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00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:12,210
Welcome back to The Movie Crypt with
Adam and Joe.
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00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:16,450
Now, before we get into the terrifying
conclusion of tonight's feature film,
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00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:20,210
Sematary, I gotta ask, Adam, what do you
think is the absolute most terrifying
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00:00:20,210 --> 00:00:22,330
scene in the movie? Oh, that's easy.
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00:00:22,730 --> 00:00:23,730
Zelda.
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Scariest thing ever.
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Ever? Ever. Oh, hell yes.
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We're coming for you, Rachel.
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And this time, I'll get you.
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Gage and I.
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We'll get you.
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Probably the most traumatizing thing for
my youth.
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00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:45,800
Even more traumatizing than the time
when Maureen Lipschitz told our entire
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00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,760
senior class about your premature
finish, and then the nurse had to send
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00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:50,760
home because you couldn't stop crying.
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00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:55,340
That's not what happened.
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Maureen Lipschitz did kind of look like
Zelda the more I think about it.
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00:00:58,980 --> 00:01:02,940
Lipschitz didn't look anything like
Zelda. Now, let's roll into the final
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00:01:02,940 --> 00:01:06,640
and the terrifying conclusion of Pet
Sematary.
20
00:01:07,210 --> 00:01:11,130
You look like Zelda. We'll see you next
week on The Movie Crypt.
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00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:13,290
Mwahahahaha!
22
00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:15,430
Come on, dude.
23
00:01:16,930 --> 00:01:19,610
Mwahahahaha! Hope you die.
24
00:01:57,440 --> 00:02:01,120
You had to bring up the whole lip shit
thing. It was funny.
25
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,320
Yeah, it was wicked funny, dude.
26
00:02:03,820 --> 00:02:06,260
The worst thing that's ever happened to
me.
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00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:12,080
The event that cost my parents six years
of hypnotherapy, and you share it with
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everybody in the state of Massachusetts.
Thank you for that. I appreciate it.
29
00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:19,360
Okay, A, until we come up with more than
11 viewers, you don't need to worry
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00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:23,980
about the everyone in everyone in
Massachusetts, okay? And two, I thought
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was a whole comedy time passage clause
with tragic events.
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00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,060
A time passage clause?
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00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,720
Yeah, like, for example, the Challenger
space shuttle explosion.
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1986, 87, not funny.
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00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,440
Now... What, still too soon? Too soon.
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00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,880
I'm sorry. I didn't realize the whole
shit lips thing was going to be such a
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00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:47,880
deal. God.
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00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,100
You're bad at sex.
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00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:52,840
You're bad.
40
00:02:53,820 --> 00:02:54,820
Bad.
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00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:56,960
You're bad at sex.
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You're bad.
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I don't want to talk about it.
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Thanks. No, dude.
45
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:07,960
Thanks, boss.
46
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:11,200
I still can't believe anyone tunes in
for your horror movie garbage.
47
00:03:12,140 --> 00:03:13,880
Keep retuning in? No.
48
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,320
But it's a good test for when I launch
my own show.
49
00:03:17,580 --> 00:03:21,220
Lance Rockets Cock Rockin' Metal Hour.
All hair metal?
50
00:03:22,820 --> 00:03:24,100
All hour long?
51
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:25,660
We've done it.
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00:03:26,700 --> 00:03:27,700
Yes!
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00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:30,620
Plus, guess who my first live musical
act's gonna be?
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00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,340
Your own band?
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00:03:32,620 --> 00:03:37,060
Oh, hell yes. Diver Down's gonna rock
the Van Halen covers, and everybody's
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00:03:37,060 --> 00:03:38,460
gonna be running with the devil.
57
00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:40,540
Wow.
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00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,680
What a score for your show. I was so
psyched to get my call.
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00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,120
All right, you guys wrap up. I gotta get
going. I gotta date tonight.
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Oh, whoa.
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I didn't know you were dating someone.
We met at my band's last show.
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00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,220
Or should I say we met backstage at my
band's last show.
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00:03:56,140 --> 00:03:58,460
The VFW Hall has a backstage?
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00:03:58,780 --> 00:03:59,780
Well, they got a bathroom.
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00:04:00,650 --> 00:04:01,650
Tell us more.
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00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:03,890
A rocket does not kiss and tell.
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00:04:04,210 --> 00:04:07,650
Okay, um, how about just a name?
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00:04:09,110 --> 00:04:10,110
Riley.
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00:04:11,230 --> 00:04:17,709
And not that it's any of our business,
but Riley is, uh... Metalhead just like
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00:04:17,709 --> 00:04:18,709
me!
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00:04:19,110 --> 00:04:24,650
Uh, no, like, Riley sex is... oral.
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00:04:25,750 --> 00:04:29,150
No, what I think Adam's getting at is
Riley can be...
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00:04:29,710 --> 00:04:32,430
A girl's name or a boy's name.
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Okay.
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00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:40,350
So... So what?
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Forget it.
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Human grace!
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We've been diving down!
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Good night!
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00:04:47,510 --> 00:04:48,510
Woo!
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00:04:53,230 --> 00:04:54,510
You almost ready to go?
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00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:55,730
Just a second.
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00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:57,750
What are you doing?
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00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:02,920
Dude.
85
00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:04,840
What? Laura's staying over tonight.
86
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:09,740
No, I mean, dude, those things are only
meant to be used once.
87
00:05:10,180 --> 00:05:12,160
Um, do I look like I'm made of money?
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00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:15,420
Besides, it's totally fine if you wash
it out and use it again if it's with the
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00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:16,420
same girl.
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00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:18,620
Really? Yeah, totally.
