Original subtitles

you promised to help me win the spelling prize?

When did I do that, Nicholas?

Well, if you don't remember, we could just say it was yesterday.

If I don't remember, then maybe it was somebody else who promised you, or maybe

it never happened.

It happened with Nancy.

Then ask her.

She wasn't as easy to interrupt.

Now, come on. Any word on the list.

All right, all right. I guess that's the quickest way to get ready.

But just tell you missed the first word, all right?

You ready?

Mm -hmm.

Formulate. Formulate.

F -O -R -M -U -L -A -T -E.

Not bad.

Bad B -A -D.

All right, wise guy.

Spelling. Spelling. That's not on the list.

Yes, it is. Right here at the top of the page.

Spelling list.

You give up?

Nope.

F -P -E -L -I -M -G.

Spelling has two L's, Nicholas.

Goodbye.

Mary, how many are the Teeter?

There's a magic in the early morning.

When the sunrise smiles on everything around.

It's a portrait of the happiness that we feel and

always will.

Oh, it is enough to fill our lives with love.

Oh, we spend our days like bright... and shiny new dine

if we're ever bothered by the

changing time there's a plate of

homemade wishes on the kitchen window and it

is enough to fill our lives

Check.

Pen.

Films. Films.

Tom, I think we're ready.

I'm never really ready. Let's start out with a nice small one. Okay, how about

the dentist?

Dentist? I said a small one. Do you realize that there are 320 teeth in this

family?

Car insurance?

Oh, no. Ever since Tommy's been driving, that one gives me hives.

How about the telephone bill?

How about this family taking a vow of silence?

Tom, we have to start someplace.

Oh!

Headache? Headache.

Aspirin? Aspirin.

At least that's tax deductible.

They're the same girl. She's only a sophomore.

did this modern interpretation of a bluegrass tune that brought down the

Oh, let's see it. Okay, it went... Hey, good memory.

I wish you guys could have seen the whole recital.

It's cheaper this way. Gee, I'm sorry I missed it, Elizabeth.

I haven't seen you this excited about anything since we had our own phone.

Well, who would have thought a troupe of college dancers could be so fantastic?

What college were they from?

Wellington. Wellington, no wonder.

they have the best dance school in the whole country.

You know, their graduates go straight into professional ballet and Broadway

musicals. How come I never heard of Wellington?

It's in Vermont.

Oh, that explains it, Nancy. You've never heard of Vermont.

I have, too, heard of it. It's full of rocks, and it's usually buried under

of snow.

Ooh.

Sounds like heaven.

Hey, we're in luck. There's no line.

Yeah, that's because there are no tickets.

Great. Four people and three tickets? Fun date.

Hey, no problem.

We'll switch to contingency plan B.

Which is?

The old side door sneak in. Now I'll go in with the ladies and you wait in the

alley till I can let you in. No way.

I'm tired of hearing my car sit through a closed door.

I'll take the ladies inside.

I might be persuaded to part with a ticket.

Oh, yeah? How much?

Twelve dollars.

Twelve dollars? It only costs six.

Supply and demand, gentlemen. I know you understand.

I got three.

I've only got five. We're four short.

We'll pay you back.

Enjoy the show.

Enjoy the profit.

There ought to be a law against scalpers.

Yeah, but there isn't.

See you inside.

Morning.

Now this is ridiculous.

Sacramento State only has two dance courses.

Ballet for Weight Control and Disco Dance Aerobics.

Disco Dance Aerobics. Well, you know why that is? Because the Fine Arts

Department was duped to politics, so they lose dance to phys ed. Wellington

offers complete Bachelor of Arts degrees in the dance. Are you sure?

Well, I'll show you when I get the catalog, but that's what I was told by

guidance counselor.

Guidance? One of my children is seeking guidance? Well, let's declare a holiday.

Hire a band. This moment will go down in history.

Look, everybody.

It came.

What came?

The tools of my new profession.

Oh, you're becoming a professional scissors sharpener?

No, professional hairstylist.

Congratulations, Nancy. What beauty college are you attending?

