Original subtitles

At present, he's engaged on a construction site in New Jersey.

Then we can't tell him our surprise.

He's always engaged somewhere.

Somewhere far away.

New Jersey's only across the river.

Then he won't be away long?

In fact, we expect him tonight for dinner.

It's good manners.

To express enthusiasm pianissimo.

Well, they're pretty proud of themselves. They're not new kids at

anymore. They're in upper first grade.

Upper first grade?

The school got a bunch of new kids.

They're in lower first grade.

For students.

Mr. Davis will be very proud.

We got new books.

Where'd you come from?

Well, you shouldn't wander around out there. It's dangerous.

You all by yourself?

Oh, hi.

Hello. We're looking for Tim Keating.

Oh, Tim will be back in a minute. I'm Bill Davis.

I'm Meg.

Oh, Tim's your father.

And her grandpa, huh?

This is Sally.

Hi. She's just beautiful, Mrs... Miss Keating.

I'm just babysitting. Sally's my niece.

Oh, Miss Keating, you're an aunt.

Well, that's great. I'm an uncle.

Congratulations. Thank you.

Oh, hi, Meg.

Well, how's my big girl, huh?

You got a kiss with your grandpa?

Oh, Meg, did you meet Bill Davis?

Indeed she did.

Uh, Dad, you took the keys to the car this morning.

Oh, now, don't tell me I'm getting forgetful in my old age.

See you later.

Nice to have met you, Miss Keating.

Meg.

Will you be home the usual time, Dad?

I don't know. Bill and I have got a problem here.

It's kind of hard to concentrate.

Hey, wait now. Why don't we go to our place where we can work in peace and

quiet? And then later we can have dinner with Meg, huh?

Wait, you're kind of putting her on the spot, aren't you? Oh, there's always a

place at our table for you, Phil.

Right, Meg?

See, see, I get it.

What'd she say?

She said yes.

Are you sure this is the reader?

That's what it said.

our Dick and Jane.

We got promoted from Dick and Jane, and I'm glad. All they ever did was

run and play.

And watch Spot.

Oh, see Spot.

Oh, see Spot run.

Run, Spot, run.

in school today?

We got new school books.

Well, that's good.

Like the fella says, reading books is the best way to learn all kinds of junk.

Someday maybe we'll be almost as smart as you, Mr. Frack.

Well, you just might.

We got put in upper first grade.

Sounds like you went right to the top.

Yes, sir.

We did very good.

Want to see our new book?

You bet.

Well, well, well, well, well, well.

Say, you two really must be smart.

I got to get going.

study good.

Because like the fellow said, the difference between dumb and smart is how

you know.

When I grow up, I'm going to be a window cleaner.

Well, goodbye, kids.

Bye, Mr. Frack.

Mr.

Davis is resident.

Hello, French. Listen, I'm not going to make it home for dinner tonight.

We ran into a little problem over here, so I better stay in Jersey till we get

it solved.

Right. Okay, if anybody calls, I'm having dinner at Tim Keating's house.

Very good, son.

Everything okay at home?

Well, the twins had a little surprise for you.

They've been promoted to upper first grade.

It seems they are now classified as students rather than...

Well, that's great.

You tell them I'm real proud of them, huh?

Tell them I'll give them a big hug when I get home.

Yes, sir. So I shall tell them, sir.

Buffy? Jody.

Yes, Mr. Fred? Mr. Fred? Your uncle sends his heartiest congratulations and

us to say he's very proud of your being promoted to upper first grade.

Why does...

Because he's otherwise occupied in New Jersey.

Half the fun of getting promoted was telling Uncle Bill.

You really go for the sailboat stuff?

I sure do.

A couple of friends of mine have really good boats, and they call me on the

weekends to crew for them. It's exciting.

Yeah? I used to do that. I go out in Long Island Sound, but I don't have time

for it anymore. I'm too busy with the kids.

You tied down to a family?

I thought you were footloose like me.

No, I'm not tied down. I just like it that way. I'd rather be with the kids.

Hey, where's Tim?

Ah! He left about an hour ago so we could be alone.

He's trying to be a matchmaker.

Oh. You see, my brother was married at 23 and my sister at 20.