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00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:21,980
Just not more than three times. Now,
four.
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00:05:34,670 --> 00:05:37,710
I lived better when I was a kid and got
an allowance each week. Look at all
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00:05:37,710 --> 00:05:38,790
these VHSs I have.
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00:05:39,050 --> 00:05:40,390
Throw them out.
95
00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:41,770
What? No way.
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00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:45,410
I'm going to transfer every one of these
things to DVD, even if it takes me a
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00:05:45,410 --> 00:05:47,630
year or an entire season of a TV show.
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00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:49,430
Christ, Axel!
99
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:52,430
What? Your cat crapped behind the couch
again?
100
00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:55,330
He just hasn't figured out the litter
box yet.
101
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:56,690
He's seven.
102
00:05:56,890 --> 00:06:00,370
He's getting it. He craps everywhere but
the litter box.
103
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,130
Stupid creature.
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00:06:03,470 --> 00:06:05,160
Hey. He's not stupid.
105
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:06,900
He's retarded.
106
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,900
The vet said he's got feline down
syndrome.
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00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:15,000
Long thing is, plastic bag, pool at my
dad's house, done.
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00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:20,240
Dude, look, check it out. Now, this is
what I'm talking about.
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00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:27,580
Tell me how this crappy movie got made,
yet we still can't get shin pads off the
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00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:28,800
ground. Have faith.
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00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:32,980
No one ever made it big by giving up.
With a little hard work and some...
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00:06:33,180 --> 00:06:38,080
dedication. Someday soon, we will be
saying, hello, Hollywood, and goodbye,
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Holliston.
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00:06:42,460 --> 00:06:46,120
It's gonna happen. The world is just not
ready for a scary soccer movie yet.
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00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,380
Oh, by the way, how are the script
revisions coming?
116
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,560
I'm going all right.
117
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:53,920
I was actually gonna stay in tonight so
I could rewrite the goalie's
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00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:54,920
dismemberment scene.
119
00:06:55,540 --> 00:06:58,200
Wait, I thought you said you were
hanging out with Deanna tonight.
120
00:06:58,780 --> 00:07:01,900
Kind of thinking about breaking up with
her.
121
00:07:02,580 --> 00:07:03,580
Why?
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00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,360
It's just not working out.
123
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,380
Not buying it. It's not her. It's me.
124
00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,639
Try again.
125
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,100
She's never seen Gremlins. And there it
is.
126
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:16,340
Dude, I can't date a girl if she's never
seen Gremlins.
127
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:19,080
I mean, she doesn't even know the three
rules.
128
00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:21,260
It's dangerous.
129
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,720
So, is this because she doesn't know
about water and bright light? Or is this
130
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,880
really because you're still hung up on
Corey?
131
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,120
Don't go there.
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00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:34,400
It's been three years. Two years and 48
weeks. She's not coming back. You don't
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00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,039
know that.
134
00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:39,220
Okay, old high school girlfriends, they
don't come back. They go off to college
135
00:07:39,220 --> 00:07:40,840
and they sleep with football teams.
136
00:07:41,660 --> 00:07:42,660
Let it go, dude.
137
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,840
No, no, no, no, no.
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00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:46,220
I'm not going to let it go. I'm done
with excuses, okay?
139
00:07:46,540 --> 00:07:51,340
This one doesn't laugh like Corey. That
one doesn't smell like Corey. This one
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00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:53,200
doesn't sneeze like Corey.
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00:07:54,380 --> 00:07:55,620
She had a great sneeze.
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00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:58,280
Choo.
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00:08:00,229 --> 00:08:02,170
Look, Corey's just the perfect girl.
144
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:03,389
You know?
145
00:08:03,390 --> 00:08:06,950
I mean, like, she's the type of girl
that you just see her and you just want
146
00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:08,010
like, buy her ice cream.
147
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,570
Haven't you ever felt like that about a
girl?
148
00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:17,750
I don't get it. Why are you going to
break up with a perfectly good girl like
149
00:08:17,750 --> 00:08:21,070
that? Seriously, what, over feeding a
mogwai after midnight?
150
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:25,530
Look, Deanna's a great girl. She's got a
huge rack.
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00:08:25,770 --> 00:08:28,730
She's in broadcasting, which means she's
going to be able to support you for
152
00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:29,730
life.
153
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,000
Did you eat my peanut butter?
154
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:32,240
No.
155
00:08:33,260 --> 00:08:35,179
Yesterday, it was there.
156
00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,260
Now, it's here.
157
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,400
So?
158
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:46,300
Unless you're gonna start paying for it,
stop eating it. I don't like peanut
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00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,700
butter. I'm allergic to butter! Liar!
160
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,580
Did you just think about scanning me?
161
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:12,440
No. Yes, you did. You totally just
pulled the scanners on me, you dick.
162
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:13,700
No, I didn't.
163
00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:20,200
Hey, boys.
164
00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,540
Hey. Hey, Laura.
165
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:24,600
Oh, cute.
166
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:28,500
Last night's show was bald.
167
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,160
It was funny.
168
00:09:32,660 --> 00:09:35,220
Oh. Then you mean tits.
169
00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:36,440
Tits are good.
170
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:37,479
Balls are bad.
171
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,480
Wicked bad.
172
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:40,680
What?
173
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,500
Mooring lip shit.
174
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,200
Right? Funny.
175
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:47,900
Shit lips. Huh?
176
00:09:49,580 --> 00:09:52,220
Oh, I made you something. Come here.
I'll show you. Oh, cool.
177
00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:57,240
Oh, is it... Ew!
178
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:02,840
Maldito seras por resto de tu vida,
gato.
179
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,640
What do you got?
