Original subtitles

Hurry, Tattoo, hurry. We don't want to be late.

Hurry, hurry, hurry.

For once, I would like to be late for the plan.

Tattoo, our guests have been waiting a long time for the fantasies. We

wouldn't want to cheat them out of a single second.

Miles.

Miles, everyone.

You want our guest? You're welcome.

Ah, Mr. Chuck Hoffman. You should keep your eye on him, Tatooine.

Why? I hope you made this guest pay the full price for a change.

As a matter of fact, he won a contest.

His visit is free.

Free? Then what's so special about him?

Oh, nothing you call special, the two. In fact, Mr. Chuck Hoffman is what you

might call the average working man. It's his fantasy you might find special.

He might be close to one of your own.

One of my own?

Mr. Hoffman wants to spend his weekend here and be... Are you ready?

Irresistible to women.

Irresistible to women?

You can do that, boss?

If it isn't Mr.

Hotel.

Mr. Hotel?

That's what he hopes his friends and business associates call him. Actually,

name is Fred Wade.

For the past 23 years, he's been selling hotel supplies throughout the American

Midwest. He and his wife Joan have a house, three children, and a yellow cat

named Elma.

in a suburb just outside Topeka.

Is Mr. Hotel here to tell something?

Oh, most definitely, Tattoo. The most important product he's ever sold in his

life. And he has it inside that attaché case.

What is it?

What he's geared his whole life for.

What people call the great American dream.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rock, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Welcome, Undine.

Ah, Mr. Hoffman, please come in.

I take it you're ready for your fantasy, huh? That's right, I guess I am.

Oh, but first, I don't know where to mail this letter.

This will be a letter to Stephanie.

I'll take it for you.

How do you know about her?

Oh, Mr. Hoffman, there is very little on Fantasy Island I don't know.

You and Stephanie have been engaged to be married for the last six years.

That's right.

Sit down, please.

Look, I hope you don't feel that I'm cheating on Stephanie.

I really do love her.

At least I think I love her. It's very difficult to tell these days.

I mean, the whole world is in the middle of a sexual revolution.

But Stephanie's idea of a hot time is to watch Lawrence Welk and have popcorn

parties.

You want some excitement in your life.

Well, I'm really not sure.

It just seems to me that I should find out about some things.

Maybe do some things before I'm really ready to marry Stephanie.

What you really mean is that you would like a chance to show your wild oats.

A very admirable fantasy.

Well, maybe it's a pretty dumb one for a guy like me.

I mean, after all, I'm not really like Burt Reynolds.

Oh, Miss... Mr. Hoffman, this is Fantasy Island.

And here, if you wish to be irresistible to women, then irresistible you shall

be.

This is a truly spectacular place, Mr. Roy. Thank you, Mr. Hoffman, thank you.

Tell me, can you really make me irresistible to women like them?

To them and to all women, Mr. Hoffman, if you are really certain that is what

you want.

Are you kidding?

I mean, well, if you really can, I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Very well, then.

Tattoo the chest, please.

There is a strange plant which grows only on this island that the natives

call... The law boot.

Legend has it that whoever wears the juice distilled from its flowers becomes

irresistibly attractive to the opposite sex.

Try some.

That's it, that's it, Mr. Hoffman, sparingly. Believe me, it won't wash

the potency may linger for days.

Are you sure this is going to work for me?

Why not find out?

You mean right now? Good luck, Mr. Hoffman. That too.

But, Mr. Rourke, I... If you need any help, keep me in mind.

I needed that.

Were you looking at me?

Me? Oh, no, no, no. Of course not.

Well, why not?

Why not what?

Well, why weren't you looking at me?

I was looking at you.

You were?

From the moment you walked over.

Well, can I get you anything?

No, thank you.

You're sure?

That cologne you're wearing is driving me crazy. What's it called?

My cologne?

Well, the natives have their own name for it, but I'm going to call it...

Terrific.

Joan, I'm telling you, that... That $6 ,000 we spent to come here to Fantasy

Island is the best investment we ever made.

