Original subtitles

Hi, Ngawa.

Long time no see.

How come Daddy keeps Auntie V's present in the basement?

Uh, well, it's a fertility guide, and it's something our fathers never really

needed. Well, we better move him upstairs before Auntie V gets here.

Oh, darn it.

Mickey, can I have that flashlight? We're all going to freeze to death if I

don't get this lit.

What's a fertility guide for, anyway?

Oh, it's something that helps people have children.

Gee, you better stay in the basement.

It is enough.

Annie B's in town.

Yeah, she did a funeral.

The famous Annie B? The one and only.

Hello.

Hi. Hey, Annie B is coming.

Yeah, so I hear. Isn't that fantastic? Yeah, it's great. Hey, Abby, I really

like your furniture, but it sort of gives the room a kind of overcrowded

don't you think?

Well, it... Our furniture now, and I would say the word is cozy.

Hiya. Oh, hi, Abby. Hey, Dad told me as a surprise.

Yeah, I heard. It's Mr.

Vivian's here. Is there anything I can do? No, no, no. We've got it all under

control. At least till she comes. Yeah. You know, she's staying at a hotel. She

didn't want to interfere.

Oh, that'll be the day. Remember last time? time she was here, she had you

off with a group of traveling actors. Well, she had you jumping out of an

airplane. And what was it, David being an architect?

Yeah. All that in one visit? Yeah. Well, she couldn't stay long.

You will absolutely adore her.

Oh, no, Johnny, Johnny.

You smell marvelous.

What is that?

It's aftershave lotion.

It's called Mucho Macho. Oh, let me guess. It's a present from Auntie V.

Right. How'd you know?

Little bird told me. Tell me, is Auntie V as truly amazing as her legend?

More.

Do you think we'll hit it off?

Oh, sure.

I mean, she's a little flaky, but she has a warm heart. So do you.

Oh, David, I'm glad you're here. The disposal's flipped out again.

This is where I came in.

Hey, wait. I don't generally make house calls.

David, please.

All right.

Don't panic.

Now,

the trick was to be scientific.

I'll send you my bill.

Hey, Abby.

Did you hear the news? Tomás, yeah, I heard something unusual is going on

here. I hope your sister lets me in on it pretty quick. Oh, what secret?

How to get so much activity out of teenagers.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, she's here.

Just don't worry about a thing. Just be yourself. Relax.

You look great. You are great. Now, calm and cool. That's the way to go.

Oh,

umgawa.

is prettier than you said she was.

Oh!

Come on!

Let me look at you.

Oh, she's better than any of you deserve.

You are a Bradford. Well, that's what it says on the marriage license.

Don't believe everything you read on a marriage license. I never did. That's

what I heard.

Oh, well, don't believe everything you hear either. Listen,

I want to celebrate. I want to buy my two favorite women a drink.

Tommy Bellybutt? Oh, please, don't ask.

So, I said to Horst, if you want to spend most of your time with your cars

the Grand Prix circuit, then I have got to find something to do, even if I have

to go to work to do it. You're going to go to work? Don't laugh. I'm very good

at my job. What is your job?

I am the cruise director on the most gorgeous ocean liner afloat.

You call that work?

Most of my salary goes for charity, but I'm doing something, and I love it.

Captain's been an old friend of mine. The crew is French. I mean, what more

I say?

Exotic locales.

The world is our playground.

We go to the South Seas, the Mediterranean, South America.

Even Africa?

Deepest, darkest Africa, Nicholas.

As a matter of fact, that's where I found Umgawa, the fertility god.

I was going up the Congo in a canoe, and I stumbled on him in a native village.

I knew you'd adore him. No, he's fine.

I just hope he doesn't work.

Now I have to find the perfect wedding gift for you.

Excuse me, uh, Joanie's put dinner on. Oh, I'm hungry.

Nicholas, would you escort me?

Huh? Don't worry, darling, it doesn't hurt.

Here, love.

May the force be with you.

Oh, no.

You think Nicholas will like it?

He'll never be able to get him out of it. Where did you get that?

What's that?

Oh.

Oh, college catalog, huh? I never could make any sense out of those things.

Well, I think you have to be a genius to figure one of these things out. They

are very badly written.

