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Thank you for being a friend.
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God, a Sicilian sign that's been a hit.
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More fish.
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It's a bloodbath.
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A pox on you. A pox, I say.
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Oh, yeah, I ordered this.
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Hey, who ordered the fish?
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I did.
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Sophia, you know all dinner orders go
through me.
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Oh, they go through me, too, like a
locomotive.
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Hey, listen.
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Now that we know this much about each
other, I need a favor.
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I have to borrow your car.
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You just told me the food goes right
through you. Why would I lend you my
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Come on. I want to go downtown. Get my
feet scraped. Maybe get a yogurt. You
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know, live.
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I can't do it. You're an old lady.
You'll leave the blinker on all the
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Ah, pox on you.
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What? A pox on you. It's my new thing.
Isn't it a giggle?
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Yes, it is.
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It's a giggle. A pox. Sign you.
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Hey, tell it to all your friends. On the
bus.
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Oh, how about a ride downtown, Blanche?
Mama needs a new pair of feet.
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Now, Sophia, you know I have this sweet
16 party to plan. It's our banker's
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daughter, and I want it to go off
without a hitch.
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So lend me your car.
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Honey, you're too old to drive.
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I know what this is about.
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This is about the ding I put in your car
the last time I borrowed it. Ding?
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The paramedics had to get you out of
there with the jaws of life.
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Hey, they screwed up your door, not me.
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I'm sorry, the answer's no.
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I smite you.
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I smite you with the strength of a
thousand suns.
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What?
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Uh, a pox on you.
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Oh, you're cursing me. Oh, I get you.
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Boy, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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Where are all the pens?
40
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Oh, I threw them out. I ordered
personalized ones that say compliments
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Golden Palace.
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I thought it was classier.
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Blanche, I don't know why you're wasting
your time with pens.
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I mean, we've got the sweet 16 coming up
for our banker's daughter, and he holds
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the note on this hotel.
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Now, if this party fails, the onus is on
all of us.
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Wait,
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what'd you just say?
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Onus.
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Oh, never mind.
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eating another sandwich?
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I haven't been eating that much.
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As per your orders, Blanche, I'm keeping
the meatball subs coming. Oh, all
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right, then I'm eating. Well, I'm
frustrated.
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That's what I'm saying. We need to talk
about this. I'm sexually frustrated.
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I don't want to talk about this.
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It's a fact. You know, I think I
replaced my sex drive with a food drive.
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Oh, yeah?
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Maybe tonight you'd like to try a little
Mexican?
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00:04:07,119 --> 00:04:10,520
Julie, are you coming on to me? It's
just a diversion. We're running low on
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meatballs.
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Poor thing. He doesn't have a prayer.
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Because tonight I have a date with the
most wonderful man who has ever come
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my life.
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His name is Ernie Niles.
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Ernie. Oh.
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Tonight, but we're auditioning
entertainers for the party. This is
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Blanche. Oh, honey, I'll do it tomorrow,
but I need this tonight. Please.
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He is such a charming man, and he's so
witty and bright, and he is really cute.
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Ernie. Oh.
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This is nauseating. I can't stand here
and listen to this.
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He's cute.
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Blanche, I've never met a cute man. Men
are not cute. If you want cute, you date
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Winnie the Pooh.
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Winnie. Oh.
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Well, Blanche still isn't here. I can't
believe her. She knows about these
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auditions. Well, we'll just start
without her.
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Mr. Siegel.
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All right, Mr.
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Siegel, it says here that you're an
entertainer. What do you do?
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I'm a mime.
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Are you perhaps an escaped mime?
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Anytime you're ready, Mr. Siegel.
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And now, a man...
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In a box.
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A mime who uses props.
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That's unusual.
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I'm trapped in a box.
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I had a mime at my 16th birthday party
back in St. Olaf.
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00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:57,550
Well, it wasn't actually a mime. It was
a neighbor boy who'd been struck by
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lightning.
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Mr. Siegel, if you don't mind me asking,
what made you want to become a mime? I
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like to see the smiles on people's
faces.
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Are you smiling?
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Hello, this is Roland. Can I help you?
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It's a guy from the Department of Social
Services. They're checking up on
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Oliver. Oh.
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How could you speak up? I can hardly
hear you over the pad boon in the
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background.
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Hey, good white guy, man.
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Oh.
