Original subtitles

Miles! Miles, everyone!

Ah, it's going to be a beautiful day.

Who are the guests this time, boss?

Any beautiful women?

That too, how many times do I have to tell you all women are beautiful?

Sometimes you just have to look for it a little harder, that's all.

Miss Ann Dowd, age 25, unmarried.

She works in the office of a trailer company in Akron, Ohio.

As does Maxine Bender, also 25, also unmarried. They've been best friends

high school.

If Robert Redford gets off next, I'll know what their fantasy is.

Tattoo, it so happens that Anne and Maxine's fantasy is much more glamorous

that. In fact, it's a fantasy shared by countless people all over the world.

They want a chance to live in a modern fairy tale.

And like Cinderella, for just a brief time, to be one of the glamorous,

beautiful people of the world.

A jet setter.

Those two glamorous?

This time, boss, I think you've beaten off more than you can chew.

Well, it's reassuring to know I have your unfailing confidence.

You don't have to get mad, boss.

No one can bat a thousand.

Is he here to join the glamorous life, too?

Quite on the contrary, Tattoo. Mr. Udall is a famous magician.

Then he must have a lot of money.

Enough to pay the full price for a fantasy.

Must you always reduce everything to such crass terms?

Yes, Mr. Udall is very successful.

And at a very dangerous profession. Some say he's the most daring and

spectacular escape artist the world has seen since his late father, who was the

original great Dante.

But just once would like to perform his own escape. Something that his father or

Houdini or any other escape artist in history...

Never even conceived.

It's a request he may live to regret.

My dear guest, I am Mr.

Rock, your host. Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Do those men have something to do with the trap you have for me, Mr. Rourke?

very much so, Mr. Udall. You see, they've come for you.

And they look like some sort of prison guards. They are indeed.

They are from Il du Diable.

Il du Diable. You mean Devil's Island.

One of the most notorious, godforsaken prisons in the history of the world.

Yes, but Devil's Island doesn't exist anymore.

Doesn't it?

This is Fantasy Island, Mr. Udall.

And here, anything exists.

If I so wish.

I'm the limit now.

That's enough.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. Take it easy.

I'm sorry, but they're only doing their job. You see, they believe you to be a

convicted murderer, whom I am delivering to them.

Murderer? What are you talking about?

Mrs. Udall, your husband's fantasy was for me to provide him with the ultimate

challenge for escape.

The lagoon lets out to the open sea.

The highland on which the prison is located is 15 miles from our shore.

Oh, I should also tell you that the waters around it are infested with

You can stop your fantasy now, Mr. Udall.

Or never more.

There

is

nothing you can do for him now, Mrs. Udall.

I'll take you back to the main house.

Your fantasy will begin with a change of wardrobe.

Is all this for us to wear this weekend?

I hope you enjoy them. Enjoy them? I'm afraid to touch them.

Oh, Anne, have you ever seen anything more elegant? Look at this one.

Grace Kelly wore one just like that in high society.

Will you come in when you can, please?

I am so happy you're pleased. But if you want to be truly jet -setters...

I think you must first meet Mr. Robert Massoon.

Robert Massoon is here?

Oh, very much so. And he's ready to help you.

Mr.

Massoon, I'd like to meet Ms. Dowd and Ms. Bender.

For us?

But he's the most famous beauty expert in the whole world.

Mr. Massoon, I've read all your books.

Well, Robert, can you have your staff make these two young ladies glamorous

-setters? Well, as far as glamour is concerned, I can do anything.

But in this case, Mr.

Rourke...

done all I can.

Make a good look, Goodall.

That is the last you will ever see of the free world.

Oh,

cheer up, the two. Cheer up. As you say, no one can bat a thousand.

Well, it's fun playing.

Ah, two friends from the plane.

Anne and Maxine.

Those are not the same girls.

Aren't they?

You folks just get pretty girls here by the bunches, don't you?

That's the way I like them.

