Original subtitles

Not likely, Tattoo. Not likely.

Ah, it's going to be a glorious day.

Would you permit it to be any other way?

Smiles, everyone, smiles.

We want our guests to feel welcome.

Could that be little Peter, grown so tall?

Little Peter?

Well, all things are relative, too. The last time I saw him, he was no bigger

than you.

That was at his late father's summer palace in Anatolia.

Anatolia? Then he's crowned Prince Peter.

Soon to be coronated as one of the last remaining ruling monarchs in the world.

Then he's also one of the richest men in the world.

Must your mind always work like a cash register?

I was just wondering, with all his money, why does he need us for any

For the one fantasy all his money can't buy in his world.

It's called the common touch.

The common touch?

Every nobody would like to be a prince. Every prince would like to be a nobody.

Hemingway.

Mother Goose.

the prince's bodyguard?

Oh, no, no, no, Tattoo. I insisted that the prince come to our island alone, but

you are very close to Mr. John Burke's occupation.

He is a detective on the New York City Police Department.

He looks like he's here to arrest someone.

Only himself, Tattoo. Only himself.

He's a man who wants to go back to a time when justice and law and order were

handled on a more simple basis.

And we are going to give him that chance, but...

Oh, yes, the two of we are going to give him that chance.

That and a lot more.

My dear guests, I am Mr. Rock, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Well, Mr. Burke, there it is.

Your time.

It's amazing.

How did you manage it?

There are many secrets on Fantasy Island, Mr. Burke.

And as with most secrets, the answers are sometimes best left unanswered.

Even this looks like it came from the Old West. Well, it should.

Wyatt Earp said it gave him many years of good service.

Earp said?

You mean according to legend, right?

All right, those people down there, where did they come from?

I mean, they're not robots like in that movie.

Oh, no, no, no, Mr. Berg. No, I assure you, they're quite real.

Yours is not the only fantasy about living in the Old West.

Others also long for the... Good old days.

In fact, it's our best -selling fantasy.

Some have been here for many years, others for just a few days.

What about law and order?

Is there any law there? Not yet.

Right now, that town is ruled by the six -gun.

Law and order is nothing more than a dream.

Well, how do I look?

Mr. Rock, I couldn't have asked for anything more.

Except maybe the Larson brothers, Detective Burke.

What do you know about the Larson brothers?

Oh, they've been here for two weeks.

You think the Larson brothers killed your partner, don't you?

I don't think, Mr. Rock. I know they did.

It took me a long time, but I finally nailed them.

And some judge released them on a technicality.

My partner's lying in his grave, and the Lawson brothers are walking the

streets.

I don't think, Mr. Rourke, I know they did it.

Well, if they break the law here, it will be strictly up to you, Marshal

Now remember, you are the only law that town has now. You are the police, the

judge, and jury, too.

It's your town.

Take care of it.

Your horse, Marshal Bird.

This weekend is very

important to me.

My last chance to be me.

Not a royal we, so to speak.

Now I should be a plain, ordinary, working man.

A plain, ordinary, hard -working man.

Hard work does not frighten me.

I'm sure it doesn't.

And now, if you'll please empty your pockets.

I beg your pardon?

I'm going to have to ask you for all your identification.

Well, after all, your fantasy is to try to become a plain, ordinary, working,

uh, hard.

Working man.

You can't very well do that, Peter, with papers in your pocket identifying you

as one of the handful of royal princes left in the world.

You have a very good point there.

Thank you.

You'll find your work clothes laid out in your room for you, Peter.

Oh, Tattoo, why don't you present Peter with the... Royal scepter he'll be using

during the weekend.

My pleasure, sir.

Scepter? More like a fisherman's gaff.

That's precisely what it is.

And if you know that much, at least you won't be starting from scratch.

And two cans of peaches.

And two cans of peaches. Yes, sir.

Anything else?

No, that's it for now.

Let's see.

Six dollars and fifty cents.