Oh, I don't have time for beauty college. Besides, this way doesn't

creative individual talents. This way?

Yeah, this way. I sent away for this coupon on the back of American

and I got in exchange this beautiful professional hairstyling kit. What'd the

coupon say, Nance? If you can clip out this ad, you can cut hair?

Style hair, Mayor. There's a world of difference.

Besides, that's what this instruction manual is all about in the first

Lots of luck.

Yeah. I'm going to need luck.

But what I really need is actual advertisements of my work.

And the instruction manual for deaf -muting members of one's own family.

Uh, you want to style our hair? Yeah, free of charge, free of charge. Too high

price. Yes.

But I'll eventually be charging up to $50 per styling for women.

And, uh, $40 per styling for men, Daddy. Yeah, but this walking advertisement

has got to run.

fit you in.

Chapter 2.

You and your scissors.

And this is the Wellington Library with the clock tower. Did you ever see a more

beautiful campus?

Nope. Not even deducting 50 % from normal catalog exaggeration.

But they have a student -teacher ratio of 12 to 1.

Oh, and take a look at the dance program.

An integrated course of study designed to develop competency in performance and

choreography as well as critical appreciation.

Pretty spiffy.

What's this place cost?

It couldn't be any more than your med school.

It has to be, Elizabeth. It's clear across the country.

Well, you don't have to bark at me.

Who's barking? You are. If I don't complain about the cost of your

then you don't complain about mine.

Come on, scalping's an old -fashioned word.

We prefer to think of it as shrewd investing.

Yeah, now, Entertainment Investments Incorporated anticipates doubling its

capital assets.

You see, we take advantage of the fluctuations in the market value of Ted

tickets on the day of the concert.

Fine, I'll put you down for five shares at a dollar each.

Par value.

All right, thanks.

Yeah, this is Tommy.

Bradford. From history.

Hold on a second.

Honestly, Susan, I'm available to style your hair any time you say. Honestly,

Nancy, no thanks.

I'm letting my hair grow down to the floor and out the window. It's the

thing, the Rapunzel look.

Hey,

Harry. Yeah, here I am.

Hey, how would you like to get in on the ground floor of a potential

conglomerate? Yeah, Entertainment Investments Incorporated.

We just happen to have one last vacancy on the board of directors.

Yeah, you'll be vice president.

Hi, Nicholas.

What have you got there?

Oh, Elizabeth's college catalog.

Oh, really?

Dad, are you going to buy Elizabeth a college?

Buy her a college? No, no, it's not that kind of a catalog. You don't buy

colleges. You sort of purchase units of knowledge.

How much is spelling?

No, no, but you see, you have to purchase the courses in one lump sum,

they call it a tuition.

Here, let me show you.

Let's see now.

Here it is.

The tuition and fees for this college are $7 ,500.

a catalog, just like I figured.

Oh.

Like you figured?

Sure, I knew that once you read it, Dad, you'd want me to go to Wellington.

Oh, yes, it is very impressive, but... I never dreamed any university could be

so perfect.

It's like they knew exactly what I wanted and built a school just for me.

Did you look at the Sacramento State catalog?

Oh, yeah, for as long as I could stand it.

Well, how about the other California schools, like Berkeley?

Davis. Well, once I learned about Wellington, I stopped looking.

Maybe you better look again. I mean, California has some fine public

and you've never lived 3 ,000 miles away from your family in the snow.

Right, but it's about time I stopped being a provincial sun freak.

Dad, do you realize how beautiful New England is? You're gonna love it when

come visit me.

I, uh, I don't think that we'll be visiting you in New England.

Then I'll send you lots of postcards.

I'm afraid you won't be seeing it either.

Are you saying you don't approve of Wellington?

Oh, no, no. I approve of it, all right. It's just that... I'm afraid I can't let

you go there.

Daddy, how can you say such a thing?

I'd give anything in the world not to have to say it. It's just that... It has

nothing to do with Wellington.

It has nothing to do with you.

It's all my fault.

Your fault.

