Original subtitles

[Sydney] Just take your time.

You're good.

Oh, yeah.

It's gonna be fine.

It's gonna be fine.

It is, right?

Think so.

"Everything in life is just for a while." [sniffs]

Says who?

Uh, Ph... Philip K. Dick.

[sucks teeth] Well, he's right.

- You know, everything ends eventually. - [sighs]

Yeah, it's the truth.

God!

What the fuck is wrong with me?

God! What the fuck? How's your dad?

That's real shit. I'm being a little fucking asshole.

He's much better.

Thanks. Resting.

Got five days off from work, which he's loving, and also kinda hating.

Good. That's good. Fuck!

Fuck, Sydney. Everything is fucking...

- Hey. - Yeah.

It's okay to be nervous.

Good, 'cause I am.

I get it.

Ain't you nervous?

I mean, not about this, obviously, but...

What are you nervous about?

Tell you later?

- Promise? - Promise.

Oh, God. Hey.

Will you mind holding my cigarette for a second? I think I'm gonna throw up.

No.

- Just for a sec? - No.

- Please. Just ho... - Richie, straight up,

do not throw up on my open-toe shoes.

- Please. Richie, Richie, Richie. - Please. Just quickly.

[retching]

Fuck! I think all this shit is just really fucking me up.

And that's why my pre-service speeches, they're fucked! Suck--

- Fucking shit! - No. Stop.

If I'm just a fucking man. Being a fucking baby.

Richie.

[exhales deeply]

[inhales deeply]

[breathing deeply]

Perfect.

Perfect.

[Sydney] Let's just get through this, yeah?

Thank you for coming with me.

- Let's do this shit. - Fuck yeah.

[Tiffany] Carmy.

- Hey, Tiff. Hi. Hey. Hey. - Hi. Thank you so much for coming.

- [Carmy] Congrats. Yeah, of course. - Oh, my God.

Please. Thank you for... for having me.

- No, I really mean it, though. - Yeah.

I really appreciate you coming.

- Yeah, yeah. Thank you. - You okay?

- Good. Yeah. - Sure?

Sure. Just a little, you know--

- Anxious? - For sure. Very much. Yeah.

- Everybody is. That's the secret. [laughs] - Yeah.

I mean, functions are dysfunctional, right?

- And I don't know 75% of the people here. - Yeah.

I'm just trying to keep it as mellow as possible.

You know. So just hang out.

You can eat if you want. There's a tent in the back.

- There aren't gonna be any speeches. - Okay.

No-no speeches, just a little bit of dancing.

And I've already seen you.

I really appreciate it, so you can cruise whenever you want.

Thank you. You make it easy, so thanks.

- Like-minds, right? - Yeah.

So, all right.

Like, I buy part of a painting, and then it's just, like, in a garage somewhere?

No, no. It's in a highly secure facility with air con.

- But I don't get to keep it? - Why would you keep it?

'Cause I like art?

- "C-cause you like art"? - It's not the point, Pete.

Resy's are good, and, you know, we're even.

So, nothing new to report.

You know, sweetheart, I'm uh... I'd like to take a day off, if that'd be okay.

[sighs] Yeah. Me too. Thank you.

Hey, so, um, what exactly went down with you and Francine?

That bitch knows what the fuck happened.

So Frank's mom is best friends with your mom?

- Yeah. - And you used to work with Frank?

No. He fired me twice.

You guys still must be cool if he invited you

to this wedding and gave a plus one.

Oh, totally.

I mean, his mom invited me.

- What? - His mom invited me.

He didn't invite me.

What the fuck, dude?

What the fuck? You do this shit all the time.

We 'bout to get kicked out this fucking wedding.

What about, um, Double Dragon?

- Whereabouts unknown-- Oh, hi, hon. - Hey, honey.

- Hey. - This...

I don't... I don't even know what to call you anymore.

Oh, I think, uh, "cousin" still is good.

- Yeah. - [Carmy] Yeah.

Yeah, you're my cousin, Carmy.

This is my cousin, Carmy.

- Hey, what's up, man? - Of course, Chef.

Hey, what's going on? Right. Yes.

Sorry. That was... [laughs] ...super lame.

[Carmy] No, no.

Wait. Hold on.

So, I very seriously cannot see the thing that you're asking me to invest in?

Pete, exactly what the fuck don't you understand about this?

I mean, it just seems like the pitch is a little all over the place, but--

You think you're gonna bring home a painting that you only own a piece of?

- [Ted] Yeah, what? - [Neil] What?

[Stevie] I don't bring the paintings home.

Have you worked with these guys before?

[scoffs] Didn't feel like work.

All I need to hear you say is that you're my uncle,

and you got my back, okay?

- Honey. - Yeah.

- Of course, I am your uncle. - Thank you.

And I always have your back.

But this attitude, right here, it's exactly why... why things like this

would give people the shits, okay?

What things? What is shits?

- What are you talking about? - Family fucking things, okay?

Hm...

- [gasps] - Natalie.

What are you doing here?

- Francie fucking Fak. How are you-- - Uncle Jack.

Oh, no. Okay.

- You look gorgeous. - You gotta be fucking kidding me!

See this? She started shitting in ten seconds.

I didn't even start shit yet.

Was it five seconds or ten seconds?

You are out of your goddamn mind.

By the way, I wanted to tell you earlier, when I saw you downstairs.

You look gorgeous, by the way.

- Thank you, buddy. - Yeah, you look like Chelios.

[both chuckle]

- You do. You look like a hockey player. - Thank you very much.

- I appreciate that. - Yeah. I have girlfriend too, by the way.

- Oh, yeah? Do you like her very much? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - That's key, you know.

Yeah. Yeah, I do like her a lot.

I know what the look's about. I don't like it.

- You can apologize whenever. - No.

- No? "No," what? - No. No.

- You are so fucked. Well. Well? - Well? Yeah?

- No. No. - Oh, well. Well.

Well, Francie fucking Fak.

