Original subtitles

Bye.

I'm starved.

Well, where do you want to eat?

Anywhere.

Oh, well, uh, what do you want to eat?

Oh, I don't know.

Guacamole, seasoned pilates, and refried beans.

Who is this?

It's Ms.

McAllister, ma 'am. The cleaning lady.

Uh, Mrs. McAllister, could you come back later and clean, please?

It's not the cleaning man.

I need to talk to you in the dark. It's important.

I stole her.

Just a minute.

Okay.

Mrs. McAllister, come in.

Good evening, Dr. Weston.

I'm sorry to bust in on you like this, but I didn't... That's all right. What's

the problem?

Well... Cass, stand in the chair.

Sit down.

I hate to burden you, Dr. Weston, but I got no place else to go.

Oh, don't be silly. We want her here.

It's my little boy, Leland.

He's in jail in Texas. In jail? What for?

What does it say?

It's from a cousin of mine in the Holtzville prison farm.

He said my boy Leland is in there under the name of James Smith and that he's

supposed to plead guilty to possession of drugs.

He said when he tried to talk to my boy, well, Leland pretended like he didn't

know his own cousin.

Well, Mrs. McAllister, this is...

I know, very upsetting, but what can we do?

Well, he's innocent.

My boy had to have been framed.

He don't drink, he don't smoke, he got a college education.

A boy like that don't use dope.

When's the last time you saw him?

Two years ago.

He's a salesman, see, he travels a lot.

And even though he don't write as much as he should, now, I know my boy, and I

know he didn't do what that letter said.

Have you spoken to a lawyer?

Oh, I don't have any money for that, Dr. Weston. Well, can we help in any way?

Yes, ma 'am.

Now, Dr. Weston, everybody here at the Clay Corporation knows you had this

resources thing, and that it's for folks that don't have no place else to go

with their problems.

Well... That's basically right.

I hate to ask, but if y 'all can't hit me fine what happened to my boy,

I just don't know what to do.

You are taking off to do what? I promised her. She has no one else to

And if he was framed, which is quite possible... Was there ever a man put in

jail who wasn't?

I did a spot of checking this morning. Leland McAllister had a brilliant

career, a fine service record, never as much as a parking ticket. It's not the

clay resources problem.

No? A woman who just happens to work for you is in a lot of trouble. Whose

problem is it? There are other agencies. The public defender's office.

I checked that, too. He pleaded guilty.

Oh.

Has it occurred to you that if he pleaded guilty, he probably is guilty?

Well, maybe he had no choice. Anyway, for Mrs. McAllister, I'm going to find

once and for all, and that's final.

Dan, I'm telling you, I strongly advise against this. Walter, if I can't use my

invisibility for the small guy once in a while, who can I use it for? The big

guy. Oh, you're all hard. And you're a sucker.

way, sir, but I'm afraid that it's impossible.

Well, surely, warden, you can bend the rules a little?

It has nothing to do with rules.

Personally, I have no objection to your meeting with James Smith, however he

has. Well, I'm afraid it's imperative that I meet with him.

I represent Mr.

Smith's ex -wife back in Los Angeles.

She's pressing a complaint, charging him with default of alimony payments.

I need his signature on a...

A waiver of real property so that we can get the matter settled once and for

all.

I really think that you're wasting your time, sir.

James Smith is a strange man.

He's private, uncommunicative. He's resisted every effort to assimilate into

community here.

He's refused to meet with our psychiatric social worker, our

counselor. He's even refused to meet with our parole board representative.

I just don't think that he'll agree to meet with you, do you?

Well, could you at least tell him that I'm here?

Yeah. Cool.

Millie, would you page prisoner James Smith and tell him that... Just a

You say your name, too.

Leland McAllister.

And tell him that Leland McAllister would like to see him. I'll hold.

Don't hold your breath.

James Smith, please report to the visitor. room to see Mr. Leland

What?

You sure?

Thank you.

