Original subtitles

Can I ask a question?

If you're wondering about asking Dad for a waterbed of your own, I'd say forget

it. No, thanks.

I like a bed you can trust.

It's a pretty important question.

Okay, shoot.

Well, did you ever wish you were an only child?

You know, actually, Nicholas, I was.

Really? Yeah, for about a year until Mary was born.

Lucky guy. What was it like?

I can't remember.

I mean, you had it really bad like that, and you can't even remember?

I was pretty young at the time.

I'm young, and if I was an only brat for just five minutes, I'd remember.

Look at it this way, Nicholas.

If you were an only child, then I wouldn't have you as my brother. That

make me very sad.

Well, look at it this way, David.

You had your chance and blew it.

There's a magic in the early morning we found.

When the sunrise smiles on everything around.

It's a portrait of the happiness that we feel and

always will.

Oh, it is enough to fill our lives with. Oh,

we spend our days like bright and shiny new

dimes.

If we're ever puzzled by the changing time.

There's a plate of homemade wishes on the kitchen.

It is enough to fill our...

Elizabeth, that is the first thing that a guy notices.

Yeah, but Debbie Altman's fine the way she is. Why mess with Mother Nature?

Well, it'll give her a whole new dimension to her personality.

Oh. Would you run that by me again? I am studying the possible psychological

differences between only children and offspring in a multi -sibling family

What? It's my research project for behavioral psych.

And you're going to study this multi -sibling family unit?

Yeah, if you don't mind. You mean you want us to be human guinea pigs.

Elizabeth, it's just a series of simple tests.

Abby, do you really think that you can be objective with this? I mean, this is

scientific test, isn't it? Well, I won't be alone.

Ed Gardner, who's the leading doctoral candidate in the department, is going to

help me. And he's an authority on only children. In fact, he has an only child

himself. Well, just what exactly do you want to find out about it? What makes

you guys different from children in smaller family units?

Oh, that's simple.

Looks.

Brains. No.

No.

Mother's dear.

I hope Ed Gardner doesn't throw up.

Bye, Nicholas.

Bye.

Hey. Hi, Nicky.

What's your friend's name? I don't think we know him.

Bobby. Come on, Bobby.

Bobby, I don't think I caught your last name.

I don't think you're going to.

Where'd you get all these?

They belong to my brothers and sisters.

How many have you got, anyway?

Seven. Boy, must be neat having such a big family.

Today it is. Yesterday it wasn't.

Here, put some of this on your mirror.

What's that supposed to be?

Oh, it's a raft from the Army Circus. My brother David gave it to me.

He gave it to you?

Yeah. He said it was getting too old for Uncle Barry Flynn.

Uncle Barry Flynn?

Yeah. He was some kid who floated down rivers and junk.

You ever use it? Not yet.

Hey, I bet you and me could go down the Sacramento River all the way to the

ocean. Yeah.

Maybe after baseball season.

Couldn't this be multiple choice? There is no right answer. I'm after your first

impression. Would you come on? Oh, okay.

Um, St. Louis, Missouri.

St. Louis, okay.

Uh, okay, Susan, what do you see?

Alfalfa sprout salad complete with bean curds and mashed yeast.

Susan, that's ridiculous.

How can St. Louis look like mashed yeast? Hey, I'm hungry, all right?

What's going on in here?

I'm administering the inkblot test that Ed Gardner devised for his doctoral

thesis. Mary, what does that look like to you?

A kidney transplant.

Hey, Abby, can Bobby eat lunch over?

Sure, Nicholas, as long as it's okay with his mom.

It's okay with her. Thanks, Abby.

Hey, Nick, wait a second. What do you think?

Hmm. A piece of paper with ink smashed on it.

Oh, oh, hi, Abby. I'm sorry.

Don't you want to hear about my psychology research?

Oh, yes, exactly. What are you trying to determine?

Well, I'm focusing on the factors that determine the psychological development

of children in a large family.

I know the answer to that.

Oh, what?

Bathroom privileges.

Ew.

Okay, guys, now remember, on a grounder, you've got to get in front of the ball,

keep your knees bent, keep your glove wide open, so if the ball takes a bad

you can... Protect it with your body. Okay?

