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Welcome back to the Movie Crypt.
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I'm the better host, Adam.
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And I'm Academy Award winner, Joe.
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Academy Award winner, bad nothing.
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00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:25,850
No. As a special treat, we thought we'd
give all you boils and ghouls a little
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00:00:25,850 --> 00:00:28,490
lesson in a horror movie essential, fake
blood.
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00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:34,350
That's right. And soon to be masters of
horror ourselves, once we make a movie.
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00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:38,530
Tonight we're going to show you how to
make your own cost -effective and highly
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00:00:38,530 --> 00:00:42,130
practical fake blood for your own
independent scarefest.
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00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:46,650
That's right. With just a few household
items, you'll be on your way to painting
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00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:50,290
the screen redder than Captain Jack
Sparrow's death in A Nightmare on Elm
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00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:53,210
Street. First up is the simple cut or
bloody wound.
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00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:57,990
Just take some basic baking items like
corn syrup, red food coloring, and corn
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00:00:57,990 --> 00:01:01,530
starch, and... Voila!
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00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,230
Instant gross!
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00:01:03,630 --> 00:01:05,129
And even better, it's edible.
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00:01:07,230 --> 00:01:11,330
Sometimes a shot calls for something a
little more over the top. Perhaps blood
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00:01:11,330 --> 00:01:14,910
spraying out of someone's mouth. Now,
you could use the same ingredients Adam
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just mentioned and add some mouthwash,
but what we've concocted tonight is the
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more classic formula used by such
groundbreaking effects artists as Dick
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in The Exorcist. By using PhotoFlow,
your fake blood will have a true opacity
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and flowing texture to it. It moves and
feels like real blood.
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00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:36,300
Now, today, people never really use
photo flow blood on living people due to
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00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:39,020
fact that it's the same chemical used to
clean film.
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Ingesting even just a little photo flow
can result in extreme diarrhea or, in
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some cases, death.
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What?
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00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:55,000
Our final example tonight, the geyser
effect.
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Let's say you're using a chainsaw and a
human body is exploding all over a room.
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For that, just take water, food
coloring, and zinc oxide and fill up a
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fire extinguisher. Now, for our
demonstration tonight, we actually
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any zinc oxide, so instead, we went full
food coloring. You'll want to be
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careful with this as to not get it on
the skin or in the eyes as it could
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a person for several days.
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Ah, you ready?
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Let's do it. Here we go.
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What? My eyes!
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That's right, folks.
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Food coloring burns.
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00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:41,530
Now, for effect, tonight we use
methicill in our spray. But you need to
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00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:44,810
careful, because methicill can be
insanely slippery.
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Little known fact, methicill is the same
ingredient used in KY jelly and other
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sex lubricants.
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00:02:52,750 --> 00:02:56,530
Now you're ready to make your own gory
horror flick, and maybe have some great
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summer camp style sex at the same time.
But now, back to William Lustig's
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Maniac, here on The Movie Crypt.
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It burns!
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Academy Award winner, my ass.
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I'm in debt.
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00:03:15,550 --> 00:03:16,610
I regret.
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00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:20,070
And I haven't won the lottery yet.
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That burns.
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Into the hole.
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I ain't got no place to go.
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Why doesn't anybody want me?
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Why doesn't anybody need me?
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00:03:41,270 --> 00:03:48,050
I had to aim the fake
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00:03:48,050 --> 00:03:51,970
blood in my eyes. You let me put film
cleaner in my mouth.
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00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:53,320
It wasn't on purpose.
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00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:56,760
You were supposed to make the fake blood
from scratch. That was the whole point.
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I wasn't going to pay for all those
ingredients.
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Water, cornstarch.
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00:04:01,940 --> 00:04:02,940
What am I, made of money?
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00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:27,220
We make it big, we're moving.
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00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,800
I call dibs on the shower first. Whoa,
whoa, whoa, hold up.
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00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,019
Are you kidding?
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What? Look at me?
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Yeah, but you take forever. I'm quick.
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00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,640
It's called manscaping. You should try
it sometime, Afro nuts.
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00:04:40,740 --> 00:04:42,260
I'm not standing in your fluff.
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I have toxic blood all over me, huh?
