All language subtitles for Eight Is Enough s02e04 Double Trouble

Tommy, how come Mrs. Abbott doesn't come
around the house anymore?

She decided to go with Dad for a little
while.

How come?

It's complicated, Nicholas. Move.

I'm eight. I can understand complicated
things.

Nicholas, women are weird, that's all.
Now move.

Mrs. Abbott isn't weird. She's nice.

All women are weird.

What about Mary?

Completely bonkers.

And Joanie and Susan and Nancy?

Nuttier than fruitcakes. Now would you
move?

Elizabeth? We could send her away
tomorrow in a straight jacket, but we

sorry for her because she's our sister.
Now move!

What about Wendy Springer? You know,
that picture under your pillow?

Nicholas, quit stalling and move.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Bingo.

Boardwalk with a hotel. That makes 2
,000 smackers. Fork it over.

Oh, hi, Abby.

I just happened to be in the
neighborhood, so I thought I'd stop by.

A cup of coffee?

Sure. I'd love to.

I'd love to. I'd love to.

I'd love to.

A cup of coffee.

A cup of coffee. I'd love to. A cup of
coffee.

I'd love to.

Hi, kiddo.

What's happening?

Weird things.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Well... Nancy's walking around with a
book on her head, and Dad's talking to

himself. Ah, Dad's been talking to
himself for years. But, Nancy, better

this one out. Could be serious.

Let you know if we need an ambulance,
okay?

Okay. See ya.

Hello. Hi.

Catching up on your reading?

What's with the book, Nancy?

for the CIA.

It's with a book.

Susan, would you mind leaving me alone?

I want to get dressed.

Where are you going?

Nowhere.

Pretty classy outfit for going nowhere.

That's right.

And that's where you're going.

Bye. Bye.

Pretty snazzy outfit.

Thank you.

Where are you going?

Nowhere.

Nancy, why?

Yeah, well, she's going nowhere, too.
You could give her a lift.

Tom. Hi.

Hi. I was just in the neighborhood,
so... You thought you'd just drop in,

Yeah.

I thought we had an understanding.

Maybe what we had was a
misunderstanding.

I don't think so.

Why don't we go for coffee? We could
talk about it.

Look,

Tom, see, you have eight children, and
I'm just not sure that I'm prepared to

share you with them. And that's all
there is to it.

I think there's more than that.

Well, of course there's more than that.

Abby, the kids miss you, you know. Oh, I
miss them, too.

All right, if you change your mind.

You'll be the first to know, I promise.

All right.

Good night, Abby.

Hey, Tom.

Tell the kids I said hi, okay?

Sure.

Pile of mode?

Chocolate sauce?

Yeah. I mean, the piece is this big.

One bite, one pound. Easy.

Huh. He was acting really weird earlier
this evening. Yeah? Yeah, all I did was

ask him where he was going, and he acted
like it was some kind of state secret.

What do you think is wrong with him?

Menopause? Oh, Mary, come on. Period.

I think Dad's really depressed.

And he always overeats when he's feeling
down.

I bet you it's Abby. I bet you you're
right.

Well, what are we going to do?

Nothing. Look, people have the
inalienable right to be depressed if

be, huh?

Depressed maybe, but fat?

She's right.

I mean, it's really not healthy for a
man his age to be overweight.

Thank you, Doctor.

It also happens not to be healthy for a
man's daughters to meddle in his love

life. Mary, look, it's not... There's a
difference between meddling and

constructively helping someone in need.

I vote for meddling.

You would.

Look, whatever this charitable committee
of do -gooders decides, count me out.

Hey, scratch one. So, you guys, what are
we going to do, okay? Keep fattening

foods out of the house.

Go see Abby. Find him another woman.

Oh, come on.

Why not? It's either that or fat, right?

Yeah, and suppose Abby finds out about
it.

And what if Abby gets jealous?

Pretty sneaky.

Tricky.

Terrible. But effective.

It never fails.

All right.

Who did that?

You can't even eat breakfast without
getting attacked around here.

Attacked? Nicholas, you see anybody
attack that girl?

What girl?

You must be imagining things, Elizabeth.
You guys, guys, I have an announcement

to make.