Just put it on my account.

You don't have an account with me.

I do now.

I don't even know your name.

Maybe you remember now.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Been a pleasure doing business with you.

You're my kind of historian.

What's going on here?

Why did you stop him? Like Jake Armstrong over at the hardware?

He tried to stop one of them last week.

Left a widow and three kids.

You people outnumber him four to one.

And you let him steal your blind.

Like I told you, none of us ever should have come here.

It was a mistake that's turned into a nightmare.

Well, maybe if you had the guts to handle punks like that, it wouldn't be a

nightmare. He'd have killed us. You saw that.

All I saw was a man bluff you in his submission. He saw that you were afraid

he took advantage of it. We're alive.

That's a certainty.

Maybe he was bluffing. Maybe he wasn't.

Right now, I'll take the certainty.

Is this whole town full of brave citizens?

What's it to you?

Like Logan says, we're just trying to stay alive.

It means losing your own personal dignity.

It's a hell of a price to have to pay.

You the new marshal?

That's right.

Name is Burke and I aim to uphold the law

You

know

Peter I was just thinking yeah, what about you

What you doing here?

Well, I'm earning a day's pay just like you.

That's just like me.

I've been doing this since I was 10.

Me too. I started young.

Not likely.

Look at your hand.

We only been out a couple hours. You got blisters all over.

You gonna work? You gonna talk?

Look. I ain't a nosy guy.

Worked a lot of deckhands.

They mind their own business, I mind mine.

Then why pick on me?

Maybe because you're different.

I still don't see why... You don't belong here. The blisters on your hands

me that.

Look, if you're in trouble, maybe I can help.

You would help me?

Stranger?

Why not?

And you should have seen their faces.

They were so scared, they were afraid to move.

So you just left, huh?

That's it. Just walked right out.

Not quite, cowboy.

I don't recall inviting you into this conversation.

So... Marshal.

Good business with me. I was in the general store when you walked out

paying your bill. You're going to jail, wise guy.

Come on!

This might be your lucky day.

Well, you gonna let him take me? This man broke the law, and he's going to

This is a wide -open town. That's why we all came here.

Oh, well, that's too bad, because this is my town now.

That's why I came here.

When anybody breaks the law, he's gonna have to deal with me personally.

Now, you can pass that along.

Let me see.

I've seen worse, but I can't remember when.

God admit it, Peter, I never thought you'd make it through the day.

To tell you the truth, neither did I.

Hey, take a break, huh?

Hi. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. That's all right. I was

looking at the view.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

Mm -hmm.

The more you look, the prettier it gets.

You work around here?

Yeah. I'm a hand on that trawler.

Oh.

I envy you.

Out at sea all day with no one to bother you.

I bet you love your work.

Mm -hmm. I do.

My name is Peter.

I'm Chris.

And my mother always told me to watch out for sailors.

You are very beautiful, you know.

Look, we were just out for a drive and my friend had a flat tire.

I just thought I'd take a walk while he was fixing it.

That doesn't make any less beautiful, even if I am a sailor.

Mom was right.

Oh, I gotta go.

Well, no, wait.

It's been nice talking to you, Pete. Bye.

Pretty, huh?

Pretty. She's beautiful.

Where do you suppose she lives, Jamie?

She's a guest at the fancy resort hotel.

I've seen her before.

How do I get there?

You don't.

Those people don't have much time for a hundred -a -week deckhand.

Just point the way, Jamie. That's all I ask.

Final drink?

Help yourself.

You haven't made yourself exactly popular in here.

I didn't intend to.

A lonely life.

Long ways to come just to be lonely.

What did you come a long way to do?

You

know

them?

Might say I've been waiting for them.

Tom, over there in the corner.

What's he doing here?

Take it easy, Ed.

There's two of us and just one of him.

Well, I don't like it.

Ed Roy, you tricked us.

Here's your drink.

Ed, nothing on his hair, Bert.

So stay loose.

