All language subtitles for the_golden_palace_s01e13_rose_and_fern

Thank you for being a friend.

Travel down the road and back again.

Your heart.

What does this look like to you?

George Hamilton in five years.

No, Sophie, I think you overcooked this.

No, I didn't. Oh, really?

Have you ever seen a duck this black and
smoky? I have.

Daffy.

But only after Bugs Bunny gives him a
dynamite cigar.

Why doesn't that duck ever learn?

He can't rose.

He doesn't have a brain.

Sound familiar?

You're the one who's overcooked three
meals today.

In fact, if we had a stupid person race,
I think you'd come in first.

I'm sorry. Maybe the oven is broken.

Oh, it is. Didn't you get the note I
left inside the oven?

And at the wire, it's rose by a nose.

I'm sorry, Chewie, but things have been
a little tight lately. We've been

putting off some of the repairs.

I have to have an oven. I explained that
to Blanche. She said she'd call the

repairman. You had Blanche call the oven
repairman?

Why is that so bad?

Well, she's been seeing him for a year.

The only thing he ever services out here
is her.

Before him, it was the Maytag guy. And
believe me, he doesn't look like that

because he's lonely.

He's exhausted.

I don't know whether you want it or not,
but that's another message.

Miles again.

Yep, third time he's called today. He
says he really has to talk to you. I bet

that woman he's been seeing dumped him.

I bet she broke his heart and reduced
him to a pile of groveling rubble,

out every last ounce of his self
-esteem.

Why do you suppose Miles keeps calling?

My guess is he wants to get back
together. But you're not.

considering it. Oh, I don't know. I'm so
confused.

I want to make an intelligent decision.

Half of me misses him terribly. Half of
me wants to get on with my life.

And the other half of me wants to take
an axe and hitchhike around the Midwest

looking for guys who look like Miles.

Okay, let the evil Rose go to sleep. I
want to talk to the good Rose now.

coming up honey

now i know this is difficult for you but
miles hurt you and he's just gonna hurt

you again unless you're strong darn it
you're right i mean i should stop

miles come and go as he pleases but what
should i do i'll tell you what you're

gonna do you're gonna go out there and
start dating again maybe you're right I

should meet some new men.

There you go.

I mean, I don't need Miles in my life.
Tell it, sister.

I get along just fine without him. Now
you're talking. Can I sleep in your room

tonight?

Well, it's going to be a little crowded.

But what the hell, it is a great place
to meet men.

You're not finished going over the books
yet?

No, there's $300 I can't account for,
and it's driving me crazy.

Oh, well, just do what I do, and my
checkbook won't balance. Just take the

and put it in the whoopsie column.

There must be something wrong with this
ledger. I can't find any whoopsie

columns.

Now, don't get sarcastic.

I learned that system from a guy who
owned a savings and loan. It's perfectly

legal.

Look, this is more than whoopsie money,
Blanche.

There's a pattern going on here. I think
somebody's stealing.

Oh, oh, well, then the thief has to be
caught. I will not allow thievery in my

hotel. Oh, whoever this gutter snipe is,
I'll snatch him. You'd be surprised how

good I am at getting people to expose
themselves.

Okay, well, look, I hope I'm wrong about
this, but until we're sure, let's just

watch what we spend. And we don't want
to arouse any unnecessary suspicion, so

whatever you do, don't tell anybody we
got money problems.

My lips are sealed.

Did you enjoy your stay at the Golden
Palace? Well, actually, no.

No? You see, I came down here to visit
my Aunt Edna in the hospital.

She's the only family I have left, and
the doctor says it doesn't look very

good. When she's gone, I'll be all
alone.

Well, when you come back for the
funeral, I hope you think of us.

Sorry, but if we keep losing money like
this, we'll all be out walking the

streets. Well, at least you'll have a
job.

Excuse me. Now, you leave my personal
life out of this, you nitwit.

Don't you take your frustrations out on
me, you cheap scallop.

The word is trollop, you moron.

I am a cheap trollop.

Excuse me.

I'm looking for a friendly, relaxed
place to hold my wedding. Well, you

certainly came to the right place.

We're wedding specialists.

For the right price, we can do anything.

I can give you ice sculptures, champagne
fountains, a string quartet. We're

getting married in two days.

Crepe paper and pudding pops. Take it or
leave it.

I was hoping for something with a little
more...

On romance and class.

I have a great idea for a theme, if you
don't mind tradition.

I call it, contentment isn't just for
cows.

This is your idea of tradition?

It's a St. Olaf tradition.

