Original subtitles

Good morning, boss. Good morning, my friend.

And what have you there?

Do you remember how you used to tell me that I was getting too involved with

money and that I should get into finer things like art?

That was my advice, yes.

And you are actually taking it?

Oh, both. I always listen to your advice.

Well.

Well. And which of the arts are you getting into?

I'm getting into music.

Music. Oh.

I'm going to be studying the trumpet.

The trumpet.

What an interesting choice.

I'm going to be practicing three times a day.

Until I get better, then we are strong.

And you're going to hear the difference.

Oh, yes, yes. I'm sure I will.

I'm sure I will.

Smile, everyone.

Smile.

Ah, Mr. Charles Preston of Detroit, Michigan.

He looks very nervous.

Oh, really?

Well, he wasn't too nervous to send us his certified check for $10 ,000.

Oh, I love nervous people.

They have a lot of energy.

Yes.

What is fantasy?

One shared by millions of put -upon, fed -up males the world over, Tattoo.

He's tired of a family and business that makes endless demands on him, so he's

adequately provided for his wife and children, and now wants to live a

carefree existence.

No past, no future, no money worries, because he wants no money, not even one

credit card.

In other words, Mr. Preston's fantasy is to be a happy, carefree beachcomber.

A beachcomber?

He wants to live like Paul Gauguin?

Perhaps.

At least that's what he hopes.

Mrs. Mabel Jarvis.

She looks like someone's grandma.

To be more precise, she is grandmother to five someones, all of whom love her

very much.

What's her fantasy?

To play her favorite character in fiction. You see, Mrs. Jarvis is an avid

mystery reader, and her favorite author is Daphne Wallace.

Oh, she's going to play Aunt Daphne. Yes.

I read all her mystery books.

They are very exciting and very scary.

Scary, indeed.

And the question Mrs. Jarvis may have to unravel is where the fictional terror

ends and real terror.

My dear guest, I am Mr. Rock, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

This one's awesome.

It's beautiful.

It's what I've always dreamed of.

Yes, it is lovely, isn't it?

The sand and sea are warm, the climate benevolent, the natives friendly,

sometimes a little too friendly.

That hut is yours. The furnishings are Spartan, but the free souls of the beach

place little emphasis on material possessions.

That's the way I want it.

We'll be back Monday morning.

In case you wish to change your mind.

You're wasting your time.

I'm going to stay here forever.

I see.

Mr. Preston...

You do realize, don't you, that some unsympathetic souls do not view

beachcombers as poets in disguise, but rather as bums to be victimized.

Don't worry.

I'm long past caring what people like or don't like.

Well, in that case, we bid you good luck.

And goodbye.

Come to two.

I did, Mr. Rourke. You know that I have read every one of Aunt Daphne's murder

mysteries at least five times. Really?

So tell me, which one are we going to act out? Is it going to be the

checkerboard murders or the coconut plantation caper?

Won't you please sit down?

Yes, we'd be delighted, wouldn't we?

Mr. Jarvis, Daphne Wallet, more affectionately known to her readers as

Daphne, was a very dear and personal friend of mine. Did you know she had a

called Mockingbird Manor here on Fantasy Island?

Of course.

And we're looking forward to visiting it after our adventure.

I see.

After Daphne's death last year, I found this manuscript in her library, barely

half finished.

The very last Aunt Daphne who'd done it.

Excepting myself, you could be the first who has ever read it.

Oh.

More precisely, you would be the third person to read it.

For her own purposes, she titled it The Mystery of Mockingbird Manor.

This could be your project.

You would be taken to her home and greeted there as the fictional Anne

the other characters in the manuscript. They will help you play out the scenes.

Fascinating. But what happens when we get to the end?

Well, perhaps as a devoted fan, you will have deduced the ending Daphne would

have liked. In other words, whodunit.

I don't know, Mr. Rourke. I mean, we didn't plan on anything as unusual as

I understand.

