Original subtitles

On November the 9th, Abby and I are getting married. Dad, that's three weeks

away. Don't you think we ought to find out what they really want? I don't think

they know what they really want.

Black caviar here, and then in the center, an ice statue of the bride and

nude. No, Mom's not coming back.

Yes, she is. She's a good mother. Good mothers don't leave their kids forever

and ever.

Did you have a fight?

We just wanted this very simple wedding, and the kids planned this very

elaborate one.

Do you love Tom?

Yeah.

It's the first ingredient of a good marriage, and the rest is just hard

Oh, Mom, I really want work, but I just don't know what to do, you know?

Well, the only advice I can give you is make up the quarrel before you get

married.

I thought it was, um...

Make up the quarrels before you go to bed.

That too.

present if they elope?

Yeah, I guess so, as long as they're still getting married.

Do you know what your thing is yet?

Well... Not exactly.

Oh, okay, here comes Abby. Now you keep quiet and let me do the talking, okay?

Okay.

Abby, we'd like to talk to you. You're going to reload.

Nicholas.

Could you come into the house?

Look, I just came back to return Tom's car.

Could you just come into the house for a minute, please?

Well... Nicholas, go get Dad.

We've decided to keep our hands off.

It's your wedding, and if you want to elope, then you elope.

Of course, we'd like a wedding, but we'll just give it up.

The important thing is, we don't want to see you apart just because of us.

All right.

Well, if that's the way you feel about it, why don't you get out of here so we

can talk about it?

Okay. Oh, yay.

That's nice.

How are your folks?

They're fine.

What did you say to them?

Not much.

I cried a lot.

Oh, that sucks.

How's Elizabeth?

Oh, she won't even talk to me.

David says I should give her time to adjust to... to things.

Things? You mean me, don't you?

No, no, no.

I mean, I think that she would have reacted this way to whoever was going to

replace her mother.

Oh, Tom, if one of your kids runs away because you're getting remarried, well

then... Abby, I can't change my life because of Elizabeth. I love her very

but there are nine other people involved.

If I had just gone and got married and didn't make such a big deal out of this,

she probably would have accepted it. You think so?

Yes, I do.

Look, what do you say we elope?

Yes, we can get to Reno in two hours and be back in a couple of hours. Then the

whole thing will be done and over with. What do you say? Well, that's just it.

It's so done and over with.

You better tell me what you're thinking before we have another battle.

I was just thinking that the kids are awfully disappointed.

But they said it would be all right. They just said that because they were

afraid we wouldn't get married otherwise.

Tom, this wedding... Well, I mean, if there really is a wedding...

It's really for them. I mean, we've been married before.

And besides, I think it would be so nice for the kids to be at their father's

wedding. And, well, maybe it'll help them accept me a little more, too, you

know?

When you married Frank, was it a formal wedding?

It was the justice of the peace.

Mm -hmm.

You want a formal wedding, don't you?

I want you more.

Why not have both?

Could we?

But no caterer.

No affair by Keith.

Just a simple affair.

Small and dignified.

Right. I love you.

We're going to have the reception at home.

Yes, I know it's only six days before the wedding, but... No, I don't

think the country club is nicer.

Bigger, maybe, but not nicer.

Thank you.

What? Remind me never to have my wedding reception there. Who's next?

Keith.

You started the affair with Keith.

You finished it.

Hey.

You see, I was taught in the seminary to say something like, now, you two young

people, do you know what you're getting into?

But in this situation, it just doesn't seem to fit.

Something? Help me.

Uh -huh.

Well, perhaps you could just say, as you approach your middle years.

Middle years?

Hey, middle years.

I like that. Let me just make a note of that, okay?

Early middle years.

Now what?

Oh, let's see.

Perhaps you might say that, well,

we've both known love before.

You've both known love before?

Very good love.

Good love.

And, um... To base this love on that.

On that? Okay.

And to remember that love.

But to build our own together.

Together.

Our own together.

And to honor each other.

And to respect each other.

And in that love, to allow each other to grow independently.

Independently. Wait just a second. Let me get all of this. Okay.

Right.

Okay, wonderful. I think it's going to be a lovely wedding.

we should just write our own wedding ceremony.

