Original subtitles

Hi, Uncle Bill.

Hi. Shh, they're out to got me down.

He thinks they won't shoot him if he's holding a woman in front of him.

I'm the school mom.

much of a chance, did you? You can't take chances with dirty sidewinders like

Sneaky Joe.

You shot him in the back, though. What happened to the coat of the West there?

Doesn't count.

He's one of the bad guys.

Pow! Pow!

That's not fair. You were dead.

I'm dying, but I got you first.

They always do.

Everybody got shot but the school?

Yeah, I thought I was going to relax a little, but it looks like I walked right

into the gunfight at the O .K. Carano.

Yes, to be sure, sir, casualties are heavy, but recovery is extremely rapid.

Oh, now, Jody, you and your fellow outlaws will confine your hostilities to

room and the hall.

The living room is off limits to gunplay.

Okay, Mr. Friend.

No more hiding in here, guys.

Then let's just stand face to face and shoot it. out like Marshall Dillon.

What does the school mom do?

Just stand back like a lady and look real scared.

The lad's around to the teeth, sir.

Yeah, where'd Geordie get the arsenal?

Oh, he traded ten marbles and a model sports car.

Oh, can I get you anything, sir?

No, thanks. I'm going to unwind here. I'll arrange.

she looked as if she'd bitten into a lemon. And she said, young lady, I think

it's time you and I had a serious discussion about the facts of life.

And I said, why not?

Just tell me what's bugging you and I'll try to explain it. Oh, Gwen, you

didn't. Of course I did. Just because she's a teacher, I'm not going to let

or any other alleged adult put me down.

Oh, hi, Uncle Bill.

Hi.

Uncle Bill, this is Gwen Keeper.

He's talked so much about you. I pictured a much older man.

Yeah.

I'd better hurry. Where should I put these?

Oh, just anywhere.

I'll be back in an hour or so.

Wish you were coming along.

I'll tell you all the grisly details.

Nice to have met you, Mr. Davis.

Her new friend, huh?

Right. Gwen just transferred from another school.

Kind of comes on a little strong, doesn't she?

Well, she's the first friend I've ever had that really knows what it's all

about.

Wouldn't you like to look at something else for a change?

No, Uncle Bill. This is what all the kids watch.

Listen, how about playing a game instead?

A game?

Yeah, sure. One of those games you got for your birthday.

Okay, Uncle Bill.

What do you want to play, Buff?

Demolition Squad or Hand to Hand?

I like sabotage.

Wait a minute. What's the matter with tiddlywinks and checkers and that kind

stuff? But you said one of the new games we got for our birthday, Uncle Bill.

That's what I said.

Listen,

we gotta do something about our responsibility to those kids.

Which responsibility did you have in mind, sir?

The one where we protect them from all this violence.

to be sure, sir. Whatever happened to Winnie the Pooh and the Five Little

Peppers? I don't know. You can't just say no television. We have to give them

something else to take its place. Now, what?

Books, sir. Books?

Yes, sir. The enchantments of Hans Christian Andersen, the Brothers Grimm,

those things instead of Operation Wipeout and Bang, Bang, Bang, You're

Fairy tales, huh?

Yes, yes, The Sleeping Beauty, Jack and the Beanstalk, Rumpelstiltskin. Oh,

there are hundreds of such wonderful tales.

Yeah, that's right, that's right. That's very natural for little kids.

Good old -fashioned fairy tales. Yeah, right.

Okay.

I'll never be able to make this up to you, Sissy. Well, you just have a good

time. Good? With Arnie, it has to be fabulous.

Oh, hi, Uncle Bill.

Hi, Mr. Davis.

Now, that's a good -looking outfit.

I wish my dad had your taste in clothes.

Thank you.

I'd better hurry.

Bye -bye.

Now, don't worry about me, Sissy. I'll be back before she calls. That's okay.

Bye. Bye.

Hey, one of your dresses she's wearing.

We're exactly the same size.

The color even looks better on her.

She's got a date, huh?

Mm -hmm.

And her mother thinks she's spending the evening with you, right?

Well, Uncle Bill, if you knew how unreasonable Mrs. Kiefer can be.