- Well. - Why?

You fucking bitch!

I'm very happy to meet you.

Thank you, man. And-and-and congratulations. I was just saying.

Thank you. Yeah, no. Congrats to you!

- We hear The Bear is, like, amazing. - [Carmy] Oh?

- [Frank] Right? - [Tiffany] Yeah.

Yeah, no. That's... That's very nice.

- Thanks for saying that. - Not that we're allowed. So...

[stammers] What do you mean?

Oh, well, Richie keeps saying that we can't come until it's, like--

Until it's perfect.

Oh.

Yeah, well, he, uh... he cares a lot. So...

He's okay, right?

Yeah. He's good. He's great.

He, um...

Yeah. You'd be proud.

Richie's the best.

He is.

Yeah. Yep.

You good?

[Sydney] Jesus Christ!

Expensive shit.

What does he do?

Uh, tech.

Oh, like AI, I bet.

I don't know. It's something called, um, the f-tap?

The keyless entry app?

Yeah, I guess.

But, like, actually, I don't know if you've,

like, looked into it, but it's pretty fucked up.

Like, they use those in, like, gentrifying buildings and stuff.

Like, it's... Yeah.

And I also like my building.

You know, I have keys. I don't even...

I don't even use that, so...

Is there any reason why this shouldn't bum me out right here?

That seems like a real happy kid.

Hi, Michelle.

Hi.

[chuckles]

[Donna] Yeah.

You look good.

Thanks.

Are you good?

Yeah.

Shit.

Excuse me, gentleman.

Where did you find that hot chocolate?

Stranger.

No.

I'm not a stranger.

Who do you know?

Do you know Frank?

- No. - Exactly.

I'm a stranger. [scoffs]

[Stevie] Are you okay?

Uh...

I just hope everybody's vibing. That's all.

- The vibe's fine. - Yeah?

- The vibe is fine. - The vibe is good.

Yeah.

Good. It's just, uh...

There are a lot of Berzattos here.

Everyone came.

How are you related to them?

Married to... A cousin.

Shelly's on whose side?

Shelly's doesn't enter into it.

It... Do you know how Big Phil had two sets of kids?

Yeah.

But Estelle adopted the second set?

- Right. Okay. - Okay.

So, Michelle is their cousin the way Spooky's their cousin.

- I got it. I got it. - And Spooky is selling what now?

I thought he was fixing motorcycles.

Oh, okay. I thought he was selling them.

- I'm gonna tell you something later. - [giggles]

- It's a surprise. - [giggling] Okay.

I wanna tell you right now.

- Just wait. - Okay.

It's gonna... It's gonna be sweet.

What does this usually end up like?

[all chuckle]

What? What? Oh, no.

No, no, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry.

It's... Here's one way to look at it, it's really fun.

- Okay. Got it. - Genuinely.

- Okay. - It's, um...

H... Claire?

It's a lot of people with very specific

and unique personalities that feel things very strongly.

Feel things deeply, and experience life intensely.

- Yeah. - [Claire] Intensely. Yeah.

- So everything's gonna be just fine? - It is gonna be fine.

You've been to these before, right?

- Every chance I get. Every chance I get. - [Chester] Hey, my guy!

- Dude, we're wearing the same shit. - Ches...

- What the hell are you doing here, man? - Dude, your mom invited me.

Why are you freaking out?

- Congra-- - Mom!

I mean, what?

What other way to... What other way is there to say it?

I think maybe we should've told him, like, the direct truth.

That he's fucked?

I mean, maybe.

There's no warning that can sum up what this is gonna be.

I know, but he's just, like, such a sweet soul.

- So was I. - [Claire] And he--

But you're still here. You, like, want it.

I do.

[Claire] You get a high off of it.

If they didn't bring it, I'd be a little heartbroken.

- Your nails look so good. - [laughs]

- For right now. - They looks so good.

Thank you.

I've never really seen you with these nails this color.

It's my bridal look.

I know. It's very good.

- I'm sorry, I have to go. - Thank you for coming. No.

- I'm so glad you came. - I know. I'm sorry, I have to go.

- When is your flight? - It's in, like, an hour.

Oh, my God. You're an angel for coming at all.

Well, I wouldn't miss it for the world. Except for I'm gonna totally miss it.

I saw you. You're here. That's all that matters.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

So she's really not coming?

Gave her an easy out.

[Michelle] Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

- I'm really sorry. - Thank you.

Do you know where she is?

Boulder.

Doing what in Boulder?

There's a guy in Boulder.

There's a guy in Boulder?

There's some guy in Boulder.

Is she working?

I don't know.

Oh, honey.

I just keep hoping that she's okay.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe it's better like this.

Yes. Yes.

I really... I really actually think yes.

- You do? - I do.

- Really? - I do.

- Because it's, like, this feeling of... - Okay.

- What's the word I'm looking for? - I know. I know.

'Cause it's not exactly dread.

And it's not exactly anxiety.

Yeah. And there's, like, a little bit of hope.

Yeah, with just a dash of disappointment.

Yes! Yes! But it's also... It's this feeling, like...

It's gonna allow me to, like--

- Behave really badly. - Mm-hmm.

To be in a shitty mood because you can blame everything on her.

- Yep. Yeah. - But then, like, that's a lot of excuses.

And you have to be careful with excuses.

- I was gonna say. Yeah. - [Michelle chuckles]

Was the word I was looking for "apprehension"?

- That works. - Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry she's not coming.

Don't do that.

Please don't do that.

Also...

- we still have a double-D to contend with. - Oh, my God.

Let's not forget.

- We are not off the hook. - We got a double-D.

[gasps]

Hello, angel.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

[Tiffany] Oh, what's wrong, baby?

I saw a kid who had a hot chocolate.

[Tiffany, Michelle] What?

I saw a kid who had a hot chocolate.

Well, do you want me to get you a hot chocolate, sweetheart?

- No. - [Tiffany] Yeah?

- [Michelle] Yeah? - Yeah.

