All language subtitles for Eight Is Enough s03e28 The Graduates

Would you be upset if I stayed back in
the fourth grade?

What?

I figured you'd be upset.

I don't understand, Nicholas. Your last
report called you had four excellents

and one very satisfactory.

How could you fail the fourth grade?

I didn't. Kenny P. Landers did.

Oh, yes. Well, that figures.

What did he do? Bite the teacher?

No. He snuck some bad words into our
spelling list.

Good old Kenny P.

Yeah. Good old Kenny P.

Fifth grade would be pretty lonesome
without him.

Now, wait a minute, Nicholas. You can't
stay back in the fourth grade just

because your best pal is there. But,
Dad, Kenny says they save all the mean

teachers for fifth grade.

Oh, well, it used to be that way, but
now I think they kind of spread them

around.

Besides, I hear that when you go to the
fifth grade, you get a bigger allowance,

and you can stay up until 9 .45.

Really? Oh, yes, really.

Dad, do fifth graders get to use the
words in Kenny P. Lander's spelling

No, Nicholas.

That's reserved for fathers when they're
thinking about Kenny P.

Darn. That's right, Nicholas.

Darn. You can go ahead to the fifth
grade, but you keep your language back

the fourth grade.

There's a magic in the early morning we
found

When the sunrise smiles on everything

around It's a portrait of

the happiness that we feel and always
will

is enough to fill our lives with love

oh we spend our days like bright and

shiny new dimes if we're ever puzzled

by the changing time there's a

plate of homemade wishes on the kitchen

It is enough to fill our lives with
love.

Okay, Dad, you're on.

All right.

There. What do you think?

I think it's square.

Nancy, honest pride is never square.

I meant the picture, Dad, not why you're
starting this gallery.

Well, when a man has one daughter
graduating from high school and another

graduating from college in practically
the same week, he has to honor the

occasion. When we get, Elizabeth's
picture should go right here, and then

Joanie's picture should go over here
next to Mary.

Gee, Dad, you almost make me wish I was
graduating from something.

Don't wish. Harm her.

Your publisher's on the telephone.

Oh, no, no. You mean his secretary's on
the phone waiting to put me on hold for

five minutes.

No, I mean your publisher, Mr. Randolph,
is on the telephone. Mr. Randolph?

He's... Oh, then that's important.
Goodbye. Wait, I'll be back.

What do you think, Abby?

Square? Very.

But I love him.

I don't know, Mary. I think that we
should all pool our money together and

each graduate one nice present.

Like what?

I know what Joanie wants.

Oh, you do? What? Speak up. A yellow
sports car.

Nicholas, when you find a yellow sports
car for $20, let us know. Oh, really?

Maybe it would be easier if we start
with Elizabeth.

Well, actually, I don't think we should
get her anything.

Why not?

Because she's been walking around like
she's hot stuff.

Nicholas, don't take it personally.

She's just suffering from senioritis.

You know what?

Senioritis. It's a classic disease known
to attack high school students in

graduation week. Yes, characterized by
giddiness and waves of self -importance.

Well, can't we get her some medicine?

No, Nicholas, I think this is one
disease we just have to let ride its

Well, I hope I don't catch it.

Ah, you'll catch it in exactly eight
years.

That's another good reason to flunk with
Kenny P.

Well, anyway, I'm afraid I have some bad
news, mostly for you, Elizabeth.

Well, what is it? Well, I just had a
call from my publisher. As you know, he

supposed to be a speaker at your
graduation.

Well, he had to cancel out, and guess
who's filling in for him? Yours truly.

Well, that's great, Dad.

How can you say that? I only have two
days to write a speech. It'll take me

long to just stop shaking. Well, we know
you can do it, and if you need any

help, just call on us. That's what we're
here for.

But aren't you worried that I might
embarrass you in front of your

I mean... What if my notes blow off the
rostrum? What if I start to stutter? You

never stutter. No, but maybe I'll start.

Don't sweat it, Dad. Everybody needs
something to laugh at at those dull old

ceremonies. That doesn't help, Tommy. I
want Elizabeth's graduation to be

perfect. You'll do terrific, Dad.

No, all I'll do is make Joanie's speaker
look great by comparison.

Susan!

That's not gonna help.

Why is she always late?

