Original subtitles

Being a friend Travel down the road And back again Your heart

Sophia, wet floor.

I can't do that on command. I have to be scared first.

Julie, wet floor.

What, somebody scared Sophia?

Well, don't you look nice.

It's taken two years, but as of today, I will have lost 140 pounds of ugly fat.

You used to be heavy?

No, married.

Yeah, today's the day that Chewie signs his final divorce papers. Oh, I bet you

have mixed feelings about that. Are you kidding? I'm thrilled it's over.

Eight years.

Eight long, miserable years.

You know what it's like to live with a foul -mouthed, vicious shrew for eight

years? Move it or lose it, you Danish dork.

I guess you do.

Girls, Dorothy just called from the airport. She's on her way.

Everybody's going to be together again.

Isn't it wonderful?

Oh, I can't wait for her to see the hotel.

Oh, Sophia, you must be so excited.

Absolutely. I haven't seen my baby in four months. I'm living for the moment

when I can see her and kiss her and hold her in my arms. I can hardly think of

anything else.

She's not staying in my room, is she?

Sophia, the hotel's booked solid for the next two days. Honey, I'd let her bunk

with me, but I have a big date tonight, and you know how Dorothy suffers from

motion sickness.

I'm as thrilled as anyone that Dorothy's coming, but please don't make me share

a bed with her again.

You remember what happened the last time. You mean when she mistook you for

pillow? Do you know what it's like being fluffed by Dorothy at three in the

morning?

Well, I just can't wait for her to get here.

She's going to be so proud when she sees what we've done with this hotel. You

know, Roland, she didn't think we'd be able to pull this off.

She thought we were too old. and inexperienced to run a hotel this big.

You know, this is just a stab in the dark, but was Dorothy the smart one in

group?

Hey, Chewy, did you sign those divorce papers?

All right.

You're free, man. How's it feel?

I don't know. You know, when I left the courthouse, I was feeling great, man. I

was whistling.

I threw my hat up in the air just like Mary Tyler Moore.

I even started running down the street like that girl.

I started belly dancing like I dreamed of Jeannie.

And then it hit me. You need some male role models?

No, it hit me that I really am alone. It's over.

Dolores is gone forever.

Oh, come on, Chewie. Dolores isn't the only woman out there for you. How do you

know? Maybe she is.

Man, maybe nobody will ever be interested in me. Man, what you need is

This is what I want you to do.

The next woman you see, I want you to walk up to her and talk to her and just

ask her out.

I don't know, man. I'm really rusty. No, no, no. Trust me, man. Just be

aggressive. What's the worst thing she could do? Say no?

No, I mean it, Chewy. The next woman.

The next woman.

Okay. Walk up to her and say, hey.

The next woman.

Mamacita.

Do you move as good as you look?

Walk away now and no one gets hurt.

You must be Dorothy.

I've heard a lot about you.

I'm Chewy.

Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Welcome to the hotel.

Yes, ma 'am. May I help you? I certainly hope so. I'm looking for the people who

run the... I was just counting this fare. I think you forgot to add a tip.

A tip?

A tip.

Let's review your performance, shall we?

Let's say you backed over my luggage, took the causeway during rush hour,

stopped the car twice to sell fruit out of your trunk.

A tip?

Walk away now and no one gets hurt.

You must be Dorothy.

So nice to meet you. I'm Roland Wilson.

Oh, how do you do?

Boy, you are nothing at all like I pictured you. What do you mean?

It's just that from everything that Blanche and Sophia and Rose told me

you, I'd expected you to be, you know, taller.

How much taller?

About five feet taller, actually.

Dorothy! Oh, I can't believe you're really here. Oh, it's you! You never

more beautiful. Oh, God, I missed you, darling.

We've been looking forward to this for so long. It's going to be the best three

days ever.

The three musketeers together again.

The four musketeers. Oh, Sophia, look, Dorothy's here.

Ma.

Pussycat.

Ma, I'm over here.

Get the hell away from me.

I've never really been as into this as they are.

I've got to get back.

Wonderful to see you all again. And the place is beautiful.

I can't wait to see my room.

Oh, Dorothy, you know, we're just booked solid. I hope you don't mind doubling

up with one of us.

Well, of course not. I'll sleep with Rose.

She has the fluffiest pillows.

You don't mind, do you, dear?

Oh, that's fun.

Well, great.

Let's show you the rest of the hotel.

Oh, another great...

asked again where his English muffins are. You tell that ungrateful vermin at

table four if he doesn't shut up about his damn muffins, I'll pour hot butter

his nooks and crannies.