No.

I will do it.

I just hope that...

We can pull it off.

So do I, Mrs. Jarvis.

It was a... pleasant, cheerful day as we turned into the drive of Mockingbird

Manor, little could anyone suspect the tense, terror -filled moments that were

soon to come.

Oh, the Great Dane bounded toward them.

Now, now, don't stoop to his level, Hercules.

And then, then the butler called.

Down, Mandrake, down!

I hope he didn't startle you, Aunt Daphne. No.

You must be Hemsley, the butler. Yes, ma 'am. We've been expecting you.

And there's Aunt Daphne when she was young. No, no, don't be nervous. All

And there's that thing right there that was black, ugly as sin,

with a fierce beak and beady button eyes.

Yes.

How ugly. Just as it says.

I'll have your things taken up to your room, madam.

Tea will be ready shortly.

Oh, wonderful.

The others will be slightly late, madam.

The others?

Cousin Terence and Charlotte.

Charlotte? Your late brother's wife.

Oh, yes, of course.

They're in chapter two.

I beg your pardon?

Nothing. Nothing.

Very good, madam.

You must be careful.

Oh, well, cool it off.

Splendid. And his desk, where she wrote all those wonderful books.

Come on.

Come on.

Come and see all the things.

What in the world?

Three aces of fame?

Why would anybody want three aces of fame?

That must be a clue.

But to what crime?

I know, I know.

But he's trying so hard to develop his talent.

I mean, what can we do but encourage him?

Tattoo, where did all these instruments come from?

Oh, don't worry, boss.

This is for my new band.

Now you're forming a band?

A marching band.

We are going to be a sensation.

I'm going to be the band leader.

Oh, marvelous.

Now I'm going to practice twice as hard.

I'm Charlie. Charlie Preston.

Hello, Charlie.

Boy, that Rourke provides everything.

What's a Rourke?

He didn't send you?

You're crazy. You talk funny.

Are you married, Charlie?

Well, probably not by now. I imagine my wife's already filed for divorce.

You need someone.

That'll take care of you.

Charlie, like the fish?

Best I ever tasted.

Do you like me, Charlie?

What do you think?

Do you want to play the love game?

The love game?

How do you play the love game?

Well, I run, and you try and catch me.

And if you catch me, you win the game.

And also, a very special prize.

I'm probably divorced by now, as I said.

Hey, what am I hesitating for?

I'm a beachcomber, and the lucky bums do things like this.

Over here, Charlie.

Who are you?

Topa, have you been playing the loft game?

Who are you?

You, sir, have dishonored my daughter.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. I never saw her before in my life.

Sweetheart, don't you remember?

I'm Topa.

I don't care who you are. I never saw you before.

How can you say that?

And you're my snoogle -moogle. Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.

According to our customs, you have but one choice.

Marriage or her brothers.

Her brothers.

Congratulations, my son.

I'm glad you see it my way.

Tupa will make you a devoted wife.

Let him go, boy.

Our groom is a bit hesitant.

But where can he go on this island?

Prepare the wedding.

Come. We get the preacher.

This makes me so happy.

Shut up, Mandrake.

You'll never learn to recognize us. Don't, Mandrake. Don't.

Go!

Miss Daphne is taking tea before the fire, Miss Charlotte.

Hello, Aunt Daphne.

Terran.

Hello, Charlotte.

Well, I do hope there's some of that tea left.

Oh, there is.

A double brandy for me, please, Hemsley.

Of course, sir.

Shall I be mom?

Why did you come?

Miss Charlotte, please.

That's our Charlotte.

Just blurt everything right out.

Sugar?

Oh, thank you.

Well, here we all are.

Back together again.

All of us.

Just as we planned last year.

All of us.

Plus one.

Can

I

have a drink, please?

Rum, bourbon?

Anything. It's all right.

You'd never believe what happened.

That'll be a buck.

Oh, sure.

This is kind of funny, but...

