Original subtitles

Oh, French.

Good afternoon, sir. And may I ask how you achieved the ringing of the

sir? Well, I used my elbow. I found out if you try with your nose that it

flattens out before you can make electrical contact.

Well, I deduce that you plan working at home.

That's right. For the next few days, they're putting up a new building next

the office. Right now, they've reached that stage where they're using

jackhammers. Well, may I remind you, today's Friday, sir?

Friday. Yes, and precisely...

20 minutes, the children will be home from school.

They'll be here tomorrow, Sunday, and all of next week. Oh, yeah, vacation.

Well, you can keep them quiet.

Yes, sir.

Just explain. I've got... This is important work.

Yes, sir.

You look doubtful.

Now, French, you know as well as I do that between us, we can keep three kids

reason to be quiet, can't we?

Oh, yes, sir.

be quiet, then how can we watch TV?

Easy. We just watch the picture. We don't have to listen to the sound.

It's no fun like this.

Yeah. It's like sitting with the lights on, but you're in the dark.

Maybe we should do something else.

Okay.

Can we answer the phone before we discuss that noise, sir? Yes, please.

Davis residence.

It's a young lady for Miss Sissy, sir. The same one who calls incessantly from

the moment she comes home from school until bedtime.

Sissy's got her own phone. Why don't they yak on that?

Well, Miss Sissy is discussing something with a young man on her phone, sir.

Sissy!

Pick up the extension on this phone!

The other sound you hear, sir, is the television from the den.

Buffy and Jody seem to have turned it on.

Would you please turn it off?

Yes, thank you.

Miss Buffy slammed the door on her finger, sir.

Oh, I'm sorry, Buffy. I know how those things hurt, gee.

What are you crying about, then?

Jody wrecked my whole arm putting on a splint.

Well, when you bust your finger or something, somebody gots to put on

Jody meant well, sir, but exercised poor judgment. He fastened the injured

finger to a broom.

Isn't it about time they went to bed?

I thought she just answered that thing.

I fancy she did, sir. Miss Sissy believes in short conversations, but

Sissy can't talk anymore, Lessie. She's gonna do her homework now.

Aren't you, Sissy?

It's Friday.

Now, furthermore, Lessie, from now on... What?

I said I'm sorry to break up whatever you have going with Lessie.

This is Norm Braley.

Norm Braley?

Where you been all these years?

Outdoors, Bill.

I've been operating a series of summer camps for kids.

That sounds great. When are we going to see you?

Well, maybe sooner than you think.

We've known each other too long to be beating around the bush.

I called you for a reason.

Yeah, well... You will be

in dire straits if you touch your sister with that weapon.

Norm, I'm sorry. I didn't hear a word you said.

I understand you have three kids.

I'm running camps for kids.

You getting the picture?

Yeah, but it's not summer now.

Well, that's right, but school's out next week.

I'm sort of drumming up business for these shorter vacations.

You got him, Norm.

I heard you have an older girl. She could be one of our counselors.

I said they're all yours.

Well, the two little ones can, and... Did I hear you correctly?

Right. When can you collect them?

Tomorrow?

That's fine. It's great.

Listen, Norm, we can talk about the details of this thing later.

Listen,

call me about 9, 9 .30, huh?

Right, Norm.

Thanks a lot for calling.

Great to hear from you.

Sir, the crash was a rather inexpensive vase. The one with the butterfly.

Oh, that. I never liked it anyway.

However, the carnage was occasioned by the pursuit of Miss Buffy by Master Jody

with the intent to do bodily harm.

She stepped on her last ping -pong ball and smashed it, Uncle Bill.

I did not. I sat on it and smashed it.

Aren't you mad at us, Uncle Bill?

Let's just say I'm projecting into the future.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Uncle Bill.

Be good, kid.

Have fun.

Goodbye.

This is the part that's the hardest.

Taking the kids away from their parents.

Well, we just want what's best for them.

Okay, kids, let's go.

Bye, Uncle Bill. Bye, Bill.

Nice,

quiet breakfast on the terrace, sir. French,

you are twisting my arm.

Excellent breakfast, French.

Thank you, sir.

What are the plans for today?