Oh, I thought we just did.

Well, I just hope your Reverend Lowell is a little less shaky than young

Reverend Corbett. Oh, no, Reverend Lowell is an old pro.

How old?

Well, the gubernatorial inauguration of 1953, he swore in Goodwin Knight. Oh,

that was before my time.

Huh? Oh, yeah, sure was. Well, you can't blame a lady for trying.

What's the matter, Dad? Did you throw your back out?

Did you get a tuck?

Yes, the same one that I used to rent for $5 more than I used to pay. Come on,

we have to pick up your folks. Oh, just let me get the salad together first.

Why, isn't anybody helping you? Well, Tommy and Nicholas are cleaning up the

living room, and I don't know where anybody else is.

Would you get me two more tomatoes?

Yeah.

Well, they'll be your grandparents in a way, Nicholas, but actually they'll be

your step -grandparents.

It means don't expect the whole lot at Christmas.

Okay, boys, you're in charge.

What?

Look, nobody else is home. We have to go and pick up the Mitchells, so you

finish up, the two of you.

Finish what?

Oh, it's easy. You just turn off the oven at 5 .30, put the soup on to simmer

5 .45, and turn off the burner under the casserole at 6 o 'clock. And finish up

in here.

Oh, and set the dining room table.

Oh, and listen, Nicholas, if you have time, pick some flowers for the

centerpiece.

What's that?

The decorations for the middle of the table. We have to do all of that? Well,

anybody else comes home, grab her.

Hey, Nicholas.

You got any idea what time we're supposed to do all that junk in the

Nope. Let's see.

Put a fire in the casserole at six.

Hey, where are you going?

To pick some flowers for the thing in the middle of the table.

Maybe it was...

Put a fire under the soup at six.

Oh, well.

The point is, they are getting married, and you're not going to stop them.

I'm not trying to stop them.

I just don't want to have any part of it.

Sooner or later, you're going to have to move back in and live with Abby.

Why? I'm happy here.

Well, that makes one of us.

I moved away from the house because I wanted to live alone.

Okay.

Then I'll find someplace else to live.

Fine.

Just be sure to lock the door on your way out.

If you decide to hang around, don't wait up for me.

Are you here already?

This is our youngest, Nicholas. Nicholas, I want you to meet my mother

father, Mr. and Mrs. Mitchell. And this is my great -aunt.

She'd be your great -great -aunt. My Aunt Filty.

I thought all great -great -aunts were dead.

And I thought little boys were supposed to mind their manners.

Well, thank you, Mr. Lewis.

My pleasure, girls.

See ya.

Well, we were going to be late for dinner, so Mr. Lewis brought us by.

that nice of him?

Yeah.

Come on, Split.

Let's get out of our desserts and dress for dinner.

Okay, Maud.

Yes, we like it. So many of us, we really need something like this. But

come on in and relax.

I've arranged for a guide to take us all through the capital. You just name the

time whenever it's convenient for you.

Oh, now, that won't be necessary, Bradford. We've already made

do that.

Governor Brown, Pat, not Jerry, has asked his son to be our guide.

Oh, Jerry has... Jerry, I mean, the governor is going to...

Well, his father's a very old friend of mine.

How has Jerry been?

Oh, he seems just... Oh, I don't even know him. Either one of them, for that

matter. It's no great loss.

We haven't had a decent governor since Goody Night.

Ah, well, now, Goody Night.

Goody.

Well, I'm a fourth generation Californian.

And I'm fifth.

It makes me sixth, I guess.

Well, here we are. Not ashamed to admit that we are homegrown Californians. And

very proud to be.

That's wonderful. Good evening.

Look who's here. This is David, my eldest son.

This is Harry and Catherine Mitchell.

Hello. And this is Aunt Filty.

How do you do?

Oh, look what David has gone and done. He went and got some wine. Isn't that

nice? Right. A French burgundy. I figured tonight was too special for

California.

When are we supposed to turn this stuff off?

Oh, no.

What's happening?

Nicholas, Nicholas, go get Abby, okay?

Tommy, help me with the roast.

What's left of the roast?

Ah! Fire!

There's no fire.

The roast set off the alarm.

Oh, the roast!

Does anyone want a taco?

It's very California.