180
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,540
Okay, I've been working on this for a
year.
181
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,280
But I didn't get the inspiration for the
clown makeup until last night.
182
00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:22,260
I love it.
183
00:10:22,800 --> 00:10:24,540
Oh, I just threw it together.
184
00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:27,560
Great. Oh, how's the apartment search
going?
185
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:31,020
Nothing yet, but I found a roommate.
186
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,800
Guess I'll move back to Holliston.
187
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,780
No. Yeah?
188
00:10:37,100 --> 00:10:38,100
Hey, your name.
189
00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:39,700
It's been three years.
190
00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:41,460
Yeah, two years and 48 weeks.
191
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:44,280
You make it sound like he's still pining
away for her.
192
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:45,800
Hey, Joe.
193
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:49,600
Did you borrow my DVD of Corey and I
getting ready for the prom? I can't find
194
00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,600
anywhere. Hmm.
195
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,360
Did you check in your DVD player?
196
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,380
What happened to Deanna?
197
00:10:56,700 --> 00:11:00,740
She's perfect for him. Yeah, she's
perfect until he finds out you know who
198
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:01,740
back in town.
199
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:03,140
Who?
200
00:11:03,500 --> 00:11:04,500
You know.
201
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:05,940
Me? No, Corey.
202
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,360
What? Shit.
203
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:09,540
Spill it.
204
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:16,360
Corey, um, got a job at Boston Medical
Center. So, yeah, she's back
205
00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,180
in Holliston.
206
00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:20,060
Yay.
207
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:21,900
This is awesome.
208
00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:26,100
I told you she was coming back. This is
the greatest day of my... That looks
209
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,020
like an aborted clown fetus. It is.
210
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:29,920
Ick.
211
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,440
So, what's the deal? When are we all
hanging out? When do I get to see her?
212
00:11:34,380 --> 00:11:40,040
We're going apartment hunting later. I'm
meeting her at Casey's in a bit if you
213
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:45,360
want to join us for a drink later or a
214
00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:47,240
Christmas.
215
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,340
Merry Christmas.
216
00:11:50,820 --> 00:11:55,720
This is the greatest day of my life. I
just need two seconds to get ready.
217
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:56,720
driving?
218
00:11:56,820 --> 00:12:01,420
Do you mind? No gas. You haven't had gas
for seven months. Why do you even have
219
00:12:01,420 --> 00:12:02,089
a car?
220
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:04,490
$3 .95 a gallon? Get real.
221
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:08,950
I don't mind driving you around.
222
00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:14,010
Well, someday we'll be making huge
movies and I'll be able to take you
223
00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,010
you want.
224
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:16,870
Even Subway?
225
00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:18,290
Even Subway.
226
00:12:18,990 --> 00:12:22,170
But until then, do you have $3 .75 in
your quarters?
227
00:12:22,610 --> 00:12:23,610
Audrey.
228
00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,130
Just let me do one thing.
229
00:12:26,490 --> 00:12:27,490
Five,
230
00:12:29,390 --> 00:12:31,510
four, three, two...
231
00:12:32,030 --> 00:12:33,030
Hey, Deanna?
232
00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:34,690
Hey, it's me.
233
00:12:35,970 --> 00:12:40,810
Listen, so I just found out that I'm,
like, dying.
234
00:12:42,370 --> 00:12:44,110
Yeah, I know, right?
235
00:12:44,790 --> 00:12:48,210
But so I don't really think that we
should see each other anymore because
236
00:12:48,210 --> 00:12:50,150
be, like, dead and stuff.
237
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,670
Oh, I'm sorry. Can you hold on a second?
I have another call.
238
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:55,570
So get over it.
239
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,270
Ah, Casey's Crossing.
240
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,510
Man, this place brings back memories.
241
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:22,310
Ah, Casey's Crossing.
242
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:24,470
Thank you.
243
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:29,110
Don't embarrass yourself, okay?
244
00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:31,290
Dude, please.
245
00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:33,870
Okay.
246
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,120
God, your hair smells so good. Thank
you.
247
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,400
Thank you.
248
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:53,340
Adam, this is... Amazing?
249
00:13:54,260 --> 00:13:56,540
No, this is my boyfriend, Kevin.
250
00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:58,400
What's up, man?
251
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,440
Did you know she had a boyfriend?
252
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:04,960
Yeah.
253
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:07,800
Kevin,
254
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:13,140
Joe. Oh, dude, so awesome to meet you.
255
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:16,880
I'm going to get a beard, beard, yeah.
256
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:17,959
Oh, yes, please.
257
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,780
Can't drink tonight. I'm on call.
258
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,200
Kevin's a doctor.
259
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:22,940
Doctor!
260
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:25,780
So,
261
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,500
Adam. I have a girlfriend.
262
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,260
Okay. Yep. Great.
263
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,120
That's great. I'm happy.
264
00:14:33,980 --> 00:14:35,580
I'm so happy.
265
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,380
What are you doing back in Holliston?
266
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:43,260
Oh, well, I'm working in Boston. And
since I'm going to be paying off my
267
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:45,840
college loans until I'm, I don't know,
70.
268
00:14:46,750 --> 00:14:51,030
I figure, move back to the hometown, pay
rent, save the money.
269
00:14:51,430 --> 00:14:52,430
16.
270
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:54,870
I'm saving a ton.
271
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:59,330
What about you? What's going on with
your script for Rancid Aviators? Are you
272
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:00,330
guys going to make that?
273
00:15:00,430 --> 00:15:03,810
Oh, um, Adam and Joe are inspiring
horror movie filmmakers.
274
00:15:04,170 --> 00:15:07,630
Cool. The Exorcist is my favorite movie
of all time.
