Original subtitles

Is he here?

Is he asleep?

Dad, you forgot to pick us up from school.

Is he dead?

Are you okay?

I'm just thinking about Hal.

Wh-what about him?

Yeah, I think Harper was super excited.

Hal will too.

That's water.

♪♪ I know I have good taste ♪♪

♪♪ It's funny and it's ironic that only I feel that way ♪♪

♪♪ I promise them that you're different ♪♪

♪♪ And everyone makes mistakes ♪♪

Harper?

Not so fast.

Don't forget the closet.

♪♪ I heard that you're an actor ♪♪

♪♪ So act like a stand-up guy ♪♪

♪♪ Whatever devil's inside you ♪♪

♪♪ Don't let him out tonight ♪♪

♪♪ I tell them it's just your culture ♪♪

♪♪ And everyone rolls their eyes ♪♪

♪♪ Yeah, I know ♪♪

♪♪ All I'm asking, baby ♪♪

♪♪ Please, please, please, ♪♪

♪♪ Don't prove I'm right ♪♪

♪♪ And please, please, please, ♪♪

♪♪ Don't bring me to tears when I just did ♪♪

I'm done.

♪♪ My makeup so nice ♪♪

♪♪ Heartbreak is one thing ♪♪

♪♪ My ego's another ♪♪

♪♪ I beg you don't embarrass me, motherfucker ♪♪

♪♪ Oh, oh ♪♪

♪♪ Please, please, please ♪♪

♪♪ If you wanna go and be stupid ♪♪

♪♪ Don't do in front of me ♪♪

♪♪ If you don't wanna cry to my music ♪♪

♪♪ Don't make me hate you prolifically ♪♪

♪♪ Please, please, please ♪♪

♪♪ Please, please, please ♪♪

- Hey. - Hey.

If security is a mess, then everybody will be caught up.

- So we're all fucked. - What's your flight number?

Okay, I heard 1723.

We might have to get you another flight.

What?

No, Jess, you still haven't fixed your phone,

which means I can't hear you when you call me.

We need to get it fixed.

Your flight's on time. I can try calling.

Hey.

What are your thoughts on fast food dessert right now?

You're a kook.

You said you have a car, right?

It's like, 3:00 in the morning.

But tell me that doesn't sound so good right now.

But I feel like you don't remember my name.

Your name?

Yeah, I'll get dessert with you

if you can tell me my name.

Your name is Abby. What are you talking about?

You think I don't know your name?

What'd you think I was gonna say?

- Angels don't have names? - Hey, relax.

Do you not know my name?

- Your name is Hal. - My name's Hal.

We met at a party tonight and then

danced our asses off and then talked for, like, two hours,

and I came back to your dorm room and had sex with you

in your dorm room bed.

Okay, you need to chill out or you need to leave my room.

- Leave your room? - If you're gonna be crazy.

Okay.

Abby?

Abby, that was annoying. I'm sorry.

Are you pretending to be asleep right now?

- What? - What do you want?

Why are two girls in your bed?

Why didn't you set up your fantasy football then?

Why you in a beanbag chair?

Why do you never sleep here?

In your beanbag chair?

Okay.

I've been sleeping at Harper's

because Jesse's out of town, but she's back in town now.

I'm sorry about fantasy.

Ike had like, 400 yards.

Damn.

Did you have a threesome?

Yeah.

Why are you deeply upset about your threesome?

'Cause white girls are weird.

Like racial stuff was said?

Said, felt.

Still wanna smoke?

Uh, no.

Get dessert and fries with me.

It's 3:00 a.m.

Think McDonald's gives a shit?

McDonald's is so far away.

Yeah, you're right,

and traffic is pretty terrible right now.

Okay, idiot. Where do I pick you up?

You don't.

'Cause I'm already here!

You don't lock your windows. You need to lock those.

Her instinct is probably to guard herself

because most guys she's been with have been subhuman.

Okay, well, she thinks I am too now.

I, like, borderline yelled at her.

That's no good, dog.

She broke my heart, dog.

She broke your heart?

Yeah.

What was her last name?

What's her last name?

What's her last name?

It started with an R.

It's like, um...

Radish.

Her name is Abby Radish?

That sucks.

Her name is Abby Radish?

Falling asleep. I love you.

I love you.

When's Jesse coming?

You can sleep here. It's fine.

Okay. I might go home, but thanks.

Are you being kinda distant?

There's literally less than an inch between us right now.

I feel like you're being distant

'cause Jesse's coming back.

Oh, Hal. The sun's about to come up.

