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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,910 --> 00:00:04,230 Thank you. 2 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,440 Hey, Chewy, man, you should check out the stage in the ballroom. It's really 3 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,180 starting to look like a comedy club, man. We're going to make a lot of money 4 00:01:07,180 --> 00:01:07,779 this thing. 5 00:01:07,780 --> 00:01:08,960 Yeah, it's a great idea. 6 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,760 Oh, by the way, I have an application for somebody who wants to enter the 7 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:13,760 competition. 8 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:16,520 You're kidding, right? 9 00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:17,860 No. 10 00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:19,960 Corny Castillos? 11 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:21,920 Yeah, do you love it? 12 00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,960 See, I was trying to come up with a stage name that was funny, and since the 13 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:28,240 funniest word in the world is corn... Corn! 14 00:01:33,490 --> 00:01:34,490 Corny Castillos. 15 00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:38,450 All I got to do now is come up with a five -minute act, but I have all week, 16 00:01:38,450 --> 00:01:39,450 how hard can it be? 17 00:01:40,870 --> 00:01:41,910 Corny, listen to me. 18 00:01:42,430 --> 00:01:45,510 You don't want to get up on that stage and make an idiot of yourself. Now, what 19 00:01:45,510 --> 00:01:50,050 you need is a writer, you know, someone who's young, down, naturally funny, like 20 00:01:50,050 --> 00:01:51,050 me. 21 00:01:52,190 --> 00:01:53,190 You? 22 00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:56,470 No offense, brother, but your body's funny as a lima bean. 23 00:01:59,930 --> 00:02:01,890 Hey, can anyone join this comedy competition? 24 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:05,560 Oh, not you too, Sophia. What's your stage name? Mom's Petrillo? 25 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,860 Boy, you make one adult party record in the 50s and it haunts you all year long. 26 00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,940 No, I was thinking of a guy I knew back in the old neighborhood. 27 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:17,260 An older guy. 28 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:18,440 Older than you? 29 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:24,220 He was part of a comedy team. Williams and Brown or Brown and Williams or 30 00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,220 Williams and Williams. 31 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:26,960 Funny guy. 32 00:02:27,540 --> 00:02:31,090 Look. Doesn't matter what his name is. Anybody older than you can make it on 33 00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:32,090 stage. I'll put him on. 34 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,810 Hey, you know, this is shaping up to be quite a weekend. 35 00:02:36,250 --> 00:02:40,410 I just learned my son Matthew's going to come for a visit. And the comedy show's 36 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,410 almost sold out. 37 00:02:41,490 --> 00:02:44,550 Oh, yes, speaking of which, Chewy wants to enter. Oh. And Sophia. 38 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:48,690 Oh, don't let Sophia enter. Have you heard her party record? It's filthy. 39 00:02:49,730 --> 00:02:50,730 Oh. 40 00:02:53,530 --> 00:02:56,190 Hello. My name is Bill Douglas. 41 00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:57,730 I have a reservation? 42 00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:00,210 Oh, yes, Mr. Douglas. Yes, I have you right here. 43 00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:03,450 You know, you look very familiar to me. 44 00:03:03,650 --> 00:03:05,810 Where do I know you from? What do you do for a living? 45 00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:07,470 Well, I own a mattress factory. 46 00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:16,610 Maybe you've heard about our line, Douglas Mattresses, the mattress that 47 00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:17,690 last a lifetime. 48 00:03:18,810 --> 00:03:20,830 Yes, I've had three of them. 49 00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:27,140 Well, I hope you enjoy your stay. here at the Golden Palace. Thank you. We do 50 00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:31,080 everything we can to make our guests feel like they're very special. Thank 51 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:32,080 Thank you. 52 00:03:36,740 --> 00:03:43,640 Rose, are 53 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,640 you okay? 54 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,120 You look shaken like you've... I've seen a ghost. 55 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:52,360 Well, I was going to say drinking heavily, but... I've seen a ghost works, 56 00:03:53,380 --> 00:03:54,580 Rose, are you all right? 