Original subtitles

Thank you for being a friend.

Come down the road and back again.

Your heart.

Just three tables all day, and I've only made $7 in tips.

I need to make some money. Maybe I should wear a shorter skirt.

Maybe you should just threaten to.

What silly little thing do you need money for now, Sophia?

Teeth.

Hey, but those teeth look just fine.

They're loners.

So what happened to your teeth?

You may not know this, but a lot of foreign beers don't have twist -off

recycling bin why well i have to raise 50 bucks by friday my class is going to

water world this weekend and it costs 25 to get in oh but then why do you need

50 because because why because someone's got a girlfriend

hey cut it out okay she's just a friend who happens to be a girl

Oliver has just decided to raise some money for a very worthy cause.

His new girlfriend.

Is everybody busting their chops about this kid, making that woo -woo sound?

Yeah. Well, good. You won't mind when I do it.

Hey,

cut it out, you guys.

Oh, we'll talk about this later, all right? Man to man.

All right, well, later.

Julie, I need $5 quick.

Well, okay, here.

What's the problem?

You know that woman I was serving lunch to? She doesn't have any money to pay

her check.

Now, I told you, you can't go helping every deadbeat who comes in here. She's

not a deadbeat. Her name is Vivian, and she's very sweet.

She just happened to misplace her wallet, that's all. In any event, you

need money. This is our restaurant. If you want to pick up somebody's check,

just sign for it. I know that.

I'm here, you know, if you need any help talking to Oliver about dating.

Oh, yeah.

I guess it is about time I had that little talk with him about, you know.

Sex. Well, you can say it. It's not a dirty word.

Yeah, go ahead and say it.

Sex.

Okay, when Chewie says it, it's a dirty word.

But still, we have to face the fact that Oliver's growing up and he needs the

truth. I know. I just hadn't anticipated this happening so soon.

I mean, just yesterday I saw him in his room making little animals with Rose's

Play -Doh Fun Factory.

Now I got to tell him about sex.

Man, will you stop saying that?

Look, I got to have this big talk with Oliver. I just wish I knew what to tell

him. My mama told me that sex was a woman's duty.

That was the word she used, duty.

And I guess I've been a proud little soldier ever since.

Soldier, you're a four -star general. I salute you.

Golden Palace.

No, sir, we don't serve Chinese food. This is the Golden Palace Hotel. You

the Golden Palace Restaurant.

Mm -hmm.

Another call for that new Chinese restaurant?

I'm glad business is good for somebody.

Seven bucks and tips all day, and then we get stiffed on the old lady's bill.

Left my purse at home. Please, I used that line when I was in my 70s.

The thing is, Rose sure does seem to like her. Probably because she's been

willing to listen to St. Olaf stories for about an hour.

Golden Palace.

No, we don't serve any Chinese food. This is the Golden Palace Hotel.

You get a lot of those Chinese restaurant calls?

Yeah, at least 20 a day.

Really?

20 a day?

Ka -ching!

May I say something?

You remind me in so many ways of my mother.

We used to do this a lot. You know, have lunches and just gossiping and telling

stories.

I've forgotten how much I miss those talks.

Well, if you'd like, why don't you just call me Mama?

That's what everyone calls me anyway.

Mama? All right, that's what I'll call you from now on.

Would you like some more tea, Mama? No, thank you, Charlene.

Who's Charlene?

You are silly.

Honestly, Charlene, I don't have time for these little games of yours.

Mama is very tired now.

Vivian, Mama, do you have a phone number where I could call your husband?

Charlene, Daddy is in Germany now, fighting in the war.

But I'll tell you this, Mr.

Hitler... He better start running if he ever meets up with your daddy before he

has had his coffee.

Mama is going to take a little nap now.

Will you walk me to my room, Charlene? Of course.

Mama?

If you'll just wait one second.

Is that the woman who lost her purse?

Among other things.

Where's Roland?

Oh, he's in the office. Give me a key to an empty room. I'll explain later.

You'll explain what later?

Oh, my goodness, I know you.

Well, I'm Roland Wilson. I'm the manager of this hotel.

You don't fool me, Mr.

Liberace.

Say what? It's nap time.

I want to talk to Liberace.

Excuse us, ma 'am. I'm a little worried about this.

Well, you don't need to be. You don't look a thing like Liberace.

