All language subtitles for fantasy_island_s02e11_carnival_-_the_vaudevillians

Good morning, Bob.

Good morning, Tattoo. Well, you seem to
be in exceptionally good spirits this

morning. Why not? I'm going to become a
millionaire very soon.

Again? And what marvelous money -making
idea have you come up with this time?

Oh, this time, it's a winner.

I've become an inventor.

See? Indeed.

What is it?

Oh, it's a sleeping bag.

Looks awfully small for a sleeping bag.

Oh, it's big enough to hold two people
of your size.

In such a small object as this?

Uh -huh.

What's this string?

Oh, you just pull the string, and the
bag will unfold, and then you're ready

a nice cozy evening.

Really?

Why don't you try it?

All right.

Inventor, indeed.

Well, back to the drawing board.

Smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

Mr.

Charlie Parks of Spokane, Washington.

Hmm. A real old -timer.

Who is he?

A runaway.

Runaway? At his age?

From what?

Not what.

Whom?

Mr. Parks is running away from his
children.

You see, they want to place him in a
retirement home.

And his fantasy is not to get caught.

His fantasy, my friend, is to become a
success in vaudeville.

Vaudeville? He's been there for years.

That's true, but Mr. Parks is convinced
that he and his former partner can

breathe new life into it.

Partners? You mean there is two people
who still believe that vaudeville can be

brought back?

His partner is Will Fields. The two of
them haven't seen each other in 35

when they last appeared on stage as
Parks and Fields.

Oh, boss, you're backing a real loser
this time.

Boss, that young lady, she seems almost
afraid to leave the plane.

Perhaps she's afraid of finding that her
most cherished memory was nothing more

than a fantasy.

That's pretty confusing.

The young lady is Dorothy Weller. She's
a secretary.

Two years ago, she visited Guadalupe and
fell in love with the man of her

dreams. They enjoyed a glorious three
-day romance.

Only three days?

Why so brief?

After an auto accident, Miss Weller was
in a coma.

When she recovered... Her lover had
disappeared, and everyone denied that

man ever existed.

Now she fears that perhaps he wasn't
real, that she dreamed the romantic idol

while unconscious after the accident.

And that's why she come on Fantasy
Island?

To find out once and for all whether the
man she fell in love with really

existed or was merely a beautiful dream.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rourke, your
host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Like I said in my letter, I advertised
in the Hollywood Reporter, the Daily

Variety, every trade paper around, but I
could not find my partner.

Where did you locate him, Mr. Rock?

Jersey City, New Jersey.

How do you like that?

He's on one coast, I'm on the other
coast.

How is he?

For a young man of 67, he's in very fine
condition, Mr. Parks.

God love him. Will is such a ham. He
belongs between two slices of bread.

Well, when can I see the old geezer?

Right now. Just step inside.

You mean he's in here? Yes. Come on.

Oh, I see the look of disappointment on
your face, Mr. Fields.

Were you expecting someone else? Your ex
-partner, perhaps?

Well... Actually, yes.

Charlie!

Charlie,

do you think cranberries are healthy?

They must be. I have never heard one
complain.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie, how do you
feel?

How do I look?

How'd you get hurt?

Tattoo, do you get the feeling that we
are somewhat unnecessary?

We are going to be terrific, Charlie.
I'm talking about terrific.

Charlie, you're making me live again.
How about a drink? You want a little

touch? Well, I don't need a touch. I'm
floating just being with you. Sit down.

Mr. Rock said he found you in Jersey
City.

What happened?

Did you get lost?

No, no, no. Come on.

I like Jersey City. I've been living
there 10 years. How about you?

3 ,000 miles away.

Walla Walla.

Walla Walla, Washington, huh? What'd you
do, snatch a pocketbook?

Come on, it's my home.

Let me ask you, did you ever get
married?

No, no, no. I still got my bachelor's
degree.

How about you?

She passed away some three years ago.

Oh, I'm sorry, Charlie. Come on, Will.
Well,

it's okay. I've got two great kids. Boy
and a girl all grown up and out on their

own. Good boy. That's terrific. Hey, I
see you've been going over the old

routines. I'm not going over the old
routines. They're beautiful, man. You

some jewels in there. You got some
boffs. Not only that, it's got class,

Charlie. class. That's what they want
today, class and fun.

