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Bye.
Good morning, Tattoo. Good morning, boss.
Oh, isn't it a glorious morning?
Ah, if you say so.
Oh, still feeling low, Tattoo?
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way.
That's all right, boss. I know what you mean.
I don't understand something.
Why is it that when people are sad, they say they are low?
And when they have no money, they say they are short?
Ah, merely figures of speech.
That's all.
Oh, I almost forgot.
This came for you yesterday.
Oh, it must be the new package I sent for my costume.
Well, it's good to see a smile on your face, my friend. Oh, by the way, what
you going to be at this year's masquerade?
Oh, my favorite hero, Robin Hood.
That's a splendid choice.
You'll make a wonderful Robin Hood.
Well, I don't think the costume company thinks so.
What do you mean?
Well, either they send the wrong size...
Oh, they think I should be the... Jolly Green Giant.
Smile, everyone.
Smile.
For the past few years, Mr. Ed Green has been the only male teacher at a very
exclusive private school for young women.
The only man in an all -private girls' school?
Wow. Oh, all is not as it seems, that's right.
Mr. Breen feels he spends his life trying to teach and appease some very,
spoiled debutants. To counter this, he wishes to be the master of women.
Many women. His women.
In short, his fantasy is to be a sheik with his own harem.
But, uh, do you think I can get something off?
Maybe I can help Mr. Breen?
Uh, I work very hard.
That too. Please.
Take a good look at you.
It isn't often you see someone who has returned from the dead.
Returned from the dead?
Eight years ago, Sergeant Alan Boardman was reported killed in action in
Vietnam. Back home, a coffin was buried, his widow cried, and the local
congressman presented his baby son with a distinguished service cross his father
had earned.
It wasn't until recently that the mistake was discovered.
How come it took so long to find out who he was?
He was badly injured when he became a prisoner of war.
His face and body burned.
He was in a state of shock and identification was impossible.
Even when he came out of it, his memory was gone.
After the war, a series of plastic surgery operations restored him
But it was only a few months ago that his memory returned.
And he remembered, after eight long years, who he was.
and the names of the wife and child he left behind.
His wife and his little boy must have been very happy to see him.
Unfortunately not.
You see, Tattoo, when he went home, they had disappeared.
Oh, he searched for months, but to no avail.
That's why he's come here.
And his fantasy is to find his family.
Do you know where they are, Bob?
Do you?
My dear guest, I am Mr. Rock.
Your host, welcome to Fantasy Island.
Yes?
Mr. Boardman is here.
Ah, yes, Mr. Boardman. Please, come in, come in.
Sit down, won't you?
I really don't feel very much like sitting down.
My wife, child, have you found them? Are they all right?
Oh, yes, yes, I found them, and I must say they both seem fine and happy.
Thank God.
I've been so scared, you know, the last three months, looking for them
everywhere. When can I see them?
Soon, Mr. Boardman, soon.
I thought it would be better if we had a chance to talk first.
Talk about what?
About your wife and your son.
And the shock it would be to them to find out you're still alive.
You mean you haven't told them? Why not?
I thought it best that the decision of if and when to tell them should come
you.
Why not get to know them first?
With your new face, there should be no problem of them recognizing you.
Something's wrong.
Why aren't you telling me?
They, um... They loved you.
Remember that.
But please remember, too, that they thought you were dead.
They didn't know they should wait.
Your wife remarried five years ago.
Nancy has a husband, Mr. Baldwin.
Just as your son, Danny, already has a father.
We have reached the forbidden area.
Beyond lies your harem.
My harem.
You know, Mr. Rourke, I've heard you were incredible, but how did you put
all together?
Actually, the palace and harem belong to one of my regular guests.
His Imperial Radiant, the Sheik of Kasha, has graciously agreed to lend it
to you for the weekend.
A used harem.
I was hoping, I thought...
Mr. Breen, a harem should be thought of as a very special car lot.
There are always several brand new models, but there are also many classics
which should not be ignored.
As long as there aren't any lemons.
I am Habib, chief of Kasha. Mr. Ruak told me you would be here. My blessings
upon you for bringing an old man welcome relief from all the devoted, fawning
females.
Oh, I'm glad to help out.
Hakim is overseer of the harem. Now he shall obey your slightest wish as he has
always obeyed mine.