57 00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:56,530 Look at this picture. 58 00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:57,910 Oh, my goodness. 59 00:03:58,110 --> 00:04:00,510 It's you and Mr. Douglas on a cow. 60 00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:05,390 No, that's me with Charlie. 61 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:09,430 Mr. Douglas looks exactly like my husband, Charlie. 62 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,150 Oh, well, no wonder he looks so familiar. 63 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:13,670 Oh, 64 00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:16,610 and I made such a fool of myself. 65 00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:21,459 Oh, he must think I'm a nut. I really should apologize. I mean, he is a guest. 66 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,720 Well, if it makes you uncomfortable, I think you ought to just avoid that 67 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:25,720 particular guest. 68 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:30,960 Oh, Blanche, don't be silly. I mean, I'm a big girl. I'm not going to create a 69 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:34,060 situation just because somebody happens to look like Charlie. Oh, good. 70 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:38,080 Of course, if he kisses like Charlie, you'll have to get the jaws of life to 71 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:39,080 me off him. 72 00:04:45,300 --> 00:04:46,400 Read this joke. 73 00:04:46,670 --> 00:04:47,950 Read this one. Yeah, you're going to love it. 74 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:54,110 Too bad Al Gore's not a waiter because he married a good tipper. 75 00:04:54,510 --> 00:04:55,510 Boom! 76 00:04:57,690 --> 00:05:01,690 I don't get it. 77 00:05:04,290 --> 00:05:06,510 What do you mean? His wife's name is Tipper. 78 00:05:07,610 --> 00:05:08,610 It's not funny. 79 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,330 Man, that's because you're not saying it right. You've got to hit Tipper. His 80 00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:14,610 wife's a good tipper. 81 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:16,920 That's big funny. 82 00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,240 Chewy, Roland, I want you all to meet my son, Matthew. 83 00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:24,540 Matthew, this is Roland and Chewy. 84 00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,020 Okay. 85 00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:30,480 Oh, honey, I just have so many plans for us today. 86 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:32,900 Mother, can we talk for a minute? 87 00:05:33,340 --> 00:05:34,680 Look, I have something to tell you. 88 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:36,520 Okay. 89 00:05:36,980 --> 00:05:37,980 Geez, I'm nervous. 90 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,020 How can I put this? 91 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:44,520 You know, Mom, you and I have a lot more in common than you think. 92 00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:46,350 We like the same things. 93 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:48,270 We like the same things? 94 00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:51,470 Honey, the only thing I really like is... 95 00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:58,330 Oh, my God, you're 96 00:05:58,330 --> 00:05:59,330 gay. 97 00:06:02,150 --> 00:06:03,150 No. 98 00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:07,130 No, what I mean is we both like to take chances. 99 00:06:07,470 --> 00:06:10,350 Like when you bought this hotel, you weren't afraid to change your life. 100 00:06:11,670 --> 00:06:16,320 So... I've decided to stop being a stockbroker and become a stand -up 101 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:22,580 Matthew, honey, if this is your roundabout way to tell me that you're 102 00:06:22,580 --> 00:06:24,200 don't have to. I accept it. 103 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,460 I'm not gay, mother. 104 00:06:26,660 --> 00:06:27,860 Oh, yes, you are. 105 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:29,940 Sorry, but I'm not. 106 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,840 And I really want to do comedy. 107 00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:36,800 Oh, comedy. No, Matthew, that's so undignified. 108 00:06:37,460 --> 00:06:39,080 How could you do this to me? 109 00:06:39,950 --> 00:06:42,590 I'm not saying I'm going to make a career of it, but I've been performing 110 00:06:42,590 --> 00:06:44,010 some clubs, and I'm not half bad. 111 00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:47,650 So when you wrote me about this comedy competition, I came down here so you 112 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:50,850 could see it. You didn't quit your job, did you? 113 00:06:51,790 --> 00:06:52,790 For a little while. 114 00:06:52,850 --> 00:06:53,850 Oh. 115 00:06:54,050 --> 00:06:58,670 Well, forgive me if I cannot laugh, Matthew, but I find nothing funny about 116 00:06:58,670 --> 00:06:59,950 son ruining his life. 117 00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:01,910 Now, I don't want to talk about this anymore. 