Original subtitles

Thank you.

You get out of tunnel to tunnel. The main thing is you got to have both sides

meet in the middle.

You're being modest, Bill.

The English Channel project has been a dream of both Monsieur Reynaud's country

and mine since 1890.

With your suggested innovations, it could become a practical venture.

Well, if my experience with the San Francisco -Oakland project means

can tell you right now you're not going to be without a few snags.

But good luck anyway.

I've been authorized to speak for the Anglo -French Syndicate.

Would you consider remaining on a consultant basis?

Well, I've got to admit, I like challenges. That's a pretty big one,

don't know, about a whole year.

I'm going to have to pass that one up.

We had a rather large fee in view, Mr. Davis.

Well, money's not the point, Mr. Wilson. I've got a family in New York, two

nieces and a nephew, and I don't want to be away from them for a year.

Well,

that would not be necessary, Mr. Davis. Today, with the jet travel, you could

spend many weekends in New York.

Mr. Davis, sir, it's good to hear your voice.

No, I'm sorry, sir, they're not here.

Sissy's taken them to the park.

Yes, Buffy and Judy.

Hmm?

Oh, well, I trust you'll be arriving on the Wednesday plane as planned, sir.

Yeah, that's right, I'll be there Wednesday, French, but there's been a

change in the plans.

I'll tell you all about it when I get there.

You know, I'll be there Wednesday, but I still have to fly back here on

Saturday. Right, back to England.

England? Oh, how I envy you, sir.

Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to be making my headquarters here for the

next 12 months.

But you're moving your office to London, sir?

No, no, but I just took a consulting job on a tunnel.

Oh, congratulations, sir.

Although, if I may say so without disloyalty, a modern tunnel will never

our truly British institution, sir.

You know, the boat train careening across the channel from Dover to Calais.

I know how you feel, but you can't stop progress.

Okay, French.

See you Wednesday, fella.

Till Wednesday, sir.

England.

Home.

Peter's from the zoo.

The monkeys wouldn't eat him.

Oh, thank you. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.

And I shall disregard the fact that I'm playing second fiddle to a simian.

Where's your sister?

She went up to Sharon's for a while. They're going to rehearse the school

I don't know why Sissy wants to be an actress.

I want to be a truck driver.

Me too.

Yes, well, I'm afraid that Mr. Davis envisions a different career for both of

you. Oh, you just missed talking to him. He just called from London.

Gosh, I wish we'd been here. We never talked to Uncle Bill in London.

Yeah, that would have been nice.

Oh, you'll have plenty of opportunity to talk to your uncle in the near future.

You'll be returning to England for a business trip of some duration.

What's a duration?

Oh, in this case, a year.

He's staying in a foreign country for a whole year?

Poor Uncle Bill.

Oh, I wouldn't feel sorry for him, children.

Nor for anyone who had the chance to dwell in the homeland of Chaucer,

Keats, Shakespeare.

Oh, this happy breed of men.

This little world.

This precious stone set in the silver sea which serves it in the office of a

wall. Or as a moat defensive to a house against the envy of less happier lands.

This blessed plot.

This earth.

This realm.

This England.

That was beautiful, Mr. French.

Oh, thank you, Suzanne.

From Richard II.

Yes, that's right.

It was as good as Mary Had a Little Lamb.

Or even Humpty Dumpty.

I'm sure Shakespeare would be gratified.

Guess what, Sissy?

Uncle Bill won't be able to see you in the school play.

He has to go back and live in England for a whole year.

Yes, the tunnel project, Sissy.

You mean we won't be able to see him for a whole year?

That's a long time.

Oh, you'll be able to see him because he'll be returning on frequent visits.

Now, off to your various baths.

Gosh, he's so lucky. You know, the Royal Academy is in London. It's the best

acting school in the entire world.

Gosh, London has everything.

How marvelous for Uncle Bill.

For anyone.

For anyone.