275
00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:09,530
Thank you.
276
00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:14,210
They have this really cool script about
leper World War I pilot.
277
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:16,050
Uh, Bill Tweaking.
278
00:15:16,819 --> 00:15:20,640
That script, actually, because we have,
you know, got all these projects in
279
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,120
development. I don't know if you know
what development means. You probably
280
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,280
know what that means, but it just means
that we have, like, pre -production, we
281
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,600
have things in post -production, we have
things in production production. Wow,
282
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:30,180
so then you're really making a living at
it. Are you kidding?
283
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,080
Yeah. We're doing great.
284
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:35,840
Tip. We're doing great.
285
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,020
Well, great job, girlfriend.
286
00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,700
It sounds like you're really living the
dream.
287
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,540
Can't be much different than you and...
288
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,280
Ken. It's Kevin!
289
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,520
That's awesome!
290
00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:54,060
You know, I have to admit, I was a
little worried it would be, I don't
291
00:15:54,060 --> 00:15:55,700
awkward seeing you again.
292
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,320
I heard you went through a rough spell.
293
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,420
Adam tells me your movies are going
great.
294
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:19,120
Well, I wouldn't say that.
295
00:16:19,340 --> 00:16:23,220
But we are talking about doing a mock
trailer for our shin pad script to help
296
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:24,280
get the financing to shoot it.
297
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:30,040
We're seriously talking about that.
We're in serious talks.
298
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,920
Great. Then where are you, you know,
working, working?
299
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,980
Well, we shoot local cable commercials
for Matt Cable Network.
300
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:38,200
Cable commercial.
301
00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:41,880
You mean like those late night ones that
always start halfway through the
302
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:45,180
commercial and have some guy standing in
front of his furniture store waving?
303
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:49,200
It's not like that.
304
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:52,460
It's sort of like that.
305
00:16:53,060 --> 00:16:56,820
Well, I know what it's like, you know? I
mean, I'm still writing my songs and
306
00:16:56,820 --> 00:17:03,100
doing open mic nights, but in my real
life, I remove bandages and change
307
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:04,859
catheters for a living, you know?
308
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:06,220
Well, at least you get paid well.
309
00:17:06,569 --> 00:17:09,270
We get paid dicks shooting crazy maxes
discount, Mark.
310
00:17:10,550 --> 00:17:11,930
That's a good kind of dick, though.
311
00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:14,950
Well, Adam, tell me about your
girlfriend.
312
00:17:16,130 --> 00:17:17,589
Girlfriend? Uh, Deanna?
313
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:19,410
Oh, she's great.
314
00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:24,569
She's so great. She's, um, she's sort of
like, she's sort of like you, just like
315
00:17:24,569 --> 00:17:30,710
better. Um, we met at a charity function
that she was heading up for children
316
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:32,730
with bad cancer.
317
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,070
Bad cancer?
318
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:35,310
Wicked bad.
319
00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:37,780
Just charity work?
320
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,240
Dude, I thought you and Deanna were...
We're probably going to get married
321
00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:43,240
someday.
322
00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:45,440
See, that's what everybody says, right?
323
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:47,180
Huh? Yeah, see?
324
00:17:47,540 --> 00:17:51,100
It's just like people look at us and we
just like exude like eternal happiness
325
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:53,800
and forever, you know? Like you look at
you guys, like, you know, not so much.
326
00:17:53,820 --> 00:17:56,060
I'd say like, you know, maybe two
months, three months tops or whatever.
327
00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:59,060
look at us and it's just like a
permanent forever type thing because
328
00:17:59,060 --> 00:18:03,120
happy, you know? And I'm going to marry
a girl and it's not going to be you.
329
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,740
Well, I can't wait to meet her.
330
00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:11,060
Maybe someday.
331
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,020
What about tomorrow night, huh?
332
00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:18,980
A double date with you guys. Old friend
can catch up. No,
333
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,160
yeah, you know, that's probably not a
good idea. I mean, you guys must be
334
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,480
busy, and this guy clearly has to work
out or something.
335
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:26,960
We're both off tomorrow night.
336
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,160
Yeah, let's do it.
337
00:18:28,500 --> 00:18:29,500
Dinner at the grill?
338
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:31,480
Oh, tomorrow? No.
339
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:35,820
Tomorrow night, that wouldn't work,
because I'd have to check with Deanna.
340
00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,540
Well, Laura, we should probably get
apartment hunting, huh?
341
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:42,760
Ready when you are.
342
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,200
Okay, well.
343
00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:48,240
Okay, well, we will see you guys
tomorrow night.
344
00:18:49,620 --> 00:18:51,880
Seven? Seven sounds tit.
345
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,280
Tits are good.
346
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,240
Let's go.
347
00:18:58,060 --> 00:18:59,060
Bye -bye.
348
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:00,900
Drive home safe.
349
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,620
Are you trying to ruin my life?
350
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:11,180
I'm not going to sit here and let you
piss your life away waiting for her. Did
351
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:14,900
you happen to notice her, um, boyfriend?
Did you happen to notice that guy's up
352
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,340
front to try to make me jealous?
353
00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:19,800
Huh? Come on, dude. Where the hell did
Corey meet a doctor?
354
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,499
She's a nurse!
355
00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:26,320
Whatever. I can play her game, too.
She's going to see that I've moved on,
356
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:29,240
that I'm really happy, and she's going
to want me back.
357
00:19:30,260 --> 00:19:31,680
So you're really going to go on this
date?
358
00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:32,980
Yes.
359
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:35,060
Yes, I'm going to go on this date. What?
