Original subtitles

What do you think, Bill?

Well, I say your estimate gives us a 50 -50 chance anyway.

Oh, 50 -50 isn't enough.

I'd like to insure the bid. Can you cut it down?

I can try.

What's up, Uncle Bill? Uncle Bill, where are you? In the den.

We gotta report to Uncle Bill.

Jody! Jody, we do not leave our school books on the floor.

I'm sorry, Mr. French.

I just got excited.

I'll help you, Jody.

Report card day is a pretty big event around here.

Are they good students?

Sort of.

Buffy's a smart one.

We make a big fuss over Jody, too, just so he won't feel bad.

Child psychology.

Uncle Bill, here's our report card.

Mine, too.

Hey, okay. Let's see how you did this time.

Hello, Buffy, Jody.

I'm Miss Saunders.

Hi, are you Uncle Bill's new secretary?

Miss Saunders is a consulting architect, honey.

Well, that's very good. Very, very good. Straight A's again.

I got an A -minus in arithmetic.

You do?

Oh,

yeah. Well, that's too bad.

You'll just have to try harder next time, huh?

What about my report card, Uncle Bill?

Jody, Davis, and...

Oh, this is really something.

Congratulations, Jody. Pretty good, huh?

You bet. Listen to this, Joyce.

Jody Davis is one of my most cheerful and attentive students.

He always volunteers for pencil sharpening and blackboard erasing. Wow.

Marvelous.

I'm the monitor of the class of two.

You are? Oh, I knew you were going to make it one of these days.

And the grades are spelling C, arithmetic C, geography C.

Not bad, huh?

Oh, a very definite improvement, Jody. How are you, Miss Sanders?

Just fine, Mr. French.

Oh, we're real proud of you, Jody. That's a big improvement.

Now then, children, your uncle's quite busy. Into your play clothes and off to

the park.

Peter Danigan's there so we can play marbles. You can't play marbles. I hope

he's there anyway.

Judas Plus was rather encouraging, sir.

Oh, yeah. Real breakthrough.

I guess I did.

And I know why. Here comes her boyfriend, Peter.

He's not my boyfriend.

But you wish he was.

He's neat.

Hi, Peter. We know a secret.

Want to hear it?

Nah.

Hello, Peter.

Hi. Want to play hopscotch?

Nah.

Come on, Buffy. Let's go over to the duck pond.

You guys go. I'll just sit here with Mr. French.

You never can tell.

Mr.

French. Hmm? Are you terrible busy right now?

Oh, not particularly, Buffy. Why? What's the problem?

Well, if a boy only says hi and nah...

Does that mean he hates you?

Not necessarily.

Possibly the young man in question is not interested in lengthy conversations

while other young ladies are present.

Now, on the other hand, if the young lady were to approach the young man

he was in the company of another young man, say, the young lady's brother,

Then he might feel like saying more.

Thanks, Mr. French.

You're quite welcome, Puppet.

Knuckle down. Group only time.

What do you want? We're busy.

I bet you a girl could win at marbles if you let her play.

Couldn't she, Peter?

Girls are only good at arithmetic and junk.

Peter got a fee like me.

Could I help you with your arithmetic when you're through playing, Peter?

Nah.

He said nah again.

I'm sorry, Buffy, but it's one of life's little tragedies.

Hey, Doug wants to know if we can... Can he make it?

Not only can he make it, but his father is lending him the car. Can we be

downstairs in a half an hour? Are you kidding? For Doug Hanson, we can be

downstairs in 15 minutes.

Hey, fine, Doug. We'll see you downstairs.

Well, hi, Buffy. Did you have fun in the park?

Not too much.

Sissy, there's something I have to ask you. What?

There's something I have to talk to you about.

Well, is it important, Buffy? We're really in a hurry.

Not too much, I guess. Hey, sissy, I'll go up and get the tickets. Okay.

Sam? Yes, Buffy?

Well, if you're not in too much of a rush, I'd like to ask you something.

Well, it's about boys.

Boys?