Miss

Dowd, Miss

Bender, you look just exquisite, both of you.

You really think so?

Oh, don't just judge by me. Look around you, like Count Rudolph over there.

The jury of your peers.

I think the count is looking at me.

The background stories we have discreetly spread about you are that you

heiresses.

Your money came from oil, Miss Dowd.

Miss Bender, your fortune came from shipping.

How exciting. I always did love sailors.

Attention, attention, please.

It's time for a scavenger hunt.

Scavenger? Scavenger hunt?

Yes. I love scavenger hunts. Anyone wishing to participate in the contest,

attention. Enjoy yourself, Miss Dowd. Excuse me.

The grand prize for the scavenger hunt will be the Debussy

necklace and earrings.

But first, everyone must find a partner.

Would you like to be my partner?

Me?

Oh, I'd love to, Tom.

The sun cascades against your face like crying starlight.

You're Ian Comfort Smith, the writer.

And you're beautiful.

May I escort you to the scavenger hunt?

Now, hold on there. Not so fast. The lady already has a partner.

That is, if you want one.

I want one.

Your records say that you have escaped many prisoners.

No one has ever escaped my command.

Believe me, prisoner, you die.

I will watch you more closely than a spider watches a fly.

And if you are so foolish... I

didn't put him there three days ago.

He tried to steal an extra portion of food.

Imagine what I will do to you if you ever dare try to escape.

Amen.

That's it, that's it, just a little closer.

Don't chase the branch, you drop it.

If there are any eggs, don't break them.

I got it, I got it!

Stop it, him!

Are you alright?

Oh, I'm fine.

And look, I still have the bird's nest.

That means with the bicycle tire and the silver spoon we already have, all we

need now is a red ball and a duck to...

to good use already.

You know what's the funny thing about kids?

Whether they're here or in the city or in some Indian reservation in Oklahoma,

they all play the same.

Simple, straightforward, not afraid to laugh.

You sound like you spend a lot of your time watching kids play.

I do.

I used to, anyway.

Before I had to spend all my time taking care of my money, I used to be into

pediatrics. Child behavior, all of that.

You're a doctor?

Used to be. No time anymore.

Say, do you mean nobody's told you about my private casino and racquetball club

that I'm bugging everybody to invest in?

No.

No wonder you're so friendly.

Really, I got a great spot.

Right on the strip in Vegas, but completely private. Nobody but our crowd

shares and membership just $10 ,000 each.

Oh, sounds like fun.

I'll look.

Talk to my lawyers about it.

Well, Doc, what do you say? Should we go down and try and talk them out of their

red bull?

Well, I suppose we could, but seeing as we haven't been able to gather a single

thing on this scavenger hunt, why not set up a perfect record?

Come on.

It's martini time.

Let me get you something.

You must be sick as hell right now.

First day in here, the boat ride, and the stench in this place.

My last cigarette, American.

I was saving it for my birthday, but I've forgotten when that is. I didn't

that from you.

Go ahead. Your first day here, you deserve it.

God knows you deserve something.

Besides that.

Been cuffing too much lately.

Got a light?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Thank you.

How old is this building?

Not old enough that the cement at the base of the window is lucid.

That's what you're thinking.

Yeah.

You, uh, you have a very light touch. It's very good.

Hmm?

My pad and pencil, please.

No hard feelings, I hope. I just like to keep in practice.

By the way, how did you sneak it past the guard in the shower?

Same way I kept this once.

I picked this pocket after I changed into the uniform.

Oh, of course. You put it in this pocket in the first place for safekeeping.

Why, you're either a pickpocket or a magician.

No, no, no.

You're the pickpocket.

I'm the magician.

You're second -to -last cigarette, I believe?

No hard feelings.

I like to keep in practice, too.

Doesn't matter.

Oh, it does matter if you know a man named Mr. Rourke.

If my guess is right, you're not a real prisoner here. You're a

magician, or...

An escape artist?