All right, attention, you animals.

Nancy has an announcement to make.

I'm a finalist for the Miss Sacramento
contest.

Well, I wanted to wait and make sure.

And last night was the qualifying round.

All right. Hey, that's good, Nancy.
Congratulations.

That's great.

So when's the big night?

A week from Saturday.

I'll try to keep it open.

Oh, thanks, Tommy. Dad, Nancy's been
chosen as a finalist in the Miss

contest. Oh, that's nice. Good luck,
Nancy. I have to hurry. I'm late.

Well, he could have been more excited.
Oh, he's on the rebound.

Abby shot him down, but we decided last
night to fix him up with someone else to

make her jealous. You decided?

I decided to leave him alone, remember?

Yeah, yeah, well, you were outvoted.
Nancy, can you think of someone to set

up with? Oh, I don't know. Um, how about
the woman at the reference desk at the

library? Are you kidding? What a dog!

I know somebody.

I know, I know, the legal secretary, the
one that's a friend of Daisy's. Oh,

she's too old.

I know somebody. Stop interrupting,
Nicholas.

Period. Come on.

Someone. I got it. Raquel Welch. Don't.
Tommy. Well, why not? Maybe she goes for

the lived -in look. Oh, come on.

I mean, three weeks without a date.

That's a long time between drinks, my
friend.

You sure this laundromat routine works?

Hey, it never fails.

You see, there's something about a woman
that can't help responding to a

helpless man trying to cope with a
domestic chore.

It's pure, unadulterated maternal
instinct.

So all you do is go in and pretend you
don't know what you're doing.

Right. You just stare at the machines.

Or you fiddle with the temperature
controls, or you agonize over the choice

detergents.

I don't know, Carl. It sounds pretty
hokey.

Oh, it is.

Hey, but believe me, it's better than
those singles bars.

It's cheaper.

Besides that, there's enough lighting to
see what you're getting.

Clean laundry.

Taunt whirling is not a martial art. I
know, but I can't do it.

I can't do it.

You can't do it.

Dinner's ready.

What am I going to do? I need an act for
my talent contest.

I got an idea. What?

Picking up guys. You're a pro at that.

Dinner's ready.

Want a second helping of mashed
potatoes?

Yes, I'm sure. Oh, come on. You've had
enough.

Nancy, how's your talent act coming? Oh,
it's awful.

Oh, don't get discouraged. I'm sure
you'll come up with something. Yeah,

what?

Hello?

Nicholas? Oh, I'm telling him to call
back. He isn't here.

Hey, wait a minute. He isn't here. Where
is he?

Would you guys please be quiet? I can't
hear.

Thank you, Mrs. Manning. That's very
kind of you.

Bye -bye.

Is he all right? He's fine. He's fine.
He's having dinner at a friend Peter

Manning's house, and Mrs. Manning will
bring him home right after dinner.

What I want to know is how we could be
ten minutes into the dinner and nobody

notice that he wasn't here.

He's small.

He's quiet.

Strange.

What's strange?

Nicholas loves mashed potatoes.

So do you.

Dad! It would be a sin to let it go to
waste.

Mr. Bradford?

Hello. I'm Ellen Manning.

Hi, Dad.

Oh. Oh, yes, yes. You're Nicholas's
little friend's mother.

Hi, Dad.

Don't interrupt, Nicholas.

Actually, I didn't know that Nicholas
and Peter were friends until I sort of

found him at my dinner table.

Uh -huh, yeah, uh -huh.

Well, why won't you come in?

Well, I'll just have a minute. I left
Peter with some neighbors.

Oh, Nicholas, go eat your dinner.

Nicholas, come to the living room.

Nicholas,

did you... I mean, did you do that on
purpose?

Yeah, they were having spinach.

Yeah.

You mean, you set up this whole thing so
Dad could meet Mrs. Manning?

Yeah, you guys gotta start taking me
more seriously.

Yeah.

You said the kid didn't know anything
about women.

She's not married, is she?

Peter said they were divorced.

Too bad.

Terrible.

Do I have to eat dinner again?

No.

Good going, Peter.

A dollar says that they're Tom and Ellen
by the time she leaves.

Okay, you're on.

