Original subtitles

Hey, Nicholas, what are you reading?

A book.

Pretty big book, isn't it?

Yeah, well, I figured big books make you smart.

William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream. Where did you get that?

Johnny's room.

Well, how far into it are you?

Well, only the first page.

Well, that's pretty tough going, isn't it? I mean, there's no pictures.

Nope. Dad, is Hyperledo, is that a good guy or a bad guy?

Oh, well, William Shakespeare didn't always have good guys or bad guys, but

Hippolyta was queen of the Amazons.

The who?

The Amazons. They were a group of women warriors, and she was like their chief.

Oh, like Wonder Woman.

Yes, sort of, right.

Boy, they ought to put this Shakespeare guy on television.

Read the decks. I'm very late.

Do you mind? I'm extremely late.

Sure. Go ahead, Dad. It's sugar poppies with cinnamon banana.

Be kind and courteous to this gentleman.

Hop in his walks and gamble in his eyes.

Feed him with apricots and dewberries, purple grapes, green figs and

What is it this time? Ophelia?

No. Titania.

A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Oh, well, then you should talk to Nicholas because he's been reading it.

wondered where my book went. Nikki, I've been looking all over for it. I put it

back. I didn't like it.

Did you get the part, Tony?

No, not yet.

I'm auditioning for it this afternoon.

Are you nervous?

I'm nervous?

Oh, no.

It's only a part.

Why am I nervous?

I hope I'm not first.

I'll die if I'm first.

Would you sit down and eat, please? You're making me nervous. No, no. I

eat before an audition.

I mean, if you want to roll badly enough, you've got to be hungry for it.

Boy, what a way to make a living.

Tommy, this is art.

Sounds more like punishment to me.

Are you going to play Wonder Woman? No, Nicky. See, Titania is the queen of the

fairies, and she lives in this magical forest.

See, the whole play is like...

It's like a dream.

Very spacey and ethereal. And it's like... Well, before you leave us for

ethereal, would you be sure that you fill the car up with gas?

No, I'm only kidding.

Good luck. I'm rooting for you. Really.

Who was that masked man?

That's what gooseberries and doofus.

I think it's a happy play.

All about the hilarity of love.

Hey, how many of you ever caught the movie on TV?

It's fun, right?

Yet I'm sure I don't have to remind you that this is live theater.

There is no cutting room floor.

But take heart.

The People's Playhouse is our place to make mistakes.

To hone our craft.

To dig deep inside ourselves.

To explore our feelings, our emotions.

Our love.

Okay, now, let's have some readings.

First of all, for the role of Titania, queen of the fairies.

Now, we need someone with the ability to hide in acorn cups, who dresses in

garment fashioned of bat wings, and who wears a pearl necklace made from the

drops of dew.

Anyone qualified?

Our first victim, Karen Coughlin.

Ah, and here's the tricky part.

Instead of ricotta, we use... Ta -da!

Cottage cheese!

Because he's on a diet.

Give the lady two chili peppers because he's on a diet. That's good.

You ready?

Oh, me?

You. Oh, okay.

Right here.

Okay, so first the sauce, so it won't stick to the bottom, and then the

Right. And then the cottage cheese. Wrong. Oh.

The mozzarella.

Oh. Yeah, the mozzarella. Okay.

Abby, is there anything wrong? You seem kind of distracted.

Yeah? Oh.

Well, I got a letter today from my former father -in -law, Walter Abbott,

he's coming to Sacramento on business, and he wanted to see me.

So?

The man is a widower, and he's all alone in the world, and since Frank died, I'm

the only family he has left.

I still don't see the problem.

The problem is I haven't told him yet that I'm engaged.

You haven't told him you're engaged?

Abby, you're going to tell him, aren't you? Of course I'm going to tell him. I

just, you know, I have to find the right moment.

See, he's never really adjusted to Frank's death, and whenever I see him,

always so...

Emotional, you know.

Look, why don't you take him to lunch, tell him the truth, and bring him here?

We'll make him feel at home, Abby.

Yeah.

Okay.

Believe me, there's enough family to go around here.

That's for sure.