Yeah.

Okay, so let me throw you some high pops, huh?

Now, we've got to work on our double play.

Okay.

First of all, the key to a double play is a pivot at second base.

Okay? Now watch.

Okay, you've got to run. You've got to pivot on your left, right, and you've

to zip it into first.

Okay? Wow, how come you know so much about baseball?

Hey, they used to call me Home Run Bradford.

Never heard of you.

Oh, yeah, that was back in the dark ages before they let girls into the little

league.

Susan, there's a phone call for you. A Myron Lounsbury?

Oh, Myron. Well, sorry, guys.

Catch you later. Keep practicing, huh?

Nicholas, you better get inside yourself.

Can't we play a little longer?

No, no, there's too much room cleaning to be done.

Come on, you can pick it up first thing in the morning.

Okay, see you tomorrow, Bobby. Yeah, see you, Nicholas.

Bobby, can I drive you home or something?

No, thanks, Mr. Bradford.

It's not far, and I like to walk.

See you, Bobby.

See you, Nicholas.

Bye now.

Where are you going? Oh, I'm just going downstairs to fix myself a little snack.

Oh, no, I can't let you do that. Go downstairs and stuff yourself in the

of the night?

So bring it back upstairs.

Hey, who invited the Cookie Monster back?

You know, Bobby, we're very happy to have you here as our guest, but don't

think your parents are going to be worried?

Why don't we call them?

Bobby, don't you want us to call your parents?

Well, maybe you could just tell us your last name.

Why don't you give us your address? I'd be happy to drive you home.

I know why he's not talking.

His mouth is always full.

Hey, what's going on?

Bobby, what are you doing here? Right now, Bobby is excusing you to have a

private talk in the study. Thank you, Bobby.

He didn't ask me my last name. Why should I ask him his?

And you have no idea where he lives?

He never talked about home. I just met him. And all I know is that he's a great

second baseman.

And an expert at taking the Fifth.

Fifth what?

The Fifth Amendment to the Constitution, Nicholas. It protects you from thinking

on yourself.

Oh, hi, Ann. Good morning.

Listen, something's coming, so I'm just going to be a few minutes. Is that okay?

I understand. Go ahead.

Can I take your coat? Sure.

Why don't you start setting up? I hope you don't mind conducting interviews in

the kitchen.

Not at all. That's usually where children feel most comfortable. Oh,

try it this way.

I shouldn't be too long.

Take your time. Okay.

Ty, which one are you?

Bobby.

Ed Gardner, Bobby. Nice to know you.

Well, these are a few of the tests we're going to be using in the survey.

Looks like school stuff.

Well, actually, it is school stuff.

But we're hoping it'll be fun, too.

How can tests be fun?

Well... Here, let me try to give you an example.

You like to draw, don't you?

It's okay.

Well... Draw me a picture.

Boy, it can be anything, Bobby. You don't have to make it fancy.

I hate to have to say this, Nicholas, but I think that we should call the

police. The police?

Yes, Nicholas. Bobby's parents are probably very worried about him. That's

we should file a missing persons report.

But Bobby's not a missing person.

We all know where he is.

Yes, but his parents don't, and this way the police can find them and maybe get

them all back together.

But if the police have to find his parents, how come they're not the

person?

Very good, Bobby.

Now, if you could give this a name, what would you call it?

I don't know.

Come on.

Call it anything you want.

Okay.

How about The Boy Who Could Take Care of Himself?

That's very good.

Um, can I keep this?

Sure. Can I go now?

Sure. Bye.

I'm sorry I'm late. I'm delayed.

Well, it's okay. I already got a start in one of your brood.

Really? Well, they said you were efficient. Any conclusions?

Well, it's too early to tell you, but I detect a high quotient of self

-reliance. And quite frankly, a puzzling distrust of grown -ups.

That's the Braffords.

Yeah, well, we were thinking of catching an afternoon matinee.

Oh, she says it's not as good as the original.

Nothing is.

Debbie Altman just takes pride in her appearance. Oh, if she had pride, she

wouldn't go through with it. Oh, come on. You know you'd do the same thing if

Dad could afford it. I would not.

Oh, I'm sorry. What did you say, Gail? What?