Someone who had the fantasy to make the ultimate escape.

How do you know that?

My dear American, just look at me and see your future.

They used to call me the Great Dauphin.

Great Dauphin?

He died ten years ago.

Yeah, ten years ago is when I asked Mr. Rourke.

to provide me with my ultimate escape.

Well, ladies, I hope you're enjoying yourselves.

Enjoying ourselves?

It's like a dream come true.

Imagine me having dinner with a count and Anne with the handsomest millionaire

doctor I've ever seen.

I'm so pleased.

Oh, I see you won the prize today.

Yes.

It's real, isn't it?

Oh, indeed it is. It was part of the Debussy collection.

The rest, of course, is to be auctioned off here tomorrow night.

Auction? Oh, yes.

That's always the highlight of our masquerade ball.

We raise a lot of money for charity.

You see, it's tradition that every guest bids on at least one of the items up

for sale.

But, Mr. Rourke, that isn't fair. We can't afford to buy anything.

Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Dowd.

Your fantasy was to spend two days as members of the jet set.

But if we don't bid on anything, they'll know we don't belong.

Oh, I hope not.

I sincerely hope not.

Will you excuse us, please?

Midnight. Probably be right in the middle of the masquerade ball.

I suppose it had to end sometime, but how are we going to tell them?

Midnight.

Just like a couple of Cinderella's, huh?

Oh, Mr. Rourke.

Mr. Rourke.

Oh, I'm glad I caught up with you. Do I look all right? Oh, you look just fine,

Mr. Hartman.

You sure? I don't usually wear clothes like this.

Believe me, you are the picture of elegance.

But you better hurry. You don't want to be late.

No, no, I don't want to be late.

Wish me luck.

What is he so excited about?

Mr. Hartman is having lunch with Charlie's Angels.

Charlie's Angels? Mm -hmm. All three of them?

Well, of course, the two.

Something wrong?

No, but I thought that if you don't need me, I... Yes?

Well, I thought that maybe Mr. Hartman could use a little help with dessert.

Uh -huh.

Do try not to get in the way, will you, Tattoo?

Thank you.

I was beginning to think you'd never show up.

Everybody seems to be having so much fun.

Well, yeah. I mean, it's a bundle of laughs around here.

Well, it's nice to be around folks who not enjoy themselves.

Why, is something wrong?

Um, no, I'm just looking for Maxine. Oh, well, I'm afraid I haven't seen her.

Well, I'm going to be Peter Pan tonight. How about you?

What? For the masquerade. They sent me a pair of green tights and a funny hat,

so I figured out of that old Robin Hood.

I'm sure in your case it's Robin Hood.

Well, if that's true, I'd sure like you to be my maid, Mary.

Oh, uh, I don't know. To tell you the truth, I don't think I'd feel up to

tonight.

It's nothing I've done, I hope.

Oh, no, it isn't that.

Go and get the drink and I... Excuse me, I have to go talk to Maxine.

Hey, eight o 'clock.

Please.

Eight o 'clock.

Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you. Rudy took me out on

yacht. It's just off the island. It's terrific.

Look, I don't mean to get personal, but don't you think you're getting too

friendly with him? We're going home tomorrow. Now's not the time to get

involved. Why not?

Who am I saving myself for?

Smitty in the machine shop?

Or one of those guys on the assembly line?

Maybe Rudy isn't the handsomest guy in the world, but he's really nice.

He likes me, and I like him.

He thinks I'm a hardy girl.

I'm sorry.

I mean, if you really like him.

It's just that I'm trying to figure out what we're going to do tonight when they

start that auction.

I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to let Rudy buy me anything he wants to.

You can't do that.

I'll tell you something, Ann. I've been poor, and now I've had a taste of being

rich. And I like rich.

a whole lot better.

You're very good.

Gonna attempt to escape?

I'm gonna try.

I know a way.

I know, I know.

You look at me and say, I know a way. What am I doing here?

I can say I lost my nerve.