Well, don't you think you ought to ask your Uncle Bill?

Oh, no.

I'd be embarrassed.

Well, okay.

I'll bet he's someone that carries your books to school, huh?

Not Peter.

All he says is hi and nah.

Well, I'm not in too much of a rush, Buffy. What is it you wanted to know?

Well, you and Sissy have a lot of fellas. They always talk nice to you.

I want to know how to get Peter to talk nice to me.

Well, have you done anything to antagonize Peter?

What's antagonize?

You know, upset him. Get him mad.

Oh, I... wouldn't do that. Why, just now, in the park, I asked him real nice

he wanted to play hopscotch.

Well, hopscotch is more of a girl's game, Buffy.

Marbles isn't. And when I asked him if I could play with him, he just says nah.

And I asked him if I could help him with his arithmetic, and he says nah.

Isn't he good in arithmetic?

Not like me.

I get A's and he gets C's.

Poor, poor Buffy.

There's your answer.

Boys just don't like girls who are smarter than they are.

I lost a football player that way once.

He flunked English, and I got a B.

So Peter doesn't like me because I'm smarter than he is, huh?

I'm afraid that's right.

Well, I got to get upstairs now, Buffy.

Bye -bye.

Bye. Hey, Buffy.

Well, don't worry about it. There are other boys in the world.

Lots of them, thank goodness.

But I don't like the other boys in the world.

Hey, Pete, are you still home from the sidewalk crack?

Okay. Yeah.

Buffy and Peter, will you please come to the desk?

Yes, ma 'am. Hey, Peter, I'll wait for you outside, okay?

Okay.

You know, I don't like the result of your spelling test today.

You two got the lowest marks in the class.

We did?

Who got lower, me or Peter?

It was a tie.

You both got six words wrong out of ten.

Gosh.

Yeah, gosh, huh, Peter?

Well, I want you to take these papers home to your parents. And I suggest some

extra work with your spelling book.

No television tonight for me.

Me neither, I'll bet.

So what if we're done? We're happy, huh, Peter?

D minus in spelling, well, that's always been one of her best subjects. I don't

understand. Neither do I, sir.

Well, what's the matter with the school system? Why do they want to give third

graders tough words like this?

As a matter of fact, sir, the words are quite simple.

What do you mean easy, sir?

Oh, I see.

Wall, jump, nose, N -O -Z -E, nose.

Then there is apple, sir.

A -P -P -L -E, A -P...

Pee -pee, Ellie.

Now, there's no word in the whole history of the English language that's

three P's in a row.

Well, consider a cow, sir.

Let's see, with a K, huh?

Oh, come on. She could spell hat and sat and rat before she even went to school.

Not to mention alligator.

Now, we get cow with a K.

Now, how can a smart kid get dumb overnight?

It baffles me, sir.

Perhaps I should fix an appointment for you with her teacher.

Nobody knows our kids better than we do. We've raised them for three years,

haven't we?

True, sir.

What did Jody get on the spelling test?

Oh, I made inquiries, sir. His usual C.

C, huh? Yes, sir. I congratulated him, as usual.

You did?

Well, I thought it was our custom, sir.

Well, now that's why Buffy got a D -.

What happens? She makes straight A's all along. Then Jody gets a C, and we brush

her off. We make a big fuss over him. We're so anxious trying to make him feel

good, we ignored her.

Oh, parental instinct.

Well, I'll have a little talk with her.

Yay! Three times in a row!

Uncle Bill, I won!

And I lost.

I see.

Oh, Peter.

Hello, Mr. Davis.

You want to play checkers now, Peter?

No.

Buffy, let's just let the boys play. I want to talk to you in your room.

Okay. Uncle Bill, can I go to Peter's birthday party?

Yeah, sure.

Come on.

Then it'll be a fun party, Peter.

It's for boys.

Oh.

Ike girls do eat Peter. You can say that again. I have five sisters. I'm lucky.

I only have two.

You know what this is?

Yes, your money spelling test.

We got to do something about that grade. That's ridiculous.