Now, why are you wasting your time?

Do you know that to take the interior decorating classes I want, I have to

English, philosophy, history, and math?

Well, all I know is that my real education came from interesting people

going to exciting places.

I mean, seeing them, not reading about them.

Horst reads.

Oh, I wish I could travel, Annie B.

Now, why didn't I think of that myself?

Of course, you will be wasted in a community college in Sacramento.

The world is your campus.

I'm going to take you on my next cruise.

Oh, Annie V.

Yeah, I would love it.

And of course, the cruise would be a marvelous experience for any young lady,

but especially one as attractive as Nancy.

She'll be the toast of the Riviera, the belle of the Baltic. Well, you just

talked me out of it. Would you pass the rolls, please?

It's the opportunity of a lifetime. You wouldn't dare say no.

No. Please pass the rolls.

Well, I'm sure you know what you're doing.

But after all, it is only eight weeks.

College will be here when she gets back. It's the ship that won't wait.

Eight weeks, is that all?

Eight weeks.

With major stops in all the big ports and side trips to museums and galleries.

She'll be talking to people from all over the world. I mean, she'll be having

dinner with professors and foreign dignitaries.

I mean, she will be getting a first -class liberal education.

Abby.

How liberal?

I will be with her every moment.

Tom, she'll be with her every moment.

V, remember how I always said that you would never get me to ride my bicycle

across the old railroad trestle?

And you did.

Oh, Tommy, I knew you wouldn't say no. Nancy will be so thrilled.

It might be good for her, Abby. And while she's away, maybe we can add on

spare room.

I have a terrific idea.

Another idea?

Okay, everybody out.

Who lives here?

Someone with a Swiss bank account.

Somebody who owns a Swiss bank. Yeah, we brought a Swiss, like you said, Annie

V. Where's the pool? Down the tennis court.

surprise what's this all about abby tom i finally found a wedding gift that

expresses my love and my joy at you two having found each other and i present it

to you with all my very best wishes well how do you like it like it i didn't see

it yet oh but it's right in front of you your new house voila

Well, shall we start to make some plans?

Oh, why, since when have you ever bothered to consult us about anything?

What is all this supposed to be, anyway?

I told you, Tommy Bellybutton.

It's your wedding present.

What kind of a thank -you note are we supposed to send you? Dear V, thank you

for the estate. It really comes in handy. We use it every day.

Now you're being ridiculous.

I'm being ridiculous?

Me? Safe and sane?

Bradford? Oh, no, no. I mean, monogrammed towers are one thing. We

squeeze the fertility garden to our lives if we have to. But, I mean, if you

think that I can accept this plantation, well, then you're even crazier than I

gave you credit for. John. Never mind.

You'll get used to his little self. He's just like Horst.

We'll discuss it after you've calmed down.

Oh. Look, I am calm, and we're not going to discuss it anymore. You can't

possibly think that I would accept an outrageous gift like this. Now, now,

now. I know all about your stubborn pride, little brother.

I knew you wouldn't accept the whole package. Oh, well, good. Then that

that. I was afraid of you.

That's why I agreed only to a substantial down payment.

Ah.

Of course, I'll guarantee the loan, and the rest is up to you.

Huh? That goes for me, too, huh?

Now, wait a minute, V, please. You've done some pretty high -handed things in

your life, but pushing me into bankruptcy, that would really take... V,

a wonderful, fabulous, incredible wedding gift, but we couldn't possibly

it. It's much too much.

Well, I... I guess I was being high -handed.

It's just that I wanted you two to know how happy I am that you two found each

other. I wanted to give you something that would make it easier on you.

You're the only real family I've ever had.

I mean, it isn't as if I can't afford this. I have money of my own,

real estate, what have you.

One day it'll all go to you and the children.

What's mine is yours.

Yes, I was being selfish.

I just wanted to be around to watch you enjoy even a part of it.

Oh, V, listen, I appreciate it so much. It's just that it came as too much of a

surprise. It didn't surprise me. Oh, I understand.

I guess I shouldn't have expected you to say yes.

I just wish you hadn't said no so quickly.

I wish you'd think about it, you know, give it a little time. That's all I ask.

All right. I mean, thinking is the one thing I can't afford, right?