Who's this kid who took your hot chocolate?

He wasn't very nice.

You can bring that fucking kid right here,

and I will punch him in the fucking nuts.

- Like, are you serious? - Yes. I am serious. I've always been.

[Sugar] First of all, it wasn't even your house, okay?

Secondly, I have no idea why you're--

What time was it? What time of the day was it?

- ...it was everywhere. - It was raining.

- What did you want me to do? - You're full of shit.

- The bus was gonna leave. - And worse, you were drunk as shit.

And I don't know how to start the car, okay?

There were no cell phones then.

And by the time you got there...

I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna text you really quick and tell you." No!

I couldn't text you at all. I couldn't do a goddamn thing.

Hey, hey, hey, do I... do I... do I have to break this up?

Do I have to break this up and separate you two, ladies?

Ted's got a girlfriend now.

- Yeah. This is Kelly, by the way. - Hey. I'm Kelly.

I was trying to find a better time to introduce her,

- but you guys are kinda crazy. - [chuckles]

- I love the vibe. - [both] That's cute.

[together] Shut up! No. Fuck you!

Okay. Okay, okay. Let's not start this again.

[Ted] Pete's, like, in denial.

Exactly what I was telling you about those two hooking up.

- [Pete] What? I'm not in denial. - [Ted] These two hooked up?

- [Kelly] What? - [Pete] You two did not hook up.

[both] Well...

[chuckling]

[chattering]

...be a fucking loser, huh?

[indistinct chatter]

[Donna] Bear.

Hi.

Mom.

[Donna] Hi, Bear.

How are you?

Wow.

You look grown up.

Oh, yeah. Tiff.

Oh, yeah, yeah. No. And you've met Frank?

Yeah. Oh, so nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- So nice. Happy. - Yeah. Yep.

Yeah, and-and Soph. You know.

- Yeah. What? - The baby.

- The baby. - Yes. So, um... So cute.

- You've seen the baby. - Really cute.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

So many... So many people.

Yeah. A lot of old faces.

- Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.

And-and little Sophie.

- I mean, you're an uncle now. - Huh?

You're an uncle.

Yeah. Yeah.

No, I never thought about it.

Right.

- Yeah. - Wow.

I, uh... I got this, um... The box.

- The pictures you-- You want-- - I was hoping I was gonna see you.

- Yo, Carmy. - [Carmy] Yo.

That dude in the kitchen, you're supposed to help him with the shit.

- They're looking for you. - [Carmy] Huh?

- Hi, Aunt D. Hi. - Hi. Hi.

- These guys, they're waiting for you. - In the kitchen, remember?

- Right. - 'Cause you were gonna help them.

Syd, um, Mom, Donna.

- [Sydney] Hi, Mrs. Berzatto. Oh. - Hi. No, no. DD.

- Yeah. - It's time to go.

- Okay. - They're looking for you.

- We gotta go. - Okay. All right. I'll be back.

Is he okay?

- He's great. - Oh, yeah.

- Really good. - [Donna] Yeah?

- He's good. - He's gonna help out with some stuff.

You're looking great too, Aunt DD. You good?

Yeah.

[Richie] Can I get you something? Little 7-7?

No. No. I'm... I'm... No.

I'm not drinking right now.

I'm trying to be healthier.

[Sydney] Oh, yeah, sure. I get that.

- [laughs] Yeah. - [laughs] No fun.

Um, so you... you work for Carmy?

Um, yeah.

- Yeah, uh... - Well, no.

Sydney works with Carmy.

She's a fucking gangster in the kitchen, DD.

[Donna] You know what? I'm sorry.

[Sydney] No. Don't be sorry. Why? It's fine.

- [Richie] Uh, Frank, this is Sydney. - [Frank] Hey. Hey.

- Sydney, this is Frank. - Uh, hi.

- Nice to meet you. - [Frank] Sydney, very nice to meet you. DD, hi.

I know.

- I'm sorry to interrupt. - [Donna] No, no, no.

'Cause, uh, hey. Can I borrow you for a minute?

- [Frank] Just a minute. - Yeah. Okay.

- [Frank] Sorry to interrupt. - [Donna] No.

- Excuse me. - [Frank] Enjoy. Come on.

Bye.

[Sydney] It's a great day.

And your dress is lovely.

- Real nice. Yeah, of course. - Thank you.

Yeah.

- Can we just... Can I hug you? - Yeah. Sure. Okay.

- You know what... - Yeah, no. Of course.

- I just need a little hug. - Yeah.

What's going on?

[Kyle] Looking good, Rich.

Shut the fuck up, Kyle.

Kyle, slow down on the caipirinhas, okay?

- I need your help. - Help with what?

[footsteps approaching]

Knock, knock.

- Hi. - Hi.

It's actually pretty nice under here, huh?

- It's okay. - Mm-hmm.

What do you think? You wanna hang out with us for a little bit?

- I'm fine. - Okay. Cool.

Oh.

You need anything? Want some snacks?

I'm not hungry. Give me a second.

Okay. All right.

- How long has she been under there? - I don't know.

Like, I scared her.

- How the fuck you do that? - I don't know. I--

- You yell at her or something? - What? No. No. Of course not.

I don't know.

Like, maybe it's just, like, all this wedding shit. You know?

- What does that mean? - No, no, no.

Like, it makes people act goofy.

Am I acting goofy?

See, I don't know. I don't really know you.

I can't tell.

[scoffs]

You know what?

I think it...

I think it might be the dance.

What dance?

It's just, she and I are supposed to do this cute dance.

Like a father-daughter da... step-father-daughter dance thing.

Yeah, see. [stammers] You are acting goofy.

Fuck! I knew it!

- [muffled] I'm acting goofy. - Your... Your face, it's like a...

[both laugh]

Yeah. You gotta put your game face on, G, all right?

- You can't be showing fear like this. - Okay.

But, like, how?

I don't know. You just... You can't be looking like this, all right?