118 00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:04,130 Let's just get you checked in. 119 00:07:05,410 --> 00:07:07,170 You want to listen to some show tunes later? 120 00:07:09,230 --> 00:07:10,350 Straight as an arrow, Mom. 121 00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:19,890 Hello. 122 00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:22,070 Oh, hello. 123 00:07:22,590 --> 00:07:26,790 You're probably wondering why I screamed and ran away from you this morning. 124 00:07:27,210 --> 00:07:28,290 I'm used to that. 125 00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:30,210 I used to sell Amway. 126 00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:36,430 Please. My name is Bill Douglas. 127 00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:37,890 Rose Nyland. 128 00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:44,050 The reason I reacted the way I did was... was... 129 00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:51,030 Well, just before I saw you, I remembered I forgot to unplug the iron 130 00:07:51,030 --> 00:07:52,030 the house. Oh. 131 00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:53,530 Is everything all right? 132 00:07:53,770 --> 00:07:56,550 I don't know. I sold the house in 1976. 133 00:07:59,410 --> 00:08:01,890 I guess I would have heard something by now. 134 00:08:03,670 --> 00:08:05,270 Well, where did you live? 135 00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:09,020 Oh, in a beautiful little... Little town in Minnesota called St. Olaf. 136 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,620 Have you ever been there? 137 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,060 My wife and I honeymooned there. 138 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:17,640 Oh. 139 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:23,300 Will your wife be joining you here? Oh, no. She passed away a few years ago. 140 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,540 Oh. Oh, that must have been hard. 141 00:08:27,540 --> 00:08:28,540 Yes, it was. 142 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,360 Would you like to have dinner with me tonight? 143 00:08:33,419 --> 00:08:34,419 Yes. 144 00:08:34,900 --> 00:08:36,280 What time? 145 00:08:37,070 --> 00:08:37,989 Seven o 'clock? 146 00:08:37,990 --> 00:08:42,730 In the lobby? Oh, I'm sorry. We don't serve dinner in the lobby. 147 00:08:43,750 --> 00:08:49,830 Well, why don't you and I just meet in the lobby, and then we will go out to a 148 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:50,830 restaurant. 149 00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:52,650 Great! 150 00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,370 See you at seven. 151 00:08:55,590 --> 00:08:56,590 Yeah. 152 00:08:57,990 --> 00:09:00,870 Wow. And smart, too. 153 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,560 Okay, Chewie, I'm setting up the lineup for Saturday night's show. Now, you sure 154 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,020 you still want to go on? What makes you think I wouldn't want to go on? 155 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,980 Because I saw you rehearsing your act today. 156 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,740 Somebody can wreck a window. 157 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,360 You're just saying that because I'm not using any of your lousy jokes. 158 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:25,380 My jokes? What about your jokes? 159 00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:30,200 I had a dream last night that I ate a giant marshmallow, and when I woke up, 160 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,200 pillow was gone. 161 00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:33,540 Ba -boom! 162 00:09:34,790 --> 00:09:37,150 That joke is so old, Pia Zadora wouldn't marry it. 163 00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:43,410 That reminds me, I talked to my friend. He thinks he can make it. Oh, great. 164 00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:44,490 What's his name? 165 00:09:44,510 --> 00:09:45,510 Oh, this is crazy. 166 00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:47,230 I just had it. 167 00:09:47,850 --> 00:09:53,710 I tell you, at my age, the first thing to go is the... Mind? 168 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:56,030 No, help yourself. 169 00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:02,810 Look, Sophia, if the old dude shows up, I'll put him on right after Matthew 170 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:06,890 Devereaux. Matthew's not entering the laugh -off. Uh, does Matthew know this? 171 00:10:07,130 --> 00:10:08,130 Matthew know what? 172 00:10:08,250 --> 00:10:10,430 Matthew, I forbid you to enter this contest. 173 00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,010 Mom, I'm 35. 174 00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:16,550 Your forbidden days are over. Now look, don't you get smart with me. I have been 175 00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:18,150 reading some of your material. Huh. 176 00:10:18,470 --> 00:10:22,150 When I was young, my mother used so much makeup, her pillowcase looked like it 177 00:10:22,150 --> 00:10:23,630 had a picture of a clown on it. 178 00:10:27,190 --> 00:10:31,310 Hey, you can't do that. Thank you, Chewy. I'm doing a pillow joke. 179 00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:37,300 Those are personal. 