Original subtitles

Welcome to Hazzard County...

a little corner of the world

where everyone knows everyone else

and people are never too busy to stop and say howdy.

Shoot, some folks even say

this is where the apple pie was invented.

Yep, basically,

everything down here moves a little bit slower.

Unless, of course, your last name is...

Duke.

Man, the General's in good shape!

Come on, Bo, it's happy hour at the Boars Nest,

and we still got two deliveries to make.

Oh, it's all

one big happy hour, Luke.

Besides, we're takin' a shortcut.

Hi, Luke.

I got this one.

You sure that's a good idea, cuz?

It's a great idea. Come on.

Andale, andale!

Hey, Laurie.

You here to make your delivery?

Well, I was hoping to. Luke!

Remember last time.

Don't worry about it, cuz.

It's okay, Bo. Paul ain't here.

See, Bo?

Paul ain't here.

Hi.Hi.

Play hard to get, little buddy.

Listen and learn, General.

And now, side 2 of The Al Unser Jr. Story:

No Questions, Only Unsers, as read by Laurence Fishburne.

"I'm too old for this shit."

That's what I was thinking as I turned into the final lap

running fourth at Talladega.

But then it hit me: life is like a racetrack.

You got to keep going round and round.

That is so true.

Sure, sometimes you crash and burn,

but if you don't make the turn, you ain't never gonna learn.

So I gripped the wheel tighter, checked my gauges,

and made my move.

Make my move.

Give you my move. Make it...

Jesus Christ!

Howdy, Bo. Hey, Mr. Pullman.

I nearly shit myself.

How you doing, sir?

Oh, I'm fine.

You ready for that big Hazzard rally this weekend?

Yeah, I got him all tuned up. Right, General?

How many times you won that thing, anyway?

Four in a row, sir.

Four in a row. Whew!

Man, that's good. Billy Prickett won it

four in a row, and look what he's doing today.

Hey, you been huntin'?

Yes, sir.

Yeah, I been using those new whammy shells.

They scatter less, for when you really want

to blow a hole in something.

Cool. Guns. Yeah.

Are-are you delivering all by yourself today?

Oh, no, I never travel alone, sir.

I like to think I travel with The Man Upstairs.

You know, Jesus?

Oh. You know, I like that attitude.

I'm gonna look around and find a boy like you

to date my daughter Laurie pretty soon.

She's getting curious about boys, you know.

Yeah.

Oh, you're talking about sex, right?

I just want to keep

that sorry cousin of yours away from her.

The way he looks at her galls me,

you know what I mean?

You get back here right now,

you son of a bitch! Get back here!

Bo! Bo!

Why you running, you chicken shit?

Goddamn Duke! You get the hell

off my sister, Luke Duke! Aah!

Jimmy!

Oh, shit!

Damn you, Luke Duke!

Get back in the house! Go, Bo, go!

Oh! Wait!

Come on!

Come on, come on, come on!

I forgot about the brother.

Go!

So, um, happy hour?

You're gonna get us shot someday.

Not today.

Not with you driving the getaway car.

So how was it?

It's never bad.

Yee-haw!

Son of a bitch!

Here, load up with these whammy shells.

They'll blow a hole for an elephant's ass!

Whoo! Look out!

Oh!

Oh, goddamn it!

They're gonna replace that!

What the hell's he usin'? You don't want to know.

Dadgum it, you just assassinated a tree!

Aw, I just put a chip in it.

Don't you worry. They can't touch the General.

Come on, boy!

You missed, Jimmy!

Damn it, can't you shoot straight?

Don't point that thing at me, you chucklehead!

Don't call me a chucklehead! I ain't no chucklehead!

Whoa! Hey, get that gun out of the wheel!

What are you doing?

Hey! What the hell... Goddamn it!

Oh, let's go after them!

Uh, Bo, did you see that sign?

I can read!

This is how you plan on losing them?!

You ain't scared, are ya?

Scared? Hell, no!

I just don't want to hear from Uncle Jesse

when you break his bottles of shine!

I bet you a phone book I don't break a single bottle.

Phone book it is!

Daddy, you get me close,

and I'll put a bullet in this sumbitch.

Goddamn it, Jimmy!

Who says I can't shoot?

Daddy?

Daddy?

Yee-haw!

Bo and Luke Duke...

cousins closer than brothers.

Both big-hearted, strong-willed

and restless as a couple of cats

thrown into a swimmin' hole.

Whoa.

Nice drivin', cuz.

What?

I guess I won the bet, you sumbitch.

Aw, come on!

I didn't break any bottles, so I won the bet.

Oh...

I was just joking about the bet.

Oh, you were joking?

Yeah. You're still getting the phone book, though.

Come on, double or nothing.

Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy.

Which side do you want, right side or left?

Right.

Did I just hear one of your teeth break?

I don't remember the Hazzard phone book being that thick.

This is Atlanta.

The bet was over.

I can't believe that happened.

The bet was over.

What are you doin'? Where you want it?

Aw, man!

Where you want it?

Left.

Ooh!

That was a good one.

Oh!

Right in the ball sack!

God...!

Whew!

Case of dehydration.

Mm!

Ah... ha!

Whoo! That'll put lead in your pencil.

Man, I'm already tired of walking.

You could use a little exercise.

Them jeans of yours

are starting to look tighter than Daisy's.

Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer

I can beat you to the Boars Nest.

That's five miles.

LUKE I'm coming! I'm coming!

Base! Ha-ha!

Whoo!

He came back.

Whoo...

What's Billy Prickett doing here?

Well, it looks like he's here for the race.

Man, those tires alone are worth more

than the General Lee.

Ooh-wee! My, oh, my, look at that.

Billy Prickett's car, huh?

What's new in the world of law enforcement, Enos?

They make you lieutenant yet?

Aw, hell, Luke, you know that'll never happen.

Shoot, maybe one of these days,

you'll wise up and come work for us.

You know, we could use

a man like you in the organization.

Ooh, I don't know.

I don't think it's such a good time

to be in the moonshine business.

Moonshine business?!

We ain't in the moonshinin' business!

Okay, but if someone were in the moonshinin' business,

why would it be a bad time?

Aw, now, Luke,

you know I can't say anything.

Boss Hogg'll tan my hide.

He spanks you?

Hey, Dil, what do you want? We just ordered.

Well, by the looks of this place,

I think I'll take two bottles of Pepto

and a shot of penicillin.

Mother of Mary!

Look away, man.

Trust me: look away. Don't worry about it.

I won't hurt her.

Ain't nobody in this bar

concerned about you hurtin' her.

Mm, mm.

Y'all ready to order?

Hmm...

You better be readin' my name tag, friend.

Oh, I am, I am.

I, uh, I noticed your initials were, uh,

double "D."

Oh, sweet Jesus.

I'll give you one more chance.

You want to order, or you want to sit around

and make stupid jokes all day?