Ah! Oh, listen!

Ah, no.

Yes, again.

Ah, listen, Nancy.

You can steal these back after the shower, okay?

Dang it.

I thought you were Elizabeth.

I thought maybe she'd come back or something.

Nah, no chance.

You know, I called her, you know, to remind her about the shower.

She hung up as soon as she recognized my voice.

Same here.

Joanie, what are we going to do?

Nothing. Yeah, but Joanie, I... Just forget it.

I mean, she had the...

hang up about this, and I think only Dad can straighten it out.

Yeah, you're probably right.

But he's been so busy lately.

You know, if Mom were here, she'd know how to handle this.

If Mom were here, there'd be nothing to handle.

Yeah.

Hey, Joanie, can I borrow you? Let me get dressed first, okay? And then after

that, anything in my closet is up for grabs.

David's not here.

I came to see you.

Well, you've seen me. Now I've got to finish up some things, okay?

Wait, please.

You know how much you helped me out with my Halloween costume, right?

So? So I figured I'd owe you one. Here, it's my old panda.

His ear's about to fall off, but it still works pretty good.

Now I've got to go.

See you later.

Dr. Max, stay home. Come on.

It's time.

Yeah. Ta -da!

Are you ready? Let's go.

Oh, my Christmas.

Oh, Dad, you were supposed to finish. I know, but I'm having trouble with this

stalk. What is this stalk stuff, huh?

Hi. Doesn't Abby look pretty, Dad? Yeah.

Look at this wound.

It's going to be over us.

Look at the cake. The cake.

Behind you. Oh, the cake. The cake.

There's this little baby on the cake.

There's this baby.

What is this little baby?

Girls, this is... Oh, I don't know what, but...

Well, I love it.

Well, we figured since you were getting eight babies at once, a baby shower

would be the most appropriate.

Don't worry. They told everyone to bring wedding -type presents. Oh. Happy

shower. Oh.

Happy stag party.

Which we better be getting to.

Have a good time. You take care of her.

Bye, Dad.

Bye. Live it up, Papa.

Maybe we should just go to some little bar.

What? And miss our stag party?

Whose stag party?

Our stag party. I thought it up. Well, you're the one that's not going. You can

go to the shower.

But I've taken a shower. I want to go to the stag party.

And you're over 21.

But I thought this whole thing up. I mean, I made the plans. I finalized the

plans. I booked all of the... Entertainment?

But you see, stag parties are not good for a boy your age. They do things to

adrenaline.

I'll take some pictures.

I thought it was my stag party.

That's a great party, Greg.

When Tommy and I throw a party, we throw a party. Far.

Far out.

Who's that with David?

He insisted on coming.

Well, now, this reminds me of the Republican Convention in 1958.

What was it, 62?

Oh, goody. Ah.

She wants Ray out.

That is grapefruit juice and vodka.

Hey, how do you know those things, huh?

Oh, I picked it up in the book. I thought it may come in handy for my stag

party.

It'll come in handy here, so get going and hurry up, huh?

Does anyone around here know how to make a vodka giblet?

That's a gimlet. Yes, I've got it.

You think I pour too much of this stuff, huh?

Well, somebody's bound to want champagne, I hope.

Nicholas, what are you doing?

I'm filtering one through the screwdriver.

One screwdriver coming right.

This is the fertility god of an ancient African tribe. Use him in good health.

and gab on the phone.

The girl that told Mary will have to be... It's dark.

Gabby, there's a long -distance call for you. Who is it? I don't know. It's a

lady. Oh.

Skeeter days.

That's right. I made it myself.

Hello?

Dottie! Dottie, hi!

Oh, what?

Didn't you get my letter?

Oh, you didn't.

What are you doing in... london huh oh well that's that's great well see i'm

getting married too day after tomorrow and i was well i was hoping that you

could uh no i i uh i i guess i can't be your maid of honor either

huh yeah well great minds and all that yeah um listen the the best okay

i'll miss you i love you

Oh, Mary.

She

was

the prettiest thing you've ever seen.

Now, I have to give her to another man.

I sure hope you're going to be real good to my little girl.

No, no, it's David's turn.

Max, Max, can I speak to you for a moment?

Yeah. Is it serious? Very serious.