He'll see you.

Good.

My secretary will tell you how to get to the visitor's room. Thanks a lot,

Warden.

Billy, you know that fellow who was just in here, Callister?

Do me a favor, huh? Run a complete check on him.

No, no.

Not to the FBI. Go through Dick Marks at justice.

Thank you.

Leland?

No, sir. Your name is Leland. My name is Smear.

Whatever you say.

Your mom asked me to look you up. See how you are.

Is that a fact?

Yeah, that's a fact.

She's worried sick about you.

Well, ain't no need to. I was right happy here, sir.

I've come a long way. I'd like to be able to tell her more than that.

Ain't no more to tell, sir.

Don't play games, Leland.

Well, now, you're the one that's playing the game.

I don't even know who you is.

Well, my real name is Daniel Weston. Well, now, you tell the warden that you

want somebody, and you're telling me that you're somebody else. Now, I don't

know who you really is.

Well, I am Daniel Weston.

I don't know how I can prove it to you.

What's teletransportation?

What? You heard me.

It's my method for breaking down matter into energy so that I can transmit it at

the speed of light.

And Partham?

The top secret designation for my work. Also known as?

The clay resource.

All right, Weston, now that you know that I'm all right, will you get out of

here and don't come back?

Well, isn't there something I can do to help?

Yes, you can help me by getting out of here and not coming back around here

ever.

Guard, I was ready to go back now.

Undercover. It's the only possible explanation.

He knew things that only someone with a security six clearance could know.

He's there under a phony name.

But Mrs. McAllister didn't say anything about it.

Mrs. McAllister probably doesn't know anything about it.

Sweetheart, I think you're assuming an awful lot.

Maybe you should call Walter.

What?

No, no, I'm not going to call Walter.

He asked you what?

Walter.

Walter, will you just check it out?

I need to know who Leland McAllister really is and what kind of an assignment

he's on.

All right.

But, Dan, have you stopped to think that if he is undercover, you may have blown

it? Me?

How? The warden says Smith refuses to see anyone.

Now, you go waltzing in there as Leland McAllister and Smith comes running.

Doesn't that strike you as being just a little bit odd?

Oh, what an idiot I've been.

All right, well, I've got to go and help him. Now, you just sit tight until I

get back to you. Sit tight? Well, how can I sit tight? I can't just sit here.

mean that.

I hear you.

Well, thanks, Walter.

He's going to check it out.

What do we do in the meantime?

I don't know.

Well, we've got to do something.

I know.

You wait here for his call.

When he comes through, go down to the prison farm and ask to visit with

Harry Wells.

Who's Harry Wells?

Me.

I'm breaking in to jail.

Hey, do you know where James Smith works? Who wants to know?

My name's Harry Wells. I'm new here.

A friend of Jimmy's on the outside told me to look him up.

What you in for?

Fraud. You?

Bad checks.

I was doing fine until I tried to lay one off on an ex -old lady.

Yeah, well, James Smith?

Oh, he works at the woodworking shop, that building right over there. Oh,

thanks. Uh, hey, you want a tip?

Yeah, what?

You know, keep your nose clean, follow the rule.

And this place ain't too bad.

As a matter of fact, it's better than the joints. I'll remember.

And keep away from Conner.

Conner? Who's he?

Conner's the head guard, and he's bad.

How bad?

Well, he used to work upstate in the federal pen, and they got him out of

on brutality.

What's he doing here?

He's a friend of the warden. Really?

I thought the warden seemed a pretty good guy.

Oh, sure, sure, sure.

He is making me old before my time.

Walter, he was afraid that Leland might be in danger.

Well, they're both in danger.

Now, McAllister is an agent, and he's been on this case for over a year, and

it's a big one.

Millions of dollars' worth of heroin each year are spread through the South

the Southwest.

Now, they've traced it to that prison. They think the warden's behind the whole

thing. Will you get out of here? I may have blown your cover.