Oh, Tommy, Elizabeth, the doctor will see you now. Just come in and pull up a

couch.

Yeah, okay.

That's a good idea. Listen, do you want to go to the evening?

Ed Gardner and I can meet Tommy and Elizabeth Bradford.

Nice to meet you, Tommy.

Elizabeth. Hi. Please, be seated.

I can see the similarity between you and your youngest sibling.

Really? I never could.

Our work today should be very interesting.

Okay, Tommy. Ready?

Now, what does this remind you of?

A 1968 convertible that burns oil.

My dad said the police won't do anything but take you home.

Yeah, I know.

I didn't think you were a missing person.

It's okay, Nicholas.

It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault.

We can still be friends, can't we?

Sure.

You guys are doing great. Now we're going to do another test. It's word

association.

Now, I'll say a word, and we'd like you to respond with the first thought that

pops into your head.

Be careful.

Take care of yourself.

Now, it's important that you go with your instincts. Don't stop and think

the answer.

Just blurt it out.

That's right.

Okay, ready? Here we go.

Smile. Steve Robinson.

Debbie Altman.

Interesting.

All right.

Telephone. Steve Robinson.

Debbie Altman.

How about water?

Steve Robinson. Debbie Alton.

Debbie Alton.

I'd love to see her bathing suit.

Steve Robinson?

Yeah, he's on the swim team.

I think that we should try another test.

And a good day to you, too, Joni.

Susan.

I'm sorry, I should have known.

May I come in?

Sure. Thank you.

Why do I always get these calls?

Hey, Dad, it's been a long arm of the law.

Oh, Officer Bernstein. Good to see you. We have an awkward situation here.

Uh, yeah, so what else is new?

Listen, this report came in on a missing child right after you called.

It's on a male Caucasian, age 9, 49 inches high, sandy brown hair,

brown eyes, no identifiable birthmarks.

Does that sound familiar to you? Yep, right out of Dragnet.

Yes, that's him.

Well, his name is Taylor, Bobby Taylor.

Have you notified his parents? They must be worried sick.

Well, actually, the report says that Bobby has no parents.

He's a foster child.

Well, Dad, no wonder he didn't want to go back. The people that he lives with

happen to be very concerned about him.

He's upstairs in Nicholas's room.

I'll go get him.

Thanks.

You know, it doesn't seem fair.

Murders are being committed, and all the police have to do is take little boys

where they don't want to go.

Look, Susan, they keep a very close watch on foster families in this state.

Those people have to take very good care of Bobby.

Yeah? Well, then why doesn't he want to leave here?

There's no accounting for taste.

Bobby, this is Officer Bernstein.

Hiya, Bobby.

Ready to go?

Hey, don't forget, Bobby, a home run Bradford still owes you a hitting

Yeah, and we gotta practice our double plays.

Come on, son. Let's go.

Hey, Nicholas.

What are you doing inside on such a beautiful day?

Nothing to do.

I guess you're pretty worried about Bobby, huh?

Abby, how come Bobby doesn't want to live with the Fosters?

With who?

The Foster family. You know, where Dad said they were taking him back to.

Oh, I see. Well, um...

See, I guess we didn't explain this very good. It's not that Bobby lives with a

family named Foster. He lives with a foster family.

Isn't that what I just said?

Not exactly. See, Foster can be a name, but it can also be a word, too. And it

means to raise or to care for.

You see, Bobby's foster family is a family that's agreed to raise and care

Bobby in place of his real family.

Why doesn't his real parents do it?

I don't know.

It could be a lot of reasons.

Maybe he doesn't have any.

No parents?

I guess I'm pretty lucky, huh?

Guess we both are.

Pretty lucky.

Abby said that she'd be right down, Mr. Gardner.

Don't get up. Please, Mr. Bradford, just call me Ed. Oh, all right. Thanks. I'm

Tom.

How are the tests going?

Slow. Slow?

My children?

Oh, please, Tom, it has no reflection on them. It's just that with all the data

we're discovering, I'm being thrown off balance.

Oh, my children have kept me off balance for 24 years, ever since the stalk

delivered David in the hospital parking lot.

Must have been scary.

No, only when the cars we were blocking kept honking.