He remembered.

Oh, you'll love him. He's our realtor.

Our realtor?

What's hers is ours.

Instruction up to a point.

Abby, Tom, I'd like to have you meet Morgan Ames. How do you do, Abby? Mr.

Bradford, your sister's a very decisive woman. Once she makes up her mind...

Morgan helped us find this house.

Well, shall we go outside and chat?

Sure.

Enjoy reading your column very much, Mr. Bradford.

I think you'll have fun writing it up in that study upstairs.

Who knows what brilliance it'll inspire.

It'll have to inspire a bestseller to pay for all this.

Oh, don't be misled, Mrs. Bradford. I've driven by your home. You'd be amazed at

the price we could get for it. No less than triple what you paid.

I'm glad you didn't see the inside of it.

It's a seller's market.

But we'd be buyers here, right? That's right, and you'd be reinvesting all your

big profits into a solid buy that would increase in value even before it cleared

escrow. And the kicker is, you'd be getting a tax break at the same time. I

suppose next you'll be telling me that I'm losing money if I don't buy this

place. You read my mind.

Annie V?

Where can I find the narrow supply of drinking water?

Well, I think Morgan has some soft drinks for us.

As a matter of fact, I could use a hand setting up this lunch.

Well, okay.

I hate cute.

I hate cute.

I'm glad your sister promised not to

interfere. I'd hate to see her when she was trying to.

Hey, Dad!

Hey, where have you been?

Lost. Lost?

Nicholas, this is a strange neighborhood. Don't wander off.

Who wandered off? I got lost in the house.

Well, anyway, cute.

Mr. Ames is going to serve us lunch.

Okay, but first I'm going swimming. Bye.

Oh, boy.

It's going to be awfully hard to say no.

Well, Tom, if you have any further questions, these things will give you

answer. This independent study shows how to get maximum profit if you sell this

house right now. And this is the proof that the equity buildup in your new home

will far outstrip your present equity situation.

So I would say that all this pretty well proves my point.

It proves something.

I thought you'd see it that way.

It proves that I don't understand half of what you're saying.

I didn't know he had company.

Call me a taxi.

You speak French?

Not bad for a taxi.

Well, I spent a year in Paris.

I think I'm jealous.

I'm trying to learn it from my European cruise I'm planning on taking.

Oh, well, I'd love to help you, but I'm a little tied up with your father right

now. Oh, hey, no.

Don't let my dull sense of high finance stand in your way.

Why don't you and Nancy take off for a few minutes? It'll give me a chance to

over your independent survey. It's a good idea.

I can do better than that, Tom. Why don't I leave these figures with you,

then when Abby gets home from her meeting, you can go over them with her.

Good.

Mademoiselle. Monsieur.

V, explain something to me.

Morgan just demonstrated how rich I am.

How come I feel so broke?

No need to fret about that now. You know what a good deal it is. In some ways,

maybe. You see, I lied to Morgan. I know a lot more about real estate than I let

on. And frankly, it's not that bad a deal.

But you just can't make a big move like that over dollars and cents.

Tom.

Abby is a very brave woman.

She never complains about having to put up with all this. The crowding, the

inconvenience.

We've managed so far. But how long can it last?

Listen, little brother.

Abby shouldn't have to live with a memory.

And neither should you.

And neither should the children.

I love you. I love you.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

I didn't do a very good job of waiting up for you.

These teacher union elections always run late.

Who won?

Anyone who didn't get elected.

So how was your meeting with Morgan Ames?

Oh, yeah, him.

Well, the way he explains it, we'd be worth more in debt than out of it.

Well, that's an old American tradition.

Abby? Yeah?

What do you think if we did close the door on this place?

I mean, you know, we wouldn't be on top of each other anymore.

We wouldn't have to keep separating Tommy and Nicholas from fighting over

going to clean the room.

Every time I turn around, something else is broken.

If it isn't the furnace, it's the plumbing.

I don't know the last time I took a shower without the water turning ice

right in the middle of it.

a lot of history in this old house.

But what about the future?

I mean, like Vivian says, it would be a fresh start for us.

What do you think?

I think we should put it to a vote.

There it is, everybody.

The first step to a fresh start.

Where is the post office?