Don't worry.

It'll work out, okay?

Hey, thanks, Mary.

I don't know what I'd do without you, you know.

Yeah, probably so.

Hey, Dave, wait a minute.

What's up, Freddy? Listen, you interested in any jewelry?

Jewelry? Yeah, see, my old man's selling his jewelry store and going out of

business. I can get you anything you want at a fantastic discount.

You need a watch?

No, I got one. You planning on getting engaged, married?

Not if I can help it.

Petty man, he's got a dynamite collection of rings.

Well, thanks anyway, Freddy.

I'll keep it in mind. All right, you do that, Dave. You like the prices, man.

The part. The part of what, Joanie? In the play. I'm Titania.

Didn't Titania think of the North Atlantic or something? An iceberg, you

No, no, no. See, Titania's the queen of the fairies.

Oh,

you guys are putting me on, are you?

Putting you on what, Joanie?

You're impossible. Forget it. Joanie, come back. We're just kidding. Yeah,

on. Congratulations.

Congratulations?

About what?

Do you think she's upset?

Upset? About what?

The moon, methinks, looks with a watery eye.

And when she weeps, weeps every little flower, lamenting some enforced

Tie up my love's tongue and bring him silently.

All right, all right, everybody take five. That was awful.

Titania and the fairies, flying over here.

You want me to turn in my wings?

Jonah, you've got the talent.

Look, we've been working on this for a week.

We're supposed to be in the fairy world, the magical, mystical forest.

Not East Sacramento.

We're just not there.

No.

We're supposed to be in this romantic and irresponsible place. I just don't

how to get there.

You're right.

You're right. We need to be light and airy.

Mischievous.

The whole play hinges on it.

What... What if I played it like, um... Like I was sleepwalking, you know? Like

just my naked soul enjoying a romp through the purity of the forest.

That's it.

What's it?

The naked soul.

Huh?

Why didn't I think of it before?

Of course.

I'm sure that's how Shakespeare intended it.

The fairy court.

Light.

Unencumbered by realism.

Stripped of worldly cares.

Mark.

Shakespeare in the nude?

It was just one scene, the opening of Act Three.

But it's critical.

And then what do you think I should do?

I think you should give me that ice cream. You're on a strict diet.

I can help you get into shape. You need some sit -ups. No, Susan, that's not

what I'm asking you.

I want to know if this is the right thing.

Well, Joanie, that's for you to decide.

You really helped the play.

Besides, you know, if I didn't do it, I'd be letting the rest of the cast

They've already agreed to do it.

They'd have to recast Titania.

Get the rest of the cast, Joanie. What do you think?

That's just it. I don't know what I think. I'm all mixed up about it.

Well, look, why don't we just get up late and see how you feel about it in

morning?

Okay. Good night. Okay.

Good night.

Good night.

Hey, Susan, if I do decide to do it...

How do you think Dad'll take it when he finds out?

He'll freak.

I know.

I just don't think I can bring myself to tell him.

Well, if you don't tell him, he won't freak.

Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?

Oh, no, not me. I'm just talking in my sleep.

If I hear one more whistle, I'm gonna deck die.

David!

Oh, David, it's you!

What's the matter? You don't like my friends?

Oh, sure, I love guys like that. That's why I go to the zoo so much.

Well, so what's up?

Oh, well, um... Well, see, David, I've got this, um...

Well, what I mean is that I've been asked to... Well, see, David, this is

is. I mean, we.

Well, I don't mean Susan and me, we. I mean, me and a few others have been...

You want to try?

Yeah, Joni's got this part in a people's playhouse.

Oh, I heard. Congratulations.

That's the big time.

Yeah, and she's thinking of playing a scene in the nude.

You're kidding!

David!

Boy, that's some publicity stunt.

David, it's not a stunt.

And I didn't come here for a lecture or anything. I just want to know if you

think I should tell Dad.

All right.

Well, here's what I think.

I mean, Dad's always prided himself on openness and honesty.

It's a Bradford tradition.

I mean, you've heard him.

If you've got a problem, come to Daddy.

The lines of communication are always open.