Oh, just kidding. You may have blown my cover. You just figured that out, huh?

about the clay resource, you must know that I may be able to help you.

I don't want any help. I have been on this case for over a year and it's ready

to bust wide open.

My part of the job is done.

And just as soon as the busts go down, my people pull me out of here.

When's that?

I don't know. I don't want to know. All I know is that I... want to get out of

here alive, which I thought I had a pretty good shot at until you showed up.

Well, can you at least tell me what's the case?

All right.

If I tell you, will you please go?

Well, can Dan help?

The FBI's contact in Mexico has informed them that a huge drop is taking place

tomorrow at 6 in the very motel in which you're staying.

Now, the minute arrests are made, Leland will be sprung. But until that time, he

is a sitting duck.

Can you get to Dan?

Yes. Well, you tell him to get out of that prison immediately.

And Kate, be careful of that warden. He is a prime suspect.

Will do.

I'm on my way.

He just came in.

Leland McAllister, an agent of the Federal Bureau of Narcotics.

How'd you get hold of these?

I have friends in Washington.

When did he want to see James Smith for?

Smith must be his inside contact, which means he's a plant.

You call the whole thing off?

No, no, not yet.

There's nothing we can do about McAllister right now.

We can certainly fix Smith.

Get him in here, Conor.

Right.

Harry, baby.

Walter said the drop was for tomorrow at the Holtville Motel. What time?

Six o 'clock.

Even Leland doesn't know that.

I don't like screens between us.

Oh, neither do I.

I saw the warden. Luckily, he didn't see me.

Now, he's bound to spot you sooner or later. You've got to get out of here.

I'll meet you back at the motel. No, now.

I'll wait for you a quarter of a mile down the road.

Okay, I'll be out of here in 20 minutes.

Hey.

Who is Leland McAllister?

Come on, Smith. He's the only person you've seen here.

Well, to tell you the truth, sir, he was sent by my dear old ma.

He had to do with some legal stuff. It seems that McCall was repossessed.

I don't know who you are, Smith. Not yet, anyway.

But I know who Leland McAllister is.

All right, Conor, take him over to detention.

If he gives you the slightest trouble... If he zigs when he should zag, shoot

him.

Well...

Well, Smith, we got company for you.

There you go, fellas.

I can visit all you want to.

I've known you for what?

Six, eight hours, something like that.

Well, how can one man cause me so much grief in so short a period of time?

Leland. Please, it is bad enough I gotta be handcuffed to you. Let us not make

it worse by actually talking to each other.

Leland. And whatever you do, please don't tell me that you have a plan.

I don't have a plan.

I don't have a clue.

Just an extra precaution.

Right.

Take a look at these.

Look at the thumbprints on both of them.

They're identical.

James Smith is really Leland McAllister.

Well, who's Harry Wells?

I said in Harry Wells' prints.

I got that back.

Daniel Weston. Yeah, works for the Clay Corporation in Los Angeles. Runs this

thing called...

Clay resource.

I don't know what it is, but the guy's got a top security clearance.

Uh -oh.

Well, that's tricky.

Now, look, this whole thing is getting hairy.

Maybe it's not worth the risk.

Conor, we've got $5 million worth of stuff in that safe. You don't get cold

now. But what if the whole thing is being watched?

I'm sure it is. And I'm sure that they know we're making a transfer tomorrow.

So, this is why I've arranged to meet Senor Robles today.

Put these in my suitcase.

How are they getting the stuff into the country?

Easy. This place is a holding facility for illegal aliens and every week or so

they load them all on the prison bus and they take them back across the border.

And the bus picks up the stuff over there? And comes back.

across the border without having to clear customs.

That's neat.

Yeah.

How did you find all that out in here?

The prison grapevine is the greatest intelligence gathering source in the

Mr. Weston, don't you know anything?

Are you both quite comfortable?

It's the Ritz, Warden.

Well, this is a dangerous business, so you have to expect these things now and

again. What are you going to do with us?