Oh, well, in that case, with your permission, um...
I'd like to meet my power.
I'd like to meet the harem.
I applaud your enthusiasm.
Mr. Roe told me you would be strong and willing.
A moment, please.
My doctor has told me to acquire a hobby. Now, say cheese.
Cheese.
I shall have a lovely time now. A whole weekend alone with my camera. And no
women.
What a nice man.
Confessional. I think it's time.
To make a few introductions.
This way, Radiance.
Radiance.
Patatita, master.
First among those most favored.
Ignore her, master.
I can please you much, much better.
Eura. Favorite. The first of the most favored.
First favorite.
Favorite first.
Well, that might have been with the old sheep, but with me, you're going to have
to prove yourselves if you want to keep your stripes.
Do you suppose you could teach me a few of those moves?
Those and many more, Your Excellency.
I think I've died and gone to heaven.
They told me I'd find you here. I... I've thought it over. I'd like to meet
them. I see.
And how would you like to be introduced?
By your real name or the one they gave you in the hospital, Paul Andrews?
I don't know.
Does that make any sense? It's just that... I dreamt about meeting them for
eight years, and now I'm supposed to make a decision like that about whether
still have a place in their life.
Yes.
Yes.
Nancy and her new husband, Frank Harding, have come to Fantasy Island,
believe, as first prize winners of a supermarket contest.
Harding.
That's your name now?
Yes. They bring Danny with them?
Of course.
God, am I scared.
You are a kind and compassionate man, Mr. Boardman.
I'm sure you'll make the right decision.
Mr. Roark, when will I meet them?
Can I have it back, mister?
Sure.
Thanks a lot.
Haven't I told you to be careful with that ball, Danny?
He's usually a very good boy. Sometimes he just gets excited.
Yes, I'm sure he is.
Is something wrong?
No, no.
It's just the name Danny in your face.
It's so familiar as if I've seen it in a photograph somewhere.
Vietnam. You were in Vietnam?
Yes. My dad was killed there. If you saw a picture of me, you must have met my
husband.
Too much of a coincidence.
My dad was a sergeant.
A real hero. He won the Distinguished Service Cross.
Well, that was a long time ago.
But we're still very proud of him.
His name was Alan Boardman. Did you know him?
Yes. Yes, I did.
You did?
So there you are.
This is my husband.
This man knew Alan in Vietnam. Isn't that amazing?
Well, yes, it certainly is.
Hi, I'm Frank Harding.
Paul, Andrew.
How are you? You here with your family?
No, I'm alone.
We were planning a little picnic this afternoon.
Mr. O 'Rourke told us about a nice little spot down by the lagoon.
You're certainly welcome to join us.
Well, I really don't think... We'd love to have you.
Yeah, I'll, uh... I'll do my best. Come on, Danny, let's get some drag clothes.
Oh, I just had the most incredible dream.
Oh! Oh!
Oh, if I'm gonna keep that up, I better start jogging, doing push -ups, running
sprints, and... Oh!
Scratch my back. I will scratch it, master. I will do it. Your nails are
the claws of an eagle. You will hurt him. I would never harm my beloved
sister to a pig.
All right, wait a minute.
You scratch this side and you scratch that side.
Oh, yeah.
This is better than teaching Latin at Fallen Bee Academy for gentle
women.
I'm out of pomegranate juice.
No, no, no, no, no. You stay here. Let somebody else make points.
Excuse me. You, over there.
Miss?
I would like some more juice and some dates.
I'm waiting.
That's better.
What was that all about?
That insolent wench.
Hakeem!
Hakeem, who was that dancing girl that just went past you?
Yasmine, sire, but seek her not.
Content yourself with the many women who adore their master.
I'm the sheik, right?
Then do my bidding. I would like to meet Miss Yasmine right here in my very
private chambers.
As you wish, magnificence.
Well. Let's see, where were we? Right in the middle of hanky and panky.
Heavy on the hank and light on the pank.
You
catching
anything?
Nah.
Oh, hi.
Hi. Maybe I could give you a hand. Do you mind?
Sure. Come on.
How long you been out?
For about an hour.
Oh.
You okay?
Yeah.
Tell me about my dad, Mr. Andrews.
