All language subtitles for Eight Is Enough s02e08 Children of the Groom 1

I have to be at school at quarter to
eight. I know, and I have an 8 .30

interview.

I'll sleep right through the alarm.

No, no, I'll call and wake you.

We really should call it a night. I
know, but I can't keep closing the door

this one every night.

Actually, I'm closing the door on you.

What can we do about this? There is a
way out, you know.

The suicide pact.

Yes, they say that marriage is a
civilized suicide pact. We have talked

marriage, you know. We actually did say
we were going to get married, didn't we?

Yes,

we did.

Well,

the question is when.

Oh, yeah, that's right. That always
comes up and messes it all up.

I know. How about two weeks from
tonight, November the 1st?

All right.

Good.

It's election time. I have to cover
them.

How about first weekend in December?

Oh, that's no good because the Board of
Education has a remedial reading program

and I have to give a speech. I
understand.

I understand. Later in December.

Oh, no, no, no. That's too close. Oh,
Christmas.

How about the 4th of July?

Thanksgiving. I promised my parents I'd
go home on Thanksgiving.

Oh.

You do want to get married, don't you?

Yes, don't you?

Yes, I do.

But boy, I don't know.

Every time I say something, you just
keep coming up with some kind of an

not to.

I do. You're the one who keeps turning
down dates. I think you're being very

negative. Negative?

I'm the one that's trying to... Back
out.

I think you're getting cold feet. That's
what I think.

November 9th.

Why November the 9th? Well, because
that's the only one we haven't rejected

already.

Okay. Okay.

Okay!

Tommy, don't eat so fast.

I've got to eat fast. My stomach's used
to it.

You too, Susan. Come on now.

Hey, I'm trying to get to school on
time, as you're always suggesting.

Bye, everybody.

I've got a hot date today. A hot date?
It's only 8 o 'clock in the morning.

Well, it's after breakfast before class
date.

No, no, but you shouldn't date on an
empty stomach. It's bad for the

Sit down.

What is this sudden fixation with food,
Dad?

Well, it's important, that's all. I
mean, you should have a big breakfast.

Good morning.

Morning. Anything left to eat?

See, David agrees.

Agrees to what? About food being
important. We should always start the

with a nice big breakfast.

Oh, well, you said to be here for
breakfast. Here I am.

Dad, why do I have the feeling that all
of this talk isn't about how fast we eat

breakfast? Yeah.

Come on, Dad, what's up?

I'm leaving. Nobody ever keeps Chris
Green waiting.

Wait, wait. Sit down.

Well, Abby and I wanted to say this
together, but she's not here and you're

running off, so I better just say it by
myself.

I shouldn't. I should wait and say it
with her. But what do you think I should

do? Say it now? Or should I say it with
her?

Say what?

I'm glad you asked.

On November the 9th, Abby and I are
getting married to each other.

Thank goodness.

It's about time.

I thought you'd never ask her.

Dad, that's three weeks away.

You sly devil, you.

Good morning.

Congratulations.

I get to be the maid of honor. No, I do,
I do. Oh, I'm sorry. I promised my best

friend, Dottie Gordon, when we were
little, we promised each other.

where are you going?

To feed my...

Congratulations. How did you

know?

Mary called me. Boy, everybody in the
building knows. What did you do? Issue

inter -office memo or something? Oh, no,
no. I did much better than that. I told

Thelma in accounting.

Yeah.

Ow. Why did I do that?

Dr.

Maxwell on the phone.

Oh.

Thank you.

How did you know I was going to
congratulate you?

How did you know I was getting married?

Joanie invited me to the wedding.

Listen, Tom, I can get you a great deal
on blood tests.

Now, look,

to start with, it was okay that you
invited Dr. Maxwell because naturally we

were going to invite him anyway. But
from now on, it would be nice if you

discussed it with us first. Yeah, I
know, I know, Devin.

to tell someone, you know, and I
couldn't tell him without asking him,

Yeah, that's right. But don't tell
anybody else.

See, we've decided it should be a very
small wedding. How small? Well, 20. 50.

Uh, 50. Or 20.

50. Oh, 50, 20, 50.

Of course.

But we just don't want to have a big mob
for the wedding. Oh.

See, we want it to be a very small, very
simple affair.