If that had happened to me, I think I'd never have the courage to continue with

sibling number two, let alone three through eight.

Courage has nothing to do with it.

It's all luck.

I'd say you've been plagued with burdens that would destroy most men.

Somehow, even when you're off balance, you don't think of your children as

burdens.

They're blessings, Ed.

Blessings.

Here,

Tom.

Have a look.

What is this?

Tell me what you think it is.

I asked you first.

Well, it's quite obvious. It's a...

It's part of the test that I'm giving your children. Really? That's what I

thought it was.

And it would be very helpful to the study if you would tell me what you see

this picture.

That would help them?

Possibly it could indicate meaningful psychological correlations between

and offspring.

That? This.

Now, just relax, Tom.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Tell me what you see in this.

Witchcraft.

Okay, I'll chat with her.

Hey,

Mickey, we've got to use the phone. How long are you going to be?

How should I know? I'm being held.

Debbie just went in for some self -improvement, that's all. Oh, come off

Tommy. In my opinion, she hasn't improved herself one bit.

Oh!

You're just jealous, that's all.

Officer Bernstein?

You're not Officer Bernstein.

I want Officer Bernstein.

What? Yeah?

Does he work there?

Okay, I'll go on hold again.

But this time, don't forget me.

What's up, dear?

Well, I'm trying to find Bobby.

Any luck?

Are you kidding? I can't even find Officer Bernstein.

Officer Bernstein?

Yeah, I figured if Officer Bernstein took Bobby home, he'd know where he

Hey, good thinking.

Except every time I try to get Officer Bernstein, I get put on hold.

Oh, looks like you're up against the old bureaucratic stone wall.

But I think I know a way over it. You do?

Mm -hmm.

Come on, we'll need some privacy.

Uh, yes, Juvenile Division, please.

Uh, yes, this is Ms. Nicholas of the Truant Officers Division.

Uh, yes, well, we understand that you had a foster child named Bobby Taylor

processed through your office yesterday as a runaway.

Well, we'd like an address check for our computer, please.

They're looking it up.

Uh, yes, uh, 357 West Prospect Street.

And the family's name is Spinney.

Uh, Spinney.

No, no, that will be all. Yes. Thank you very much. Thank you.

Don't watch for Stonewall.

All right.

All right.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this room.

Just check that out.

Hi.

Oh, you're just the sibling we were looking for. Can you sit down? Do you

time to be tested?

No, sorry, I can't. Nicholas is waiting in the car. Hey, guess what? What? We

found out where Bobby lives.

Good. Yeah, I'm taking Nicholas over to his house. Can I borrow the car keys,

please?

Sure, yeah.

Right on the top.

Thanks, Mike. Bye. Catch you later.

What do you mean, going over to Bobby's? You mean one of my favorite Bradfords

isn't a Bradford?

Oh, you mean you thought he was?

Well, of course.

No, no, no, no. See, Bobby's a foster child, but he doesn't seem very happy at

home. He sure seemed happy here. I've got him computed into all my statistics.

Does it count if he wants to be a Bradford?

Is that your pardon?

It was a joke.

Oh.

Oh.

I

guess

that's it.

It's nicer than I thought.

Yeah, it's okay.

I guess things have really improved since those old Shirley Temple movies.

Excuse me, are you Mrs. Spinney?

Oh, yes. What can I do for you?

Well, hi, I'm Susan Bradford, and this is my brother Nicholas.

Oh, you're Bobby's friends.

Oh, he never stops talking about your family.

Could we talk to Bobby?

Oh, I'm sorry.

Bobby's gone shopping with my husband, and I'm not sure when he'll be back.

Oh, I guess you were pretty worried the other night when Bobby stayed at our

house. We were very worried, but we had been expecting something like this to

happen. You've been expecting it?

Well, yes.

Since his parents died, Bobby's been in five different foster homes, and, well,

he's run away from all of them.

They must have been pretty bad places.

Not if they're like this.

Oh, thank you. But in Bobby's case, it's not a question of good or bad. He's

looking for a real family, one he can be part of for the rest of his life.

Well, what about adoption?

Well, most couples want babies, not nine -year -olds.

Why don't you adopt Bobby?

