Original subtitles

Gentlemen, 3 .30.

Craig Development Corporation, 14 ,385 ,000.

Baker and Garcia Construction, 14 ,538 ,000.

William R. Davis Construction, $13 ,220 ,000.

Henry & Associates, $13 ,218 ,000.

Congratulations, Mr. Henry.

Yours is the low bid.

Henry again.

This time 2 ,000 under you.

It was 3 ,000 under on the reservoir project.

1 ,700 under on the high -rise.

How can a guy cut so close so often?

It's either amazing coincidence or he knows you're a bit in advance.

Suppose, just suppose your office was bugged.

No.

I've known him for 15 years.

I guess I better go congratulate him again.

I'm real glad Norman got this tape recorder, because if he didn't get it, I

couldn't talk into it. And if I couldn't talk into it, I couldn't hear me.

The end.

Was that me? Sure.

I sound so old.

Me next. I want to sing a song.

Okay. And now Miss Buffy Davis will sing a song.

Go.

Gee, what song should I sing?

Any song.

I can't think of any. I can.

My country, tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing.

you, Jody Davis?

I can imitate a pig.

I can do a rabbit.

You've got to hear it.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, that's true, Mr. French. Sure, he's got a beautiful voice, just like in a

commercial. Okay.

Mr. French, Would you say a few words for our radio audience?

You're talking to this little mic, and your voice goes onto this little piece

tape forever and ever.

Jody, I understand the principles of electromagnetic recording, but at the

moment I am busy.

Mr. French, why don't we make a record of you reading Winnie the Pooh?

Yeah, then any time we want you to read it, there you would be.

Only you wouldn't have to be.

Well, a tape recorder cannot tuck in a blanket nor fluff up a pillow.

Go.

to tell you.

Wait a minute.

Buffy, will you hang this up? I'm going to take it in my room.

Okay.

Buffy, hang up.

Okay.

Hey, let's record her.

We can't. She's busy. That's what I mean.

Let's tape her phone call.

She won't let us.

She closes the door.

She don't have to know. We'll sneak it in.

That'll be a funny joke on Sissy.

Maybe we'll hear all her secrets.

Right. Come on, you guys, let's go.

Sissy, can I come in?

Okay, Buffy.

Gotta get Mrs. Bee here.

Um, oh, Sharon.

I think you're making that math problem a lot more complicated than it really

is. Mm -hmm.

The math problem.

No, Buffy just walked in.

Oh, it's okay now. She's gone.

Well, anyway, I've been dying to get that Roger Lent to notice me. I tried

wearing the sexy stockings. Then I tried getting my sweater caught in his

notebook.

Nothing worked.

So today in the lunchroom, I asked... accidentally on purpose dropped half a

tuna salad in his lap.

Sharon, this is strictly confidential.

Don't breathe a word of it to anybody.

Everybody have a good day today?

Mm -hmm.

Mm -hmm.

What went on?

We played a secret game.

Oh, well, I guess if it's secret, then you can't tell me about it, huh?

How about you?

Oh, well, all I can tell you is I had a day that was practically perfect.

You sure did.

She sure did.

What happened?

Well, I can't go into details.

Sissy has a new boyfriend.

What? Who told you that?

You did.

I did not.

His name is Roger Lund.

From Cleveland.

That's in Ohio.

You were outside of my door eavesdropping when I was talking to

No, we weren't. Uh -uh.

Well, then you were listening on the extension. That's worse.

Well, no, as a matter of fact, Sissy, I saw Buffy hang up the phone promptly.

Sissy dropped her tuna salad in Roger Lund's lap.

Okay, now you've got to tell me. How did you find out?

That's our secret.

Okay, maybe it's ESP.

Just don't get too personal.

Got that?

Right, right.

Hurry up. Mr. French is dialing.

Okay, all set.

Where shall I hide it? Any place you won't see it. That's a good idea.

This is fun. It's like hearing what you're not supposed to hear. Yeah, this

you hear what they really think.

Well, Lucy, this is a rather personal matter.

Yes, and one that is not easily discussed without some embarrassment.

Oh, yes, yes, I understand.