Really? Mm -hmm. After all, it's the
second time around for both of us. No

having a big extravagant wedding.

So what do you guys think?

All right, now here's what we'll do.
We'll have a nice small group at the

and a slightly larger group at the
reception.

But we could really use your help. Yeah,
it's not easy in order to fix up a

house like this for a reception. Hey,
Dad, don't you think that we should have

the reception outside of the house?

Oh, no, this house can hold 20 people. I
mean, 50 people.

I know, but just think of all those
people spilling drinks on the floor and

stomping out cigarettes.

And then who's going to clean it up?

Hey, Tom, I think Mary's got a really
good point. I mean, why worry about the

house? I'm sure we could find a small,
inexpensive room someplace, huh?

Sure, we could find one, but who has the
time? The wedding is in three weeks.

We'll take care of everything, Dad.

Really? You know how we are when we get
mobilized.

Yeah, I've seen you all in action.

All right, but nothing fancy. I don't
want any waiters running around in red

velvet jackets and crystal chandeliers.

No, I promise it won't be anything...

In bad taste.

Well, I'm going to keep you on a strict
budget.

Abby and I will take care of the liquor
and the invitations, and you kids can

take care of the reception.

But remember the two important words
now.

Small and dignified. Repeat it after me.

Small and dignified.

Small and dignified doesn't necessarily
mean tacky, right?

Joanie, don't you think we ought to find
out what they really want?

I don't think they know what they really
want.

So, I've taken the opportunity to jot
down a few ideas, okay?

All right, Susan, um, can you contact a
florist and get us some estimates on the

church? Yeah. Okay, great.

Um, Mary, could you find us a
photographer?

Will you settle for a moonlighting
intern?

Yeah, but just make sure he's good,
okay? All right, uh, David, can you

transportation? Joni, this isn't a
military invasion.

We have to move the wedding party from
the church to the reception hall. Well,

how about choppers with sign cards?

Come on, you guys. Let's help her out.
Yeah, come on.

Well, weddings aren't exactly our forte.

What?

Ignore them. Just ignore them. Come on.
I have a really important job for you.

Now, that's the hall. All right. Okay,
you go through the phone book, and you

look for reception halls, lodge halls,
hotel banquets, gymnasiums, anything you

can find. Wait.

Gymnasiums? Joanie, small, remember?

Yeah, small gymnasiums.

Okay, now for the shower. Elizabeth,
could you help me? No.

And then I won't need... No, I'm saving
you for the bridal car.

I can't drive a car.

No, don't drive it, Nicky. You know,
just decorate it, okay?

I can't. I don't even know what it is.

It's a revolting custom, and it's part
of a revolting ceremony that I won't

any part of. What's wrong with her?

And that goes double for me.

Oh, hi, Nicholas.

Listen, would you do me a favor?

Get me a little screwdriver. This is too
big, okay?

Oh,

thank you.

Well, one thing about weddings, it gets
you to fix up the place.

When will you be finished?

Well, in about 18 days, I hope.

Otherwise, I'll be doing this on my
honeymoon.

Will you have time to help me with my
costume?

What for?

Halloween. I want to be an orphan.

Oh, well, that's easy.

Just wear old raggedy clothes.

Will you help me?

Well, I can't now.

There's a loose draping rod in the
living room.

If Mom was here, she would help.

Or if she were busy, she would tell you
to do it yourself.

Would Abby help?

Well, if she would... Yeah, I know. If
she wasn't so busy.

Mom would help.

How much more?

Oh, I want you to do it right about to
here, but on both sides.

Both sides?

Mm -hmm. The same way.

Right to here.

Boy, when I was discharged from this
place, I never thought I'd be back doing

hard labor.

It's just for appearance sakes. We don't
want Abby to think she's moving into a

decrepit joint.

Oh, listen, what are you doing on
November the 9th?

The 9th? I'm going to your wedding. Why?

Well, I figured that if you do a good
job here, I might consider letting you

my best man.

Both sides of the house?

Both sides.

Right to here.

What's it for?

A present for Abby and Dad.

Huh. What's it gonna be?

I haven't quite figured that one out
yet.

I bet they won't like it.

Hello.

Here are all the liquor stores within a
radius of two miles.

Oh. Would you please tell me what you're
doing?

