All language subtitles for 1 1 The.Real.Housewives.of.Miami.S07E03.Worst.Wedding.Ever.480p

Previously on The Real Housewives of
Miami.

How you feeling? Baby's moving out.

Hello. You realize we're old enough to
be grandparents.

We're going to get married in like a
week.

We're going to do the down and dirty
version.

I'm kind of used to being alone now.
Sometimes it's better. I know everyone's

calling me about all the stuff at the
tabloids and it's stressful for my kids.

Of course.

I just want to go to bed.

Again,

I've been dealing for the last three
weeks with my dad in the ICU.

Why are you here?

That is rude.

I'm so nervous.

Butterfly nervous.

Oh, that's cute.

I'm really excited about getting
married.

I'm going to cry.

I'm like in heaven right now. He's like
an angel.

Here's my beautiful and lovely wife.

I don't want anything to hex our wedding
day. This has to be

perfect.

Do you want to do this with the group or
you want to have... Hey, you're not

going to be producing, okay? Don't
scream at me. You're like a hyena. You

asked. You came... You use me. Good
Lord. I don't. I am a hyena and I'm your

artist. Look it down. Look it down,
hyena. Look it down. Can we see it? I

a few words.

Stop. Ladies.

This is the worst wedding party ever.

God.

Do you realize

that, like, you watch a little client
fashion show in

Milan? Like, holy shit.

This is huge.

You really have to take advantage of
your opportunity and, like, I'm excited

the journey.

The journey's a reward.

That was really good, actually. I need
to post that on Instagram.

Everybody loved you. They were saying,
oh, he's so nice, he's so handsome.

They're all dying.

They weren't talking about school.

You, you, you.

Okay, I'm going topless now, then. Okay.

Are you making my scrambled eggs? No,
I'm making banana bread for the boys.

Martina is cooking.

I can't talk while I'm doing this,
seriously.

Can't you multitask? I need to double
everything.

Baking soda, yes.

When are you going to memorize the
recipe?

Stop talking to me. Is one teaspoon two
tablespoons or anything the other way?

You remember this place?

Yeah. Go in this way.

I want to have a surprise celebration
for Marisol and

Steve because they're finally getting
officially legally married.

I wanted to invite you to dinner, you
and Steve and the boys.

Oh, that would be nice.

Well, make sure you wear something cute.

I feel like Marisol's not going to like
the surprise.

Oh, my God. So many good memories in
this bar.

I know. This is where I met Todd.

I think I picked Steve Spice because I'm
a masochist and I like to torture

myself holding on to those memories with
Todd.

Cheers, Frankie. Cheers to love and
happiness.

But I've also had a lot of fun and
naughty nights with Marisol and Steve

by the way.

You want to take me around?

Let's do it.

I feel like I'm on a yacht.

They always tell everybody, my yacht's
bigger than your yacht. Oh, my God.

And then you have the beautiful downtown
skyline. This is so perfect for

Marisol. Oh, my gosh.

Everything is set up for cocktails, hors
d 'oeuvres. The lighting coordinates

with the DJ.

I'm so excited. I've never been in any
of her weddings. Like, I need to

celebrate with her, whether it's her
first marriage or her last marriage.

We're going to hit. I've never been
there.

Neither has anybody else in her family,
by the way. So how is everything?

How's Todd, and how's that going?

Hey, it's hard.

It is hard.

Don't cry, Mommy, please.

Okay.

But it's been really hard. I got home.
Everything was missing. He had moved him

and his daughter out. He even took the
shampoo from the bathtub.

The one who's missing out is not you.
It's him. Yeah, yeah. Todd, don't mind

me.

Yeah, you know, it's hard. No, right.
No, it's hard to think I don't have like

Frankie because she's like my angel.

Frankie knows what's going on. You know,
just because he can't express himself

the way a lot of us can express
ourselves, his comprehension is there.

understands and he's very intuitive.