I'm flattered. Father should invite a celebrity here to tea.

A celebrity?

Certainly you're a celebrity.

But then so is my daughter.

She's opening next month in a new play, you know.

Oh, I see that.

Thank you.

Well, this is a beautiful place you have, Mr. Wilson.

Yes.

Yes, it is.

We're going to miss it.

You going to sell? Oh, good heavens, no, no. No, it's just that I shall be in

Hong Kong for most of the coming year, so... Oh.

Are you closing it up or leasing?

Leasing, if I can find the right tenant.

You might not have to look too far. I like this place.

Bit large for a bachelor, isn't it?

Not for a bachelor with a big family.

Bill, I didn't realize you'd be bringing them over.

Neither did I. It'll just now.

Mind if I use your phone?

Oh, certainly. Help yourself.

Uncle Bill, that's the greatest news I've heard in years.

Us too, Uncle Bill?

Uncle Bill, Mrs. Beezy wants to meet the queen.

Okay, honey, I'll see if I can arrange it for you.

What, sir?

What'd you say, Fiffy?

Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.

It's supposed to be the greatest training school in the world for

young actresses, and, well, my teacher says I'm promising, and, well, I know

it's practically impossible to get in.

Okay, honey, I'll see what I can do about it.

I'm having tea with the professional actors right now.

Oh, that would be great, Uncle Bill.

Uncle Bill, when you finish that tunnel, can I crawl through it to France?

I like to crawl through tunnels.

Jody, stop being silly.

What? Oh, yes, we're delighted, Uncle Bill.

I'll tell Mr. French as soon as he comes home.

Okay. Uh -huh. A week from Wednesday.

Okay. Bye.

Do I detect the spirit of England, the playing fields of Eden?

Mr. French, we're going to London.

London? We are?

Yes, all of us.

You too, Mr. French.

Uncle Bill just called.

He's rented a place in the country, and we're all going to live with him there

until his tunnel job is finished.

Oh, my word, this is exciting.

However, we must remember that we're gentle folk and act with dignity and

restraint.

One postponed one after another, and now this one.

Of course it is.

an enormous financial commitment, and at this time, I can't imagine what went

wrong. The venture seemed 99 % assured.

So is that extra 1%. It'll get you every time.

Oh, you'll get the tunnel built someday, I guess.

My daughter?

We'll send her in, please.

Oh, she's checking on the Royal Academy for my niece.

I'll only interrupt for a moment. Bill, good news. I've arranged an interview

for your niece at the Royal Academy.

Now, when does your family arrive?

Well, they're not going to be arriving, Kamala looks like.

After the news we just got, I think I'll be going home, too.

Oh.

Postponed again.

Again.

Oh, I am sorry. This meant so much.

Well, I meant a lot to the kids, too.

I talked to them Monday night on the phone. I was telling them all about the

manor house and all about London.

Oh, what a shame.

Some other time, perhaps, Bill.

Well, maybe they can still come.

You know, I built this up so much for them.

It's kind of up to me to work it out.

When we get to England, we can go see Sherwood Forest where Robin Hood lived.

And Friar Tuck, that's the one who was as big as Mr. French.

Bigger. Yes, well, thank you, children, but I'm sure your comparison was well

intended.

Come on, Buck, let's play I'll Be Robin Hood.

Okay, and I'll be Fair Maid Marian.

Well, remain within call, Robin and Maid Marian.

Horworth Castle, near whose rampart Sir George slew the fire -breathing dragon

and saved the lovely princess.

Mr. French, when we're in England, will we see any fire -breathing dragons?

I hope not.

Oh, you needn't worry, Buffy. There hasn't been a fire -breathing dragon in

England for generations.

However, the castle still exists.

Can we see it?

Not that one. But there are several other ancient castles near where we will

staying.

Oh, boy.

Now I'm going to be able to fight a real pretend fire -breathing dragon.

And I'll be the lovely princess.

