Original subtitles

Just the one for the boot.

That one.

You know this is illegal.

Are we really going to do this?

Payback's a bitch.

Oh, come on, not again.

Here we go.

Sorry it's cold, honey.

Hot water's gone.

What a kick!

What's up?

What's wrong? Dad! What is it? That's a goal!

Hey, boys, I said no soccer in the house!

We're playing footy. Yeah, well, Angie's obsessed with football.

She likes the pink one.

Hey? She's a girl. She likes different stuff to us.

Dad.

Angie the girl.

What am I thinking?

It says here that abstaining from sex makes no difference to sperm count.

I'm thinking I might have another crack at roast chicken tonight. What do you

think?

I'm not thinking about roast chicken.

We have already been over this.

Yes, yes, you read an article.

In a medical journal with very solid evidence that abstaining is good for

motility and sperm count.

Three and a half weeks.

My swimmers are ready to lap the English Channel. My fertility window's almost

open.

Tonight, I will cook you an amazing dinner.

And then we'll make a baby.

It's nothing to be ashamed of, doll.

I'm not ashamed. I'm just a bit distracted.

That's all.

Mr. Tuck needs me in craft.

We're folding origami planes for the auction.

You do know it happens to all men at some stage in their lives.

You know Class 4W raised over 400 bucks last year?

We're trying to double that.

Just stop, okay? It's happened a couple of times now.

And I think we need to talk about it.

There's nothing to talk about.

You look a bit deflated, mate.

What's that supposed to mean?

How's the hot water?

Get a plumber.

I told you, I can fix plumbing issues. I need pink stuff.

Hey, when did your kids stop being blobs and start being, you know, girls?

Eight months, Della was reaching for the bangle. Yeah, I'm putting her in the

boys' hammy now. Well, no wonder you're having trouble.

I've got a cute little tutu and a matching fairy wand.

It's Tilda's.

Harvey, wait. Your shoe's undone.

You're tripped, sweetheart.

Can I have money for the ketchup?

I made you a sandwich. You don't like my sandwiches?

Okay. Yay!

You all right?

Loving school drop -off. What are you putting on the sandwiches?

Cheese and tomato.

Tomato. Rookie mistake.

Dog factor.

Abby, could you help with the craft today?

We're folding some origami. It's supposed to be very therapeutic.

You think I need therapy?

It's for the art auction tomorrow night. We need all the help we can get.

Sure.

So, Justin, with Angie, you sure it says the pink thing? Have you tried green?

Yep. She only wants pink.

The more frills, the better.

Girls will be girls.

Ow!

And boys will be boys.

You cheated. Shut up.

You shut up. Boys, come here.

Outside. No, you shut up. Let's go.

Lucky I've only got the girls.

Although their father's one big boy.

All those hours spent in his man shed.

Fast cars.

Golf six times a week.

Six times a week?

Oh, I'm a golf widow more weekends than not.

Mark played golf six times a week. I'd leave him.

Lucky Mark sucks at golf.

You having construction issues, mate?

This is Tilda's.

I'm helping her.

This is mine.

A strong, firm construction.

Hey, look at me.

You can't be doing that rough stuff in class, okay?

It's not fair on the other kids.

Sorry, Dad.

All right, good.

Go back and sit down.

Are you always like that?

Uh, a bit.

But it's okay. I would have expected it with what they've been through.

And you as a single parent now... Single parent?

Well, yeah, you are a... Single parent.

Yeah.

Well, you can't speak to him because he's at work. Paper towels.

Sorry, I'm not talking to you. I need some paper towels.

My name's Abby.

Abigail Albert.

Yes, I know that's not the name on the billing account, but I assure you, I

exist.

Oliver is my husband's name.

No, don't put me on hold!

Dimity.

I took your advice.

You know, you really nailed it in craft this morning.

I only meant I wouldn't put up with the whole golf thing. I didn't mean you

should actually leave him.

I haven't left him, left him.

I just need some time out.

And maybe if I'm not there, he'll appreciate me more. I'm sure he

you.

I'm not.

So you left her at home in your house by herself? She needed a lie down. What

was I supposed to do?

I need your advice. I feel partly responsible.

Only partly?

She can't stay.

She's dimity.

We have zero in common.

And I'm supposed to be opening the window for Mark tonight.

The ovulation window.

Oh. I feel like... What's going on?

Oh, nothing.

Excuse me.

Don't say anything to Mark.

Lewis is having trouble.

And we, you know... Look, he has no trouble starting up, but then he just

stalled. But he's so fit.