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Oh, she is?
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Okay, that's great news.
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Thank you.
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What's up?
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That was about Oliver's mom. Apparently
she's out of rehab and the court feels
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that she's ready to take Oliver back.
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Hey, that's great. That's what you
always wanted for Oliver.
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Yeah, I know. So why do I feel so lousy?
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Hey, come on, man. This was always a
temporary arrangement. You knew that.
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00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:07,100
Hey, come on. Let's go tell the ladies
and all of her. No, man. I don't want to
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say anything. I don't want to get his
hopes up, okay?
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Let's not say a word about this until
his mother actually shows up. Oh, come
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man. Who are you kidding?
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The women aren't stupid. They're going
to take one look at you and know you're
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hiding something.
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Well, then we're just going to have to
act natural, like there's nothing wrong.
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Wait a minute.
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What is this?
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Oh, you Yankee Doodle.
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Oh, girls.
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Well, where have you been?
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Oh, girls, you're not going to believe
this. I think I'm in love.
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Excuse me? Oh, that just means she slept
with someone.
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No, no, no. I mean, what did you say?
Did you just call us girls?
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No, I didn't. Yes, you did. You called
me a girl, Blanche. I'm not a girl. You
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don't live with girls anymore.
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I don't like blueberries in my bagels. I
don't like cinnamon in my coffee.
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00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,320
I don't enjoy baskets full of bath gels.
And I don't want to hear about your
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00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:13,060
stupid personal life. Excuse me. Oh,
Rose, for the first time in my life, I
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the big O.
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Say what?
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had it before but i was wrong oh boy was
i wrong wait a minute i mean not that i
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care but how is it possible after all
you're bragging that this is your first
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time i don't understand it either i
think maybe it's because well you see
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always thought of myself as sort of a
white tina turner really in what way
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her skin is lighter
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Anyway, I'm seeing him again tonight.
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Blanche, the party is in two days.
140
00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:05,880
Now, we've been handling your auditions,
but the printers called twice about
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00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,920
approving the copy on those hotel pins.
You mean another date? I will get my
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00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,460
chores done, but I have to do this. Oh,
please. I have to do this tonight. I
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00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:15,460
need this.
144
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:17,600
I need this.
145
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I need this.
146
00:09:23,420 --> 00:09:25,060
Okay, that time I was just practicing.
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00:09:31,950 --> 00:09:32,789
Hey, Roland.
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Boy, that Oliver is something, man. He's
on me again to take him to a wrestling
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match. This time, he wants to see
something called Mud Wrestling Mamas.
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00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,030
Can you imagine?
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00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,470
No, I think that's totally
inappropriate.
152
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That's exactly what I said. It's totally
inappropriate.
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Good.
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Totally inappropriate.
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And I'm out 50 bucks.
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00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,830
She's gone. Blanche is gone again.
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The minute a man comes along, Blanche
can't...
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Well, you know, I don't know a lot about
Blanche's personal life, but so what if
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00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:03,700
she likes to date, Rose?
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00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:06,380
Well, I used to think that till this
Ernie came along.
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00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,460
But this is the hump that broke the
camel's back.
162
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,380
I think that's the straw that broke the
camel's back.
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00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,280
Well, you don't know much about her
personal life, do you?
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00:10:20,300 --> 00:10:22,540
Rose, I still think you're overreacting
to this.
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00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,120
Well, that's not all.
166
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:27,180
You remember those pens she ordered and
she was too busy to check?
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00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,710
Well, they came.
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00:10:29,210 --> 00:10:35,230
Rose, oh, my pen's got hair. Oh, good.
Now, Rose, isn't it classier to say pen
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00:10:35,230 --> 00:10:36,510
as compliments from us to you?
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00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:40,250
Oh, real classy, except they left out
the space between pen and ears.
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What a funny little typo.
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00:10:46,170 --> 00:10:47,970
It's more than a funny little typo.
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00:10:48,450 --> 00:10:52,490
There are 32 guests in the hotel who
have pens on their dressers that say
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compliments from us to you.
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00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,990
to them, Blanche?
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It's supposed to say pen.
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00:11:00,850 --> 00:11:04,430
I know it's supposed to say pen. We got
ten gross of these things.
178
00:11:04,690 --> 00:11:07,110
And we're going to have to collect them
all and you're going to have to call the
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00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:09,990
printer. Oh, no, honey, I can't. I have
a lunch date with Ernie.