Hello, Donna. Hi. Yes.

I'm comparison shopping. This is to keep
my cost per unit down.

Yeah.

That's very scientific.

It's very interesting.

Let me explain.

Yeah.

You see, we're inviting 75 guests to the
wedding.

Now, that equates to 75 spending units.

Now, when you factor in liquor, food,
flowers, and miscellaneous costs, right?

Then you amortize the cost of the hall
over the 75 spending units.

Well, Doc, from the looks of these costs
per unit, I think you ought to do a

little real work, because I think you're
going to need the money.

All right, you take it.

Part -time counter girls at a pizza
joint.

No, no, no, that's too much work and not
enough money.

Oh, come on, Joanie.

We've got two weeks, and we sure can't
finance a wedding reception on our good

looks and charm.

Here it is. Look.

Part -time advertising, good -looking
girls, lots of charm. That's it.

Yeah, but what is it?

It's exactly what we've been looking
for.

All right.

I'll bring the rape whistle, and you get
the heavy tote bag.

Okay.

four to seven on weekdays, ten to six on
Saturdays.

Hours okay?

Yeah. Yeah.

How do you look in tights?

Great.

Both of us.

Okay. You're the split, you're the moat.
Three dollars an hour.

Well, you want the job?

Yeah.

No problem.

That is.

All right, Gloria will get your costume.
Tell her to send in the next girl.

And it's hokey.

Look, to you, maybe, but I haven't lived
yet.

I've got to start somewhere.

So, get engaged and start with your own
stag party.

If you want to knock yourself out for
Dad, be my guest.

But I'm telling you right now, he's not
going to get behind it.

Look, David, if you want to be that way,
that's fine. I can do everything

myself.

But would you please just do me one
favor before I go?

What?

Can you tell me where I can find a girl
and a cake?

Tell me. Sit down.

I think there's something you should
know.

I don't want this to come as a shock,
but... Dad isn't a 25 -year -old on his

first date.

He's over 40.

He's been married.

And he has eight kids.

He most definitely knows what it's all
about.

Obviously, he doesn't know everything.
He has eight kids.

Mary, he wanted eight kids. At least
that's the party line.

Well, supposing he wants eight more?

We don't have room for eight more. Yeah,
we don't have room for one more.

Especially if it's a girl.

Yeah, well, what if it's a boy? There's
no space in your room.

It won't be a boy.

We run to girls in this house.

Hey, you guys, this is really none of
our business.

And besides, Dad and Abbie are going to
do what they want to anyway.

Yeah, well, where does that leave us?

I don't know, but if it is a girl, she'd
better move in with the youngest

female. That's Elizabeth.

Yeah, well, then I'd have to move in
with Susan.

And then Joanie would have to move in
with Mary.

Yeah, and then if you get married, I
have a rule of my own.

Until the second baby.

Then Susan would move in with you, and
Elizabeth with Nancy.

Oh.

Yeah, then I'd have to get married.

Well, someone has to find out.

Spy on dad?

Not spy, actually.

Just... Find out.

David, we decided yesterday that you're
the logical choice.

What's so logical about me trying to
find out what's going on with Dad's sex

life? No, not the what of his sex life.

Just the results, huh?

David, consider Dad's sanity.

I mean, it's marginal with eight kids,
right?

Well, what do you think would happen
with nine?

But I can't tell Dad what to do with his
personal life.

Well, we don't want you to.

We just want to know, you know, what his
plans are.

Yeah, but do I come right out and ask
him?

We can't tell you how to do it, David.

I wish someone would.

Sure, I'll help you, Nicholas, but Dad
should have offered to.

He said he's too busy.

Everyone is.

Everyone's chasing around like crazy and
acting like Mom never existed.

She sure is going to be mad when she
gets home.

Nicholas.

Mom isn't coming home.

She might change her mind.

She can't, Nicholas.

Mom will come home if she could, but she
can't. Yes, she can, and you know it.

No, Nicholas.

No one can take Mom's place, but she's
not coming back.

Yes, she is. She's a good mother, and
good mothers don't leave their kids

forever and ever.

Excuse me, that was Dean.

Look, as I said before, I will not
bother with weddings of under 250

Oh, at the rate we're going, we're sure
to have more than that.