That kid's gonna eat you alive

if she sees you shitting your pants like this, all right?

I'm just nervous, man.

What?

Hey, Bear.

What are you doing here?

Celebrating a wedding.

No. I mean, like, who the fuck invited you?

- Your ma. - Hm.

We're just friends.

- Brother's gone, you move in. - Nope.

[scoffs]

What you got? Can I have?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Let me see. Give it here.

- Yeah. - Damn it.

[Uncle Lee] Right.

- Thanks. - [Carmy] Yeah.

When'd you quit?

- Uh, a couple months ago. - Hm?

You?

I haven't yet.

Are you hiding out in here?

- Yeah. - Hm.

Same.

How's the restaurant going?

I'm not really sure.

I've heard good things.

- Yeah? - Hmm.

I'm glad to hear it.

Last time I saw you was, uh, at the funeral.

What?

Mikey's.

I saw you walk out.

You didn't tell anybody?

[Uncle Lee] Nope.

Nobody.

How come?

Wasn't my place.

[Carmy] No?

No, I figured just... It's your way to process.

Hm...

Process Mikey.

Process whatever.

I wasn't around.

What's that mean?

I think I mean...

that I left...

Um...

I left everybody else to deal with everything.

So, uh, you, uh, didn't deserve to be there? Is that what you're saying?

Yeah. Something like that.

That's stupid.

Okay.

God, you were always such a prick.

And?

And, uh...

I don't know. I just guess...

I'm surprised you were there, that's all.

Well, Mikey and I became pretty good friends.

Well, that's bullshit.

Nope.

When?

When you weren't around.

That's fucking wild.

[Uncle Lee] Maybe.

So, what, you guys would just hang out?

Throw shit at each other?

No.

I'd go over there to see your ma,

and, um, Mikey'd be there and we'd hang out and he'd talk.

He told me everything about you.

You sounded great.

So you guys were suddenly just cool?

I think I was suddenly not trying to be his dad.

And your ma and I, we're old friends, okay?

And she's doing real well too.

Not driving cars through houses?

She's not keeping everything so locked-up.

Tremendous.

Yeah. Can I say something?

You can say whatever you want.

Your ma...

There's a lot of pain in there.

Yeah, no shit.

But she's learning to talk about it before...

Before what?

Before... [scoffs] ...it builds up.

And I'm learning that too, okay?

I've been going to meetings, like, three times a week.

Talking about mistakes, and God and shit.

And the more you do that, the more you realize that people are not so different.

Hm.

- Like who? - Like you.

You and her.

Yeah. You're both real sensitive. You're both real intense.

I'm not sure you know me well enough to say that.

Okay. Okay.

But I think you leaving was the smart thing to do.

And I don't think you should bust your own balls over it.

How come?

'Cause sometimes to break patterns...

you gotta break patterns, man.

And I'm... I'm sure it's not easy.

Yeah.

- I'm glad she's doing better. - Well, she is.

And I would never tell you to go visit her,

- but you sh-- - Yeah.

But... [stammers] It's fine.

It's nice that you and Mikey were cool.

Yeah, it was nice.

It was probably a little late, but...

He would really talk about me?

All the time.

Name one thing.

One thing? One thing?

Just one? Uh...

He told me you wrapped fish in potato once.

Does that make sense?

Yeah.

He told me you made something with ants.

He told me you worked at the best restaurant in the world. Twice.

Yeah. I believe you.

He told me he was proud of you.

Thanks for not telling me to go visit her.

Thanks for the shitty gum.

[party guests cheering]

So, do you like working there?

- [Sydney] Yeah. - Yeah?

[Sydney] Very much, yeah.

Yeah. You know, I worked there once.

- Oh, really? - Mm-hmm.

Well, I mean, not really. But kind of.

No, no, because when my husband bought it, you know, I was there all the time.

- And so I didn't know what else to do. - Yeah.

So, I...

- You got a crash course. - [chuckles] Yeah, major.

- [Sydney laughs] - Major.

I still feel like that. And, like, whoa. [laughs]

Yeah, well, I don't know if you ever stop feeling that.

- No, yeah. No, I know you don't. - Yeah.

Like, it's so loud.

- It's so loud. Yeah. - So loud.

I feel like, "Can people just shut the fuck up?" I mean it.

Yeah.

- No, no, for sure. - Yeah.

But, I-I'll be honest.

Sometimes I like the noise.

Is that crazy? It's a little crazy.

Well, I mean, yeah. We're all a little crazy.

- Sure. - I, um...

You know wha... Do you know what I actually loved...

- What? - ...about it?

I loved seeing the same people everyday.

You know, the people that worked there just felt very...

alive.

I don't know. It's a strange comfort.

No, I get it.

- Maybe it's hindsight. I don't know. - No, I don't think so.

[stutters] I'm there with you.

Yeah.

Um...

So, what, uh, kind of coworker is Carmen?

Well, I mean, he's great.

I believe it.

I mean, like... No, but he's genuinely so, so good, um, at what he does.

I mean, he just...

He's one of the best in the world, like, without a doubt.

Isn't that the damnedest thing?

He works really hard.

And cares.

Like, really cares.

And wants things to be better than they are.

Like, himself included and...

I mean, he's just always working, you know? Like...

Actually this is pretty wild.

I don't even know if he knows this,

but I went to New York a few years ago,

'cause I, like, I wanted to eat his food so badly, you know?

This was before we even knew each other and um...

Hands down the best meal of my life.

I mean, I had to split it on, like, 3 credit cards

'cause it was quite expensive,

but it was really special, you know?

Wow.

Carm's special.

What he does is special.

He definitely, you know, can be hard on himself.

But...

he's good at what he does.

And you guys are very close?

Oh... [stammers] ...I think so.

Yeah, you see, that's exactly what I was talking about.

Isn't that strange?

What do you mean?

Well, what I was saying.

Like, sometimes your work family is closer to you than your family-family.

Oh, well, um...