I don't think it's physical.

I think there's something going on in his brain, and I just... I hope he still

finds me attractive.

Oh, stop it. You're a goddess.

Okay.

That crossed my name off.

Well, you did leave, remember?

Emergency room.

Okay, what's your ETA?

Oh.

Okay, I've got to go.

Yeah, of course.

You are not touching my water heater. I can fix it. Oh, what?

Just like last time? That was Mark's fault. You're seriously blaming Mark for

this? You fixed it, Lily.

Or, uh, didn't fix it. Justin, get off the ladder. Can't have two blokes on

here. It's dangerous. You are not a plumber.

Face it.

Just like I'm not a mum.

I'm a single dad with a little girl.

What do I know about girls?

Justin?

Where do you keep the nappies?

Spare room.

The past 30?

Only pink ones.

What are your plans for the spare room?

I'm thinking fairy corner, an adult's house.

You probably think mobile and some stick -on glow -in -the -dark stars.

You with me?

You're more in touch with your feminine side than you think.

Shut up, Cate. Yeah, I like it.

Testosterone -free zone.

We should give Mark a call, see if he can spare us an hour. No, he just whines

the whole time he's not at work.

Hello?

Anyone home?

You called for a plumber? No. I did.

Got his name from the school newsletter.

He's a professional registered plumber. Runs the biggest company in the area.

It's common, right?

Do you have a scourer?

How many grime stains? It won't come off.

That's for design.

Really?

Timothy?

You need to go home and talk to your husband.

I've already tried.

When Mum said that she'd take the kids for a week, I thought, great, a chance

for us to sort things out.

He's given us a chance to play more golf.

Avoiding him isn't going to help.

Call him. Tell him you want to meet up.

I've tried to call him three times already.

He doesn't pick up for me.

Try one more time.

It's me again.

Could you call me back, please?

See? I'm the invisible woman.

Hey, you're not invisible.

You're really visible. I notice you all the time.

Before I met my husband, I was this intelligent, attractive woman.

Now I'm just someone's wife.

Someone's mother.

What you do doesn't define you. It's the other things that count.

Are you okay?

Yeah, yeah, great.

This whole swapping roles thing with Mark, it's really going well. You know,

working, me having time off to do all the things I've been wanting to do, like

cleaning and sorting clothes.

Finding pink baby gear for Justin.

Well, I've got lots of pink.

That water heater's on its last leg.

Thermostat and element are stuffed.

How much for a new one?

$1 ,500, two grand.

More if you go solar, which I'd recommend.

I've got a second -hand element in the truck I pulled off another job. You can

have that. It won't last forever, but you'll get a couple of years out of it.

Oh, yeah? How much?

You can have it for Nick.

It'll just charge you for labour.

Mate, you're a lifesaver. No probs.

I'll get back into that meeting up there.

Cheers.

Oh, Lewis, you meant to use more of a circular motion? Shut up, Cain. Don't

me how to paint.

Hi. Hey.

This is looking good.

I hear your daughter quite likes pink.

Thanks.

Deb, how did you know I was here?

Simon. This is Simon.

As in Simon, Simon.

Yeah.

I think we need to talk. Hang on, hang on.

Smitty.

You're a nut job, mate. There's always time for a game of golf.

You're talking about golf. Why haven't you taken her course?

Simon's helping Justin with the whole water system. You're giving him a really

good deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Weekend works for me.

You can't treat her like this.

We had plans for the weekend, just the two of us. Okay, look, I'll call you

back, but I'll meet you at the club at ten, all right?

Hey.

Your wife is trying to talk to you. She's not invisible.

Okay, I'm sorry. Who the hell are you? Abby.

I'm the woman who's telling you your wife wants a divorce, as of now.

Come on, Tiffany, let's go.

Excuse me?

Friend of yours?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm better than okay. I'm a divorcee, thanks to you.

Well, I'll be anyway.

About that, I may have jumped the gun.

I was upset on your behalf, and... Oh, Abby, you were fantastic.

Let me do these things. Oh, I've got it, I've got it.

It's kind of like my Everest, something I need to conquer myself.

You want it ready for when Mark gets home? You let me do it. Go on, get me an

onion.

Now, I've been so terrified of divorce, and as soon as those words came out of

your mouth, I just felt so light.

Yeah.

So you really need to think this through? We've made the right decision.

We? Timothy, I'm not really myself at the moment. I'm sort of having my own

adjustment issues. You probably shouldn't take much time with me.