Yes, dear.

What?

I said yes, dear, if we get to meet Mr. Hayden.

Well, of course we're going to get to meet Mr.

Hayden. I mean, that was our fantasy, wasn't it?

To meet the owner of the Hayden chain of hotels?

I mean, why else would Rourke bring us all the way down here?

And then insist on meeting it tonight at the casino if he wasn't ready to

deliver it.

Oh.

Joan, can you fix this thing?

It's just that you've been trying to get to him for such a long time, and now,

just like that, Mr. Rourke's got it all set.

Oh, but believe me, honey, once Mr. Hayden sees those pictures, there's no

he can turn us down.

any sign of mr hayden yet no not yet but i'm telling you honey this place is the

regular who's who with the dow joe well they'd have to be just to be able to

play in this casino the attendant in the washroom told me that the minimum bet

on these tables is five thousand dollars

this way if you will mr hayden

How many times must I tell you that you shouldn't flirt with our guest?

It's only fair, boss.

Everybody else has their fantasy around here. Why not me?

Have they found Mrs. Wade all right yet?

Yes, they're at the bar.

They've been here a half an hour.

Try to keep out of trouble while I'm gone, will you?

Mr. and Mrs. Wade, am I interrupting?

Oh, no, not at all.

I'm just a little anxious to get going.

When do I get to meet Mr. Hayden? As a matter of fact, he's waiting for you

There? At the back rat table?

He's gambling.

No, no, nobody likes to be interrupted when they're relaxing.

I've been a salesman for too long not to know that.

Maybe I'd better just try to...

Get to him at some other place that's a little more private.

Mr. Wade, I'm afraid you're operating under a misconception.

Your fantasy was to spend a few minutes in the company of Mr. Otis Hayden. Now,

the circumstances for such a meeting were not prescribed.

I'm afraid if you're going to meet Mr. Hayden, it will have to be on his terms.

You mean there's no other way?

Tomorrow morning, Mr. Hayden has the full schedule of business meetings

his flight leaves at noon.

So I'm afraid if you're going to fulfill your fantasy, Mr. Wade, it's now or

never.

I don't have the kind of money to go out there on the floor and make $5 ,000

bet. Oh, but you do, Mr. Wade. You do.

That is, if you really want to meet Mr. Hayden.

Tattoo? Tattoo, please.

What is the line of credit we've established for the Wade's?

Equity in house, approximately $29 ,000.

Value of two cars owned, approximately $6 ,300.

Savings, bonds, and stocks, another $5 ,000 to $6 ,000.

Line of credit established, $40 ,000.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

All or part of that $40 ,000 is available for you to play with, Mr.

You're asking me to risk everything I have in the world.

Only if you believe.

Only if you believe enough in that dream you carry around with you.

Excuse me.

Yes, boss?

Tattoo.

How many times do I have to tell you that this is Mr.

Hoffman's fantasy?

Well, Mr. Hoffman is not here.

So I thought that someone should warm up all these beautiful girls.

Your sense of self -sacrifice is admirable, but I'm afraid it's time to

Come on, Chucky, don't be shy.

Move with the music.

But I've never learned to dance too good.

Hey, you're Mr. Terrific, remember?

Come on.

Dance with me.

Well, I guess I can try.

Watch it. I'm terribly sorry. Really, I'm very, very sorry.

Excuse me, miss.

That jerk.

Can you believe a church like that in a sunny place like this?

Can you believe it?

Cindy?

Hey, Cindy.

Hello?

I'm girl.

And I think I'm in love.

Wait your turn, Pearl. I found him first. All right, girls, now don't

I'll get around each one of you.

Watch it, man.

Sorry, folks.

That's okay, sugar.

Boy, wow.

Out of sight.

What's he got? Will you tell me, please, what he got?

Our girl.

Eat your heart out.

I'm not sure I really understand how this game works. Oh, it's really

quite pimply the way. Here, watch for a moment.

All bets down, please.