180 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,080 Oh, well, they certainly are. 181 00:10:39,540 --> 00:10:42,500 Look, if you want to go out and make a fool of yourself in public, that's one 182 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:45,480 thing. But you are not going to make me look like a fool, too. You have no right 183 00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,560 to invade my privacy. 184 00:10:46,820 --> 00:10:47,820 My point exactly. 185 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,260 Now, Matthew, you're not doing this to me. 186 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:56,900 Maybe I should talk to Matthew. 187 00:10:57,200 --> 00:11:00,600 You think you can help? I know I can help. I have over a thousand bland slut 188 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,600 jokes. 189 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,500 Yeah, what a night, huh? 190 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,180 Oh, I don't think I've had this much fun in years. You know, I can't remember 191 00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:17,140 when I last danced to polka. 192 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:20,080 Did you like my solo? 193 00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:26,800 I'm always impressed when somebody jumps up on a table and stands on their 194 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:27,800 hands. 195 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,560 Actually, that's the way we danced back in St. Olaf. 196 00:11:33,900 --> 00:11:34,900 Oh? 197 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,920 There's something I have to tell you. Can I tell you something first? 198 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:47,040 Look, I have been alone for seven years. 199 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,040 I tried dating. 200 00:11:50,300 --> 00:11:55,480 I know what you mean. Oh, yes. But you're very different. 201 00:11:56,560 --> 00:12:00,460 When I'm with you, I feel comfortable. 202 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,180 Just comfortable. 203 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,840 No, don't underrate that. 204 00:12:05,780 --> 00:12:09,580 When you're comfortable, you allow yourself. 205 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,000 To feel wonderful things. 206 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,660 Like what? 207 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:15,900 Like this. 208 00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:23,660 Or this. 209 00:12:38,060 --> 00:12:40,880 I won't be going to the show tonight, so there's another ticket you can save. 210 00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,440 You gotta go. 211 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,360 I sold Matthew this one joke, and no one will get it if they can't see you. 212 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:54,740 I mean, 213 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:56,240 he's your son. 214 00:12:58,580 --> 00:13:01,020 Yeah, Blanche, you have to go. This is a big night for the hotel. 215 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,080 I'm not going if Matthew's going on. 216 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:08,280 He used to be so responsible, and then last night he told me that he just 217 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,100 happy anymore being a stockbroker. 218 00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:14,800 All I could think of was how hard his daddy worked giving him an education so 219 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,800 could have some security. 220 00:13:16,480 --> 00:13:18,280 Now he's just going to throw it all away? 221 00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:20,300 I think you're behaving ridiculously. 222 00:13:20,940 --> 00:13:21,940 You should talk. 223 00:13:22,180 --> 00:13:24,260 You're the one who went out with a guy who looks like Charlie. 224 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:28,580 How would you like me to iron those wrinkles out of your face, you little 225 00:13:28,580 --> 00:13:29,580 snitch? 226 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:44,370 Rose, you didn't. It was no big deal. He asked me out, and we danced a little, 227 00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:51,430 and he gave me a tiny kiss, and we laughed and cried, and I 228 00:13:51,430 --> 00:13:52,570 stood on my hands. 229 00:13:53,450 --> 00:13:55,350 God, I think I love him. 230 00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,570 Did you tell him about Charlie? 231 00:13:59,850 --> 00:14:00,870 Well... Oh, Rose. 232 00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:03,130 Rose, honey, you don't even know this man. 233 00:14:03,350 --> 00:14:06,270 You just think you do, and this isn't being fair to him. 234 00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:09,950 I know you're right. I have to tell him. 235 00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:12,370 But you know, you're lucky, Blanche. I'm lucky? 