I don't have the money to send you there.

You don't have the money for me.

Well, then how come you have it for everybody else?

Couldn't we get financial aid from the government?

Well... We may be too poor to send Elizabeth to Wellington, but we're too

to accept subsidies.

That's why they call it middle class. You get squeezed from all directions.

Couldn't Elizabeth get a student loan?

What? Do you know what kind of a debt would be hanging on her? About $40 ,000?

That's a little double -digit exaggeration, isn't it? No, it isn't. I

not just tuition. It's room and board and books and the student health plan.

to mention the flight out, the flight back, and all those...

Cross -country phone calls.

Elizabeth could write letters.

Today,

you trade money this size for stamps this size.

No, no, she'll just have to go to a California state college like her

She's going to hate that.

Yeah, well, that's too bad. There's nothing else we can do.

I should have started a savings account for Elizabeth when she was first born.

Trouble is, when she was first born, I had nothing to start it with.

She had that old Bradford family habit.

Needing groceries.

Did you read this last page?

No. I was struck deaf, blind, and dumb from the prices on the other page.

Well, read it.

Right here. Where?

The Sarah Wellington Dance Scholarship.

It's four years full tuition. And if you could get the Sarah Wellington

Scholarship... Well, then that means that Wellington would cost the same

as we're paying for Mary, Joanie, and Susan. We could actually swing it,

Elizabeth. Do you think I could qualify?

You've got the grade. All you have to do is get 700s on your college boards, and

that's a piece of cake.

Mm -mm.

Not when I took them. It was a piece of torture.

Nancy, if you really want to help out in this conversation, go back to sleep.

We'll get the 700s. I'll help you every way I can.

Oh, you don't have the time. I'll make the time.

This scholarship is the only way that we can make Wellington work for you. And

that's what we want, Elizabeth.

We really do.

I know that now, Daddy.

I'm sorry I yelled.

Forget it. I seem to recall I hold a few house records for yelling around here

myself.

Now that you're friends again, Daddy, you'd be a lot more helpful if you'd

kiss her goodnight.

All right. It's done. It's done.

Good night, Daddy.

Good night.

Good night.

Okay, Coach, where do we start?

How are you on verbal analogies?

A little shaky, but I'll be better when you tell me what they are.

They're word sets that relate to each other in the same way.

For example, what's the relationship between acorn and oak?

Acorns grow into oaks. Do wheel and car have the same relationship as acorn and

oak? You can't plant a wheel and grow a car. That's good thinking, so it's not a

verbal analogy.

But it sure would solve the transportation problem. Please, no

college boards take their questions in your future deadly serious.

And the next analogy.

Nibble is to bite as itch is to scratch.

Think about it.

Nibble is to bite as itch is to hurt.

I'm hurting, I'm hurting.

Wrong.

Okay, then it's 25.

Still wrong.

26. You're putting me on.

Elizabeth, look.

The differences increase each time, all right? So the next number is 19 plus 7,

26. You say so.

It doesn't matter what I say. Look, I've already passed this test. You've got to

know. Okay, okay. But, you know, math is to Elizabeth like clear as the mud.

I mean, this is a dance scholarship, right?

Sure, it's a dance scholarship, but I've been so busy with verbal analogies and

mathematical sequences that I've forgotten which foot is left and which

right. Oh, no, Elizabeth, come on. You're going to blow it. I mean, you'll

qualify for that scholarship unless you have a knockout dance audition.

Okay, so I'll start rehearsing. Yeah?

Rehearsing what?

I could do that one I did for the junior class frolics. No, you won't. It's

amateur night.

Thanks a lot.

You'll thank me more than a lot.

I'm taking you to Gwen Elkhart.

Gwen Elkhart?

Yeah.

But she's got the best professional dance company in Sacramento.

Yeah, I know.

How do you know her?

She taught a body movement workshop one time in the university theater.

She probably won't remember me, but I'll introduce you to her anyway.

I mean, if you don't dazzle Wellington with your brains, maybe you'll dazzle

with your feet.

Think so?

Track one.