Boy, hearing that from you makes me feel
like somebody.

I've been polishing up that sub for the
last four years. Think you can handle

success like you did in the old days,
Will? Can't wait to get on those boards,

Charlie.

Let me ask you something.

You think we got a chance?

Sure we do.

Let's get on with the rehearsal.

Let's move in. Now, look, I think we...
What kind of clothes do I wear? I want

better... Loud!

Loud!

Where are we going, Mr. Roark?

You will see, presently.

Could you answer one question?

Does Tom exist, or did I just imagine
him?

I'm afraid you'll have to discover that
for yourself.

But, my fantasy, you promised me that...
That you would know the truth.

And you will, Miss Weller.

Before your stay ends.

At least you can tell me where we're
going.

To a certain small village.

In many respects, it resembles a place
in Guadalupe, where you believe

you met Mr. Parnello.

balloons and banner.

The villagers are preparing for the
fiesta de la primavera.

This more than resembles the place, Mr.
Rourke. It's almost a carbon copy.

Really? Uh -huh.

You will be staying here.

As you can see, you are expected.

Well, what now?

I'm afraid circumstances must steer
their own course.

Oh, that's not mine.

Oh, yes.

Yes, it is. It's your costume.

Costume? For what?

That too.

You hear it too, don't you?

Yes. We used to sit in a little cafe and
listen to it. I thought that I had

imagined it.

If the song is real, then maybe...
Excuse me, Mr. Roark.

Si, senorita.

That song.

What's it called?

Oh, it is nothing important. Just a
little carnival song. But tonight, we

having a village carnival.

I see.

I think I remember.

Do you know a wine called Cuervas de
Campinguez?

Oh, very well. I would offer you a
glass, but unfortunately, a gentleman

there just ordered the very last bottle.

But I have a very fine Madeira. I'm sure
you'll enjoy it.

Turkish cigarettes.

So I didn't imagine that either.

Did you see which way he went?

I don't know, senorita, but perhaps he
went out this way.

Yes, miss?

Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were
somebody...

I'm sorry.

Yes, come in.

I did it, Mr. Rorick. I did it. I shot
down the Red Baron.

Oh, that's wonderful, Mr. Smith.

Ace. Oh, I'm so happy for you. I'll be
the envy of the Sopwith Cattle Society

when I tell them about it.

Oh, what a fight he put up.

I came at him. Out of the sun.

My twin Vicar 303s stitching his wings.

Right at his neck. Right at his neck.
Right at his neck.

He was a gallant gentleman.

We saluted each other as he went down in
flames.

Borgest, Mr.

Ace.

Borgest.

Oh, Mr.

Rorick, is there an optometrist on the
island?

Of course, Mr. Smith. But what's wrong?

Well, I'm afraid I need new glasses.

From some angles, his Fokker triplane
actually looked like a miniature.

The wings seemed hardly eight feet long.

Oh, I'm sure that was just the
excitement of the moment.

Oh, yes.

Well, thank you, Mr. Rorick.

Thank you for everything.

Off we go into the wild.

Promise me.

Promise me that you're not going to sell
any more Red Baron fantasy.

But, Tattoo, you know it's one of our
most popular requests.

Yes, but this is the third time I get
shot down in flame this week, you know.

can't take it anymore.

Now, ladies and gentlemen, this time we
present the Inquiring Reporter Program.

Now, my job is to interview people, you
know, as they pass through.

So if I could secure the services of a
young man... Hold it!

My friend, you're asking for a young
man? You're in the wrong room.

You can't live long enough to look that
bad.

Guide of the March of Time, this is his
brother.

Waste of time. Did you get it?

Not bad. Look at that face. I want you
to get a look at that kisser. Got more

chins than a Chinese phone book.

You could stand him in the garden and
the crows would bring back stuff they

stole eight months ago. Tell me
something. What do you do for a living?

I work in a Venetian blind factory.

Pretty good. Tell me something. How do
you make a Venetian blind? Well, that's

easy. You poke him in the eyes. How
about that one?

You know, you think you're pretty smart,
huh? I should be.

I was born twins.

Born twins? How does that make you so
smart?

Well, two heads are better than one. You
get it? Two heads are better than one.

Do you have any difficulty with your
brother?