So Larsa knows about it. Gertie knows
about it. Julia knows about it. Kiki

knows. They all know about it except
Lisa.

But you know, Lisa doesn't answer her
phone.

Okay? Because all the girls are after
her. Like, I was telling her, but Lisa,

call you and you don't answer.

Right. Oh.

Hi.

Hey. I'm calling you because I wanted to
invite you to a marathon wedding

celebration that I'm doing for her. It's
a surprise.

I'm in Canada right now.

Oh, my God. Don't tell me your father
passed away.

Yeah. Oh, my God. No, Lisa. I'm so
sorry.

He wasn't conscious.

So I didn't get to have a moment with
him. I'm so sorry, my friend.

Thank you. I'm really sorry.

And, you know, you just have to envision
him in heaven looking over you.

It's okay, and I'm sure he loved you
unconditionally. At least you did spend

time with him, and he will be your angel
watching over you. I love you, and I

wish I could give you a big hug.

Okay.

Love you. Okay.

No, my love. You focus on you now and
your family.

Do you need anything here? Let me know.

Okay. Bye.

Love you.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Very sad.

That's like for real.

Me

and

Boobie are making it official.

When Steve and I met, all the stars
aligned.

I had a couple of friends that lived
here. So we were all hanging out at the

pool. Some guy comes to look at the
house.

Some guy.

So I guess I left my swimsuit in the
pool house. And then my friend calls me

says, hey, you know, the new owner found
your swimsuit. And then I text him so I

can pick up the swimsuit. He's like,
come soon. Why, you come Friday. Come

Friday night. And then I leave for three
days.

Sneakers or...

loafers. No, I like those sneakers.
Perfect for the motorcycle.

Yeah, Poppy's all dressed up. Yeah,
Poppy wore his pink bow tie today. Are

nervous? Yeah, a little bit. Me too. I'm
really nervous too.

It's so weird, right?

We're nervous because there's a lot of
money on the line between the two of us.

Oh my God, Lisa's father passed away.

That's horrible.

What happened?

I don't know what happened. I just heard
that he had been in ICU.

That's horrible.

It's just so weird that I'm sitting here
getting married and Lisa's going to

bury her father.

Life is quite the cycle, huh?

Poor thing.

All right, motorcycle's ready. Oh, my
God.

Wow, look at you.

What do you think, boobie? Like it?

I'm going to cry.

Don't cry.

Too pretty.

Life is short, and we're on that other
side of, how much shorter it's going to

be. I got mommy's bracelet for good
luck.

Beautiful. Thank you. It's from the 30s.
She brought it from Cuba. Had to have a

little bit of my mom with me today.
She's with us. Yeah, I wish she could

be my mom and dad.

I'm, like, very sentimental about it
today.

I know.

You know, my parents got really sick,
really old, and when they couldn't...

speak for themselves or take care of
themselves.

You know, they had me and my brothers,
but I don't have any children.

So Steve and I decided that we need to,
you know, be able to access each

other's funds, take care of each other,
protect each other, make decisions for

each other.

We know we're going to be together
forever, so it's just something we need

that's legal in the state of Florida.

Just don't go too fast because I'm like
a first timer with this situation.

If my mother could see me, she'd kill
me. I don't like this.

My mother would be like, you don't get
on that motorcycle, you will die.

Ready?

I've ridden Steve's hog many times. It's
not the orange one.

I'm positive I want you to pull him.

Oh, my God.

Holy.

All right, let me get off. Don't burn my
thighs.

Yeah, please.

See how limber I am? Uh -huh. That's why
you want to marry me.

Ready? Third time's a charm.

Turn around. There you go.

Ready? Yeah.

Help wind blow. Yeah.

He's just.

I believe we did it.

I never met anybody so kind and selfless
in my life.

I love you.

Love you too.

And I'm the happiest I've ever been in
my life.

Can't get rid of him now.

And by the way, he can get his money
now.

Welcome to Lovely Cafe. Thank you.