I haven't even slept yet.

I hope you realise I know something's wrong with me.

I don't think there's something wrong with you.

I'm not, like, okay with the way that I am.

What do you mean?

You're a baby, but you're still in college.

Everyone is.

Yeah, I'm a senior in college.

It should be like, okay, I shouldn't

come to my fucking sister's house

and sleep on her couch or your fucking bed

when your girlfriend's out of town.

I should write my essays when they're due.

I feel like Jesse hates me, and I feel like

you're pushing me away because she's coming back.

Jesse doesn't hate you.

But you admit you're pushing me away?

Do you have to finish an essay?

- Yes. - By when?

So long ago.

- Jesse does hate me. - No, she doesn't.

She thinks I'm the fattest baby.

I think you're the fattest baby.

I didn't say you didn't hate me.

Hal, are you forgetting how dope you are?

No, I know how dope I am.

I just feel like I can't, like--

I just feel like I can't, like--

What's going on? Talk.

I feel like something's wrong with me.

Stop saying that.

I'm, like, not okay.

I, like, don't feel okay.

I cheated on my girlfriend.

I made out with my coworker.

The single mom with two kids?

Yeah.

The divorcee with two kids?

Yeah.

So she's bisexual?

I think so.

Damn.

It's okay.

Do you wanna talk about it?

Maybe tomorrow.

Sorry to steal your thunder.

I just didn't want you to feel alone.

Yeah. Thanks for cheating on Jesse.

It makes me feel a lot better.

You're a dumbass.

When do you have to finish that essay?

Whenever you're free.

Erik wants to promote me.

He took me to dinner last night to tell me.

But he'd need me in Dallas.

He took you to dinner last night

to tell you he wants to do that,

or he actually offered it to you?

You are so annoying.

No, I'm not. I'm just asking.

This is amazing.

This is exactly what you wanted.

But not what you want.

You wanna be in LA.

I have a job here, Jess.

No, yeah.

One that you're really passionate about

and--and your boss isn't abusive and makes you

- feel-- - I missed our talks.

I just wanna know what it is you want.

Okay, I know moving to Dallas isn't--

I--okay. I'm so excited for you.

I cannot talk about this right now.

I'm so fucking tired. Hal kept me up all night.

We hate LA.

We talk about it all the fucking time.

And that basketball team in Dallas

has that white boy you guys love.

It'd be fun to go to Luka Doncic games.

Mm-hmm.

I need to go to bed.

Did you cheat on me?

What?

- Oh, ladies! - What are you talking about?

I made Eggos.

Get out.

No, I did not. I see her--

Then why is she-- why is she asking you--

I don't know why she's asking me this.

Fuck you, dude!

Are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.

How did she find out?

I really need you to leave.

What? I'm not gonna leave you.

Can you please get out?

Okay, I'll leave your room.

No, get out of the house.

Go do your fucking essay.

I don't want to.

I'm gonna make sure you're okay.

I'm not okay, and I'm not gonna be okay.

- Leave. - Why?

What you did was not that bad.

It wasn't that bad? I cheated on Jesse.

Yeah, because she wants you to follow her to Texas

and she's your first gay relationship.

So you cheated on her.

And that's not cool...

- Hal-- - But it's okay.

Hal, believe me when I say

you do not know anything about anything, okay?

I cheated because I'm not a good person.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not!

- Yes, you are. - No, I'm not, Hal!

- Yes, you are! - How would you know?

You're not a good person, either!

Okay.

We're not talking to Dad right now.

Yes, we are. What if he's dying?

- He said today. - He's not dying, Hal.

We're not-- don't fucking answer.

Don't fucking call him.

Hang up the phone.

Don't make me hurt you.

Stop!

- Give me the phone. - Fuck off.

Don't fucking call him.

Hey, are you okay?

Totally okay.

- Are you with Harper? - Yeah, she's right here.

I, uh, I have big news.

Are you going to that darty?

Yeah, where is it?

Sigma.

I don't know if it's something you need to be

railing shots for, though.

My dad's having a baby.

It's not possible.

His girlfriend is.

Aren't they old?

He is. She isn't.

Do you want me to, like, take a shot with you?

We actually have to take another shot

because he's also selling my childhood house.

Fuck.

This darty's gonna be lit.

So row, row, row.

I'd buy this sucker.

Looks great.

But now, what's the reason for keeping the rocking chair?

I don't know, I thought it might add some life

and some possibility for people wandering around

- and-- - It looks like shit, though.

Okay.

Looks like you forgot something.

Yeah, got it.

