Original subtitles

Thank you for being a friend.

Thank you for being a friend.

I have some bad news.

Gladys Goldfein called. She broke her hip. So she wants you to take her

to the Price is Right.

Bad news?

What are you, nuts? This is wonderful news.

But who could this be bad news?

Gladys Goldfein.

I don't follow.

Sophia, the woman broke her hip.

Oh, boo -hoo.

She took the risks and now she's paying the price.

Risk? What was she doing when it happened?

Getting out of bed.

Every one is a daredevil.

Sophia, not to burst your bubble, but the price is right as in two days. Now,

Bob Barker should choose you to be a contestant, how are you going to pay for

plane ticket to L .A.? Don't you worry about me.

I have a plan.

And a hostage.

Stop it.

Look, Sophia, in the first place, you're lousy if the price is right. I am not.

And in the second place, do you know how much a round -trip ticket to L .A.

costs with two days' notice?

Forty dollars, Bob.

You're not going. I'm going. Well, in that case, good luck.

Yeah, break a leg.

Break a leg, $300.

Hey, Ron. Oh, your mom's looking for you, ma 'am.

Oh, yeah, we're supposed to spend the day together. You know, I've been kind

worried about her ever since that divorce.

You know, she's been really lonely, but at least I can be there for her, support

her, you know, comfort her, stay by her side.

Oh, by the way, Camille Jenkins' call says she's free tonight.

But now the time has come for Mom to stand on her own two feet.

I can't believe this. I've been trying to get a date with this girl for months.

I'm going to send her a box of candy every week just to get her to say yes.

what does she look like?

Oh, well, when I met her, she was fine.

But if she's been eating all that candy... Oh, no, what have I done, man?

Well, hello there.

Checking in?

I sure am.

Oh, Mr. Sardisco, this is Blanche Devereaux. She's one of the owners of

hotel. Oh, well, you've got a lovely place here. Well, thank you.

Rose, I can take over now.

But beat it, Rose.

Well, Mr. Sardisco, I see you're in room 214. You're traveling alone?

I've got my darling Flo out in the van.

Married. Take it, Rose.

No.

No, I'm not married.

Darling Flo is my greyhound.

Why didn't you say so? Beat it, Rose.

So, what brings you to town?

Well, I'm racing my greyhound at the dog track this Wednesday.

Wow, you must be fast.

Would you mind if I went out to the van to say hello to her? I adore dogs.

They're so affectionate and lovable.

And smart, too. They play poker. I've seen the pictures.

Well, I haven't been to the Greyhound races in a while, but...

If your dog is half as good looking as you are, maybe I'll just take myself out

of that track on Wednesday and face a little wager.

Hey, where do you think the odds are going to be on this store?

Well, she had a little trouble the last couple of times out, but she's been

training well, so I guess about six to one.

Sounds like a plane ticket to me. Sophia Petrillo, come on down.

Hold it. Just because I think she's a winner, you've got to remember there's

such thing as a sure thing.

You want to bet?

Honey, what do you say we take a drive to the marina today? And then I was

thinking we'd try that new Italian place for dinner tonight.

Oh, oh, Mom, listen, about tonight, I'm not going to be able to make it. The

hotel is just way too busy.

I understand, baby. You've got work

to do.

I'll just stay in my room and catch up on my reading.

I don't work too hard around here tonight.

I'll try not to, Mom. I'm rolling.

Yeah. Have fun with Camille.

arranged it.

And it wasn't easy. I had to send her candy every day of the week. But don't

worry, I told her it was from you.

That's not what I'm worried about, Mom.

Hi, Sophia.

Now look what you did. You made me lose track.

Oh, well, I'll either be up all night or I'll see you on Thursday.

darling Flo company.

Will you stop bothering that dog? She has to psych herself up for the race

tomorrow. I'm counting on her to win me enough money so I can get me a handful

of Bob Barker.

Oh, Roman, are you back from your date already?

Yeah, what are you guys still doing up?

It's 8 .30.

Did you and Camille hit it off? I repeat, it's 8 .30.

It's early. Big deal. Doesn't mean we didn't have a good time.

Look, I'm going to go on upstairs.

Rose, thanks a lot for keeping an eye on my mom for me tonight.

Oh, don't thank me.

No, I really appreciate it. No, I mean I didn't have to keep an eye on her. She

went out to lunch with Chewie and we haven't seen her since.

Wait a minute.

Chewie and my mom spent the whole day together?

But it's late. It's late 30.

Thank you, Sophia.

No, you didn't. I swear I got it.

Well, look who's back.

Mom and Chewy.

Chewy and Mom.

That's so weird. It is like two words that don't even belong together.

So where you two been?

Listen to me like it's any of my business.

So where you two been?

Well, Chewy was kind enough to take me down to the mall this afternoon, and

we had lunch, and then we talked, and then we took a drive and talked some

I guess we just lost track of time.

Besides, it's not that late.

What are you doing home from your date with Camille? It's not that early

man. I mean, it's already, uh... 8 .30!

What are you doing here, honey?

Didn't you have a good time with Camille?