Well, it was nice chatting with you.

Yes, it was.

Oh, and listen, I really appreciate you
taking Nicholas over to your house and

feeding him and all that. Oh, no
problem. He was a perfect gentleman.

Oh, thanks. Well, I hope I'll be seeing
you again, Mrs. Manning.

Well, that would be nice, Mr. Bradford.

Listen, how about calling me Tom?

Sure.

I'm Ellen.

Oh, good.

I'll walk you to your car.

Thank you.

Way to go, Tom.

It's going to be nice.

Thanks. Just hope the weights isn't
going to be too tight.

No.

Nance, can I ask you a question?

Sure, what's on your mind?

Why'd you decide to enter this contest,
Nancy?

Why not?

Well, what I mean is...

I said a beauty pageant isn't anything
more than a high -class girlie show.

It exploits men's fantasies of the
perfect woman.

Pert, pretty, plastic.

For some men, maybe.

But Mary, for once I'd like to have
something that's just mine.

Something special.

You're going to be a doctor.

Joanie acts.

Susan swims and plays tennis like a pro.

Elizabeth is studying ballet.

I'm tired of being the family joke.

The one who's trying to find herself.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

Yeah.

It's hard being a someone in this
family.

Oh, Nancy, you are a someone.

I think you're gonna knock them dead.

See you.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, come in.

Oh, thanks.

Morning. Sit down, sit down.

Um, bye. Thank you.

We were just in the neighborhood, you
know, and we were thinking about you.

Thought we'd stop by and say hi.

Well, my neighborhood seems to be really
popular lately.

So, how you doing?

I'm good.

How you doing?

Good, good.

Well, are you keeping busy?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I've been very busy.

Look, cards on the table, okay?

Number one, your father and I are just
good friends.

And number two, I would like to remain
good friends with you all too, but it's

going to be rough if you get involved in
this.

And number three, I was supposed to be
someplace five minutes ago, so, uh...

Well,

we understand. I just came by to say hi.

Well, I really appreciate it, and, um...
Well, we'll take a rain check, okay?

Okay.

Um, could we use your phone before we
go? Oh, sure, sure. Help yourself. Just

remember to pull the door to, okay?
Okay. Okay. Bye.

Bye.

You're taking laundry out of the house?
Uh -huh.

You see, Mary, I've been feeling very
guilty about using this house as a

laundromat. So I've decided to pay
everyone back by doing an enormous

for the whole family.

Here, David. That's all we've got. Oh,
that's fine, Elizabeth. Thanks. Sure.

You mean you're taking all of this to
the laundromat?

You know, the place where they put the
little coins in the little slot?

It would hardly be an act of altruism if
I used your machine, would it?

He's flipping out.

This I gotta see. Shh, not so loud.

We do have a dollar on this, right?

And what if we strike pay dirt?

Well, then you and the laundry take the
bus home.

This is merely for future reference.

You know, this is worse than driver's
ed. I mean, you may not get a license,

at least you get to practice.

Well, you wouldn't know what to do with
it anyway.

Here.

Might as well work for your education.

I really appreciate what you're doing.

It was too late for Mrs. Manning to get
babysitters on such short notice. Oh,

don't mention it, Dad.

Besides, it's not really like
babysitting. After all, Peter and

run off and play by themselves.

Hey, don't worry about a thing.

Just have a good time.

What are you smiling like that for, Mr.
Bradford?

Peter. Where is your mother?

She's coming. She's putting all that
goop on her face.

Hey, take over!

Night here.

Oh, yeah.

You know, a lot of people think this is
old -fashioned.

But I like it. I really do.

I mean, there's not a lot of noise, and
there's enough light so that you can see

what you're reading. And the prices are
reasonable.

And they've got good salads, too, which
is great for somebody who's trying to

watch their weight.

Oh, you too?

Mm -hmm.

I think when you own a dress shop, you
have to project this slim image so that

all your customers feel slimmer and they
buy more.

Mm -hmm.

You know, you're a very independent
woman.

And you like independent women as long
as they stay women.

Yeah. How did you know I was going to
say that?

Feminine intuition.

Huh.

Listen, would you be interested...

No, you wouldn't.

Well, try me.