Susan's not always late. Nancy's the one
who's always late. Why did she pick

this morning to be different?

Let's see, I give up.

Why did Susan pick this morning to be
different?

Sorry, I was trying to lighten things up
a little bit.

I've noticed an awful lot of tension for
me these last few days. Hey, Mary, why

should I be tense, huh?

Come on.

This is really a great time in my life.

I'm graduating from college.

I know.

You remember I went through mine last
year.

Oh, I was happy.

Nervous. Excited.

Confused.

And tense.

Yeah. Yeah, I remember that.

I'm sorry I sent it to you. All right.

The big sister story.

Joanie, you've got all my sympathies.

I remember how scary it was for me
when...

When I finally realized that college was
over, now I had to go out and face the

real world.

I think I was copping out to be on
another seven years of education.

No, I don't think you were copping out
getting a doctor's degree.

As a matter of fact, I think I'm going
to go straight into grad school from the

quarter. Really?

Yeah.

I think I should go right for the Ph .D.
in dramatic art. That way I can perfect

my craft and have teaching to fall back
on.

That makes a lot of sense.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's a logical, sensible,
mature thing to do.

Very mature.

Yeah.

Unless I just take off from New York.

Okay, so that's 20 crawl and 20 side
stroke.

No problem, Mr. Napier. All right, I'll
see you about four.

Bye -bye.

Tommy, can you hurry? I'm going to be
late. We've got plenty of time. Not if I

want to spend every minute I can with
the people I might never see again.

Look, that was a very important phone
call. I got an interview this afternoon

for the ideal summer job.

A what? Babysitting John Travolta? For
you, maybe, but for me, it's lifeguard

the city pool.

Can you believe it? Four bucks an hour
for working on my tan and comparing

bikinis. Can we please talk about it on
the way? I've worked 12 years to reach

senior week, and I want to enjoy this.
You mean you want to lord it over us

peons? Exactly.

Yeah, we're all a bunch of nerds. We are
not nerds. Okay, then. We're robots.

Baby robots.

Yeah.

Do you remember the class of 74?

Now, they had style.

They nailed all the furniture in the
faculty lounge to the ceiling. Well, big

deal. Anybody can crucify a little
furniture.

Yeah? Well, so far, we aren't even
anybody.

We're the forgotten robots of 79.

Must I remind you people that the tardy
bell has rung? Well, not for us, Miss

Ryder. We're seniors.

Young man, you are still students in
this school until the moment of

And as long as that is the case, you
will follow the rules set down by the

administration of this institution.

Even she thinks we're nerds and robots.

Yeah, you'd think that after slaving for
12 years in this institution, she'd

remember that we're seniors.

Oh, she'll remember us all right.

Old Stonewall, are you kidding?

Watch how I'm kidding.

Graduations at Sacramento Central High
School are not a novelty for me.

I have already had the privilege of
attending the ceremonies of my five

children. Tonight, it is with great
pride that I witness the commencement of

number six. My youngest daughter,
Elizabeth, is about to step across the

boundary of childhood.

What do you think?

Don't quit your day job.

I wasn't considering commencement
addresses for a living. I just want the

feedback on the emotional content.

Frankly, Mr. Bradford, I was choked up.

Really? You mean the part about the
boundary of childhood?

No.

When I realized how much it means to you
that Elizabeth is getting her diploma.

Oh, it shows, huh?

Yeah, it shows, Mr. Bradford.

Well, it should.

I mean, there were lots of times I
wondered if I could ever get my family

raised.

I need milestones like this, Donna.

I really need them.

Elizabeth Bradford, Mr. Gillette.

I should have known a Bradford was
involved.

Is this everybody, Miss Penrose?

I'm sorry, Elizabeth.

Somebody recognized me and I had to
tell. If I didn't, the whole graduation

would be canceled.

Mr. Gillette, well, now that you've
located us all and we say we're sorry,

the class get to graduate?

We don't want them to hate us, Mr.
Gillette. They won't hate you.

Because you have responsibly come forth
to admit your guilt, the graduation will

go on as scheduled.

Thank you, Mr. Diller. But obviously the
five of you will not be allowed to

participate.

Well, it takes more work than your cross
-chested carry bracket, but it looks

like you can handle the job.

That's terrific, Mr. Napier. Pool opens
the first day after school closes.

You available?