Two over three. Four, release right.

Six, lift. Seven and eight. Contract.

One, two over three. Four, release left. Six, and lift the arms. And side, and

center, and side, and center. Side and center, and side, and hold.

And relax.

Hello, Joni Bradford, entering like a timid chipmunk.

Everybody get ready for floor process.

Hi, Gwen. I didn't mean to disturb you. How nice to see you, dear.

Thank you. Let me guess. You want me once again to teach Grayson boys to 36

drama students with, what, 72 left feet?

No, not this time, Gwen.

But you can sell some insurance to my sister, Elizabeth.

Maybe we'd better move to my space.

Okay.

Scholarship insurance.

Now I understand.

To what school, Elizabeth?

Wellington. Oh, say no more.

I wanted to go there myself.

We'll have our first class tomorrow.

You mean you'll take me as a student?

Oh, you make it sound so institutional.

We're all students here.

We will explore the world of dance together.

Sounds perfect to me.

Let's see.

Wellington, here she comes.

What? Who?

Entertainment Investments Incorporated.

Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong number.

Yeah, well, your hot tip is very wrong. This is a private home, not a place of

business.

No, I don't know their number.

I don't play the stock market. The only investments I make are in dentists and

education.

Boy.

Dad.

I can barely see your ears. I left them at the office. Dad, you've got cute

little ears. I think you should show them off more.

Like if I give you this young, executive pompadour look?

Uh, no, I tell you, I think that you should work with somebody with a full

of hair. I don't have enough hair for you to even learn on. But, Dad, Dad,

you're perfect. I mean, I know you don't have a lot, but what you have is very

challenging.

Oh, hi, Dad.

You're just the person I need to talk to if you're not busy. Oh, no, no, not at

all. Listen, thank you. I don't mind sniffing while you chat.

Listen, the last Bradford ever to be scalped was back in 1837.

I'm going to keep it that way. But, Dad!

Oh,

boy, thanks. Do I owe you one?

Could you owe me about $40 a month?

Huh? All my daughters are trying to clip me.

What's the $40 for?

It's to help me with the scholarship.

See, Joanie turned me on to this terrific dance teacher, and I really

she'll help improve my chances.

That's one investment I can't afford.

Whom do I make this check out to? The Elkhart Community of the Dance.

Oh.

You know, Elizabeth, I'm very pleased with the positive approach you're taking

towards the scholarship challenge.

How is your college board training coming?

Well, Abby says I'm ready for a trial run.

Terrific.

I'm not so sure I agree with her.

Stop, put your pencil down, close your booklet, and look up at me. The

examination is over. I think I'm over.

Yeah, think how I'm going to feel after two hours of grading all this.

Be kind, Abby.

Kind is not in the college board vocabulary.

In the middle or out on the side?

Who knows where the queen of hearts lies?

Watch the card with the bent corner right there in the middle. That's the

Right there.

No, no.

You're done.

Just don't get any bright ideas about the company's 60 bucks.

That money's to be invested in tickets. That money is for a profit.

I'm tired of waiting in line.

Hey, uh, are you playing for quarters or are you playing for, uh...

Real money.

Why not?

Follow the cards and watch my hand, and you'll know where the little lady lands.

There she is right there.

What do you got, Tal?

ESP?

Yeah, it is quicker than the hand.

How about that? Great. Now the company can buy another ticket. The company

have to buy any tickets. I'm going to double our investment right now.

Tommy, that's the money for the tickets.

Hey, be cool. I know what I'm doing.

All right.

Over and under, out and in, whoever finds her is bound to win.

Better luck next time, pal.

When our investors hear about this, there won't be a next time.

You graded me already?

Yeah, well, you left a lot of answers blank at the end of each section, which

means we're going to have to work on your speed.

Just give me the numbers, Abby.

Okay. You made 540 on math and 565 on English.

I'll never break 700.

Sure you will. It just means that we have to double up on our cramming

and push harder.

Plie one.

Two, releve three.

Four, extend side.

Two, three, four, turn out five. Hold six, seven, lower eight.