All right, okay.

I thought that maybe after dinner we
could... Oh, gosh, this is embarrassing.

How do I put it? I mean, nothing wrong.

I mean, it's just... All right, I'll
tell you. You ready?

I have the secret weakness for Disney
movies.

And there's one playing right now at the
Orpheum Theater.

I wouldn't want this to get around,
but...

I happen to be a closet Disney fan
myself. Now, don't tell anybody.

Oh, it's a deal.

It's a deal.

What temperature do we use?

Beats me.

I guess we just throw everything
together, right?

Uh, no. I think we're supposed to
separate this stuff.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, but what goes where?

I got an idea. Let's put the black socks
with the table linens.

Good idea.

I'll get it.

Abby.

Oh, what a nice surprise.

Come in.

Tony, you left your purse at my
apartment.

Oh, that was really careless of me.

I'm sorry you had to come all the way
over here.

It's okay. I just happened to be in the
neighborhood.

How about a cup of coffee? Oh, no, I
couldn't.

It's all right.

He's not here.

He's out.

On a date?

Yeah.

You know, it's so good that he's dating
again.

Practically every night.

I'm glad.

You are?

Sure, Susan. I mean, um...

Your dad's really a good man, and, uh...
Well, he should be dating.

Hey, Joanie, uh, the purse bit was a
little bit transparent, and, uh... Well,

the truth is, I really don't want to
hear about your dad's love life.

I'll see you.

Yeah, well, uh, thanks, ma 'am.

Yeah, we got it all down pat, thanks.

That was just terrific.

Yeah, all right, wise guy. So we blew
it. At least we learned something,

Oh, yeah.

First you put the delicate stuff over
there. No starch.

Come on.

Whose turn is it this time?

Yours. I'm up last time.

Besides, I think they're in your room.

pattern that I made for my beauty
pageant dress, Dad.

Well, I'm sure it can be put back
together again, can't it? I'm afraid

This thing's a disaster.

Nancy, I'm really sorry about this.
Sometimes Peter gets just carried away.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay.

Let me tell you what I want you to do.

First thing tomorrow morning, I want you
to come down to my dress shop and let

me fix you up with a dress on the house.

No, Ellen, I couldn't.

Really, please.

It would make me feel a lot better.

Okay. Thanks.

Tom, I have to go. Yeah, sure. I'll walk
you down to the car.

Okay.

Hey, Dad!

Hey! Hey, Dad!

Hiya! How was your evening?

Very nice.

The penguin room?

Yes, as a matter of fact. And she loved
it.

I suppose she loves Disney, too?

Yes, she did.

And you know what?

I can think of at least one woman that
could take a lesson from this lady.

The Penguin Room and Disney.

It looks like we created a monster.

Created nothing.

Ellen comes with one. I mean, what would
happen... Don't even mention it.

Oh, Susan, Abby wasn't the least bit
jealous, was she? No.

I think we blew it.

I'll say we blew it.

Nancy? See?

What? Unless you stand still, your hem
is going to walk with a limp.

Sorry, Ellen. I guess I'm just kind of
nervous.

Are you kidding?

Poured into one of my slinkiest items?
Take a look at this.

All right.

Oh, Ellen, it's beautiful.

Now picture yourself up there on that
stage.

All those lights on.

Huh? Mm -hmm.

Everything in its place. Make a perfect,
a vision of loveliness.

No.

More like a vision of boring.

Oh, not the dress.

Me.

You see, everyone has to have a routine
to show how talented they are.

Well, I'm going to show how talented I'm
not.

Oh, come on.

Don't put yourself down.

Don't you have any hobbies?

Well, the closest thing I ever had as a
hobby was cheerleading in high school.

I tried a baton twirling routine, and I
almost totaled out my sister.

Well, I wouldn't worry about it.

If you put the problem before that
oversized family of yours, I'm sure

will come up with something.

They already have.

Well, what's the problem?

It's nothing I'd want to do in public.

No.

Okay, now let's try it again, all right?
Back straight, back straight, yep, and

give your smile bright. Right!

Okay, all right, all right.

Contestant number one, what is your
favorite book?

The Bible.

What happened to Valley of the Dolls?

