Original subtitles

It's like old times, Ellen.

You've been away too long.

Well, I can't imagine a more perfect first evening back in New York.

The atmosphere, the cooking.

I can't take credit for either.

Marvelous.

Pardon, Miss Latimer?

French, your Yorkshire pudding is marvelous.

Thank you, madam.

Better than any I tasted in London.

Old family recipe, isn't it, French?

Oh, yes, sir. Handed down from father to son for over 400 years.

Matter of family pride that our Yorkshire pudding was the last dish

Charles I before he was executed.

I bet he couldn't ask for a second.

And your choice of music.

We find the English composers conducive to proper atmosphere.

He's a dream, Bill.

That he is.

Yeah. Well, who's that?

Mother Harry and James Bond?

We came to say goodnight, Uncle Bill.

And Fifth doesn't need dessert there.

Uh -huh.

Well, you had enough dessert.

Besides, you can't sleep with a full stomach.

Can we try?

Happy? Judy?

Good night, and off to bed.

Good night, Miss Leonard. Good night,

Uncle Bill. Good night, Uncle Bill. Good night.

Oh, may we point out, sir, it's exactly 20 minutes till curtain time.

The cab has been ordered, sir. Oh, the theater tickets are in your inside

pocket. Ah.

Thank you, French.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

We still got that date for lunch tomorrow?

Just perfect.

What time?

Hmm? Uh, time for what?

Lunch. The perfect lunch.

Oh!

How about one o 'clock?

Fine.

Good night, Miss Latimer.

A pleasant evening.

Yes, very pleasant.

Mr. Hayden, I have the most wonderful news.

Sit down, Ellen. Tell me all about it.

I have found the ideal man.

What does he do?

Oh, he's a butler.

Butler?

Yes, a gentleman's gentleman.

You mean you're going to marry a gentleman's gentleman?

I'd better start over. Mr. Hayden, I'm not marrying anybody.

This ideal man would be ideal for the Dunholt Marmalade ad.

Oh.

British?

Totally. Just me. A genuine gentleman's gentleman serving Dunholt marmalade. The

exact image we've been looking for.

It's possible. Go ahead, give it a try.

Thank you.

Now I need one more approval.

Well,

and French just isn't the kind of guy. You know, the whole idea of the thing

would make him shudder.

Maybe you better just see if you can find another gentleman's gentleman, huh?

Bill, French is absolutely perfect.

And we'd only need him for one day.

I just don't think he'll do it. French is, he's awful conservative.

But if you at least asked him.

Bill, it means a big promotion for me.

Okay, never let it be said that Bill Davis didn't do his best to promote a

pretty girl.

Yeah.

I'll call you. I'll call you later.

Bye.

What are you doing, Jody?

Fixing Sissy's radio.

Can you fix radios?

I'm finding out.

would do such things.

The familiar musical group there.

It's the Velvet Vulture Festival in WXLY.

I know. Not so loud, huh?

French isn't exactly a fan.

I know.

Where is he?

He's in the kitchen.

He told us to shoot, so we shoot.

Good evening, French.

Oh, good evening, sir.

Ah.

Miss Latimer today.

Oh, yes, sir.

Seems to make quite an impression.

We do our best, sir.

She called me, but actually the call was about you.

Oh? Me, sir?

Yeah. See, she... Well, actually, she'd like a little favor.

A favor, sir?

Your services. For a day. Just one day.

Oh, a meeting of some sort, sir? I mean, a Sunday brunch, perhaps? A garden

party, maybe?

No. No, um, well, French, actually, she'd like you to

pose for an ad.

An advertisement, sir?

Our countenance splashed about for everyone to see? I mean, billboards,

magazines?

Oh, no, nothing like that, no.

Oh, this would be very dignified, a very small ad in a newspaper, just a

newspaper. Dunholt marmalade.

They're not a male model, sir.

Well, I told her you wouldn't be interested.

Oh, well, I trust you won't be too disappointed, sir.

Of course, on the other hand, I did tell her that I'd try to change her mind.

Oh, any particular reason, sir?

Very particular reason.

Oh, you know, I am rather fond of Miss Latimer, and this would be very

to her, too.

Yes, sir, well...

Okay, sir, we'll do our best to accommodate both of you, sir.

French.

Sir, I trust this can be done quickly and forgotten, sir.

Small answer.

Very small.

Thank you, sir.

Thank you.