Oh, Roland, thank God you're here. That dining room is packed, and Chee hasn't

shown up for work yet this morning. Do you have any idea where he might be?

But Chee's still missing?

Oh, no, this is my fault. This is all my fault that he's missing. Why? What are

you talking about?

Well... He was so depressed about his divorce that I thought I needed to get

out, you know, and have some fun. So I took him to the Velvet Slipper last

night. Why would I even take him to such a cheap, sleazy dive?

I knew that was you. I knew that was you.

Sorry. Okay, you guys.

I'm ready to go to the beach.

Oh, Dorothy.

You know, actually, this isn't a great time.

Oh, QA didn't show up for work this morning, and we're swamped.

All right, I've bussed the tables.

Mom, what are you doing? This is way too heavy for you. Please, I do it three

times a day, every day. I'm used to it. Besides, it's no heavier than you were

when you were born.

Ma, this tub must weigh 30 pounds.

That's exactly what the doctor said when he delivered you.

Oh, Dorothy, this is not what we had planned for this weekend, but would you

mind if we asked you to give us a hand today?

Oh, honey, of course not.

As a matter of fact, I have had a little experience with this. Really? Sure.

When I was a little girl, I used to love to pretend I was a waitress. You know,

Ma would play along with me, pretend to be my customer. I'd serve her dinner and

she'd complain about the service and threaten not to tip.

We sure had fun.

But after a while, she had me playing waitress all the time. You know, when

had a dinner party, when a bridge club came over.

I mean, I enjoyed it because I thought it was a game.

I mean, what reason did a five -year -old have for not trusting her own

Here we go again.

You used me.

It was our quality time.

Quality time? You referred to me as the help.

It was a nickname.

On Thursdays, you lent me out to the neighbors.

So you learned to trade.

Ungratitude. That's all I've gotten from any of my employees. Kids.

My kids.

Right there.

Go.

Excuse me.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Like what?

Aren't you going to say have a nice day? No.

five minutes that I served you, you complained about the food, the coffee,

service, and said that in my case, a sprinkle a day wasn't quite doing the

trick.

I don't care if you have a pulse, much less a nice day.

Then you owe me some pie.

What? It says at the bottom of the menu, if any waitress after presenting the

bill doesn't say have a nice day, she has to give the customer a piece of pie

for free.

You owe me some pie.

This is ridiculous.

What idiot would institute a policy like that?

Have a nice day.

How about this?

You tell me to have a nice day now, and I'll skip the piece of pie.

Have a nice day.

can't hear you.

Have a nice day.

Now say it like you mean it.

I'll go get your pie.

Rose, do we have anything that gets out stains?

No, I don't think we do. Why do you ask?

Hey, this is my best suit.

I spilled something.

Here's your last box of tomatoes.

Oh, I'll tell Roland to put it on the order list.

Come on, what's the matter?

What's wrong?

Nothing, I'm just catching my breath. Look, I've seen what's been going on

around here. Rose and Blanche are working you too hard.

Look at you, you're white as a sheet.

That's because I'm in between heartbeats. Come back in 15 minutes,

like the last of the Mohicans.

Lucas?

It's me.

I miss you, too.

No, no, Ma's okay.

Actually, she's not, honey. That's what I'm calling you about. Yeah, remember

what we talked about, you know, before I left?

Well, after seeing what's going on around here, I think the best thing for

if she comes home to live with us.

Man, we've been worried sick.

Man, I called everywhere looking for you. Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I was just busy, that's all.

Busy doing what?

Wait for me, sweetie.

Busy getting married.

Chewy. Please tell us that this is a joke.

No, it's no joke.

Roland, Rose, Blanche, I'd like you to meet Beverly.

My wife.

We met last night at the Velvet Slipper.

I was behind him in the rumba line. He had the cutest butt I had ever seen.

Oh, please.

Is that any reason to marry a man?

Yeah, Blanche is right. How could you be so shallow?

What about the chest? What about the shoulders?

Oh, Chewie, this is crazy, man. You two don't know anything about one another?

That's not true. Chewie and I spent a lot of time talking last night. We told

each other our life story.

Even though we just met, I know everything there is to know about him.

Chewie Castillos, where have you been?

Our last name is Castillos.

Hey, look, can we all talk about this later, okay? Oh, you stay right there,

sweetie. I'll go get the bags.

You already have luggage with this woman.

Look, I just got married. Can you guys be a little bit happy for me? Oh, we're

sorry, Chewy.

So, was it a nice wedding? I guess so.

I don't remember too much about it. Just we used a tequila worm as a witness.

Look, that is it.