Good. Lighten up.

Try it with looser movements, more flowing and graceful.

Watch, Andy.

Take over, woman, will you?

Come with me.

Yet I can feel the tension that was plain enough from the way you were

You're tied up in knots about something.

I have been a little distracted lately.

A little distracted.

You're totally rigid.

Now, what's the matter?

I just took a practice college board, Gwen. You know what I got? Middle 500s.

What I need is... What you need is to relax.

Now, I'm going to show you an exercise that will free the real Elizabeth.

Your arms are balloons.

As you take a deep breath from the abdomen, they inflate.

They rise.

As you exhale, they deflate, coming to rest again at your sides.

Good. That's good.

Do it again.

Now, Elizabeth, you cannot allow yourself to worry about something if it

you so anxious you can't function.

Don't talk. Just breathe.

Now, you are here to celebrate the joy of dancing.

Let go, Elizabeth.

Ten years younger. No, you can't. Every time you wave those scissors at me, one

hair falls out and another turns gray.

Oh, come on, Daddy. I've got to have practice.

Please. You better find somebody else. See, your father's hairs are on the

endangered species list.

That means you have to have an environmental impact report to cut them.

True. Now, do you want to be the first hair stylist in history to be picketed

the Sierra Club?

All right, nobody's seen you. We haven't? No, and if anyone calls, tell

not home, except for Danny.

Well, what do we say when people call?

Tell them I moved to Pakenstein. Only Nicholas knows where that is.

I'd better see what that was all about. Oh, Daddy, you're just trying to get

away from me. I can tell. Why do you say that when all I want to do is get away

from you?

Oh,

an unidentified flying Bradford.

Elizabeth, you are made for the college board session.

Oh, thanks, Abby, but I won't be needing any more coaching.

You're just going to be satisfied with 500?

That's not going to get you into Wellington.

Who needs Wellington?

I'm going to become a professional dancer.

These beads are really groovy, Elizabeth.

I'm just going to leave this here until you're certain you don't want it.

I'm not only certain, I'm positive.

Now take it to the garage.

Okay.

You know, sometimes you have to live with a thing before you're really sure

for you.

Only if you don't know what you really want.

Sometimes you only think you know what you want.

This time I know.

Goodbye, door.

Hello, garage.

Elizabeth, what have you done?

Where's my bed?

My bureau.

My John Travolta poster.

Nancy, how could we find our true selves in all that clutter?

Clutter? That wasn't clutter. That was my life. And I want it back.

Oh, now you hold on. This is my space as well as yours.

Correction.

That half is your space, and this half is civilization.

Danny suggested that I shouldn't bet our entire capital assets, but I picked the

queen five times in a row when the other guy was betting.

Because you happened to notice that the queen had a crimp in the corner.

Yeah. Only this poor dumb guy that's betting, he doesn't notice the crimp,

he's always losing.

Why didn't you tell me you were there?

I was down in Stockton rigging a scaffolding, friend. Even from there, I

recognize the oldest con game in the world. Me conned?

Well, the first guy, the dumb one, he's the shill.

Oh, now you tell me. Didn't it strike you as odd that you were the only one in

the world that could see the crimp card?

No, at the time, it struck me as lucky.

Hey, how come you know so much?

Did you fall for this when you were my age?

No way.

I read about three -card modding in a book.

Here.

Read.

A complete history of con games?

Now, if you'd had that yesterday, you might still have your investor's $60.

Yeah, well, it might as well be $1 ,000.

Just think of it as an investment in your personal education.

Hey, do you mind if I borrow this for a while?

Eddie Birdsteed says that you owe his big brother $18.

You'll get it back.

All right, now I have three cards here.

Two aces and a queen, and what you have to do is tell me where the queen is.

But Eddie said that his big brother's going to twist your head off when he

you alone.

He's not going to find me until I'm ready. Now I'm going to move these cards

around, and I want you to keep your eye on the queen. Now watch carefully.

All right, which one's the queen?

What's the matter? Weren't you watching? Why didn't you pick this one?