Mr. French, did the office say what time Uncle Bill was going to get in? Oh,

yes. They said he'd be at the airport at four.

My word, he should be here any moment. I'd best get dinner started.

Sissy, Mr. French is going to take us to some spooky castles in England.

Want to come with us?

Thanks, Jody, but I'm going to be too busy with my work at the Royal Academy.

Hi. Uncle Bill!

Uncle Bill!

Uncle Bill!

Ah,

this is the best part of any trip.

What? Coming home.

Together is good, too.

That's right.

I'm all packed.

The passport's ready.

Oh, indeed they are, sir.

And I believe I speak for everybody, sir, in saying how happy we are to be

going.

Oh, Uncle Bill, I'm so excited.

I can hardly sleep at night wondering about the Royal Academy.

Oh, you know, that friend of mine I told you about, well, she set up the

interview for you. It's all set.

It's all set?

I won't be able to sleep at all.

You got any mail?

No. Quite a bit, sir.

Uncle Bill, are we going to live in a spooky castle or a regular house?

Well, kind of in between, Jody. I think it'll be a regular castle.

I like in between.

Now, this is for you.

Oh, really, sir? I must have missed it.

I've got to call Sharon and tell her about the Academy.

Why don't you let her read about it? It'll probably be on the first page of

theatrical section of the New York Times tomorrow morning.

Sure, Uncle Bill.

It's from my brother in England, sir. A mark of our family conservatism.

I placed a transatlantic phone call to him. He sends a postcard to me.

Mr. French, can I please have a spell?

And can I show the picture to Mrs. Beasley?

Of course.

I'm busy.

My brother is most pleased, sir.

He's arranging a family reunion at the Rooster and Tankard Inn at Sissingham.

Been a long time since you saw any of your relatives, huh?

Yes, they're too long.

Boy, Uncle Bill, we're really lucky that you're going to build that tunnel over

there.

Uncle Bill, can I come and watch you guys dig it?

Me too.

You know, sir, it'd be a most interesting and educational thing for

if they could watch you. After all, sir, they'd be seeing history in the making.

Well, I'm afraid they're not going to get to see history is being made because

the tunnel project's been postponed.

What will you be building over there?

Nothing. I'm not going to work in England at all.

You're not? You mean we're going to England without you?

Well, sort of.

I'll be coming back and forth.

Now, just because I missed out on something, that doesn't mean you all

So you're going to go to the academy, as we planned, and you're going to have

your family reunion, and you two are going to have the time of your lives.

You're going to see Sherwood Forest and spooky old castles and all that kind of

stuff.

But you won't be traveling with us, sir?

No. Pamela Wilson's going to meet you at the airport, and I'll be coming back

and forth whenever I get a chance.

That's it.

It's real great, Uncle Bill.

Well, I'd better get cleaned up here.

I'm meeting with the Gahagan people. Maybe I can reactivate the Canadian

project. I'll run your bath, sir. Oh, will you be home for dinner?

Oh, I wouldn't count on it.

This dessert is mushy, but nice, Mr. French.

Thank you.

Custard and fruit and junk.

Will we have this kind of stuff in England?

Oh, yes. Trifle is a favorite British dessert.

I'm glad I'm going.

Me too.

We all are. I'm going to run upstairs to Sharon's. She's just as excited as I am

about the Royal Academy.

Oh, it's a marvelous opportunity for the budding actress to join Sir Lawrence

Olivier, Sir Michael Redgrave, Sir Ralph Richardson, Dame Edith Evans, Sir John

Gielgud, all the greats of the profession.

Hey, Jody, look under the fruit and the custard. There's sponge cake.

Boy, I could live in England forever.

If you'll pardon me, I'll be running along.

Oh, will you be long, Sissy?

No. Oh, good, good, because I'd like to do a little shopping this evening. You

know, souvenirs of America for my relative.

Okay.

You love a lot of them, don't you, Mr. French?