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So have Axel lick it off.
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He won't mind. He eats light bulbs, for
Christ's sakes.
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Touché.
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00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,910
Axel. Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss,
puss, puss.
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Cat.
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Axel.
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Axel, buddy.
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Did you leave the sliding door open?
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No.
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Yes.
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He's a mentally challenged cat.
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He can't fend for himself outside.
What's wrong with you?
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00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,940
Mentally challenged? We can't say
retarded anymore?
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The network decided that they don't like
that word.
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00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:41,020
Whatever! I always leave the sliding
door open. It's not like he knows the
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difference between open and closed.
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You're helping me find him.
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Fine. I'll help you find your brain
-dead cat.
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What single guy keeps a cat these days
anyway?
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Might as well have a hamster.
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I had a hamster.
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Somebody left the sliding door open,
remember?
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Will you let it go already, dude? Just
let it go.
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Poor Horace Pinker.
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00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:07,900
Little guy never stood a chance. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Come on, come on, come on.
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Hamster's been gone for a year. He's not
coming back.
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You don't know that.
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I mean, we're out here looking, right?
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I just miss him so much.
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Wait.
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Did you hear that?
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Down there.
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What?
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Oh, dude, right there.
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Axel!
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You know...
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Maybe it'd feel more comfortable coming
back to you if you didn't verbally
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sexually assault it.
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Axel, come here.
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Come here, cat.
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Yeah, that's working. Come here.
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Come here. Come here, you cat. Are you
sure that's him? Come here, you stupid
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animal. It kind of looks like a skunk.
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Wouldn't be the first time.
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They're kind of like Bert and Ernie,
only they dress slightly better and I'm
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sleeping with Bert.
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That's right, Cory.
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You slept with Ernie.
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You slept with Ernie.
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Oh my god, are you guys okay?
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What happened?
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Do you need to hide a body?
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We got skunked.
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Again? What do you mean? again.
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When have we ever gotten stunk before?
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Just checking.
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I think I'm gonna toss.
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Dude, if you puke in this tub with me in
it, I will stab your eyes out.
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You made me drink Photo Flow.
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You drink Film Clear?
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Why would you do that?
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Joe, if you needed beer money, I could
have helped you out.
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It wasn't to get drunk. It was an
accident.
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But do you have ten bucks?
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Please.
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Help us.
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What do we get? What do we get? Tomato
juice?
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No, no, no, no. Vinegar works faster. Do
you guys have any vinegar in the
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apartment? Do you have any idea how
expensive vinegar is?
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Three bucks.
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They don't have vinegar.
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Okay, look. Laura and I, we're going to
go to the store. We're going to get the
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vinegar. You guys just stay right here.
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I don't know which end it's coming out
of, but that photo pole's coming back
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fast.
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Dude, do not toss it. Do not puke in
this tub.
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Time to go.
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Wait. Did you want to hear about my day?
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Not now, babe.
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Always about you.
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Where are we going to find vinegar in
Holliston at midnight?
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Cumberland Farms is open 24 hours,
right?
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What time does Market Basket open?
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You mean Market Basket?
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Market Basket.
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00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,740
No, the emphasis is on Market.
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Market Basket.
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Market Basket.
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No, Market Basket. Market Basket.
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Market, market, basket.
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Market, market, basket.
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00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,080
No, say market, market, then basket.
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00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,180
Market, market, basket.
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It's market, basket.
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Market, basket.
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00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:12,000
Market, market, market, basket.
168
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Market, market, market, basket.
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Try whispering basket.
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00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:18,480
Market, basket.
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00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:21,660
The emphasis isn't on basket. Do you
know what emphasis means?
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No. So say the first part loud.
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00:10:24,660 --> 00:10:25,660
Market loud.
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What is this about market basket?
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00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,800
Market basket. Market basket.
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Just repeat after me. Market basket.
Market basket.
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00:10:33,020 --> 00:10:38,900
No, use your inside voice. Like, use
your... Basket!
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Sorry, dude. Just don't.
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Okay.
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I think it might pass out.
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00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,400
You're not going to pass out.
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Deep breath deep breath
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even close.