That's where you're wrong.

This is my town.

You see, I'm the law here.

There aren't any soft -hearted judges or liberal DAs to take you off the hook.

I run the whole shooting match.

And you two boys are my target.

We didn't kill your partner, Burke.

I give you two days to make your move. Choose your ground.

Because if you don't, I'll choose it for you. Choose our ground for what? To

die. Because the next time we meet, that's what's going to happen.

Now, get out of here!

Hi.

How did you get here?

Believe me, it wasn't easy. I must have gone through this hotel twice before I

finally spotted you sitting here. You want to sit down?

You know, you're really incredible.

Well, thank you very much.

If you're looking for your date, I think it'll be at least ten minutes or so

before you realize that urgent message I sent him was a phony.

You?

Look, Pete, it was fun talking to you on the pier and all, but I don't think

that... Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?

No, of course not.

Why?

Well, why should I?

Well, for starters, maybe it's because nobody's ever called me Pete before.

And I want you to.

And you always get your way, right?

Of course.

Well, then this will be a first for you.

The answer is no.

and I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to please leave my table.

I don't think I'm handling this just right.

What's wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you.

It's just that I didn't spend all my savings to come to this island and this

hotel to end up with a deckhand on a fishing boat.

Wait a minute. You think I'm a fisherman?

And what are you going to tell me you are? The Shah of Iran?

Well, no, but actually I'm a...

Is money really

that important to you?

Isn't it to everyone?

And I don't like being laughed at.

Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh at you.

Well, I'm not a Shah.

I am a prince, and I'm to be crowned in a couple of months.

Let me guess.

From the smell?

Of course. You must be the next King Neptune.

I can prove it. I'll be right back. Mr. Roark? Yes? I would like for you to

explain to this young lady exactly who I am, please.

I'm sorry. I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage.

Oh, come on.

Now, it's me.

It's Peter. Prince Peter.

I'm afraid, young man, I've never seen you before in my life.

Tattoo?

He's a new one on me, bud.

Come on, you can't do this to me. You must explain who I am.

Whoever you are, we do have a dress code here, and until you are ready to comply

with it, I'll have to ask you to leave.

But this is not fair. Wait a minute. It's just not right.

I'm sorry if you were inconvenienced. They won't hurt him, will they?

Does it matter to you?

I don't like to see anyone hurt.

Oh, I see.

No, he'll be treated gently.

I hope you enjoy your evening. Excuse me.

What a young man. But you're impetuous.

Too wild.

You want to do the hassle?

Prince Peter, how are you? Oh, sure. Now you know me.

Well, of course. Why shouldn't I?

Because an hour ago you... Oh, never mind.

I have never been so humiliated in my life.

I am terminating my fantasy right here and now. Are you?

Because of that girl? Yes, I suppose she's part of it. I want back my

my identification, and my money. Oh, I'm afraid that's impossible, Peter.

Impossible.

Look, I don't mean to sound pompous, but I am used to getting what I want.

Well, in your country, I'm sure that is the case, but this is my country, my

realm, and here I am to be obeyed.

Yes, but... There are no buts about it, Peter.

Remember that you paid for three days of complete anonymity, three days of being

just an average, hard -working man.

Look, I worked on that boat today. I proved I could do that.

You have so much to learn and so little time to learn it.

But if you are to learn anything about the people you are to rule, then you

learn that it is not the physical labor that challenges the average man and

woman, Peter. No.

It's the constant assaults on their spirit they must learn to endure.

Assaults on the spirit?

Oh, yes.

The violences against the soul are the ones that hurt the most.

The dreams that slip away into middle age.

The drudgery of the same job year after year.

The day -to -day compromises. The boss who yells at you. The waiter who looks

down his nose because you were wearing the wrong clothes.

A thousand tiny attacks that people like you or I never experience.

Oh, yes.

Your fantasy was a worthy one, Prince Peter.

Or I never would have allowed it.