Yeah, sure, I'm available.

Good. Welcome aboard.

Thanks. Oh, there's just one little
thing.

It's your hair.

Well, I can wear a swim cap, can't I?
Yeah, you can wear a swim cap, but first

you're going to have to cut that mop.

Cut it?

No hair longer than two inches.

And I prefer a G .I.

A G .I.? That's my rules, Bradford. So
if you want the job...

Abby,

he didn't even consider my 12 years of
good grades, my school activities, or

anything.

And this happened after you apologized?

Yeah. And then he tricked Julie into
thinking on us.

You know, other senior classes
practically destroyed the school, all we

drop a dumb water balloon.

And knowing Michael, he probably missed
the target.

Which was?

Well, I didn't really see exactly.

It was just the stairs when all the kids
were in classes.

You're right, Elizabeth. I don't
understand this either.

What am I going to tell Dad?

Excuse me, Dad. Got a minute?

I'm afraid I'm going to miss that
terrific speech you're writing. I can't

graduate. I have to pick up my diploma
this summer in Gillette's office while

his secretary glares at me.

You're not going to tell your father
anything yet.

Because I'm going to speak to Mr.
Gillette for you.

Well, thanks a lot, Abby, but you don't
know what you're getting yourself into.

Gillette thrives on complaining mothers.
He destroys about 50 a day.

Well, I'm not going to talk to him as a
complaining mother. I'll talk to him as

one professional educator to another.

Thanks, Abby.

First dibs on the shower. Hold it, hold
it. Aren't you forgetting something?

What? Senor.

Mary, senor, he doesn't count against
two hours in the gym. Uh -uh. Oh, no.

What?

Oh, I knew it. It's from the park
service. I've got to leave my campsite

Yosemite by Friday or I'll lose it. What
campsite at Yosemite?

Front Day in the summer. Wait a minute,
Johnny. What happened to New York? New

York? Johnny, but I'm to grad school. I
can go to grad school in September.

I need the summer to get my head
straight. Wait a minute, Johnny. Hold

think we'd better talk for a minute. I
know that this is a hard time for you,

all right, but...

Why don't you pick something and stay
with it for at least a morning? That's

really easy for you to say, Mayor.

And you know what you are.

Joanie, so do you.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Joanie, relax.

What you're going through is just like a
case of stage fright.

Right.

I guess it isn't.

Hiya, Joanie. I'll take a glass.

You know, you're just the person I
wanted to see.

Yeah, me?

Of course. You're the speech expert in
this family, right?

Oh, yeah.

Dad, I'm not an expert on anything.

Of course you are. That's why I want
your opinion on my first draft.

Dad, a family expert's one thing, but...
I mean, an expert out there is

impressed more than eight people.

Well, you can impress anybody you want
to. You'll be outstanding, just the way

you've always been.

I'm not sure I haven't wasted the last
four years of my life.

I mean, am I really an actress? I mean,
is that what I should really do with my

life?

We've had misunderstandings before when
I treated a college senior like she was

still a very little girl.

I don't want to make that mistake again.
Your future is up to you.

Oh, that's good.

Your future is up to you.

Is up to you.

It's imperative that I see Mr. Gillette
before he leaves the office.

Well, it's about my stepdaughter,
Elizabeth.

Yes, he's one of the students involved
in the little water balloon incident.

Well, how late did he say?

Um, Abby, do you have a few minutes to
talk?

It's on the phone, Joanie. Can't you
see?

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I'll wait.

Come on. He says it's very important.

Well, so is this. Could you hold on just
a minute, please?

Okay, thank you.

Joanie, Elizabeth's right. This is a
very important and private conversation.

Could I talk to you later?

Oh, you want me to leave?

Now you're getting the picture?

Relax, Elizabeth. It's a personal
matter, Joanie. I'm sure you understand.

Um, yeah.

I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?

I'm not sure I'll be here, then. I'll
have to get back in touch with you,

I guess I don't have a choice.

So I'm back.

Uh, 5 .30, okay? That'll be great.

I'll be there then. Thank you.

I look like a bowling ball.

And you smell funny, too.

You're a big help.

Oh, oh, oh, Joanie, Joanie, Joanie,
wait. How do I look? You look like a

ball. Tommy, don't bother me right now,
okay? No, no, see, you don't understand.