I'll say everything he did, I got the
blame for it. Well, that I don't

understand. Let me explain. When we were
kids and played baseball, if he broke a

window, I got the blame for it. Well,
that's because you looked alike.

Yes! What else?

Later on in life, I met a beautiful
girl.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

What do you think happened?

That rat married her. Well, that's the
end, buddy. You can't... I mean, that's

awful. Oh, hold it, hold it. I got even
with him.

How could you possibly get even with
him?

Well, last week I died.

And they buried him. And they buried
him.

Bravo. You're both going to kill them. I
was wrong. Did you like that?

You liked it, huh, Tattoo?

Partner, it's like we've never been
away.

Wait,

come back.

The beach boathouse?

Alone.

It's really you.

Oh, my darling.

You're real.

You're real.

Darling, maybe you think I haven't acted
like it, but I do love you.

I love you very much.

I thought about you every day for the
past three years.

Somehow I feel that everything's going
to be all right now.

Everything.

Mr. Parks, how nice to see you. Come in.

Have a seat, won't you?

I'll stand.

Thank you.

On the phone, you said you had a bone to
pick with me.

We want to know how much you're charging
our father for this ridiculous scheme

of his for bringing back Vaudeville.

I'm afraid the prices my guests pay are
confidential.

But let me understand.

Are you suggesting that I am somehow
swindling your father, Mr. Parks?

You tell me.

Vaudeville's dead and buried.

Oh, your father prefers to think of it
as a sleeping giant, one he hopes to

awaken. With all due respects, our
father is 66 years old. He belongs in a

retirement home, not on a tropical
island with some idiotic fantasy.

Indeed. Unfortunately, your father
doesn't think so. Oh, come on now, Mr.

You know and I know that old people do
not always do what's best for

And people of your age, too.

When can we see our father, Mr. Rohr?

I'll arrange a meeting.

Is there anything else?

The two of us?

Have a nice day.

Okay, gracias.

Buenos dias, huh?

Remember how to do this? Well, I'm a
little out of practice.

Try it. Really good.

It's delicious.

You know, when I came to at the
hospital, after the crash, I looked

but nobody could tell me anything.

They didn't even remember you.

I thought I was losing my mind.

Well, that's the way it had to be.

It wasn't an accident.

We were both supposed to be killed.

But...

I never lied to you because you never
asked me what I did.

I've been a spy, professional spy, for
ten years.

A spy?

I was going to quit when we first met
each other.

But I made too many enemies.

And they followed me to Guadalupe.

I knew you'd be safe if I left.

That's the reason for the little boy in
the message.

And why we can't meet in the village.

I had to be absolutely sure we were
safe.

And is it now?

Mm -hmm.

We'll never lose each other ever again.

That's my new invention.

I got a patent rights from my cousin,
Hugo.

Your cousin, Hugo?

That tool, will you never learn?

Oh, no, boss, but this is fantastic.

It's a new lighter that works on water.

Water?

No butane gas?

No lighter fluid?

Only water.

It's a real energy saver. Let me show
you how it works.

Wait a minute.

That's it.

Tattoo, I must admit I was wrong about
your cousin Hugo.

You are going to make millions of
dollars from a lighter like that.

But, boss, how can I?

This thing don't even work.

Simple. You merely sell it to people who
want to quit smoking.

Can I move in with you?

No.

I've got a better idea.

Why don't... Why don't I move in with
you?

Okay.

Whatever you want.

Mr. Rourke has left me a beautiful
costume for the festival.

So let's dress up, have fun, and then
come home. I'll go back to my hotel and

get my stuff. I'll see you in a little
while. Okay. All right.

Bye -bye.

So long.

The guy sitting on the lower porch is
furious.

The water keeps dripping down. He yells
up, hey, that water's dripping down

here. That's my wife sitting here.

And the other guy yells down, what do
you think I got up here, a dunk?

That's my kids.

Let me get out of here. Why not stay and
straighten matters out? Just a minute.

Hold it. You set this whole thing up in
here.

Aren't you going to ask us to join you,
Dad? You promised me my shot.

So I did, Mr. Fox.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

You might as well sit down.

Do me a favor, though.

Save the lectures, huh?

Dad, we want you to call this whole
thing off and come home with us. I

I'm committed $20 ,000 worth.