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00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:11,450
Lunch.
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00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:14,550
Blanche, we have a sweet 16 party
tonight.
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00:11:14,950 --> 00:11:17,910
Now, that banker's carried us for over
three months. You've got a
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00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:21,250
here. I can't believe this. You're just
throwing this away for some guy.
184
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:22,850
He's not just some guy.
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00:11:23,260 --> 00:11:24,260
He's special.
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00:11:24,500 --> 00:11:28,340
Blanche, I've seen him in the pool in
his Speedo. He's not that special.
187
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:35,680
Oh, I get it. This is your idea. You're
just jealous because I'm dating someone
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00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:36,599
right now.
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00:11:36,600 --> 00:11:40,780
I'm not jealous, Blanche. But we have an
important event coming up, and you're
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00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:42,500
just choosing the first man who comes
along.
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00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,860
The fact is, this man makes me happy.
And as my friend, that should make you
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00:11:46,860 --> 00:11:47,860
happy, too.
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00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:51,960
I'm talking to you as your partner, not
as your friend. You got that right. As
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00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,480
far as I'm concerned, you're not my
friend.
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00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:55,720
Well, that's just fine with me.
196
00:11:58,060 --> 00:12:00,620
Roland, I'm checking out and I'll be
back on Wednesday.
197
00:12:00,900 --> 00:12:02,100
Okay, I just need your signature.
198
00:12:04,260 --> 00:12:05,880
What is this, some sort of come on?
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00:12:06,140 --> 00:12:07,140
What?
200
00:12:08,420 --> 00:12:10,980
No, that's a funny little typo.
201
00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:12,620
There you go.
202
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:15,920
My car will be washed when I return?
203
00:12:16,410 --> 00:12:17,510
Yes, just leave us the keys.
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00:12:18,050 --> 00:12:20,170
Oh, I already left the keys. You did?
With who?
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00:12:20,430 --> 00:12:21,430
The little old lady.
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00:12:23,130 --> 00:12:24,130
The little old lady.
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00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,240
God, you hear it too?
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00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,600
You sure
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00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:58,120
you know how to drive?
210
00:12:58,360 --> 00:12:59,820
Oh, so now you think I'm too old?
211
00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:02,340
No, no, no. It's just that... What?
212
00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:05,540
Well, you spent so much time looking for
the crank.
213
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,560
Ah, that was just it.
214
00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:11,500
So, what do you want to do?
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00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,000
Hey, I'm doing this for you.
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00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:17,600
I want you to be free. I want you to see
the highway, touch the city, smell the
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00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:18,600
land.
218
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,900
Are we ever going to turn left?
219
00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:31,900
Any news of Sophia and Oliver? I just
called the cops. Nothing.
220
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,360
Hey, you guys got nothing to worry
about.
221
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,860
Man, when I was a kid in East LA, we
used to go joyriding all the time.
222
00:13:40,590 --> 00:13:43,390
I remember we'd get a bunch of guys in
the car, we'd go down to Tijuana, man,
223
00:13:43,390 --> 00:13:49,250
would... Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea
if you got a number of a good bail
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00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:50,250
bondsman.
225
00:13:51,870 --> 00:13:54,870
I just called the boys club in the
senior center. They're not there.
226
00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:59,390
Oh, I just feel so awful. I was so
insensitive to Sophia.
227
00:13:59,610 --> 00:14:00,610
Now she's gone.
228
00:14:00,630 --> 00:14:02,190
I know, I feel horrible.
229
00:14:02,890 --> 00:14:05,970
I was insensitive to you too, wasn't I?
I'm sorry, Rose.
230
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,630
Oh, I forgive you, Blanche. And I
forgive you, Rose.
231
00:14:08,970 --> 00:14:10,410
And, Roland, I forgive you.
232
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:11,930
Yippee skippee.
233
00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:18,210
I guess maybe I was having trouble
balancing my work and my time with
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00:14:18,470 --> 00:14:19,470
Oh.
235
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:22,210
But, girls, I think I've come up with
the perfect solution.
236
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:26,070
All right, that's it. But you haven't
heard what it is yet. You just called me
237
00:14:26,070 --> 00:14:26,869
girl again.