Here I am, doddering and still unspoken for.

Dad's wasting his time. I'm not about to marry anybody.

What do you got against marriage?

It takes all the fun out of romance.

Tim would put you right over his knee if he heard that.

I mean, if I want to go out and dance all night, well, there's nobody going to

lose any sleep over me.

Right.

And if I want to take off any time, any place, nobody's handcuffing me to the

furniture.

Right.

So what are we doing sitting in the living room like an old married couple

a kid sleeping upstairs?

Should we go out and do the town?

Which town?

You pick one.

Good afternoon.

Hi, Mr. French.

Hi.

They don't like upper first grade.

May I inquire why not?

The reading's okay.

So is music appreciation.

All you have to do is listen and stay away.

And I like geography.

And Spanish.

See?

Then?

No math.

Yuck.

Yuck.

Yuck?

Could you explain it to us?

Perhaps you could clarify it for them, Miss Sissy.

Oh, well, I'd like to, but I'm loaded down with homework.

I have to go to the library and then to Sue Ellen's.

We've got a history report due Monday. At least 15 pages.

Maybe Uncle Bill will help us tonight.

Mr. Davis is still otherwise engaged in New Jersey.

He's not coming home for supper.

Oh.

I don't care.

Do you? I like lower first grade.

Uncle Bill will maybe think we're dumb.

I think maybe I am.

Uncle Bill wouldn't be proud of us anymore.

Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

I better try again.

Hi, kids.

Hi, Mr.

Frat.

Well, now, what's wrong?

You two act sadder than a weeping willow peeling onion.

We're worried.

Well, now, let's not do that.

Because like the fellow says, worrying will put rotten -looking wrinkles in

forehead.

What's the trouble?

New math.

New math, huh?

Let me see that.

New math, huh?

Well, the numbers look the same.

Oh, yeah, that's a seven.

Do you understand it, Mr. Frack?

Of course he does.

Nobody's smarter than Mr.

Frack.

Well, hardly nobody.

like to, but maybe you better ask your uncle.

He's away.

And if we don't do new math right, they might not let us stay in upper first

grade. And Uncle Bill won't be proud of us anymore.

Okay, let's get at it.

When you've missed a good education yourself, you like to help other people

one. But let's keep this our own little secret, okay?

Because if the other kids in the building found out that I was helping

they'd want me to help them, and I never would get any windows washed.

Well, now, let's... What is another name for six?

That's kindergarten stuff.

What is another name for six?

The right answer must be half a dozen.

Write it down.

Thanks, Mr. Frack.

We're going to end up knowing more than the teacher.

Listen, I'm just passing through Miss Keating's downstairs double park, so I

just want to get some fresh clothes.

Where are the kids?

I believe they're in their rooms studying, son. Are they all right?

Flourishing. How are they doing on the new grade?

Swimmingly, sir. We seem to have overcome our apprehension about the new

Excuse me, sir. I'll only be a moment. Fine.

Hey, we're...

I'm just going over to New Jersey. That's not far. We can talk on the

We can talk on the phone when you're in Africa.

Yeah, that's right.

Listen, I think it's real great about school. French tells me you're doing

huh?

I guess so.

We sure needed your help with new math.

Real rough, huh?

But you two worked it out all by yourselves, didn't you?

Well, now, listen, maybe Saturday you could go someplace with Mr. French and

celebrate, huh?

And you too, Uncle Bill.

We could all go to the zoo.

Well, I think you're going to have to count me out this time, see?

But that's a real good idea. You all go to the zoo.

waiting. Let's get to work.

Yeah. I'm beginning to enjoy this new math.

Where were we?

Complete each equation.

Equation.

Nice.

Very nice.

Just the two of us. Right.

Hey, listen.

You think it's right for a couple of six -year -old kids to be worrying their

heads about new math?

No. And neither should a couple our age.

Oh, I'm not worried. Not really worried. It's just, you know, I'm responsible

for them if they get bugged about something. Even if it's kid stuff. It

me, too.

Bill, if you're going to worry about those kids all weekend, you're sure not

going to be much help aboard the Marianne.

You're going to forget to duck, and along comes a boom.

Splash.