I mean, sometimes I feel like your work family is, like,

part of your family-family, though. You know, like, it's one big,

I don't know, family-family.

Yeah.

If you're lucky.

- I'm gonna... I'm gonna head out. - Okay.

So, will you cover me?

- Sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. - Okay. Okay.

God bless you.

[Richie] All right.

You gotta get back under there. You gotta try again.

- Okay. - Yeah?

- Like, now? - Yeah.

But just, like, take a breath, all right?

- Yo. Hi... - [Richie] Hey. Hey, Claire Bear.

- How you doing? - [Claire] I'm good.

What's-What's going on?

Oh, we, you know, we got a little situation.

- What's the situation? - I'm destroying a child's life.

Okay. Enough with that already.

Look, I'm nervous. And it's not about this.

It's not... I love Tiff so much, and I know that that's gonna be okay.

But what I've been trying to tell Richie

is that I'm nervous about being a stepdad, man.

And I can't even get her out from under a table, Claire Bear, I--

Why is she under a table?

- She didn't wanna dance. - So don't have her dance.

Well, it's not about the dance. It's--

Well, then, what's-what's it about?

[Frank] It's... I don't know. It's like...

It's... [sighs]

Hey, man, every time she comes home from spending time with you,

all she can do is talk about it,

nonstop.

And I love that, because you're a great dude and you're an amazing father.

And I don't want to get in the way of that because I love you, man.

And I want this to be great, and I don't want it to be strange.

But I just, like...

I want...

I wanna be able to get her out from under the table,

and I want her to, like, like me a little bit, too, okay?

All right. Frank. Frank, listen to me, all right?

Every time I drop her off at your house,

I fucking hug that kid like I'm never gonna see her again, right?

Like I'm gonna get phased out.

And every time you drop her off at my house

or I come and pick her back up, all she can do is talk about Frank.

"Frank" this, "Frank" that.

- No. - Yes. It drives me fucking nuts.

Thanks, man.

- Get back under there. Try again. - Yeah. Okay.

- Yeah. - [Frank] Okay.

Come on.

Okay. All right.

Okay.

Is that true?

Fuck no.

'Cause I was like, "What the fuck?" You're such a good dude.

- Oh, my God. Sorry. Sorry. - No. No. You're okay?

- Yeah, no, I'm fine. - No, no, no, no. It's not happening.

- What's that? - It's not happening.

[Frank] Claire, wanna give it a try?

- [Richie] That's a good idea. - Okay, honored.

[Richie] Hey, babe, you wanna talk to Auntie Claire Bear?

- [Eva] All right. - All right. Wish me luck.

[Frank] All the luck.

[Claire] Hi, Evie.

This will be good.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

Nah.

You're such a good dude, man.

All right. All right, all right, all right.

- Selfie. Selfie, selfie. Come on, smile! - What? What are you--

Why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend?

What?

Why didn't you tell me you have a girlfriend?

Because you're mean to all of my girlfriends.

[both] You've never been nice.

To any of our girlfriends.

- Remember Alison? - Yeah. Why?

- Were you nice to Alison? - I know I wasn't I mean.

She... Yeah, I'm supposed to. That's my job.

- You pick bad girlfriends. - That's your job? "Bad girlfriends"?

- We have amazing girlfriends. - You put my girlfriends in their head.

- Yeah. You scare them. - I know.

It's because I wanna get to know them better.

Okay, but this one's for real. Kelly is the real thing.

- What? - Yes.

- The one out there? - Yes.

Oh, I don't think so.

- Why? What? - No. Yes.

You haven't even talked to her.

[Neil] What are you talking about?

You were staring at her shoes for too long.

I know. 'Cause the shoes were really bad. And it says a lot about a person.

- No one's gonna care. - Do you think Mom would like her?

- No. - What?

- If I don't like it, she wouldn't. - Now you're in my head.

- What are you talking about? - Maybe you should be.

Use your head. It's because... Listen, you get it.

It's because I love you both so much. I love you so much. Okay?

- I know. We love you too. I love you too. - I love you.

Yeah. Get your head in the game, though. Okay?

- Okay. - It is. My head's in the game.

- It's not. It never was. - Can you--

- But it's time now. - Okay.

- Hey. - Hi.

She left.

Thank God.

- Okay. - Was that...

It's...

- It was okay? - Yeah. It was totally fine.

- Yeah? - Really. Yes, yes.

- Good. - Yeah.

Um...

I think it was hard or weird for her too, you know.

- Just everything, everybody. - Yeah. No, I know.

I'm trying to, you know, make some room for that.

- I'm trying to. - Are you?

I'm trying to, yeah.

Okay.

What's up?

She'd liked to see you both.

- Okay. - [Claire] Yeah.

Progress.

- It's something. - [Claire] Something. Can we all go?

- You go first. - [Claire] All right. Let's go.

Was it nice seeing her, or...

I think so. I mean, I'm...

I'm glad she seems okay, you know?

- Yeah. - Um...

And thank you for... for talking to her.

No, it's totally fine. I don't care.

I think she just wanted to know how you were, you know.

- Yeah? - [Stevie] Hey. I'm sorry.

- No, no. Hi. - Sorry.

- Oh, God. I'm sorry. - Oh, shit. Hey.

- Hi, roomie. How are you? - Hi, um...

- Stevie, this is, this is my friend Syd. - Hey.

- Syd, this is cousin Stevie. - I'm Stevie.

- I'm his... Me and Michelle. - Stevie and Michelle--

Married into the family. Sorry.

Stevie and Michelle, they let me stay on their couch

when I was in New York. When I was working in New York.

- Best roommate ever. - Yeah?

- Never saw you. - Right?

3:00 a.m., comes home smelling like a psychopath, but very quiet.

Can I inquire about the psychopath smell?

Uh...

Pledge week at a Sicilian fraternity?

- Oh, okay. - Sweat, death, lemons, garlic.

I think it's the specific, more like restaurant.

- This is restaurant smell? - Like the restaurant smell.