You're so funny.

We, you haven't thought this through. Where will you stay?

I mean,

obviously you would be welcome to stay here, but I would love to stay with you,

Abby. Thank you.

Let's get this in the oven before Mark gets home.

Where was that onion?

Wow.

Looking great, guys.

Man, that is the ugliest doll I've ever seen.

It's belonged to Nicola.

Oh, it's lovely.

Perfect. Yeah, absolutely.

Nice unicorns.

You all done?

No, not quite. I've got to, um, pick up some parts.

I'll be back tomorrow.

I'm really sorry about you and your wife.

I hope you sort things out.

Poor guy.

Looks like the war came dead.

You're going pretty hard.

Since when do you work out?

Since before you were born.

Hey, love.

Look, the school auction is going to be a Latino theme, so there's going to be

some soul stuff.

Want to do a practice session?

I don't salsa. Well, I just thought it could, you know, loosen up our hips a

little bit.

Help us relax.

You've been a bit tense lately. I have not been tense.

Where are you going?

For a run.

Darling,

that chicken smells delicious.

Look at you.

Oh, I thought you'd like it.

Dimity.

Dimity's sort of living with us for a while.

I so appreciate it.

I thought we didn't like her. Things change.

Well, obviously. Somebody's moved into my house without me even knowing. I'm

sorry. It just happened.

She's having a terrible time. She just broke up with her husband.

It's not our problem.

It kind of is.

I sort of broke them up. You what?

I just need you to be nice to her. She's really not that bad. You'd like her if

you got to know her, maybe.

This is going to affect our window.

No, of course not.

Just me?

Not interrupting, am I? No.

Sorry. Just found dinner served.

Don't want the chicken to get cold.

Here it is, look.

See?

There.

Pink enough for you?

Yeah, I thought so.

Tomorrow, we'll move you in.

There we go.

Have you spoken to Lewis lately?

I'm kissing your neck and you're talking to me about Lewis?

Sorry.

Why?

Nothing.

He's dead.

What?

The general will kill me if I tell you.

Don't tell me.

He's having trouble in the bedroom.

The elevator's playing up.

What?

This is not my idea of foreplay.

I'm sorry.

Don't you and Gemma talk about stuff like that?

Only sometimes.

What, about us?

Never about us.

I don't believe you.

Mark. This is like Lewis's private stuff. I mean, it is... Maybe he wants

talk about it, but can't, because you both never talk about anything. Trust

He does not want to talk about it. Okay.

Shh.

Forget I mentioned it.

I don't need you to stick up for Simon, Mum. I need you to support me.

I'm your daughter.

No, but... I can't get to sleep with that

angry lady talking all the time.

Okay, up your hop.

I should go in.

Check to see if she's okay.

Just the ring, okay?

Oh, Angie, what's happened to your new room?

is that Kane's plumber took your hot water service out through the roof and

didn't replace the tyre.

So the rain's got in and soaked the plaster.

Well, what's the good news?

There isn't any.

I thought he was getting me the reconditioned hot water thing.

Yeah, well, that's what he said.

Well, why wouldn't he put the tiles back on? Well, I don't know.

But being a registered professional plumber, you'd expect better.

Kane, any ideas?

I was pretty distracted.

Come on, his wife just left him.

You think he did it deliberately?

Oh. Oh.

Sorry, I sometimes forget we've got company.

I hope you don't mind. I'm lost without my yoga. I'm just grabbing my shoes.

Sure.

Your posture's not great.

How's your back?

It's fine.

Have you ever done yoga?

No, not... no.

I could show you a few poses.

I'm fine.

No, come on. It's helped me immensely.

Okay. Hands like so, okay?

Okay.

There we go.

And up.

Ooh. Ooh.

You need to relax.

It's quite good.

Oh.

Um. Oh, we were just, um, we were at yoga.

So Mark told you about his bad back.

I've told him to stretch. I told you to stretch.

Um, we have library today.

Well, I did know that, and I'm going to make you the world's best sandwich with

yummy leftover chicken and no tomatoes.

But Timothy's already made me a wrap.

I'll get it.

My girls just love them, so I thought I'd... Look, Mom.

Yummy. Isn't Dimity nice?

Morning.

Hey, nice wrap.

Hey, we've been trying to reach your husband, but he's not returning my

Where do we find him?

I can't be late

for work. Say it again and I'll punch you.

Fellas.

Having a round?

We're hearing about the tiles you left off my roof.

The rain came in. This kid's room's wrecked. The unicorns are ruined.