Be that as it may, Gwen is using you and she's using our home to disobey her

parents.

They treat her as if she were a child. She's almost 18.

Well, that's between Gwen and her parents. What concerns me is that she is

you.

Uncle Bill, please. I understand Gwen perfectly.

She isn't using me. She's my best friend.

Sissy, it's very clear to me what's going on.

Uncle Bill, I'm a senior in high school. Don't you think I'm old enough to

choose my own friends?

I hope you are.

Each day, Gretel had to cook lots of fattening food for Hansel.

And each morning, the old witch hobbled to the cage and cried, Hansel, let me

feel your fingers so I can tell how fat you're getting.

Mr. French, why did the witch want him to get so fat?

Well, you see, Master Jody, well, I'm afraid that what she had in mind

was, well... What's the matter, Mr. French?

going to have Hansel for my supper.

She built a roaring fire in the stove and said to Gretel, just stick your head

in the oven and see if it's hot enough, Gretel, dear.

But Gretel was smart.

She said, I'm sorry, I don't know how to go about it. Please show me how.

Stupid, screeched the witch.

Just stick your head in the oven like this.

Gretel gave her a great big shove.

slammed the oven door, bolted it, and ran away.

The old witch called and cried and... Oh, et cetera, et cetera.

Et cetera, et cetera.

Yes, Ralph, we'll skip some of the gory detail, will we?

Ah, now, here's a good part.

A white bird fluttered down, and they followed it.

through the woods faster and faster, and suddenly there was their father's house

gleaming through the trees.

Their grieving father was overjoyed to see them and embraced them happily.

The wicked stepmother had gone for good, and so the woodcutter and his family

lived happily ever after.

Well, that's more like it.

Now, didn't I tell you those stories would be better in television?

Yes, Uncle Bill.

Well, have a good time now.

I'll see you in the morning, kids.

Night, Uncle Bill. You have a good time, too.

Well, shall we try one more?

If you want to, Mr. French. Oh, we must. Mr. Davis has given us definite

instructions. Now, let's see.

Rapunzel. Yes, that's a good one.

Mm -hmm.

Yes. Now, once there was a horrid old witch.

Now,

that's a different scene.

Oh, a winch. Here we are, yes. A witch had once three dragons who ate... Oh,

definitely not.

Oh, here, down the bottom here. The bridge of once a cross never come back.

Now, that sounds interesting.

I like bridges.

They blew one up on Operation Wipeout.

Bluey!

Yes, Jody.

Once upon a time... That's a good beginning.

Once upon a time, there was a little bridge across a glittering stream.

But under the bridge lived a fierce and ugly troll.

What's a troll, Mr. Frank?

Well, it's a, you see, it's a sort of, um... Oh, no, no, here's a picture, you

see.

Eek!

Ooh, I think I like witches better.

Well... The troll lived down in the dark and the damp and waited for the sound

of footsteps on the bridge.

Hello, traveler, he would call.

Look over the edge of the bridge. There's gold in the water.

And when the traveler leaned over, father, father, the troll would reach

grab his arm and pull him off the bridge down into the dark and damp.

And then what, Mr. French?

Oh, well, et cetera, et cetera.

Mr. French, I think I'm sleepy.

Me too.

You really want to go to bed?

Very well, then we shall continue tomorrow.

Mr. French, are you going to read fairy tales again tomorrow night?

Yes, that is the schedule. Now hop into bed.

There we are.

Good night, Judy.

Good night.

Mr. French?

Yes? Do you have to turn off the light?

Yes. But I assure you there's nothing to be frightened about.

Good night, Jody.

Mr. French, will you please look in the closet?

Buffy, there are no trolls in the closet or anywhere else.

I know, but there might be a witch.

There are no witches.

Mr. French, could you keep the light on?

No, Buffy. I'm only a very few feet away with an easy sound of the voice.

But Mrs. Beasley, she... She keeps thinking about et cetera, et cetera.

Now, what Mrs. Beasley needs is a good night's sleep.

I'll see you

in the morning.

Good night.

If that's Gwen's mother on the phone, you tell her that Gwen's at the movies,

okay?

Yes.

Hello?