I don't like that one. The corner's all bent.

It's all my fault.

Your fault?

Come on, Tom.

If I could afford to send Elizabeth to Wellington, she never would have met

Gwen person.

Dad, don't blame it on Gwen.

She's right, Tom. From everything I hear about Gwen Elkhart, I think I'd like

her a lot.

Oh, how can you like a person who fills your daughter's head with space?

I tell you something. I am going to forbid her to go back to that dipsy

studio. I wouldn't do that if I were you.

I mean, would you rather have her imitating Gwen here in our house or

someplace else?

No, Elizabeth would never leave home. Oh, wouldn't she?

Yeah, Dad.

That's what you said about David.

Well, I wish you would have been more encouraging about her college board

scores. I had to tell her the truth. I couldn't lie to her.

This way, if she works hard enough, she might make the 700s on the real test.

All right, that's exactly what I'll tell her.

No, I'll tell her.

Why you?

Because I won't tell her. I'll suggest.

Yeah, Dad, it works great. You ought to try it sometime.

Oh, really?

Really. Is that an order or a suggestion?

But you put a lot of work into preparing for the college boards, and we were

making progress.

It just seems to me that you owe it to yourself to go back to work and get

for the real test.

I think I owe it to myself to explore my potential as a dancer.

Fine, but can't you also explore your very real potential as a student,

it's at Wellington or anywhere else?

You know, I, uh, felt tension in this space, Abby, and I think it's coming

you. Here, stand up and I'll show you something, okay?

Okay.

But Elizabeth, tension is a very real part of life, you know? I mean, it means

that we're making an effort, and an effort means that we're not copping out.

Don't talk, just breathe. Okay, I'm breathing.

Okay, now close your eyes.

and imagine yourself suspended from the ceiling. Your arms are balloons, and as

you take a deep breath from your abdomen, they inflate.

Elizabeth, I'm not in the market for exercise. Can't we talk about the

The college boards make me feel A, rigid, B, uptight, C,

dumb, D, nauseous, and E, all of the above.

Hey, I don't know which hurt worse, striking out with Elizabeth or

how smug I was with you.

So now you learn being a father is not as easy as it looks. Not even for a

woman.

Do you think she's good enough to be a professional dancer?

You're asking me, the man who does the box step on your toes?

It's just such a terribly hard life.

I'd hate to see her fail at it.

Because I failed her.

That's not true.

Look, all the other girls got to go to the college as they wanted to.

Even David and Nancy got not to attend.

Why can't Elizabeth go where she wants to? I'm not going to let you take the

for this. You know, there is a limit to what one man can provide for his family.

And you've already exceeded that quota by at least 6 .2 children.

I'm not impressed with that statistic.

And neither is Elizabeth.

It looks like a very interesting dance.

Does it? Yeah.

Is that something that Gwen taught you?

Oh, no, I'm making it up.

Oh, really?

That's what they call interpretive dancing. What is your creation about?

Oh, well, I'm calling it Dance of the Imprisoned Spirit.

Wow, that sounds heavy, doesn't it? Yeah, Gwen thought it was the perfect

expression of my existential self.

Oh, you mean that Gwen thinks that you're imprisoned?

Oh, no, she thinks I was, but now I'm breaking free.

That's what I'm calling my last movement. Freedom found.

And what does Gwen think about that?

Oh, well, she hasn't seen it yet, but I'm sure she'll love it.

Especially when I burn the book.

What? Wait a minute. When you burn the what?

College board manual.

No, no, no. Bradfords don't burn books. Any books.

It's a symbolic ritual of my rebirth.

It's sacrilege.

I should have known you wouldn't understand.

I understand. I understand perfectly.

You can't do this to yourself.

And you can't do it to me. And you can't stop me.

All right.

In the middle or on the side? Who knows where the lady hides?

Over and under, out and in. Whoever finds her is bound to win.

Aw, not again.

I'm wiped out.

Sorry, stranger, but the queen is over here.

Anyone else?

Today could be your lucky day.