I've got this terrible decision to make.

Do I take the best summer job in
Sacramento and look like this, or do I

and stay a fox?

Tommy, I can't decide my own life right
now. How can I possibly decide yours?

But I've got to ask somebody.

Well, I have to give you the answer I
just got.

Busy. Some help you are.

Hey, Tommy, I care, and I think you
should look like a bowling ball.

You do?

Yeah. Because if you're the lifeguard, I
can get into the pull frame.

Mr.

Gillette, I'm Abby Bradford. Ah, yes,
Elizabeth's mother.

No, actually, I'm her stepmother.

I see.

Please, have a seat. Thank you.

Mom, I appreciate you granting me this
appointment so quickly.

As I recall, we've had several such
meetings before concerning the other and

equally trouble -prone children in your
family.

No, actually, this is the first time
I've been here in a parental capacity.

Really? Yes. And yet you seem very
familiar.

Well, that's because I was here for
several weeks as a substitute teacher in

Anne Cavalluzzi's English literature
class.

That's where we met. Yes.

So you see, Mr. Gillette, I'd like to
speak to you today not as a doting

here to defend her precious little
child, but as one professional educator

another. All right, Mrs. Bradford, that
would be very refreshing.

Thank you.

I think if you'll examine Elizabeth's
record, you'll find it quite impressive.

She has excellent grades and heavy
participation in school activities and a

-perfect attendance record.

I mean, should all of this be erased
with one harmless little prank?

As a professional educator, Mrs.
Bradford, you should be aware that

pranks get worse every year. If we don't
draw the line somewhere, it could

escalate into a very serious problem.

I understand your concern, Mr. Gillette,
but in Elizabeth's case, this is hardly

a major prank.

Really?

Just what did Elizabeth tell you about
it?

Well, just that she and some of her pals
dropped this water balloon down the

stairwell. That's all.

I'm afraid you were more a fond parent
than an impartial professional when you

bought that part of her story.

Her story?

Did she mention that they deliberately
dropped that water balloon on one of our

best teachers?

No, she didn't.

I hope you will talk to her about her
lack of complete honesty.

Yes, I will.

Can we do tell her the latest
developments?

The teacher, Miss Ryder, slipped on the
wet stairs.

At first, we thought she had sustained
only minor bruises.

Unfortunately, the pain worsened as the
day went on. I have just heard from the

hospital where she was taken.

Miss Ryder has a broken ankle and will
require surgery.

I'm sorry.

Mrs. Bradford, as a professional
colleague, I'm sure you must concur with

simply cannot allow Elizabeth to
graduate.

Agreed?

You didn't even tell me the truth.

Abby, I'm sorry, but I didn't actually
see Miss Ryder on the stairs.

Well, that's just great. I mean, why
don't you just be like Nicholas and

your fingers and say the lie doesn't
count?

I told you I'm sorry.

Well, here's the sorriest part.

As a result of the balloon incident,
Miss Ryder slipped on the stairs and

her ankle.

Oh, no.

Yeah, and she's in the hospital, and
she's waiting for surgery.

Surgery?

Abby, I had no idea she could get hurt.

I'm really sorry.

Yeah, I know you are, but see, the thing
is that it's not seeing your funny

games anymore.

What do I tell Dad?

Abby, you said you'd help me.

Okay, okay. I'll think of something. I
mean, the least I can do is feel him out

for you.

Are you sure you got a haircut?

Now, what does it look like?

Looks like a fake.

Nicholas, how could you say that?

Well, I don't like the way it looks
around the ears, and the color's weird.

Look, you know what color my hair is.
Strangers wouldn't, so they'd think I

a haircut.

No, they'd think it was a fake.

I think you're prejudiced. I'm going to
get some other opinions.

No, wait.

I'll tell you exactly what I think of
it.

What? Well, one of my... Hamsters died,
and you're wearing a fur hat.

Tom?

I'm busy.

This speech deadline is ridiculous.

I have to talk to you. Not now. I will
simply not embarrass Elizabeth at this

happiest time in her life.

Well, see, that's what I have to talk to
you about.

Are you busy? Can we talk now, maybe?
Look, I think I'd just better retreat to

nice hot tub.

Right now?

It's been a hard day.

Yeah, I mean, you've noticed.

