Original subtitles

End times are here, folks.

Only way to salvation is to embrace

the triangular ways of our overlord.

Any object with more than three sides is sinful.

That's it. That's probably what Bill wants.

I reckon I've been living a lie.

Ladies, gentlemen,

that creature with, like, 87 different faces.

Eighty-eight different faces.

Oh, sorry. Touchy subject.

Anyways, it's been fun turning Gravity Falls

inside out, rounding up all its terrified citizens

and then stacking them into this massive

throne of frozen human agony.

Don't worry, they're not conscious anymore.

Probably.

My omelets... they have friendly faces.

Whoops. Back you go there.

But Gravity Falls is just the beginning.

It's time to take our chaos worldwide!

All right, boys, to the corners of the earth.

Set the world aflame with your weirdness.

This dimension is ours!

Ah, global domination.

I could get used to...

What?!

Hm, this might be more complicated than I thought.

I think I broke something.

Walk it off!

Mabel. Mabel!

Okay, guys, Bill has taken over the town,

and if this weirdness spreads,

he's gonna take over the whole world.

Our first step to stopping him is rescuing Mabel,

but he's got her trapped in this strange prison bubble.

What is this place anyway?

Guys, if I die, I wanna die hugging.

Soos, you're choking me.

Let my body be your shield.

Is the entire ground a bouncy castle?

Do you hear '80s music?

And does the air smell like childlike wonder?

Whoa!

This is Mabel's prison?

Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.

It's fun o'clock, everyone.

Today's weather calls for rainbows

with a chance of dance parties.

If you're the owner of a unicorn with a top hat,

please come to the ice cream beach.

Your unicorn is being towed.

What is this new world?

Shining, shimmering, splendid.

Welcome to Mabeland.

♪ Mabeland ♪

And this is worse than the apocalypse.

Dude, this place hurts my eyes.

Oh, that's normal.

Mabeland's rainbows have colors

only bees and art students can see.

Now who wants to go on the grand tour?

- Do we have a choice? - No!

Mabeland is the ultimate paradise,

and the only rule-- there are no rules!

Except for one rule, which is very serious.

But no one would ever break it,

so it's not worth mentioning.

Yeah!

Listen, creepy dream guys, we're not here to party, okay?

We just need to find Mabel and get her out of here.

Where is she?

Our home girl Mabel lives at our next stop.

That rules!

Now come have rad snacks

served by awesome penguins.

Oh, score. I'm so hungry.

Yeah. I haven't eaten anything

except for part of my hat for the last three days.

Can you guys just hold on a second?

Do you see what's happening here?

Don't forget, this world was created by Bill.

That punch is probably blood.

And that glitter rain is probably ground-up bones or babies or something.

Bill's using Mabel's own fantasies

as some sick trap.

We need to grab Mabel and get the heck outta here.

Oh, Mabel? She's at the top of the tallest tower,

guarded by those big, buff waffle guards.

There's no way to get past them.

Someone hand me some syrup.

It's happening. The moment we trained for.

Don't worry, man. I gotcha.

It's now or never, guys.

This is a rescue.

Everyone hit the deck.

Hang in there, Mabel!

There she is.

Soos, grab her.

Wendy, barricade the door.

Up you go, little lady.

Soos? Wendy? Dipper?

The waffles are coming back.

- We gotta hurry! - Uh, guys.

Don't worry, Mabel. We'll get you out of this.

But Dipper...

Mabel, what are you doing?

We're trying to save you from this prison.

This isn't a prison.

I made this world.

Well, I sorta woke up here.

- It's complicated. - What are you saying?

I'm saying this is my home now,

and I don't wanna be saved.

- Sorry, Mabel. - No worries, bubble bear.

- You did what?! - Look, after you said

you wouldn't come back home with me at the end of the summer

for your "apprenticeship,”

I wanted to hide in my sweater forever.

But then I woke up in a place that gives me

exactly what I wanted--

an endless summer where we'll never have to grow up.

Here, the sun shines all day, the party never ends,

and now that you guys are here, it's finally perfect.

Listen, Mabel, we're not here to party.

All of this is crazy.

Ugh! I figured you might say something like that, Dipper.

That's why I've prepared a backup Dipper

with a more supportive attitude.

Whoa!

Uh, yeah!

Wiggity-wiggity what's up, dude bros?

I'm Dippy Fresh.

I like skateboarding, supporting my sister,

and punctuating every third sentence with a high five.

Oh, don't mind if I...

Ahem!

I'm sorry. I can't leave him hanging.

- Yes. - You're dead to me, Soos.

Trust me. You guys are gonna love it here.

This world always knows what you want,

sometimes even before you do.

Apparently I wanted a chinchilla.

Right again, Mabeland.

Mabel, listen to yourself. This is crazy.

I'm sorry about our fight,

and I'm sorry things aren't great right now,

but that doesn't mean you can just stay in here forever.

Hey, take a chill pill. Those grow on trees here.

You stay out of this, Dippy Fresh!