360
00:19:35,360 --> 00:19:37,100
You think I'm going to fess up?
361
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:41,120
And tell her the truth and let her see
how pathetic my life is?
362
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,500
No.
363
00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:46,940
I'm going to go out with her, and she's
going to see how happy I am.
364
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:52,840
Look at you. Look at that shitty shirt.
Seriously. It's like I don't even know
365
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:53,639
you anymore.
366
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,940
This is a new low, even for you.
367
00:20:30,540 --> 00:20:32,200
Hey, it's Adam.
368
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:40,860
Yeah, I know. It was crazy. There was
like a miracle at the last second.
369
00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:44,840
And my brain transplant went through.
370
00:21:15,340 --> 00:21:20,040
You've agreed to go on a double date to
try and get Corey back.
371
00:21:21,020 --> 00:21:23,600
Don't you think it's time you just moved
on?
372
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:25,700
You don't understand.
373
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:30,260
When Corey and I broke up, she said it
was only temporary and that someday we
374
00:21:30,260 --> 00:21:31,260
would get back together.
375
00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:35,960
She said that she would always be in
love with me. That is not what she said.
376
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,400
How would you know?
377
00:21:37,740 --> 00:21:40,160
Adam, we're not getting back together.
378
00:21:41,780 --> 00:21:42,780
Ever.
379
00:21:44,590 --> 00:21:45,590
I don't love you anymore.
380
00:21:47,370 --> 00:21:49,210
Hey, Blondie, move the arm.
381
00:21:50,170 --> 00:21:51,650
That's semantics.
382
00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:57,810
Adam, on my planet, there's only one
solution to this predicament.
383
00:21:58,070 --> 00:22:04,530
Like I always say, when love isn't going
your way, pay for it.
384
00:22:06,450 --> 00:22:08,630
What, like, like get an escort?
385
00:22:08,930 --> 00:22:10,230
No, no, not an escort.
386
00:22:11,050 --> 00:22:12,410
Get a hooker.
387
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,480
This way the sex is guaranteed.
388
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:17,280
A hooker?
389
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,680
What? How much is a hooker for, like, a
two -hour date?
390
00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:23,280
$225.
391
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:25,220
$2 .50 for role -playing.
392
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:27,500
That was quick.
393
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:29,900
And specific.
394
00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:34,580
You don't understand.
395
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:38,920
I just want Corey to look at me as
something other than the little kid who
396
00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:39,920
got over her.
397
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,420
You know? Like, I want her to...
398
00:22:42,670 --> 00:22:44,770
To see her future when she looks in my
eye.
399
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:48,530
I want to grow old together and have
lots of bait.
400
00:22:49,290 --> 00:22:50,290
Where are you going?
401
00:22:50,510 --> 00:22:51,530
Oh, I've got to be someplace.
402
00:22:51,970 --> 00:22:55,310
But you're my imaginary friend. You
can't just leave me when I'm like this.
403
00:22:55,550 --> 00:22:56,790
Yeah, but I got that thing.
404
00:22:56,990 --> 00:22:57,990
You know, that thing.
405
00:23:00,510 --> 00:23:01,510
Douchebag!
406
00:23:08,630 --> 00:23:09,630
Okay.
407
00:23:10,030 --> 00:23:11,090
So I'm getting a hooker.
408
00:23:12,330 --> 00:23:14,190
A hooker. For a two -hour dinner.
409
00:23:14,750 --> 00:23:16,270
That's like 225 bucks.
410
00:23:16,590 --> 00:23:17,850
250 if you count role play.
411
00:23:18,770 --> 00:23:20,430
How does everybody know that?
412
00:23:22,510 --> 00:23:23,510
Look,
413
00:23:23,850 --> 00:23:30,310
I know that it makes me a complete and
total scumbag, but I have to do this. I
414
00:23:30,310 --> 00:23:34,930
have to go through with this. No, man. I
get it. I do. Look, it's my fault too,
415
00:23:34,990 --> 00:23:38,610
right? Why don't you just take from the
Blu -ray fund?
416
00:23:39,370 --> 00:23:42,000
Dude. I couldn't do that. No, really.
417
00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:43,920
There's like 200 bucks in there.
418
00:23:44,380 --> 00:23:45,380
Take it.
419
00:23:45,820 --> 00:23:49,320
But that's all the money that we'd save
for a Blu -ray player.
420
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:51,240
We don't even own a high -def TV.
421
00:23:51,460 --> 00:23:52,960
We can't even afford Blu -ray discs.
422
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,700
Look at us. We have an Xbox.
423
00:23:55,200 --> 00:23:56,400
We don't even have any games.
424
00:23:56,900 --> 00:23:58,020
We have Resident Evil.
425
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:00,960
Because I stole it when we did the
commercial for Game Haven.
426
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:03,020
Still counts as having games.
427
00:24:04,620 --> 00:24:05,620
Go on.
428
00:24:06,060 --> 00:24:07,060
Take it.
429
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,200
Thanks, man.
430
00:24:10,090 --> 00:24:11,590
Are you ready for date night?
431
00:24:12,730 --> 00:24:13,730
The couch awaits.
432
00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:16,470
Were you going out with Kevin and Cory
tonight?
433
00:24:17,130 --> 00:24:22,210
Um, I am. I just, um, I need to find a
number for somebody first.
434
00:24:22,590 --> 00:24:24,390
Who? He's getting a hooker.
435
00:24:24,910 --> 00:24:26,210
Oh, I have a number.
436
00:24:29,670 --> 00:24:30,670
Hey.
437
00:24:35,630 --> 00:24:38,290
So, Deanna, Adam tells me you do charity
work.