If you try to see it my way, I'll bend over backwards to try to see it your

Et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, so you think I should tell him?

Of course not. He'll freak.

Oh, thank you, David. I knew you'd help.

Hey, do me a favor.

Yeah, anything.

When you're done not telling Dad, don't tell me.

I don't want to know.

Oh, thanks.

If any of you can talk me out of it, speak now or forever hold your peace.

Hey, what are you guys doing here? Oh, that's what we'd like to know.

Oh, good, Tommy. I want your opinion, too.

Joni's going to do a nude scene on stage.

She what?

Oh, yeah, that's great. Great. Oh, come on, Tommy.

I'm trying to be a serious actress, and a serious actress will do anything to

help the role.

Well, I bet you Doris Day wouldn't do it.

Tommy, if I thought I would help the scene, I'd do the thing on roller

Yes, Joanie, but roller skates don't exploit the female body.

This is my first real chance to be seen.

Oh, you ain't kidding.

Yeah, think of the exposure.

Joanie, some people, even some liberal people, don't go for public nudity.

What she's trying to say is that most people just don't dig it. And most

undress in the dark.

Yeah. I mean, so the people that don't dig it just shouldn't buy a ticket,

right?

Look,

you know, lots of actresses have taken their clothes off before.

Not to mention the Royal Ballet and shows on public TV.

Right on.

Hey, you guys, I mean, this is 1977, right? She has nothing to hide.

Right off. I tell you what, why don't you send me an 8x10 glossy for my

I'll see you.

I'm not mad.

Hey, Nicholas, did you understand what this powwow was all about?

Joanie's gonna do porno.

Hi, Daddy.

Hi.

What the devil are you doing? I'm brushing my teeth. Mr. Schrader's

take my algebra exam over so I can't be late.

Hi, Daddy.

Oh, hi.

What are you reading?

I'm reading Joanie's play. This is a marvelous play. I'm really looking

to seeing it. Listen to this.

Captain of our fairy band, Elena is here at hand.

And the youth, mistook by me, pleading for a lover's fee.

Shall we their fond pageant see?

Lord, what fools these mortals be.

What do you think?

Don't call her.

We'll call you.

What fools these children be.

That's good.

Hope I'm not interrupting anything important.

No, no, hiya, David. No, no, you're not interrupting anything. I'm just talking

to myself.

Oh, one of those mornings, huh? Yeah, turning into one. What brings you around

here so early?

Dad, have you thought about giving Abby an engagement ring?

Oh, well, yeah, actually, I have thought about it, but, I mean, that's a lot

cheaper than actually buying one. Oh, not necessarily.

What would you say to a blue -eyed, one -carat diamond engagement ring?

I don't know.

I've never talked to one before.

You would if it only cost $300, wouldn't you?

$300? Oh, yes, that's cheap. I mean, don't they cost about $1 ,500?

That sounds like a real deal.

Deal nothing. It's a steal.

A guy at work's father's going out of business.

Everything must go.

I'm going to see the ring this morning. If it looks good, are you interested?

Yes, definitely.

Call me at the office. I'll dig up the money. All right. See you later.

Sounds like a classy rock.

But then, you're a classy guy.

I'm talking to myself again.

Come in.

What do you think?

I think it's great.

I still can't believe it.

Tell me, when you're rich and famous, will you still remember my name?

Oh, don't be silly. Of course I will.

Laurie,

but really, I can't chat now.

I've got to go out and put up the rest of these posters.

Ta -ta.

Ta -ta.

Up here!

Hi. Hi.

How'd it go?

Okay. Not so okay.

Come on in my room. Let's go.

Well, what happened?

I didn't tell him.

You didn't?

Abby. I tried, but every time I tried mentioning Tom, Walt would bring up

And I just couldn't. I guess I'm just not strong enough to do it by myself.

Well, okay. Why don't you invite him here for dinner tonight and he can meet

and you... I can't. He left town and he won't be back till next Friday.

Friday?

That's the 4th, isn't it?

Yeah, why?

Looks like we have a little conflict of interest, doesn't it?

Oh, boy.

Where are you going? To confession.