Okay, my friend. You look a lot brighter than whoever that was.

I admire your confidence.

Follow the cards and wash my hands, and soon you'll find where the lady lands.

Congratulations. Would you care to go for a spa?

Care to come to my office?

It's a contest, right?

Each succeeding Bradford has to top the exploits of his or her senior sibling.

Please tell me you're the last of the Bradford litter, huh?

No, sir. I have a younger brother.

Give me strength.

How much younger?

Nicholas is nine.

Perfect. My ulcer will mercifully have put me in the cemetery before he reaches

high school.

Now tell me, why were you turning our nice Sacramento campus into Las Vegas?

Uh, what you don't understand, sir, is we were only doing research.

Oh, yeah, that's it. Research.

For a class paper?

What exactly were you researching?

The history of con games.

It's really fascinating.

You see, the three -card money, which we were field testing, is the oldest

recorded con in history.

And the second oldest is the research paper con.

Tell me, what class was this paper for?

We haven't decided yet.

Good.

Then you can turn it into me.

Ten thousand words.

Ten thousand?

With footnotes. On my desk, Monday morning.

You know, Gwen, you were right. I am the imprisoned spirit.

Whoa, Elizabeth.

When we discussed the theme of your dance, I said we all make ourselves

prisoners in some way.

I didn't know you had parent problems.

Do I?

Then use the energy of that turmoil to help choreograph your workshop number.

Okay, and I'll use the feeling of freedom and space that you give me.

Fine, if you think that'll work for you.

It'll be the best part.

Oh, Gwen, I'm so glad to be here with you and become part of your company.

If that's what you want, I hope it works out.

Works out? I don't understand. I thought you wanted me to become a dancer.

I do, and I hope your dance is a very impressive tryout.

Tryout? Nobody said it was a tryout. I guess everybody knows that, child.

Next month's workshop is always the audition for my professional ensemble.

So that's the way it works, huh? Oh, now, don't look so stricken. I will be

available any time you want me, and your sister Joanie will be a big help.

As long as I don't tell Dad she's doing it.

One, two, three, four, and round and two... Stop! It's wrong!

Okay, go ahead.

Now, will you please pay attention to what you're doing? Elizabeth, I was

attention. No, you weren't. You counted wrong and threw me off.

Elizabeth, look, maybe you're just having trouble with this particular part

today. No, this is the crucial movement in the whole dance. It's where I break

free and get reborn.

Yeah, I know.

Well, maybe you just can't relate to those feelings right now. Look, I don't

need any of your dumb comments. I just need you to count right for once, okay?

Well, how much did you get for my bike?

The best offer so far is 40 bucks.

It's worth at least twice that much.

Try telling that to a customer who's just counted six missing spokes.

Great.

I sell my bike for a 40 -buck loss, and that still doesn't get our investors off

our cases.

Not to mention the buck we lost to the guy we were supposed to be conning.

We're going to need jobs.

Who's got time?

I'm only up to word 4 ,752 on Gillette's paper.

How about you?

2 ,471.

It's 7 ,223.

We'll die from writer's cramp. Yeah, if our investors don't kill us first.

7 ,224.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to relax.

Can you relax and cut my hair?

No way.

But you always used to cut my hair. And if you don't do it now, Nancy's going to

bald me.

I see the problem, but I don't have the time.

You don't have time for anything anymore.

I've got to get ready for my dance.

I sure do like the old Elizabeth better.

The old Elizabeth?

Yeah. She was more fun.

No, the old Elizabeth worried too much.

Not as much as she worries now.

You mean you're accusing me of deliberately avoiding my very own

daughter? Yeah, ask yourself, Dad.

When was the very last time you even spoke to Elizabeth?

Well, let's see. It was four days ago. She ran out of the kitchen when I yelled

at her, and then I kicked the refrigerator in frustration.

Four days, huh? Well, at least he's not ignoring the calendar.

No, Dad, I don't think you're avoiding Elizabeth.

Oh, thank you, Joan.

I think you're conducting a cold, calculating campaign of disapproving

Hmm, that sounds interesting.