Well, I'm going to work right here in complete peace and quiet.

And... Hey.

Precisely, sir.

Sure. With the kids gone, I've got the evening free for a date.

Perhaps a theater, sir. Then I could prepare a late supper, and we might have

wine, brandy.

Right, right.

Now, see if you can get some theater tickets, maybe one of those off

things. I'm going to call Marie Stafford.

You know where to call about the tickets?

Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, Marie's a lot of fun.

French, this is the way it used to be.

It promises to be a most enjoyable week, sir.

Come on, you guys. It's time to police the camp.

Oh, I see you still have French.

How'd you know?

The music, he remembered.

Oh, yeah, he made himself scarce, too.

Oh, excuse me, just a minute.

Problem? No, no, I thought we'd hear something from the kids and so, but

nothing. French says not to worry. Well, in the pictures that you showed me,

they look like fine, healthy children. I wouldn't worry. Oh, I'm not worrying.

It's just that you'd think they could send a postcard or call, maybe.

How marvelous.

Why, he even remembered the brandy with Belle Paisa and water biscuits.

And, uh, it's been quite a while.

Well, you know, it's been...

It's one thing or another.

Yes, I know.

Lovely music.

We owe it to French not to waste it. You're right.

Now, give me credit for something. I own the hi -fi.

You know, I've just about given up on you, Mr. Davis. Oh, you don't want to do

that, miss.

I've been very, very busy.

Maybe, but sometimes people change.

Not me. Not me. Not for one minute. I might get a little fatter, a little

thinner, get a few more gray hairs, but deep down, you are dealing with the same

basic guy. Got that?

Oh, wait a minute. Excuse me. Hey.

You seen that?

Uh, yes. That's the picture you have in your wallet. I saw it at dinner tonight,

during intermission, and now.

Oh, you didn't see these? No.

You didn't see these. Look at there.

Thank you.

Nothing. I just wondered what you were doing.

Well, I was reading a novel, sir.

With the children gone, I find the household chores just a few minutes in

Well, that's okay. I... I just thought it was so quiet.

Yeah.

Yes, well... Well, perhaps I could pace up and down in my room, sir. The sound

might give you the illusion of activity.

Uncle Bill.

Boy, you sure write slow, Buffy.

Lights out, you guys.

It's too early.

It's too early. Aren't you even going to tell us a story like Uncle Bill does?

You've got your stories at the campfire.

Come on, help me out, you guys. Jody, go to your tent.

I've got five other tents to police.

Jody, I know what we could tell Uncle Bill in the...

Not even a postcard?

No, sir.

Of course, it's possible the children are so thoroughly occupied at camp they

have no time to write.

Yeah, sure.

Still, you'd think... Well, work's coming along fine. That's something.

Let me see that stuff.

I've looked through them twice.

I was successful in obtaining...

Two tickets for Man is a Fool for tonight, sir. Shall we call Miss

again? Oh, no, not her. She's changed.

Yes, from what you tell me, sir, hers is a frothy attitude.

She seems to have a tendency to dismiss the things that matter.

Yeah. Listen, I'm going to call Olivia Muirfield. Now, she's a lot of fun.

Besides, she's sensible.

Sir, we might explain.

We're calling at the last moment.

Because we've only just been able to procure the theater tickets.

That's good thinking, French.

We're having a lot of fun this week, huh?

We are indeed, sir.

The play didn't bring that out, Bill.

Well... Oh, that music.

French remembered.

Still nothing from the kids.

Not very hard to write a postcard or call up.

I well remember.

French made the most wonderful fondue and champagne.

Marvelous taste.

Yeah. Now, listen, getting back to what we were saying about the play. Now, if

that guy, that guy playing the father, if he was the kid's father, I'm his

It's the author's point of view, Bill.

Oh, Bill.

French remembered our song.

Yeah.

Well, if he's got that kind of point of view, he shouldn't be writing about

kids.

Let's dance.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, a seven -year -old kid's got a lot more sense than that.

What seven -year -old kid?

The kid in the play, honey. The father treated him like he didn't have a brain

in his head.

But a seven -year -old child does have a rather limited vocabulary.