Seven brothers and three sisters.

I, Buffy, am the baby.

everything work out with the Canadian project?

Yeah, sure.

I'm just hungry. I need a chance to eat.

You asked Prince to make me a sandwich?

Oh, I'll make it for you. He had to go out for a little while.

I put Buffy and Jody to bed a little while ago, but they're still awake.

I'll say goodnight. Uncle Bill, then could I talk to you?

Sure. In a minute.

Okay. Hamburger and onions, huh?

Okay.

Hello.

Good night.

Uncle Bill.

You sleep tight now.

Well, I can't. I'm thinking about something.

You are?

Thinking about England?

Mm -hmm.

And all the fun you're going to have?

Well, not exactly.

But I hope Jody and Sissy and Mr. French have fun.

What are you talking about?

I was thinking, you'll be here all alone.

Mm -hmm. Well, I'll manage.

Suppose you get a cold.

You'll need me.

Can't I stay here with you?

Nah, you'd get too lonesome for Jody and Sissy.

But I'll go with you to visit them.

I love you.

Good night.

Good night.

Uncle Bill, I love you too.

Thought so.

I snuck in. Yeah. You can sleep here if you want to. I want to.

Okay. What's on your mind?

You always say we're pals, don't you, Uncle Bill? Sure, we are.

But shouldn't pals stick together?

Mm -hmm.

What are you getting at?

Well, I don't care if Buffy and Sissy go to England with Mr. French, but us guys

can stay here.

What about all those spooky castles?

I can explore them with you when we go over there, Uncle Bill.

Wouldn't you miss Buffy and Sissy?

Nope.

Well, not too much.

Well, you're not going to miss them at all. The castles either.

Thanks for the thought.

I appreciate it.

Uncle Bill, do I have to go back to my own bed?

No.

I'm glad.

We're pals.

The best.

Oh, that smells good.

I guess there's nothing better than a good old American hamburger with a lot

onions and junk on it.

You'll make them for the kids when you get to England, huh?

Oh, Uncle Bill, that's just what I wanted to talk to you about.

England.

You too?

Well, I know the kids are excited to go and everything, and I think they should

go. Well, they should go.

All right. Well, with Mr. French over there with them, you're going to be

here by yourself.

Are you by any chance trying to tell me that you would like to stay home with me

and keep me company?

Oh, yes, Uncle Bill.

How did you know?

Because I got the same story from the kids.

From Buffy and Jody?

Yep. They didn't tell me anything about it.

Well, apparently you didn't tell them anything either.

And that just about settles it.

We're not going to go to England or any place else. Nobody is going anywhere.

Nobody?

Oh, my goodness.

What about Mr. French?

I guess we'll have to figure out something for him.

He sure has his heart set on visiting his relatives and all that.

Oh, uh, good evening.

Oh, Mr.

French, I fixed Uncle Dill a hamburger.

Good night.

I'll see you in the morning, honey. Okay.

Good night, sister.

Good night, Mr. French.

If you wish dessert, sir, I prepared trifle for the children.

Okay, in a minute. Listen, I got some pretty bad news for you.

It turns out we're not going to be going to England after all. At least not the

children, so... We're not, sir?

Wonderful!

Wonderful?

Well, yes, sir, there's no other word for it, sir, except possibly bravo.

Well, you see, sir, ever since you told us that we would be making the journey

without you, I have been torn by an insoluble predicament.

Well, firstly, sir, I couldn't possibly leave the children in England to fend

for themselves, and, well, secondly, sir, it would be most unfair to leave

here by yourself.

That's just what the kids said.

They did?

Yes, sir, they would.

They would indeed.

Well, I guess you're the one that's really losing out.

I'm sorry about the family reunion and all that.

If you want to take your vacation now, it's okay with me.

No, sir, there's no rush, sir. I can always go at some future date.

The trifle, sir?

Yeah, please.

After all, sir, they'll always be in England.