Où est le bureau de poste?

Où est le bureau de poste? I would like a room with a bath.

Je voudrais une chambre avec celle de bain.

Je voudrais une chambre avec... avec a bathroom.

Is there a drugstore in the neighborhood?

Y a -t -il une pharmacie dans le coin?

Y a -t -il une pharmacie dans le coin?

Would you direct me to the nearest subway stop?

Voulez -vous me diriger à la station de metro la plus proche?

Huh? Do you repeat that? Where is the Arch of Triumph?

Où est l 'Arc de Triomphe? Où est l 'Arc... Des triomphes. What about

discotheques? How much is a round -trip ticket to Marseille?

Combien coûte un billet aller retour à Marseille?

Combien coûte un billet?

A round -trip?

A billet?

Oh, who wants to go to Marseille anyway?

What time is it?

Quelle heure est -il?

It's 11 o 'clock. That's what time it is.

It's supposed to look good.

We should have one of these every Sunday.

Yeah.

See you later.

I really appreciate you sticking around and helping with all this, Nancy. Oh,

Morgan, I don't mind at all.

Besides, you can help me with my French.

Avec plaisir, mademoiselle.

I have some shopping to do. Is it safe to leave you two alone?

Yeah, I think so.

Thanks for stopping by. Listen, if you want to see the house again, please give

me a call, okay?

Lookie -loos.

Just curious.

Where were we?

Oh, um, the hair?

Uh -huh.

Les cheveux?

Uh, loya?

Probably more looky -loos.

Don't go away, okay?

I won't.

Well, a year in Paris did do wonders for my French.

Anything happen?

If you mean, did we sell the house? No, Nicholas, we didn't. But we might have a

few hot prospects, so I'd appreciate it if you'd be ready to show the house on a

moment's notice.

Sure. Would it be all right for us to have dinner?

Oh, sure.

Sure. Just don't mess up the kitchen, okay?

Would you like to help me take those signs down outside?

Oh, oui, oui.

Avec plaisir.

Plaisir. Plaisir.

Coming, Abby?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Don't spoil your dinner, Nicholas. We're having quiche Lorraine.

We usually have hamburgers on Wednesday night, but that's when Elizabeth comes.

That's the only thing she can cook.

Well, you usually eat about three.

Yeah, you're probably going to put ketchup all over this quiche, huh? Of

you did. Mustard.

Hello.

How much pepper?

Soup's fine.

Okay,

I'll tell them.

Hey, you guys, that was Morgan Ames, and he's bringing some people over in about

ten minutes.

Morgan Ames! Battle stations!

You go upstairs and tell Nancy she's in the bathroom, right?

Nicholas, we're supposed to be straightening this place up.

These are straight. See?

Get out of here, Elizabeth.

I just wanted to tell you something.

Out. Out.

Can't a person have any privacy around here?

I wish somebody would fix the lock.

I was here first.

You want privacy?

Okay, have your privacy.

Circuitbreakers are coming to see our house. I don't believe it.

Who are the Circuitbreakers? I mean, what are they?

They're a local rock group, Annie V. They made it big in their first record.

Punk rock and they stink.

They're a driver, Desi.

They're coming.

Hello,

Mary. Hello there.

Well, here we are.

Please feel free to look around, ask questions. It's a very good buy, I

you. Well, it's basic American.

It's very good. Very good.

See, Mr. Ames, these circuit breakers were created by a computer.

It indicates that they require an average type ambiance so that they can

use their music as a release. You follow?

Oh, of course, of course. Well, this is certainly average ambiance.

Extremely average.

Please feel free to look around. Ask questions.

Hey, old buddy.

How's it going?

Hi. No, just a little bug.

Well, I was sure that the little homemaker would be interested in the

I drive.

Does it?

No, I'm Mac.

Elizabeth played bass, but he got busted in Fresno.

Come with the house?

Oh!

Oh!

Acoustic's okay.

Where's the room?

Groupie quarters?

An office for the computer?

I think that'll do it, Mr. Ames.

Let's talk turkey.

Outside. Fine, fine. Good.

Stay cool, fella, okay?

God will say.

You know it, man.

We have some hot prospects here. I wonder who they were.

Yeah, if you two want to go inside, I'll speak to them.