Rose, that's the dumbest thing I ever
heard. I love it. It's perfect.

I was raised in the country. This sounds
like a lot of fun.

What do you envision?

Well, it's a little daring, but I see
the groom in black and the bride in

You know, classic Holstein colors.

Oh, no, not the cow wedding again, Rose.

Let me write you a check. It's perfect.

There's another $200 missing.

Another $200? Did you check?

Yeah, I even checked the whoopsie
column.

That's it. No more stalling. We've got
to find out who that thief is.

It's somebody at this hotel, somebody
who works here. They're probably doing

something to throw us off the track.

I tell you, whoever it is is just
playing dumb.

May I help you?

Nobody could be that stupid.

Gotta be an act. Let's go nail her.

Rose, wait a minute.

Let's talk about this money you took.

Oh, no.

Oh, I knew I'd get caught eventually.

Thank goodness it's out in the open. I
don't have to hide anymore.

How did Juergen find me?

Juergen who?

Juergen Stoke from Bergen -Gerder.

nickel from in the third grade.

He was the class magician and he was
doing this trick on me.

You know, where you put a nickel in one
ear and pull it out the other.

Well, somehow the nickel got lost
between my ears.

You know, I've never been able to get
that nickel off my mind.

Poor Yergi. He wanted so much to be a
magician.

in his life.

We know how he feels, Ruth.

Well, at least now I know it's not her.
Who's next?

Well, how about Sophia?

Sophia? Don't be ridiculous.

Why, she would never steal from us.

Sophia's been like a mother to me for
these last eight years. Why, I wouldn't

dream of accusing her.

All right, you little witch, where's the
money?

What money? I don't know what you're
talking about. Stop, stop. Colin, don't

make me get rough.

I'm not talking, screw.

And by the way, that's a nickname, not a
suggestion.

Listen, Sophia, there's $500 missing
from this hotel and you had access to

money. That's right, and somebody had to
take it. So you assume it was me?

I'm the most honest person here. I've
never done a dishonest thing in my life.

Oh, yeah? Would you take a lie detector
test?

Ah, you can beat those things.

Okay, Sophia, you don't want to talk.
Perhaps you'd prefer to listen to one of

Rose's St. Olaf stories.

Please, Blanche, I told you. I didn't
take the money. Okay, Rose, give her the

Uncle Herky story and don't hold back on
the talking chickens.

Blanche, there are no talking chickens
in the Uncle Herky story.

Yeah, that's right. There's no talking
chickens. There's tick -talking

Little poultry time bombs, every one of
them.

Emotional messes, they roam through the
countryside. Stop it, Blanche. Stop it.

Stop it. Oh, I knew it was you all
along.

It's not me.

I just wanted to hear the Uncle Herky
story from Rose. It sounds pretty cool.

Thanks for the diversion, Chewy.

It's good to know that I have at least
one friend who'll stick up for me.

Besides, it's obvious who took the
money.

Or should I say, dinero.

What? What is she talking about?

would I take the money? Oh, Chewy, let's
face it, you're the most likely

suspect.

You know, this isn't the first time I've
been on the receiving end of prejudice.

I know, I look different.

People like you take one look at a guy
like me and just jump to conclusions.

Boy, short guys are so insecure.

So, I made a decision.

I'm getting back together again with
Miles.

What? Oh, don't try to talk me out of
it. I've given this a lot of thought.

I'm going to make him suffer a little
bit.

I'm going to make him plead with me.

But I'm going to give in.

But why? Honey, you were doing so well
on your own.

Oh, Blanche, I'm not doing that well.

It took me ten years to get over
Charlie, and I don't have that kind of

again.

I mean, maybe I am giving in. Maybe I'm
settling.

But at my age, I can't afford to be
proud.

Oh, but Rose. Well, what can I tell you?
I still call him up in the middle of

the night just to hear the cute things
he says.

Don't you know what time it is?

This happens again, I'm calling the
police.

Who the hell is this?

And then before I hang up, I always say,
you blew it big time, smart boy.

And he doesn't recognize your voice?

No. I talked to him through a kazoo.

And after the kiss, you and your

new husband will head back up the aisle.

Your bridesmaids will moo.

That will be that.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, it's the wedding I never had.

My husband, Charlie, wouldn't allow me
to have a dairy theme at ours.

He was proud, lactose intolerant.

Well, I hope you get your wish someday.

Who knows? Maybe I will.

I'm having my old boyfriend over today.

He wants me back.

I'm sure you're going to make him very
happy.

I'm going to make him crawl.

When I'm out of the dating scene, my man
problems are over forever.