The bank and one player are each dealt two cards.

from the box, which is called the shoe.

The hand totaling nine, or closest to it, determines the winner between the

and the player.

Cards, ladies and gentlemen?

What about those two nine things?

Does that mean that the player gets double?

No, no, Mr. Wade. You see, you must add the two cards together.

It's the last digits of the total that determines the value of the hand.

You see, the total of her cards is 18.

So that means she'd have an eight. An eight.

Now, all picture cards count as ten.

All of the cards count as face value.

But then a queen and a six would make the king. That means you'd have to pick.

Precisely. Oh, that seems simple enough.

Are you ready, then? Dealer has seven. Pay eight and nine.

Does anyone have eight or nine?

The bank wins.

Chips for Mr. Wade, please.

Thank you.

Eight chips, each worth $5 ,000.

Yes. Excuse me, Mr. Hayden.

This is Mr. Fred Wade, the gentleman I was telling you about earlier. Oh, yes,

yes. Sit down, Wade. Sit down. Good to see you.

Sit down.

Place all bets.

Good evening, sir.

Will you be playing?

I understand we're in the same business.

Oh, yes, yes.

I've been in the hotel business for 23 years now, and it certainly is an honor

to meet you.

I've been trying for almost a year.

Cards, ladies and gentlemen.

Mr. Wade, do you wish an extra card, sir?

Yeah.

Quite a place they have here at Fantasy Island, eh?

Oh, yes, sir.

Bank has six.

Eight, seven, eight, and nine.

Sorry, Mr. Wade.

Better luck next time.

Sure does go fast, doesn't it? Oh, yes.

That's what I like about it.

Place your bets, please.

card, Mr. Wave?

No.

Rourke tells me that you might have something of interest for me.

Well, I have this place in Mexico.

Bank has eight. Pay nine only.

Mexico. Place your bets, please. How big a hotel do you have down there?

Oh, well, I don't have a hotel. I'm hoping to build one.

No one wishes cards?

Bank has seven.

Pay eight and nine.

That's six.

I'm sorry, Mr. Wade.

Place all bets, please.

Where are your other hotels?

Oh, you see, I don't have any.

I'm afraid you misunderstood.

You see, I'm a salesman. I sell hotel supplies.

Well, I've been doing that for over 23 years now.

You can check the records.

Probably nobody knows more about hotels than me.

In fact, some of my best friends call me Mr. Hotel.

Cards, ladies and gentlemen? Mr. Wade?

No. Well, what do you want from me, Wade?

To look at my plans.

Yeah, I have an option on a property there called Green Parrot Bay. And if I

could just show you the pictures, wow, there's probably not a more exciting

place in the whole world.

And if I look at your presentation, and what?

Well, then I was hoping that we could build it.

I mean that you could build it, and I could run it, that we could become

partners, like I said.

Yes, I know.

They call you Mr. Hotel.

Thank you. Thank you.

Good afternoon.

Excuse me.

My wife is here, and they're going to have dinner.

What about my plan?

I'll be having breakfast tomorrow morning at 8 o 'clock in the dining

Now, if you send the plans to my room tonight, I'll try to look at them, and

we'll discuss them in the morning.

Looks like I made enough to pay for dinner.

Check me out, please.

How'd you do?

Oh, fine.

Good evening.

Good evening.

The bank has nine.

The bank wins.

Place your bets.

Good morning, honored sir.

I'm LeLani, your maid.

Oh, good morning.

Gee,

you'll have to excuse the mess around here. You see, we had a little party

last night, and I guess things got a little wild.

Well, you know the old saying, if you got it, use it.

You got drink for Lalani too, mister?

Oh, sure.

Have a little soda.

It's lucky to you, Mr. Hunt.

Oh, thanks.

But no thanks.

Look, Lalani, you come and clean later.

Okay? Yes, wonderful idea. You bet.

But why work when we can have so much fun?

What do you think?

Lalani make you very happy. Happy?

Well, Leilani, I'm really rather tired.

Leilani, prep you up.