438
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:46,360
We met at a fundraiser I put on for
children with bad cancer.
439
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,780
Well, Kevin and I work at a hospital, so
we see it all.
440
00:24:53,360 --> 00:24:56,560
When you meet other people that care,
it's pretty awesome.
441
00:24:57,500 --> 00:24:59,260
And how do you all know each other?
442
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:02,400
Well,
443
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,900
Adam and I used to date when we were
kids.
444
00:25:07,580 --> 00:25:09,800
We dated for seven years and two months.
445
00:25:11,010 --> 00:25:12,210
Childhood sweethearts.
446
00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:14,250
Forever.
447
00:25:14,670 --> 00:25:18,730
Well, we broke up after college and now
we're friends. We're friends.
448
00:25:19,090 --> 00:25:20,430
So, nice.
449
00:25:22,070 --> 00:25:27,270
Adam was always sort of, I don't know,
an inspiration to me, I guess.
450
00:25:27,550 --> 00:25:29,230
I mean, he doesn't give up.
451
00:25:29,430 --> 00:25:30,870
He chases his dream.
452
00:25:31,550 --> 00:25:32,550
He's loyal.
453
00:25:32,830 --> 00:25:33,830
He's funny.
454
00:25:34,190 --> 00:25:36,030
Oh, wait, you're funny?
455
00:25:36,530 --> 00:25:39,250
Well, I don't know about that. I'm just,
like...
456
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,480
Be funny, then.
457
00:25:40,900 --> 00:25:42,140
Do something funny.
458
00:25:42,580 --> 00:25:45,700
Come on, do something funny. Do
something funny.
459
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,960
We do this everywhere we go. It's, like,
so funny.
460
00:25:55,140 --> 00:25:57,940
Oh, damn.
461
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:06,400
Mr. Pendergraft's liver's failing.
462
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,400
Don't let us hold you up.
463
00:26:10,659 --> 00:26:11,820
Leave. Sorry, everyone.
464
00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,580
But I gotta get back to the hospital.
465
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:15,320
Babe, lie.
466
00:26:48,140 --> 00:26:51,860
It's already been an hour and 27 minutes
anyway, so might as well just call it a
467
00:26:51,860 --> 00:26:55,160
night. No, no, no, no, no. Let's not let
this ruin our night. Why don't we go
468
00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:56,160
see a movie?
469
00:26:56,340 --> 00:26:58,060
Can we add that to our night?
470
00:26:59,020 --> 00:27:05,580
I don't know. I mean, an entire movie
would be like two more hours. And, I
471
00:27:05,580 --> 00:27:08,300
you're not really looking so good. And
plus, I mean, we have that whole thing
472
00:27:08,300 --> 00:27:10,580
tomorrow. Weren't we going to see your
mom tomorrow? We were. We were going to
473
00:27:10,580 --> 00:27:14,380
see mom tomorrow. So I think we should
probably get some rest and just kind of
474
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:15,379
go home, okay?
475
00:27:15,380 --> 00:27:16,380
We're going to go.
476
00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:18,760
It's only 9 o 'clock. Don't be a wuss,
Adam.
477
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,700
Yeah, don't be a wuss, Adam.
478
00:27:23,420 --> 00:27:28,060
Could you excuse me for a second? Will I
excuse myself real quick?
479
00:28:02,670 --> 00:28:06,170
How nice is this? Alone, no sociopathic
roommates.
480
00:28:06,670 --> 00:28:08,110
Can we order pizza?
481
00:28:08,590 --> 00:28:09,590
Too expensive.
482
00:28:10,130 --> 00:28:11,730
But I'm starving.
483
00:28:12,410 --> 00:28:13,410
Here.
484
00:28:14,050 --> 00:28:15,370
Have some peanut butter.
485
00:28:17,510 --> 00:28:18,510
Oh, cool.
486
00:28:18,810 --> 00:28:19,810
Gremlins is on cable.
487
00:28:20,190 --> 00:28:21,490
Never saw Gremlins.
488
00:28:31,470 --> 00:28:32,470
Check the caller ID first.
489
00:28:32,590 --> 00:28:36,150
Math, water, and power? No. Cable
vision? No. Phone company? No. Then give
490
00:28:38,230 --> 00:28:40,190
Hello? Dude, help.
491
00:28:41,050 --> 00:28:44,750
What's wrong? Doogie Howser bailed and
now Corey wants to see a movie. I'm
492
00:28:44,750 --> 00:28:47,630
totally out of cash and I'm about to be
so busted. What do you want me to do?
493
00:28:48,130 --> 00:28:52,470
I need you to... Is she eating my peanut
butter? How do you know that?
494
00:28:53,330 --> 00:28:56,550
Look, she can have it. I don't care.
Just come down to the grill right now
495
00:28:56,550 --> 00:28:58,430
say there's an emergency at the
apartment.
496
00:28:58,750 --> 00:29:01,430
Say my bed's on fire. I don't care what
it is, dude. Seriously, bail me out,
497
00:29:01,470 --> 00:29:02,730
please. Okay, okay, okay.
498
00:29:05,630 --> 00:29:07,350
I gotta go bail Adam out, babe. I'm
sorry.
499
00:29:08,870 --> 00:29:09,870
What's wrong?
500
00:29:09,930 --> 00:29:10,930
No time. I'll be back.
501
00:29:28,490 --> 00:29:30,330
He's playing at the Framingham 14.
502
00:29:30,650 --> 00:29:33,010
Is that the one where they kill the guy
with electricity?
503
00:29:33,290 --> 00:29:34,290
No.
504
00:29:34,470 --> 00:29:37,170
I'm not feeling so well. Sorry.