We'd like to, Nicholas.

Bobby's a nice boy, but my husband and I are going to retire next year, and I

don't think it would be fair to Bobby. He needs a younger family.

Come on, Susan. We gotta go.

Goodbye, Mrs. Spinney. It was really nice talking to you. Goodbye. I'll tell

Bobby you came by.

Thanks a lot. Bye -bye.

What's the big hurry?

There's a family we gotta talk to before it gets too old.

You wanna what?

Adopt Bobby.

Come on, Dad. What's one more?

Do you want me to break it down for you in dollars and cents?

I think it looks like a deathly man walking aimlessly through a jungle of

materialistic chaos.

You're crazy.

It's obviously a close -up of an insect walking through deep pile carpeting. No,

no, no. It's out of the question.

What's out of the question?

Dad, we wouldn't have to adopt Bobby. We could just take over as a sponsor

family. Who's Bobby?

You want to adopt Bobby?

Abby, he needs a permanent home. Yeah, so he doesn't have to run away anymore.

Well, where would he sleep?

We could convert the screen porch, easy.

Who's Bobby?

I heard there's only one way to prohibit more naked kids to a bathroom.

Come on, this is not funny.

No, of course it isn't, Nicholas, and that's why we can't rush into it.

Is Bobby's foster home that bad?

No, but he needs a younger family.

Who's Bobby?

I know you two mean well.

We all care about Bobby, but there could be a lot of problems.

It's just not practical. Can't you see that?

Yeah, and so grown -ups say when they mean none.

Well, now that I don't know who Bobby is, would someone not tell me what's

on?

Mr. Gardner.

May I talk to you for a minute? Of course.

Nancy. Nancy, right. What can I do for you?

I'd like you to take a look at these.

I hate to disappoint you, Nancy, but the truth is I'm the one conducting the

survey. Oh, I don't want your opinion as a psychologist. I want your opinion as

a customer.

A what?

How much do you think I could sell these for, huh?

Those? Yes. I know it's pretty obvious in the test you've been giving me that

I'm frustrated as a mere worker.

Not really. I am.

And I've been looking for a respectable business.

One that I could get into with a very little investment.

What could be better than blots?

As a business?

Yeah, why not?

I figure whatever you're paying for for your blots, I will charge double. Well,

I really didn't buy my blots. I made them.

Oh.

Oh. Well, Mr. Gardner, maybe you are a likely prospect.

Mr. Gardner, take a look at my lovely...

May I come in?

It's your house.

No, no. It's our house.

Well, then how come Bobby can't live in our house?

Well... That's what I want to talk to you about.

You mean to change your mind?

No, but I think I do owe you an explanation.

You know, adoption is not such a simple thing.

It's not just a matter of having Bobby live here in the house with us. He would

become a part of this family.

An equal part.

Besides, the financial responsibilities there are emotional ones, too.

And right now, this family has their hands full, Nicholas.

He wouldn't be any trouble.

He wouldn't even know he was around.

Yeah, but do you think Bobby's looking for a family that doesn't even know he's

around? I know he was around.

Bobby needs more than a friend his own age.

He needs parents that can give him a lot of attention.

Well, you can take some of my attention and give it to him.

That's very generous of you, Nicholas.

But it wouldn't be fair to you.

Or to him.

I mean, suppose we did adopt Bobby.

And then all of a sudden, another family comes along that would be even better

for him. The foster lady said no one wants a nine -year -old boy.

Sure they do.

It just takes time, that's all.

Nicholas, you gotta stop worrying about Bobby.

He's under the care of the proper authorities.

He's exactly where he should be.

Okay, it's my turn. Um, Ed Gardner.

Pipe smoke.

Oh, Mary, that's so obvious.

Look, do I give bad reviews to your associations?

Come on, Jody, what would you say to Ed Gardner?

Well, anything but pipe smoke. Come on, Elizabeth, give me another one.

Officer Bernstein.

Notebook.

Cuddly.

Touché. Only one answer to a question, please.

Okay, it's my turn.

I'll think of some, but... Bobby Taylor.

Bobby Taylor?

Sad.

Yeah, exactly.

Bobby?

Bobby!

Did you sleep okay?

A little cold.