Dad, that's your life savings. Look at
one silly fantasy. It'd be so expensive.

And it all adds up fast.

Mr. Rock had to locate Will. Fly him in.
He's also flying in.

Critics, bookers, agents.

Customs, music, theater rentals.

I figure I got off cheap.

How can I make you two understand? I
have to go through with this.

You have to? What does that mean, Dad?

What are you two doing to me? I'm your
father.

I'm the guy that raised you, wiped your
nose, changed your diapers.

Doesn't that count for anything?

Dad.

Don't you see everybody's got a right to
their dream?

Everybody's got a right to take a shot
at the big time.

I never realized that 35 years ago.

Dad, you're 66 years old.

What does that mean?

Supposed to roll over and play dead?

66 is the number. It's how you feel
inside that counts.

Adam, Doris, please.

Don't dump me in that old folks' home.

That's nothing but a dying room.

Stop talking like that.

And stop giving me a reason to talk like
that.

Dad, give this up. Come home with us.
Listen to her. She's right. She's not

right. Neither one of you is right.

When that curtain goes up tonight, parks
and fields are going to be there.

Center stage.

Dad, I'll make room. Come live with me.
No, no, no. It's my responsibility.

You can move in with Jim and me. I'll
fix up the utility room.

Thanks a lot. You mean the one off the
garage?

No, thanks.

But there is something you can do for me
if it isn't asked too much.

It sure would be nice to have one's own
flesh and blood out front applauding for

us.

Dad, don't do this to yourself.

Boss. Boss.

You're not going to let them take
their...

That is fantasy away, are you?

It's not up to me to do.

That decision belongs to their father.

You look like a troubled man.

I've been debating some things my kids
said.

Maybe they're right.

I've been living out a fantasy of
desperation.

Either I bring back vaudeville or I pack
myself off to the old folks' home.

Well, vaudeville isn't coming back.

It's dead and buried.

And I'm not so sure I wouldn't be better
off the same way.

You're just scared.

Sure, I'm scared.

You ever try standing up on that stage
with the whole audience looking right at

you? I've got a better one for you.

I've been a midget, and I've always
looked down on you.

Sometimes I wake up in the morning, and
I don't even want to get out of bed.

But you can live your life in hiding.

Mr. Parks, you've been waiting 35 years
for this chance.

Don't chicken out now.

Come on.

You're going to kill them tonight.

Thanks, Tattoo.

You're welcome.

You're a good man.

See? Miss Willow, please.

Well, she's not anything, huh?

But the lady asked where she could find
a seamstress to fit a costume.

I'd like to leave a message for her. And
make damn sure you get it right.

What is the message?

Who is this?

I think you know, Tom.

No running this time, understand?

I'll be very close to the lady.

Make sure you meet her at the carnival
by midnight, or I'll kill her.

That's the choice.

Her or you.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, park and
field.

I wrote you a letter last month. Why
didn't you answer it? I never received

You never received it? No, besides, I
didn't like some of the things you said

it.

Hey,

I think I've seen your face before.

How odd.

It certainly is.

Say, do you know that in India, the
Mohammedans, they pray in the street?

That's nothing.

In Los Angeles, pedestrians do the same
thing.

Give me a quote from the Bible.

From the Bible.

Judas went out and hanged himself.

Yeah, give me another one.

Go now and do likewise.

We'd better keep moving.

Bay.

You could hear the voices ringing.

They seemed to say, you stole my heart.

Now don't go away.

As we sang love's old sweet song on
Moonlight Bay.

We were sailing along on Moonlight Bay.

We could hear the voices singing.

They seemed to say, you stole my heart.

Now don't go away, as we sang love's old
sweet song.

happened, Charles.

What went wrong?

We did.

What?

Well, you blew it.

I'm beginning to think that I've lost
you all over again.

You've got to get away as fast as you
can. I thought you said we'd always be

safe. No, it's wrong.

We've got to separate.

Now go that way. No! Please, run!

Go on!

I'll meet you at the boathouse tomorrow.

Now run!

Tom?

I'm sorry, Miss White.

There's nothing anyone can do for him
now. He's dead.

I'm always chasing rainbows,

watching clouds drifting by.

Just like all my dreams ending

in the sky.

Some fellas look and find the sunshine.

I always look and find the rain.