Are you serious?

Tell him, McAllister.

Sir, we's as good as dead.

I had you checked out, Mr. Weston.

You're a rather important man.

And I assume by now, between the two of you, you know all there is to know about

my modest little side venture.

But if you assume that, you must also assume that getting rid of us isn't

to get you off the hook. What hook?

I'm making the transfer today at six, not tomorrow.

As far as you two are concerned, James Smith will be killed trying to escape.

Harry Wells, he never existed.

How can I be accused of murdering a man who doesn't exist?

Well, do we get a hearty meal?

When I return, you'll be turned over to Mr. Conner.

Gents, it's really been a pleasure having you as my guests. Thank you,

I want you to stand right by this.

These men are both very dangerous.

Yes, sir.

man, you've done it again.

This time we have really bought the farm.

Oh, don't give up.

You think he was kidding?

They're going to kill us.

Not if we escape.

Escape?

What do you think this is?

The defiant ones? Well, you ain't no Tony Curtis and I ain't hardly no Sidney

Poitier.

Leave him.

I'm going to get us out of here.

But in order to do so, I'm going to have to show you something.

You have a Captain Marvel ring.

Well, as a matter of fact, it's even better than that.

I'm all eyes.

But what I'm about to show you comes under a security 6 -9 heading.

You'll never be able to reveal it to anyone.

Cross my heart and hope to die.

Stick a needle in my eye. Now, what is it?

That's nice.

That's... That's very nice.

How'd you do that?

Come on. How'd you do that?

Keep your voice down. My gosh.

Don't be scared.

You're invisible.

Yes.

You're not just blowing my mind or something.

No.

And that's the clay resource.

Leland, we don't have time for 20 questions.

You all right?

It's pounding so fast, I can hear it clean up to my ears. Yeah.

Well, here.

Help me take off this shirt.

You mean it's not just your head?

No, it's all over.

Yes.

And your hands, too?

Yeah, come on, here.

Pull this.

Pull it through under the button.

Okay,

help me with the glove.

Okay, now the glove.

And the other one.

Hey,

wait a minute, champ.

Now, you may be invisible, but you are still attached to me, and I am still

attached to the bunk.

Trust me.

Trust you.

4 .30. I should meet him at 6, make the switch, be back here 7 .30.

Okay. The bus rolls at 8.

Got a private plane waiting for us in Juarez.

That'll take us to Mexico City. We'll make connections for South America

All right, what's going on?

Let

me

see that gun.

he get his keys?

Well, he must have about 30 keys here.

Well, I know he's got to have a key to this chain, yeah?

Yeah, well, try this one.

Nope.

Nope.

Do you want to do a little bit of that?

Here it is.

One.

Yeah, got it.

Now,

what are we going to do about these?

Kona's got the keys to these. Okay, let's go.

With these things dangling from my wrist?

Oh, well, uh, stand up.

I'm gonna rip his pants.

Hold on. Turn around.

Wait a minute.

All right.

Now, you don't think anybody's gonna notice that I got...

Two hands, one pair of handcuffs, and one torn pocket, do you? You ought to

walking. You're doing great.

You ain't.

Sir.

Are you supposed to be in solitude?

They let me off on good behavior.

You're walking like a klutz. Give me a break. It's tough to keep in step when

you can't see a part of me.

Now who's the klutz?

Who are you calling a klutz?

Believe me, sir, it wasn't easy.

You get your hands up.

I said get them up!

Step over.

One time it's done meeting its contact.

Six o 'clock.

Oh, we'd better hurry.

Yeah.

Here, hold it. Let me slide in in front of you.

Hey, how are we going to get past the gate?

Take off your cap.

Act casual.

Yeah. But,

operator, I must be

to Mr.

Carlson. It's an emergency.

Weston, my boy, you are a national treasure.

Oh, that's a nice breeze.

You know, the national treasure is cool for the first time today.