And what was that last ingredient? Oh, the most cigarettes ever.

Yeah. Yeah. I-I actually... I...

- That feels a bit, like, Carmy-specific. - Yeah.

Well...

I, uh... I quit actually. Just recently.

- You quit smoking? - [Sydney] He did.

- Congrats, man. Was it hard? - Thank you. It was, it was hard.

But I, um... I really wanted to say thank you,

to you and Michelle just for having me when you did.

- Dude. Carmy, that was nothing. Come on. - No, it was.

You were busting your ass, totally inspiring us.

- [Carmy] Yeah. - Guy with a passion,

kind of killing himself to commit to it.

- We just had a couch. That was easy. - I know.

I just... I owe you. Forever. I owe you.

Please, you owe us-- No, you owe me.

'Cause I stayed and Michelle left. You owe me a dinner.

- Okay. - Michelle gets nothing.

- I can do that. That's a deal. - Yeah, great.

I saw you met Donna.

Oh.

- Yes. - Donna rules, right?

Uh, y-yeah, it was, you know... it was... it was an experience.

- It was nice. It was fine. It was fine. - Yeah, yeah.

- I think she skedaddled with Lee, right? - She left.

She was with Lee?

- Who's Lee? - [Carmy] Jesus Christ.

Lee is a man I've met nine times, and I don't know who he is.

All right, babe. You see, we're both here.

You wanna say something, Frank?

We're both here, baby.

There's too many people up there, right?

- Yeah. - [Claire] Yeah. Let's just be down here.

- It's so fun to hang out down here. - [Richie] Yeah.

We definitely don't have to dance down here.

- Yeah. - [Claire] Okay?

- Okay. - [Claire] Okay.

Yo!

Yo, Richie, what the fuck are you doing?

- Yo. Fuck you doing down here? - Yo, yo, yo.

- Hey. - Oh, hey, Carm.

Hi, Claire.

- Hey. - Hi, everybody else.

- What's up? - Hey, Uncle Carmy.

Hi, baby. How we doing?

Uncle Carmy, can you sit?

- Oh, honey. I don't... I don't know. - Sit down.

- Oh, okay. - Sit down. I'll make some room.

Yeah. All right. What are we doing?

We're just hanging out down here

because it's like the vibes down here are just so fun.

Yeah, no, it's nice. I like it down here.

- She's nervous. - Oh, okay. Got it, got it.

[Sugar] Bear? Are you fucking hiding? I can hear you.

- [Carmy] Hey, Sug. - [Sugar] You fucking bitch.

- What-- - Hey, hey.

- Uh, Sug. - [Richie] Yo, yo, yo.

Hi, everyone.

- Hey. - Hi, Sugar Bear.

- Hi, honey. - You wanna just come in?

- Come on in. - Okay. What's going on?

We're just hanging out.

Evie is afraid of doing the father...

stepfather-daughter dance, and we're just telling her that

she doesn't have to do it, right, guys?

Yeah, dancing is so stupid.

- Yeah. - You sad about something else, honey?

[Neil] Hey. Francie, where are you going?

Are you seriously hiding from me under a table?

This has nothing to do with you.

- Jesus. Just sit down. - Hi, Auntie Francie.

Hi, honey.

- It's actually really cool down here. - Be quiet.

- [Claire] Okay, guys, guys, guys, guys. - [mouths] Fuck you.

Honey, what are you sad about?

Well, I guess I'm sad about my dog dying.

- Oh, baby. I know. I had a dog too. - Sweetheart.

Hey, Jonathan died, like, three years ago,

and you didn't even really like him.

Right?

What's really going on?

Yeah.

You can tell us.

You scared about something else?

[Neil] I saw them go under here. Hello?

- [Carmy] Hey. - Hey.

- [Neil] Stevie in there? - [Ted] Hey, guys. Ooh. What?

This is fire! Everyone, meet Kel, my girlfriend.

Just sit down. Sit down.

- Full name, Kelly. - Yeah. Okay.

You afraid of something else, baby?

[Ted] Gotta text Marcus we're under the table.

[Claire] I mean, I'm scared all the time.

- [Ted] Stevie in here? - So is Uncle Carmy.

Right, Carm?

Oh, yeah, I get scared.

You get scared, Carmy?

Big-time. I get really scared sometimes, yeah.

Yeah, honey, Carmy is very scared.

Okay. [sighs]

- [Sydney] Hello? - [Richie] Yo, Syd, we're under the table.

- Syd? - [Ted] Yo, Stevie.

- [Sydney] Are you... - [Carmy] Under here.

- ...hiding? - [Carmy] Everybody's here.

- [Ted] What up, Syd? - Hey, Syd. Hey.

Come on in, guys.

- This is interesting. - Stevie. Hey.

- We're talking about what we're afraid of. - Eva, that's Auntie Sydney.

Sydney, Eva.

- Hi. - Hi, Auntie Sydney.

Hi. I'm Francine Fak.

Oh. Hey, hi.

Hi. Hi. Hi, Stevie.

Uh, Syd, Stevie, you guys get scared, right?

- All the time. - Every day.

- [Sydney] Yes. - [Tiffany] Knew you were hiding down here.

What's going on? Oh.

Hi. Hi. Hi, babe.

- [Frank] Hi, baby. - What's going on?

We're just talking to Evie.

Oh, about what?

Talking about being afraid.

[whispers] The dancing?

Okay. Hi, honey.

Hi, how are you?

Why don't we all go around and say what we're afraid of.

[group muttering] Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'll start.

- I'm horrified of bees. - [Tiffany] Mm.

Ooh... What do you think of bees?

- No? Okay. - [Claire] Richie?

Oh, uh, AI. Specifically, the singularity,

but, you know, in general, just artificial intelligence.

- [Claire] Mm-hmm. - Frank?

I'm afraid of heights.

- [Neil] Big one. - Neil?

- I'm afraid of, like, big dogs. - [Tiffany] Ooh.

You never know what they're gonna do, and...

- I don't know. - Yeah.