The last time I escaped seven years ago, they brought me back and put me in a

box for three days.

I'm going out alone, Betsy.

Please, please don't.

Don't leave me here.

I'm going out alone.

I have to, Betsy.

Yeah.

I remember when I had to go.

I was young and proud.

I remember.

Having a good time? The truth.

Oh, boss.

How did you know it was me?

Having fun?

Whenever he's not busy trying to sell shares at his racquetball club.

You really like him, don't you?

More than anyone I've ever known.

I'm leaving.

You know, Maxine, I'm really beginning to feel like Cinderella.

I mean, pretty soon the clock's going to strike 12 and the auction will start

and then everything will come apart.

I said I'm leaving.

What? Rudy and I, the tide goes out in an hour and we're taking out his yacht

with it.

You and the count?

He wants to take me back home to meet his mother.

But that's... Crazy, Maxine, he thinks you're an heiress. What's going to

when he finds out you don't have any money? I already told him he doesn't

He just keeps saying I'm a hardy girl and he loves me.

And I think I love him, too.

But you just met him.

I've known him longer than you've known the doc, and look how you feel about

him.

Don't you understand, Ann?

I don't know what to say.

Just wish me luck, and I'll ride as soon as I can.

Bye -bye.

Say, I'm sorry I took so long.

Do you find any members for your club? No, not yet, but they'll come around.

Say, have you thought about it anymore?

I'm afraid I can't. Not right now.

Yeah, I know. All your money's tied up in cash.

No, it's not that.

It's just...

And the auction is about to begin.

Excuse me. I think I'll buy myself a drink.

Roger.

Roger.

Please. I want to explain.

I have to explain.

Ann, leave it alone. I'm sorry.

I mean, I'm just in a bad mood. It's not your fault.

But it is my fault because I'm a liar.

I'd invest in your club. I'd invest in anything for you if I could, but I

I'm a fake, a phony.

I'm not a jet setter. I don't have a lot of money. I don't have any money.

I work in a trailer factory in Akron, Ohio.

A trailer factory?

How disgustingly gauche, darling.

Well, if nothing else, I hope I've given you all a good laugh.

You got the trailer factory to think I talked to her once. You stupid jerk.

Well, waiter, more champagne.

Have some on me.

La vie est le chien.

Mr. Rourke.

Oh, boy.

Am I glad to see you.

I understand there was some excitement around here last night, huh?

A slight miscalculation, as you can see.

I tell you, I'm lucky. If it had been one of my father's water escapes, I

would have made it.

Well, live and learn, as they say.

Perhaps your next attempt will be more successful.

Next attempt?

No, no. No, no. I surrender.

It was a hell of a test, Mr. Rourke. Really.

But, uh, no, you can tell these people I'm ready to go back now. Tell them

I am.

Go back?

Yeah, to Fantasy Island.

You win, Mr. Rourke. I give up.

Mr. Udall, the fantasy I agreed to provide for you was for the ultimate

Agreed.

But that's over.

I give up. Oh, Mr. Udall.

I'm sure your cellmate, Ipsy Dauphin, told you there is no provision for

up.

I'm afraid, just like Ipsy, if you don't escape, you'll spend the rest of your

life here.

No, no, no, you're not going to get away with that. My wife, my wife Kathy, is

back on that island.

Oh, Mr. Udall.

Your wife, Kathy, will be told exactly what Ipsy Dauphin's wife was told ten

years ago, that you died attempting an escape.

It shouldn't be hard to convince her. Oh, speaking of your friend, he did ask

to give you this.

He said something about saving it for Christmas.

He said you being here, you needed more than he would.

Something wrong?

That last night.

Yes?

Nothing. Oh.

Well, if it makes you feel any better, the guard said you almost made it last

night. A few more feet and they would have lost you in the jungle.

Yes.

Do enjoy your smoke, Mr. Udall.

It may be the last one you'll have.

In a long time.

I was hoping I'd find you here.