The Bible sounds better.

Okay, contestant number one, what do you
want to do professionally when you grow

up?

I want to be a doctor.

It sounds noble, but I think it's going
to be threatening to the male judges.

Really? I thought it was kind of good.
No. Well, what about a nurse? There's

nothing threatening about being a nurse.
No. Great. Okay, contestant number one,

what is your favorite color?

Red.

White and blue.

Abby, I really didn't mean to get you
involved like this.

I mean, you've already done enough
lending me these curlers.

It's okay, that's okay. See, between the
two of us, we're going to lick this

talent contest thing of yours.

Yeah, but the question is how and when.

Yeah, well, you should have come to me
sooner, see. But that's okay, that's

okay. See, we can't let that get us
discouraged.

It means we just have to concentrate a
little harder because everybody has a

talent for something, see.

I've got it. What?

This is going to make a great routine.

What?

Oh, tell me.

On your mark, get set, go.

Minus 45 seconds.

That was terrific.

Yeah? Only now you can do it again and
just slow it down and try it with more

a smile, you know. Remember, you have to
be congenial.

Congenial?

Congenial is always having to say you're
sorry.

Right.

Abby, you'll be there, won't you?

Hmm. I don't think I should.

I don't want to make it uncomfortable
for your father.

Oh, come on.

It's in the Rotary Banquet Hall.

That's an awfully big place.

I mean, it isn't like you're going to
meet Dad and Ellen... Somewhere.

I mean... What I mean is Dad wouldn't
mind.

Let me think about it, okay?

Okay. You want to try it one more time?
From the top. All right. Ready?

Yeah.

Oh, well.

I'm afraid I'm just going to have to
trump this one.

Oh, bid and made.

Well. If it hadn't been for that lousy
heart distribution.

And the lousy finesse by my learned
partner.

This is the point where we usually start
arguing.

So to keep up appearances and not
embarrass our guests, I think I'll just

finesse myself into the kitchen for
coffee.

I'll give you a hand.

You have got yourself a winner there,
old buddy.

Oh, yeah, she is a pretty fair bridge
player, all right.

That's not the half of it. I mean, she
is a terrific lady.

Did you notice?

She doesn't overbid the hand the way
Abby did.

She did not talk during the game. She
doesn't go out of her way to disagree.

Yeah, I know.

You know, Mac, there's something about
that woman that... Worries me.

What's to worry about?

Absolutely nothing.

That's what worries me.

You are a very fortunate man.

Be happy.

Oh, I'm happy, all right.

I just worry when I'm happy.

Elizabeth.

What are you doing here?

I'm a prisoner of war.

They locked me out an hour ago.

But you're supposed to be in charge of
the boys. Well, okay, so you don't have

to pay me for the last hour, then. I'm
sorry, Ellen.

It's all right.

Nicholas, let me in! Boys!

What's the password?

Elizabeth, what's the password?

Oh, it's too late and I'm too tired to
play 20 questions.

I went to see Abby tonight.

She solved my talent problem.

Oh, that's great, Nancy.

Okay, Nicholas, get upstairs and get to
sleep.

But I already am asleep.

Oh, come on. Stay up.

I really owe Abby a lot.

That's nice.

How was your date?

Oh, we had a wonderful time. Thank you.

That's more than I had. What happened?

I don't want to hear it for the second
time. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to

go to bed.

What happened? Have you ever been held
as a prisoner of war by two eight -year

-olds? Huh?

Coming.

Morning, Dad.

What gets you up so bright and early on
Saturday?

Socks.

Come on in. Right over here.

Well, I don't know if you got what you
want, but I must say that these whites

are whiter than ever.

Well, when it comes to laundry, I really
know my women.

How's your woman?

Huh? She's not my woman. She never was.

She accused me of not having enough time
for her.

I mean, that's a joke. If I don't have
enough time for her, then how come I

all this time to think about her?

I tell you, sometimes that Abby is a
real hard case.

I meant, how's Ellen?

Huh?

Ellen?

Oh, Ellen. Oh, yeah, she's fine. Just
fine.

Well, that's good to know.

Yes, she's a wonderful... That's the
most wonderful woman I ever met in my

I mean, it's a pleasure to be around
her. She's kind and generous. She plays

wonderful game of bridge.