Well, except when you walk.

Rose, I think your friend has some problems.

Roland, she's in trouble.

Maybe she was abandoned. I've read about this.

I mean, people dump their elderly. It happens all the time. Well, maybe she's

just lost.

But in any event, don't get in over your head, okay?

Now, I've got to go to the accountant. I want you to call the police. As of this

moment, we are all liable if anything happens to this woman.

Okay.

Okay. Mr. Liberace, will you be playing in town anytime soon?

Ma 'am, I'm not Liberace.

Oh, there's that famous walk again.

Why don't we go upstairs?

Oh, the poor thing.

Can you imagine living in that kind of fantasy world? Every day I thank the

I still have my mind.

Golden Palace.

Oh, yeah, we have a Chinese takeaway.

Three orders of Mugu Gai Pan.

Two wonton.

Your name?

Okay, my name.

saved for your date who me that name's already taken how much

about 30 bucks how would you like to invest it make some real money fast

me in i'll get my money hey you who me i don't want to have to tell you again

i'm who me you're hey you

Yes, Mr. Gross.

One mooshu pork and three potstickers.

We'll have that to you in less than 30 minutes, or it'll take longer.

Rose, Rose, hold it right there.

Rose, an old woman upstairs just asked me if she could swim in my piano -shaped

pool.

Who do you suppose that could be?

I have no idea.

Rose, Vivian is in this hotel.

I don't know what you're talking about.

And I'm offended that you'd even say such a thing.

Rose, why didn't you call the police?

Because I knew they'd put her in a shelter, and I don't think she can take

Rose, I don't think this is a very good idea.

That's exactly what I said to my sister when she wanted to put my mother in a

home.

But I let her convince me it was for the best, and it wasn't.

They took good care of her, but she was scared.

And in a few weeks, the damage had been done.

I've spent the last six years wishing I had it to do all over again.

So I've made a decision.

Until we find out where she belongs, Vivian lives here.

Rose, you cannot keep Vivian at this hotel.

I told you, Roland, I have my reasons. You wouldn't understand.

I know you think you know what you're doing, Rose, but if you don't follow...

No, Roland, I do know what I'm doing.

Rose. Rose, what is it?

No use. You cannot talk to her when she gets that way. She has a real stubborn

streak. Seven years she worked on that Rubik's Cube.

Seven years.

And that was just to get it out of the box.

But seriously, I'll go talk to her.

You want to change your order to four potstickers?

My name, who, me?

No, I don't have a cold and I didn't take your order.

Who would come up with a ridiculous name?

Sophia!

Sophia!

We need another sizzling rice and we're getting low on fortune cookies.

Okay, got it.

What the hell is going on in here? Nothing, normal lunch, get out.

Chinese restaurant orders. Oh, I am not.

Okay,

so I am.

Who is she?

That's Dr. Fong. She's a friend of mine.

She's also one of the best acupuncturists in the country.

She also makes a mean butterfly shrimp.

Butterfly shrimp.

Look, you can't do this.

We're doing this for the kid. He needs to raise some money for his big date.

We're just trying to help him out.

You know, so maybe after his class trip, he can take her to a movie or

something. Oh, well, how much have you raised so far?

$1 ,200.

$1 ,200 for a movie?

Popcorn?

All right, here's the deal.

Pay Oliver back his money plus a little... so we can go on this date.

Pay Dr. Fong for her work, deduct the cost of the food, and give the rest of

money to the real Golden Palace restaurant.

What do you mean give back the money, man? We earned it. Chewy, you took

man's business. That's not ethical.

Hey, it's a dog -eat -dog world.

Dog? No good dog.

Rose, as for Vivian, you know she can't stay here.

Roland, I stay. I stayed up all night talking with this woman. And even though

don't know who she is, I know her.

And she thinks I'm her daughter.

Blanche, what do you think?

$1 ,200 is a lot of money. I think we ought to serve Chinese food all the

About Vivian, what would you do about Vivian?

Who, me?

Leave me out of this.

So, you want to know what I think?

Vivian really ought to be with her real family right now.

Not a fantasy.

So if there's a chance they could find her, I think she'd want to take it. I

agree.

Now, Rose, I understand how hard this is for you, but what if there's someone

out there looking for Vivian?