I would like one decaf cappuccino. What
kind of milk would you like?

Skin milk.

Oat milk?

No, regular skin milk. Like, skin milk.
Regular milk.

We are a vegan restaurant. Oh, you're
vegan.

I'm like 80 % vegetarian. I love fruits
and vegetables, but everybody knows I

love a good French sausage.

I can't stop liking French blood
sausage.

You're here.

Oh, look at you. Are you texting your
boyfriend?

No, no, it's actually about my car
insurance.

Oh, okay.

How are you?

I'm good. Good to see you.

Finally. It's been a long summer.

You didn't call me.

You can pick up the phone and call me,
too. Of course I can.

But then, you know, I was like, why
isn't she calling me? I miss my friends.

Like, everybody's calling me.

How's the boys? What happened? Congrats.

I was a bit surprised that he didn't
tell me before. Everybody else telling

truth.

We finally did it. We finally expanded
our family. Oh, my God.

Alexia already saw the boys.

Maybe I was a little resentful.

Julia is my best friend.

You, Adriana de Mura, promised me that
you will be my best friend forever.

Nobody ever will come between us.

I felt a little disappointed.

Since I had been with her through the
process of adoption, it would have felt

better if she had told me privately
before, but she didn't. You know, I

should have told you before.

Yeah, it would have been nice.

I feel the distance right now, and I
feel like it's because she decided to

closer and closer to Alexia and Marcel.

But the most important thing is she got
the boys, and I'm happy for her.

I have something to ask you.

Can I hold a boy baby shower for you
from the boys?

Boy baby shower? Yeah.

I want to host one for you.

Host? Yeah.

Yes, please.

Yes. So I'll make up for you by giving
you a nice baby shower for the boys.

Who's ready to stretch?

I'm with the troublemaker over here.

So we are gathered here today. The horse
is out.

To stretch.

And that's what we're going to do now on
the table. I'm going to stretch you

guys. Everyone thinks that having cancer
is the hard part, but the life after

cancer is hard, too, because I'm still
struggling to find out, like, who is

new girl that I'm looking at every day
in the mirror. I think we need to plan

for our next procedure.

Do we keep doing this over and over and
over?

Russell advised to take a step back
after having my last surgery, and I'm

trying to do anything and everything to
help me feel sexy again.

Good? You tell me where. Before I make
the decision to see if I'm going to go

under the knife or not. So let's
stretch.

Look at you.

I haven't forgot my waist. Okay, I see
how you got two beautiful boys.

Gertie. has been struggling with
insecurities, you know, with her body,

-cancer. And it felt... Oh, wow.

I think Gertie's more flexible than me.

Stretching also helps you in the
bedroom, so hopefully she's more open to

Russell, intimately.

Let's do this!

Let's do it!

Thank you so much.

I used to be able to have my legs all

the way behind my neck. You okay?

Holy shit.

I'm literally shaking.

That's a good stretch.

Oh, you're getting a bonus stretch right
there, bro. Hold on. This is... I need

a husband. I need a husband.

Husband.

Right. Now close.

Keeping your husband... Is that vibrator
doing his job? Is the vibrator broken?

Oh, my God. She's got a dildo.

You do me, I do you. This feels like a
porno.

But anyway, what's been going on? No, we
need to catch up. Yeah, tell me. Where

are you with the ladies?

I know the summer where everyone was
traveling. I had two surgeries. I was

key. And by the way, Alexa checked in on
me so much, like so much. Well, Alexa

decided to put like a girls' night
dinner together a couple of days ago.

Okay.

Is Gertie and Adriana coming?

Well, I see two seats. I don't know.

Where's your drink?

Part of the problem some of these ladies
are having with you is that Gertie come

across as like she's too much, she's
very extra,

she's very this, she's very that, she's
this, she's that.

Tell me what you've been up to. Well, I
met actually with Gertie and Lisa.

Gertie was saying how things aren't good
between you and her.

I've been feeling weird vibes coming
from Julia.