Because to try to become an average man is to try to become one of the most

overlooked, unappreciated, yet noblest

creatures of all.

Ah, your fishing boat pulls out at dawn.

If you are going to get any sleep at all, you better be on your way now.

I really don't know what to say.

There is one thing.

I know it sounds crazy, but... The girl. I only talked to her twice. Chris?

Yes? I really like her.

More, I think I love her.

And you're afraid she won't like you as yourself, huh?

No, I know she likes me, but the clothes, the job, I turn her off.

Miss Malone is a young girl who's had some rough years, Peter.

Her father died while she was still in high school. She had to quit to help

support her family.

Yes, I'm afraid she is determined not to get involved with a poor man.

Well, then at least I should be able to tell her who I really am.

I was under the impression you already had.

For her sake.

And yours.

If you really care for her, don't try to win her with your money and title.

Win her with your most important asset.

Yourself.

Well, that is something I never really had to do before.

Good night, Peter.

Good night.

And, um... Good luck.

Thank you.

It's me.

Me, Peter.

Go away.

I've got to talk to you.

I don't want to talk to you.

If you don't talk to me, I'll wake up the whole place.

Can't you take no for an answer?

No, neither can you.

Look, if you don't get out of here, I'm going to call for help.

It's six o 'clock in the morning.

Will you have dinner with me tonight?

Dinner? I haven't even had breakfast yet.

Look, I told you... Why a mortgage?

The best I could find.

Thank you.

Now, goodbye.

Tonight? Dinner?

Look, I appreciate the effort.

And the flowers are beautiful.

Look, look.

I know you could get me in a lot of trouble here, and I could lose my job on

fishing boat. Now, you wouldn't want that on your conscience, would you?

That's a great line.

Then you will have dinner with me?

Okay, but one condition.

After this, you'll please stay out of my life.

I'll pick you up around eight.

Marshall!

Marshall! Hey, good morning, son. What's on your mind?

It's the Larson brothers.

Larson brothers.

All right, take it easy. What are they doing?

It's Mr. Beard at the general store.

They beat him up and took his money. They started blasting up the place.

Well, I guess they chose their ground.

Any sign of Bert?

Not yet.

And where is it? Right here.

Get out of here!

That was some trap you suckered him into. We're going to get ourselves

Shut up.

We've got to get out.

The door.

Don't shoot.

Please, Bert, don't shoot me.

This time you two punks are going to jail.

Baker!

Hey, see, I told you it'd fit.

Yeah, I guess.

Sort of.

Okay, it doesn't fit so good.

It's the best I could borrow in such short notice, okay?

Hey, in case you need some extra bucks, okay?

I don't know what to say, Jamie.

Say you're going to give it back to me someday.

You're a real friend.

You're just the first real friend I've ever had.

I'll think of a way to repay you one day.

Hey, someday when you're rich, you can buy me my own fishing boat, okay?

You got it.

I thought you hadn't been in all day to eat, and I thought you might be hungry.

Thanks.

Certainly surprised a lot of people today when you didn't kill those two

Uh -huh. So I noticed.

They're holding a meeting over in the bar, a kangaroo court.

They're drinking up a lot of whiskey and getting their courage up, and then

they're going to come right over here and try to hang your three prisoners.

Well, this stew is terrific.

Thanks.

Are you going to do something about it? They intend to lynch those three men.

They deserve it, don't they?

You really don't intend to do anything about it?

Why should I?

For the same reason that you couldn't gun them down on the street this

afternoon. Because in spite of all of your hatred and need for the Old West,

you're a civilized man, Burke.

You can't do it. They haven't had a trial.

They have their rights.

Rights? What about the rights of the people that were robbed, beat up, and

killed? What about their rights?

Now, the only rights that my prisoners have is what I give them. If you let

hang, that's murder.

It's not murder. It's the law.

No, it's justice.

I'm the law.

That's the way it was done in the West.

Well, that doesn't make it right, does it? Now, look.

No, you look.