Went by a place last night, then again this morning.

I wasn't answering.

Yeah, I gathered that.

I guess I made a pretty big jerk of myself last night.

Hell, I made a pretty big jerk of myself the whole weekend.

It wasn't you.

There you go again.

Disagree with me before you know old facts.

I told you.

I'm not who I said I was. I don't have any money.

Honey, you had company and didn't know it.

What? Me.

I live in a... A battered -up old trailer that might have been made by the

company you work for.

But what about all that money you were raising for the Las Vegas Racquet Club?

I'm afraid that was a lie, too.

Is there anything about you that's true?

Those kids I told you about on the Indian reservation?

They're true.

The fact that I'm a doctor, that's true, too.

You see, my fantasy was to raise $30 ,000 or $40 ,000, and I figured the best

way to do it was to pitch a lot of wealthy people to invest in something

And it was all a con.

A dream.

Fantasy.

A con. I guess maybe it was all a dream.

What were you going to do with all the money?

Build a clinic for my kids.

I mean, it wouldn't have been no ten -story job, maybe just one -story adobe

with proper equipment.

You see, right now, the nearest decent clinic is 40 miles away, and hell, those

people, they spend 10 ,000 spilling drinks.

I love you, Dr. Sullivan, even if you are a lousy con man.

You know, you'd be a fool to come back with me.

I mean that's an awful small trailer.

Oh, I don't take up a whole lot of space.

Thank you.

You better jump.

Dore, what are you doing here?

We're out of cigarettes.

Come on, let's get out of here.

No, I'm liable to slow you down.

I'll take that chance.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Come on, I already got a rope hung on the wall.

to change the guard. Hey, trust me. I told you I knew a way out.

All right.

This way.

In there.

That's the garbage.

I know, I know. It's taken out on the boat. Every morning I get down.

Five miles out at sea and dumped.

Five miles? What about the sharks?

Hey, don't worry. The boat is a dinghy.

Now, once we're out at sea, we'll grab it and head for Fantasy Island. Let's

Look out.

Okay, you first. Go on.

May take all your garbage out now.

Allez!

We got out just in time. I'm all out of cigarettes.

That's okay. I'm out of matches.

Mr. Rourke, I just want to thank you for everything.

Even though it was not everything you might have expected.

Oh, I got more than I expected or hoped for.

And Dr. Sullivan?

I can't complain.

I'm very happy you're both so pleased.

Oh, before I forget, your friend Maxine left something for you.

The Debussy necklace.

It's worth a great deal of money.

Perhaps not enough to build a ten -story racquetball club, but at least enough

to build a first -rate medical clinic.

And a first -rate clinic it'll be, I promise you.

You better hurry now. Your plane is leaving.

Tell me the truth, boss.

Yes? Besides Contradult, were any of the others real jet -setters?

Does it matter the truth? Remember, this is Fantasy Island.

Well, I hope you enjoyed your visit with us.

I'm not so sure. I came to do a one -man escape that my father never did to

satisfy my ego.

And then just when I had it in my reach, I let it get away from me.

Then perhaps, Mr. Udall, that was the greatest escape of all.

Escape from the need to compete with your father.

And for that, Mr. Rook, I'll be forever grateful.

Looking for someone, Mr. Udall?

Yes, Ipsy. I thought maybe he'd be on the same plane, or at least come say

goodbye.

Yes, well, I'm sure he sends his best wishes to you, but you must remember it

will take Ipsy longer to adjust to the outside world again.

Well, goodbye.

And thank you. Goodbye, Mr. Udall. Have a pleasant trip, Mr. Udall.

Why did you lie to Mr.

Udall about Ipsy, boss?

I did not lie.

Tattoo? Merely preserved an illusion.

Would Mr.

Udall be half so pleased if he knew that Ipsy Dauphin is in reality our master

chef? It'd be nice to have Ipsy back in the kitchen again.

It will indeed, Tattoo. It will indeed.