236 00:14:12,650 --> 00:14:15,270 Well, if you want to see George, you don't have to look any further than 237 00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:16,270 Matthew. 238 00:14:17,610 --> 00:14:18,569 She's right. 239 00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:22,530 How many times have you told us that Matthew acts like George, thinks like 240 00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:25,750 George, that Matthew is exactly like his father? 241 00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:30,610 Would you excuse me? I think I want to talk to my son. 242 00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:35,270 You know... 243 00:14:35,530 --> 00:14:38,870 Every once in a while, I remember how much I need that male voice in my life, 244 00:14:38,930 --> 00:14:39,930 too. 245 00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,270 Do you want me to get Dorothy on the phone for you? Would you, darling? 246 00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,330 Matthew, may I speak to you a minute? 247 00:14:47,430 --> 00:14:48,910 Don't worry, I'm not going on tonight. 248 00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,130 Oh, okay. 249 00:14:51,730 --> 00:14:55,450 But did I ever tell you how I met your father? 250 00:14:56,130 --> 00:15:00,090 No. He was a barker at a carnival, putting himself through college. 251 00:15:00,490 --> 00:15:03,230 Dad was a carnival barker? I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. 252 00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:06,750 He used to sell these dice from Paris, France. 253 00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:11,510 They were just like regular dice until you held them up to the light. I do 254 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,670 remember him doing that. Yeah. That's how you met Dad? 255 00:15:13,890 --> 00:15:15,170 Hell, I bought six pairs. 256 00:15:17,810 --> 00:15:23,050 Then after he became a lawyer, he used to do it at parties and charity events, 257 00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:27,710 and then I guess he just became too successful, and it wasn't dignified 258 00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:31,340 for him to... put on that straw hat and do his little pitch. 259 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:34,860 But Lord, how that man loved to make a fool of himself. 260 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:37,700 What are you saying? 261 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:42,220 Oh, I'm saying go out there and make a fool of yourself. 262 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:44,260 You'd make your father proud of you. 263 00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:46,140 What about you? 264 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,500 I'm proud of you, whatever you do. 265 00:16:04,430 --> 00:16:05,510 No, sit down, Bill. 266 00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:07,550 I have something to show you. 267 00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:14,870 A picture of you and 268 00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:17,990 me sitting on a cow. 269 00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:24,950 No, that's me with my late husband, Charlie. 270 00:16:25,730 --> 00:16:26,730 Wow. 271 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:31,730 It certainly explains your instant attraction to me. 272 00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:35,880 Well, I wanted to tell you right away, but... But you wanted to extend the 273 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,480 fantasy a little longer. 274 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:38,800 Don't be angry. 275 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:40,900 Oh, no, no, I'm not, but let's be honest. 276 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:48,720 Would you ever be able to look at me without thinking about Charlie? 277 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:53,740 Well, maybe not right at first, but after a little while... You would never 278 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:58,060 able to know how you really felt about me. 279 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,720 I don't think it's going to work. 280 00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,120 I'm so sorry. I'll leave. 281 00:17:03,340 --> 00:17:05,339 Oh, no, no, I don't want you to leave. 282 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,140 Oh, I don't think I could stand that again. 283 00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:15,180 You see, when Charlie died, it all happened so fast, I never got a chance 284 00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:16,180 goodbye. 285 00:17:16,780 --> 00:17:18,859 And now you're just going to walk out on me, too? 286 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:25,119 If you could say goodbye to Charlie right now, what would you say? 287 00:17:25,900 --> 00:17:26,900 What would I say? 288 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:28,560 What would you say to Charlie? 