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00:11:44,210 --> 00:11:46,970
Uh, excuse me, do you guys have any more
vinegar out back?
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00:11:47,870 --> 00:11:50,110
Uh, there is no out back.
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What you see is what we've got.
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Satan.
188
00:11:56,650 --> 00:12:00,970
What about salad dressing? Salad
dressing is vinegar, right? Yeah, it
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not enough.
190
00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:04,590
Besides, we're trying to neutralize the
odor, not marinate it.
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00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:06,810
Well, we tried.
192
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:09,150
It's not our fault those two douches got
skunked.
193
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:10,990
Wait, that's it.
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00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:13,140
Feminine wash.
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00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,200
Yes.
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00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,220
Feeling not so fresh?
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00:12:19,580 --> 00:12:21,520
No, no, douche is almost all vinegar.
198
00:12:22,180 --> 00:12:26,880
See, that's why you're a nurse and I'm
an artist. You're smart at useless
199
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,160
I'm cute, talented, and fun to be
around.
200
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:30,420
I win.
201
00:13:13,450 --> 00:13:14,450
I got skunked.
202
00:13:14,990 --> 00:13:17,570
Why would you want to go and do
something like that?
203
00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:19,350
It was an accident.
204
00:13:20,410 --> 00:13:22,110
We were trying to find Axel.
205
00:13:22,670 --> 00:13:24,170
You smell rank.
206
00:13:24,450 --> 00:13:29,970
Kind of like a sewer rat feasting on the
remains of a dead pregnant cat.
207
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,370
I know.
208
00:13:31,470 --> 00:13:32,950
But we... Wait.
209
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:35,850
Why did the dead cat have to be
pregnant?
210
00:13:36,390 --> 00:13:38,530
I don't know. It just was.
211
00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:40,310
But that's sad.
212
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:42,570
All right.
213
00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:44,740
It's just a dead cat.
214
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,100
What am I going to do, Odorous?
215
00:13:47,980 --> 00:13:53,580
Well, on my planet, we do have a saying
for... Well, actually, no, we don't have
216
00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:54,580
a saying for this.
217
00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,820
I need to get the smell off of me. Help!
218
00:13:57,820 --> 00:13:58,820
Yeah,
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00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:00,560
very well.
220
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:02,700
Hey, what are you doing?
221
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,860
I'm going to pee on you.
222
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,200
But that's your jellyfish thing.
223
00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:09,640
Yes, gums get vinegar.
224
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:11,800
Then why were you going to pee on me?
225
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,240
Why not?
226
00:14:13,880 --> 00:14:15,780
The girls already went to get vinegar.
227
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:17,260
Oh, fine.
228
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:21,120
If you don't need me, I'll just go back
to my closet.
229
00:14:21,580 --> 00:14:22,640
Wait, no, no, no, stop.
230
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:26,700
Please. Just stay here and hang out with
me. Keep me company.
231
00:14:27,140 --> 00:14:28,140
Please.
232
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:30,600
No.
233
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:34,520
Fairweather's friend!
234
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:36,580
Where am I?
235
00:14:37,420 --> 00:14:38,420
Oh, good.
236
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:39,640
You're back.
237
00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:44,389
Oh, yeah.
238
00:14:44,390 --> 00:14:45,970
I kind of puked in the tub.
239
00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:02,810
This joke writes itself.
240
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:04,990
I'm kind of a hurry, if you don't mind.
241
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,310
Feeling not so fresh?
242
00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,570
I already wrote that joke. Thanks.
243
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:13,560
I think I'm just trying to... Lighten
the mood, right? I mean...
244
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:20,440
It's all right.
245
00:15:28,940 --> 00:15:30,560
It's like the old Nintendo games.
246
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:36,780
Hold on a second.
247
00:15:46,860 --> 00:15:51,120
Bottom leaves, two units, five ounces.
248
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:58,320
There's two girls up here and they're
getting like 15 boxes of douches.
249
00:15:59,860 --> 00:16:06,680
That's like seven and a half boxes of
douches per girl, so that's like,
250
00:16:06,820 --> 00:16:11,940
I don't know, do you split a douche? I
think he got it.
251
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:16,600
ladies up to tonight?
252
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,220
Watching our star like pits.