- Ted? - [Claire] That is scary sometimes.

I'm afraid of enclosed spaces.

Like, I got, like two minutes tops in here.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

So, I gotta... Kel?

Um, I guess, like, the gradual collapse of the planet

and all the infrastructure.

- Okay. That's dark. Okay. - I was gonna say that.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

[Ted] I was gonna say that. Sug?

I'm afraid of best friend's betraying me.

- Francie, you go. - My biggest fear is friends betraying me.

- Oh, is it? - "Oh, is it?" Yeah.

Because, actually, I have a little story for all of you. I want you to hear this.

- [Sugar] No one needs to hear your story. - ...most of all

is that it'll happen to you too. It will happen to you too.

- Yeah. - Leave her out of it.

- Hey. Guys. Guys. Tiff, please? - No. No. No.

I think it's... I think it's Tiff's turn.

- Yes, yes. - Go on.

I am afraid of losing people that I love.

- Stevie? - Do you know what I'm afraid of?

I'm afraid of every disease.

Any one. You can pick it.

- Flu. - Flu.

- Yeah. - I get a shot for the flu.

- Syd? - Um, I'm afraid of...

of failing. I think of messing stuff up. That's scary to me.

- [Stevie] Mm. - [Tiffany] Yeah.

- Yeah. - Carm?

Oh, uh, I am afraid of...

- [Pete] Nat? - [Ted] Pete. Under here.

- Under the table. - Yeah, babe. Right here. Yes. Come on in.

Hi.

- Good morning, guys. - What the fuck?

- Just sit down. - Everybody's here.

- Hey. - [Ted] This is dope.

- Hi, Uncle Pete. - We're saying what we're afraid of.

- Hi, sweetie. - You three say what you're afraid of.

Oh, um... [smacks lips] Capers.

Uh, I'm afraid of spiders, but I also love spiders.

- Mm. - Aw.

I'm afraid of running out of creativity.

[Chester] That's a good one.

Who's next?

- Carm? - [Claire] Yeah, Carm.

Uh, yeah, yeah. Um...

I don't know. What's... What's, like, the opposite of chaos?

It's, uh...

Peace?

Right.

- Math then. I think it would be math. - Yeah.

You're very bad at math.

- Yes. - It'd be math. I'm no good at math.

- Math is also afraid of you. - You're really good at math, aren't you?

- Yeah. - Math.

What about you, Evie?

I'm afraid of...

- dancing. - [all chattering]

- That makes sense. - That makes a lot of sense.

Dancing's terrible.

That makes a lot of sense.

You don't ever have to dance, okay? You don't have to do it.

And I'm... I'm terrified of dancing too, so I get it.

- [Claire] Because dancing is terrifying. - Yes.

- Yeah, it is. - [Tiffany] Exactly.

Yeah, you don't have to do it, baby.

Like, I just wanted to have fun with you. I have fun with you.

If you don't wanna dance, we don't have to dance. Okay?

Okay.

- I love you, sweetie. - Love you too, Waldo.

- You wanna get out of here? - Yeah.

- We can all get outta here. - Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

I gotta get a photo of this, though.

- Yeah. - Cute.

This might never happen again. Come on. Let me get a photo.

- Watch out, watch out, watch out. - Scooch over there.

Scooch right there.

- Ready, guys? Here we go. - Yeah.

- For heaven's sakes, please... - Here we go, guys.

Bears on three.

- [Ted] One, two, Bears. - [all] Bears!

Yeah!

- [laughs] - [Ted] Okay.

- Got it? - Another one.

One more, all right? Here we go.

- [Sugar] I don't have any space. - [laughing, chattering]

[Ted] One, two, three.

- [all] Bears. - God, I look good in this.

Let me see. Do a spinny.

Come on.

You look so perfect.

- [exhales deeply] - You see? That was nothing.

- Thank you, Richie. - I didn't do anything, man.

That was tough.

Yeah, well, you know.

There's a lot of that.

A lot of what?

I don't know. All of this, you know?

Yeah.

- And good luck. - [both chuckle]

- Hey. Got you. Yeah. - Hey, thanks.

- Hey, buddy. Hey, I gotcha. Come on. - Hey.

Claire Bear's so pretty.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Aw, Neil. That's so nice. - What? I didn't say anything.

- What? - I just heard you say it.

No, I-I... I didn't say that.

- I heard you. - I know, but, um...

I said that Claire Bear was here.

Like, "Claire Bear's here."

[guests cheering]

Richard.

Hey, James.

Claire Bear, gorgeous.

Tiffany, looking absolutely beautiful.

I'm telling you, you and that fucking tweaked-out line cook pal of yours,

- you're a pair of fucking idiots. - Yeah.

Idiots.

[sighs] I know.

I gotta say that this Frank character is a pretty fucking nice guy too, right?

- Yeah. Yeah, I know. - Sucks a bit?

[sighs]

Yeah. The most.

You okay?

Yeah. I'm okay.

Natalie?

Yes, Francine?

I...

What?

I think about you a lot.

I bet.

I do miss you.

And I...

really hope that you're happy,

and that...

you have someone who loves you.

I think about you too.

- Do you? - Yeah.

I think about how smart you are.

How hard you work.

[snorts]

How funny you are.

And I just think, "Holy shit.

She's probably doing something great."

[chuckles]

Well, I am.

Yeah?

- Yeah. - Cool.

[Ted] All right. [clears throat] I gotta tell you something.

[sighs] I think I'm gonna tell Kelly I love her.

- What? - Yeah.

- Yeah. - That's amazing.

- Tonight. - Yes.

- Should I? Is that weird? - No.

It's not weird, like, to tell someone you love them

at, like, someone else's wedding for the first time?

Absolutely not. We're in a house of love.

- Today's the day. - Today's the day.

Yes. Do you feel it?

Yeah, I wanna be good. You know?

- You deserve to be good. - She makes me wanna be good. It's crazy.

You ever been to Kyoto, James?