Leilani, prep you up in a very big hurry.

Don't go.

Oh, don't you run away from me, Leilani.

I catch you. I catch you. I catch you.

I catch you.

Let me make you very happy.

Wish me luck, honey.

Oh, you don't need luck. You're Mr. Hotel.

Well, Mr. Way, you look pleased with yourself this morning.

I should be, Mr. Roark. I didn't get a chance to tell you last night. I guess I

was too excited, but it was all really worth it. Then your fantasy was

fulfilled, huh?

Oh, it sure was.

You were so right.

I mean, for $30 ,000, I got to meet Mr.

Hayden on his own turf.

And he felt comfortable with me.

I mean, I wasn't just some two -bit salesman hustling a pitch.

I was right there with him, slugging it out on the old back rat table.

It's nice that you are satisfied.

I sure am, Tattoo.

As a matter of fact, I'm on my way to the dining room to meet with him right

now.

Now? Yeah.

With Mr. Hayden?

Did you have an appointment with him?

Oh, yeah.

He told me to meet him at 8 o 'clock for breakfast, and then we'd go over the

plans.

Something wrong?

Mr. Hayden left on the plane an hour ago.

Oh, no.

No, he...

Couldn't have. He left the package for you at the men's house.

I lost $30 ,000 at your tables last night.

He promised to look at my plans this morning.

Mr. Wade, if there is some mistake or disappointment, I am awfully sorry.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Oh, hi, Pearl.

How are you doing?

Oh, just walking around.

I heard you and Dewey talking to her. I thought after last night you'd give me

all your attention. Don't worry about them, honey.

Cindy's here.

Well, Cindy can just get her little scalp off. He's my man.

Hi, Terry.

Hi. Troy!

Hey!

Thank you for having me. Okay, well, then stay away from my man.

Your man?

turkey what's with you and our chicks oh well i just having a little fling you

know i mean man to man they kind of dig me you dig you dig this pie face

we don't like outsiders moving in on our girl he gets real mean when that

happens you understand yeah punk now listen this is a free country and if

girls like me better that's their business wrong it's our business too

Maybe he needs to be taught a little lesson. Yeah, I think so.

Just a minute, fellas. I mean, just one little minute.

Bye.

We'll catch him later.

Chuckie,

wait for me.

It's later.

Are we alone?

Is it safe?

Ah, Mr. Hoffman, how good to see you. I've been looking for you everywhere.

Something wrong? Wrong.

Every woman on this island is out for me.

Pretty ones.

Fat ones with gold teeth, little ones, skinny ones. Being irresistible to women

was your fantasy, Mr. Hoffman, wasn't it?

Yeah, but it's killing me.

What a way to die.

Hey, there he is. Oh, they're coming.

Please, Mr. Roy, you've got to help me out of this. Well, I'll see what I can

do, Mr. Hoffman, but I'm afraid I did warn you, didn't I, that the love root

potency wears off very slowly.

Please, you've got to help me out of this.

Fred, I've been looking everywhere for you.

Oh, Mr. Roark told me what happened.

What are you doing?

Just throwing away a dream, that's all.

We don't have to give up hope now.

What hope?

Our option on Green Parrot Bay runs out tomorrow.

Well, you know that.

Where are people like us going to get... $50 ,000 to renew it.

Maybe nowhere.

I'm such a fool.

Come on, now, don't say that.

Joan, I lost $30 ,000.

Our equity in the house.

Children's college educations.

I might just as well have flushed it down the toilet. I was a fool and a

Don't you ever say that. I won't listen to you.

You're my husband and the father of my children and the greatest man I've ever

known. Or ever want to know.

What if we're down and almost broke? We've been there before.

And I want to tell you something.

I'm not worried because we'll be just fine.

I know you and I know what you're capable of.

And we'll be just fine.

You know, for someone in our financial straits...

You sure are a hell of an optimist, lady.

Well, why shouldn't I be?

I'm married to Mr. Hotel.

And he always finds some way to bounce back.

Maybe we can bounce back.