505
00:29:38,670 --> 00:29:39,670
What's wrong?
506
00:29:40,170 --> 00:29:41,570
You wouldn't understand.
507
00:29:42,630 --> 00:29:44,830
Adam, I'm a nurse. I will understand.
508
00:29:45,730 --> 00:29:46,730
Not this.
509
00:29:47,110 --> 00:29:48,630
Do you have loose stool?
510
00:29:49,690 --> 00:29:51,310
Do I? What?
511
00:29:51,810 --> 00:29:53,570
Do I have loose... Ew!
512
00:29:53,950 --> 00:29:56,190
No. No, I don't have...
513
00:29:56,689 --> 00:29:57,930
What the hell was that?
514
00:29:58,230 --> 00:30:00,110
Well, you ran off to the bathroom so
fast.
515
00:30:00,330 --> 00:30:01,330
I don't know.
516
00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:04,870
I just want to mention that it's 9 o
'clock.
517
00:30:05,510 --> 00:30:06,830
Are we doing this or not?
518
00:30:07,990 --> 00:30:12,810
Um, you know what, Dave? I don't know if
we can afford a movie tonight. I mean,
519
00:30:12,830 --> 00:30:16,910
we've been saving up for that other
thing, you know?
520
00:30:18,310 --> 00:30:20,110
Adam, I can buy the ticket.
521
00:30:20,430 --> 00:30:24,430
No, you can't buy the tickets. I can buy
the tickets, Adam. It's cool. It is so
522
00:30:24,430 --> 00:30:25,430
not cool.
523
00:30:26,260 --> 00:30:29,180
Okay, it was a pleasure meeting you,
Tori.
524
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,720
Good luck with your stool.
525
00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:37,800
I don't have loose stool.
526
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:42,520
What?
527
00:30:47,340 --> 00:30:48,340
What was that?
528
00:30:49,300 --> 00:30:52,420
Uh, what was what? Um, your girlfriend
just walked out.
529
00:30:54,060 --> 00:30:55,340
That's Fiona for you.
530
00:30:57,040 --> 00:30:59,900
Must be a cancerous kid in trouble
somewhere.
531
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:01,720
Adam?
532
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,020
Shit. And who is this?
533
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:05,660
Um, who are you?
534
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:07,440
I'm Deanna.
535
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:09,640
What?
536
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,080
Okay, I'm a little confused because I
thought... I'm his ex -girlfriend.
537
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:15,380
No, you're not.
538
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,780
Go away, random girl.
539
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:20,620
You know what? It's fine.
540
00:31:20,820 --> 00:31:23,500
You can have him. He cries during sex.
541
00:31:32,620 --> 00:31:33,620
I want to know.
542
00:31:34,020 --> 00:31:38,860
So glad I found you. We've got to get
back to the apartment right now. Why?
543
00:31:38,860 --> 00:31:39,539
What's wrong?
544
00:31:39,540 --> 00:31:40,900
The cat's wicked depressed.
545
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:42,179
Sounds serious.
546
00:31:42,180 --> 00:31:42,939
Let's go.
547
00:31:42,940 --> 00:31:43,940
Sit.
548
00:31:47,500 --> 00:31:49,180
The cat's wicked depressed?
549
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:50,920
Okay.
550
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,520
I'm going to be totally honest with you
right now. How good?
551
00:31:59,380 --> 00:32:01,920
Could we step outside for a second?
552
00:32:02,300 --> 00:32:03,300
Me and you?
553
00:32:05,100 --> 00:32:06,100
Sure.
554
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:08,400
Here.
555
00:32:08,940 --> 00:32:10,580
Where are you going? No, no, no.
556
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,980
Just stay here and order coffee or
something. I'll be right back. I'll be
557
00:32:13,980 --> 00:32:14,980
back.
558
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:20,860
Well, coffee, or should I just bring you
the check?
559
00:32:22,460 --> 00:32:24,600
I'll have another cup of coffee.
560
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,860
Okay. What's going on here?
561
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:40,380
Speak. Look, my cat Axel's been wicked
depressed ever since he found out they
562
00:32:40,380 --> 00:32:41,940
were recasting you for the second
season.
563
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,120
In the moment.
564
00:32:45,620 --> 00:32:46,620
Quit it.
565
00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:51,820
This sucks.
566
00:32:53,300 --> 00:32:56,300
This sucks worse than the Halloween when
I threw up in my mask.
567
00:32:57,780 --> 00:32:58,780
What?
568
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:04,500
known each other.
569
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,260
You know you can tell me anything.
570
00:33:09,140 --> 00:33:10,140
I love you.
571
00:33:12,020 --> 00:33:13,880
I've been in love with you since we were
little kids.
572
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:16,500
I'm still in love with you now.
573
00:33:17,860 --> 00:33:20,920
And I am always going to be in love with
you.
574
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,740
Not what you wanted to hear, right?
575
00:33:30,800 --> 00:33:32,280
I thought you had a girlfriend.
576
00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:37,590
Or was she just... She was a hooker. You
hired a hooker? What?
577
00:33:41,670 --> 00:33:42,670
More coffee?
578
00:33:43,250 --> 00:33:45,910
Sure. Thank you very much.
579
00:33:57,010 --> 00:34:01,430
Remember that summer when we wrapped the
cape?
580
00:34:02,010 --> 00:34:06,650
And you said that no matter what
happened, that we would end up together
581
00:34:06,650 --> 00:34:07,650
end?
582
00:34:08,250 --> 00:34:09,250
I was 15.
583
00:34:09,969 --> 00:34:11,370
I had braces.
584
00:34:12,810 --> 00:34:14,090
I liked your braces.