She says that she doesn't understand
what she has done to you.

She makes it about herself.

That's her aim.

And you know what? I have no time for
that.

Julia said she had a problem with you
because you did something. When you guys

were on that cruise, you kind of like
were there to get attention.

Apparently, my really good friend Julia
has been talking about me behind my

back. What was it that did to you on the
cruise?

A few months back, Martina and I were
invited to this fabulous cruise.

Unfortunately, that morning of the
departure, Martina got a little health

so she chose to stay home, and I called
Gertie. I get a call from Julia who

says, Oh, my God.

I need your help. Can you go with me,
please?

She said, would you like me to come with
you? She asked me to because she was

distraught and needed emotional support.
I went on the cruise to support a

friend. It's the basics of it all. The
entire trip made it all about herself.

Connections she would make there,
pictures she would take there, and never

asked me, Julia, how are you doing? And
how is Martina doing? Never one.

There were a lot of things throughout
this boat cruise, and I gave Gertie many

chances. And then I've seen with my own
eyes how she acted with others.

I just feel uncomfortable in her
company.

I don't know what's her deal, but trust
you be me, whatever she's saying out

there, it ain't what it ain't. It was a
cruise. We stay in this beautiful suite,

and she get old Martinez massages.

And all the lunches and all the dinner,
except this one dinner where Martina was

supposed to go.

And because she didn't go, the person
removed her from the guest list.

Gertie threw such a fit at me. She
reprimanded me that she was supposed to

plus one.

She was supposed to take Martina's
space.

But it's kind of weird that I'm here on
the cruise for you, but then you just

switch it up on me and tell me to hold
back, go eat at that restaurant over

there, which, by the way, did not even
have my reservation. I felt like a teeth

filler. So it made me feel less than,
and now she has the nerve to. I'm like,

betrayed her.

Julia's trying to, like, ruin my, like,
talk about me to the group so that they

don't like me or be more on her side.

This is bizarre. It's bizarre.

You may need to tone it down. I'm your
friend. You got to listen to me. I

to you. Maybe tone it down a little bit
because they really feel like you're

just being extra.

Maybe they need to go deeper and
understand that this is part of your

personality. There's nothing wrong with
my personality.

She's not letting me finish my talk.
She's not listening.

Gertie is doing to me exactly what I'm
telling her that the girls don't like

about her.

We're going to work through the weeds
and pull them out because I ain't got

for hypocrisy. Not doing that.

I think I should say something at the
funeral.

My brother thing, I don't think it
should be all on him. I'm just so

don't know what to say. Like, I've
never, you know, spoken at a funeral

Like, it's like... But just keep in
mind, like, when you look back on this,

you'll be way happier if you said
something.

I didn't have this perfect childhood.

I think he tried his best, but I just
didn't take it like that.

And look.

He was an alcoholic.

You know, that's how I remember a lot of
interactions with my dad, and seeing

that as a little girl, that was hard.

And I just stepped away, and I didn't
really want to have anything to do with

him. I had no idea that he, like, loved
me so much, you know?

Oh, look at these.

Daddy's girl.

I feel like I look a lot like him.

This is so sweet.

He kept your little gloves.

I never thought he was the type to keep
something like this.

The last year we tried, like, and there
just wasn't enough time. And it was too

late.

We all make mistakes.

The fact that he tried and I didn't let
him in in time is really heartbreaking.

Because when I was ready, it was too
late.

I missed, like, so many opportunities to
have him know my kids.

Like, he was just so happy that my aunt
Della said that was one of the

highlights of his life.

And you can literally say that.

Oh, thank you for being here for me.

Your blood will always be there for you
no matter what. Not even your husband or

your boyfriend or anyone like that.
Like, they can come and go, too. It

matter if you have a kiss together,
clearly.

But your parents will always be your
parents.

I would like to tell him I forgive him,
and I would like to tell him that I

understand and I'm a parent now.