You get out of the car real slow like.

Hiya, sir. I am Leland McAllister.

Make introductions later. But first, get out of the car.

And now, listen, let me explain to you, sir. I'm a federal agent to the Bureau

of Dangerous Drugs. You're driving a prison car and wearing prison clothes.

Well, that's because I'm undercover, you see.

You're under arrest. Now, turn around.

Weston, do something.

Listen, I got a huge drug bust that's going down at 6 o 'clock. Course you

Course you have.

Weston.

Now, listen here, man.

You try it out again and I'm liable to lose my temper.

Now, get around there and put your hands behind you.

Seems like it wouldn't blow my life. Now, get out.

You get in the back of that car.

And no fooling around.

Yeah.

Randomest thing I've ever seen, Mildred.

That auto drives itself.

Walter, they're meeting in a room across the way and I never got out of Britain.

I don't know what to do.

Well, I'll never be able to get the federal agents there in time, but I can

an emergency call to the police in Holtzville.

Oh, it could be too late.

Stall them.

How? You'll think of something.

Just do it.

That's not pretty.

I'll tell you one thing.

If what he's saying is true, it'll even look awfully silly.

You can say that again.

Look here, fella, knock it off.

I ain't gonna tell you again.

Yeah, okay.

Turn it up, will you?

It's a legion.

Lady, there's no one named Murray here.

Calm down. I don't believe you. He's hiding inside.

Why don't you come in and look for yourself?

All right, I will.

Guess he's not here.

I guess not.

Where is he?

Lady, we're traveling salesmen, and we just pulled in from 12 hours on the

Now, we're having a drink.

Now, do you mind looking elsewhere for whatever his name is? Murray.

Yes, Murray.

Now, would you mind?

Please.

Mrs. Weston?

Dan, you scared me.

I'm sorry.

They're in there. I saw them. Get them to open that door.

Then I want you to go back to the room and stay there.

Yeah?

Yeah?

You real sure?

Okay.

Well?

It looks like I owe you an apology. Well, you're going to apologize later.

take these things off of me. We've got to go and make a bus.

Indeed so.

Now what?

I want to apologize for getting so upset before, but, you know, it's Murray

Eastman running around on me. He doesn't think I know anything about it. It's

quite all right, madam.

Good afternoon. No, I... Just in case you see him, please tell him that I'm

looking. Then I... Goodbye.

All right, she's gone.

Let's get down to business.

Got the stuff. I'm here in a second, please.

Let me see it.

I'm sorry. I think it jammed.

What is this, a gag?

It's no gag. Try it yourself.

I don't know what's going on here, Don, but I don't like it. I'm leaving.

Look,

I guess the hinges were jammed.

Fifteen pounds, I promise.

All right.

Okay.

Now, I would very much like to, uh, money.

Something very strange is going on here.

Robles. Let me try.

That is really beautiful.

Do you have to count it?

No, I just wanted to see it.

Then I'll be going.

Thank you.

Undo the lock.

Shut up and just help me collect it up, will you please?

Dan Weston's wife. He's been stalling him until you got here over their

roommate. All right, well, you better get back to your room.

I pulled the under arrest. Get him out!

Hey, how's it going, partner?

Well, it was the least I could do, sir.

Oh, I don't know how to thank you all for what you've done.

Don't give it another thought, Mrs.

McAllister. We try and help all of our employees in any way we can.

And you, young man, if you'd just tell me about these assignments of yours, I

wouldn't worry so.

I know, Ma, I know, and I'm sorry.

If it hadn't been for Dr.

West in here, I don't know what would have become of you.

Yeah.

Okay, Ma, let me take you home.

You know, Leland, you could have trusted me. I wouldn't have told a soul you

were a federal health inspector.

Well, you see, I couldn't take the chance, Mom. People know the federal

inspector's coming. They clean up quick and you can't catch them in the eye.

Federal health inspector?

Shh. My new cuppa.

Don't blow it.