253
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:20,480
What's your name?
254
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,780
They didn't give me a name.
255
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,040
Just clerk.
256
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,960
Really? That sucks for your credits.
257
00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:32,380
Yeah, I know, but I figure when I update
my resume, I'll just make up a name.
258
00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:34,880
I was thinking Detective McManus.
259
00:16:35,260 --> 00:16:36,260
Detective?
260
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:37,920
That's awesome.
261
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,480
That totally sounds like a lead. Oh
yeah, definitely.
262
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,020
At least a co -star. Hey, clerk.
263
00:16:42,490 --> 00:16:45,290
Did you say morning paradise or island
splash?
264
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:47,710
I said autumn leaves.
265
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,590
Oh.
266
00:16:49,950 --> 00:16:50,950
Hold on.
267
00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:53,050
Hey, babe.
268
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:56,050
Feeling not so fresh? Actually, I am
very fresh.
269
00:16:56,310 --> 00:17:01,090
Yeah, I am. My vagina, it smells like a
mixture of high school and a brand new
270
00:17:01,090 --> 00:17:02,510
action figure right out of the package.
271
00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:06,050
In fact, it might just smell like the
freshest thing you've ever smelled in
272
00:17:06,050 --> 00:17:06,769
whole life.
273
00:17:06,770 --> 00:17:08,670
Only you never know for yourself.
274
00:17:09,290 --> 00:17:10,290
Now.
275
00:17:13,069 --> 00:17:13,669
My purchase?
276
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:15,690
Step right up and say it now, bitch.
277
00:17:17,250 --> 00:17:19,790
That's $5 .99 on the odd leaves.
278
00:17:20,190 --> 00:17:21,190
Thank you.
279
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:22,450
Thank you.
280
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:24,609
You're welcome.
281
00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:27,650
Get that vagina.
282
00:17:30,730 --> 00:17:33,870
You're bad at going... Bad.
283
00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:36,310
Bad.
284
00:17:40,150 --> 00:17:42,050
Before you pass out again.
285
00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:46,390
I drained the tub, and I added fresh
water, so it's cool.
286
00:17:46,890 --> 00:17:47,890
Oh, thank God.
287
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:49,570
I even added bubbles.
288
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:51,290
A delightful touch.
289
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:54,950
You could have warned me that you had
taken off your boxers.
290
00:17:55,890 --> 00:17:56,970
You left yours on?
291
00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:58,910
Um, yes.
292
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:02,730
Sorry, I mean, at this point, screw
modesty, right?
293
00:18:03,590 --> 00:18:09,450
Oh, I can't see the clock, but it feels
like the girls have been gone for like
294
00:18:09,450 --> 00:18:10,089
an hour.
295
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,310
I'm sure they'll be back in a minute.
They're fine.
296
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:16,930
Okay, let's get our minds off of it.
297
00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:18,490
Let's talk about something else.
298
00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:25,850
Okay. What? Remember the time in sixth
grade when Scott Barnes threw up all
299
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:26,850
the Ferris wheel?
300
00:18:27,130 --> 00:18:28,930
It was great.
301
00:18:34,290 --> 00:18:35,370
Something else.
302
00:18:36,570 --> 00:18:39,370
Top three John Carpenter flicks. Go.
303
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:48,539
Rents of darkness.
304
00:18:48,540 --> 00:18:49,540
Nice.
305
00:18:50,180 --> 00:18:53,580
And the... They live?
306
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:55,660
Spit it out, man!
307
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:01,520
Well,
308
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,940
at least this night can't get any worse.
309
00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:08,940
Stop right there, ladies.
310
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:11,840
Thanks for the tip, clerk.
311
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,400
You're welcome, police officer number
one.
312
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,260
Actually, it's officer Pappas.
313
00:19:16,899 --> 00:19:17,899
Lucky.
314
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,560
What exactly do you girls think you're
doing here?
315
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:21,980
They'll never take us alive.
316
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,240
Run!
317
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:25,080
Calm it down, miss.
318
00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:29,820
Look,
319
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,240
what are you ladies doing with all this
feminine hygiene product?
320
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,519
Oh,
321
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:38,480
our friends got skunked in the store
without a vinegar.