We are both men of the world, but then perhaps... Yes, perhaps I'd better call

back a little later.

Oh, no, no, that... That won't help, will it?

No. Very well. Then I shall plunge ahead.

Well, perhaps that is not the exact title.

You see, sir, one of my... Brad?

Good evening, Dr. Whiskers.

I thought I heard you down there. You sound like my voice, sir.

that is not the exact title.

You see, sir, one of my distinguishing features is a rather full set of

whiskers. On occasions, I've awakened with it in classic disarray, and it

occurred to me that I might purchase something similar to a, well, a woman's

hairnet to be worn in the privacy of my bedchamber, thus keeping my hair suit

adornments in order throughout the night.

Lest I decide to abandon the entire project.

Wasn't that funny?

He's mad.

Both of them are.

No, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. I thought you knew better than that.

I thought we did, too.

I guess we didn't.

We were just playing.

It's a kind of a game.

No, that's not a game. You're listening in on a private conversation.

It's awful.

We didn't listen, exactly.

No, you did something worse than that. You used a hidden microphone.

You know what you did? You invaded Mr. French's privacy.

Privacy.

Gosh, we're sorry, Mr. French.

We sure are.

Yes, I... I know you are, children. I... I accept your apologies, but... Well,

sir... Now, if you'll excuse me, sir.

Sure.

I don't want that to happen again.

You understand?

I understand. I do, too.

What about you, Norman?

We didn't do anything wrong.

We were just having some fun with my tape recorder.

Well, that thing is pretty dangerous, you know.

Uh, I bug my family's talk all the time. They laugh about it. You people just

can't take a joke.

Mr. Davis, this is called a radio frequency indicator.

We use it to detect the presence of a transmitter in the room, if there is

Well, I don't think there is. This wasn't my idea in the first place. Well,

we'll soon know for sure.

Nobody ever wants to believe they're being bugged.

There's a bug in here somewhere.

I still don't believe it.

You will as soon as I pin it down.

There had to be something going on for those bits to be so close.

The bugging just isn't that rare anymore.

Okay, I'll believe it when I see it then.

are, Mr. Davis.

Right here.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Just a minute.

In here.

Now, Henry, Mr. Davis, I hope you can still hear me.

All I gotta say is you must be a pretty bad engineer if you gotta resort to

something like this.

I'm kinda sorry for you.

Over here.

Uncle sure got real mad at you last night. Not real mad.

Media mad. I don't think he's got a sense of humor.

Uncle Bill has the best sense of humor in the whole wide world.

But he said what we did to Mr.

French wasn't funny.

That's why he didn't laugh.

The mistake we made was to get caught.

It's supposed to be a private game. Then it's okay.

No, it's not.

We don't want to play with dynamite. Uncle Bill says it's wrong. It's

and that's the worst thing.

What's wrong about it? What if I'm bugging you right now?

It's funny.

It's okay, because it's only us.

I say it's okay with anybody as long as they don't catch you.

That's what my father says.

Come on, let's have some fun and bug somebody on the way home.

Not me.

Me neither.

Uncle Bill said no.

Okay, I'll have all the fun myself.

You guys are squares.

My father said so.

Anyway, it was the luckiest accident that ever happened to me when you

your tuna salad.

I feel that way too, even though we've only known each other for a short time.

I feel so relaxed with you.

Even though we're in the middle of a crowded city, we're completely alone.

Hi. Hi.

Mr. French let me in. You see, he's not mad.

You could help us with this new jigsaw puzzle.

Wait till you see what I got.

Not again.

We told you we can't, Norman. We're not allowed to bug stuff.

We're not going to bug anything.

I want to play something for you.

I guess that's okay.

Yeah, we're allowed.

I'll only play the best part.

Listen.

Anyway, it was the luckiest accident that ever happened to me when you

your tuna salad.

Who's that?

Shh. I feel that way, too, even though we've only known each other such a short

time. That sounds like Sissy.

I feel so relaxed with you.

Even though we're in the middle of a crowded city, we're completely alone.

Sissy?

too aggressive if I said I'd like to kiss you?

No. I wouldn't call it too aggressive.