Sounds like you had a shocker. What went on, mate?

My hot water's gone.

What do you want me to do about it? You took it. What are you talking about?

When you left the job yesterday.

What job?

You must be getting me mixed up with somebody else.

Steady.

This is between you and your wife. It's got nothing to do with us.

You lot put ideas into her head with all your sensitive new age bullshit.

It's not enough that I've got to work 24 -7. Now I'm expected to do craft

sessions and tuck shop duty and school drop -offs.

Look, mate, your wife just wants to spend some time with you.

See?

You have been talking to her. Mate, we've hardly spoken.

I just want my hot water fixed.

You better sort it out. Or what?

We'll get you through fair trading.

Good luck with that.

So, he stole your broken hot water tank?

Yeah. What a psycho.

You should call the cops.

Tell them what? It's his word against ours.

Was Angie's bedroom fixed at least? Yeah, we sorted it. It's just a hassle,

know.

Still no hot water.

Hello. Hi.

I'm just here to collect the wines that the pub's donating for the fundraiser

tonight. Yeah, sure.

Are you coming?

There's going to be Zolta.

It's tempting, but I don't have a babysitter. Well, I can do it.

I thought you were coming.

I should study.

It's time you had some fun.

Yeah, she's right.

We can salsa another time.

Thanks for the wine.

When are we going to play Snap?

When I finish this.

You said that like ages ago. Stop. I asked you to hang your uniform up.

We're never going to play Snap.

No. No.

You should not be cleaning up. You've been working all day.

Come on, sit down.

Beer?

Oh, no, I shouldn't. I've got sales rehearsals. Stop it.

Thanks.

Hey.

How's it going?

I was just saying that the worker deserves a nice cold beer at the end of

day.

Yeah, that's not really how we roll here.

That's how we used to roll.

Really? Is that right?

I might just leave you both to it.

I'm just saying, when you'd come home from a 12 -hour shift, I would have a

dinner coming out of the oven and I would give you a foot massage.

You want a foot massage?

No, that's what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, when you were working full

-time, I was there, you know, I was helping you.

No, don't stack them like that. If you stack the plates along there like that,

you've got more room for the bowls.

I've told you before, I have my own way of stacking.

If you want maximum efficiency... I know how to stack a dishwasher.

Um, won't you both be late for your social lesson?

Nice, Gemma.

Lovely.

Lewis, I want to see some passion.

Maybe here.

Please make an effort.

I told you I hate salsa.

Don't know why we have to do it.

Well, I'm hoping it'll help you get your mojo back.

Gemma, there's nothing wrong with my mojo.

So would you prefer it if I was just a little wifey who had the dinner on the

table every night?

Is that a trick question?

Okay, maybe you should try not to jump around so much.

I'm not jumping.

Oh, you're a little bouncy.

Lewis, come on.

Not like that. Where's your passion?

Look at this beautiful woman.

Be not careful.

One of these days, the guy's going to come along and sweep her away.

Get your hands off my wife.

Lewis. Lewis.

I think that's enough dancing for one night.

So do I.

Okay. You want to talk about it?

Talk about what?

I think you know.

Yeah, well, we should be getting along to that auction tonight.

That'd be Tom.

Thank you.

Plumbing problem.

Bugger of an issue.

Happened to me once. Really?

Frustrating. So Gemma told Abby.

What does it matter? You're a builder.

What's that got to do with it? Well, you can't expect to be 100 % with

everything.

The trick is not to stress.

Stress?

Stress with the enemy.

How did you sort the problem?

I just went away.

This is not going away.

Well, there's only one thing left to do.

Fire a plumber.

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

Plumbing problems.

Yeah, so am I. No.

Plumbing problem.

Oh, well, then I've got nothing for you.

It's Damo's fault.

I should have punched him when I had the chance and I blew it.

Pretended to be a snag.

See, there's a natural order to things. Even if nothing did happen, you find

your wife in bed with another bloke, you punch him.

I went against the primal instinct to please Gemma and now... Now you're

Sorry, I let myself in. Oh, hi.

That's okay.

What's the game, boys?

I brought some wool over. I thought maybe we could do some finger knitting.

I go first?

We can do it together.

But then how do we win?

No one wins. It's not a competition.

That's dumb.

You might be surprised.

Who wants a smoothie?

Me!

Okay, you can help me.

Go. Enjoy yourself.

Thanks.

I know you must miss being a doctor, but the work you do now, it's worth letting

you know.