We're going to tell Beverly that this has been one big mistake. We're going to

find that worm, get that judge, and have this thing annulled. Now, come on,

Chewy. Wait, wait, wait, man. What's all this weed business, huh?

This is my life and my decision.

And I say Beverly and I are going to give this marriage a shot. Come on. You

just met her. You haven't even dated her. You don't know anything about her.

Marriage is serious.

It's not something you just hop into like a bed.

Well, look, I know it's kind of sudden, but who's to say we can't be happy

together, huh?

I just do not believe this. How could this have happened?

Okay, I admit it. I got a little drunk. Drunk? You had one margarita.

God, I'd hate to see what happened if you had two.

Oh, Julie, I'm... Crazy about the new car you bought me.

That's what happens.

Oh, good. You're all here.

We need to talk.

Well, I guess we need to talk.

You've been here a whole day and the four of us haven't had one minute to sit

down and gab. No, actually, I want to talk to you. We're going to be talking

about sex, aren't we?

Duh.

What do you say? Should I get out the cheesecake?

Duh.

You know, I really have missed you guys.

Oh, Dorothy, and we have missed you, too.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, this is going to be just like old times.

Okay, now, Dorothy, I want you to tell us everything about the honeymoon. Don't

you leave out a thing.

Well, we got to the airport late, but Lucas managed to find a sky cat. Yeah,

yeah, who cares? How is the sex?

I know it's been a while, but didn't we used to let these stories build a little

before? We were younger. We had more time. How was this?

Well,

I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but Lucas and I did a little

experimenting.

And?

Well, I tell you, it was amazing.

I mean, for the first time in my life, I just shed all my inhibitions.

I took risks. I threw caution to the wind.

What did you do?

Well, for starters, I left the lights on.

Ladies and gentlemen, Madonna.

Well, I know you girls think I'm aggressive, but George was a wild man.

He was so impetuous.

I remember one night after dinner, he took me right there on the dining room

table.

Were you surprised?

Well, when you've been lying naked on a lazy Susan, you kind of expect a little

action.

Dorothy,

you okay?

I'm fine.

Now, I tell you, there's something that I really have to talk to you guys about,

and... It's just a little difficult for me.

Well, for goodness sakes. You never had any problem talking to us before.

What's wrong?

Well, first of all, let me tell you that I know how difficult this business has

been for you. And I think you've just done a terrific job.

But, well, it's an awful lot of work.

Yeah? So what are you getting at?

Well, I think that Ma is much too old to be working this hard. And I want her to

come back to Atlanta with me.

What? But we need Sophia. We depend on her. I think you depend on her too much.

But she enjoys the work.

And we'll make sure she doesn't overdo it. Can I say something? Look, I know

that you've done your best, but, Rose, if you really care about Ma, you won't

fight me on this. Right, and you care so much that this is the first time you've

been to visit in four months. Can I say something? Look, after the wedding,

Lucas and I needed some time together, and I thought about Ma every day.

Well, I think about Nick Nolte every day.

That doesn't give me the right to kidnap him, does it?

Does it?

Look, I think I know what's best for Ma.

Well, we think you don't. Can I say something here?

Boy, it just went out of my head.

Ma! I remember.

If anyone is going to decide where I'm going to live, it's going to be me.

Got that?

Okay. Where do you want to live? More importantly, whom do you want to live

with? Remember, Ma, one of us is your flesh and blood.

Yeah, but also remember that two of us didn't put you in a home.

Both in your court, pussycat.

Look, Ma, just make a decision.

And if I can't? Then we'll make it for you.

Huh?

I need some time. I'm going to my room.

I can't believe I'm being forced to choose between the three of you.

Hey, morning, Rose.

Oh, morning, Chewy.

Oh, Rose, I want to thank you for yesterday.

You know, you were the only one that didn't give me any grief about marrying

Beverly. Well, I just figured it's your life.

I mean, if you want to throw it away, marrying some cheap tart and a drunken

stupor.

Who am I to object?

You're a good friend.

Has she come down yet?

Who? Amelia Earhart, Rose.

Ma, has Ma come down to tell us her decision?

No, not yet.

Well, then I'm afraid I'm going to have to make the decision for her. She's

coming home with me. Dorothy. Look, I'm sorry.

I only want what's best for Ma.

We all want what's best for her.

All right, Dorothy, I hope you're satisfied. Look, don't start again.

I've made my decision about Ma.

Oh, really? Well, I just went up to her room and...

Her suitcase is gone and this is on a dresser.

Well, what does it say?

I can't choose between my own daughter and two women I think of as daughters.

I'm sorry.

I just can't.

Well, I don't understand. What does this mean?

It means Sophia has run away.