Norman, you shouldn't have done that. Yeah, that's Sissy's privacy.

It's funny.

No, it's not. Sissy wouldn't have thought it was funny.

Us either.

We're not allowed to play with you if you're gonna do all that rotten stuff.

Right.

You guys don't even know how to have fun.

You're just a couple of

No, we're not. When Uncle Bill says it's wrong, it's wrong.

Oh, yeah? Well, my father is a lot smarter than your Uncle Bill, and he

it's right.

Oh, no.

Hi. How come it's all right for you to listen to us?

It's a matter of everyday business.

You've got to keep up with electronics to stay in competition.

Well, I've done all right so far.

Let's face it.

Somebody did bug you.

It's only right for a man to protect himself to get ahead of the competition.

You really want to sell me some of this stuff to cheat with?

I don't have to.

What I have here will sell itself.

This is a radar microphone.

That couple was a half mile away.

Yeah, thanks for turning it off.

We have a hundred devices like this made just for the purpose of informing one

man what another man's doing.

We're using them everywhere.

Not here.

Now, Mr. Davis, you've got to be realistic or go out of business.

He's got a point, Bill.

Let me show you some of our other devices.

They're electronic marvels.

Look.

If I can't stay in business and make a living without using this junk to spy on

my competitors, then I'll just quit, that's all.

No, quit!

I can always go back to being a first -class welder.

Goodbye, Mr. Harris.

If you'll forgive the observation, sir, you seem a trifle under the weather.

No.

No, I'm just having a little trouble keeping up with progress right now.

Oh, I hardly think that's true, sir.

Listen, a guy came into my office and he wants to sell me one of these bugging

devices for my company. Everybody does it, he said. Well, I said I'll quit

before I'll do it. I'll go out of business.

What do you say?

Oh, integrity, sir, is never out of date.

I venture to say, sir, that I would be incapable of working for anyone who

act otherwise.

Oh, hi, Norman.

Hi.

Norman again.

Guess what, Jody?

Norman, Norman, we've had enough of that.

I know what you said, Mr. Davis, but I had to come and tell you. I go by what

father says.

Okay, your father's got his opinion, and I've got mine, but mine is the one that

counts in here. You got that?

I guess so.

You're so serious, and he laughs.

He's even got one of these in his office, and he turns it on when anybody

in. That's how he keeps a record of everything they say.

Without telling them?

Sure. He says everybody bugs.

If he doesn't, somebody else will.

That's just good business.

Well, I guess it's none of my business how he raises you either, but I make up

the rules for Buffy and Jody, okay?

They'll sure be missing a lot.

Hey, how about this?

I just bugged Dad and my Mom. You want to hear?

No. It'll be real funny, I bet.

I don't want to hear it.

Neither do I.

My dad is right.

People who get all excited about stuff like this are squares.

Well, you just stumbled into a whole nest full of squares, Norman.

Just hear the beginning.

Do you know what's on that tape?

No, but they always say real funny things. Listen.

Alice, where's Norman?

In his room doing... his homework see i was but this is in the living room with

them he's not such a bad kid even if he is a little wild you keep telling him

you were pretty wild at his age i sure was paul i think you've got him pretty

mixed up he'll get unmixed when he grows up i did hear that

Look, I don't think this is something that we should do. Alice, there's no

way to tell a son his parents are getting a divorce.

Maybe we sit down with him together.

Try to explain as simply as we can that Mommy and Daddy have decided...

Uncle Bill, I feel sorry for Norman.

Yes, so do I.

But Uncle Bill told him not to play with bugs.

Uncle Bill, how did you know that Norman was going to get hurt?

Well, I didn't know, honey. I just knew that what he was doing was wrong.

How do you know what's right and what's wrong?

Well, usually if it's wrong, somebody gets hurt. See?

Good night.

Good night.

Good night, Uncle Bill. Come on, Joe.

Good night, Sissy. Good night,

Mr. French. Good night.

Lights out, ladies.

Good night.

Mr. French, I'll just finish this page, okay?

All right.

Sissy?

Yes, Buff?

Did you really spill your tuna salad on Roger Lund?

Good night, Buffy.

Good night, Tootsie.