238
00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:29,990
No, she didn't. Yes, she did. I think I
know why I'm being called a girl. I want
239
00:14:29,990 --> 00:14:32,350
it to stop, okay, Blanche? I'm not a
girl, right?
240
00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:39,100
Whatever. Anyway, I'm having Ernie stay
here at the hotel.
241
00:14:39,380 --> 00:14:43,340
That way I can be here for the party and
have my getaway weekend with Ernie.
242
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:47,780
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to
go slip into something that will make me
243
00:14:47,780 --> 00:14:48,780
look my best.
244
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,680
May I suggest a time machine?
245
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:01,900
Hello? Yes, can I help you? Hi.
246
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,940
Roland, I'm Paula Webb, Oliver's mother.
247
00:15:05,400 --> 00:15:06,760
Oh, you're Oliver's mother.
248
00:15:07,300 --> 00:15:10,320
It's nice to meet you. This is Chewy.
Hi, I'm Chewy. Hi.
249
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:14,840
I've heard a lot about you. I'm glad
that you're, you know, doing better. I'm
250
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,680
doing great. I was lucky to find such a
good hospital. And I gotta say, I was
251
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:19,940
lucky that Oliver found you.
252
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:24,000
He's written to me all about you. Oh,
well, we're really close. You know, so
253
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000
Chewy.
254
00:15:25,140 --> 00:15:26,640
So, where is he now?
255
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:28,419
Where's who?
256
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:32,270
Oliver. Oh, where's Oliver? Where's
Oliver? I thought you meant, where's
257
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:33,609
Me too.
258
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:34,610
I thought you meant, where's Chewy?
259
00:15:36,070 --> 00:15:38,610
Well, where is he? He's right there.
260
00:15:40,150 --> 00:15:41,150
I'm Chewy.
261
00:15:41,370 --> 00:15:44,890
You know, I wanted to surprise him.
That's why I came in the back door. Oh,
262
00:15:44,890 --> 00:15:47,290
wanted to surprise him. She wanted to
surprise you.
263
00:15:49,190 --> 00:15:50,190
Boy,
264
00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,110
I can see why Oliver likes it here so
much.
265
00:15:53,510 --> 00:15:55,250
So really, where is he?
266
00:15:56,170 --> 00:15:59,150
Well, actually, right now he's out with
one of his foster grandmas.
267
00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:01,170
Okay, I'll come back later.
268
00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:03,130
His grandmother.
269
00:16:06,170 --> 00:16:07,750
I mean, she's okay, isn't she?
270
00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:12,950
Oh, yes, and we feel that she is a
really strong role model for the child,
271
00:16:12,950 --> 00:16:16,790
by spending time together, she's showing
the boy a real healthy respect for
272
00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:17,790
authority.
273
00:16:21,610 --> 00:16:24,650
Ma 'am, do you have any idea how slow
you were going?
274
00:16:26,270 --> 00:16:27,430
Ah, bite me.
275
00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:03,080
I'm not stopping you. I'm telling you
not to come back.
276
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:04,940
Not come back?
277
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:08,220
This isn't about Ernie. You're running
away from this hotel.
278
00:17:09,119 --> 00:17:11,140
You can't handle the responsibility.
279
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,480
You're scared.
280
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000
She's right.
281
00:17:15,180 --> 00:17:17,540
Oh, yeah? Well, I don't care what you
think.
282
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:21,280
And hey, maybe I just won't come back.
Because I don't need you.
283
00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,960
I don't need anyone. I don't need
anything.
284
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:29,180
Golden Palace.
285
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:32,320
Remember, kid, we're in this together.
286
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:33,520
You better believe it.
287
00:17:33,540 --> 00:17:37,140
Excuse me, folks. These people tell me
they belong to you. Sophia.
288
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:38,960
Oliver, where have you two been?
289
00:17:39,340 --> 00:17:41,500
Kidnapped. The boy kidnapped me. It was
a nightmare.
290
00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:47,300
Normally, I'd take them downtown, but
they asked to be placed in your custody.
291
00:17:47,420 --> 00:17:48,740
What, with their ages and all?
292
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:49,899
Their ages.
293
00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:50,639
I'm a child.
294
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:51,619
I was scared.
295
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:52,620
He almost peed.
296
00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:55,079
I'm 100.
297
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,320
I am scared. I am peeing.
298
00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:06,840
better care of these two, they might not
run away.