Did he like to fish?
Almost better name.
At least that's what he told me. I mean, we didn't do a lot of fishing, did we?
Sometimes I dream about him.
And me and him, we're playing baseball.
We're just talking.
Sure wish I could have gone fishing with him.
What are you talking about?
Hey, you got a bite.
Look, Dad, I'm a really big one. You do, don't you? Look at that.
I got to show Mom. Yeah, I'd say that qualifies at first glance.
Heavy -duty whopper.
Look what I caught. Mom, Dad.
Hey, look at you.
I caught a fish.
Well, if you'd be a little more careful, son, you'd save your mother a lot of
work.
Danny, what happened to you?
I slipped.
But look what I caught, Mom.
It's a real beauty, sweetheart.
Mr. Andrews helped me.
Oh, you accepted our invitation.
I had hoped you would.
Uh, thank you.
He said Dad liked fish, too. Almost better than anything.
That's right, he did.
You must have known Alan well.
Uh, combat, you know, things happen fast. A couple of months, you feel as if
you've known someone his whole life.
Hi, Tattoo.
Hi, Denny.
Mr. Harding.
There is a telephone call for you from the mainland.
They say that's very important.
That could be the call we've been waiting for.
Um... Save a hot dog for me, huh?
Please sit down, Mr. Andrews.
Thanks. Oh, I, uh... I left a horse over by the stream. I better... I can get
it. Please.
Think you can handle it? It's okay with me. It's okay with your mom.
Go ahead.
You going to feed the fish to the horse?
He seems like a good boy.
Oh, he has his moments.
I just hope he doesn't pester you too much about Alan.
No. No, I don't mind.
You know, Danny thinks that his father is just about the greatest man that ever
lived.
Is that a bad thing?
Well, sometimes.
It makes it awfully hard for a stepfather to compete.
And Frank has worked very hard to build us into life.
Put all that in the past, huh?
I thought about that after we met you at the pool.
I remember when I first heard that Alan had died.
I wanted to die, too.
It's funny how time heals wounds.
Alan and I loved each other so much, it was almost like a fairy tale.
And now...
It's eight years later.
And it's almost... It's almost like it was a part of somebody else's life.
Or a dream.
A dream.
Have you ever felt like that?
Uh... No.
Never.
Lady Yasmin, as you ordered, Serenity.
Bring the wench in.
She will not bring you pleasure, master.
Let me tame her first. No, no, no.
You and your honchos out. Out.
Hour.
I love it.
You know, I admire your spirit.
But I'm tired of women who won't listen to me. So if you don't give me a hard
time, I won't give you one.
Ta -da!
Surprise, surprise, Edgar Breen.
Brenda Rappaport.
What are you doing here?
Defending my honor, you creep.
Get fresh with me and I'll clobber you.
Brenda, it really is you.
In the flesh, if you'll pardon the expression.
Excuse me for stuffing myself, but they don't feed you too well when you're a
dancing girl who won't play footsies with a sheik.
You're supposed to be teaching physical education at Follingsby Academy. What
are you doing here in my fantasy?
Your fantasy?
I used to jog past your Latin class three times a day, but you never noticed
I'm here because my fantasy was to be noticed by you. So that rat Rourke fixes
it so that I get trapped in a crummy harem with an old cheek and a bunch of
guards who always want to whip me. And now you finally show up, but by this
time, who cares?
Ask me some questions.
Yeah, yeah.
Notice you? Why should I notice you? You were hardly noticeable with that big
bun of hair, thick glasses, and the sweatsuits with the baggy knees.
I didn't know.
You're very attractive.
You're beautiful.
In fact, you're gorgeous.
There was a time I would have killed to hear you say that.
Matter of fact, it's wonderful to hear you say it now.
Oh, speaking of killed.
Eddie, I hate to say this, but I think you've been set up for an assassination.
I've been what?
Set up.
I heard Hakeem talking with the guards.
The old sheik knew he was a marked man, so he was arranging a plan where he'd
split and set up a stooge to get knocked off in his place.
What makes you think I'm the stooge?
Because he lent you his harem.
When the assassins show up and find you here, they'll put two and two together
and come up with homicide.
Eddie, you've got to get out fast if you can.
If I can?
I am the Sheik.
This is my domain.