I'll bring you some more blankets tonight.

Thanks, Nicholas.

But I can't stay here.

No bathroom?

Don't worry.

I'll show you a shortcut to the service station.

That's not it, Nicholas.

The police will be coming for me.

Are you sure?

They always do.

Where will you go?

I'm thinking about that.

Down the river?

Yeah.

All by yourself?

Unless I could find some friend.

I'll go.

You? Why not?

Uncle Barry Flynn had a friend.

I don't know about that, Nicholas.

Come on, Bobby.

I want to go with you.

Well, okay. After all, it is your raft.

that settled.

Let's think about breakfast.

Good thinking.

Nicholas, where are you up early?

Yeah, it makes the day last longer.

Got some blueberry pancakes?

Um, no thanks, Abby. I'm kind of in a hurry. You're turning down blueberry

pancakes?

No, I'm turning down waiting for blueberry pancakes.

Should we blow up the raft here or after we get to the river?

Here. It never hurts to be ready.

Where are we rafting to, anyway?

Wherever the river takes us to, I guess.

How long does it take to get to the river?

Not long, once we find out where it is. You mean you don't know?

How should I? I've never been there.

But don't worry, we'll both know when you get us a map.

Come on, Abby, just a sneak preview, please.

Nope. Nobody gets the results of the test until Ed and I turn them in. We'll

just have to settle for pancakes.

Pancakes? Did I hear somebody mention pancakes?

Blueberry pancakes!

What's the occasion?

Professor Bradford's sibling studies are drawing to a close.

And her pent -up maternal instincts are erupting in pancakes.

Oh, you mean no more blocks?

Nope. Ed is packing up his couch and going home. No, we'll tell him to pack

pipe. This place is becoming a permanent smuggler. Abby, when do we get the

final test results?

It depends on how much peace and quiet we get around here.

Peace and quiet? In other words, we'll never get the test results.

I am not jealous of Debbie Altman. That's the most ridiculous thing I have

heard. Uh -huh. I bet you can't wait to do the same thing yourself.

I wouldn't do that. I'm perfect the way I am.

Look at you guys. This has been driving Joni and I crazy for days. I mean, what

is it with you two and Debbie Altman? Go ahead. Tell them, chauvinist. I bet

they'll agree with me.

Huh.

Okay. If a girl doesn't like her looks, you know...

And she feels she needs something extra.

But she doesn't. But it's her body, isn't it?

I mean, if she has the money and she wants to look really foxy, why

shouldn't she get her teeth capped?

Teeth capped?

No reason at all.

No.

Must be Edgar and I'll get it. Oh?

Actually, this morning I feel more like the worm.

So when the Spinnies called to report that Bobby was missing again, this was

first place that I thought of again.

I wish I could help you.

We haven't seen Bobby since, uh, well, since you picked him up. I don't even

think Nicholas has seen him, really.

What are you doing here? Oh, Nicholas, maybe you can help. Officer Bernstein is

looking for Bobby. Have you seen him lately?

No.

Well, cheer up, Nicholas. We'll find him for you.

Well, sorry to have bothered you again, Mr. Bradford. Oh, no problem. If there's

anything we can do for you, please just let us know.

Well, you could move to New Jersey.

But until then, thanks a lot.

Do you know anybody in Jersey?

Move to New Jersey?

Okay, we gotta hurry up and get out of here before the cops come.

Now, did you find the river?

No, but I think I found the ocean.

Hey, how are we gonna get this thing out the door?

I don't know.

Come on, Nicholas, open up.

I know you're in there.

I did it!

I'll deal with you later. But, Dad.

March.

It's my fault.

Nicholas was just trying to help me.

We'd all like to help you, Bobby.

Sure you would.

You gonna call the cops now?

I'm afraid I have to.

They can't make me stay where I don't want to.

No, they can't.

You can run away again and again and again.

But if you stop to think about it, you'll realize that running away isn't

solve anything.

Well, I guess I better get it over with.

Oh, yes, this is Tom Bradford.

Officer Bernstein was over my house this morning looking for a missing child.

Would you tell him that Bobby Taylor has come back here?

Yes, he'll be waiting here for him.

Thank you.

Sorry we had to do it this way, Bobby, but...