Can we just regroup and find some time
tomorrow?

When?

I don't know. I'll have to let you know,
okay?

I'll have to make an appointment.

I beg your pardon?

Forget it, Abby. Just forget I even
asked.

No, Tommy, it does not look like you got
your hair cut.

Actually, it looks more like you've been
standing on your head in a pile of

fungus.

Actually, I think you could get the job,
Tommy.

That is, if you were auditioning for the
gong show. Okay, okay. I just thought

I'd try it, all right?

I guess I'm going to really have to face
the scissors.

Don't take it so hard, Tommy. I can
remember when you were bald.

Big deal. I was a baby, and I didn't
know any better.

Well, look at it this way, Tommy.

When you're a lifeguard, all the girls
will be looking at your legs, not your

head. His leg?

Yeah. What do you look for when you see
a lifeguard?

Oh, character, intellect, artistic
sensitivity.

Right.

That's what Joanie would look for.
Right, Joanie?

Right, Joanie?

What? Where are you?

Where am I?

I don't know.

You tell me.

Tell me.

What? I don't know. There's something
very strange about that girl.

I've been looking for you.

Well, whatever it is, can it wait?

I think it's been waiting long enough. I
have to talk to you in private.

Have you been listening in on Abby and
me?

Not since that time last summer when you
caught me and almost pulled my arm off.

Oh, good.

Well, what do you want to talk about?

Well, this whole family has been doing
nothing but guessing. And I figured it'd

be a lot better if you told me and I
could tell them.

About what?

About your graduation present.

My present?

Yeah, why should you get something you
don't even want?

Um, Nicholas, I don't want to talk about
it right now, okay?

I mean, you don't have any ideas either?

Yeah, yeah, that's it.

Well, would you take money?

I'd take money.

Dad, do you want to see me?

Oh, yes, Tommy, come on in.

Hi, Tommy.

Thanks for coming. I'll tell you what it
is.

I didn't want to bother your sister, you
know, while she's enjoying getting

ready for the big night tomorrow.

And I just wanted to know if I could
read you part of my speech and you let

know whether you think that I'm on
target for the younger generation.

Okay, Dad, sure.

Take a minute.

As you, the graduating class of 1979, go
out into the world, you will find

numerous choices before you.

Weigh your options and choose wisely.

Know that in your choices rests the
future of the world.

Now, do you think that will meet the
approval of your fellow students?

Well, frankly, Dad, I... It's a little
corny, right? Suppose I take the plot

about the future of the world.

Well, it's not so much corny, it's just
I think it's a bit abstract.

Abstract? Well, yeah, I think the kids
would be more interested in the real

issues of life.

What do you mean? For instance, what?

For instance, uh...

how much a person should sacrifice for
the sake of a summer's employment.

Oh, yes, that's a good point.

That's a very good point. Real -life,
everyday issues be specific.

Speaking of real -life, everyday issues,
should I get a haircut?

A haircut?

You want to get a haircut?

Oh, listen, Dad, I... Well, this is as
gratifying as Joni and Elizabeth

graduating. You've been a big help,
Tommy. I mean, first this discerning

criticism on my speech, and now you want
to get a haircut.

You have no idea how satisfying it is
when you can rely on your children for

mature behavior.

Dad, please, can I say something? You
don't have to. You've done enough

I'll take it alone from here.

And if I can do you any favors, just let
me know.

Sure, Dad.

Elizabeth, I couldn't reach your father.
He's all locked in, busy writing a

speech in your honor.

Just wait till I start lecturing in my
honor and everybody's giggling about my

empty seat.

There must be something we can do. What?

Well, I mean, I've worked 12 years for
this night.

Maybe because Dad's the graduation
speaker, they'll give me some special

consideration.

Consideration? Well, after all, he is
Tom Bradford.

He's doing the school a favor. Maybe
they could do one for him.

You could talk to Gillette. No,
Elizabeth.

I've already talked to Gillette.

I thought you were going to help me. And
I have helped you.

Elizabeth, how would you feel if Mr.
Gillette had a daughter and her

recklessness helped to get a teacher
hurt and his influence got her off?

you think that was right?

I guess not.

Well, what do I do?

Well, I guess you're going to have to
start by accepting a few things.

Like not graduating.

Accept it.

Along with some responsibility.

Elizabeth, there's a lady in the
hospital.