Oh, yeah, she was great, but by the end of the date, she had this real nasty

thing on her arm.

What? Another guy.

But, hey, the good news is I'm free tomorrow, so I can spend the day with

Oh, Chewie and I are going to brunch tomorrow.

We found this adorable place on the beach that makes blueberry pancakes.

Well, why don't you stay here and have pancakes?

Can I hit the pancakes here?

Why? Because I have to make them.

Well, okay, you two go ahead and have a good time. I'll just stay here and have

some Pop -Tarts. Pop -Tarts, $1 .49, Bob.

Why didn't you tell me Chewie and Roland's mother were dating?

Thank you for a wonderful evening.

No, no, I want to thank you.

You know, you go around from town to town with a dog, you forget how to talk

people. And I just wanted to say, you know, you're a good girl. You're a good

girl.

I kind of like dog people.

How old did you say I was again?

Seven. Yes.

Well, today's a big day.

Now, honey, you just remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose.

all love you just the same. Right, everybody?

Look, Rover.

You lose this race, you won't be the only one around here eating Alpo.

Alpo, 79 cents a can, Bob.

You better be getting over to the track. Can I give you ladies a lift?

Well, that'd be wonderful.

Sophia and I'll just get our purses.

I'll go to the van, get the muzzle. Oh, that won't be necessary. We just give

her one beer at the track.

What about your dog?

Now, I know you'll do your best, but if by any chance you should lose, remember,

there's always next time. And I'm afraid if she loses, there won't be a next

time for this little girl. What do you mean?

Well, you only get so many chances when you're a racing dog. If she doesn't come

into the money today, I'll have to put her down.

Well, I don't think insulting her is going to help.

You know, Mrs. Nyland, by putting a dog down, I mean putting her to sleep.

What?

But she's...

Still so young and healthy.

Well, that doesn't have anything to do with it. I mean, if Greyhound loses

or four races, we don't really have a choice.

Because, you see, it's their winnings that pay for the cattle costs and the

trainers and everything.

Well, that still doesn't make it right.

And I want nothing to do with it.

No, I'm serious.

I think I gained ten pounds. this morning. Oh, get out of here. You got a

figure. Oh, you're too sweet.

I better go find Ro and let him know I'm back.

And thanks for brunch.

Hey.

My pleasure.

Oh, bye.

All right, see you later.

Hey, Ro, what's happening?

Wow, that's cool, man. How'd he get that big vein in your head to bulge out like

that?

You kiss my mom on the lips?

Hey, well, they don't call me Chewy the Lipos.

Hey, man, I'm just an innocent little peck.

Chewy, my mom is going through a messy divorce right now, okay? She's very

vulnerable. The last thing she needs is you giving her little innocent pecks.

Hey, well, I got news for you, pal. I mean, your mother could do a lot worse

than to hang out with one of the top chefs in Miami.

Well, I wouldn't mind that, man. I just don't want her dating you.

Is this a racial thing?

No, it's a Chewy thing, man.

All right, that's it, man. I'll have to take this. Look, just stay away from

her, all right?

Yeah, I got a better idea. Why don't I just stay away from you?

But I tell you what, if your mom and I ever do get married, you can kiss that

father -son picnic goodbye.

Boy,

they rent these things for five bucks. What a ripoff. You can hardly see it.

Somebody stole my dog.

Now, from now on, you're a

Dalmatian fire dog.

Would you like a dog, yummy?

believe what happened at the track today. Get out of here.

I didn't tell you what happened yet.

Oh, I know. I was just talking to the devil.

You were saying?

Oh, somebody stole Mr. Sardisco's dog right before the race.

You're kidding me.

Hey, I love this stuff. No, Sophia, I wouldn't...

memories. Of what?

This is the same trail mix they used to serve us at Shady Pines.

Woof, that's good.

Hey, is Chewie in here? Haven't seen him. Good.

Have you two had a little tiff?

I'm a grown man. We don't have tiffs, all right? We had a fight, an out -and

-out fight.

Who threw the first punch?

We had a tiff.

Rose, cheesecake.

Get over here and tell us what happened now, honey. What is it?

Look, Chewy and my mother are... They're seeing each other.

Yeah? Well, that's great.

But wait a minute. If Chewy should marry your mom, that would make you... A

convicted killer.

Oh, Roland, I think I know why you're upset, honey.

See, no matter how old we are, it's very difficult for us to think of our

parents as sexual beings.

You know, I think Blanche has a very... Oh, my God, no, not my parents. Not my

parents. Easy, easy, not your parents.

I'm sure that after you, they didn't want to take that chance again.

I'm just worried about my mom.

I mean, she's an old woman. She's practically 50.

I just said something really awful, haven't I?

Look, Roland, your mother's life didn't end just because her marriage did. You

ought to be glad she's out there living instead of just sitting watching it pass

by. Yeah, but why Chewy?

Well, so she's saying Chewy. If he makes her happy, that's all that counts.

I guess.

Look, I gotta go take a walk. I got a lot to think about. Look, Roland, I know

what you're going through, but just remember, things could be worse.