D minus.

Right?

Right. You shouldn't let me watch TV tonight.

There's no reason to punish you because you know and I know you can spell every

word on here.

nose and apple and every one of them, right?

Right.

It's Jody that isn't doing so well in spelling, right?

Right.

Okay, we'll forget about the spelling test and we'll talk about you and Jody.

Jody? Mm -hmm.

Now, when you brought your report cards home yesterday, Mr. French and I made a

big fuss over Jody.

Even though he had C's and you had A's, we didn't pay any attention to you.

I don't mind, Uncle Bill.

Well, you're a very loyal sister.

Well, let me tell you something now. We gave Jody that extra pat on the back

just because we didn't want him to feel bad about his grades. You got that?

Okay. Now you know who deserved the real pat on the back.

The one that brought home the straight A's.

So, you make up for that right now. Now listen.

We are very, very, very proud of you.

I make myself clear.

Yes, sir. You're proud of me. Okay.

You got the message?

Yes. Right.

Uncle Beasley, Uncle Bill is proud of us.

Very good, David.

All right, Jody, what's your answer to 10 times 12?

100 plus 20 is 120.

Very good. Excellent, Jody. Peter?

12 times 12.

142. Oh, no.

44 times 144.

You were pretty close, Peter.

Buffy, no whispering.

Yes, ma 'am.

All right, Buffy.

9 times 12.

Nine times two is 18.

Nine times one is nine.

98. You forgot to carry the one.

It should be 99.

No, Buffy.

Does anybody know the answer?

108.

Well, that's correct, Peter. Very good.

All right, you may take your seats again, children. And, Buffy, I want you

stop by my desk after class.

I want to send a note home to your uncle.

Yes, Miss Cummings.

You're real smart.

Maybe you can help me with my arithmetic.

Nah.

Well,

Joyce, you did a good job. I'll tell you, if any other company's going to

mine, they're going to have to go in the red to do it. Oh, thanks, Bill.

You know, I've enjoyed working with you.

Although it hasn't all been work.

Dinner last night was fun.

You mean you didn't get bored of stuff hearing about the kids all the time?

Oh, not in the least.

As a matter of fact, I admired your child psychology.

I don't know anything about child psychology. I just use common sense.

Well, I don't think I could have put two and two together about Buffy the way

you did.

Well, if I'm going to catch a six o 'clock rain, I better finalize these

Hi, French.

Oh, good afternoon, Miss Sanders. Good afternoon, French.

Where are the kids? Did you bring them home from school?

Oh, to be sure, sir.

However, since Peter's mother was taking him to the park, I suggested that Buffy

and Jody join them.

I wish to talk to you privately, sir, concerning a second school matter.

A matter of failure, sir.

Failure?

Jody, eh?

No, sir.

I'm afraid that our problem child is Buffy.

Buffy?

Yes, sir. I have a note. The teacher informed me of its contents, sir.

Mr.

Davis. Therefore,

I must give Buffy an F for her arithmetic assignment today. Perhaps you

explain the reason for this sudden setback in her schoolwork. I certainly

cannot. Well.

Yes. It's unbelievable, sir. Buffy of all children.

Gee, I guess I didn't have her figured out so well after all.

Maybe she's bored with schoolwork.

No, not her. No, she's interested in everything.

Buffy is a most alert child.

Sir, is it possible that, well, she might be, um, well, sensitive to

Jody's low grades?

You think she'd deliberately bring herself to his level just because he'd

bad?

Precisely, sir.

No, she wouldn't do that. She knows he's satisfied with his grades anyway.

Well, frankly, I'm stuck.

I'll be upstairs with Sharon.

Yes, sir.

Hey, sis.

You know any reason why Buffy should get an F in arithmetic?

An F? F. Well, Uncle Bill, she's the smartest kid in that class.

Her teacher just told me she's scheduled to be put a grade ahead.

Oh, that's it. That's it.

I don't understand that. That's what?

That's why she got the F in arithmetic and the D minus in spelling. She doesn't

want to get promoted and be separated from Jody.