Maybe we better talk to Dad first,
Joanie.

Oh, absolutely not. I mean, he turned
this thing over to us, and we're going

do it right.

Well, I'll require a deposit right away.
I usually have more than 10 days to

plan my motif.

What kind of a hall did you say this
reception would be in?

Well, we're still not sure yet. You see,
I'm still looking.

We must decide quickly, mustn't we? We
do have tables to plan, don't we? This

a favorite of mine. This was used on the
Bel Air circuit last month.

Film stars.

Very big.

Flew me in in Frank's jet.

Now, I had a large salmon aspect at
either end of the table, black caviar

and then in the center, an ice statue of
the bride and groom, nude.

That might be too Hollywood.

Definitely to Hollywood.

Well, we could do the traditional bride
and groom.

How much does the traditional cost?

Well, two to four hundred dollars,
depending upon size.

What would you say to a traditional
orange blossom centerpiece?

I'd say find yourself another caterer.

That's what I thought you'd say.

Oh, excuse me, my phone.

Joanie. I think we'd better find out how
much all this is going to come to. I

know, but look, we'll be able to pull it
off.

We'll just, we'll cut down on the flower
budget and the hall rental to make up

the difference, huh?

You're the boss.

Harry Richardson. Who is Harry
Richardson?

Who are all these people? They're from
my parents' list.

They wanted to invite more, but I held
them back to a hundred.

A hundred?

Oh, they also wrote and wanted to know
if we would use a friend of their

minister's from Pasadena, a Reverend
Corbett. No, no.

Reverend Lowell is our family minister.
We're getting married in his church.

We'll use them both.

Oh, boy, your family's really getting
into the act.

Well, the wedding does traditionally
belong to the bride's family.

So why is the groom's family doing all
the work?

Oh, Tom, you're going to get along great
with them. You know, they're coming in

a few days early, and I thought we could
fix dinner for them here.

We're not very Pasadena posh.

That was uncalled for. I'm sorry. It's
just that I don't know. Your family

sounds like long -distance trouble.

I wouldn't worry too much about long
-distance trouble if I were you.

Why?

Because we've got some right here at
home.

Huh? Why? What do you mean, why, why?

Well, I didn't want to tell you because
I didn't want you to get all worried or

anything. What, what, what?

Well, it's Nicholas and Elizabeth.

What about them?

Neither one of them will talk to me.

What's it going to be?

Well, I'm not quite sure, but it's going
to be a wedding present for Abby and

Dad. You never made a wedding present
for Mom and Dad.

But I wasn't even around.

Nicola?

I'm busy.

Oh, and listen, I want to talk to you. I
said I'm busy.

It's important.

Elizabeth,

could you put the book down?

It's homework.

Well, I just want to talk to you for a
moment.

I've been so busy with the wedding plans
and everything, I didn't realize that

you're not as excited as everybody else.

Yeah, well, I guess I've just been kind
of involved with other things.

Something wrong, Elizabeth?

Not with me.

Okay, then with whom?

What are you asking me for?

Because I think you know.

Come on, don't play games with me.

What's wrong?

Nothing's wrong, okay?

And if everyone will just leave me
alone, I'll be fine. Is that too much to

No, that's a fair request.

Thank you.

Now, can I please get back to my
homework?

Please.

Really dumb, Joan.

Pretend you're lying on a plate and you
feel this ice cream melting down

around you.

It's pure method acting.

Now, what's your motivation?

Three dollars an hour.

You'll never be an actress again.

Stop by for dessert at the Sweet Tooth
Dessert Shopping.

Yeah, you'll love it. Oh, come on, let's
just get into it. Come on, you're a

banana split.

Tony, I just don't feel like a banana
split. Well, it's all in your attitude.

Here, watch me.

Hi.

Stop by for dessert at the Sweet Tooth
Dessert Shop.

This stuff's poison.

Refined sugar, starch, cholesterol?

No, thank you.

Where'd it go, Moe?

Best place in town.

Oh, yeah?

You work there?

Well, not exactly.

Bye.

Bye.

Flirty is not what I meant by
motivation.

Well, Johnny, you play it your way and
I'll play it mine and we'll just see who

gets rid of more of these.

A wedding?

Yeah, my father's getting married.