322
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:40,440
Vinegar, really?
323
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,200
I'm a registered nurse. I know these
things. This is profiling and you know
324
00:19:44,260 --> 00:19:46,760
Ladies! I'm afraid we're going to have
to take you down to the station.
325
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,900
What? I don't understand.
326
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,540
We've been monitoring the area for an
alleged brothel.
327
00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:54,800
Brothel? That's French for whorehouse.
328
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,920
Pass over the douche and let's go.
329
00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,120
Come on.
330
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:00,500
Today. Let's go, ladies.
331
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:04,740
I'm feeling so fresh.
332
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,160
Been at least three hours by now.
333
00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:22,280
They left us.
334
00:20:22,460 --> 00:20:23,660
They didn't leave us.
335
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,780
Well, they definitely forgot about us.
336
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:29,100
All right, maybe they forgot about us,
but they definitely didn't leave us.
337
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:32,680
What's the difference?
338
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,020
I'm working on it.
339
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:38,300
We might die in here.
340
00:20:39,460 --> 00:20:40,880
In the bathtub together.
341
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,360
What are my parents going to say?
342
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:45,940
We're not going to die.
343
00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:50,720
Maybe we'll be permanently scarred, but
we won't die, okay?
344
00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:55,860
If we do die, something I've never told
anybody before.
345
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,880
In fourth grade, I punched Kyle
Snodgrass in the face at recess.
346
00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:06,980
I fled, kid.
347
00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:10,080
He kept giving me nasty looks.
348
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:12,160
He was blind.
349
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,280
I know.
350
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,190
But it was the only fight I ever won.
351
00:21:21,690 --> 00:21:24,310
Okay, your turn.
352
00:21:25,570 --> 00:21:26,570
What?
353
00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:29,090
You confess something now.
354
00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:34,430
No.
355
00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:38,290
You don't have a single embarrassing
moment to share?
356
00:21:38,850 --> 00:21:40,770
No, I'm just not taking any part of
this.
357
00:21:43,490 --> 00:21:45,870
Can I take the Snodgrass story back? Too
late.
358
00:21:54,959 --> 00:21:56,180
One more time from the beginning.
359
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,920
We already told you our friends got
skunks, so we got some douche to get it
360
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:01,599
of them.
361
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,940
And where are the friends?
362
00:22:04,900 --> 00:22:05,900
In their apartment.
363
00:22:05,980 --> 00:22:06,980
In the bathtub.
364
00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,620
Together? Yes!
365
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,020
Now for the last time, we don't know
anything about a brothel.
366
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,040
Okay, one more time then. Who exactly
are these friends?
367
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:19,060
One of them is my boyfriend, the other
one is her ex. Don't I get the last meal
368
00:22:19,060 --> 00:22:20,060
or something?
369
00:22:21,380 --> 00:22:22,620
That's for people on death row.
370
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,860
What? I want my phone call. I need a
phone call.
371
00:22:29,220 --> 00:22:30,800
Ladies, you're not under arrest.
372
00:22:32,300 --> 00:22:33,740
I'd like to speak to my lawyer.
373
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,480
Really? Yeah.
374
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:36,680
All right.
375
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,580
Let's call him up right now. What's that
phone number?
376
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,660
617 -8912.
377
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:46,560
12.
378
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,040
It's not even a number.
379
00:22:51,340 --> 00:22:52,940
I don't really have a lawyer.
380
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:57,810
Yeah. And you don't really have friends
in a bathtub waiting for vinegar, do
381
00:22:57,810 --> 00:22:58,890
you? Oh, this is ridiculous.
382
00:22:59,390 --> 00:23:01,230
I told you we should have got a market
basket.
383
00:23:03,070 --> 00:23:04,070
Market basket.
384
00:23:04,230 --> 00:23:05,230
Market basket.
385
00:23:05,290 --> 00:23:08,330
No, market, not market. Basket. Market
basket.
386
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:09,529
Market basket.
387
00:23:09,530 --> 00:23:10,530
Whisper the basket.
388
00:23:10,610 --> 00:23:11,489
Market basket.
389
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:15,310
No, loud whispering. What's with the
loud whispering? It's market basket.