Never have.

- You? - Uh-uh.

William Friedkin, he tells this-- You know who that is?

- 'Course I know who the fuck that is. - Yeah, fucking G.

- He was a fucking G. - Right, so he's in, uh, Japan, right?

Promoting The Exorcist or whatever.

And he decides to visit some famous garden in Kyoto.

And he gets there, no flowers, no trees or nothing.

Just a few rocks and a bunch of combed sand.

And he's looking at it, he's like,

"Maybe these rocks are like planets or countries."

And he's like, "Oh, no. What if they're families? Or people?"

And this garden is showing how spaced out everyone is from everybody else.

How separated they are.

How alone, right?

And the only thing that's connecting 'em or touching 'em is this sand.

And, wow. He's like, really moved. Like, really fucking moved by this.

But I'm, like,

standing here

so relieved, you know.

Fucking really grateful.

Because I... [sighs]

I think I've been looking at this all wrong.

You're not... You're not one of the rocks?

I think I'm the sand, man.

- Okay. - [chuckles]

Come on. Let's smoke.

Lead the way, grasshopper.

Francie.

You wanna maybe try to be friends?

Yeah.

And you won't fuck me over?

- No. I will not fuck you over, Natalie. - Okay, okay.

Thank you. Because you know, if you do fuck me over, I will fucking kill you.

Yeah, well, listen. If you fuck me over then I will kill you.

Okay. Well...

[both laugh]

What were you gonna tell me?

- What? - Earlier.

- What do you mean? - You said you had something to tell me.

- I... - Like, a big deal something.

In-In here? I don't know.

- You said it. - I d... I...

I love you...

Like... Like, a crazy amount.

Like, so much.

I do.

I love you too.

Really?

Big time.

- God. - Golly.

My heart was pumping.

Syd told me about, um, uh, her dad.

- Yeah. Scary. - Yeah.

Really scary.

I'm glad you were there.

Yeah, me too.

I'm really surprised you're here.

- Why? - Shouldn't you be at work?

Yeah. Um, we're closed today. So...

Oh, Sunday.

- Right. - Your favorite.

- That's right. - Mm-hmm.

I really, uh, forced you to participate.

Kind of.

Yeah, I'm participating more.

- That's good, right? - Well, yeah. I should say I'm...

I'm trying to participate more. So...

- Yeah. An important step. - Is it?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe the most important.

Uh-huh.

Shit, um... You finished your residency.

That is so great. [stammering] And congratulations.

Yeah. That happened yesterday. How... How did you know that?

That's so weird. You spying on me?

- Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Hmm. Mm-hmm.

I knew it.

No, um, Ted told me.

You, uh... You doing all right?

Yeah.

You know, it's a lot of family...

How do you do at these things?

Terrible. I just do a better job of hiding it.

- [sighs] Right. - Yeah.

Carm. I mean, like, how are you doing generally?

Getting there.

You?

Getting there.

Yeah.

When, uh... Sugar called me about Michael...

I was working. I was on the line. And, uh...

I didn't want to think about it, so I put my hand on the burner.

It wasn't a...

a hot pot.

I didn't think that it was.

I'm trying to tell people things.

Terrifying.

Yeah.

Is this, um... terrifying?

No.

Okay.

- Okay. What else? - A hundred candles, right?

And a big cake.

How big?

Humongous.

Well, you know, my...

my friend Marcus, he makes absolutely the best cakes in the world.

Oh. Well, we wouldn't know 'cause we're not allowed to see.

- It's crazy that we haven't been yet. - Yeah, we're almost there.

You know, when it's perfect, you know, we would love to have you guys.

Uh, excuse me, gents. I was hoping to get a dance with the gorgeous young lady.

She's not really in a dancing mood today.

Oh, golly. Forgive me. I was actually hoping to take my first spin with the, uh...

- the other gorgeous young lady. - Oh!

Okay. I'm gonna put this down.

Be good.

Are we gonna be good? I don't think we should be.

Should we flip over a table?

You know what?

You kitty-cats chill. I'll be right back.

I'm not a kitty-cat.

You know, that's what a kitty-cat would say.

I think we should be kitty-cats for the rest of the day.

What do you think?

- Thank you so much for coming. - Would not miss it for the world.

I know, but...

- What? What's the matter? - It's just...

The scary part of the divorce was I thought I was gonna lose you

and, you know, Stevie and Michelle and Carmy and Nat and everybody.

- What do you mean? - Well, my family is such a mess, you know?

And they're all over the place. And I'm... Look, they're not even here.

I don't have anybody here and the Berzattos are like a family to me.

Oh, my God. Well, there is a horrific fucking notion, I'll tell you that.

I know. But you guys...

You're really important to me.

And if I lost the Bears, I don't--

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Listen to me now.

There are way too many things to worry about in this nasty shithole of a world.

For you, that ain't one of them.

- No? - No, ma'am.

Unfortunately for you, you're a Bear forever.

My condolences.

- I love you, Uncle J. - And I love you too.

You're not, like, in love with her?

- What? With Francine? - Yeah.

- No, babe. - Okay.

No.

Come on.

Do you wanna dance?

That's not gonna burn you alive?

- No. - Are you sure?

I don't think so.

It's a good way to participate.

Yeah, it is.

Yeah.

What do you say?

Whatever.

Okay.

Your hand?

- You know what you're doing? [chuckles] - Yeah.

I was, um, really surprised you didn't say

that, uh, refrigerators were the thing you were the most afraid of.

Mm...

A swing and a miss.

- Okay. I'll try it. - Yeah?

Only for one minute.

- You sure? - Yeah.

Cool.

- Thank you for coming with me. - Of course.

Also, you know, this is, like, a pretty rich wedding, so...

- food was a bonus. - Yeah, not about me.

- No. - No, no.

Oh, shit, um...

You never told me what you were nervous about.

Yeah, I... Just a decision.

Okay. You make the right one?

I don't know. I think there was only one. You know?

[chuckling]

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