That badge you wear gives you the power to enforce the law. It isn't a hunting

license.

That's where it belongs because that's what you've made of it.

It's been a wonderful evening.

I hate to have it end.

It doesn't have to.

We're just starting to get to know one another.

That's just the trouble.

Peter, don't you see I can't?

I won't get involved.

Why?

You like me. You know you do.

Must money mean everything?

People must matter more than things.

Well, that's a lovely storybook idea, but...

It just isn't true.

If I really were a prince, as I've been telling you... Then I'd believe in Mary

Poppins and fairy tales, and we'd live very happily ever after.

Then money really is everything to you, isn't it?

When you haven't got it, it's the only thing.

I feel so sorry for you I

feel very sorry for both of us

like your fan club is coming to pay you a visit.

Burke! You can't let him get us. We've got rights.

My partner's wife and kids had rights, too.

Rights to a father and a husband.

We didn't kill him. How many times I got to tell you?

The next one won't be in the air, Marshal. We want those prisoners.

You can't do it, Marshal. You're the law.

You owe us. Oh, you what?

I don't know you a thing.

You might as well all go on home, boys.

There isn't going to be any hanging here tonight.

You can't stop us, Marshal.

Yes, I can, Mr. Logan.

And I will.

Because when I start shooting, you're the first one that I'm going to be

at.

Now, come on, boys. I'm sorry about this.

I really am.

But, uh... The law is the law.

And some fool has to uphold that law.

Now, those men in there, they're going to be held for trial.

What happens after that depends on a real judge and a real jury.

Why don't you all go on home before somebody gets hurt?

I thought the streets of New York City was dangerous, but... Where are you

Cleveland.

What did you do there?

Same thing I do here.

Do you want to come in and talk? I like the way you talk.

I don't think I'm the kind of girl you want to know.

If it weren't for you...

I'd have had them hung.

Why don't you come in?

It's kind of lonely in there. I'm tired of being lonely.

My name is Julie.

Julie.

I like that name.

Oh, I would say it's just the beginning for Mr. Burke and Julie.

Tartu, how would you like to live in the Old West, huh?

I don't think so, boss.

Nothing exciting ever happens here.

Come on, partner.

Let's go that -a -way.

Would you put the bags in the plane, please?

Thank you.

Mr. Rock, I don't know how to thank you. Oh, no thanks are needed.

I assume your fantasy was a success, Captain Burke, huh?

Yes, in more ways than one.

It's like starting all over again. I found out what it was really like to be

judge, jury, and cop all rolled into one. It's a tough road.

You might be interested then in a cablegram I received this morning. It's

your chief of detectives.

They've arrested a man really responsible for your partner's death.

What?

The Larson brothers were innocent, just like they said.

Well, of that crime, anyway.

Well, looks like I owe a certain person a lot of thanks.

Enjoy your trip.

What about the town, Mr. Rourke? Who's going to be the new marshal?

Probably will be on the next plane.

As I told you, it's our best -selling fantasy.

Well, thank you very much.

I'm sorry you feel your fantasy didn't work out, Peter.

But it did, really. I learned what I had to. I guess I can't ask for much more

than that, can I?

And you've given up hope for Miss Malone.

I had to.

Indeed.

I think we should try.

But last night you said... I know. I said a lot of things last night, Peter.

both did.

But you were right.

People do have to be more important than things.

I see that now.

I'm glad.

I stayed awake the whole night thinking of what my life would be like without

you.

I hate fish.

But I love the fishermen.

Your plane is leaving.

Oh, before I forget, Jamie asked me to express his gratitude for the new

boat you gave him. It arrived this morning.

Fishing boat?

You gave him?

I don't understand.

Explain it to her on the plane, Peter.

You'll have plenty of time.

And we expect to be invited to the wedding.

Do you think they'll be happy?

Princess Grace is.

Who is Princess Grace?

Grace Kelly, the princess of Monaco.

What's Monaco?