Talk to me later.

If you're a hacker and a TV watcher, two messages have been coming in.

First, the economy is suffering from a failure of business confidence.

Second, business...

Hi.

Could I talk to you?

Do you mind if I just turn this off?

I was watching something.

I think this might be a little more important.

Well, maybe it is to you, but not to me.

Elizabeth, I need your help.

See, my friend Dottie Gordon was going to be my maid of honor, but she can't.

fact, she's getting married the day after I am.

Seems to be an epidemic.

I came over here to ask you if, um... If you'd stand up for me.

Me?

Why me?

Um... Because, um... I'll never really be a part of this family until

you've accepted me.

You can't be my mother.

I don't want to be.

I'd like to be, um... I was going to say, um...

Your sister, but you have enough of those, huh?

Maybe, um... Maybe you could just think of me as a special friend.

You know, someone to lean on and to listen to you.

I'm an awfully good listener.

I don't need a listener.

You don't?

Well, I do.

Sometimes.

Like, um, right now.

Why?

Well, awful lot is happening to me, you know. I mean, all at once.

Pretty soon, um, I'm gonna be a married lady again, and, uh, I'm scared.

So am I.

I'll have eight kids all at once.

Well, I'll have a new, uh,

Special friend.

I really need you.

I guess I... I need you, too.

Will you, um, come back with me to the shower?

I didn't get you anything.

Elizabeth, all I want from you is you.

It just makes sense to do something.

Sure it does.

Look at old Bill.

I mean, eight kids is enough. Don't you think, Max?

Absolutely. As a matter of fact, you should have come to see me a couple of

ago. Look at your new father -in -law.

I said, Dina must be a wild town. No, no, no, no. I'm not afraid of the kids

that I already have. I'm asking about the kids that I'm going to have. No, no,

mean... I mean, I'm asking about the kids that I don't want to have.

I mean, there must be some...

Really fail -safe way. It is a fail -safe way.

But it takes to find out of being married.

Max, I need your help.

Max!

Tom, the only way to go is a vasectomy.

I was afraid you'd say that.

There's nothing to it.

I've done half the guys in this room.

May I have your attention, please?

It's time for my gift to you.

it must have been some party.

Oh. He's got some pictures.

Dad. Oh,

it's so cute.

I hate to ask you, but they forgot to pay me.

How much?

Fifty.

Fifty? Just a second.

Can you guys help me out here?

Is that enough?

Yeah, thanks.

Thanks. Oh, sure.

You're the bride, aren't you? Yes.

I just wanted you to know he's a perfect gentleman. You're a very lucky lady.

Thank you.

Good night.

Night.

Hey,

Abby!

How was the shower?

Oh, it was lovely. How was the stag party? Oh, I got so drunk. Oh, so I

But when I get sober... What?

I'm going to have a vasectomy.

It's my wedding present to you.

But I don't want it.

What'll happen with our little baby?

Well, not now, but what if I do someday, huh? Oh, what if? That's a good

question. You won't be upset if you don't have it.

Oh, no, I'll do anything you want to do.

Oh, Abby.

What?

Do you love me?

Very much.

Good.

Yes, I think I'm going to be sick.

Okay,

you can open.

I couldn't wrap it so good. You'll get the idea.

Go ahead, old man.

Yeah?

Fighting?

I give up.

It's your wedding gift. You mean you don't know what it is?

Swizzle sticks?

No, chopsticks.

Oh, of course.

Yes, chopstick. That was nice.

That's just what I needed.

Well, you see, it started out as a table, and then it was a chair, and then

turned into bookends, and the wood just kept getting smaller and smaller until

that was all I had left.

Oh, this is nice.

Abby and I can share them.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm going to go get another load of wood and make you

pair. Well, listen, don't worry. It's the thought that counts. This is nice,

Tommy. I like it.

Right. After all, what do you get the man who has nothing?

Why can't you sleep?

You're getting married.

That's my reason.

How are you?

I'm just trying to remember if I was this nervous before my first wedding.

Got this tick in my eye.

I guess getting married to somebody you love always makes you nervous.

I do love Abby.

And, of course, I'll always love Joan.

I'm just trying to figure if that makes sense.

Of course it does.