This writer has a broken ankle.

Maybe you could start thinking about her
problems for a change.

I'm really sorry.

You're sorry?

Hey, Elizabeth, were you talking to Abby
again?

Just don't bug me, okay, Joanie?

Who is it?

It's Joanie.

Oh, come in, Joanie.

Abby,

I'm sorry to bother you again, but I saw
Elizabeth and I thought... Elizabeth?

Any better problem?

No, what problem?

You'll hear about it soon enough.

What can I do for you?

It's really good to hear you finally say
that.

Oh, boy, Abby.

I need some advice.

When you're a professional, you're out
there in the real world. You know what

it's like.

What do you really think I ought to do
after I finish school?

I thought that was already decided.

You're an actress.

Oh, right. Oh, why does everybody keep
saying that when it may not be true?

I mean, I'm an actress in college, Abby,
and part -time in a little repertory

company. But, I mean, it's Sacramento.

I don't know.

Unless I go to grad school.

See, well, how did that strike you about
my going to grad school?

Well, you know how I feel about
education. If you want more, go and get

Yeah, I agree, but what if I, you know,
I'm only going to grad school just to

play it safe?

Because I'm too chicken to go find out
if I really have talent.

I think that you don't have to make a
decision like this at the end of a very

hard day.

Abby.

Abby, college is going to be out, you
know, in a week. And people are going to

be asking me what I'm doing.

I'm supposed to be something.

So be Joni Bradford, taking her time.

To make our own decision.

That's what you should be.

Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I'll just go to Yosemite
for the summer.

Yosemite?

Why, you don't like the idea?

No, Johnny, I didn't say that. Look,
it's just that I can't figure out what

is you're trying to ask me.

I'm asking you to help me decide what to
do with my life.

Tonight?

Oh, Joanie, you're so dramatic.

Oh, well, I thought that you don't even
care.

I do care.

Oh, you do?

Well, how come you had all the time in
the world for Elizabeth today, Abby, and

I had to chase you all over this house
just to beg a few little crumbs of your

time? I mean, I sincerely asked you for
help, and you laughed at me.

I apologize, Joanie, but maybe if you
could just take yourself a little less

seriously for a few days, I mean, it's
all going to work out, isn't it?

Oh, I knew it.

You have time to help everybody else in
this house, but not me.

How can you say that?

Well, I should have said it a long time
ago.

You avoid me, Abby. You have always
avoided me because I remind you of my

mother. Joanie. That's right.

Joanie. Joanie's my mother's name. And
every time you use it, you think about

real mother.

You don't like comparing yourself to
her, do you? I don't compare myself.

I don't consider myself a rival of your
mother's. Well, that's right.

You're not even in the same category.

She would have been here when I needed
her. She would have listened to me. She

would have helped. Now, just calm down,
Joanie. I'm beginning to see that this

is a very serious thing for you, but you
don't have to take it out on me. Well,

you take out your feelings about my
mother on me, don't you?

Well, it's not my fault I look like her.
It's not my fault I'm named after her.

Or my fault you can't handle it. Maybe
you just better leave.

Yeah, well, that's fine with me.

At least we know where we stand, don't
we?

We don't have to pretend we like each
other.

And most of all, graduation is a time
for parent and child to honor the

achievement of a common goal.

To bask in the spirit of cooperation and
mutual respect.

Now I'm finally telling it like it is.

What else did your father say?

Oh, well, he said that the speech was
finally shaping up and that he was going

to find a nice tree overlooking the
Sacramento River somewhere and work in

until the speech was finished.

I just wish he'd waken me up first.

You mean you didn't talk to him last
night?

No, I fell asleep before he came in. I
didn't even hear him.

Abby, is there anything I can do?

Not unless you want to look under every
tree along the Sacramento River for Tom

Bradford.

Not really.

And I guess there's nothing.

Johnny? What is it?

I know you talked to Abby last night.
Did she tell you what happened at school

yesterday?

Abby didn't say anything worth listening
to.

Then she didn't tell you.

Okay, I guess I'll have to. I mean,
after all, I'm ruining your graduation,

What do you have to do with my
graduation?

Well, in a couple of hours, Dad's going
to be very upset.

See, he's looking forward to a
celebration, and it's going to be more

funeral around here. What are you
talking about?