Oh, you should hear Jody and Buffy.

I mean, kids aren't... You can't treat them like they were household pets or

something. They're human beings, honey.

It's like you and me, except in smaller packages.

All right, Bill, anything you say.

Oh, now, now, come on. Don't just give in like that. If you think I'm wrong,

so. But I'm telling you that I think I'm right in this case. Now, a seven -year

-old kid.

The kid's supposed to be seven in a play, right?

Now, don't you think he'd understand a word like communicate?

I suppose he might.

Well, of course he would.

Here, hold that.

Go to your seat.

Now, take a look at this. Now, that's Buffy's spelling paper, see?

Form, look, play, glass, coat, remember.

Three syllables.

That's quite a word, remember.

Now, that's Jody's. Let, flee, formal, like, sorry, that.

Ah, now.

Buffy did that. She's six.

Six.

That.

Now, you want to see what a 15 -year -old can do?

This is Sissy's composition for English class, What My Vacation Meant to Me.

Let's read that.

Come on, read it.

Stop being so busy so we can get this letter sent.

boy, we got. And Buffy's got very good reflexes, too, for a little girl. Well,

so is Sissy, for that matter. She's got very good reflexes. Of course, she's

getting a little bit ladylike now, you know, a little too grown up for touch

football. Now, I want to show you this.

See, Jody got this for doing the most push -ups in his age group in school.

It's, um, it's very pretty. Isn't that pretty?

Push -up champion.

Oh, I gotta show you that plaque that Buffy got. No.

Thank you, but I really do have to be going.

I'm a working girl, you know.

Well, gee, you have to go already. Seems like you just got here.

Well, no, it's been hours.

Well, thank you for the marvelous midnight supper.

Good night.

Oh, you don't have to show me out. I know the way.

Bye.

Boy, she changed.

what an isolated place this apartment is. You can't even hear the traffic down

below. True, sir.

Oh, there's nothing in the mail, sir.

You sure?

Quite.

But we must presume the children are thoughtless, sir.

I mean, well, every nanny in the park assures me of that fact.

You've been talking to the nannies about not hearing from the kids?

Oh, purely as research, sir.

I now have time to take long walks and...

Well, conversation ensues when one plants one's person upon a park bench.

Well, you'd think I'd just send one little card, that's all.

If you're about to telephone the camp, sir, they have no instrument with which

to answer.

You called?

Yes, sir. I reached a village called Quihonsic. The operator assures me the

children arrive there safely.

The camp uses that telephone in an emergency for calls to the outside

at least they're safe.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

Oh, that's all right.

I was looking around.

Yes, sir. Are you looking for something, Frank?

Oh, no, sir, no. I was... Well,

I fancied I heard something in you.

Well, I guess even Mrs. Beasley misses him now.

Yes, sir.

Mrs. Beasley.

A thought just struck me. Well, later. Later.

Now, French, you know Buffy never goes anywhere without Mrs. Beasley.

Precisely. She must be miserable up there without her.

Exactly. Psychologically, the child should not be separated from the doll.

yet. Exactly, sir. So that only leaves one course open. We've got to get the

doll up there to the camp even if there's only a few days left for

True, sir.

Shall I purchase two tickets to Kwihonsik, sir? Right. Two tickets for

Kwihonsik.

Did you call about the tickets?

Yes, sir. We're to pick them up at the airport.

Oh, wait a minute.

Forgot Mrs. Beasley.

Good. Hi, Mr. French.

Where are you going?

We missed you.

What are the suitcases for?

Hey, what are you doing here?

Aren't you glad to see us? What do you mean, am I glad to see you?

Why don't you take Mrs. Beasley with you?

Well, sis, how come you brought him home so early?

Well, Mr. Bailey said that anybody who wanted to leave early could because he

had special cards leaving to take back some of the kids. So?

The ones that could only stay a few days.

So when you didn't write us, we came back.

What do you mean I didn't write to you?

Well, we didn't get any letters.

Did you write?

Well... Did you write?

Why, I fancy I was so preoccupied with not having heard from them, I neglected

to.

Good heaven, what an impasse.

Anyway, we missed you.

So we came home.

Have another pancake.