Unlike someone else we know?

Exactly. I tell you. Do you know, I
don't know how I lasted as long as I did

with Abby. You don't know what she was
really like. We used to argue half the

time we were together.

She was stubborn, opinionated,
unpredictable.

If I say something's white, she says
it's black. I say, all right, you're

it is black. She says, no, it's white. I
mean, it had to end.

It's hard giving up someone you like,
isn't it?

It's impossible.

Listen, Dad.

When push comes to shove, you can always
try hanging out in laundromats.

Never fails.

Pretty snappy.

Oh, yeah? I'm glad you like it. I'm
taking Ellen to the theater.

You don't know where Nicholas is, do
you? He's in the sun porch.

Have a good time.

Nicholas?

Over here.

Oh, hey.

Hiya, champ.

What are you doing?

Thinking. Oh.

Well, why are you thinking in the
corner?

Because there's nothing else to do in
the corner.

Hmm, that makes sense.

Wouldn't you rather be doing something
with Peter?

No.

Well, we've got a professional
babysitter this time.

I still don't want to go.

Nicholas, look, Ellen and I are going
out, and we've got it all planned.

That's what you planned. The only thing
I ever planned was for you to meet

Peter's mom.

Oh, I see. And you didn't want a new
friend thrown in the bargain.

Nope. Do I still have to go?

No. Not if you don't want to.

Thanks. I'm done thinking now.

I know it was my idea, but I really
didn't expect it

to be that bad.

Oh, no, we shouldn't be too critical.

Actually, the sets were clever.

Costumes were cute.

For a rogue company, some of the
performances were pretty good.

Well, all the parts were there, so how
come it doesn't work?

Maybe they tried too hard.

Or maybe everything was just too
perfect.

I really don't know.

Okay, everybody, you ready?

Drum roll maestro, please.

Here she comes, Miss Sacramento herself.

Good luck, Nancy.

I'll be rooting for you. I'm going to
need it, Daddy. I know I've been kind of

preoccupied the last few days, but with
me, you've always been a winner.

Thank you, Daddy.

I'll never forget this moment as long as
I live.

You're just going across town, not to
the moon.

One small step for man, one giant step
for mankind.

Let's go win.

Relax. You look perfect.

I just wish Abby could see how I turned
out.

Abby's not coming?

No.

I think we have time for a detail.

Who is it?

Nancy and David?

Hey, how you doing? Oh, you look...
Nancy, you look beautiful.

Do you really think so, Abby? I think
you are, um... a definite contender.

Thank you.

Abby, I really wish you'd come tonight.

Oh, Nancy, look, we've been over all
this, see, and, uh... Well, your dad and

just... My dad is not asking you.

I did.

Hey, look, we're friends, right?

Yeah, of course we're friends. Sure,
we're friends.

Well, no matter what happened between
you and my dad, I don't think that

have to affect our relationship.

Come on.

What do you say, friend?

I say, um... Let me think about it.

Okay.

But in the meantime, you gotta get
there, and you gotta knock him dead,

okay? I will. And make sure she gets
there all right, all right?

Bye. Good luck. Thanks.

How about that? Let's hear it for the
band, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

And now, here are our five lovely
finalists.

Miss Deirdre Murphy, come on out here,
honey.

Number two, Miss Mary Lou Foster.

Where is she? Come on out, Mary Lou.

Finalist number three, Miss Tina
Johnson.

I saw one.

Thank you, darling.

Finalist number four, Rose

Swansky.

Rose Swansky, ladies and gentlemen.

And a lovely long ten rows, if ever I
saw one.

it down, fellas.

And last but not least, are you
wondering who our last and final

lucky lady is?

I bet you think it's your sister.

Or your daughter.

Well, let's see if you're right.

And here she is.

And last, finalist herself, Miss Nancy
Bronson. Let's hear it for

her.

Both years, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, folks.

Now hold it down, folks.

The judges have to make their final
decision.

So while they're casting their final
vote, it's intermission time.

Penny for your thoughts.

Oh, what a beautiful night.

I was just thinking about Nancy.

I hope everything works out all right
for her.