You and Mom had 25 years together. You don't just forget that.

I know.

Part of me feels like I'm betraying her.

Like I'm hurting Joan in some way.

How can something so right hurt anybody?

It is right.

I just wish it was over.

Yeah.

It's my wedding.

I know, but that doesn't change the rules that much. Just wait in line.

Why don't you wait in line for your own bathroom?

Yeah.

Nancy is in my bathroom.

What's taking Elizabeth so long, anyway?

Yeah, she's been in there ten minutes.

Let me handle this.

Elizabeth!

I just got into this wedding. I've got to catch up. Well, catch up on your own

time. Daddy, this is a special occasion for me, too. I want to look especially

beautiful for you.

Oh. You are beautiful, Elizabeth.

Oh, Daddy, you just ruined my makeup. Now I've got to start all over.

Boy, you really handled that one, Dad.

Listen, every time I talk to that girl, even when we agree, she winds up closing

the door on my face.

No.

Dad, telephone.

Oh.

Save my place. Uh -uh.

No saving.

Oh, where are you going?

Oh, no, no, no, not you. Somebody else.

You've got your pajamas on. Where are you going?

Across the street. They said I can use the bathroom.

Hello?

Uncle Henry, where are you?

At the Sacramento airport.

Oh, no, what?

Dad, they're bringing the tables and chairs in.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, gosh, that's wonderful, Uncle Henry.

Just sit tight. Don't make a move without me.

Right, you can't. I'll be right there.

Oh, listen, David, can you pick up Uncle Henry at the airport?

I thought you didn't invite Uncle Henry.

So did I, but I don't know. Can you?

No, I can't. I've got to pick up the cake after I finish this.

Oh, hi. Listen, can you pick up Uncle Henry?

No, Dad, I won't even get in the bathroom for another half an hour.

Uncle Henry?

Uncle Henry.

What are you doing with my doors?

You can't have doors between rooms at a reception.

Interrupts the flow.

But I just... Be careful with those now.

Where does this go?

Oh, the Sequoia National Forest.

Don't waste my time, man. I got too much to do.

There's a good place right there.

Oh, I'm Tom Bradford. Hello? I'm Tom Bradford, too.

Happy wedding to you.

Happy wedding to you.

Happy wedding...

That was Dr. Max. He's trying to deliver a baby before the wedding.

Gee, I'm sorry. I don't think I have anything on me.

Oh, no, that's okay, Dad. I'll take care of it.

Now, uh, what time do you get off work?

Tommy!

Tommy!

Where is everybody? Mary?

Nobody told me a thing. I didn't know they were all going.

Mary has to go pick up Abby and all those other people. And Johnny has to go

pick up that other mister guy. And David has to pick up the cake and stuff.

Hello, hello, hello.

Oh, Uncle Henry.

Oh, gosh, I forgot.

Well, listen, why don't you just take a cab?

Oh, no. Don't tell me I have to drive Abby's car.

Just a second, Dad.

Which minister's supposed to speak first?

Well, how should I know?

Well, they're fighting over it. Well, then tell them to toss a coin.

How do I look, all right? Oh, nervous.

Yeah, I should look nervous, because I am.

Come on, you guys. We're getting ready to start.

All right.

Is everyone out here ready?

Nicholas, do you have the ring?

Oh, my goodness.

Mr. Bradford, look, we've got to get down front now. Come on, okay?

Okay, you look fine.

I'm nervous about it. Remember, you've done this before.

Some things don't get easier with practice.

Just remember you're among friends.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here for the most wonderful and yet demanding of

institutions, the act of matrimony.

Both these people have known love before, and yet it is this past love on

they're going to base their future love to work and grow together.

They both know honor and respect, yet can remain independent and still

act as one when faced with the trials of life.

and the demands of family.

Tom, Sandra Sue, Abby, you both bring to this marriage a maturity that

will be your greatest tool.

This, combined with endless patience and compassion, will seal your destinies

and that of your children.

In times of stress, try to recall what first brought you two together and let

that memory be the touchstone of your decisions.

God bless you, Tom.

God bless you, Abby.

May I have the rings, please?

Tom?

Abby?

With this ring, I thee wed.

With this ring, I thee wed.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.