I suppose you'd take a counter check?

Why do you geeks make me do this?

You think I like to hurt people?

No, our feelings hurt me, but I gotta teach you a lesson.

Good Lord, man, it was only one drink.

If I let you beat me out of one now, next time it'll be two.

Pretty soon my stock will be going into the bottomless pit.

I'm sorry.

I'm not as sorry as you're going to be.

Hey.

Drink some of me, buddy.

Oh, that's more like it.

Hey, you okay,

fella? No, not really.

But there's one good thing about the beachcoming business.

If the beach that you're on isn't working out, you can always move to

beach.

Do you know of another good beach?

Well, I tell you, that's not such a good idea because, you see, you're under

arrest. What? Yeah, that's right. Your wife has offered a $5 ,000 reward for

your safe return if you'll just look right there. What?

You get the picture?

Now you get going quietly or I'll find some hard time for you to do right here

before you do.

And trust me, pal, that slammer in Wahili is a killer.

Hey, they got rats there bigger than kangaroos. You're out of your mind.

The authorities will know this whole thing is phony when I tell them who I

Who you are?

Hey, you're a drifter.

You got no ID.

You're just a bum.

You got no past.

You got no future.

Now, look, why don't you let me send you back home where you probably belong?

No, no.

You're not going to send me back to that life. I gave them everything I had.

What more do they want from me?

Hey, pal, that's your problem. Look, I just deliver you and then I collect,

that's all. And that's how it's going to be.

Unless, of course, you want to play it another way. You know, the easy way.

The easy way?

Yeah, guys who drop out like you usually carry a little stash of dough secretly,

you know what I mean?

Well, for 7 ,500 bucks, I could forget I ever saw you.

You're pretty smart, aren't you?

Yeah, I didn't get to be the man I am acting dumb, you know?

I can see that.

Well, all my money's locked up in a safe at the Mutanga shipping company.

Oh, well, then we'll wait till morning when it opens up, right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, right, right, right.

Hey, look, don't try running out on me before then, because if you do...

Miss Jarvis, you must get out of here right now.

You're not in the manuscript.

Manuscript? What manuscript, Mrs. Jarvis?

And you're calling me by my real name.

Yes, well, shouldn't I?

Look, I've come to warn you.

You're in terrible danger, Mrs. Jarvis.

Dreadful, deadly danger.

From whom?

From those people in there.

You see, I was here the night of the murder.

What murder?

My aunt.

Daphne Wallace.

She didn't die naturally?

Daphne Wallace was murdered?

By one of the people in this house.

They're not characters in a manuscript. They're real.

Oh, don't you see?

All of them were heirs to her fortune.

Then she called these three together to announce a new will.

That night.

She was killed.

And now they're afraid that you've come here to solve the murder.

And Mrs. Jarvis, if you do, well, then... They might... Oh, but that dear

Rourke would never put me into any real danger.

Would he?

He would.

If he thought you could solve the murder of his friend, Daphne Wallace.

Ah, there you are.

And you're here. Dear cousin Edmund.

What a surprise.

Come along, my dear.

We're about to dine.

Charlotte will be so happy to see you.

I do hope you haven't been bothering Aunt Daphne here with a lot of silly

stories.

Hello, Mrs. Jarvis. You told me that the murder of Mockingbird Manor was a work

of fiction.

Oh, I think I just said it was an unfinished manuscript, didn't I, Tattoo?

That's right, boss.

But it's autobiographical.

I mean, it's real.

Those people in there are really Daphne Wallace's relatives.

Yes, I'm afraid they are.

And the reason that the book was never finished was because Daphne was

Not the fictional characters Mrs. Wallace was writing about, but Mrs.

herself.

Well, one thing I certainly don't understand is why, if one of those

there is guilty, then all of them came back to the island?

To play our little game.

Yes. If one had refused, would it not have made him appear very suspicious?

You see, I had hoped we could help each other, Mrs. Jarvis.