Oh, Miss Latimer, must I go through with this pity patting on my brow?

It's necessary, French, to eliminate the highlights.

Sir, what do you intend to do with that comb?

Just going to fluff up your beard a little.

Sir, my beard is non -fluffy, groomed to my liking, and shall remain so. Now, go

away.

Now, ready for the actor.

Now,

remember, French.

standing back of the tea cart, hold up the marmalade, and start to dip into it

with a spoon.

And give us a great big smile.

Smile, sir?

Yes. You're supposed to be serving your favorite marmalade to the Duke.

Oh, which Duke, sir?

Any Duke.

Oh, I'd rather you'd be a little more specific, if you don't mind, sir.

All right.

The Duke of...

Glastonbury. Oh, dear me, I am sorry, sir, but there is no Duke of

Then, uh, um, make it an earl or a lord. Anything to get over our message.

Very well, sir, we shall, um, let's see. Yes, sir, we shall visualize Lord

Thornton. His lordship was always very fond of sweets.

Good. All right, all right. Who is going to pose him?

Sir, I am going to pose myself.

Glad you could drop by, Bill.

How's it going?

French okay?

Well, he's a little nervous, but he'll be wonderful.

Oh, Mr.

Davis.

Oh, after you left the house, Mr.

Hagen called. He can't make that handball game this afternoon, sir. Oh,

too bad.

Where'd he go?

Excuse me, sir.

Certainly.

Get away with that thing. Take me as I am or not at all. Oh, go away.

Instead of handball, sir, supposing I call Mr. Harbach up and arrange a game

squash?

France, never mind about me. Now get back to the marmalade.

Oh, if you say so, sir.

We'll be fine.

Watch.

Okay? Ready?

No, I'm afraid not.

This is not a marmalade spoon.

than easier with Laurence Olivier.

Forget the spoon, French, and just hold up the marmalade.

Good.

Hold it.

A full page.

Wait till Mr. French sees this.

He's pretty.

Maybe he's smiling because we weren't there.

Well, children, are we ready for the park?

Look, Mr. French, it's you.

Good heavens.

It's not a small advertisement at all. It's a full page.

Mrs. Beasley thinks you're beautiful.

It's appalling.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

Thought you were on your way to the park.

Sir, I'm on my way into hibernation.

Oh. Oh,

that's terrific.

But, sir, I was under the impression that this was to be a small

Well, so was I. They didn't tell me they were going to do that, but they must

have been very impressed to go all the way with it. That's going to be great

Ellen.

My friend, sir.

In their eyes, I shall appear, well, most, well, most undignified, sir.

French, you're just too sensitive. Now, I guarantee you, by the time I get back

from Washington on Monday, it'll all be forgotten.

I hope you're all right, sir.

Why, that should be undone.

Mr. Branch, can we go to the merry -go -round?

All the kids and nannies are there.

No, we shall stay here.

That's a splendid suggestion.

Come on.

Oh, I wish to hide.

Well,

Mr. French.

Oh, how do you do, Mr. Withers?

By the by.

Have you glanced at page five?

Oh, page five.

You've seen it, then?

At breakfast.

Nearly choked on me muffins.

Yes, no doubt I'd have done the same thing.

Had I seen your photograph.

Well, you never would, of course.

Excellent likeness.

Rather a ridiculous smile.

They instructed me to look like that.

How much... marmalade you receive for posing.

Mr. Winters, I deplore your innuendo. And I deplore publicity seekers.

I assure you, sir, so do I. Page five speaks for itself.

Good day, Mr. French.

Oh, slings and arrows about rate of fortune.

Wait there, Dorothy.

Girls, girls, he's here in person.

Oh, Mr. French, we were just talking about your beautiful picture.

Oh, your smile was dazzling. It has to be dazzling. We have a celebrity in our

midst. Dazzling?

It is you. You can't possibly mean me.

Indeed we do. Please.

Mr.

French, I wonder, would you be kind enough to autograph page five for me?

Ladies, surely you don't want my autograph. Of course, please. We

Very well, ladies. I mean, if you insist.

Ellen, about that Dunholt Marmalade ad.

I've seen the reports. Marmalade sales up all over the area.

Gave me a notion. Ellen, we're going to sign up French as the Dunholt Marmalade

Goodwill Ambassador.

Send them all around the country on a five -week tour.

Chicago, New Orleans, San Francisco.