Listen, I sail on all kinds of ships all over the world, including a Cobra

schooner in the South Seas, and nothing's going to knock me overboard,

Fine. Then we'll go on board Friday night.

And we'll shove off early Saturday morning. And we'll cruise to Southampton

New London.

And then we'll be back in New York Sunday evening.

How many in the crew?

Six, including the foresters. It's their boat. It bleeds six.

The women take the cabin and the men sleep up on deck.

Friday night and Saturday night.

Good. Now I can get home Sunday and I can see the kids before they go to

on Monday.

Oh, here we go again.

Kids. You sound like a mother hen.

I'm sorry.

Bill, how can you travel all over the world for your company when you can't

stand to be away from them for one weekend?

Well, French takes care of them when I'm away.

Besides, Monday I've got to go to Yucatan and start a new bridge.

Yucatan?

Then this will be our last chance to be together for a while.

Just a couple of weeks.

And from Friday night to Sunday night, if you ever once get that far away,

worried uncle expression on your face, I'm going to shove you overboard.

Yes, ma 'am. Well, you won't have to do it because this weekend is going to be

strictly for sailing ships and seagoing adults.

What married couple could suddenly decide to pick up and go sailing?

If we were married, you'd have to take little Sonny on a scout hike and...

I'd be home sewing Little Sister's party dress.

Right. And this way, if we feel like sailing off into the sunset... We

sail right off into the sunset.

You

want

your windbreakers, huh? Yeah, I want those rubber -soled deck shoes.

And we'll have you packed for Yucatan when you return from the cruise.

What's that?

Oh, from the school, son.

Oh. That's probably their progress report from the first grade.

Yeah, that says... Hey, French.

Yes, sir?

It says they're doing fine in all their other subjects but new math.

Oh, no, sir.

She says they had special assistants in class and they seemed to understand.

However, next day their homework is 100 % wrong.

Unless there's marked improvement, I have no choice but to put them back in

lower grade.

And they wanted you to be so proud of them, sir.

Well, maybe I'm...

I know. I'll go and look at their homework. Maybe I'll get some clue from

Oh, hi, Mr. Davis.

How are you, Mr. Frank?

Congratulations on Jody and Buffy being in upper first grade.

Oh, you know about that, huh? Yeah, who would know better?

I was right glad to fill in for you when they needed help on that new math.

Every day this week, I've been learning their brains out.

You've been learning their brains out?

Oh, Mr.

Frack, I got this note from the teacher. Oh, and they're doing okay, huh? Well,

don't thank me, Mr. Davis.

It really is me that should be thanking them.

You don't understand what it means to a fellow like me to have someone like them

look up to him, depend on him.

You wanted to talk about something?

Yeah, Mr. Frack, uh, I really appreciate you helping the kids.

I really do, and I was very kind of you, but I just think that, uh, I think from

here on out, I ought to take over, okay?

Sure, I was just filling in for you.

You'd have been here, I wouldn't have stuck my oar in.

Oh, I know.

Yeah, but if you ever want me to fill in for you again, just holler.

Right. I'll holler, Mr. Frasier.

Yeah. It's like the fella says.

What good are you if nobody needs you?

So long.

So long.

Meg, this is Bill, honey. Listen, I'm not going to be able to go sailing with

you.

Bill, is anything wrong?

No, it's just the twins need me here.

One of them has the chicken pox.

No, no, it's something called new math.

Looks like I'm going to have to straighten them out on it, see?

Bill, you're not helping my ego any.

I mean, turning me down for a session with new math.

I know. I'm sorry, Maggie.

It's just one of those times when I have to do what I have to do, you know what

I mean?

Sure.

Another time.

Bye -bye, Del.

Sir, may we suggest a heavy sweater aboard ship?

This time of year, it could well blow up us our Easter. The barometer's falling

rapidly. Yeah, well, you can forget it now. I'm not going to go.

New plans?

New math.

Oh, I see. I'm sorry, sir.

Who are you looking at?

You.

Why? I look different or something?

No. It's just that we were at the park.

And we played Sissy was the Good Fairy.

And I gave them three wishes.

And I wished that Uncle Bill would be home.

And I wished the same thing three times. And here you are.

There. Now, where else can a guy like me make three wishes come true all at

once?