Dude, calm down.

Dippy Fresh didn't do anything to you, dawg.

I know it seems too good to be true,

but just give this place a chance.

Mabeland knows just what you want,

and always provides.

Pudding center. Nice.

Actually, Mabel, I'm with Dipper on this.

Gravity Falls is in trouble, and I really think--

Wendy!

Guys? You're safe.

We've got a monster truck full of fireworks, fake ID's,

and pranking supplies.

Wanna drive this truck to the high school

and glue this plunger to the principal's head?

Yes. Yes, I do.

Sorry, guys. I've always wanted to do that.

I'll be back in just a few minutes.

Whoo-hoo!

- Wendy? - Don't worry, dude.

There's nothing in this world that could break me

from our mission.

Soos mi hijo. I have returned.

Holy... whoa, whoa. Dad?

You don't remember what I look like,

so I have the body of a pro wrestler,

and a face you once saw on a hot sauce bottle.

I was never there for you, but in this world, I can be.

- You're perfect. - It's a trap.

Don't go with him, Soos, no matter what he offers you.

Want to play catch?

I'm sorry, dude.

Even if it is all a dream,

I've gotta play just one game.

Come on, Dad.

Okay, this has gone too far.

You can't honestly think these fantasies are good for anyone.

You can't argue with the results.

People are happy here.

Does it really matter if it's real or not?

For once, stop listening to your head,

and listen to your heart.

Mabeland has something for everyone, even you.

In fact...

Nope. Not looking. Not looking.

All right, can anybody explain to me why,

even with our newfound infinite power...

none of us can escape the borders

of this stupid hick town?!

There's some kind of force field keeping us in.

But who would know how to fix it?

Hmm. Maybe someone needs to come out of retirement.

Bill. Sorry, boss,

but Gideon let the Pines family escape.

They're inside Mabel's bubble as we speak.

Mabel's bubble is the most diabolical trap

I've ever created.

It would take a will of titanium

not to give into its temptations.

Fetch me Gideon, and take the rest of the day off.

Things just got a little more interesting.

♪ Bo-ba-do-do, I'm a stuffed animal tree ♪

♪ He's a stuffed animal tree ♪

Even my stone skips are perfect.

Who am I kidding?

Maybe Mabel's right.

It's a horror show out there.

At least the air here is breathable.

Dude, you're talking to a river.

Oh, hey, Wendy. What's up?

I thought you were busy wrecking the school or whatever.

Yeah, that got old quick.

And this music is really starting to get on my nerves.

I think that stuff you said about this place is right.

Really? Well, now we just need a plan.

Don't worry. You always think of something.

You know, you're so much smarter than, like, everyone else.

It's kinda funny.

If you were older, you'd be, like, my dream guy.

Wait. Do you really mean that?

Wait a minute.

In this place, you can be any age you want.

If we were the same age, maybe you and me could...

I don't know... actually be together.

Wait. Really?

I bet if we asked Mabel, she could do it right now.

In this place, it could finally be just you and me.

Come on, man. Just take my hand.

Wait. This isn't real!

You shouldn't have done that, Dipper!

We're watching you.

There are eyes everywhere.

- Hi, Dipper. - Hey, Dipper.

- Hey, Dipper. - Hey, Dipper.

♪ Bo-ba-do-do, I'm a stuffed animal tree ♪

Oh, my gosh.

This is crazy.

I'm losing my mind.

We have to get out of here.

We have to go back... to the real world!

Hey!

Under Article Smiley Face of Exhibit Squeaky Duck,

you are hereby accused of breaking our one rule--

mentioning reality.

Prepare to be banished from this land forever!

Mabel, you're smarter than this.

Bill has you hypnotized or something.

Are you really gonna let them banish me?

No. Of course not.

That's my brother, guys.

There's gotta be another way.

Very well.

If Dipper wishes to stay, he must plead his case

in the ultimate trial of Fantasy vs. Reality.

Hey. Seriously?

It was him.

Oh!

Seriously, Mabel?

You're letting them take our argument to court?

Hey, I didn't make the rules of Mabeland.

Yes, you did. There's a tapestry of you making the rules.

All rise for the Honorable Judge Kitty Kitty Meow Meow Face Schwartzstein.

Order, order.

This trial begins right meow.

Oh! Ha ha!

Ahem. Judge?

Sorry, sorry.

We are here to try Dipper Pines

in the case of Fantasy vs. Reality.

If Dipper wins, Mabel will return with him

to the real world.

But if he loses, he will be banished forever,

and replaced with town darling Dippy Fresh.

Dippy, come on out.

Flip-a-dip-dip.

I hate him so much.

The final decision will be made by

a jury of your peers.

Hi there. I love your headband.

Shut your mouth. I love your headband.

We're all wearing the same headband.

Ha ha! Headband!

Look, Mabel, this whole thing is ridiculous.

But if winning a trial is what it takes to get you to come home with us,

then so be it.

I'm sorry, Dipper, but I can only speak through my legal team now.