Oh, you ain't gotta get fussy, ma'am.

We're just havin' a good time.

I tell you what, I'll order, though.

We don't want no problems, all right?

Let's see, uh...

Do those legs come over easy?

Oh, my God.

How 'bout the special, sir?

Dil Driscoll!

You stop botherin' that nice girl

and pick on somebody your own size.

Billy Prickett! Hey, it's Billy Prickett!

Good to be back!

Love you, old mule!

Hey!

Why don't you cool off, Dil?

Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.

My, my, my.

Holy hell, Luke!

There he is right there.

That's Billy Prickett.

Should I buy him a drink?

Maybe you should buy him flowers and a box of chocolates.

Give me a Miller.

Yeah. And make it a Lowenbrau.

How you doing?

Hey, Billy Prickett.

Welcome back to Hazzard.

Oh.

See, boys, I told you all the waitresses

in this place was dog-ugly.

Man...

I'm only foolin' with you.

Fellas, this is Bo Duke.

Bo is lookin' to break my Hazzard Rally record.

What is it now, four in a row, Bo?

Yeah, well...

All streaks must come to an end, Bo.

I'm calling this one the drive...

for five.

Well,

I'm looking forward to the race.

Hey, Dil, this here's the boy

who's trying to break my record on Saturday.

Oh, really?

I'm Dil Driscoll, Crew Chief.

Bo-Bo, have a seat. Really?

So, Billy, what's, uh...

what's it like being in the circuit?

Well...

Hey, Billy,

join me for a drink?

Oh, you sweet little thing.

Fellas, I'm awfully thirsty, all of a sudden.

Bo-Bo, may the best man win.

Got it. Another round.

So, uh, Bo, what's the story

on that little pistol over there?

'Cause she gave me a ride earlier!

Well, actually, she is my cousin.

Oh, really?

Hopefully, you're kissin' cousins, right?

Come again?

Son, all I'm really trying to ask you is

if you shuck her corn.

Now there are certain things

you just don't say to a Duke about another Duke.

Whoo!

Oh.

I'll show you corn!

Excuse me a second.

Pick him up! Pick him up!

Can I get in on this? Yeah.

Yeah. Sure!

Oh, buddy.

Whoo!

Here we go.

Oh!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Hey, Billy Prickett!

Careful, Bo-Bo.

Ooh.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh, don't hit him, man.

That's A.J. Foyt!

Really? The Fourth!

Whoa, whoa.

Whoa... whoa...

Whoa!

Whew!

Whoa! Whoa!

Yeah!

Okay, now get him.

Ha!

Ooh!

Oh!

Hey, can I hit this guy?

Kill 'em all!

The ribs are greasy.

The beans are cold.

Whoo!

Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane.

Closest thing to law enforcement in Hazzard County.

Roscoe's been after the Duke boys

since they started walking.

Course, some people say

the boys' first steps landed right

on the sheriff's last nerve.

Dukes.

Just once, you two ought to try leavin'

a place in better shape than it was when you walked in.

I think

your boss can afford

to replace a few broken beer mugs.

I heard there was a little incident earlier,

concerning a certain

crappy orange hot rod down at the Miller farm.

Y'all really upset some of them construction boys.

When I got there, they were not being

very gentle with your

beloved piece of crap.

What'd you do, Roscoe?

I can't say she's going to be in real good racing shape

for the rally this weekend.

You watch yourself, hillbilly boy.

Come on, boys.

My shift's over.

I'll take you over to Cooter's.

Come on!

Jefferson Davis Hogg...

the meanest man in Hazzard County.

He's canny as a fox,

tough as a badger,

and crooked as a hillbilly's smile.

Well, Roscoe.

I see you have redecorated.

Interesting style.

What do you call it?

Well, sir, the Dukes...

The Dukes.

I had a feelin'.

I've got some important things

happening here this weekend.

Yes, sir.

Now, are you gonna take care of the Dukes,

or am I gonna have to make other plans?

I'm on top of it, Boss.

That's what I'm afraid of.

You ready?

Is it bad?

Not good.

Hell, boys, this is worse than the time

you sunk it in the Tipton swamp.

Oh...!

Mostly cosmetic damage,

right, Cooter?

Mostly. Yeah.

It'll be ready for the race

on Saturday, right, Cooter?

Race? Come on, Bo.

I mean, the General doesn't race.

The General... erases the competition.

Who does this?

Make a nice hat, or a, uh, slipper.

You know what?

Just leave the General here with me.

I'll see if I can fix, uh...

Yeah, I'll have it up and runnin' in no time.

Meanwhile, why don't you boys just take my truck?

What if you need to tow somebody?

Well, I've had nine tows in three years,

and y'all been eight of 'em, so...

Hey.

Uh-uh.

Close one.

You've been shell-shocked.

He's a better driver than you are.

Thanks, Cooter.

Yeah.

Chin up.

Oh!

Aw...

Daisy...

Jesse L. Duke.

"Uncle Jesse" to you.

Daisy!

Now Jesse's been two places

in his life: Hazzard County and Korea.

Daisy.

I'm in here.

Far as he's concerned...

Daisy, where are you?

I'm in the shower.

That's one place too many.

Ready or not, here I come.

How's it lookin', good-lookin'?

Well, I fixed the vapor coils, but the boiler's still

slow. Have you

been runnin' this around the clock, Uncle Jesse?

The boys break more bottles than they deliver.

Eight cases this month.

Wonder where in the hell they are anyway?

Make you feel lots better.

Light the son of a bitch.

All right.

I feel good.

All right, y'all, knock off

the grab-assing over there.

What's going on, Uncle Jesse?

Guy come out of an antique shop

carrying a big grandfather's clock.

Bumped into this drunk, fell down,

broke the clock all to pieces.

The guy got up and said,

"Why don't you watch where you're going?"

The drunk says, "Why don't you carry

a wristwatch like everybody else?"

You know what happens

when you give a politician Viagra?

No.

He gets taller.

Here's another one for you.

How many Dukes does it take

to screw up a moonshine delivery?

Oh, yes.

Sorry about that, Uncle Jesse.

We, uh...

Whoa!

Boom shaka-laka!

Aw... Is that Roscoe?

Wonder what that fat sack of shit wants.

Come on.

We can just skip

the "Hi, how are you's," if you don't mind.

I'm here on official police business.

It's right here, Sheriff.

Oh, that's horse shit.

You planted that.

"By the power vested in me

"by the county of Hazzard, Georgia,

"I hereby seize this property

for the crime of producing and distributing moonshine."

Now, Jesse, we can do this

the easy way, or, of course...

there's that other way.

Well, let's try it the other way first.

Now hold on. You want to?

Wait.

The only way I'm leaving this farm's in a wooden box.

Well...

Hi, Dukes.

Hi.

Well, now.

Whoo! Lookie there.

Moonshinin'.

What a shame, what a shame.