I can come and go as I please.
Would you move, please?
I don't think he understands English.
What is thy wish, divinity?
I'd like to take a walk. I feel a bit cooped up in here.
The hour is most inauspicious, master. Enjoy the pleasures of thy harem, noble
personage. It is to that end that I labor most unworthily in thy service.
It is a sinner.
I know it's late. I saw the light burning.
You're welcome any time, Mr. Boardman.
May I offer you a drink?
Yes.
What are you drinking?
Bourbon.
Ice.
Yes.
Well, I take it you've come to some sort of a decision.
Yes. I want you to arrange a meeting for me.
With my wife and son.
If I'm not mistaken, that's what I did for you this afternoon.
You... Yes.
I wasn't ready then.
I'd love...
But you are ready now.
You're damn right I am.
I want my family back, Mr. Rock.
And I intend to have them. I know it's not going to be easy.
I mean, why should Nancy say that it's wrong for the boy to love me? It's too
much competition for the stepfather.
I know that Danny loves her. I'm sure of it.
And Nancy does too.
But you know the problem.
They are legally married.
And the boy was officially adopted by... How can they be legally married? I'm a
husband. I'm alive in here.
I apologize.
I... Feeling very sorry for myself for that too much drink.
But I intend to get my family back.
And I'll fight it through every court in the land if I have to.
Do you really think it's a battle that can be won in the courts?
If I have to.
I've done some checking, a couple of phone calls. Harding is up to his neck
debt. And I have eight years back pay to spend.
And I'll spend every nickel of it if I have to on lawyers.
I'll arrange a meeting in the morning.
At the Harding Bungalow at noon.
Good night, Mr. Boardman.
Who is it?
Ant, I just heard Hakeem talking with some of the guards.
Your killers are emissaries from Prince Mustafa of the Sudan.
They plan to use daggers after dinner tonight.
Daggers?
Oh, wait a minute. They won't hurt me. After all, this is not the face of a
sheik. You want to bet? Take a look.
Right in the middle of the page.
The face of a sheik.
That's where the sheik took that picture.
Uncounted pardons, illustrious paragon of excellence. I would not have intruded
unless it was a matter of great consequence.
Your guests have arrived.
Emissaries from the Honorable Mustafa, Prince of the Sudan.
They bring gifts and greetings to the true sheik of Kasha.
Um, tell him I'm not home.
Such discourtesies would be impossible, Radiance.
I will inform them that thou art resting from thy revels and that you will greet
them properly this evening at dinner.
Dinner?
Sounds like the last supper.
Hello, Tattoo.
Oh, hi, boss.
Oh, are we still filled with our self -pity?
Well, it comes and goes, you know.
If you were my side, you would understand.
Sit down for a moment.
My dear friend, don't you realize that the world is filled with people who are
too short or too tall?
Or their ears or nose or their eyes or feet are too big or too small.
And that's the marvelous thing about it all.
That every one of us, in its own special way, is unique.
But you don't understand, boss.
Nobody takes me seriously.
When I wink at a girl, they don't even smile.
When I balance your book...
You don't even pay attention.
I'm small, and the world is built for people your size.
And if I could change for all time the world this moment to your size, I would,
my friend.
Thank you, boss.
But it would not work.
You see, then my best friend will be too big.
And I wouldn't want that to happen to you.
Let's get this over with. I'm afraid there is a new problem, perhaps more
important than yours. I just received word that your son has run away.
Danny?
Why? Well, I hope to find that out in a moment.
What happened?
We found this note in Danny's room.
It won't be sent away.
What's all this about?
We were trying to send Danny to a special kind of boarding school.
But he didn't understand.
Boarding school.
I understand.
You wanted him out of the way. Your husband did. Wait a minute.
Look, your friendship with Danny's father doesn't give you the right to
here and judge us or interfere with our lives. I'm not too sure about that.
Maybe it does.
Please, please, please.
Where is Mr. Harding now?
He's out looking for Danny.
I see. I'll organize a search party to help him. We could use your help, too.
Yes. I'd like to settle this first.
Why was Danny being sent away?
Look, I know you mean well. Why?
I think you should tell us, Mrs. Harding. It might make it easier to help
boy.
Danny has problems with school.
He has severe visual dyslexia.