Your father's getting married. That's
very cute.

For the second time.

Oh, well, if at first you don't succeed.

Mr. Corelli, you see, I need to find a
place for the reception, and my price

range is kind of limited, so... Yeah,
all right. Now, we don't generally rent

out the gym for non -competitive sports.

But maybe we can make an exception.

The season tickets are down this year.
The Muskrats are having a tough season.

I lost three seniors this year.

My center's got knee problems.

And would you believe it? We lost two
games in overtime.

I mean, we're up by five, right? We have
the ball. A minute and 30 to go on the

clock. Mr.

Corelli.

Yeah, all right. Okay, when did you say
the date was? November 9th.

November... Oh, Lord, it's a big game
with St. Francis Academy, 8 o 'clock.

Oh, Lord.

Wait, hold on a second.

Maybe we can work something out here.

What do you mean?

How many people you got coming to this
wedding?

About 400.

400 times.

I got a terrific idea.

Terrific. We give you the gym and we get
400 times. Mr. Crowley, what are you

talking about?

You can be the halftime show.

Mr. Corelli. No, no, why not? We'll
supply the band, the crowd.

Hey, I'll throw in a couple of
cheerleaders, huh?

Hey, come on back. I was only kidding.

No, I wasn't.

I think you kids are doing a great job.

Matter of fact, I think all couples
should let their children handle their

weddings.

Well, what can I do for you, Tommy?

Nothing medical, I hope.

Oh, no, no.

It's just that, well...

You know, this is Dad's wedding, and the
girls are giving Abby sort of a shower.

Well, Dad may feel neglected.

Tommy, you're not suggesting we give a
shower to the groom, are you? Oh, no,

no, no, but... Well, do you remember
when you first got married?

Well, it was 25 years ago.

Well, frankly, I guess it is getting a
little blurry.

No, what I mean is, didn't your friends
sort of get together and...

Oh, now I see what's on your mind.

You were suggesting a bachelor party,
right?

Right.

Tommy, you son of a gun. That is a
terrific idea.

Terrific. Oh, I don't know. It's hard to
tell with Elizabeth.

I mean, she says everything is all
right.

With her, that usually means that
everything isn't all right.

She's a very sensitive girl.

I remember once she was edgy for a few
weeks, and we all thought maybe she had

blow -up with her boyfriend or
something, but that wasn't it.

She was worried about a little pen pal
down in Columbia, a little girl that she

had never met. She was worried that she
was injured in an earthquake.

Tom, you don't think it's me, do you?

Oh, no, Abby. She loves you.

All the kids do.

Yeah, I know, but I mean...

I was never really a threat to their
mother's memory until now.

No, that's not it at all.

She's 16 years old.

Everything at that age is a trauma.

She'll snap out of it.

Just leave her alone. Everything will be
all right. Okay.

Hey there, champ.

You better get cleaned up before
bedtime.

You're looking for Nicholas. He just ran
past me.

Anybody home?

No. I can't talk to you this way,
Nicholas.

I don't want to talk.

But I do.

I need to.

Please? Go away.

All right, I'll talk to you this way.

As a matter of fact, I've been meaning
to talk to you ever since yesterday

afternoon, but I just haven't been able
to find you.

I've been so busy planning this wedding
that...

haven't been much help with Halloween.

And if you've had a problem, I haven't
noticed it, I guess, and I'm sorry about

that.

But, Nicholas, that doesn't mean that I
stopped loving you.

I love you very much, and nothing will
ever get in the way of that.

You know that, don't you?

This has been a happy time for me,
Nicholas.

I've been very lonely.

And I know that you kids miss having a
mother, too.

I have a mother.

You had the best of all mothers,
Nicholas.

The very best.

But she's gone now.

She's coming back.

She can't come back, Nicholas.

Yes, she can.

Good mothers don't leave their kids
forever and ever.

She hasn't left you, Nicholas.

Not completely.

We've still got our memories of her.

She'll always be a part of us.

She always will be, Nicholas.

But that's not enough.

Nicholas, I know how you feel.

We both miss Mom very much.

But she's gone, son. She's gone for
good.

Won't Mom be mad if you marry Abby?

No.

I don't think so.

I think she'll be happy.

Because she knows that it's going to
make me happy.

And you know what?