I might try that if my present tactics don't work.

Oh, come on, Dad. How can you be using tactics on Elizabeth if you don't even

anything about her? Yeah, Dad, this can't go on. Try having your bedroom

out. Actually, I think this whole matter is the fault of a horoscope.

See, you know what I'm doing? I'm keeping a very close eye on...

Jupiter and Venus rising?

Tom, the girls deserve a straight answer.

All right, the girls are right. I am avoiding her until my throat gets better

and then I can really yell at her. Tom. I don't know what to do with her. She's

got me stymied. When I figure something out, I'll let you know.

What about you, Abby?

Well, lately I've been asking myself one simple question.

Yeah?

What could be the worst thing that could happen to Elizabeth if she becomes a

professional dancer?

Besides starvation?

Well, did you like it?

Well, I can see how hard you've been working.

The concept showed genuine emotion, and there was some wonderful fluid movement.

Thank you.

However, I'm afraid your timing was off.

My timing?

In the cloak, it doesn't work. It's really much too cumbersome.

But the cloak is my old self.

Not having it would force you to be...

More inventive in portraying your rebirth.

Okay.

Well, if that's what you think, will it be okay then?

Well, the number needs a lot of work, Elizabeth.

But, of course, in the long run, the more you put in it, the better your

are. What about in the short run?

Well, you must realize there will be others at the tryout who've had a lot

experience than you.

So, in other words, it's not a 700?

No, not yet.

But you have made progress.

And I think you owe it to yourself to go back to work and get ready for the real

competition.

I never expected you to use that awful word.

Then maybe you haven't been listening.

One student out of 500 makes it into my dance company.

One company out of 100 keeps its head above water.

If this were a non -competitive world...

Do you think I would be struggling to survive in Sacramento?

What about celebrating the joy of dance?

The joy of everything, Elizabeth, is working at it.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Hi. Hi.

I didn't make it.

Yeah, she said it needed work. Lots of work.

I'm sorry.

I'm not.

You're not?

Yeah, I left the studio angry.

You know, in real hurt.

But then walking home, I realized that Gwen was right.

I mean, I... I expected to walk in there and dazzle her after only three weeks'

work. I expected to set the dance world on fire or something.

You have talent, Elizabeth.

Maybe, but talent isn't enough.

It takes work.

Lots of work.

Abby, I may have blown my audition, but I hope I haven't blown it with you.

No such luck, kiddo.

You mean you still help me with my boards? Oh, try and stop me.

Thanks.

So, back to the books.

Two dollars for a haircut?

Yeah, that's my final offer.

People don't pay to give haircuts. They pay to get them.

Trust me, Nicholas.

Trust me.

Come on. Sit on the bed.

No! No!

I'll cut your hair, Nicholas.

All right.

You'll do no such thing, Elizabeth.

Save me! Nancy, it's Nicholas's hair, and he wants me to cut it. Do I muscle

on your dancing?

No, but I wouldn't care if you did. What do you mean you wouldn't care? These

days, if I did anything or said anything about your dancing, you'd divide me in

half. Actually, I've decided the only dancing I'm good at right now is the

sidestep. The sidestep? Kind of a detour boogie. I guess I thought I could just

dance away from all my problems, but it doesn't work like that. Oh, Elizabeth, I

can't believe you're saying this.

I can't even believe my arms didn't stretch.

But I love it. Yeah.

Good to have you back. Thanks.

Okay.

Personally, I think it would be great for your apartment.

In other words, you can't stand them either.

Well, how about Nicholas's Playhouse?

I tried that. He said he'd rather throw up.

Oh, what's this?

Elizabeth is back with us.

How far back?

Well, I just repainted her room, and I'm about to move her furniture back.

And tomorrow we start more crammy sessions for the college boys, and

her dancing around that.

See? My strategy. It works. Oh, what a liar. What strategy?

How do I know? I haven't figured one out yet.

That's what I thought.

You know, somebody up there really likes you, Tom.

Obviously you're not referring to our second floor.

Obviously.