I hope we can still be friends.

Bobby?

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Let me get this straight.

When I thought that Bobby was here, and you said that he wasn't, he really was.

And then, when I didn't think that he was here, and you called and said that

was...

Now he really isn't?

You know, Mr. Bradford, sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve you.

Nicholas, do you know where Bobby is?

He wouldn't have floated down to Sacramento without me. Yeah, and we

playhouse. Yeah, it was nothing but wall -to -wall raft.

Did you guys notice the cop car outside?

Oh, no, not again.

Yeah, my sentiments exactly.

And I think my sergeant's gonna feel the same way.

At least when he ran away to us, we knew he was safe.

Well, do you think the police are going to do anything?

Well, why wait for the police?

I mean, they'll probably just put two guys on the job. We've got eight.

Make that nine.

Yeah. What are we waiting for? Let's go. I'll take Elm Street.

I'll be right with you.

Is this seat taken?

It's pretty nice mitt you got there.

It does the job.

Mind if I take a look?

Don't stretch out the fingers.

Oh, okay.

Awful lot of oil in this pocket.

got to work it in.

How'd you find me, anyway?

Oh, I had a little inside information.

I still had that picture you drew.

Oh.

You know, when I was your age, you used to work out my problems on the nearest

way I could find.

Just like you.

What kind of problems did you have?

Not being good enough to get on a baseball team.

One.

That's not my problem.

Mine's a lot worse.

Oh, I know.

But there are people who are trying to help.

Who? Social workers?

They just keep sticking me in foster homes.

Doing the best they can. They have a pretty tough job.

Yeah, I know.

That's why I've got to take care of myself.

Yeah.

I bet you do a pretty good job of it, too.

Yeah, but who else is there?

Well, I was hoping that I could help you and you could help me.

I know you were concerned for Bobby, but it was wrong to lie.

But is it right to squeal?

Trusting people who you love is not squealing.

We're just as concerned about what happens to Bobby as you are.

Dad, what is going to happen to Bobby?

I don't know, Nicholas.

But one good thing has happened to him already.

What?

You.

Dad?

Dad, Ed Gardner found Bobby.

Well, that's very impressive detective work. Well, don't forget, child behavior

is my specialty.

Well, it's mine, too. How come it never seems to help around here? That's what

makes this house so exciting. It's totally unpredictable, uninhibited,

Unprintable? Exactly.

Can't tell you how dull my house is compared to yours.

Oh, what I'd give for an hour of quiet and dull.

I'm getting to feel just the opposite. It looks like it's more fun living with

multi -siblings than just studying them.

What would your wife and daughter say to that?

I'll let you know after I clear it with Mrs. Spinney for Bobby to spend the

night. Oh, and then what?

Well, he's still my favorite Bradford.

We'll see what happens.

of being bad at baseball.

You'll teach me?

Well, we could see about that.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, that's so wonderful.

Okay.

Okay, we'll talk to you soon.

Be in touch. Bye -bye.

That was Ed Gardner. Oh, how's Bobby? He's great.

He's just getting ready to file the adoption papers. Oh, good. That means

won't have to run away anymore.

Yeah, too bad.

What? Nicholas, you sound like you want Bobby to run away.

It was fun when he spent the night.

He can still spend the night, only now his parents will know where he is. Oh,

Abby, did Ed say anything about the research project?

As a matter of fact, you did.

Well, tell us, who's the strangest sibling of them all?

Ed and I are going to have to scrap your test results.

Oh, how come?

Well, we're not sure, see. It could have been improper factor analysis, or maybe

we just lost track of the differential variables.

We don't know.

Can you say that again in English, please?

Uh, yeah.

The computer discovered that the Bradfords are in no way your typical

-sibling family.

What else is new?

We are so far from normal, we couldn't even fit the results in the graph.

Well, when you're weird, you're weird. The computer did come up with one

suggestion. And what is that?

To retest.

Retest? Speaking of that very thing, I have to study for one. Okay, bye.

You know how the old schoolwork piles up?

I think my plants need water.

I'll get the water, Joanie. I have a phone call to make.

is working on double plays?

Don't look at me. The last time I was his sibling, they called him brothers

sisters.