Will you add up how much a cook, a cleaner and a nanny would cost?

83 ,000 to you.

83. That's very exact.

We went to a financial planner.

Had me valued.

Simon wanted to know how much to insure me for.

My allowance is a lot less.

I'm sorry? He gives you an allowance?

He cut all that off.

I thought this morning.

Stay as long as you need.

Under one condition.

Stop showing me up as a housewife.

You are pretty bad at it.

Yeah, but how could I wine?

to Nippin South's first salsa -themed fundraiser.

Can't believe he showed up.

Very soon we're going to start our famous art auction, followed by tatters.

After that, salsa.

Woo!

Thanks, Miss Luby. But now for...

the art auction. First we have PT's fabulous crane. Let's have a round of

applause for our clever children.

I have an opening bid.

$10. I have a conservative opening bid of $10.

I'd love to get that for the girl.

Bid for it.

Oh, I can't. I don't have any money.

Spiderman will have to pay.

Man hours, tip hours, $50.

$60. Now we're getting there, Miss Luby. $100.

Wow, nice to see someone who appreciates fine art. Do I have another bid?

$250.

What are you doing?

$400.

$400 to the table in front of the cranes.

What are you doing?

I'm helping the school.

Okay, so we have $400 going once. $450.

$500. Miss Luby, you are my witness.

Okay, the bid stands at $500.

Going once.

Going twice.

Going three times. And sold to the Lord of the West.

I'm not paying for that.

Well, you have the checkbook. I didn't bid.

Hey, mate.

She's your wife.

She bid for the artwork.

Cough up.

This is none of your business.

It's totally his business.

He's PNC president.

You guys are jokes.

You stand over the check, buddy.

Make me.

Hey, look, I know that it's been very tense, but let's just remember why we're

here, okay? Yeah, for the school. Stay out of my way.

Next up, we have Class 5 -H's wonderful mosaic letterbox.

Ahem, yes.

So, do we have any beds?

You shouldn't have let me punch him.

Well, that wouldn't have helped anyone.

We have to hit him where it hurts.

What does he care about more than anything in the world?

Not dimity.

I know how to get him.

Listen, I forgot to call to say how sorry I was to hear about your

And if there's anything that I can do to help...

Well, that's all.

And the window will be open.

Righto, boys, we've got some work to do.

Good luck.

Are we really going to do this?

Payback's a bitch.

Go.

And then it was the fourth hole, I think. No, wait, wait, wait. How many

are there?

Eighteen. Eighteen.

Awesome.

Here, Simon.

That's my limited -release signature driver. Where did you get this?

My husband would like a word.

Her husband and his mates have all of your clubs.

And a set of ball cutters.

And if you don't agree to their terms,

well, your putter gets it.

What do you want?

It's hot!

All up and running?

Yep. Give the man his clubs.

Feel better?

I'll pray for Gold Club for the success they've done with us. One special

undercover mission to be completed before dawn.

Keep up.

I'm trying.

You're back.

Hey, don't worry about that. I'll tidy up.

How was it? It was great.

You know, you should have been there.

School fundraiser? No, no thanks.

Don't knock it till you try it.

Someone moved the hook.

How are the boys?

Angel. Yeah, right.

We had fun.

They really like you.

I really like them.

Your boyfriend raised $500 for his cranes.

Well, I better.

Thanks again.

Demisie.

I think you forgot your jumper.

That's not my jumper.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Damn.

That's still someone's jumper.

You want a drink?

Yes.

Water would be great.

Thanks for standing up to Simon.

No worries.

It was...

This

is a bad idea.

That was really worth waiting for.

Did you take something?

Only a set of golf clubs.

Why again?

Keep up.

You giving yoga a go, are you?

I'm guiding your swimmers in the right direction.

I don't expect you to be a domestic goddess. You know that, don't you?

Just as well, because I can't cook, can't clean, can't pay bills.

And I still don't have time to play with Poppy, which is the whole reason I've

taken time off work.

Hey, I don't care if we have cheese sandwiches for the rest of our lives.

hang out with Poppy.

Really? Yeah.

You'll be back at work before you know it.

You don't get this time back.

Thank you.

I'm out of action. I'm guarding traffic.

I should go.

Do you want me to get up? No.

I don't mind. I'm good with babies. I'll do it.

What's up?

What's up, darling?

All right.

Here we go.

It's okay, honey.

It's all right, baby.

You want Dolly?

Good Dolly.

You love Dolly. It's all right,

baby.

Everything's going to be fine.

Thank you.