Thank you a million times.

Oh, please, please, Miss Smith. You have thanked me quite enough.

But appearing in Swan Lake with the Bolshey Ballet, it's a fantasy I never

dreamed could be fulfilled.

Oh, it was really nothing.

Nothing, he says. And me, Carlotta Smith, the head swan.

Come, my darling. We must rehearse together.

Just the two of us.

She is really quite graceful, that too.

No, really.

I think I'll find Mr. Hoffman.

Well, please invite him in, the two.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Oh, it's been a nightmare.

I tell you, it's a jungle out there.

Did you fix things?

Am I safe?

Yes, Mr. Hoffman, I fixed things. It wasn't easy.

The power of the love route is great.

But yes, yes, I've been able to nullify its effect on almost all women.

Almost all?

There is one.

One? Who?

I don't want anything to do with any of the women I've met on this island.

They don't care anything about me as a person.

All they're interested in is my body.

Please, Mr. Hoffman, please. There are some forces beyond my control, even on

Fantasy Island.

And one young lady's interest in you will simply not go away.

Perhaps you should meet her.

Tattoo? Jack?

Steph?

Stephanie Marie?

It's you.

Mr. Royke, this is my fiancée, Stephanie.

Yes, I know.

Oh.

Chuck, look at you.

You probably haven't had a decent meal in days.

Oh, look how tired you look.

I've been fishing.

Oh. Hard work fishing.

Oh, Steph.

I'm so glad to see you.

You don't know how much I missed you.

I didn't know it until just now.

Steph, how did you get all the way out here?

Oh, uh, Mr. Rourke. He sent for me two days ago.

He said he thought you might need me.

And you came here just like that?

Of course I did.

Chuck, I'll always come when you need me.

You're the one who kept talking about bouncing back.

Now keep your fingers crossed.

I'm going to play the whole 10 ,000 to one.

No, no.

Extra card, anyone?

No?

Bank has six. Pay seven, eight, and nine.

Mr. Wade wins $20 ,000. Fred, you did it.

You won back the $40 ,000. I know.

I know.

That isn't so bad.

Ladies and gentlemen, the shoe is ready. Oh, sweetheart.

Place your bets, please.

Fred, what's wrong?

What's wrong is, look, we didn't come here to get even.

We came here because we had dreams.

half of these, about building a hotel.

But that's all over.

Don't you think?

I mean, it doesn't have to be.

When I look, you yourself said that the only thing that was important was you

and me and the kids, that these didn't matter. Well, we've got you and me and

the kids. What we haven't got is our dream.

And I don't want to be the one that...

Kill this family's dream for a lousy $40 ,000.

Do you want to keep on playing?

I know it's a long shot, but I don't think I could ever look my face in the

mirror again if I didn't at least try.

I would want to try for the option money on the land.

All right.

The bank has six.

Pay seven, eight, and nine.

A natural.

A nine. Pay Mr. Wade.

Your luck seems to have changed this evening, Mr. Wade.

Do you wish to play again?

Oh, let... Very good, sir.

Mr. Wade is now playing for $80 ,000.

Ladies and gentlemen, does anyone need an additional card?

No cards.

The bank has seven. Pay eight and nine.

Congratulations, Mr. Wade.

You won back all the money for the house and the option money for the land and

then some.

I know.

It's not enough. No.

I want to go for it all.

I want to get enough to pay for the whole hotel at Green Parrot Bay. Oh,

you're not serious.

Well, why not?

I mean, maybe tonight's my lucky night.

I don't know.

It's crazy, I know, but if I do it, I mean, if we can do it, I won't have to

beholden to the Otis Hadens of this world ever again.

But what if you lose?

Let it ride.

The bank has seven.

Pay eight and nine.

Pay, Mr. Wade, $320 ,000.

You bet, Mr. Wade.

Let it rot.

Play $320 ,000.

Card's coming out.

Good luck, sir.

I think he better hold back enough money for the house and the car.

The bank has an eight.

Mr. Wade, you must have a nine to win.