You need to forgive. You need to forgive
your parents if you have any issues

with your parents.

Don't hold grudges.

Life is short.

I just wish I had more time with my dad.

Ice cream.

Hi. Wait to check out this place.

Welcome. Welcome.

Come on in.

My name is Java Chip. Go ahead and come
up with your own ice cream name.

Dilijan. We're going to name her Dilijan
because that's someone in Haiti. Okay.

Do that.

Dilijan. She likes to dictate.

All right.

I brought my mom here from Haiti.

And in the Haitian culture, it's very
important to support your parents. So I

make sure that she stays with me,
everything is paid for.

I'm the nutcracker. The nutcracker.

Go ahead, nutcracker.

My mom doesn't understand what I'm
saying, so it's perfect.

You know, I'm just grateful she helped
with the children so I can bring the

Ching Ching back home.

All right.

Let's go.

Chocolate.

Hi,

guys. These are banana slits. Chocolate.

Well, you can try new things.

Wow. There must be monkeys somewhere.

This is way too many bananas, right?

Yeah. Which bananas do you like?
Chocolate.

Whoa, look.

It's an outbreak.

Yeah. Come here.

Come here.

No. She doesn't want this one.

She's like, chocolate all day,
chocolate, chocolate.

It's ice cream.

This is for you.

This is not for me.

It's not for you? Which one are you
looking for?

Chocolate. We're going to have chocolate
soon, Tati.

Can we order ice cream while we're
sitting?

You want it in a cup or a cup? Come tell
her what you like.

What do you say, Summer?

Thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Anyway, so what about Papa? I understand
you did everything you could to make

sure that my Papa was okay.

And he's coming from Haiti, so I'm
making a plan to...

See if I can pick him up from the
airport.

He treated you like crap, by the way.

I don't know, Mama.

After 10 years of not speaking to my
dad, he started reaching out to me.

I've been on my own since I was 15.

Get kicked out on the street with a
black belt.

The rain.

Haitian parents, they believe that once
you start taking photos with something a

little bit skanky, bikinis, now you're a
porn star, you know? A few years later,

went back with my stepmother.

Bottom line, she called him, told him,
hey, I don't want her here anymore.

I'm going to kick her out. And he didn't
even say anything. He just said, kick

her out.

So I'm trying here, you know, to forgive
him and move past it. But it's still

hard now. Yeah. To my dad, I also want
him to be involved in Shomar's life.

He doesn't know anything about Shomar.
He knows a little bit about this one

because I started to reconnect with him.

Summer barely knows my dad, and I think,
besides all the differences I have with

my dad, I feel like it's important for
my kids to know him, especially seeing

Lisa, who didn't have much of a
relationship with her dad, and her dad

passed away.

Getting back together, that's all that
matters.

The sugar is working. Oh, my God.

You want to go with Mommy?

Mommy's teeth are coming out.

Coming up. You've been talking behind my
back all summer.

You're talking about the group.

I'm a hyena and I'm proud to be. I'm
just calling you out.

Hi, beautiful.

Oh, my goodness. Look at you.

Oh,

my goodness. You look beautiful. Thank
you.

What do you think?

Love it. Couldn't be more perfect.

Hi. This is Maritha's brother.

Oh, hi. How are you? Nice to meet you.
And his son, Hunter. Hi.

I like your earrings. Really pretty.
Thank you. This is a gift from Todd.

You know, he does have good taste. Oh,
they got a lot of bling. Yeah.

I love these.

Hi, B. How are you?

Good, and you?

Good. Hi, guys. This is Larsa.

Hunter and Tom. This is Marisol's
family.

Oh, my God. Why did Marisol get the
height?

She needed the height.

They're like the tall people.

I haven't seen you. I know.

How was your trip?

So good.

What's going on with you and Todd?

Things better? Worse?

I mean, last week I had, like, a
breakdown.

You guys aren't healthy!

You're not doing it. I can't go back to
this guy. He's a f***ing monster!