289 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:41,060 Charlie, the 30 years that we spent together seemed like 290 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,600 a day. 291 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,560 When you died, part of me died, too. 292 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:54,280 I love you, and I miss you. 293 00:18:04,370 --> 00:18:05,370 Thank you, Bill. 294 00:18:13,250 --> 00:18:14,790 How you feeling, kiddo? 295 00:18:16,070 --> 00:18:17,130 Not so good. 296 00:18:17,790 --> 00:18:20,790 Hey, remember my friend the comic I told you about? Well, he's here. 297 00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:22,330 That's nice. 298 00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:25,050 Why don't you come with me and meet him? I'm telling you, the guy's a hoot. 299 00:18:25,570 --> 00:18:28,150 Sophia, I really don't feel like hooting right now. 300 00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:31,610 Come on, it'll do you some good. Come on. 301 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,960 Sophia told me to cheer you up. 302 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:40,020 So I will. 303 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:42,840 Here's a cigar. 304 00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:45,520 I don't smoke. 305 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,860 Okay, that didn't get a laugh. 306 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:52,300 I'll tell you a joke. 307 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,980 Have you heard this one? 308 00:18:55,220 --> 00:18:56,220 I don't think so. 309 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,060 I haven't told it yet. 310 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:04,820 A teacher said to a kid in school, what does your father do? He says, my 311 00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:05,820 father's a doctor. 312 00:19:06,570 --> 00:19:09,750 He said to the other kid, what does your father do? He says, my father's a 313 00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:13,590 lawyer. He said to the third kid, what does your father do? He says, my 314 00:19:13,590 --> 00:19:14,529 dead. 315 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:17,630 He says, what did he do before he died? He says, he went, ooh. 316 00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:24,930 Here's a cigar. 317 00:19:28,730 --> 00:19:30,350 All right, Mr. Burns, whenever you're ready. 318 00:19:30,810 --> 00:19:33,550 Ready. I've been ready for 97 years. 319 00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:37,240 Let's take a walk. Okay. 320 00:19:45,460 --> 00:19:46,460 Thank you. 321 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:52,220 Thank you very much. And now for my last song, I'm going to sing a song that's 322 00:19:52,220 --> 00:19:53,360 going to make Rose happy. 323 00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:56,020 Morty and Sam Neumansky. 324 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:03,240 I love to call you Rose here, but roses fade away. 325 00:20:04,300 --> 00:20:06,760 Roses die when wintertime appears. 326 00:20:07,620 --> 00:20:09,640 And I love to call you Daisy. 327 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:15,260 But daisies always tell what sweethearts like to whisper in your ear. 328 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:19,820 I'd love to call you Honey, but Honey runs away. 329 00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:23,280 I'm much before a name like Cling and Vine. 330 00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:28,000 And if I called you Buttercup, the dandelions would eat you up. 331 00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:32,740 So I'll buy a ring and change your name. 332 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,920 And change your name and buy a ring. 333 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:42,820 Oh, I'll change it and I'll buy it and I'll buy it and I'll change it. I'll buy 334 00:20:42,820 --> 00:20:44,960 a ring and change your name to mine. 335 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:47,920 Did you 336 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:58,320 like 337 00:20:58,320 --> 00:20:59,119 that, Rosie? 338 00:20:59,120 --> 00:21:01,100 Oh, I sure did, Sam. 339 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:06,020 My name isn't Sam. 340 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,340 It's Williams or Brown or Williams. 341 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:22,820 George Burns. 342 00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:24,340 George Burns. 343 00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:25,660 All right. 344 00:21:26,980 --> 00:21:28,240 Mr. George Burns. 345 00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:29,860 And now. 346 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,660 The comedy stylings of Mr. 347 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,820 Corny Castillo's. 348 00:21:36,180 --> 00:21:37,180 Excuse me. 26998

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