It ain't ours, Boss.

Really?

You're out of here.

This land ain't yours

anymore.

You're gonna have to go live somewhere else,

and you ain't never gonna moonshine...

Why, you prick!

Whoa. Whoa, whoa! Watch out.

I got my dog here, and I ain't fed him,

and he's real hungry.

Easy, Jesse.

Not now.

You boys done started a fight you can't win.

Well, you have my sympathy.

Y'all take care now.

Should have busted a cap in his ass.

Hell, yeah.

Easy now, boys.

Thanks for takin' us in, Pauline.

We really appreciate it.

Oh, honey, it is my pleasure.

I left three toes

in Korea for this country,

and this is the thanks I get.

I don't understand how

they could just take your farm. They planted

a still in our barn.

They planted a still?

Now, why would they need

to plant a still?

'Cause they're too damn dumb to find our real one.

You know, I was waiting on old

Bill Miller up at the truck stop last night.

He said

Boss's men seized his land

for some trumped-up charge, too.

Maybe it's got something to do

with all that construction equipment

up at the Miller's place.

Want to go up there and take a second look?

Oh, I don't know,

boys.

Oh, now, Pauline.

Don't worry, Uncle Jesse.

We're going to take care of it.

You know what's gonna happen, don't you?

Those two are gonna get themselves

in trouble, end up in jail,

and I'm gonna have to shake my ass

at somebody to get 'em out.

That's why we love you, honey.

Oh! God!

Well, well, well.

Damn it.

Cooter, what the hell do you think you're doin'?

What's it look like I'm doin'?

I'm building a doomsday machine,

gonna aim it right up your heinie hole.

You stupid enough to think you can fix this?

I'm fixin' to fix it.

Oh, you fixin' to fix it.

Boy, you couldn't fix an election

if your brother was the governor.

What do you want, Roscoe?

This here vehicle... it was used

in the illegal transportation of moonshine.

Boss wants it impounded.

Well, it ain't runnin' right now,

and my tow truck ain't here,

so, unless you're planning

on sticking it up your ass...

Hey!

One way or another, grease monkey,

tomorrow I'm auctioning off this hunk of junk.

So, y'all have a good night now, okay?

Oh. I got two words for you:

soap and water.

That's three words.

Stupid.

Hey, man, this is Cooter.

Hey, Cooter.

Round up the fellas.

I got a job for 'em.

A lot of equipment

parked out there for an abandoned farm.

Yeah.

And that fence went up pretty quick, too, huh?

Let's go ditch the truck.

All right.

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

Ooh!

Well, ain't that cute?

A man taking his pig for a walk.

Come on.

What now?

Lookie here, Bo.

He's got our farm marked

right next to the Millers' and the Robinsons'.

What the hell does he want with all this land?

I don't know.

But I'll tell you what.

If I had some

incriminating information,

I'd be hiding it in that big huge

son of a bitch.

How are we supposed to open that?

I don't know about you,

but I'd sure hate to be that safe right now.

Yeah!

Hope they got e-mail.

Oh, dear.

What the hell?

Come on...

It's stuck on a pole.

I'll check it.

Give it some gas!

Okay.

Hey, just a little more gas.

Okay.

Hey, Bo, hold up.

Okay.

Hey, no, Bo, no!

Okay!

Yeah!

Sorry, cuz.

You'd do the same thing to me.

Oh, man! Busted in Baylor County

Whoa...!

Bo, damn it!

Hold on, little buddy!

Whoo-hoo!

Oh, shit!

Whoa!

Busted

Bo, you son of a...

I said, "No, Bo."

No!

Oh.

I thought you said, "Go, Bo, Go!"

You see how that sounds kind of...

Hey, you know what?

Sheev lives near here.

Maybe he can help us open this thing up, huh?

Yeah...

Okay, we'll go to Sheev's.

Uh, Roscoe?

Uh, this here's Chip.

Um, you might want to call Hogg,

and, uh, tell him, uh, them two fellers, uh...

they made off with his safe, and, um...

and I might need a ride, too.

Uh, Boss, uh...

what kinda mood you in?

Well, uh, it seems that the, uh, Duke boys...

Mm-hmm?

Have stolen your safe.

I am officially upgrading the Dukes...

from fly in my ointment

to thorn in my side.

And if they happen to elevate themselves

to pain in my ass, then I'm going to boil you.

Got it?

Yes, sir.

Now... I want you to find the Dukes

and lock 'em up!

Oh, and bring me my damn safe back.

Yes, sir.

Flash!

Evening, Sheev.

Sheev?

I'm looking for them Duke boys.

You seen 'em?

They was last seen headin' up this road here.

You still got them CIA mind probes

stuck in your head, boy?

Far as I know.

Good.

Keep your little antenna up there.

In case you see the Dukes, you let me know, you hear?

Yeah.

Stinks out here, you know that?

Is he gone, Sheev?

He's gone.

Billy Prickett.

Prickett, Prickett.

It means a lot to me to be invited here,

back to my hometown.

Hi, Billy!

I hope to remind the good people of Hazzard

what it feels like to be proud again.

We love you, Billy!

And I hope to remind the good people of Hazzard

to come out to the rally and cheer their favorites on.

Billy Prickett!

And I'm declaring today Billy Prickett Day!

Good time.

I just hope come Saturday,

I'm not too "Hazzardous" on the roads.

All right, Billy!

Hazzardous on the roads.

This one's for you!

This is Tammy Orender at the parade for WCNU News.

Seen Billy Prickett race in person?

That might be worth putting my pants on for.

Hey, Bo, you racin' on Saturday?

I'm plannin' on it.

What's the prize for second place?

It's gonna be a good race. Tough one.

It's gonna be tough. Good luck.

I still think it's a little weird

he's comin' back here to race.

Life's weird, Luke.

Someday, you're gonna have to accept that.

Well, okay. Let's take a look at that lockbox.

Oh, yeah. Liberty 400.

High-density 9,200-p.s.i. composite material.

Two-inch chrome locking bolts, vertical and horizontal.

And a spring-loaded independent relocking device

with a foreign body.

She is a beauty.

Can you crack it?

I'm-a do more than crack it.

Goddamn it!

Armadillo.

They've been infiltrating my perimeter all summer.

The hell you do with 'em?

I make helmets.

Armadillo helmets can block even the best brain-wave scanners.

Make a pretty good soup bowl, too.

So, okay, I'm gonna go to work on this thing. Uh...

While I do, would you be a dear, Bo,

and go grab me that armadillo?

Thanks.

Aw, man, he looks pissed off.

Come on, y'all!

That was a good one!

All right, man, you can take it off now!

Got a real nice deal on this stuff.

Government-issue. Only expired about

six months ago, so, uh... should have a real nice pop.

Yeah! Cooter's got the General running!

Says he thinks it'll be able to race on Saturday.

Yeah, we got to get itReally?