You know, I'm, like, in an emotional
limbo, and then, you know, that 30 -day

notice. That's so crazy. You have to
make a decision, no? Well, I mean...

I mean, he kind of does. You know, like,
the ball's really more, like, on his

court. Is Alexia losing her memory?

Todd is not that great.

And I don't think I could be waiting for
my husband to tell me if we're staying

together or breaking up. To me, that's a
deal -breaker in itself.

You've let this guy control your heart
like it's dangerous.

I got so many stares. Should have worked
any shoes.

Where's this party? How come I don't
hear any noise?

Hi. Hey, baby.

Oh, I'm so happy you wore white. Keith,
you wore white? Of course. You don't

have to piss off Marisol.

Wait, is everybody wearing white?

Do I get a kiss?

Hi, baby. Hi, baby. Guys, my heels hurt.
We should go sit down. My dress is kind

of tight.

Do you have the Jessica Rabbit vibe? Do
we have anybody else coming besides

Marisol? Gertie.

Speaking of Gertie, she feels like Julia
is brainwashing you guys.

Oh! Is she that threatened of me?

I'm here to party, honey. All right.

Hi, guys.

Hi. You look gorgeous.

You look amazing.

Hey, boo. I want to... Hi, I know that.

You're just like a friend I used to
know. How are you?

So do you.

How funny.

Julia, she's been playing Betty Boop.

And I am watching and I am ready. What
are you drinking, white wine?

Yes. Get a drink, come sit.

Hi, how are you?

Can you make something like a cucumber
vodka and no tipping jar? Thank God.

It's a family dinner.

Starving. I feel like I look expensive.

You are.

Tell Mommy she looks pretty.

You need a parrot.

People wake up with a lot of different
things.

We're dudes.

My clothes are on the floor.

I woke up with a dye.

I'm looking at you. It's hard.

More blurry. Perfect.

Can we just keep that whole platter next
to us? Boy, Marisol is going to get

here. There's no more food.

How are you?

Good. How's the marathon this year? I
think so. Boy, it's hard to see with the

patch. You know what, guys? Marathon
Steve are here. Do I have to hide

I don't know.

I see a lot of people.

So nice.

Thank you.

Congrats.

Did you know?

I did not know.

Wait, she has one eye. She's a pirate.
She's like a pirate.

What happened to your eyes, Marisol?

What did Tim do to you last night?

Is it Halloween already?

I didn't realize it was a costume party.

Thank you. I thought I was just going to
dinner. I look like a schlub. Hi.

Everybody was so quiet today.

Alexia nailed the guest list. And I'm
really happy about the fact that she

forgot somebody's phone number.

Her name starts with an A.

We can hug like this. By the way, are we
going to call me mommy?

We can do step -mommy.

Step -mommy?

Let's call her Ma.

Ma? Ma.

That sounds like a fat old hillbilly.
How do you feel to be married? When I

up this morning, you know, Steve always
wakes up and gives me kisses every

morning. And this morning, he goes, I
love you, wifey. And I was like, oh!

Oh, I'm blooming, my bloomers. Welcome
home, wifey.

I like the pirate look, though. Does it
feel like dad?

I feel like I'm channeling dad.

Well, you always said he sounded like a
pirate, too. He did. He had the same

growly voice like you. My cousins always
tell me, you're married to your father.

He looks like him. He sounds like him. I
don't think Steve looks like dad, do

you? Not nearly as mean as dad was,
that's for sure.

Marisol! I gotta go. Everyone eat up. Do
your thing, do your thing. This should

be your new look, honey.

I have an all new respect for people who
have lost an eye. It's very

constricting. I wanna hear about Milan.

Yeah, duh. So we get there. We were
having a conversation about my ex. And I

said, I don't want blogs to say that my
friend is hanging out with my ex and

he's publicly bashing me. That doesn't
make me feel good. You're trying to move

on from this relationship. Exactly. And
it doesn't help when your friends keep

it there.