299
00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,680
Oh, I'm gonna take care of them.
300
00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:14,220
Now listen, I don't want to know whose
idea it was. It was hers.
301
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:19,300
It doesn't matter whose idea it was.
From now on, if you want to go
302
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,720
you ask one of us and we'll take you.
Now you gotta promise. No more
303
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:24,340
We promise.
304
00:18:24,620 --> 00:18:25,419
Thank you.
305
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:26,420
Am I grounded?
306
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,160
No. Just the ringleader.
307
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,420
Hey, look who's back.
308
00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:33,860
Did you tell them the good news yet? No,
no. Tonight, man. I'll tell them
309
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:35,250
tonight. Oh, okay.
310
00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:39,070
Well, I learned my lesson. Yeah, me too.
311
00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:43,850
Excuse me, is anyone on duty? I got my
motorcycle and sidecar out in front. I
312
00:18:43,850 --> 00:18:44,850
need to park it.
313
00:18:51,270 --> 00:18:52,750
We can do that for you.
314
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:09,560
I can see that. I thought you were going
on a cruise.
315
00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,340
Well, it just didn't work out with
Ernie.
316
00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:14,100
It was something he said.
317
00:19:14,660 --> 00:19:16,340
Oh, did he say you were irresponsible?
318
00:19:17,300 --> 00:19:18,300
No, Rose.
319
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,980
What he said was... Your hair.
320
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,220
He made fun of your hair.
321
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,240
No.
322
00:19:24,980 --> 00:19:29,520
No, I told him about the fight we'd had,
and he said for me not to worry about
323
00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:30,880
it, that he'd take care of me.
324
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:36,910
So? So I realized I was doing exactly
what you said I was, running away and
325
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:38,630
looking for some man to take care of me.
326
00:19:40,290 --> 00:19:46,110
Rose, I don't know. Maybe I was scared.
Maybe I can't handle responsibility, but
327
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:50,430
I realize this hotel is my chance to
finally make something of myself without
328
00:19:50,430 --> 00:19:51,590
depending on some man.
329
00:19:52,110 --> 00:19:54,770
And I sure would like to try.
330
00:19:55,630 --> 00:19:57,710
That is, if you'll forgive me.
331
00:20:00,070 --> 00:20:01,210
Oh, come here.
332
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,140
It is so good to be back with you all.
333
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:18,440
Hey, where's Oliver?
334
00:20:18,820 --> 00:20:20,460
Oh, honey, Oliver's gone.
335
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:25,820
Gone? His mother came back, and she's
doing great. He was so excited to see
336
00:20:25,980 --> 00:20:27,040
Well, that's wonderful.
337
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:28,660
Isn't it great?
338
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:30,540
Yes, he must be so happy.
339
00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:32,440
Of course, after...
340
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:38,770
Are you okay, bro?
341
00:20:39,370 --> 00:20:42,750
Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just gonna miss
Oliver, that's all.
342
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:44,910
Well, yeah, we all are.
343
00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:47,590
But I bet he'll come back and visit.
344
00:20:48,170 --> 00:20:50,270
But hey, how about me? I didn't even get
to say goodbye.
345
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:52,730
Oh, yeah, he left y 'all a note.
346
00:20:53,910 --> 00:20:54,910
Oh,
347
00:20:55,090 --> 00:20:59,210
I never knew grandmas could be so much
fun. I love you guys.
348
00:20:59,470 --> 00:21:00,630
I'll miss you guys.
349
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:04,170
Oliver, P .S. Tell Sophia thanks for the
ride.
350
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:07,970
You know, in a way, I'm glad I took him
out for one last free ride.
351
00:21:08,430 --> 00:21:13,290
It was an adventure that taught us more
about love and sharing and trust than
352
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:16,130
all the schooling in the world. You're
still grounded, Sophia.
353
00:21:16,750 --> 00:21:17,890
Ah, bite this.
354
00:21:27,110 --> 00:21:32,430
What do you say we get up real early and
clean this place up? I'm beat. Oh,
355
00:21:32,450 --> 00:21:33,630
yeah. Oh, I'm for that.
356
00:21:33,910 --> 00:21:34,910
Uh -huh.
357
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:38,400
Night, Blanche. Good night, Roland.
358
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:39,800
Good night, Roland.
359
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:42,480
Good night.
28545
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