Out of there tonight, though.

Roscoe wants to impound it.

Watch your ass, fellas.

This is the fastest-burning fuse you got, Sheev?

It's a Chinese fuse.

Hmm.

Might be a wet fuse.

Well, should we check it?

Depends if you like how your face

is configured, pretty boy.

I think you got the wires backwards.

They're supposed to be backwards.

It's a Chinese fuse.

No, I'm saying they're backwards

from how they're supposed to be.

Have you ever been to China?

Have you ever been to China?!

I ate Chinese food once.

Yeah, well, you don't blow up moo shu pork, my friend.

I dated a Korean girl in high school.

That is an entirely different Oriental nation.

Get an education!

You're the one who got the fuse wrong, Sheev!

You know nothing about Chino-Sino-American relations.

Sheev, you're missing the point here.

I got...

Might've used too much.

Hoo! Ooh!

Man, that rattled my sphincter.

Whoo!

What the hell is that?

Drugs?

Don't look like no drugs I ever saw.

What the hell are these numbers?

It's a core sample.

For mining.

They drill a hole, take a sample out,

send it to the lab, see what they got.

Oh, how the hellCore samples of what?

Should I know, Luke? Am I wearing a white coat here?

I cut bait and blow shit up for a living.

Take it to a lab.

Oh... maybe at the university?

Eh, Katie Lynn Johnson's at the university.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

Mmm... man!

I always had a thing for that girl.

Remember how she used to come by the farm all the time

with those tight little outfits?

No, I can't say I remember that.

I thought I had her, too.

Then she pulled a goddamn Kaiser Soze on me, and like that...

whew... she was gone.

You don't remember that?

Well, okay.

Unless you boys need something else blown,

I'm gonna go inside and wash my mongoose.

Okay.

Come on, Luke. Let's get the General.

Look, why don't we have Cooter stash that?

We'll take his truck and head over to the highway...

How would you feel if the General and I

went to Atlanta and left you behind?

Ain't she a Georgia peach?

Damn, Cooter, what'd you do,

make a deal with the devil or something?

Luke! Luke!

Is that a Hemi?

Me and my buddies lose

the Gettysburg reenactment every other Sunday,

so we figured, "Why not let General Lee win one?"

Don't know how we're going to pay you back, Cooter.

Well, um...

Daisy's single...

Not gonna happen.

How about a pair of them shorts?

No.

Okay.

Hey, Bo.

Just win that Hazzard Rally.

That's thanks enough.

And when you get that prize money,

you pay me, 'cause that's how it works.

I love you, Cooter.

Oh, um...

I didn't have time to fix everything.

Right.

Let's get that car.

Get in your cars and get 'em!

Get 'em! Let's go! Now!

Cooter!

All right!

That's so good, man!

Enough.

Man, I'm never gonna get out of this car again.

I'm gonna live in it, I'm gonna eat in it,

and I'm gonna make sweet love to it.

You mean you're gonna make sweet love in it.

Oh, no, I'm gonna have sex with it.

All units, all units.

We're in hot pursuit of them Duke boys

and their piece-of-shit orange car.

Piece of... You son of a bitch.

Hey! Hey!

Get back here!

Boys, you-you out there?

Hey, Cooter.

These fellas ain't gonna be doing much chasin'.

Thanks, man.

Man, I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett.

How 'bout we go to Atlanta first?

All right, cuz.

Oh, look at that.

There's your problem right there.

Yeah, that's a shame.

Let's got to Atlanta.

Luke?

Luke?

I know why

it didn't work out with me and Katie before.

It was just timing.

Life is all about timing, you know?

It's my time now.

I'm gonna win that race on Saturday.

We're gonna get the farm back.

I got my BFF you.

And I'm gonna get

Katie Johnson... you watch.

It's my time.

Oh, what's going on?

Yeah, baby,

Southern by the grace of God!

Yee-haw!

Yee-haw!

Yee-haw!

Well, at least we know they're nice up here.

Hurry up.

You're late for your Klan meeting, asshole.

Klan meeting?

Aw, don't listen to her.

The South'll rise again!

Yee-haw!

Yee-haw, brother!

What the hell's wrong with these people?

Nice roof, redneck.

Join us in the 21st century?

We're gonna make some friends up here, huh?

Oh, excuse me.

Can I help you, ma'am?

Daisy!

Oh, boy.

Enos, what's Boss doing taking all that land?

I don't know. They won't tell me.

So now, you just got to go.

I'm supposed to arrest you if I see you.

Now, get. Come on.

I'm serious.Get... get out of here. Get.

Hey! You Anus?

Ah, now that's Enos, Mr. Prickett.

Oh. Whoopsie.

Sorry about that.

Is Hogg around?

He asked me to come by.

Oh, yeah, he's out back in the garage, Mr. Prickett.

Well, howdy, ma'am.

How are you today?

Yeah, it's just right on

out back out there. I'll show you.

Yep, head out that way.

There you go.

Oh!

There he is.

Hometown hero. Hogg!

How you doing, son?

Well, this is a great place to take a crap,

but I'm ready to head back to Atlanta.

Not before the race.

Don't you worry about that.

I want you down at that finish line.

Sign autographs for the kids.

Yeah, I know the drill.

I know you do,

but I need you there for two hours, son.

Two hours.

Kissin' hands and shakin' babies.

You got that backwards.

It's, uh, shakin' hands and kiss the babies.

Oh, yeah?

Maybe that's why I lost that governor's election in '86.

Hogg, what the hell am I doing here?

Roscoe.

Whoa, what is this?

You off the reservation?

Yeah, it kinda catches me around the eyes, doesn't it?

Look here,

I-I already got sponsors.

What am I supposed to tell Castrol? Yahoo?

Tell 'em it's for charity.

Is it?

Sure. Could be.

Eh, whatever you say.

I'm gonna win that race by a mile.

It don't matter whose face is on my car when I do.

I don't need you to win the race.

I just need you to show up.

Hey, there, Mr. Prickett.

Well, hello, Daisy.

Wow, I was just walking by,

and I saw your car in the garage there.

She's real sexy.

Well, thank you.

She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine.

Yeah, I know.

Why is there a picture

of Boss Hogg on your car, though?

Oh, yeah, well, uh... he was, uh...

I read somewhere that Coca-Cola pays you over $100,000

to put their logo on your door.

You read that, huh?

And in that same article, it mentioned that Budweiser

pays you over $100,000 to put their logo on your trunk.

Look, Daisy, I...

I'm not much of a reader myself...

So, Boss Hogg's face

is sitting on over $200,000 worth of real estate.

Is that what he's paying you?

Oh, no, no, no.

Daisy, this race here is for charity.

Really?

Which one?

Uh...

Anal bifida.

Spinal... bifida.

It's one of the bifidas.

Have I told you that you're as pretty

as a Hazzard County sunset?