But I didn't know you were. I'm not.

It is the opinion of this reporter.

That's no good.

It is the, uh... It is the feeling of this reporter. It's soft and it's

It is the... Beyoncé of this reporter?

Beyoncé of this reporter.

Oh, oh, hi.

Hi. How's it going? Oh, well, not bad, actually. I was making this powerful

driving point, and right in the middle of it, I forgot what it was.

Do you want me to come back later?

No, no, no, of course not.

How about a drink? I have some additional powers in the bottom drawer.

During business hours?

Oh, why not? I mean, every newsman keeps a bottle in the bottom drawer. Like Lou

Grant, it goes with the image. Actually, this bottle is older than Nicholas,

but... What's the matter?

Oh, nothing much.

Yeah, yeah, there's something. I have a confession to make, and then I have some

bad news.

Oh?

Well, why don't you give me one now and one tomorrow?

Oh, I wish I could. I can't. See, Tom, I never told you about my father -in

-law, Walter Abbott.

When Frank was still alive, he and I were very close, and, well, we've stayed

touch during the years, and, well, we had lunch together today, and...

And what?

Well, I was going to tell him about you and I getting married, and I didn't.

Oh? Well, why didn't you?

I don't know. We got to talking about Frank, and it just didn't seem to be the

right moment.

Well, I don't see what your ex -father -in -law has to do with you and me.

Because he's a part of me, that's what, and he's very important to my life.

All right. Well, we'll go out to dinner some night, and I'll meet him, okay?

Oh, remember I told you there was another part.

Another part.

Oh, oh, the bad news.

Yeah? I know what it is.

What? He's a vegetarian.

No, that would be a good part. No, see, he flew to Portland today, and he won't

be back until next week, and only for one night.

Oh. Well, all right. If it's that important to you, I'll make myself

any night you say.

Well, that's just it. The one night is October 4th. That's the night of

play. It's the only night.

Oh, I just came by to see how everything was going.

A concerned parent on the prowl, no doubt.

Hey, it's nine o 'clock. Do you know where your children are?

How are the rehearsals going?

Oh, great.

Just great.

Great.

Joanie, I have to talk to you.

About what?

About the play.

You see, I found out something today that came as a complete surprise.

Uh, Dad. Let me finish.

Abby came by the office and dropped a bombshell.

Abby? Uh, how'd she know? Well, what it was was a complete lack of

communication.

You see, I should have been told earlier.

Dad, I'm sorry.

You're sorry?

No, I'm the one that's sorry.

I feel terrible.

Terrible? Yes, I can't come to see the play.

You can't?

You can't?

No, I have to go out to dinner with Abby's father -in -law.

He'll only be here for one night, and it's a long story.

That's all right, Dad.

I understand, really.

Thank you.

You're a real trooper.

Don't you worry.

I'll make it up to you.

Thanks. Can I get you? Hi.

Somebody up there like, oh, thank you, Abby's father -in -law, whoever you are.

Could I just have a little bite, please? Just one bite?

Titania, be strong.

The play is tonight.

You're right.

I'll starve for today, but tomorrow I'm going to eat everything.

That's the spirit. Good morning. Good morning.

Are you still going through with that?

Oh, relax, Tommy.

Nobody makes a big deal about nudity anymore.

Oh, yeah, that's why Playboy's hit the big flop.

Ah, it's puberty once again rearing its ugly head.

I'm so looking forward to Tommy's adolescence. And we're getting so tired

yours.

They don't ever have sisters. They're a drag.

Oh, did you see the game Sunday? Yeah, I'm sure glad they're letting him call

his own plays. Sure, put his knee and don't give out. He's still got a good

Hey, Bradford, I know all about your sister.

Yeah, I'm really glad to hear that, Lenny. Hey, Steve, he's glad to hear

I wonder how he'll feel after we see the play.

Look, Lenny, will you just shut up?

Tell your sister I'm ready.

All right, Lenny, why don't you just cool it?

You gonna do something about it, Bradford? Yeah.

Pull off, man. He'll kill you.

I won't be needing Miss October anymore.

I'll just take my camera tonight and, uh, click, click.