Like, no offense, but, like, Lisa's my
friend. So if you guys break up, I'll

never speak to you again. My loyalty is
to Lisa.

So apparently that really bothered him.

Fast forward, Lisa and I, we started to
get along.

She's like, you know, you're right. I'm
going to unfollow your ex. I'm going to

do everything right. I'm sorry. That's
good.

We made progress. Good. But the last
night of Milan, Jodi gets so crazy.

She doesn't want us to talk anymore,
yelling over us. Why? Why?

I'm going to show you a photo.

Oh, you're getting medical with the
eyeballs.

Some people suffer from that disease
that their eyeballs come out. Okay.

That's fibroid.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

He gets so crazy.

He doesn't want us to talk anymore.
Yelling over us. How big were his

I'm going to show you a photo. Oh, my
God.

I've seen Jody's eyes looking crazy
before, but this was a special crazy

Why was he?

Oh, my God.

Jody's eyes look big, but, you know,
I've never even noticed what his eyes

on the rag.

Girl, those are Jody's eyes.

That's his look.

He looks completely normal. That could
have been a flash issue. Sometimes,

the flash in the camera blinds your eye,
and you're like...

I took Lisa aside and I said, look, I
love you and I want to make amends with

you. I was like, he's using you. He's
not good for you. And she's like, I love

him. I love him. And I was like, he's
controlling.

Honestly, I'm concerned about her
because I think he wants her money.

Her dad's money.

She will never get on a call these days.
A business call without him on the

phone. Yeah, do you remember that deal?
Like, what's happening?

Did you keep me copied on it?

Yeah, you're always copied on it.

I'm Rachel Dean. Hold.

And you said, no, I want to send this.

Um.

And then what you said?

What's strange?

It's the mirrors.

Keep everything straight.

Don't let anything drop.

Yeah.

So he's playing manager.

That's scary.

How did you and Lisa end it? What
happened? Did you fly on the same

you say goodbye?

I left.

Did you invite her tonight?

Lisa's father passed away, so Lisa's in
Canada.

Wait, can we switch sides?

Because I can't see Larsa out of my eye.

I don't like that Larsa picked this time
to talk about Lisa and Jodi while Lisa

is grieving her father's death.

So I was texting with Lisa earlier, and
she said to me, you know, it's

complicated with family. When someone
dies, everyone has certain feelings.

Do you know how close she was to her
dad? They just made up. They just made

And the kids went. It was nice. So she
holds a lot of guilt.

So, you know, she's going through a lot.

Marisol, congratulations.

Marisol, congratulations on your
wedding!

That's how we say it.

I was like, whoa.

Am I crazy? Because they call me too
much. Yet, Julia

is the most extra of us all.

Hello. Can I be her tequila blanca?

Oh, my God.

Julia. She's got a problem with me.

My friend. My friend. Oh, my God. I
really, really love you. Kiss. Kiss. Oh,

God. I'm, like, watching you kiss. I
don't understand. I want to talk to her.

I think that's the best thing.

Julia.

I think you two really should talk. We
can definitely talk. I don't know about

that. You want to do this with the group
or you want to have... Hey, you're not

going to be producing, okay? You're not
buying anything and you're not... How

many of those are you live? I am not.
We're not talking then. You're

You're like a hyena. I'm screaming. I'm
a hyena. This is at the farm. Oh, I have

a farm.

Okay, come on. You've been talking
behind my back all summer.

Talk and make up and look at her.

My mother will be mortified. Tell them,
act like ladies.

I'm so sorry. Look at this. What
happened?

I'm sorry. You were in my suite, in my
jacuzzi, okay? Talking badly about

Alexia. Talking badly about her. What is
happening? Ew. I am a hyena, and I'm

proud of you.

Look her down. Look her down, hyena.
Look her down, okay? What are you going

do, touch me?

Oh, my God.

Good Lord.

Jesus Christ.

Cocktail, please.

Look her down. Really? Yeah. Find your
words.