Yes, Davis residence.

Oh,

Mrs. Kiefer.

No, she isn't.

I understand she's gone to a movie.

Oh, yes.

Yes, I certainly will.

Mrs. Kiefer seemed quite concerned.

Gwen is to take a taxi home the moment she returns.

Yes, Mr. French.

Thank you very much.

Do you know what time it is?

Hold it, hold it. Don't come on like Big Mama.

It's almost midnight.

I don't care what time it is. And where I've been is my business.

Well, your mother called almost an hour ago.

So? Did you talk to her? No. Mr. French told her you were at a movie.

With you?

He didn't say that, but I guess that's what she thought.

She said you were to take a taxi home.

Gwen, I don't like to lie to your mother.

Big deal. It doesn't bother her. She hears what she wants to hear.

It isn't right.

I thought you were going to be a very special kind of friend.

Looks like I made a mistake.

It seems we both did.

I'll bring your dress and shoes to school Monday.

Just on my way, Mr. David. All right, Gwen.

The light's going to be out, isn't it?

Oh, don't worry about her, Uncle Bill. She's perfectly capable of taking care

herself.

It's just us, Uncle Bill.

What are you doing up?

Well, we had a real bad dream.

The worst we ever had.

Oh, you and Mrs. Beasley, huh?

Mm -hmm.

Uncle Bill, please can we get in here with you just for a little while?

What's the dream all about, honey?

Well, Mr. French had Jody in a cage and he wanted him to get real fat.

Mr. French?

Well, in the dream, Mr.

French wasn't like our Mr.

French. He was a witch.

A witch, huh?

Mm -hmm.

Then he tried to push me in the oven and I saw Mrs. Beasley in there.

But then she turns to gingerbread.

Oh.

I wonder why you get ideas like that.

The nice fairy tale is Mr. French read us tonight.

Fairy tale?

Okay.

Let's just forget about that and go to sleep, huh?

Okay.

Look over the edge.

Look over the edge.

Jody.

Please, Uncle Bill, is there enough room for me?

Sure, what's the matter? You having a bad dream, too?

Lots of them.

Mr. French, a witch?

No, he was a troll who lived under a bridge.

And when Buffy tried to cross it, he grabbed her, and then et cetera, et

Oh, terrible.

Come on in.

Now, let's try to think of nice things for a change, huh?

Pretty new dresses and old white gloves and new catcher's mitts and

flying kites and stuff like that.

The nicest thing of all is being safe here with you, Uncle Bill.

Right, Buffy.

Shh.

So, what was the witches in Buffy's room

and Jody being chased around by trolls?

Three of us wound up in my bed.

I didn't sleep too well myself, sir.

You know, I really forgot how gory those old fairy tales can be.

Yes, even though I covered some of the more, well, strange passages, shall we

say, by saying et cetera, et cetera.

Well,

we had the right idea. I guess we were just looking for an easy way, though.

But we can't just say no television, read books instead.

That doesn't make any more sense than letting them look at whatever they want

to.

No, it would seem to be a matter of selection, sir.

That's right, selection. We're going to have to help him pick out what programs

to look at and what books to read.

At least until they're old enough to decide for themselves. It's kind of a

job, you know.

The time's quite baffling.

Good morning.

Good morning. Good morning, Uncle Bill.

Uncle Bill, last night I wanted to say something to you after Gwen left, but

somehow I just couldn't.

Boy, last night was one of the worst nights of my life.

Well, you had company.

I wanted to believe that I was old enough to choose my own friends.

You are old enough.

Most of the time you do all right. You just made a mistake. That's all.

Everybody makes mistakes. That's what I'm here for.

Thanks, Uncle Bill.

Uncle Bill, can we turn

on the television?

I'm afraid to hear another fairy tale.

Storyland's on TV. We like to watch it on Saturdays.

Oh, a highly recommended program, sir.

Okay, go turn it on.

And since this is a special occasion, I will serve your breakfast in the den.

Good morning, boys and girls.

We're taking another trip to the land of make -believe.

This morning, I have a very special treat for you.

We're going to read the story of Hansel and Gretel.

Hansel and Gretel.

Oh, no.