I mean, what if they think she's lost to them forever? At least in a home,

there's a chance she'll be found.

I'll call the police.

Excuse me.

Vivian's having tea in the dining room.

I don't want to watch when they take her away.

You're doing the right thing, Rose.

I know.

Mrs. Nyland, we're here to pick up the older woman.

Her name is Vivian. Yes, ma 'am.

Listen, we have some papers for you to sign. Is there any way we could... Yeah,

we can use the back office.

Isn't there any way she can stay with me? I'm sorry, Mrs. Nyland. Don't worry,

ma 'am. She'll be well taken care of.

This way.

Would you like me to freshen that up for you?

Thank you.

Where is Charlene?

I haven't seen her since morning.

She cares for you very much, you know.

You must try to remember that.

She only wants to do what's best for you.

We all want to.

What's the matter, Consuela?

Well, you just relax while I get you a nice glass of juice. Would you like

Sure, but not apple. I'd like to walk out of here tonight.

I wish there was a way out of this.

Come on, Vivian.

You're going for a ride.

What? No, you got the wrong old lady. I'm Consuelo. I mean, Vivian. Sophia.

My name is Sophia.

Same as a rock. Come on. Test me. Test me.

Okay, let's go. Come on. Wait a minute. You got the wrong old lady.

You got the wrong old lady.

Help. Help.

You got the wrong lady. I don't want to go.

Help. Don't listen, Rose. Trust me. We did the right thing.

All the birdies and the bees? Man, are you kidding? I've read three books on

psychology, four books on biology, and Shelley Winters' autobiography.

Then might I add, yes.

Hey, man, you can't teach a kid about sex from books, especially with the MTV

generation. Man, you need visuals, which is why I picked up these guys.

Puppets?

Chewie, I'm not going to teach Oliver about sex with some puppets. I wrote

little puppet. play and everything don't you want to hear it i knew one day my

love of puppet plays would get me in trouble go ahead this is called long

day's journey into puberty by chewy castillos

There's a bunch of things I'm not supposed to do with you.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

And then it gets real technical.

What do you think?

Well, if you only see one puppet play this year, run, don't walk to Long Day's

Journey into Puberty. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Look, here comes a kid. Get those away from me. Let me have this, okay?

Bye.

See you later, Chili.

Uh, you wanted to see Miro?

Yeah, Oliver, have a seat.

Look, Oliver, you're beginning to grow up.

And as you get older, as the butterfly soon

turns into a moth, a young boy's passing fancies

soon turn to pollen.

And in 1953, Shelley Winters met Marlon Brando on the set of On the Wall.

If you're going to tell me about sex, you don't have to.

They're teaching it to me next semester at school.

Well, you know, that's the way you want to go with this, okay?

But look, if there's anything you don't understand, anything at all, I'm here

for you.

Well, I do have one question.

Oh, God.

Is it normal not to care about sex?

I mean, like Amy, this girl I'm taking to Waterworld.

I like her just as a friend.

Is that normal?

Yes, that's normal.

That's perfectly normal.

Look, don't ever be in a hurry to grow up, okay? You're just a kid for a little

while. Enjoy it.

Thanks, Ron. I will. All right.

Chewie did his puppet play without me.

Who played Susie? Bad girl.

Oliver, about an hour ago.

Well, Vivian, she's outside.

Oh, there you are.

Oh, no.

She came back, Roland. She must have escaped. It's a sign. No, if she'd

the police would have called. Something else happened.

Well, I don't care what happened. It's not going to happen again. From now on,

Vivian lives here, and that's final.

Where's Sophia?

You don't think they took Sophia?

Oh, we've got to straighten this out.

Hey, what's the rush?

Darlene was looking for her down at the shelter.

After an hour, I finally talked these guys into bringing us all down here.

Mrs. Petrillo, again, I apologize.

And I'm sorry I made you frisk me so many times.

It's not like we're even.

Sophia told us what you did.

You probably saved Mama's life. I was worried sick. I've been looking all over

for her.

Thank you.

Oh, no, please. It was a pleasure.

Your mother's a wonderful woman. You promise you'll bring Mama back to visit

We will.

Oh, Mr.

Liberace! My daughter has never heard you play, and I was wondering...

Look, ma 'am, really, I can't. Come on, Lee, what do you say?