Find your words. Don't speak on me.

She's been all summer talking to
everybody but me.

It's just ridiculous. Why would I want
to talk to you? You're so self

I took you on the boat because you
wanted to go.

Get your ass down. Girl, bye.

Get your ass down. Get your ass down.
The performance is over. This is

not an opera show.

We were all invited, actually, in one
cruise. There were three itineraries. I

chose itinerary one. She couldn't make
it. It was myself, Russell.

We were on this cruise. Had the most
amazing time. We get off the cruise. I

a phone call. Julia is hysterical.

Gertie, oh, my God. Martina cannot make
it.

Please, Gertie, come be with me. And I'm
like, I just got home. I'm literally

unpacking. I'm with Russell.

What's wrong? She's literally
hysterical.

Good friend that I am.

Julia, what's wrong with Martina? She
does not want me to know. She says, I

tell you on the ship.

Manipulator. And I say, okay, I'm going
to go on the ship. I'm going to go.

I literally re -talked. I literally re
-talked.

Psychopath theory.

Be quiet.

Don't you tell this.

I get

a phone

call. Julia is hysterical.

Gertie, oh my God. Martina cannot make
it. Please, Gertie, come be with me. I

literally re -talked. I literally re
-talked. Be quiet.

Guys, you wanted there.

Oh, my God. Guys, this is such a lie.

This is theatrical.

I'm not doing anything.

I will never. Alexia. Excuse me.

Don't pull me away because I'm not that
person.

All she wanted was to promote herself.
She wanted to be invited to a very

special event because Captain Sandy was
there. Oh, Captain Sandy, who we were

just hanging out with the night before?

She's not. Something's wrong. I'm
telling you.

And I felt kind of like.

humiliated in the sense of like, why
couldn't I go when I met the person who

holding it? Never once she asked me, how
is Martina feeling?

To me, it's very clear.

Gertie was there for Gertie.

I'm going to continue this story.

I just don't like this. I don't like
this.

Low class, lowest class, no class.

Let's get back to the problem at hand.
Martina is the issue. Martina has an

issue. She gets on the boat and leaves
Martina. That's the issue.

And you're trying to like spin it all
around.

Do you get involved in my family?

You invited me on the ship to be with
you because of Martina. I never invited

you. That makes sense. That makes sense.
Just the same way that you got a

facelift while Martina was in New York
getting chemo.

Don't deflect.

Okay? I'm not deflecting. You need to
look at yourself and really realize what

you're doing. All you got to do is say,
Gertie, I have a problem with you. You

waited almost a year.

A year.

And all of a sudden, a couple weeks ago.
I did not wait.

Who has the motive?

Gertie.

If I get water thrown to my face, I will
say my point and leave.

I wouldn't just sit there and be like,
bring it on.

I came in dry.

I leave all wet.

Thank you very much.

I'm leaving. Who knows what's next?

I don't know if it's going to be a
bottle of champagne.

I don't know. Imagine.

We're not going to fix the pond tonight.
This is crazy.

But I want to say something. We're here
for a marathon.

Oh, thanks.

Were we?

I feel like I'm the pawn of a sorority
haze. So you know what?

Kudos, Julia. You just made the mean
girl sorority.

Steve,

Boo Bear, come.

Oh. Boo Bear. This has been such a
magical evening. What can I say?

Memorable. It'll be memorable. Yes. How
lucky am I?

How can a friend say those things to me?
I feel embarrassed in front of Marisol

for allowing Gertie to get the best of
me. I just wanted her to stop.

Next time on The Real Housewives of
Miami.

You must really love me if you're flying
with me to go get pebbles. When I met

Daphne, it was love at first sight. I
grew up on a farm. I had to put my

in the chicken's butt to see if there
was eggs in it. Oh, my God. This big

standing over you is upsetting.

She's like chewing your heart.

Martina would never say that a baby
shower is boring again.

You were talking about Lisa. I put my
dad in the ground.