I think Mom will be happy because...
Well, she'll know that Abby is kind of

filling in for us as a substitute.

She knows how much you need one.

How much we both do.

So listen.

Come on down out of that tree before the
neighborhood runs out of candy.

After Nicholas and I canvass the
neighborhood, Nicholas goes straight

kitchen, goes right to Abby, and he
offers to screw this candy with her.

in half. Right down the middle.

I tell you, I think they're going to
grow to be very close. Don't you?

Don't I what?

Oh, gosh.

Drink your beer.

Sorry, I was thinking about something
else. Well, if you can think about

anything outside of this wedding, you're
the only sane member of the family.

I was thinking about the wedding, sort
of.

Sort of?

Yeah, I was wondering what you intend to
do afterward.

Oh, I'm not telling where the honeymoon
is or when.

I don't want to know.

Well, what then?

Well, uh... All the kids were wondering,
uh... After Abby moves in...

Yeah?

Well, uh... What are you gonna do about,
um... About, uh...

Sleeping arrangements?

Oh!

I'm not giving up the left side of the
bed.

What are you trying to say?

I'm not supposed to be saying anything.
I'm supposed to be finding out.

Finding out what?

Look, if this is supposed to be a father
and son talk, isn't it supposed to be

the father that initiates it, not the
son?

Yeah.

But it's not the son that's getting
married.

Oh, I see.

Well, all right, then I'm ready. I'm
listening. Go ahead. Tell me.

All right, well, we... All of us.

Are you and Abby going to have more
kids?

Well, uh... I don't know.

Okay, that's what I was supposed to find
out.

I have to... get back to work.

See you later.

Hello? Yes, this is the Bradford
residence.

No, Joni and Nancy aren't here right
now. Who's calling?

An affair by Keith?

Look, Mr. Keith, I don't know anything
about your arrangements. So what?

How many people did you say?

Sounds like a very glamorous affair.

You know, I was going to suggest that
you wait until my sisters got home, but

now I think it would be much better for
you to talk to my father. He'd love to

hear your plans.

Uh, yeah, that's right. Thomas Bradford,
Sacramento Register.

No, don't call.

I think you should talk with him in
person.

Goodbye.

Better wear your crash helmet, Keith.

Stupid.

Yes?

Look, I told you that I would let you...
No.

I will not wear an aquamarine
cummerbund.

Listen, I just finished talking to you.
I said I'd let you know.

Well, if I wasn't talking to you, who
was I talking to? Isn't this bridal

rentals?

Satin and lace rentals? I never heard of
you.

No, I never had an affair by Keith.

Who's Keith?

A caterer?

I never hired a caterer.

Affair by Keith.

Did you hear that?

No. No, I never listen to your phone
calls. Some woman calls up and says, I

represent Keith, and we're having an
affair or something. I don't know.

What do you want?

He's here.

Keith. Keith? You don't want to talk to
him, right? Oh, wrong, wrong.

Hiya, Keith. Who hired you? And you're
fired.

I was hired at this gig by two young
women, Ms.

Joni and Nancy Bradford. Now, they did
leave me a deposit, but when they called

back and...

Said to add tables for an extra 75
guests. Well, I do need a bigger... 75

guests? Yeah, well, that's in addition
to the 400 they originally ordered. 400?

And 75.

475 people? Yes, so, Mr. Bradford, I
don't think one tent will be enough. I

think you need two. Two tents?

Listen, Buster, this is a wedding, not a
circus.

Abby, I will not put up with this. With
what? I am not having an affair by

Keith. An affair?

Oh, that's what? With Keith?

With Tom or Dick or Harry or Keith.

I've already ordered.

Well, an order.

Well, I'll have to talk to the two young
women. No, no. I'll speak to the young

women. Well, it would be a shame to
cancel everything.

Could be a wild scene.

Oh, it's going to be a wild scene.

I don't even know who to talk to.

Why do you stand there looking at me?

An affair by Keith.

Okay, that's the show.

Now, the reception.

Nancy, how's the hall coming?

Well, um, Dr. Maxwell said that he could
probably get the golden room at his

country club. Oh, great, the country
club. Okay, look, now, has anybody

to David about transportation?