I, by providing your fantasy,

You by helping me flush out Mrs. Wallace's killer.

It didn't work out.

And from here on, it's no game.

It may well be deadly.

And there is nothing I can do to protect you.

Please get in the car.

But if I go now, then the murderer will get away free.

I'm afraid so.

Oh, no.

I can't let that happen.

I owe that great lady more than that.

You realize you may be placing yourself in a great deal of danger, Mrs. Jarvis.

I do.

Very well, then.

Mrs. Jarvis, you are a very brave woman.

I hope your decision proves to be a wise one.

I hope so, too.

Oh, that Daphne.

Did I do the right thing?

No, monsieur.

Let the ceremony begin.

Look, you're making a big mistake.

No mistake.

Tupper make you a lovable wife.

Hold it there. Hold it.

Break it up, Gorno. This man is wanted by the police.

He's a vagrant.

Papu.

Okay,

you flake.

Shipping company says you don't have a dime on the button.

Look, I'm already married.

So I couldn't marry her anyway.

You didn't act married when you were chasing Ula into the cave.

Take me away.

Papu! Papu!

Thank you.

Look at them out there.

And to think that one of them murdered Daphne.

Evelyn.

You must have known Daphne Wallace better than anyone.

Did she ever express an interest to you in flying kites?

Flying kite.

Mrs. Jarvis.

She was an extremely dignified lady.

Well, then why would she write, the secret lies behind the kite?

Strange. The only flying that she was interested in was done by birds.

Birds? She loved birds.

All kinds of birds.

You can see by looking at the house.

Evelyn.

I think we've got it. We have. A kite.

Do you remember that phrase from Shakespeare?

In the maws of kites, a kite is a big ugly bird.

That must be what that hideous thing is.

Then if the secret is behind the kite...

See, it's another bird sanctuary.

My goodness.

No, it's not for you.

Evelyn?

I think I found the answer.

Did Daphne write that?

Yes, I'm sure that's her handwriting.

Well... What is it?

It's a holographic will.

It specifically disinherits Terrence, Charlotte, and Hemsley.

They were trying to defraud her, and she found out about it.

And who does get the money? The first half goes to the Seabirds Ornithological

Foundation, and the second half goes to you.

There's the motive for the murder.

When the three of them learned of the new will, one of them decided to do

something about it.

And that one killed her.

I think we'd better get out of here.

Can I bring you anything, madam?

Oh, no, thank you, Hemsley. We're fine, just fine.

Very good, madam.

How I hate that woman for putting us through this terrible weekend.

And I don't think Hemsley deserved the house.

After all, he's only a servant. Don't be greedy, darling.

Daphne's old will made us all rich anyway.

You were saying... That's strange.

How could this become tilted like that?

What is it?

Some kind of secret room.

That woman must have been in here.

You don't suppose she found Daphne's new will in here?

You can count on it.

I've been looking for this secret room for years.

Oh, how I wish Daphne were alive to figure this out.

Maybe in one of her books, all three had equal motives.

Wait a minute.

There was a situation just like this in the case of the corpulent corpse.

In the book, I think they all drew cards.

And whoever drew the ace of spades would be the murderer.

But only that one would know.

Naturally, they asked Hemsley, the butler, to provide the cards.

And he fixed the cards in the book so that they were all aces.

That's it.

They're all going to kill me.

But another murder? We've no choice.

Just like the last time, the one who drew the ace of spades would be the

murderer.

Get on with it, Hemsley.

I'm sorry, sir.

Ladies first.

Ula.

The moon will be full tonight, Babu. I had a vision for island goddess.

She was dancing in one of the stars.

When the vision passed, I saw you first.

Then you must obey the island custom.

The love games?

Yeah.

have too much time to bargain.

Promise to marry Tupa and I'll set you free.

You never give up, do you?

Yes or no?

All right.

You win.

Oh, no. Wait. You promised.

Now I want my special prize.