Well, that might present a problem. He was reluctant to pose for even one ad.

He's a butler, isn't he? We'll give him a chance to get out of that kind of

work. He'll jump at it.

I'll call him.

But first I'll have to call Bill Davis in Washington and get his permission.

Okay.

Thank you very much, madam. Good day to you.

Yes, sir, Miss Latimer.

Rather puzzling.

Puzzling? Yes, sir, she asked me if you'd spoken to me yet regarding some

decision.

Oh, yeah,

you know, Mr.

Hayden, her boss, has got another nutty idea. He wants you to be the Dunholt

Marmalade Goodwill Ambassador nationally.

Rationally, sir?

A goodwill ambassador, sir?

I told her you wouldn't go for it. You know, five weeks of traveling all around

the country.

Interviews, publicity, all that.

In the spotlight every minute.

You'd hate it.

Oh, yes, I'd hate it. Or at least one would think.

And then, sir, there's always the question of the children.

That's right. Who's going to take care of Buffy and Jody?

Well, sir, we could inquire of Miss Favisham.

Just average.

She's quite trustworthy, sir.

Oh, yes, I know. I just meant she's still working for the Whitleys, isn't

Oh, yes, yes, sir, but they've taken the young ones to visit relatives.

She's free for at least a month.

Listen,

French, you're not agreeing to this because you know I kind of like Miss

Latimer, are you?

Not exactly, sir.

Excuse me, sir. I'll contact Miss Havisham. I'd better do it myself, you

sir, because if we lose her, we'd be in rather a mess, wouldn't we, sir?

Your tour sounds really exciting, Mr. French.

Quite. Nonetheless, I shall feel a pang of regret upon leaving.

What time's your appointment, French?

Oh, I'm due at the photographer's studio within the hour, sir. Plenty of time to

take the twins to school.

Oh, Sissy can take them today.

Oh, sure.

Come on, kid, just we'll get our books.

They're gonna miss you, you know.

Yes, sir, just as we shall miss them, sir.

Well, come on, I can drop you off on the way downtown.

Oh, very good, sir.

I'm, uh...

You know, sir, I wonder if you'd like to view the photographic session.

You know, I'm becoming quite professional, they tell me.

For example, sir, the marmalade smile.

Got it.

Just one more and we're finished over here, Mr. French.

Oh, Bill, he'll be wonderful for us.

He's going to be ruined as a butler for us.

You do understand the image we're trying to get.

Oh, perfectly, sir, yes. As I taste a spoonful of the marmalade, an expression

of utter delight.

Right. All set?

Any time.

Ready, Mr. French?

Taste the marmalade.

Something wrong?

Oh, this... This... What's the matter with it?

Without a doubt, Mr. Hayden, it's the worst marmalade I've ever tasted in my

life.

Doesn't like it?

But, Mr. French, it's very popular.

Try another spoonful.

Think of the money you'll be making.

Sir.

My taste buds are not for sale.

I hereby resign as the Dunholt Marmalade Goodwill Ambassador.

No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. We have a contract. We'll sue.

Uh, Mr. Hayden, you can't expect a man of French's character to endorse a

product he doesn't like.

We expect him to abide by his contract. There is nothing in here about his

liking the marmalade.

French, the Davis and Gaynor attorneys are at your disposal.

Well, thank you, Mr. Davis.

But I shall make the tour.

Good. And at each and every stop, I shall point out the unfortunate taste of

this miserable marmalade.

Let's get out of here, Miss Latimer.

Sorry, Ellen.

Well, French, I'm glad you're stuck by your guns.

You lose a job and I lose a girl.

I'm sorry, sir, but it was a matter of my honest opinion.

I told Mr. Hayden I forgot my gloves.

I really came back to see you, French.

I'm sorry, Miss Latimer, if I caused you any trouble. Don't apologize.

Other gentlemen's gentlemen are available to us, but men with your

rare.

Well, now, where were we?

Well, I was just suggesting dinner on the terrace.

Your children wish to say good night.

Good night, Uncle Vladimir. Good night, Uncle Vladimir.

Boy, are we glad Mr. French is our nanny again.

Now, children, I've spoken to you concerning that, uh, word.

Now off to bed.

I'm glad you changed your mind.

You gave up a wonderful deal, French. You would have been famous as the

man.

If I may quote Miss Latimer, what is fame but an empty bubble?

Well, now, excuse me. The bubble has broken, and I will do the dishes.