Have a good day, Mr. Prickett.

Okay.

A lot of smart people out there.

Look out, Katie.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.Hello. Hello.

Oh, boy.

Hi.

You don't think it's too late

to take them SATs, do ya?

You gotta keep an open mind in college.

Ooh!

This is it, Luke. I can feel it.

Hey, do you know where Katie Johnson is?

Um, I think she's in that room right there.

Thanks. Thank you.

Oh! I got a great opening line for Katie.

What is it?

You'll see.

Katie Johnson?

Oh! She's down the hall.

Cool.

Come on. Down the hall!

Katie Johnson?

She's down the hall.

Do you guys go to school here?

No, but do you have an application?

Come on, now, focus.

Let's hope she's not in here, either.

Katie Johnson?

Holy shit!

You looking for Katie?

What is this place?

Well, why don't you come look in here?

Yeah!

Bye, Bo!

Bye, Bo! Bye, Luke!

I guess she wasn't in there.

We didn't check under the couch.

Luke, Bo!

Katie!

So, he's still doing that?

Did I just faint?

No...

Oh, my God.

I can't believe y'all came.

We just wanted to pay a visit

to the prettiest girl in... Atlanta.

What?

Well, we just wanted to pay a visit

to the prettiest girl in Atlanta.

Oh, that's sweet.

I can't believe what happened to y'all's farm.

Hey, don't worry.

We're gonna get it back.

I love that farm.

I used to have so much fun there.

See?

Boys, this is my roommate, Annette.

Annette, this is Bo and Luke.

Nice to meet you, Bo and Luke.

Hi. Ma'am.

Annette's from Australia.

Oh! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!

You know, that's what they say there.

Okay. So...

what do y'all need in the geology lab?

Well, we think it has something to do

with them taking our farm,

but we don't know what the hell it is.

Well, I don't know that they'll let y'all in,

but we'll take you over there.

We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs.

I think we're gonna wait in here.

Downstairs is fine.

It's all... it's happening, Luke.

It's all happening.

Whoo!

Hey, Bo, I love your car.

She really rumbles.

It's actually a "he."

Right, Katie?

I ain't even speedin'.

You know how fast you were going?

What?

How fast you were going.

I don't know, ten?

Eight.

Isn't the speed limit ten?

Yeah, it is.

You guys... police?

Campus police.

Mother of God.

Oh, wait.

I know it's a shame to hide your beauty like this,

but it's for your own good.

What?

I'm not even going to respond to that.

That's crazy.

I know. I'll miss you, too.

I'll be right back.

All right, let's go. Let's go.

Katie Lynn just seems like a girl

you could settle down with.

Don't you think, Luke?

Yeah.

I don't know, fellas.

I don't think they're gonna let us

just walk in off the street.

You'll think of somethin', Katie.

You always do.

Remember that...

Oh, you're so pretty.

I have an idea.

Can I help you?

You're just the guy we're lookin' for, uh...

Royce. Royce...?

Royce Williams.

Royce Williams!

Maybe you can help us.

We're here today at your school

lookin' for the brightest young geologists

for high-payin' jobs.

Maybe you've been by our booth?

You're from Kamasaka Technologies?

That's right.

I'm Mr. Ichinowa and this is my colleague, uh,

Yoko Takonoshi.

Konichiwa.

Right on.

You said you were Japanese?

We converted.

Hey! So your professor tells us

you're some kind of super genius or something.

Really?

On my last test, I got a C-minus.

Hey, that's good.

That's real good.

You think, uh...?

You know, you just might be Kamasaka Tech material.

You just gotta pass this one little test.

You just tell us what this is right here.

Looks like a core sample.

Man, that's good.

He's good.

Core sample of what?

Of course.

What are you doing?

Relax.

Damn!

Damn!

These are my good Levi's.

Let's not lose focus here, Royce.

Yes, sir, Mr. Takonoshi.

What'd you call me?

Mr. Takonoshi.

Right...

That's my name.

That might be drugs or somethin'.

I think I know what it is.

Are you really

with Kamasaka Technologies?

Damn it, we are high-powered Japanese executives.

We work hard, and we play even harder.

Now tell us what you see there

or we'll go find ourselves another candidate

over at Georgia PolyTech.

It's anthracite.

Coal.

Coal in Hazzard?

What's the street value of this?

This much? Nothing.

A good size mine, could be millions.

Well, can you show us

what a good size mine looks like?

Yeah.

Here's what it used to look like...

and this is the after.

Oh...

Damn...

Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard?

The hell he is.

Uh, Mr. Kamasaka, we have to go.

The plane is leaving.

Congratulations, Royce, you got the job.

How does 24,000 yen a year sound?

Sounds like 40 bucks.

Way to go.

All right, man.

See you in Beijing.

Hey, have you see two guys come through here?

You mean those two Japanese guys?

Get me Atlanta PD.

Damn.

Strip mining?

Why, that slimy bastard.

And here's another little nugget for you.

It turns out that Hogg

has been payin' that kid Prickett

a lot of money to come over here and race Saturday.

He's paying him?

Y'all better get

your little asses back here, as quick as you can, got it?

10-4, Shepherd.

This is Lost Sheep, out.

What is this shit, man? Who is this cracker?

Turns out your boy Prickett

only came back 'cause Hogg paid him

a ass-load of cash.

Don't mean Billy has anything to do

with strip mining.

You've gots to be kidding.

Oh, shit.

Roll 'em up.

Man, what the hell is this, man?

Looks like somebody's lost.

Like a couple of white boys playing black.

Is that what's going on?

Actually, we were at

the geology lab, right,

for some environmental stuff and, uh...

Oh, no, no, no, no, I get it.

They on one of these reality shows

Who Want to Get Their Ass Kicked?

Why don't you two hillbillies

join us up here for a minute?

Actually, we prefer Appalachian Americans.

Man, get out of the car!

Motivate!

Now which one of you two brothers

is Michelangelo?

You know, there's a certain creek

that people sometimes canoe up without a paddle.

You could say that the Duke boys

were on that particular creek right now.

Let's kick their ass, Jerry.

Never thought I'd say this,

but hot damn, it's the cops.

Whoops, there goes the canoe.

Give me your shoelaces.

What?

These guys over there gave me theirs, right?

You see, I'm going to fashion myself a lasso.

When the jailer comes in, I'm gonna rope his keys...

Luke and Bo Duke are home free.

Period, end of story.

I got on cowboy boots, cuz.

I like your style.

You gonna need those shoelaces?

Oh, we gonna have to get out of here.

Hey, Yul Brynner.

We gotta make a phone call.

We gotta call our lawyer.

What the hell we in here for, anyway?

Well...

where should I start?

We know you're going to strip-mine Hazzard.

Do you now?

Well, that's good.

'Cause guess where I'm gonna sink that first drill?

Right down in the middle of your bedroom.