390
00:23:15,310 --> 00:23:19,550
basket. No. Excuse me. Actually, the
inflection would be on market. So we're
391
00:23:19,550 --> 00:23:21,570
like market basket. See? Market basket.
Market basket.
392
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,200
for this this time. Madame Samantha's
going to take the fall.
393
00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:47,980
Madame who?
394
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:53,740
I don't know the street name or
anything, but I can take you there if
395
00:23:53,740 --> 00:23:54,920
us to show you where it is.
396
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,040
Great. Let's go.
397
00:24:00,500 --> 00:24:04,460
I suggest you cuff us first so that we
don't jump out and run like last time.
398
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:09,440
And you might want to put a Hannibal
Lecter mask on this one.
399
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:16,660
Yeah, I don't... I don't know her.
Whatever, Kaiser Sosa.
400
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,620
Actually, Kaiser Sosa.
401
00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:20,900
Whatever.
402
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,320
One,
403
00:24:30,780 --> 00:24:35,740
two... Ooh!
404
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000
Your turn.
405
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:42,200
I don't like this game.
406
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:43,560
Go!
407
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:53,480
What now?
408
00:24:54,140 --> 00:24:55,560
Are we out of things to throw?
409
00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:58,400
Let me check.
410
00:25:02,860 --> 00:25:04,040
Empty. You?
411
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,400
Let me check.
412
00:25:08,940 --> 00:25:10,460
Whoa, look what I found.
413
00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:24,010
six degrees of Robert Englund. No
thinking games right now, okay?
414
00:25:24,810 --> 00:25:26,950
What if the girls got into a horrible
car accident?
415
00:25:27,950 --> 00:25:30,510
Way too serious of an event for the
third episode.
416
00:25:31,590 --> 00:25:33,350
When did Jesse get addicted to speed?
417
00:25:34,130 --> 00:25:36,130
That was like season two, episode nine.
418
00:25:36,470 --> 00:25:39,090
And when did Zack and Screech get into
that drunk driving accident?
419
00:25:40,550 --> 00:25:42,590
Season four, episode ten, dude.
420
00:25:42,970 --> 00:25:44,150
I guess you're right.
421
00:25:46,110 --> 00:25:47,110
Without food?
422
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,600
This is going to turn into our own
version of Cannibal Holocaust.
423
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:53,220
How could you?
424
00:25:54,120 --> 00:25:55,240
Get out of the tub.
425
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:56,560
What are you, crazy?
426
00:25:57,340 --> 00:25:59,940
At this point, what is sitting in here
even doing for us?
427
00:26:01,460 --> 00:26:03,740
So you're just going to get out?
428
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:05,660
Well, yeah.
429
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,660
Fine. What?
430
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:10,940
Just go. Get out.
431
00:26:20,169 --> 00:26:22,550
Why cuz you're leaving me in here to go
it alone.
432
00:26:23,350 --> 00:26:27,850
No because I'm not wearing any boxers
I'll look away
433
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:05,760
The hell was that? What?
434
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,000
I decided to stay.
435
00:27:07,220 --> 00:27:08,220
It was cold.
436
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,500
But you couldn't put on some boxers
first?
437
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,200
Is this
438
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:24,540
it?
439
00:27:25,420 --> 00:27:26,500
The girls are all in back.
440
00:27:29,220 --> 00:27:30,220
Alright, you can come in.
441
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:35,160
Where's everybody?
442
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,500
I don't know what that means.
443
00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:40,539
In back.
444
00:27:40,540 --> 00:27:41,540
Oh, yeah.
445
00:27:41,620 --> 00:27:42,620
Oh, wait.
446
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:48,160
No funny business now.
447
00:27:48,580 --> 00:27:49,539
Yeah, Corey.
448
00:27:49,540 --> 00:27:50,540
Be cool.
449
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:52,400
Shut up, Laura.
450
00:27:55,220 --> 00:27:56,740
My God, it stinks in here.
451
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,400
That's the smell of sluts and the stink
of sin.
452
00:28:00,140 --> 00:28:01,140
Let's go.
453
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,320
Holliston Police!
454
00:28:04,660 --> 00:28:06,860
Hello? The cops are here?