Brilliant, sir.

Bill, I still say, you really understand your children.

Oh, it's just experience. You get the knack of it after a while. Well, I'll

care of her when she gets home.

Goodbye.

Buffy? Not right now. I gotta fix these cookies.

I like that kind of cookies, Buffy. Me too. Can I have one?

Uh -uh. It's a birthday present.

I bet I know from who.

Peter.

Right. I hope he likes them.

Peter, can I talk to you for a minute?

We're busy.

Yeah, Buffy.

We're busy.

We have to practice for a big game tomorrow.

Well, here, some cookies.

What for?

For a birthday present.

I don't want them.

They're awful good, Peter.

Mr. French made them for our lunch. Why don't you want them? Because if I take a

birthday present from your sister, that'll mean I have to give her a

present on her birthday.

I don't like any girls.

You're an e -girl.

Well, I can't help that.

She's mad, Peter. You better take a cookie.

Okay. If you say it's not a birthday present, I'll take one.

Where's your brother?

He's still at the park with Peter Dunnigan.

May I go in my room now to do some homework for tomorrow?

Oh, before you go and do your homework, Buffy, your uncle would like to see you.

Okay. I can't stand that Peter Dunnigan.

Really? I thought you rather liked him.

Nah.

Buffy, we do not say nah.

No, sir.

Very nice. Thank you very much. Going away present for me?

Uh -uh. It's a birthday present for Peter Donegan. He didn't want them.

Oh.

Come here.

Let's forget about Peter Donegan for a minute and talk about something that

really counts.

What?

That note I got from Miss Cummings.

Now, you never got an F in arithmetic before, did you?

Uh -uh.

You know, I don't even care about his silly birthday.

Whose birthday?

Peters. Do you mind paying attention here for a minute, okay?

Yes, sir.

Now, Jody's not doing so good in class, is he?

You love Jody, don't you?

Oh, yes.

Good. Now we're getting someplace.

But I sure don't like that Peter Dunnigan.

Yeah, I understand. You made that very clear. Now I want you to understand

something.

There's no reason for you to get upset because you get put a grade ahead of

brother.

Because you'll still walk to school together, you'll still have lunch

you can have recess together, all that stuff.

But there's no reason for you to get bad grades on purpose just so you can stay

in the same classroom with him. That's silly.

I'm going to miss Jody, but I'm sure not going to miss Peter Donegan.

Buffy.

Even when I'm dumb like he is, he doesn't like me.

You mean to tell me that you've been pretending to be dumb so that Peter

would like you?

Uh -huh. Boys don't like girls when they're smarter than they are.

Who told you that?

Sharon. You see, she liked this football player.

But he didn't like her because she was smart and he was dumb.

Oh, I see.

Well, I don't think that's such good advice to you because it didn't work,

it?

Uh -uh.

Okay. Now you take Miss Sanders.

Miss Sanders is really Dr.

Joyce Sanders, which doesn't mean that she gives you medicine. Doctor means

she's got a very big degree from a big university, see?

Does that mean she's real smart?

I mean, she is real smart. And you know who I took to dinner last night and

dancing to?

Mm -hmm. Miss Saunders.

Yeah. Now, that's not the only reason that you should do your best, though.

You didn't realize it, but you know what you've been doing? You've been

cheating.

Me? Cheating?

Yes, you.

Cheating. The worst kind, too. You've been cheating yourself.

Because every time you don't do your best, it's something that you try and

you're cheating.

I'm going to always do my best from now on, even if it isn't very good.

I know you will.

I'm going to do my homework real smart tonight.

Okay. And forget about Peter and Ian.

Everybody you meet isn't going to fall in love with you.

I don't mind, Uncle Bill, as long as you love me and Jody and Sissy and Mr.

French and Victor Simmons.

Who is Victor Simmons?

He's the new boy who lives upstairs.

I think I'll take these cookies to him, unless you want them.

No, that's okay.

Go ahead.

Okay, bye.

Good luck.