Y'all Dukes still share

a bunk bed, right?

Hey, that's a phat suit there.

What, you some type of pimp?

Zzz... What I want to know is

what does strip- mining got to do

with you payin' Billy Prickett to race tomorrow.

You like magic, Luke?

Sleight of hand?

See, while you're lookin' over here,

something's really happening over here.

See, despite the fact that I now

own your beloved farm,

I can't legally mine it

because the county won't let me.

I need to hold a public hearing,

you know, to give the citizens of Hazzard

a chance... to object.

And let me guess.

You're gonna hold the hearing

during the rally tomorrow.

And if nobody knows about the hearing,

then there's not going to be anyone there to object, right?

There you go.

Sleight of hand.

Sleight of hand.

You gotta grow them fingernails out,

then pop some fingernail polish on them bitches. Oh...

Billy Prickett in on it?

Prickett?

Prickett's just collecting a paycheck.

You know we ain't gonna let you get away with it,

don't you, Hogg? Oh, really?

Well, I tell you what.

Tomorrow, if you happen to be

strolling by the courthouse about noon,

you might want to rush right in there

and voice your objections.

Dadgum it.

I just remembered.

Tomorrow morning you're going to the Georgia work farm.

And I hear they have a really strict policy

on weekend passes.

Yo, B,

you need to pop a feather in that hat, yo.

Then your man-hoes will be having more respect for ya.

I have a hundred dollars right here

for whoever knocks that loud-mouthed son of a bitch out.

Ow!

Thank you.

Now, break some rocks for me, boys.

Take care now, you hear?

Bye-bye.

Don't you know you're not supposed to wear white

after Labor Day?

Hey, Sarge,

if you and me was to have a chase,

you think you could catch me?

Appears to me you caught already, son.

No, I'm serious now.

If I had my car and you was in this one,

you really think you could catch me?

'Cause, Bubba, this car feels kind of slow to me.

She got plenty under the hood. Don't you worry about that.

No balls. No balls.

No balls.

No balls.

No balls! No balls.

You want to see balls?

No balls! No balls!

Slow this car down.

You letting them get your panties all up in a bunch?

You the officer.

Shut the hell up back there!

All right?

Oh, my God,

will you look at that.

Oh, you need a napkin

to eat them drumsticks, boy.

Goddamn it.

Nice driving!

What seems to be the problem, sugar?

I think something bounced up into my undercarriage.

Will you take a look?

Oh, ma'am, I'd be pleased to check your undercarriage.

Thank you.

Listen, the reason why I stopped you

is because your taillight is out.

Stop me? Sir, you hit me.

Well, that's because your taillight is out

and we couldn't see you brake.

So you're going to write me a ticket now?

Yeah.

This is ridiculous.

Is there anything

I can help you out with today, ma'am?

Do cute cops grow on trees around here or what?

Well, I, you know... push-ups.

Kind of you to notice.

Let me see what's going on under your hood here.

Ah!

Oops. Damn, that's hot.

Here.

Maybe this'll help.

Mm...

Whew! Bless you.

No, no, no. My undercarriage.

Your undercarriage?

Yeah.

Let's see.

Looks like you boys had the magic touch.

I was about to seal the deal when you came over.

What?!

She was looking at me the whole time.

Let's get out of here.

Where are the goddamn keys?

Y'all think you can catch me now?

Whoo!

Buckle up, ladies.

This might get exciting.

Hey, that's all right.

We'll be long gone before another cop shows up.

Okay, where's the highway? I don't know.

Don't you have a map?

Turn left up here!

Turn left! Turn left!

Damn it, I said left!

I thought you said your left!

My left is your left.

I'm gonna need these directions faster, all right?

It's okay. I know exactly where we're at.

So, girls, how's the backseat?

I haven't had this much fun since you and I

used to sneak up to the hayloft in your barn.

Oh, come on. You remember those tight little outfits

you used to make me wear.

I didn't know how to break it to you.

You didn't know?

Luke, you said he was okay with it.

Look at the road, Bo.

Bo, look at the road.

Look at the road!

It's supposed to be my time.

Bo!

I think I'm going to chunder.

Is that bad?

That means vomit.

Not in the car!

Bo!

You told me she wasn't

emotionally available for me.

And it was better to lose a lover

than to love a loser.

That's because you would faint every time you saw her.

I don't faint!

Did you call me a loser?!

He was depressed.

I was trying to make him feel better.

Can you just let me out here?

Bo, this is some of the best

driving I ever seen you do.

Ain't that right, girls?

Great driving, Bo.Great driving.

Y'all kiss my ass!

Bo, you've gotta get us out of here.

I can't hear you!

You're being ridiculous, Bo.

Life is ridiculous, Katie.

I really need a plastic bag now.

What's the purpose of this circle?!

How the hell do we get out of here?

Take this right.

I'm not listening to you.

Take a right here.

Oh, hell.

Bo, you're scaring the girls.

Now get back on the road, would ya?

Say you're sorry for stealing Katie.

You guys were never together.

Well, I liked her, and you betrayed that.

I liked her, too.

I liked her first!

Calm down, Bo.

I will calm down when he says he's sorry.

Say you're sorry, damn it.

I ain't sayin' I'm sorry.

Have you made your peace with God yet, Luke?

'Cause you're about to meet your maker.

Just say you're sorry, Luke.

No. We had a good time,

and I'm not gonna apologize for that!

Look out...!

Okay, I'm sorry.

Fine.

I'll take Annette.

That was fun.

Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep, are you out there?

Uncle Jesse, where are you?

There's a hearing over at the courthouse

and we got to get everybody over there, right now.

Sounds like a mighty fine plan,

Lucas.

Only got one wrinkle to it.

You do that, it could be very bad

for Jesse and Pauline's help.

Hogg, you lay one hand on them

and I'm gonna shove a apple in your mouth

and my foot up your ass.

Well, you bring the mint jelly.

We'll make it a party.

You two boys stay out of Hazzard and I mean it this time.

Where do you think they got 'em?

I don't know.

Hogg's never gone this far before.

You ready to go that far?

Cousin, I'm always ready to go that far.

What are we doing here?

This is Derrick Sheevington's place.

Yeah...

Pretty good chance this is gonna get ugly.

So we're gonna drop you girls here.

But this is the guy that got caught

drinkin' out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom.

I know, I know.

But we're gonna need you girls to work with him.

Oh, good God.

Why, Katie Johnson, is that you?

Boy, you filled out real nice.

Yeah, you filled out real nice too, Sheev.

What's going on, Sheev?

Looks like we're gonna need some of those toys.

Leave them two girls here, I'll give you anything you want.

Come on in.

I'll put a stew on.

Hazzard County Police Department.

Enos, this is Boss Hogg.

Me and Roscoe are over at the Duke place.

Anybody wants us, we'll be here.

Well, that's mighty considerate...

Roscoe, I'm gonna on over and join the governor at the rally.