585
00:34:15,210 --> 00:34:16,210
They were hot.
586
00:34:17,570 --> 00:34:19,550
Look, I meant everything I said.
587
00:34:21,190 --> 00:34:22,190
Then.
588
00:34:22,469 --> 00:34:23,670
But I grew up.
589
00:34:24,989 --> 00:34:29,969
Why would you do all this? Because I
wanted you to see how happy I am. How
590
00:34:29,969 --> 00:34:30,969
my life is.
591
00:34:31,530 --> 00:34:34,870
You know, like what you're trying to do
to me with that dude, Kevin.
592
00:34:35,230 --> 00:34:37,110
He doesn't say his name like that.
593
00:34:38,489 --> 00:34:39,489
Okay, maybe I will.
594
00:34:40,150 --> 00:34:42,150
You can't possibly like that guy.
595
00:34:42,429 --> 00:34:44,310
Actually, I do. I like him a lot.
596
00:34:44,770 --> 00:34:45,770
Please.
597
00:34:46,290 --> 00:34:48,850
Next thing you know, you're going to try
to tell me you're sleeping with him.
598
00:34:49,429 --> 00:34:50,730
I am. Slut!
599
00:34:52,770 --> 00:34:53,770
Anything else?
600
00:34:54,090 --> 00:34:56,889
I think I'll have another cup of coffee.
601
00:35:08,810 --> 00:35:10,130
God, I just feel awful.
602
00:35:10,750 --> 00:35:14,270
I mean, I don't want to be that girl,
you know? I don't want to lead you on or
603
00:35:14,270 --> 00:35:15,310
play games with your head.
604
00:35:16,210 --> 00:35:18,770
I really thought enough time had passed
that we could be friends.
605
00:35:19,730 --> 00:35:21,650
I mean, it's been three years.
606
00:35:22,350 --> 00:35:23,750
Two years and 48 weeks.
607
00:35:26,510 --> 00:35:30,870
Look, this whole thing is just
humiliating, you know?
608
00:35:31,470 --> 00:35:32,470
I mean, look at me.
609
00:35:32,780 --> 00:35:34,220
I just got a drink poured in my lap.
610
00:35:35,100 --> 00:35:36,260
I rented a hookah.
611
00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,520
Now that you're standing here in front
of me again, I mean, everything you're
612
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,320
saying makes sense.
613
00:35:45,500 --> 00:35:47,600
I think you just haven't found the right
girl yet.
614
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,720
So you're hanging on to the idea of me.
615
00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:51,800
I mean, I love you.
616
00:35:52,540 --> 00:35:53,780
I'm always going to love you.
617
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:56,660
Just not like that.
618
00:35:57,520 --> 00:36:00,460
So you're saying you want to have
breakups?
619
00:36:03,859 --> 00:36:04,859
Adam. Okay, look.
620
00:36:05,500 --> 00:36:07,100
Look, you tell me what you want, okay?
621
00:36:07,780 --> 00:36:11,620
If this is too much for you and you're
not ready to be friends, just say the
622
00:36:11,620 --> 00:36:13,100
word and I will stay out of your life.
623
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,900
No, no. I can totally do this.
624
00:36:17,580 --> 00:36:24,180
But if you're giving me options, how
about some quick breakup sex and then
625
00:36:24,180 --> 00:36:25,180
friends? Adam.
626
00:36:25,740 --> 00:36:26,760
Quick. Really quick.
627
00:36:27,380 --> 00:36:28,900
Okay, well, like, how long are we
talking about?
628
00:36:30,260 --> 00:36:31,760
Twenty... 30 seconds.
629
00:36:33,260 --> 00:36:34,260
Come here.
630
00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:39,900
Please tell me that is your car keys.
631
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:47,780
Sir, can I bring the bill now?
632
00:36:48,800 --> 00:36:52,040
I think I'll take just one more cup.
633
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:15,480
How much coffee did you drink?
634
00:37:15,780 --> 00:37:18,220
You were out there for 45 minutes. I
wasn't going to pay your bill.
635
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:19,440
What?
636
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:21,680
What happened with Corey?
637
00:37:24,180 --> 00:37:28,220
She kept begging me to have sex with
her, but I told her that we were better
638
00:37:28,220 --> 00:37:29,220
as just friends.
639
00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:31,720
Your bill.
640
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:35,800
I'm sorry, dude.
641
00:37:37,520 --> 00:37:39,160
No, I'm the one who's sorry.
642
00:37:39,740 --> 00:37:41,100
It was all my fault.
643
00:37:41,820 --> 00:37:43,280
I acted like such an idiot.
644
00:37:43,950 --> 00:37:49,430
And now we don't even have our Blu -ray
fund anymore. Look, when Shinpads is a
645
00:37:49,430 --> 00:37:52,210
franchise, we'll buy ten Blu -ray
players, okay?
646
00:37:53,070 --> 00:37:56,110
I just wanted you to be happy.
647
00:37:56,350 --> 00:38:03,230
Because you're my best
648
00:38:03,230 --> 00:38:05,910
friend.
649
00:38:14,510 --> 00:38:20,410
That means a lot to hear that you
650
00:38:20,410 --> 00:38:27,410
Care Because I
651
00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:33,750
Care about
652
00:38:47,530 --> 00:38:49,430
Is this where we kiss now, or... Stop
it!
653
00:38:51,670 --> 00:38:53,490
You ready to make a run for it? Why?
654
00:38:53,770 --> 00:38:55,990
Because that bill is about 90 bucks
short.
655
00:38:57,810 --> 00:38:58,810
Hey,
656
00:39:00,650 --> 00:39:02,050
that guy does have loose balls.
48835
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