss Mason, what a nice surprise.
384
00:22:08,140 --> 00:22:09,520
May we come in for a minute?
385
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:10,720
Of course.
386
00:22:15,780 --> 00:22:19,440
Buffy and Jody asked me to bring them
here because they've got something
387
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,000
important they want to say to you.
388
00:22:21,220 --> 00:22:22,620
I'd certainly like to hear it.
389
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,480
We're sorry we broke up your present and
we're sorry we broke up you and Uncle
390
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:31,560
Bill. On account of us, you and Uncle
Bill went... And he likes you.
391
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:34,920
Thank you, children.
392
00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,980
But I'm afraid you're really too young
to understand.
393
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:39,920
Well, yeah.
394
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:44,060
But you... The pieces of the pre
-Columbus we broke.
395
00:22:44,700 --> 00:22:47,200
We tried to put it back together, but it
wouldn't work.
396
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,340
So we were thinking maybe you could put
it together.
397
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:53,200
Then it wouldn't be broken anymore.
398
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:55,480
And neither would you and Uncle Bill.
399
00:23:00,020 --> 00:23:03,320
Well, that's what they came to say. I
guess you better be going.
400
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:04,900
Please don't go.
401
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:10,600
You know, your Uncle Bill's a very lucky
man to have children like you.
402
00:23:11,340 --> 00:23:13,520
We think we're lucky to have Uncle Bill.
403
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:16,360
Can you put the pieces together?
404
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,740
Well, I'm certainly going to try.
405
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:40,000
Now listen, you go to bed when Mr.
406
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,140
French tells you to, and I'll give him a
hard time, okay?
407
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,960
We won't, Uncle Bill. We'll give him an
easy time.
408
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:46,179
Have fun.
409
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:47,180
Good night, sir.
410
00:23:47,380 --> 00:23:48,500
Bye, honey. Bye.
411
00:23:49,500 --> 00:23:50,500
Just a minute.
412
00:23:51,820 --> 00:23:55,300
I still can't believe it. What? Bill,
could I ask a favor?
413
00:23:55,500 --> 00:23:57,120
Yeah? Could I have this?
414
00:23:57,740 --> 00:24:00,520
It's the best pre -Columbian forgery
I've ever seen.
415
00:24:00,820 --> 00:24:04,580
I want to keep that. Now, it might be a
forgery to you, but it's authentic to
416
00:24:04,580 --> 00:24:06,100
me. Well, what can you do with it?
417
00:24:06,380 --> 00:24:08,100
Well, I don't know. I've got to look at
it.
418
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:13,080
You realize I'm probably the only guy in
the world who's got a real, genuine,
419
00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:15,900
handmade pre -Columbian by my own kids?
420
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,280
Bye.
421
00:24:26,820 --> 00:24:30,680
It's been very good of you to watch, and
we do hope to see you again next week
422
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:31,920
on Family Affair.
30694
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.