Do not be late going to the courthouse.

Oh, Boss,

home come you told old Enos there where we was at?

You remember the time we tried to fix the rodeo?

Yeah.

It was Enos that told the Dukes about it.

Then we tried to spread

those rumors about the mad cow disease

so my chicken factories

would make a little more profit.

It was Enos that told the Duke boys.

So you want them Duke boys to come out here.

Enos...

where's Boss Hogg and Roscoe?

At your farm.

Thank you, Enos.

That might be a new record.

What?

Okay, thanks, Daisy.

He's at our farm.

Hey, hey, look.

There's Prickett.

So?

He can help us. He don't care

about Hazzard... he's getting paid to be here.

Oh, man,

you're wrong... he's from here.

You out of your goddamn mind?

Hey, Billy.

Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard.

Just hold your horses.

Who's strippin'?

He's playing you, man.

He paid you to come and race...

Save your breath, Bo.

I already know.

You already know?

But this is your hometown.

I hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo,

but this place is a shithole.

If it wasn't a strip mine,

it'd be a strip mall.

Kind of like

one of them outlets

where everything's reduced prices and...

Hell, they don't even have

an Outback Steakhouse down here, am I right?

Right as pie, Billy.

Saddle up, Dil.

Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo.

At least you didn't have to race me today.

'Cause I would have left that little Tonka toy you drive

at the starting stripe.

Tonka.

I'm gonna kill him.

Hey, hey, hey!

Oh, whoa!

What about Uncle Jesse?

You want to ride this stag?

You want to rodeo with this clown?

Uncle Jesse's old, Luke.

He's had a good run.

Besides, if he passes...

God have mercy on his soul...

we get the farm.

Nah, I'm just playing with you, man.

Let's go get him.

They're here.

Cooter, you ready

out there?

You get Roscoe out of there.

Daisy and I will take care of the rest.

What do you say we smoke the varmint out of his hole.

Yee-haw!

Hey, Roscoe, come on out!

You fat son of a bitch!

Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hah!

Cletus, get your butt out there!

Thank you, Roscoe.

Let me know

if you're gonna puke, Luke. Oh, you'll

know first.

Whoo-hoo!

All right, boys.

Y'all come on out of there with your hands up.

Hey, Roscoe!

Hi, Boo-Boo.

If you have to go

to the bathroom, now would be the wrong time.

I didn't know we had so many pigs on the farm.

Ha!

I call this

painting the fence.

I think you missed a spot!

Whoa!

Whoa-hoa!

You gonna get us

out of here?

I'm working on it.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

All right, Jesse, I'm arresting those...

Jesse!

Jesse?

Courthouse.

Attention!

Attention, good people of Hazzard.

Life as we know it is about to end.

As we speak,

dark forces are conspiring to strip-mine our land.

Follow me to the courthouse, and we'll save you!

Yeah, right, Sheev.

Last year, the CIA was brainwashing our cows.

Get a job, man.

Go back to your spaceship!

I'm serious!

Come on!

Bye, Sheev!

Ah! Oh!

Man, it might be good

if you helped out here!

Hell, move over, I'll drive.

No way!

I'm still hopin' to survive this thing!

Whoa!

Goddamn it! Son of a bitch!

I like the way you think, 'cuz.

Yeah, man!

Hold on!

Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep, are you out there?

Go for Lost Sheep?

Free and clear.

Good!

Sheev's at the track making sure

everyone's heading over to the hearing.

Over and out. I'll see you in town.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Flying dart, coming up!

Yeah, I see it!

Hold on!

Whoo!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whee-haw!

Whoo...

hoo!

Whoo, that's a good one!

Let's head to the courthouse!

End of the World to Lost Sheep.

End of the World to Lost Sheep.

Hey, Sheev, Come in, Lost Sheep.

What do you got... everybody headed in to town?

That's a negative.

That's a negative.

No one listened.

They threw hot dogs at us.

Well, did you tell them

about the strip mine?

Of course I did.

Were you wearing a armadillo helmet

when you told 'em about it?

No.

Okay, Lost Sheep out.

No one's heading into town?

If we don't get to that courthouse by noon,

there ain't gonna be no town.

Well, we still got time for Plan B.

I like Plan B.

Plan B.

Plan B!

When you're flying by the seat of your pants,

nothing sounds more official than a Plan B.

Don't worry, cuz.

I'll get 'em to the courthouse.

This emergency hearing is now in session.

Roscoe, where is everybody?

I'm here.

Well, we have until noon.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

boys and girls,

it's my honor today

to introduce my friend

and the friend of everybody

in the greatest state of the United States!

The governor,

James P. Applewhite.

Thank you. Thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

to the 70th Annual

Hazzard Road Rally!

Drivers, start your engines!

Let's have a couple of pina coladas waiting for me

at the, uh, finish line, Dil.

Here comes the heat.

Here we go!

Yee-haw!

Now, it has been confirmed that the orange car

that entered the race

is in fact the same car that tore up Atlanta this morning.

It seems that the orange car fugitives are from right here

in Hazzard County.

State and local authorities are currently trying to subdue

the vehicle known as the "General Lee."

Well, general-ly speaking, I'd say those cops

are in for a pretty tough time.

I'm Rick Shakely.

Back to you, Marty.

This is Boss Hogg.

The Dukes are on the course.

I want all available vehicles

to shut down the road

to the courthouse.

We're gonna need to clear a path.

You got it.

Hey, Dil,

what's the word on those Celine Dion tickets?

Depends if you want to go backstage.

Well... of course I want to go backstage.

Don't be dumb.

Yee-haw!

Whoa!

Damn!

Whoo!

I want you down to the courthouse...

Who moved my car?

Enos! You dipstick, did somebody move my car?!

Aw, hell, let's just sack up and shoot the bastard.

Holy shit!

Luke, where the hell are you?!

Yee-haw!

Whoa!

Yee-haw!

Whoa!

Good God Almighty!

It's my time!

How's the race going?

How's it look like it's going?

Whoo!

Whoo!

Ow!

Why, you dirty son of a bitches.

Hey, go easy on that.

For what I'm gettin' ready to do,

I don't want to remember a lot of it.

Whoa!

What do you call

a farmer with a sheep under each arm?

What?

A playboy!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

You know what you get when you cross a donkey

with an onion? No!

You get a piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye.

Whoo!

Fire in the hole!

You know why divorces

are so expensive? No.

Because they're worth it!

Oh!

Hey, Bo, take it home.

The coast is clear.

Whoo! Whoo!

Here we go again.

Okay.

I'm gonna get those cops to follow me.

When I do, you get in there

and tow those cruisers out of the way.

Can do.

Excuse me, officers.

Um, my car broke down up the street there,

and I was wondering if y'all could help me out.

Well, yes, ma'am.

We'll be happy to.

Oh, you're sweet.

Let's go.