Give me that boy and I will go with thee.

Ha! Not for thy fairy kingdom.

Ferry's away.

We shall chide down right if I longer stay.

Oh, how dare you?

Pretty good.

Pretty good, only pretty good?

What are you doing?

You only go around once.

Nancy, I'm just going to shampoo my hair.

Okay, you want to try it again?

Oh, how can you possibly shampoo your hair and cue me at the same time, huh?

Oh, try me.

Okay, what's the line?

Okay, here it is. Wait a minute.

It's right there.

Ill met.

Bye, Moonlight.

Proud Titania.

What? Jealous Oberon.

Tommy, hi.

What happened?

I was sent home.

For fighting?

No, for walking into a door.

Oh, boy. I think we better check this out. You better do it.

My hair needs another round.

Bottoms up.

I told you nothing.

Come on.

Don't get a black eye for nothing.

Well?

Was it a girl?

Wendy Springer?

Then who?

Some big guy was making a lot of dumb cracks about the play.

You see, his brother's the stage manager down there, and he heard about the

scene you're doing tonight.

You took a beating because of me?

No, I took a beating because Lenny Brandt's a jerk.

Maybe it just isn't worth it.

What?

I mean, if you wind up paying the price... Hey, Joanie, you're not

backing out, are you?

Well, maybe I should.

You're worth a lot more to me than a lousy play.

Look, Tony, I'm not real crazy about what you're doing.

But I'm not going to let Lenny Brandt or any other jerk bully you into quitting.

Do you mean that?

Oh, thanks, Tommy.

Hey, listen, you going to come see the play?

Oh, no, don't push it.

Yeah, okay.

Thanks.

Relax, I'll make sure he's on time.

Don't worry about a thing, okay?

Bye.

I called to remind you not to be late. 7 .30 sharp. Apparently, Mr. Abbott is

very punctual.

Oh, boy. He has to pick one night to come to Sacramento.

One night.

Come on, Dad. It can't be that bad.

Oh, it is. I mean, it's bad enough to be looked over by a total stranger.

But to miss Joanie's play, that's terrible.

Oh, boy. Do you look beautiful.

Thanks.

Are you nervous?

Yeah.

Oh, I wish I could be there.

Oh, don't feel bad, Dad.

I understand.

You know I'm sorry.

She knows. She knows.

Break a leg.

Thanks.

See you later.

Boy, what a trooper.

Do you think that she understands?

Of course she understands.

It's just a play.

There'll be other plays.

Dad, can we have some money for pizza, please? Oh, how many? The four of us.

Four of you? What about Tommy? Uh, he's not hungry.

Tommy isn't hungry? That's impossible.

Yeah, well, he's got a little problem with his hamster. With his hamster? I

didn't know about this.

Oh, thanks.

Thanks. Bye. Bye.

See you.

Come in.

What you doing?

Cleaning my hamster cage.

Tommy, turn around.

Not bad.

Did you get something in your eye?

Dad, I really don't want to talk about it.

Give it a try.

Okay. I got into a fight.

And what did the other guy look like?

Better than me.

Oh, well, I guess that's punishment enough. What was it about?

Nothing? Nothing?

You got a humdinger like that fighting over nothing?

I hope she was worth it.

She was.

You know, you'd be used to it.

Hi, guys. Looks great.

I'll be right there.

Oh, take your time.

Walt is very punctual.

Good for Walt.

We should be a little more positive about this. Don't worry. I'll be on my

behavior.

Are you ready?

Almost.

What do you mean, almost?

Before we go... What?

There's something I want you to have. Now, close your eyes. Tom, it's late.

We've got to go. Come on, please. Walt, we'll wait.

Close your eyes.

Close my eyes? Yes. Don't peek.

Okay. My eyes are closed. All right. My eyes are closed. No, they're not. Okay.

Oh, Tom, that's gorgeous.

So are you.

You shouldn't have.

Oh, but I should have.

Well, it must have cost a fortune, huh?

Lady, you're worth a fortune.

I love you.

I love you.

Dad,

I want you to meet Tom Bradford. Tom, this is Walt Abbott.