Well, I went along with a dumb senior
prank.

Yeah?

Me and my friends dropped a water
balloon on the stairs. A teacher slipped

it, and now she's in the hospital, and
they won't allow me to graduate tonight.

Oh, Elizabeth, no, you're kidding.

you sent a teacher to the hospital.

Yeah, Miss Ryder. Her ankle's broken.

Oh, Miss Ryder. I remember her old
stonewall.

Yeah.

Oh, gee.

She was one of the best teachers I ever
had there.

Are you kidding?

No. No, I mean, I didn't think so when I
was in high school, but boy, when I

went to college, I realized all those
demands you put on me were for my own

good. I was really grateful, really.

I'm sorry for...

I'm really sorry to hear about you.

I'm just sorry I made it so grim around
here when things should be so happy for

you, Joanie.

Oh, happy.

Oh,

who's happy?

Oh, Elizabeth, I'm so confused and upset
and can't even sleep.

You too?

Yeah.

It's so ironic, you know, this big
family and there's nobody to talk to

sometimes.

Susan and Mary don't really understand
and Dad's all wrapped up in his...

you know, for you.

And then I talked to Abby and... Well,
at least I

understand why she didn't have time for
me.

Yeah. Trying to pound some sense into my
head has been a full -time job.

Plus overtime.

Oh, boy.

Oh, boy.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, that's me.

Okay, done. Have a seat.

But I read this one already.

Read it again.

Hi, I'm Paul. I don't think we've met.

I'm Tommy. I've never been in before.

Uh -huh. I was going to say that.

Okay, Tommy, how do you want it?

Well, I hear you're a great hairstylist.
I do take pride in pleasing my

customers. Is there any way you can
style it to look like a G .I. and only

off about a half an inch? John Peters,
Vidal Sassoon, and Warren Beatty put

together couldn't do that, son.

So,

how do you want me to do it?

Well, I'm not supposed to have any hair
over two inches long.

You look too young to join the Army.

Lifeguard. Oh, well, why didn't you say
so?

What you need is a lifeguard pompadour.
No problem.

I guess that makes you next.

Um, no, I just came here to read.

See ya. Thanks.

Miss Ryder?

Yes?

I'm Elizabeth Bradford, Miss Ryder. May
I come in?

Elizabeth Bradford.

I recognize the name.

Come on over here and let's see if I
recognize the face.

Oh, yes.

Where are your fellow fun makers?

I came alone.

I wanted you to have these.

I see. Flowers.

Put them over there on the bureau.

The nurse will have to bring a vase.

How's your ankle?

What's this all about, Elizabeth?

Well, I... I just wanted you to know
that I'm very sorry.

Sorry is a very ambiguous word.

Define it for me.

Well, I'd like to help pay for the
doctor bills. I'm going to work this

All right, I'll keep that in mind.

We'll see what happens after the
hospital and the insurance company fight

out.

Now, is there anything else?

My sister Joni says you're one of the
best teachers she's ever had.

You may thank her for me.

Now, what else?

Nothing.

Nothing?

You mean you don't want me to speak to
Mr. Gillette about your timely act of

repentance and suggest that he allow you
to graduate?

That's not why I came.

Actually, at first I tried every way I
could to stay on that graduation stage

with my friends and listen to my father
give a speech.

But then I started thinking.

It just wouldn't feel right.

We hurt you.

We didn't mean for this to happen, but
it did.

And now somehow I've got to make it
right and let you know that I'm very

Perhaps you'd better tell your sister
something else from me.

Yes, ma 'am.

Tell her that Elizabeth Bradford is one
of the few students I ever had who

learned something in high school.

Thank you, Miss Ryder. I will.

Of course, this doesn't change anything
about your graduation.

Oh, yes, I know.

Just so we understand each other.

Now, why don't you bring those flowers
over here so I can really look at them?

Abby? Hi, Johnny.

Do you need some help?

It's okay. I can handle it.

Well, would you just listen to me?

What is it, Johnny?

I'm not... I understand why you had to
keep avoiding me.

We spoke about a lot of reasons last
night, didn't we? Well, I know. I mean,

really understand.

I was talking to Elizabeth.

Oh, you spoke to Elizabeth?

Yeah. I'm sorry for what I said last
night. I wish I could take back every

Well, some of it was true.