Hold up!

Tough shit, honey.

Go fix your own car!

Ain't no one goin' anywhere.

What the hell are you doin'?

Come on, General!

Yee-haw!

Whoa!

Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival!

Hey, Billy!

Whoo!

You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo!

I've had just about enough of you!

Here they come!

Whoa!

Of course I can see him up on my left!

Of course I can!

Where's he gettin' this from?

Hey, Billy!

He's playin' with me!

Yeah, yeah!

Whoo!

All right!

The General Lee has won the race!

Damn!

I want him tested for steroids!

Whoo!

Well, apparently,

Billy Prickett and the General Lee haven't had

quite enough driving.

They're still going.

Come on, Joe. We're gonna

interview these guys if we have to chase after them

ourselves.

Tito, start the van.

Better luck next time, Hogg.

Let's go, baby.

This is Boss Hogg!

That road better be shut down tighter than a tick's ass!

Uh, 10-4, barricade's in place.

Roscoe, is anyone coming?

What, I ain't good enough for you?

No comment.

Don't write that down.

Don't write that down.

Are they comin'?

Oh, yeah, they're comin'.

We got the whole town headin' to the courthouse.

Daisy, we all clear?

Not exactly.

"Not exactly" could be a problem.

Bo?

I think we're gonna have to shoot the moon.

What the hell are you doin', Cooter?

Sorry, Officer.

I heard a pretty lady needed a tow.

Cooter!

I can't hear you.

Cooter, what the hell are you doing?

Hey, Billy!

You think I was born yesterday, Bo-Bo?

Oh, shit!

Holy shit!

Yee-haw!

Whoa. Whoa! Whoa!

Whew! Luke, I made it,

but I don't know how anybody else will!

It's okay. I got an idea.

Well, I'll see you on the other side.

Whoo-hoo!

Whoa.

Give me your goddamn driver's license.

What license?

What are we waitin' on, Judge?

Let's finish this thing.

Well, I guess

it's that time.

I just can't believe that nobody wants to object.

All those

in favor of the strip mining ordinance?

They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard?

Damn straight.

How can they do that?

Don't worry. We're about to stop 'em.

All those opposed...

What the hell is that?

Who locked that door?

Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.

Your Honor!

I think we got some people

who might like to object to this strip mining issue.

Okay, all those opposed to the strip mining ordinance?

This court

hereby declares

that the strip mining ordinance is dismissed.

Thank you much.

Thank you, Boss.

Hi. How y'all?

Might be a little low on the gas.

Take that.

Were you really gonna strip-mine Hazzard, Mr. Hogg?

I was thinkin' about it.

Step aside, please. Step out.

Excuse me, ma'am.

You get your hands up.

People, move back.

Hands up. Get your hands up.

Okay.

Looks like the party's over.

Damn right it is.

As long as I'm a County Commissioner

for the great state of Georgia,

you two are gonna rot in the penitentiary.

Cuff him.

That ain't right!

Come on... Let him go!

Excuse me, Rick Shakely,

I think the Governor has a statement to make.

Well, hot dog.

I do?

Yes, sir.

You wanted to comment

on how these boys are the heroes for saving Hazzard County.

That's right, Governor! Come on!

Come on, Governor!

Certainly,

certainly.

As you know,

I've always been a great friend to the environment.

And these boys, they're

environmental heroes.

And because they're heroes,

you're gonna pardon them for all

their crimes, huh?

Moreover, as Governor,

I hereby pardon these boys of any and all offenses

against the great state of Georgia.

Go, Dogs!

Governor, I want to thank you

for pardoning me, too, huh?

Pardoning you for what?

For this.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Oh, what the hell.

I pardon him, too.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Here's to Hazzard County's real favorite sons.

The day had been saved, as they say.

Hazzard was put back the way it was,

Boss Hogg had some explaining to do,

and the Dukes got their farm back and celebrated

with a good, old-fashioned pig-picking barbecue.

Hey, Billy.

Daisy, I think you ought

to get up there and sing.

Oh, no. I only sing in the shower.

I'll get the water running.

Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it.

Good idea.

Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse?

We want him to sing a song.

Oh, I think I may know where he is.

Jesse?

Well, hello there.

What are you

doing in there?

I was just smokin' up a little meat for the barbecue.

Mm-hmm.

Course you were. Now, come on.

Everybody wants you to sing a song.

Well, I better get out there then, huh?

Yup.

Oh, it's bright out here.

Sheev?

Afternoon, ma'am.

Governor Applewhite.

Hi. You're a pretty little thing, huh?

Oh, my God.

Hey, let's go get us a chocolate hot dog, huh?

I like the way you think, Gov.

Uh, Governor, Governor?

We're going this way.

Oh, okay.

Picnic.

I just want to say you got my vote, sir.

Oh, thank you. Vote early, vote often.

It feels like old times again.

Yeah, except for now,

we don't got to worry about Bo finding out.

I swear, you're the most beautiful thing

I've ever seen.

Oh, that's sweet.

Yeah.

I would really like to give you a bath later.

Clean you up real nice.

Would you like that?

Mm, I'd like that.

Yeah.

Don't worry about her.

She's crazy.

Hey, there, Laurie.

You forgot to make your delivery this week, Luke Duke.

Go, Bo! Go!

Luke, you man whore!

You get back here, you bastard!

See y'all later.

Okay, this is A Camera marker.

Actually, she's my cousin.

It don't make a difference to me.

Hell, long as she's your sister.

What the... did I just say?

Don't you know you're not supposed

to wear white after Labor Day?

Do I need to mark this thing?

I wonder if Richard Burton ever had to do that.

What the ...?

That's the kiss you guys are having?

What the ...?

I'm a... I'm a total... moron!

Come on!

How these boys are the h-heroes for...

Oh, my Lord.

Every time I look at her titties, she loses it.

MAN I love it, except for the hair in your eyes.

I know. How's my hair?

Okay.

How'd you miss that?

You gonna take your hands off the wheel?

He's showed me his balls!

Okay, okay, we'll do it again.

Okay, okay, keep going.

For your...

Don't tell me.

It rhymes with anus.

Heinous.

For your heinous crimes.

Have you been running this around the clock, Uncle Jesse?

Unc, unc, unc, unc, unc, unc, unc, unc.

Did I say shit or hell that time?

With ass or dick?

I said hell?

Oh! Dang it.

A little help? Okay.

A little help.

Cut it.

Cut!

Hurry. Come on.

Come on, be a bro.

Be a bro! Get it away.

Come on! Get it away! Help!

Move over.

Hey.

There weren't any bananas.

Oh, that's okay.

Where's Bo?

The hell with Bo. It's Boo.

Lunch!

Thank you very much.

Look at me, I'm flying, I'm flying!

Oh, it's so much fun.

I'm okay.

Let's go.

Come on.

Let's go.

Come on, boots!

Yee-haw!