455
00:28:07,100 --> 00:28:08,680
Bulls! What did you do?
456
00:28:09,060 --> 00:28:10,420
Nothing! Wait.
457
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,280
Nothing!
458
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:14,100
Did you pay that parking ticket?
459
00:28:16,220 --> 00:28:19,820
Uh... Hello?
460
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:23,680
Oh.
461
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:29,060
This is Officer Pappas. We got a
possible double homicide at 7 Francine
462
00:28:30,220 --> 00:28:31,640
What the hell have you done?
463
00:28:32,899 --> 00:28:34,500
Both of you, on the ground right now. On
the ground!
464
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:37,940
They weren't dead when we lost, I swear!
465
00:28:38,620 --> 00:28:40,000
Stay on the ground, you psycho!
466
00:28:40,780 --> 00:28:41,940
They can't be dead.
467
00:28:42,300 --> 00:28:43,320
You think what I'm thinking?
468
00:28:43,620 --> 00:28:44,620
That was suicide?
469
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:45,700
Just like last year.
470
00:28:46,060 --> 00:28:49,320
Two lovers, off themselves because their
parents wouldn't accept it.
471
00:28:49,620 --> 00:28:50,820
They weren't that gay.
472
00:29:11,210 --> 00:29:15,310
The girls went to the store to get some
vinegar and apparently picked up a
473
00:29:15,310 --> 00:29:16,310
couple of cups.
474
00:29:17,210 --> 00:29:20,170
Looks like Corey played dress -up again.
475
00:29:21,310 --> 00:29:23,610
Can I please get out of this thing now?
476
00:29:24,050 --> 00:29:25,290
Yeah, sorry about that.
477
00:29:26,490 --> 00:29:31,090
So, uh, you're telling me there's no
whorehouse?
478
00:29:31,690 --> 00:29:33,890
No, there isn't. I just wanted to stop
by here first.
479
00:29:34,530 --> 00:29:36,910
You know what obstruction of justice is?
480
00:29:37,170 --> 00:29:40,570
You ever hear of wrongful detainment and
sexual harassment?
481
00:29:40,940 --> 00:29:42,100
Sexual harassment.
482
00:29:42,380 --> 00:29:44,700
Oh, officer, I'm only 14.
483
00:29:45,300 --> 00:29:46,840
Dude, what are you doing?
484
00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,040
I didn't do anything.
485
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:51,200
Yeah, well, there's one witness right
here.
486
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,340
And another right here.
487
00:29:53,620 --> 00:29:55,120
Yeah, another witness right here, too.
488
00:29:55,380 --> 00:29:56,380
What?
489
00:29:56,860 --> 00:30:00,980
Okay, everyone just stop. This is very,
very confusing.
490
00:30:02,140 --> 00:30:03,920
We're out of here. Let's just get out of
here.
491
00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:08,740
There are two bloody dudes in the
bathtub. This place smells horrible.
492
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:10,940
There's probably some sort of crazy
alien under the bed.
493
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:12,920
He's in the closet.
494
00:30:14,540 --> 00:30:19,200
We're very sorry for the disturbance.
We'll let you guys do whatever it was
495
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:19,739
were doing.
496
00:30:19,740 --> 00:30:24,200
Hey, about earlier, the whole restraint
thing, I sincerely want to apologize
497
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:25,099
about that.
498
00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:26,100
Oh, you're sorry?
499
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:27,360
Oh, that sounds sweet.
500
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:29,240
Go screw yourself!
501
00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:33,760
That's fair.
502
00:30:38,090 --> 00:30:39,370
Okay, what the hell was that?
503
00:30:39,810 --> 00:30:41,490
Don't ask. It's all fine now.
504
00:30:41,970 --> 00:30:42,970
Not really.
505
00:30:43,690 --> 00:30:44,970
Axel is still missing.
506
00:30:45,890 --> 00:30:49,090
Axel? He's in Joe's room. I locked him
in there when I vacuumed earlier.
507
00:30:50,550 --> 00:30:52,290
What? We have a vacuum?
508
00:30:53,750 --> 00:30:54,750
Well,
509
00:30:55,550 --> 00:30:56,550
did you at least get the vinegar?