Truthfully, I don't really have a place to put it yet.

I was just trying to buy some time.

♪♪ I really wanna be your lover ♪♪

This is insane.

Definitely.

♪♪ I really wanna be your lover ♪♪

Yeah, gotcha. Yeah.

♪♪ I can never make up my mind ♪♪

♪♪ I'm thinkin' 'bout the other girls ♪♪

♪♪ Uh, what else did you expect me to do? ♪♪

♪♪ Somethin' special in them jeans ♪♪

♪♪ They be stretchin' the truth ♪♪

♪♪ She put a pep in the step of the Pepé Le Pews ♪♪

You mind, brother?

Yeah, brother. Get in on that.

Hell yeah.

♪♪ Uh, if you bring her home to momma ♪♪

♪♪ Bet she'll never approve ♪♪

Oop.

What was that?

- What's up, bro? - What are you doing?

You just put your finger in my cup.

No, I don't remember that.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to mix it. Bro.

Back up.

Stay down, you little bitch.

- Stop! - Back up, back up, back up.

Stop! Stop!

No, stop!

Chill! Chill!

- Back up! - Stop!

How'd that go for you?

Great.

Let me see your face.

I'd like to walk by myself right now.

Nice face.

Nice face.

What?

What?

Why are you so drunk?

Why are you not?

It's 2:30.

Okay, officer.

Where are you walking?

To my bed because I want this day to be over.

Why?

Oh, that's actually none of your business.

Did you see me talking to that guy

who just picked a fight with?

You mean was I jealous?

- Sure. - You gotta make up your mind.

You think I'm obsessed with you,

or do you think I don't care enough to know your name?

I was just asking you a question.

Okay, well, I really hate your questions.

I think they suck.

- Okay, have a nice walk. - Cool.

My priorities have been off.

I don't wanna talk about Dallas.

The minute I'm back, I wanna talk about us.

I wanna talk about me

getting better at cleaning and taking care of myself.

And I'm sorry that I called you from the airport

and made missing my flight your problem.

It's not your problem. And I know that I bother you.

You don't bother me.

You don't bother me.

- I'm sorry. - I know.

I don't wanna break up.

Well, you should want to.

No, I know.

I know. But I really don't.

I don't wanna break up either.

What, dude?

Hey, I'm walking to your house.

I have that essay due tomorrow.

I'm so sorry.

- I'm so sorry. - What happened to your face?

Nothing.

You look like the Elephant Man.

The Bradley Cooper version or the David Lynch version?

Not the Bradley Cooper version.

Okay. Can I come inside?

No, Hal, you can't.

I really need to bullshit this, like, super-fast.

I'm really sorry about today.

I know you love Jesse. I know you wanna be with her.

I just was...

I was just feeling scared about us not being together.

And I'm really upset about our childhood house being sold.

Hal.

I'm so okay with him having a baby,

but I just don't want him to sell our childhood house.

Hal.

Can I please come inside to write the essay?

I literally typed zero words,

and I can't type any other words unless I'm inside here.

Hal, Hal, hey, hey, you need to calm down okay?

- Can I just come inside? - No.

Write it at yours.

- I've been trying to. - You need to stop.

I've been trying to. I need to write it at yours.

You need to stop. You're suffocating me!

What are you doing?

I cannot fucking help you. I have my own shit.

La, la, la.

Can you get it?

Yeah, nice.

One, two, three.

Go.

You got it.

- The door is open. - Hey, hey--

Was I snoring?

No, I just couldn't sleep.

Sorry I was busy tonight.

No. How's your stress level?

I'm handling.

How is your stress?

No stress.

You just can't sleep

'cause you're so excited about all the change?

I can help you, too, you know?

I wish you would tell me about the house.

I told you, just- it looks really empty.

What else?

Nothing else.

You don't wanna tell me about

the rocking chair in your car?

I was able to see the rocking chair in your car, yes.

Okay, I-- I want you to get some sleep.

I'm just out here on the couch because I don't want

my tossing and turning to wake you up.

That's it.

I know, I know, I know.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

Settle down, Hal.

It's okay, baby.

Mommy. Mommy!

- Come on. Come on. - Daddy, you have a hole.

Huh?

You have a hole in your pants.

The wind's gonna get in and it's gonna make you chilly.

I'm gonna be okay. Okay?

Hey, guys. You wanna watch some Warriors?

I wanna watch some Warriors.

Let's watch some Warriors.

Barely seen defensively, jumping into the passing lane.

That leads to the transition easy bucket.

Where's Mommy?