A reading disturbance.
It makes schoolwork almost impossible.
Well, Frank found this boarding school, and they seem to have overcome the
problem.
It's too far away to commute, and it's very expensive.
Frank had spent years building up his business, and now he's borrowed every
penny he can on it to try and give Danny a chance at a future.
He loves him that much.
Of course he does.
As much as any father could.
When you adopt someone, you choose to be a father.
You accept the responsibilities.
Now, I think that's as big a step as being a natural father in many ways.
Yes, he loves Daddy.
Everything he's done proves that.
But the boy loves his real father.
Danny never knew his real father.
Alan was a wonderful man.
But eight years is a long time. It's hard to remember now.
And Danny is in love with this medal.
And everything it represents.
I can't really blame him for that.
Your first husband must have been a very brave man.
No, he was.
Alan had a lot of flair.
I was very proud of him.
And I know they don't give those things away for playing games over there.
But I feel so sorry for Frank.
He just can't win in a fight against the kind of image that that medal
represents. Not in a boy's mind.
Please, Mr. Rourke.
Find our son.
Bring him home.
We're a real family.
And we love Danny very much.
We will try, Mrs. Harding.
Did you have anything else to say?
No. No.
Except... I'm sorry.
I'll find Danny.
I'm not so sure.
The island jungle is very thick and dangerous.
You forget, Mr. Rourke, I have flair.
This is what I do well.
Well, hi.
So you found me.
Yeah, and it wasn't easy.
But I'm not going back. Not ever.
Yeah, okay, listen, uh...
You mind if I sit down for one moment?
I'm really tired.
You don't mind, do you?
Thanks.
You know something?
Mother's really worried about you, you know.
So is your dad.
He's not my dad.
Yeah. She told me about the school. You don't want to go, huh?
No.
I'm tired of hearing about how bad I do in school and about how much money
Frank's spending on me and all that stuff.
God, I wish my real dad was here.
You know something?
I think if your real dad were here, he'd probably want you to go to the school.
He wouldn't have sent me away.
Things with him would have been fun.
Everything can't be fun.
You can't have everything the way you want it all the time.
Look, let me tell you about your dad.
What he was like.
I mean, he was really a good guy.
And there are times, like in wartime, you know, when you really need guys like
him.
But there are other times when you really need guys like Frank.
Listen to me.
Frank does what needs to be done, too.
I mean, maybe what he does isn't as
exciting as what your father did.
They don't give any medals for it, but in a way that makes it harder, too.
It's not the same.
Yes, it is.
If my dad was here, would he be saying what you are?
He wanted to do what was right.
Once he understood it.
And he wanted you to do what was right, too.
He wanted you to do your best to make your mother and your father
happy.
Your real dad is gone now, you know?
And... It's really important,
man, that everybody accepts that.
And that you can start it on your future, you know?
Make him proud of you.
You promise he'd want it that way?
Yeah, I promise.
Come on, son.
I demand to see the Sheik of
Karsha at once.
Who dares demand in my court?
I reign pardons on you, my lord.
I demand nothing but your august company.
Then be content, for I am here.
about to die.
To boot you.
I know all about you, little fly.
And you won't get away with it.
Before I flattened this out, it was the bedpan of the real Jake of Kasha.
This way.
Give me your hand. Give me your hand. Don't worry. Don't worry.
It'll be all right.
school right and you're gonna do your best yeah okay i think maybe we can go
fishing again someday i wouldn't bet again go bye
danny
Goodbye, Miss Rutherford, Miss Green. I think perhaps your fantasies were not
nearly so satisfying as your reality together would be.
Thanks for everything, Mr. Roark.
Perhaps I should say goodbye to the harem myself.
I wish I could have spent some time in that harem.
But nobody will believe me. And I wish you would stop feeling sorry for
yourself, Tattoo.
Boss, what is it? It's for you from all of us on Fantasy Island. You see, we
realize that sometimes the ones we love the most are the first ones we take for
granted.
It's a token of appreciation.
And respect for you, my friend.
Open it.
God!
You're beautiful!
Thank you, boss.
Thank you.
Thank everybody on the island.
It's beautiful.
Thank you.
You're welcome, my friend.
Why not take it for a spin, huh?
That's a good idea.
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