No!

Halt! Halt! This is the police!

Hey, hey, hey! Stop!

Halt! Police!

Hey, hey!

Hold it!

Halt!

Mr. Preston, you're just in time to join us. I can't. Cops chasing me.

Not anymore.

Your fantasy is over, Mr. Preston.

What about Bapu?

Well, I'm afraid the officer who is chasing you has other business to attend

at the moment.

With hula, hula la.

Yes. Well, even so, it looks like I'm out of luck and out of options.

I haven't had much fun here. In fact, it's been a disaster.

Yes.

Well, I suppose you could always go back to your family, couldn't you?

I thought about that while I was in jail.

Oh, what a shambles I made of my life.

I'd go back in a minute if they'd take me.

Well, they did put out a reward flyer for your safe return.

Do you think they'd forgive me?

Is there a chance?

Nancy?

Charlie, I know why you ran away, Charlie, and I'm sorry.

I guess it's been pretty great for you here, huh?

Tropical paradise.

None of the home problems we've been sticking you with.

Nobody on your back all the time.

Yeah, it's been pretty terrific.

Then I guess you don't want to hear what I have to say.

What? That we love you, that we learned our lesson, and we want you to come

home. We're not going to take you for granted anymore, Charlie.

I see.

Gee, it'll be tough to give all this up.

Oh, that's okay.

I only ask that you let me stay with you until you decide what you want to do.

Just a moment.

Come in, Hemsley.

I thought perhaps you might like a cup of tea, madam.

Thank you, Hemsley. How very thoughtful of you. Not at all.

Allow me. So clumsy.

All clear, chums.

Well, and which one of us do you suppose did it?

You killed her.

Just as you murdered Aunt Daphne. We'll decide how to get rid of her on the way

to the airport.

Hurry and pack the bags.

Bring the car.

Get the car yourself. I'm no longer a servant. I said bring the car. We have

decide what to do with her before we get to the airport.

You know what must be done.

She's going into the garage.

Arrest those people. Arrest them for the murder of Daphne Wallace.

Charles.

Wow.

How did I do?

I'm sure Aunt Daphne is very proud of you, Charles.

Thank you.

Goodbye, Mr. Rourke, and thanks for everything. You're going back home so

Mr. Preston?

Temporarily. I have a few communication gaps to clear up the office, too.

Maybe I should apologize to some people and admit I've done a few things wrong.

Oh, and vice versa.

But we'll be back.

Good luck, Mr. Preston. Pleasure, Mr. Preston. Goodbye.

Bye.

I must say, this has been the most exciting experience of my life. Oh, I am

glad. Do you know what was your most brilliant deduction?

Realizing that Hemsley engineered it, so all three committed the murder.

Thank you.

Well, of course, it was most gratifying to me to be able to repay Daphne Wallace

for all the years of pleasure her books have given me. And, of course, she saved

Evelyn's life.

Oh, how's that?

If I hadn't thought of that trick from Harlequin Homicide, they would have

killed Evelyn, too.

Oh, they would have, indeed.

But one thing puzzles me, Mrs. Jarvis. What's that? Well, I looked at Harlequin

Homicide this morning, and the trick you used is not in the book.

Are you sure?

Positive.

Oh, well, I'm sure Daphne would have done it if she'd thought of it.

Thank you, Mr. Rook. You're most welcome.

Service.

Thank you.

Excuse me, boss, but

I've got to go.

I've got to go to my first rehearsal with my new band.

Oh, of course, my friend. I have to tell you something.

Despite all of the noise...

I really admire your stick -to -itiveness in learning to play the

I can imagine it gets very tedious at times, huh?

Well, to tell you the truth, boss, I was ready to give it up until I got the

idea of the band.

Why would that make you change your mind? I mean, having to take care of a

band would mean all the more work, wouldn't it?

That's your band, huh?

Well, you know me, boss, huh?

Work, work, work.

Goodbye, boss.