We have a doctorate degree in hunkiness.

Also criminal and international law.

Let's hear opening statements.

Your Honor, townsfolk,

lovely ladies of the jury.

Oh, he's talking about us.

That's lovely.

My case is simple.

This very unrighteous dude thinks that reality is better than fantasy.

But reality is bogus, lame, and whack.

Objection, Your Honor. That's conjecture.

Meow-verruled!

I'd like to show you this "reality”

that Dipper loves so much.

Show you how it has wronged my client, and Dipper,

their entire lives.

Exhibit "A."

Mabel's scrapbook.

Second grade, October 10.

Photo day.

Darn allergies.

Boom! A million slap bracelets.

I'm gonna have the best photo ever.

And how do you like my new pigtails?

Have fun, brat.

You ruined my hair!

Dipper, what do I do?

Um, IL... well... I don't...

Mabel!

Mabel's fantasy was having a great school photo,

but reality had other plans.

Look, that was one bad day.

One of many. February 14, fourth grade.

- Valentine's Day. - Oh, come on, man. You can't...

How many Valentines did you get, Dipper?

Oh, hey, Dipper didn't get any.

Oh, man, I thought I was the class loser.

Hey, everyone, Dipstick didn't get any.

I can't believe that kid's your brother.

Hey, what's the point of all this?

That was in the past.

Is your life any better now, bro?

Heartbreak, disaster, broken promises.

That's reality for you.

Out there, it's nothing but heartbreak.

But in here, who wants pug sundaes?

Hand me a microphone, Xyler.

Totally righteous, bro.

- Are we brothers?? - I don't know.

I think we're ready for a verdict.

Wait! I haven't even presented my case.

Do you even have a case?

Yes, I do, Your Honor.

I call as a witness Mabel Pines.

Uh, objection?

I'll allow it.

Us cats are famously curious, meow meow.

Mabel, listen.

I might not have all the answers.

I'm not stylish, and I'm not cool,

and I can't make pugs appear out of thin air.

- Boo! - Guilty!

But I know one thing well, and that's you,

and I know that even though you might act like it,

you don't wanna be in this fantasy world.

Uh... pssshh! Yeah, right.

You're scared of growing up.

And who could blame you?

I'm scared, too.

Uh... la la la la la la la! I'm not listening.

Guards, the fingers.

Look, real life stinks sometimes, okay?

I'm not gonna lie.

There's a better way to get through it than denial,

and that's with help from people who care about you.

It's how we've gotten through our whole lives.

Just look.

Mabel, I figured out a way to fix your photo.

What? You have a wig?

No, but I have a razor.

You're crazy.

We've always been there for each other.

Mabel, I thought you were living a fantasy,

but look at me.

I actually thought I was gonna stay here

and be Ford's apprentice.

Spend my entire teens cooped up in a basement

with a lab coat. How ridiculous is that?

I don't know what's gonna happen in the future,

but whatever it is, you don't have to fear,

because we'll do it together.

I'm not taking Ford's apprenticeship.

We've traveled to heck and back to get you,

and we're going back together.

Leave this fantasy world.

Let's beat Bill and grow up together.

Order. Order in the court!

Dang it, why is this hammer squeaking?!

You mean it?

You're really coming home with me?

Yes. Definitely.

Absolutely.

Awkward sibling hug?

Don't do it!

You do this, and it's all over.

Sincere sibling hug.

Don't do the pats!

Pat, pat.

Oh, man.

I never noticed how bright this place is.

Ugh! Have I actually been listening to the same song

for an entire week?

Whoa, time to calm you down.

Uh, why isn't this working?

Because your reign over this land is over!

We gotta get outta here.

Soos, Wendy, Paradise is cancelled.

Everyone get on.

Take us to freedom, Giant Waddles. Yeah!

All right, guys, are you ready for this?

Sorry, Mabeland.

It's time to burst your bubble.

Whoa.

You all good? Everyone good?

We've missed you, Mabel.

Hey, Dipper, I appreciate what you said back there.

But if you wanna take Ford's apprenticeship,

I won't get in your way.

Pfft. Miss out on your awkward teen years?

You wish.

Man, I went nuts back there.

I mean, come on, the real world can't be that bad, right?

Oh, boy.

Where is everyone? The town's deserted.

Did Bill already win?

Come on, guys. Let's see if we can go hide out in the shack.

Yes! It's in shambles just like we left it.

Oh, man, this is the first time I've ever felt happy going to work.

Hello, house. Hello, porch.

Hello, wads of gum I left stuck to the couch.

Wait. What was that?

Sh!

Let's get 'em, dudes.

Yah!!

- Stan? - Kids?

Just so everyone knows, we're out of toilet paper.

Did I miss something?

Whoa, we survived.

But where are we?

Are we real?

Is this reality?

Jean-Paul Sartre postulated that

every existing thing is born without reason,

prolongs itself out of weakness,

and dies by chance.

Totally righteous, bro.

I know!