In what language?

All right, now, men, here, take these boxes and put them out by the curb. The

Salvation Army will be along any minute. And don't bring anything back.

Uh, Dad, why is it that you get to keep that weird -looking hat and we have to

get rid of everything? Huh? Weird -looking hat? This is my favorite

Actually, what I mean is I've been hunting for it for 20 years. All right,

on, out, out, come on.

Let's go.

All right, mush, men, mush, mush.

Oh, Abby.

Hey, look at this.

Remember? You sent it to me when I was about three years old.

I was in New York.

Boy, I love this wagon.

Then Tommy had it.

Nicholas lost the wheel.

I know.

These old photographs, they're very special.

It's hard to turn your back on the past.

David, you don't seem as excited as everyone else is about moving.

Yeah, well, it's...

Purely selfish, I suppose.

See, when I drop in here, it's coming home.

Visiting that other place will be... I don't know.

It'll be visiting Dad's new house.

Maybe somebody can find another wheel for this thing.

Somebody's in the bathroom.

I can't sleep.

This old house talks to me.

Probably knows we're moving.

Yeah.

Can't worry about how the house feels.

We're doing the right thing.

Nancy. That second step always did creak.

Don't worry, guys. You're going to like the new place.

Really. You might even get your own room and everything.

Nicholas, why don't you cool it? We got an early day tomorrow, okay?

Okay. And don't worry.

I'll come and visit you every day.

You won't.

Yeah.

Morgan, wait, please.

Nancy, tomorrow's a big day for both of us.

Morgan, I don't want to leave you.

Nancy, you are so sweet and beautiful, but what about your cruise?

Who cares about the cruise?

You mean you're going to pass up that trip?

Because you're more important to me.

What's the matter, Morgan?

Nancy, uh... Don't you want me to stay?

I didn't want to have to tell you this. I mean, I thought you were going away.

You know, life goes on.

Nancy, I'm engaged.

I didn't mean to keep it from you, but it just... Nobody asked.

And I figured it was harmless enough. I mean, my fiancé's been out of town for

almost a month now.

Oh, I see.

You mean I just happen to be handy and easy? Is that it, Morgan? No, no, no,

Nancy, I really do care for you. But I just didn't think that you were going to

get serious.

You cheater.

Morgan, I feel sorry for your fiance.

Hi, how are you?

Oh, go watch that China.

That's V .K. Hi, hello.

Well, here I am. What can I do? Oh, V, hi. Well, gee, I don't know, really.

we're doing is we're taking our personal clothing and all the personal things

and we're moving them in David's van to save time and money with the movies.

Watch it with the goldfish. They'll drown. They can't drown.

Oh, boy, what a day this is, I tell you. Oh, listen, would you do me a favor?

Go in there and tell Nicholas to get off the telephone and get up in his room

and get everything out of the room. Right.

Now, for a minute there, you sounded just like Horst. Oh, yeah? Hi, Hattie B.

Hi, Hattie.

Listen,

Nancy wants to talk to you and she won't talk to anybody else.

Right, right, right. Now, wait. Now, first Nicholas, then Nancy, right?

yes. Okay.

Oh, he's so nerve -wracking.

Oh, no, no, no. He stays. Oh, excuse me. She stays.

Yep. Freddy, I know, but if you wanted me to come over to your house after

school, I'd have to turn right back and get home in time for dinner.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

That's three different buses and two transfers.

Fifty cents a day.

Well, it's not my idea to move.

Okay, goodbye, Freddy.

I know it's not easy to move away and leave old friends, but you'll make new

ones in no time.

Not like Freddy Ryan.

He's the best friend the guy could ever have.

Annie B, Annie B, your horse is here. My horse?

Yeah, some guy gets out of a super fast car and says to me, you will tell Vivian

that her horse is here.

My horse?

My horse?

He has come to apologize, has he? Well, it is too late, because I'm an

independent woman.

Horst von Manfred, go away!

You will come with me now? I will not come with you now or ever!

You are a German high -handed potato head.

Ja.

You are my wife.

You will come.

Not as long as you care about your stupid cars more than you care about me.

I've sold them all.

I'm delivering this one to Marvin.