How do you do?

Tom is having dinner with us.

Oh.

See, Dad, Tom is sort of a

special friend.

I mean, person.

He... We have become sort of

special people to each other.

Abby, what are you trying to say?

What I'm trying to say is...

What she's trying to say, Mr. Abbott, is we're engaged to be married.

Well, congratulations seem to be in order.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

They say the veal here is very good.

Indian air by night.

Well, often has she gossiped by myself.

I'm just running the... Oh, come on, don't tease me.

There's four of us. Thank you.

Nervous? Looks good, huh?

Yeah, do you think Joanie's nervous? She's probably scared to death.

It's a good thing Dad's not here. Yeah, it is.

What was it again you did in the service?

Army, press corps.

Building up the generals, huh?

Well, as much as I could.

Overseas? More like Tennessee.

Purge thy mortal grossness so that thou shalt like an airy spirit go.

Ready.

So when Frank and Abby moved down south to Camp Pendleton, the only thing left

for me was work.

I made the Millionaire's Club the second year.

The only other guy to do that was Roy McGinnis. Or was it Ralph Sturdivant?

Whatever.

I hope I'm not boring you.

Oh, no, no, not at all.

Well, then what's the matter? You don't seem to be here.

Oh, you're right, Walter, and I'm sorry. It's just that...

My mind isn't on this dinner.

What is it?

Well, you see, my daughter Joni is in a play tonight, and it's just one

performance.

I tell you, if you could have seen her face, she was so understanding when I

told her that I couldn't be there.

She was fighting back the tears.

Well, can we still catch her?

Oh.

Well, yes, as a matter of fact, we could catch the third act. Well, then what

are we sitting here for?

Check.

We are haunted. Pray, masters.

Fly, masters.

I'll follow you. I'll lead you back the round.

Through fog, through bush, through briar, through grape.

Sometime a horse I'll be.

Sometime a hog.

A headless bear.

What do I see on thy head? What do you see?

You see an asset of your own, do you?

Bless thee, bottom. Bless thee. Thou art translated.

They know this knavery.

They do this to make an ass of me.

It's going great.

It's going great. Now, now, remember, concentration away from yourselves.

Light, airy, fantastical.

And I will sing.

that they shall hear, I am not afraid.

The wuss so cocked, so black.

Okay, get ready.

What

angel

wakes me from my flower?

Joanie. Joanie.

There's somebody you ought to talk to.

Mary, I'm just not up to it right now, okay?

Neither is he, but better now than in the morning.

Where is he?

In the kitchen.

Dad? You're angry, aren't you?

I don't know if it's anger or disappointment.

One thing it filled me was embarrassing.

How do you suppose I felt seeing people that I work with, friends?

See, Joanie, it wasn't just you up on that stage.

It was me.

The whole world was staring.

But that's what acting is all about, Dad, with or without a costume.

Being an actress is the most important thing in my life.

And being in that play meant a whole lot to me.

I'm just sorry that I hurt the most important person in my life.

I didn't want to hurt you, really.

Maybe if I'd known about it before I saw the play... No, no, I'd have asked you

to quit.

I wanted to tell you, Dad.

I... I talked it over with all the others.

And everybody said, Mom's the word?

No leads.

They were all stuck together.

Let me ask you. The little souvenir that Tommy got, was that on account of you?

Yeah.

Everybody came through for you.

Everybody except me.

But you didn't know.

I'm glad I didn't.

Because I wouldn't have been with you.

And that would have hurt me more than not having been told.

I understand why you did what you did, Joanie.

You thought it was right and you stuck by your guns. I'm proud of you for that.

Only you... You've got to realize when you do things, especially certain

things, it's going to affect all of us.

So in the future, please take everybody's feelings into account.

It's your world, honey.

So grow with it.

But, Daddy...

You

didn't even say whether you liked the play.

The play?

What play?

Oh, come on, stop teasing.

I'm not teasing you.

Listen, when you walked out on that stage, I didn't hear a word.

Oh, I love you, Daddy.

Yeah? Connor and Poulombi, Bunko Squad, ma 'am.