Yes, he was planning on using our two
family cars, his van, and he hired three

limousines. Um, you better tell him to
make that an even four. And Susan, how

are you doing with the orchestra?

Oh, we got that one Keith suggested.

It's ten musicians playing 19 different
instruments, and they can do it all from

rock to waltz. Great, great, that's all
we... Is that Dad?

All right, I want to talk about Keith.
Keith, how did you find out? I found out

all right. You really should have told
us. Abby, we wanted to surprise you.

Well, that was some surprise.

But we did tell you that we wanted a
simple wedding, right? Yeah, but we were

going to have a ten -piece orchestra.

A ten -piece orchestra?

Dad, they play 19 different instruments.
I gave Keith a deposit.

You lost your money.

Oh, Tom, you can't do that to them.
Daddy, you can't do that.

It's all I had.

That's not my problem.

But they meant well. They should have
asked.

But they didn't, so we... They're my
kids!

There won't be any wedding.

What? There won't be any wedding.

Willie Lope.

Maybe we should just call it off
altogether.

Do you mean that? Do you want to call it
off?

I don't know. Maybe we should.

Yeah, maybe we should.

No, what I mean is, look what's
happening to us. I mean, we were

each other in there a minute ago, and
the kids are heartbroken, and it just

seems that we start out trying to get
married, and we end up breaking up your

entire family. I mean, if this is any
indication of what kind of marriage this

is going to be, well, then... Then what?

Then we're in trouble.

Yes?

Elizabeth is there.

What do you mean she doesn't want to
come home? You tell her she has to come

home. It's Elizabeth. She's at David's
and she won't come home. Will she talk

me? Will she talk to me?

Well, can you?

I don't know what to do.

All right.

Thank you, David.

Goodbye.

Abby. What the devil?

I guess you didn't fix it, Dad.

Yeah, she's over at David's place.

What's she doing there?

I don't know.

Dad, I know that we should talk about
this more, but Joni and I have to get to

work. It's about 3 .30. Yeah, 3 .30. My
parents' plane landed an hour ago. What

are you going to tell your folks? I
don't know.

Well, Abby.

They're not going to all fit in my car.

Oh, all right, here. Why don't you take
mine? Okay.

I mean, all we wanted to do was make the
wedding beautiful.

Now that we've messed things up, we
don't have to worry about a wedding.

Daddy wants the elope.

What's elope?

It means you sneak out the window on a
ladder.

It means, Nicholas, that they don't want
to get married with all of us around.

They run away.

From who?

From us.

Hey, look.

The most important thing is that they
love each other and they want to get

married.

We've got to let them know that we want
it, too.

And we won't be upset if they elope.

How about we plan a reception for when
they get back, huh?

Joanie.

Oh, little one?

It's not Patrick Ewing.

It's the state capital, Filty.

They had to put it someplace.

Oh, uh, Filty, I have a surprise for
you.

You and I are going to hire a cab and
take an unguided tour of the city.

You don't have to patronize me.

I know Catherine and Sandra Sue want to
be alone.

Eight children.

In this day and age?

Oh, Mom.

You look so good. But you don't. I was
expecting a glowing bride.

Shows, huh?

I'm afraid it does. What is it? What's
happened?

Can't Dottie be your maid of honor?

Mom, I don't think we're going to get
married.

What?

Did we send too large a guest list?
Yeah, but that's not it.

Did you have a fight?

Yeah, but not before C. It was after.

After what?

Oh, after we found out what the kids
were doing.

Sandra, sir, I'm getting very confused.

We just wanted this very simple wedding,
and the kids planned this very

elaborate one.

As a surprise.

Yeah, was it ever.

And see, one of the girls is very upset
about the whole thing, you know, and so

she ran away from home.

Look at me.

Do you love Tom?

Oh, Mom, after Frank, I... Well, I never
thought

I'd ever love anyone else, and then I
met Tom, and he's just...

Well, he's so sweet, and he's just so

kind. Well,

that's not it. The usual words just
don't say it right, you know?

It sounds like love.

Oh, yeah.

It's the first ingredient of a good
marriage, and the rest is just hard

Oh, Mom, I really want work, but...

I just don't know what to do, you know?

Well, the only advice I can give you is
make up the quarrel before you get

married.

I thought it was make up the quarrels
before you go to bed.

That, too.