I mean, your mother could start dating Chewy.

I drifted during the conversation,

didn't I?

Blanche? Hey, did you find out who stole your doll? Yeah, I sure did. She's

sitting right here.

I have no idea what you're talking about. Cut the dumb act.

Believe me, it's no whack.

Look, now, don't deny it. You knew what would happen to that dog if it lost, and

one of the trainers said they saw a blonde sneaking around the training

Believe me, she's no blonde.

Charlie, now, look here. If Rose says she didn't take your dog, then she

take your dog, and I would bet my reputation on it.

Oh,

well, no big loss.

I'm so sorry about this. I had no idea.

But you're not going to press charges, are you? No, no. I just want my dog

Now, I know Miss Nyland thought she was doing what was best, but she just

doesn't understand our sport.

Oh, I understand your sport all too well.

I made some calls, and frankly, I think your sport stinks.

Rose! They kill these greyhounds, Blanche. According to the Humane

kill 50 ,000 of them a year.

What? If this dog loses two or three races, they consider it useless and they

kill it. Now, wait a minute. Look, my friends and I, we take care of our dogs.

They eat good, they get plenty of exercise, they lead a good life.

what? And for how long?

I just don't understand how people can keep letting this go on.

I mean, something outlives its usefulness and you destroy it?

Well, Sophia can't work as hard as she used to.

It costs money to feed and clothe her. Maybe it'd just be easier if we put her

to sleep.

Tell him, Rose.

She is just trying to prove a point, isn't she?

Well, I can see you're one of those people, so there's no sense in trying to

through to you.

If I'm one of those people, you mean somebody who thinks killing 50 ,000 dogs

year is horrible? Well, yes, then, I guess I am. Look, uh... I've got darling

Flo entered in the second race tomorrow.

Blanche, you want me to stop by? Oh, no, thank you. I'm one of those people,

too. Mrs. Petrello, what about you? I think she's got a good chance.

Never. I don't want to be on the prices right that badly.

Suit yourself.

No, wait, Flo.

Blanche. I know, I know, but honey, it's his dog.

I'm glad you guys are back.

Hey, Chewie, you still mad at me, man?

He's not the only one.

He told me what you said earlier.

Roland, what is your problem?

I'm sorry, Mom, okay? I was just being overprotective.

Look, Chewie, it's not you, man. It's any guy.

But if you guys want to spend time together, then you know what? That's

business. You mean that?

Look, you guys spent the whole day together. I'm not freaking out now, am

So where'd you guys go anyway? The beach?

Can I tell him? Yeah, sure.

We went to the Metro Hotel.

What? I'm not in some sleazy hotel.

Roland, Roland, he took me to support group.

Divorce support group. Let him go.

Divorce support group. Divorce support group.

I'm sorry.

See, that's how you get that big vein to bulge out in your head like that.

Get out of here.

You're crazy, man.

I'm sorry. I just heard the word hotel and I thought that you two, you know.

thought I'd be attracted to Chewy?

Me and Chewy.

Chewy.

Me.

What the hell am I laughing at?

Why didn't you tell me you were going to a divorce support group?

Well, because you tease me and give me a hard time about it. Oh, I think it's

great that you and a bunch of crybabies are getting together on a regular basis.

Well, and some of those groups do very good work.

You're right. I'm sorry, man. I was just joking.

And, Mom, I'm sorry, too, but I just can't deal with you dating yet.

Come here, baby.

Listen to me.

I can't deal with me dating yet.

But, honey, when the time comes, I can take care of myself, okay?

I'm a big girl.

All right.

I guess I'll just have to make a real effort to adjust to this.

Okay.

Hello there.

Hello.

I'd like a room, please.

You're not my daddy. I'll never call you daddy.

How did darling Flo do?

Ran a good race.

How did she do?

Came in fifth.

So, where is she now?

Out in the van.

Mr. Sardisco, I'd like to take her.

What? You're going to have a dog running around the hotel?

I only wish I could, but there's no room here for her to run or play.

No, so what are you going to do with her? Well, I called around, and there's

this National Greyhound Adoption Program.

They help you find homes for retired greyhounds. So I'll just keep her till I

find someone.

If it were only that easy.

Don't you see there just aren't enough homes to go around?

That's why we have to put so many of them to sleep.

Well, that's no solution.

I mean, if you can't find homes for them, then maybe you people shouldn't

so many puppies in the first place. And you should let other people know what

wonderful pets these dogs make so we can find more homes.

Do you understand?

You take the dog.

Okay.

Oh, and one more thing.

See what you can do about those rental binoculars at the track.

Honestly, five bucks and all they do is make everything look smaller.

I'm terribly sorry, ma 'am. It won't happen again.

All right? I'll take care of it.

Rose, can I talk to you for a minute?

The neighbors just complained again. Your little friend's at it again.

Oh, really?

What's the matter? Well, this time she stole the newspaper. She trampled the

flowers. She knocked that woman's husband down and then licked his face.

Okay, okay. It's my responsibility. I'll take care of it.