I do leave you alone.

Not because you remind me of your
mother, but because you seem to want it

way. I know.

I know. I seem to... Well, see, I had to
get pretty strong.

And then, uh... When you came...

I just kept trying to act very
independent.

And I mean, I am usually.

But sometimes I get very scared and
confused.

And I just want my mother, Abby.

Oh, no.

And she's not there.

And that really hurts.

I couldn't admit that to you, and I... I
don't know, I just took it out on you

because she's gone, and I can't ever
feel, you know, safe like I used to with

her. No, and you won't either. We all
have to lose that feeling, you know, all

of us.

I'm sorry, I just... I got furious at
you because you're not her, and... I

understand.

I'm sorry, Abby, please.

Forgive me. Please.

Forgive you.

Yeah, you just forget about last night,
okay?

And we'll start over, all right?

Tony, I can never be your mother, you
know?

I know.

But we could try this.

If you could forgive me, then I could
forgive you.

And then we could just go on together as
friends.

Yes. Thank you.

Ah,

yes. Well, I appreciate your calling.
That was very nice of you.

Thank you.

Good night.

Daddy, can I see you a minute? Oh,
Elizabeth, it's just what I needed. An

on cufflinks. Please, help.

Yeah. You know, I don't know how I can
possibly hold an audience when I can't

even dress myself.

I don't know if I can help you. My hands
are shaking. They are?

Oh, they are.

Don't worry about it. It's a big night.

Daddy, about tonight, I'm going to
embarrass you very badly.

Now, listen.

Every time I make a speech, it's an
embarrassment.

Don't worry about it. You don't
understand. You're going to be up there

about all your pride and your daughter,
the graduate, and I won't even be there.

You'll be there.

won't, Daddy.

I'm trying to tell you they won't let
me. I'll be home.

You'll be there.

Not physically, maybe, but in my
thoughts and in my pride for what you

Miss Ryder this afternoon.

Miss Ryder? That's right. She called.

I'm only sorry I was in hiding when you
needed me most.

But from what she tells me, you did just
fine on your own.

And no matter what happens tonight, they
can't take that away from either one of

us.

You mean you don't hate me?

Hate you.

You just wait till I get through with
this speech.

So let us take this time to praise our
young people for their honesty and

courage and to demonstrate our love and
approval as they leave Sacramento

Central High School to follow their
dreams, thereby bringing those of our

generation closer to fulfillment.

The first speech I've heard that sounded
better than reruns. Obviously.

That's twice the applause that I got
tonight in the auditorium filled with 3

,000 people.

Now, will Elizabeth Bradford please step
forward?

It is with special pride that I bestow
her official high school diploma on

Elizabeth Bradford.

Those of us gathered here are not only
aware of her achievements the past 12

years, but also the past 12 hours.

Learning is not always in books and
classes.

Learning is even more essential in our
daily realities of our human

relationships.

Elizabeth Bradford has shown that she
truly deserves the certificate of

accomplishment and maturity.

Hereby, proudly bestowed, Magna Cum
Bradford.

You're going to not what?

Hey! Oh, I'm sorry. I think I won't go
to my graduation.

Yeah, I know. It's too formal.

And the whole drama department might
have a celebration picnic instead.

Oh, great, after I spend $20 on film and
flashbulbs. Oh, no, Dad, it's okay. We

can have a nice little private ceremony
with only the immediate family in

attendance. Dad, does that mean you're
going to say your same old speech?

Good point, Nicholas.

Unless you give me the pleasure and the
honor of watching you march across that

stage with cap and gown, I am prepared
to threaten you with oratory.

Oh.

Okay. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll do
it, sir.

Good.

See? I can make a decision. Yes, and
that will make me happy. And I will also

give Tommy another good reason to get a
haircut.

Uh, sorry, Dad, but the haircut's been
called off.

No haircut?

Oh, Tommy, you didn't lose your
lifeguard job.

No, I got a better offer. My rock band
and I got an all -summer -long gig at

teen center.

Not only will I be making better money
than lifeguarding, but I have all day to

lie around the pool.

Hey, congratulations.

Does that mean that you will keep that
unfortunate hairdo?

Well, sort of.

Sort of? You mean they might make you
trim it down something like David's?

No, Dad. Actually, they want me to wear
this.