What?

Look, the plane's closed. We're not doing it again. As Tom Bradford lived

Yeah, but he didn't have... Is he home?

What do you want him for?

I mean, I'm legally liable. I'm over 18.

Just get him, honey, will you?

Yeah.

But, Sergeant, we had no idea.

That so?

This is a pretty hot rock you got here, lady. We've been tracing it for months.

Well, who knew? A guy gives you an engagement ring, you don't ask for a

receipt. Tell me, weren't you just a little suspicious when you saw... To

Bernice from Carl?

I never looked.

All right, let's have it once more.

You got the ring from... Him?

Yes, and I got it from my son, who we told you before got it from this boy

he works with, Fred Gorman. Why don't you question him? Relax, we're running a

check on Gorman right now.

And so, great, that's terrific. I mean, and until you can find Gorman, you're

going to lock us up? I mean, tell me, do we look like the typical jewel thieves?

You don't want me to answer that question, do you?

Uh, sit tight. It's for us.

Oh, well, look, the thing is, I mean, if we had no knowledge that the ring was

stolen, why are we being held responsible?

Easy. You are the possessor of the article in question at the moment. And

possession is nine -tenths of the law, right?

You catch on quick.

They're clean, Gus. Gorman's just made a full confession.

Oh, well, does that mean that we're free to go? I mean, stay.

Yep.

Oh. What about the ring?

Evidence. Sleep tight.

We'll let ourselves out. Okay. Very good. Bye. Bye -bye.

Well,

I never did want an engagement ring anyway.

Don't worry. You're not going to get one.

One thing I learned, I will never buy any more secondhand jewelry for my son.

Well, I should hope not.

Boy, what a day.

What a night.

You know, it's almost 1 o 'clock. Don't you have to get home?

Yeah, I do. I have to be up at 7 .30. I'm just going. But, Tom, I have another

confession to make.

Another confession?

How many fathers -in -law do you have?

No, no, no. There are no more fathers -in -law, I promise.

Well, it is getting late, Harvey.

Tom, I really need to get this off my chest, okay? Okay, go ahead, confess.

seems to be a great day for confessions. Okay.

I just took Walt to the airport, and in the car on the way back, I finally began

to understand why I'd been having such a difficult time telling Walt about our

engagement.

I want you to know that I was never ashamed of us or anything like that. It

something else, you know, something really deep inside.

See, Tom, I loved Frank very much.

Probably as much as you loved Joan, right?

I still do.

And if they were still alive, we'd still be with them.

And what with Walt and with the wedding plans, I just got all

confused.

See, there's my love for you, and there's my love for Frank.

And something inside me wonders if...

If I'm being respectful to Frank's memory.

Do you understand?

Happy when someone dies.

Your love doesn't die with them.

I know.

Who knows?

Right now, you're Frank.

Maybe washing the dishes with my Joan.

I don't think so.

Frank never did the dishes.

Nicholas, what are you doing up?

Well, see, Dad, I did something bad, and I have to tell you. Oh, no, not another

confession. It's all right, Nicholas.

You're forgiven. It's all right. It is?

Yes, just go to bed.

I can't.

Why not?

Well, see, I have these cookies smuggled under my covers, and, um, I forgot, and

I started jumping on my bed, and they got all crummy.

You didn't.

So then I started sleeping on the floor, and, um...

I got uncomfortable, so then I woke up, and now I don't have no place to sleep

except your bed.

My bed.

Relax, Tom. You could do a lot worse.

I could do a lot better.

16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

Twenty -two.

Twenty -one. Twenty -three.

Twenty... Oh, David, come on, please.

What are you doing, killer?

Twenty -three.

I'm pumping iron. What's it look like?

Tired of being a 98 -pound weakling?

No.

I'm just getting ready.

Ready for what?

Will you see this black eye?

Oh, yeah. It's a beauty.

Oh, it's the last one I intend to get.

Be prepared, right?

Right.

Prepared for what?

Well, one, Joanie's doing another play. Two.

What's the play?

Three.

Peter Pan.

Four. Peter Pan in the nude?

You never can tell.