510
00:30:59,390 --> 00:31:00,390
Oops.
511
00:31:01,490 --> 00:31:03,470
Screw this. I'm getting out of the tub.
512
00:31:26,350 --> 00:31:27,570
The water's really cold.
513
00:31:37,610 --> 00:31:39,250
Good evening, Hollis Day!
514
00:31:41,230 --> 00:31:42,570
Hey, Lance. Hey, boss.
515
00:31:44,210 --> 00:31:45,210
What's that smell?
516
00:31:47,050 --> 00:31:50,010
I think it's me. Ten shows in a row,
same pants.
517
00:31:50,990 --> 00:31:53,070
Got everything you need for that Medway
mattress commercial?
518
00:31:53,530 --> 00:31:54,870
Yep. Leaving for the shoot now.
519
00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:58,320
Go like this.
520
00:31:59,300 --> 00:32:00,300
Yo!
521
00:32:00,740 --> 00:32:01,760
Watch the glitter.
522
00:32:02,100 --> 00:32:03,100
Your face.
523
00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,620
Oh, just a little leftover fake blood.
My bad.
524
00:32:07,820 --> 00:32:09,740
You guys are your horror movie crap.
525
00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:11,280
You'll grow out of it eventually.
526
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:16,680
Funny. Some people said that about fans
of Cinderella and Pretty Boy Floyd.
527
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:18,280
Yo!
528
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:20,040
Watch what you say about PBS.
529
00:32:21,540 --> 00:32:22,540
Sorry.
530
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:24,360
So what are you guys doing after the
shoot?
531
00:32:24,980 --> 00:32:29,640
Oh, I've got a bone marrow transplant.
I'm not asking you to come to a Diver
532
00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:30,640
Down show.
533
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:34,360
Oh, well then, um, in that case, I don't
know what I'm doing. Why?
534
00:32:34,900 --> 00:32:39,720
Listen, you can't tell anybody, but I
know about this place in Holliston.
535
00:32:40,740 --> 00:32:41,740
It's top secret.
536
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:44,700
We can get things.
537
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:48,980
Like, um, hmm, spandex pants?
538
00:32:49,380 --> 00:32:51,580
Oh, no, I got these at Filings Basement.
Check them out.
539
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,320
No!
540
00:32:53,550 --> 00:32:55,010
I'm talking about sexual things.
541
00:32:55,650 --> 00:32:56,730
What do you mean?
542
00:32:57,030 --> 00:33:00,770
You know, like girls, guys.
543
00:33:03,310 --> 00:33:04,810
Anything you want.
544
00:33:05,470 --> 00:33:11,150
And out of that list, which of those
things would you want?
545
00:33:11,530 --> 00:33:14,670
I want it fast and hard like my rock and
roll!
546
00:33:15,030 --> 00:33:16,030
Yeah!
547
00:33:16,890 --> 00:33:22,450
No, like this place. It offers both
girls and...
548
00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,360
Guys, so... Exactly.
549
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:27,880
Woo!
550
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:35,020
We're off that lamp, but thanks. You
dudes are so lame.
551
00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:39,060
You know, sometimes I wonder about you
two.
552
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:47,080
Whatever, dudes.
553
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,660
We'll rock and roll all night without
you. Wait, me?
554
00:33:51,980 --> 00:33:55,560
Yeah, I met some dudes at Casey's who
were in on it and liked the party. I'm
555
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:56,560
going with them.
556
00:33:56,700 --> 00:34:00,360
Um, be careful, boss. Yeah. Oh, I'll be
careful.
557
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:02,120
But I won't be quick.
558
00:34:02,400 --> 00:34:03,880
Yeah! Watch out!
559
00:34:04,140 --> 00:34:05,140
Step back!
560
00:34:05,340 --> 00:34:07,480
You got, you got, you got what I need!
561
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:09,040
Woo!
562
00:34:12,500 --> 00:34:14,020
You boys are right on time.
563
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,820
Take us to the promised land, baby.
564
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:18,219
Yeah, heavy metal.
565
00:34:19,860 --> 00:34:21,000
Follow Dr. Love.
566
00:34:39,050 --> 00:34:40,850
So we can make it.
40765
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