Nine.

A natural nine.

Let it ride. Let it ride.

You've won an extremely large amount of money, Mr. Wade.

Perhaps you would like to reconsider.

The $640 ,000 ride.

The bank has six.

Sir?

I've got eight.

Pay Mr. Wade $640 ,000.

One more

time.

Sir, there's $1 ,280 ,000 out there.

I know how much money's there.

But, you see, my hotel is going to cost twice that much. Two and a half million

dollars.

Let... Let it ride.

Perhaps, Mr. Wade, you should listen to your wife.

You've already won a great deal of money.

In fact, I congratulate you. You've broken the bank.

But this table is closed for the evening.

No!

Oh, I want to keep playing.

I have to keep playing.

If you insist, on another hand, I'm afraid the only wager I can offer is the

ownership of Fantasy Island itself.

Accepted.

Since I am literally playing for my house...

I'd like to deal this hand, if I may.

My pleasure. Thank you.

Nine.

The house also has nine.

Seven.

Can you beat that, Mr. Rourke?

Zero the house takes another car

Eight

the house wins, excuse me

Mr. Wade.

I feel sorry for him.

Cheer up, the two.

Remember, this is Bank of the Island.

Ah, Mr. Rourke. Mr. Hoffman.

Stephanie and I want to thank you.

We're getting married as soon as we reach the mainland.

Love, honor, and obey for all the years to come.

For all the years.

Who you love is a lot more important than how many.

What is that supposed to mean?

Oh, it's just a little philosophy. You pick it up out here. Uh -huh. Thank you.

Thank you very much. Oh, honey, I forgot my purse.

Oh, I'll get it for you.

Mr. Ward, you didn't tell him that the contest was a phony, that I arranged for

it. Of course not.

You see, the thing is that marriage is very important. I just didn't want him

thinking that he had made a mistake.

for the rest of his life.

I understand.

The $500 fee is in my bag, and I don't want Chuck to see it. Can I send it to

you?

Why don't you keep it? For your honeymoon.

Oh, Mr. Lark. Oh, thank you. You're very welcome. Thank you so much for both our

fantasies. You're very welcome.

I'll have the jeep pick you up at your bungalow to take you to the airplane.

Thank you. Bye -bye. Goodbye.

No contest?

No fee, no nothing.

Oh, well.

And now, Tattoo, if you please.

If you please what?

Not even a little drop?

It wouldn't make any difference, Tattoo. It's only scented water.

But all those women, how did you do it?

You live here. Need I remind you anything is possible on Fantasy Island.

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Wade, you've had a rather hectic stay with us. We have had

that. It's been quite an experience, I can say that.

But, like I tell you, Mr. Rourke, I'm not a man who'll look back. I never have

been. That's a good attitude, Mr. Wade.

Amazing. I'll tell you what's amazing.

What's amazing to me is that your face tells it, Wade.

No, no, no question about it. It came as quite a shock to me. I mean, everything

here at Fantasy Island is so first rate, but...

Well, those face towels of yours, they certainly have seen better days.

Now, I happen to have a line of face towels that I think you might want to

consider for replacement.

I will, Mr. Wayne.

Oh, I will.

Oh, before I forget, I have something for you.

I received a cable from Mr. Otis Hayden this morning. He apologized profusely

for leaving so suddenly yesterday.

It appears there was an emergency he got to attend to.

Here's a check for $47 ,000.

Mr. Hayden asked me to reimburse you for any and all expenses incurred as a

token of his good faith. And in hopes that you still want him as a partner at

Green Parrot Bay.

Then he studied the plans.

Well, I assume so. According to his cable, his private jet will meet the

seaplane when it lands and take you and Mrs. Wade back to the States where you

can iron out the details.

Oh, Fred, it's what we dreamed of all our lives. It's come true.

I know, I know. I can't believe it. I don't believe it.

But you better hurry, Mr. Wade. You're the one to be late for this appointment.

Thank you very much, Wade. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

All right, all right.

I buy the best.