Well, out of all those girls, only one
of them is going to win.

You know what?

Sometimes losing turns out to be the
best thing.

You'd be hard -pressed to convince Nancy
of that.

Well, I'm not trying to convince Nancy,
Tom.

I think we said it last night at the
theater.

Things are just too perfect.

All the parts are there, but it just
doesn't work.

You tried too hard.

Maybe.

I really enjoy your company, Tom.

We're great bridge partners. We can sit
and agree on how to solve all the

world's problems.

But there's just no spark, no chemistry.

I guess we're just not right for each
other.

Well, there's still one good thing about
us.

What's that?

We still agree.

You're a very wise and wonderful woman.

Why, thank you very much, sir.

Here it is, folks.

The big moment you've all been waiting
for.

We've polled the judges, and the winner
is...

She seems to be taking it better than I
thought.

Good sportsmanship seems to be in vogue
this evening.

I think I'll go backstage and, uh, come
over.

Yeah, come on. Let's all go backstage,
guys.

Come on.

Oh, wait a minute. Where do you think
you're going? Backstage? I think I

recognized one of the blondes. You know,
you'll never learn.

Want to make some bet?

Anytime.

This I gotta see. Me too.

Oh, don't tell me. I know. You just
happened to be in the neighborhood. And

thought I'd just drop in.

Yeah, well, I'm glad you did.

That's a shame about Nancy.

Hi, Daddy. Oh, Nancy, I'm so sorry.

Hey, it was a trip.

Oh,

oh, look, they don't know each other.

Ellen, this is Abby. Abby, Ellen.

Hello, Ellen.

Glad to meet you.

Tom, could I have the keys to the car?

I'd like to take Nancy out for a
consolation fudge Sunday.

Oh, sure, that's great.

Nancy, be sure to tell David, though, to
drive me home. Well, David's already

left. He said he had to pay back a debt
with Tommy. What? Well, how am I going

to get home?

I think you'll find a ride.

Hmm.

Wonder what she means by that.

Lady, go on my way?

Oh, maybe.

Well, she seemed, uh... She seemed very
nice.

Yeah, yeah, she was nice. It's too bad,
too.

Why?

Oh, I don't know. She's just so nice
that she used to make me nervous right.

I mean, she never lost her temper, never
overbid at bridge.

There was no, uh... How do you say? Fire
between us. It was just warm.

Listen, I have an idea. What do you say
we go, um... For a nightcap?

Okay, I'd like to. All right, I think I
can get reservations at the Penguin

Room. The Penguin Room? The Penguin Room
is like a morgue. Let's go someplace

fun, you know, like the Marimba Lounge.

Oh, come on, Abby, don't start that. I
can't stand that place. It gives me a

migraine. All those noisy people with
their la cucarachas. Now, come on, give

a break. Tom, we always go where you
want to go. Just once, just once, I'd

to go where I want to go. All right,
Abby, I don't want to argue with you.

go where you want to go. Give me the
keys to your car. Oh, no, no, you're not

driving my car again until you have at
least one more lesson.

I am not going to be chauffeuring around
like Nicholas to a birthday party. Now

give me the keys. No, Tom, you're not
driving my car.

Abby. Tom. Abby. Tom. Yes.

Tom, do you realize what we're doing?

Yes.

Well, I love it.

Peanut butter.

Tommy, while you're over there, will you
see if we have any eggs?

Nope. We're all out.

Two dozen eggs.

Are you making a shopping list?

Uh -huh.

Only now that Dad's seeing Abby again,
the volume's back to normal.

Uh, Mary, I've got a proposition for
you.

You're too young.

No, I'm serious.

See, I've been feeling a little guilty
about the amount of food I eat. You're

going on a hunger strike.

Nope. Better than that.

I'm going to do the shopping for the
whole family.

You're going shopping?

Yep. Just give me the list.

You feeling okay, Tommy?

Sure.

Eat at the schoolyard.

You see, they're older at the
supermarket, more sophisticated, more

You know, Mary, there's something about
the sight of a helpless young male,

lonely and confused.

Confronted with the breathtaking variety
of all the yogurt flavors.

The woman just can't resist.

It's pure maternal instinct.

Never fail.