Oh, Fern.

Miles. You know him?

Oh, yes. This is the man I'm getting
back together with.

Do you know him?

This is the man I'm going to marry.

This is the man who's my secret lover.

Just pointing out that things could get
worse.

back together again with this woman?

No, I just came down here to talk to
Rose.

You came down here to cheat on Fern.

No, I'm not cheating on Fern.

So would you like to explain why you
showed up here to beg me to take you

Rose, I'm here to tell you I am getting
married.

You call that begging?

This is horrible.

Rose, I'm sorry.

So wait a minute, Miles. You didn't know
that Fern was planning on having the

wedding here?

Oh, I had no idea.

I didn't tell you because I wanted to
surprise you with the cow theme.

We're having a cow theme? I know.

Isn't that like the craziest thing
you've ever heard of?

Oh, I've heard of it, but I never
dreamed I'd be lucky enough to have one.

So whose idea do you think it was?

How many times have you and I talked?
You talked about this very thing. Hello,

sweetheart. Don't sweetheart me.

This was supposed to be our day, our
wedding, our life.

Well, you blew it big time, smart boy.

Oh, my God, she's a kazoo woman.

You're up late.

What choice do I have?

I have to go through all my cookbooks
just to find a clue as to what a cow

wedding might be.

It's not like there's a lot written
about it, you know.

So what are you going to make?

I don't know. What do cows eat?

Grass.

Hey, there's an idea.

I could bake some of those brownies I
used to make in the 60s.

Never mind.

Can't sleep, Sophia.

No. I'm still upset about that
inquisition Blanche put me through.

accused me of stealing.

That's my purse, Sophia.

Oh, Rose, there you are.

Listen, I can't sleep because of this
wedding.

You know, the business is not that
important. If you don't want to have the

wedding here, let's call it off. No,
it's okay. I mean, we need the business.

I just feel so stupid thinking Miles was
coming here to apologize.

You're doing the right thing, Rose. You
should always place your business first.

In fact, I have a little story about
that. Really?

Picture it.

An old Italian lady tells a story to two
other old ladies and a cook.

Oh, that's what's going on here.

I've got to go further back.

Never mind, Sophia.

I'll work it out myself.

Where's she going?

I got it, I got it.

Picture it.

The time when dinosaurs ruled the earth.

Oh, great. Now she's going to tell us
one of her high school stories.

Rose, can I talk to you for a second?

I'm pretty busy right now, Miles.

Can't this wait till after you're
married to someone other than me?

Rose, I know how awkward this has been
for you, but you have to believe me,

Rose. I had no intention of hurting you.
I'm a professional, Miles.

I would never let my personal feelings
for you keep me from planning the best

wedding I can.

Well, I'm glad to hear that, Rose.

Hey, what are these stones for?

I thought we'd throw them instead of
rice.

This is not right. I can't get married
here.

No, damn it. You can't do this to me.

You have to get married here.

Maz, don't you understand?

It's not the business.

It's not the money.

It's me.

I have to see you get married.

I need to know that our relationship is
over.

I want to get on with my life, too.

Caught you with your pants down.

It's not exactly like being first man on
the moon.

I can't believe this, Blanche. You're
the embezzler. I'm not embezzling. I'm

just taking some money.

Yeah, and Mickey Rooney's not short.
He's just a couple of blocks away.

You want to tell me what you're doing?

happens i am taking this money to hire a
detective to catch the embezzler it's

you blanche taking the money is taking
the money you're embezzling no this is

for business expenses did you put a
receipt in the cash drawer now why would

put a receipt in the cash drawer it's my
money blanche the cash drawer is not

your cookie jar that's the business's
money what you're doing is embezzling

oopsie i do this all the time

I guess we don't need to hire a
detective after all.

No, wait a minute.

That's it?

You stir up all these accusations and
mistrust and now you're just going to

away? You are right.

I owe you all more than that.

Thank you.

I'm going to buy a new dress to look
pretty for you.

Well,

the

oven repairman is leaving. Boy, it's not
easy getting him out here on the

weekends. Oh, I should have asked him to
take a look at the oven while he was

here.

How's the wedding going?

Fine.

Are you okay?

You're doing the right thing, honey. I
want you to know that. Oh, I know.

I'm happy, really. I am.

Are you sure?

You know me.

I always cry at weddings.

Well, look, I can't figure this out. I
just checked the book again, and there's

still $100 missing.

Well, it wasn't me this time. Now, you
keep looking for that. If we don't find

it, heads will roll.

Man, I gotta get lucky.