Some fellas make a winning sometime.

never even make a gain.

Believe me, I'm

always chasing rain.

at the reception.

I'm sorry. I never learned how to smile
through a flop.

At least they don't throw tomatoes
anymore.

Don't be too hasty, Mr. Parks. Allow me
to introduce Mr. Jeff Logan.

He has a business proposition for parks
and fields.

Hey, he said our names.

You mean us as a team?

Of course.

Gentlemen, I head up a pilot program for
the city of Baltimore.

And I believe we could use your talents.

Hold on just a minute. What's with the
pilot program?

We're a little old for flight training.
Am I right, Will?

They're short on astronauts and listen.

Gentlemen, we realize that the morale of
the elderly is as important as good

health. They need entertainment as much
as anyone.

Maybe more because, well, they have more
time to enjoy it. But not everything

works for them. We gave them rock music
and failed miserably.

They seem to like the tried and true.

You know what I mean?

You mean the old stuff?

Like our material. Listen to the man.
Well, let's call it time -tested.

Solid. Like the audience.

You'd be entertaining at old -age homes,
veterans' hospitals, senior citizen

centers, parks.

You name it. The pay's not astronomical,
but it is a living.

And the benefits are great.

Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.

You actually want fields and parks to
work for the city government?

Very much so.

But if you think for one solitary minute
that a class act like ours is going to

accept a deal like that... Russia will
be right!

Okay, partner! Okay, partner!

We'll kill him. We'll murder him
wherever we go.

You've never lost a cat.

My buddy.

Thomas Parnell played a perilous role in
life.

He lived dangerously, always conscious
that the price of failure could mean his

own death, as indeed it was.

And now, we return his body to the earth
from which we all sprang, and to which

we shall all someday return.

Amen.

Dominus Vibiscum, Dominus Vibiscum,
Domini, Domini, Domini, Domini. It's my

fault that he died.

Oh, no.

Don't blame us.

But why?

The only way they found him was by
following me.

time, Ms. Weller.

Why are we stopping here?

I'm told the proprietor found another
bottle of Cuevas de Campanet.

I thought perhaps you might like a
glass, for old time's sake.

Senores. Senorita. Buenos dias. Do I
understand you found another bottle of

huevas de campanita? Oh, senor, I'm so
sorry. I just sold the last bottle to

gentleman back there.

I just watched them bury you.

You saw an empty casket buried.

But I saw them shoot you.

Mr. Rock gave me this bulletproof vest,
and I wore it underneath my costume.

Then you deliberately...

Led me to think that... What? Well, you
were just using me.

True, Miss Weller.

To fulfill Mr. Parnell's fantasy in the
only way possible.

Your fantasy?

He came here to die.

So you could both have a chance to live.

To stage the assassination and persuade
the killer that he has succeeded, we

needed your honest, sincere,
unsuspecting grief.

The would -be killer left the island
half an hour ago. It's a dirty trick to

play on someone you love.

But it worked.

I hope you forgive me. I do.

I think it's time for Miss Willer's
plan.

Your fantasy is over, Miss Willer.

Are you leaving, Tim?

Not for a long time.

I'm going to have to establish a new
identity, then find another way to make

living. It may take a long time.

Then I'm staying, too.

Are you sure you want to?

Yes.

My fantasy isn't over, Mr. Rourke.

It's only just beginning.

Indeed.

Where's our plane?

It's right over there, that tri -motor.
Oh, why do they call it a tri -motor?

Because if one motor don't work, they
try another one.

Honey, honey. In Walla Walla.

Hey, goodbye.

Goodbye, Mr. Rocker. Thanks for the
fantasy.

Oh, you are most welcome, Mr. Parks. But
remember that your fantasy is now

reality. Hey, Tattoo, why don't you put
on high heels and ask for more money?

Is he the greatest?

Bye, kid. Bye, kid.

Boss, do you want to see my newest
invention?

Do I have a choice?

This is a fly killer.

Money back guarantee.

Two blocks of wood.

How does it work?

You want me to show you how it works?

Look. This is called block A.

And this is called block B.

You understand?

Yes.

First, you've got to catch a fly.

Then you put a fly on block A.

Then you take block B and you smash it
against block A.

May I offer a suggestion, my friend?

Back to the old drawing board.

First, you catch a fly.