Have a nice trip, Horst. Alone. I am sailing a week from Wednesday. Alone.

Nine.

You are no longer cruise director.

You have been... Dismissed.

Oh? And by whose order?

Mine. I am the managing director of your cruise line.

Oh. I bought it.

Ich liebe dich.

Horked?

Horsed.

You bought the cruise line?

You are a stupid.

What's the matter?

I feel so humiliated, Annie V.

I really thought I loved Morgan, but he was only using me.

Morgan Ames is engaged.

Oh, Nancy, I am so sorry. I had no idea.

That cad!

I wonder if Horse brought his dueling pistols.

Please, Annie V., can't we leave today?

Of course we can leave today.

Oh, Nancy, I... I am really very, very sorry, but I have some

rather bad news for you.

I've been fired.

You've been fired?

By who?

By my horse.

He is the new owner of the cruise line. We won't be going.

But I can't stay here.

I've got to leave. Now, Nancy, please, please don't. Just listen to me.

Nancy.

Well, I guess Abby was right. You are young, and thank God you are.

I mean, you'll get over this in no time.

Oh, believe me, I've been through this more times than I care to recall.

We're not talking about you, Annie V. We're talking about me.

Nancy, wait.

Oh.

Nancy. Nancy, please listen to me.

I've already done that, and look where it's got me.

All right, I was wrong. I was thinking of myself at your age, not you.

Nancy, you need...

More time to grow up, to mature. And you can do that at college and live right

here at home.

Home isn't here anymore, Annie V.

Take a look.

You fixed that.

You and Abby.

Me? Hey, Nancy, wait a minute. Don't set me up as a scapegoat, okay?

Nancy. Wait, Tom, let's handle this right now. Nancy, I love this house.

place was you. It was all of you and what you've been, but...

Hey, I could move with the past.

And I thought I was doing pretty well, too.

Tom, the only reason I wanted to move was for your sake. And, well, the pain

this place seemed to cause you and your children.

They've got everything out of the garage.

What cause?

Hold it, David. But I thought that it was you that wanted a fresh start.

Getting married was our fresh start, wasn't it? I mean, if we can't live with

our memories here, we're not going to be able to do it anyplace else.

I never wanted to move.

Neither did I.

Yeah, I spent all last night crying myself to sleep because we were leaving

old house.

Well, I guess we'll just have to build a pool right here, huh, Dad?

How did all of this get started?

Eddie V and that creep Morgan Ames. Oh, now he's a creep. What is going on? I

don't want to talk about it. What do you care anyway? You're going on some fancy

cruise. I am not going on a cruise, Elizabeth, and I don't want to talk

that either.

Hey, Nancy, whatever happens, it's all going to work out, honest.

Listen, will someone please tell me what's going on around here?

Can't you see, Dad?

Nobody wants to move.

It's as simple as that.

That simple?

Oh. Well, I mean, if nobody wants to move, then we won't move.

I don't know how we're going to undo everything that we did, but that's

what we'll do.

Well, isn't it too late for that? Yeah. Dad, what about the circuit breaker? Do

you think they gave it back to us?

Silence!

Dankeschön.

My beloved wife wishes to make a statement.

Well, it looks like I've done it again.

I really didn't mean to interfere this time.

I just, uh... I just love you all very much.

You should have memories. And for all of you, they're here.

And here they'll stay.

Now, don't worry about the movers. We'll talk to them.

And I'll take care of Morgan Ames.

Oh, will I take care of Morgan Ames.

Now, Horst.

Okay.

All right, gentlemen.

You may begin.

ever so humble.

And cold again with the furnace out.

Don't worry. We're going to get a new one. And a new pool.

Yeah, I've got a friend who is a bulldozer. Really?

You know what? We could get Vivian to work it.

She just wants what's best for you, Tommy Bellybutton.

Well, don't start that. I can't stand it. It's so embarrassing.

Wasn't it romantic to see Horst and Annie B riding off into the sunset?

Yeah, that car was great.

Well, I'm going to... miss her. This may sound crazy, but I'm going to miss her,

too.

Nicholas! Where have you been?

Over at Freddie Ryan's. The furniture.

What should I do with this? I found it outside.

Oh, the soul sign.

I know what to do with this.

Follow me.