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It's all there. You can count it. There's no need.
I hope it's enough. It's all we can pull together.
I didn't know if you'd get any time. I have to move on this tonight.
People at the shop, you know, we're like family.
And we knew Marta was upset about the kid. She does have a green card, right?
That's important.
Absolutely. She's been trying for months to bring the boy here.
The red tape's impossible.
Believe me, I know what you guys have been going through.
It's terrible. A mother separated from her son.
When can I tell Marta we're here for her?
You tell Marta to start sprucing up a room for her son.
God bless you for this.
Lowe's Hotel?
Mr. Lyne?
It's me.
We still on?
I've got the money.
I'm on my way.
None of my business, but I hope everything works out okay.
You know, reuniting that boy with his mother.
Good luck.
Thank you.
Crap.
Absolutely the guy.
I saw him stuff the envelope in his overcoat. It must have slipped out.
And you're trying to decide whether to keep it or not, huh?
No, wiseass.
I already called the hotel.
I told them I was coming.
No, I just thought you might appreciate the irony.
Me, police district thief of the month, has ten grand fall on his lap.
It's actually kind of classic, like a test of some kind.
Yeah, well, okay, I think God's got better things to do than run around
me. Well, you'll recall Jesus was tested by a last temptation, but then he was
rewarded by heaven.
Oh, yeah, and in between he was crucified. You should read up on this
You know, it's not much of a test.
I have to return the money.
He's got to bring some kid to the U .S. to be with his mom.
Seriously? From what I could tell, some group scraped the money together.
If it doesn't get returned, then...
Kid gets left in the jungle.
Well, you go get him, pal. I'll light a candle.
You always say that.
I bet you never do.
Well, I guess you'll never know.
Yeah, well, when you say late, how late are we talking?
An hour, Max.
I got to run a little errand.
Actually, it's more of a mission.
You know, sometimes it's a mission.
Parent meeting. with carol about college costs do you know that by the time
mikey's ready for college and education could cost three hundred thousand
dollars i mean it's just something we never talked about in a long list of
things we never talked about we haven't put away a dime michael carol and steven
have a portfolio for nathan did you hear what i said a portfolio got it and i
couldn't sleep i thought about this new juicer i bought what a screwed up parent
i was
Sorry, what did you say about a mission?
Nothing.
I'll see you later on.
Bye.
Here, here, go.
Hey, taxi.
No, no, I'll do it.
She's got to get to the hospital. My water broke. My contractions are three
minutes apart.
Oh. Come on, help her. Yeah, I got it.
Oh, I'm sorry if this is inconvenient for you. You know, you think it's what
dream come true.
Oh. Oh.
What hospital?
How should I know? I'm from out of town.
Oh, my hospital.
Um, hold on a minute.
No, graduate.
You know, in New York, the cabbies actually, like, know the city.
I'm going the wrong way. Oh, perfect!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Ow!
Bitch! Slow out. I am blowing, damn it!
I guess maybe traveling this late in the game wasn't such a hot idea.
You think?
Yeah, well, maybe I wanted my baby to have a father.
Okay.
I never saw such perfect teeth.
I'm lost. Oh, Texas John.
Oh, God.
I never saw teeth like this. Not on those losers in the neighborhood I
Oh, no.
He came to New York to be an actor. Oh, God.
I never went out with an actor before.
He's not actually getting paid to act yet, but I could see him.
Oh, like on a soap opera, maybe like an underwear commercial someday. Oh, God.
Texas Johnny, he's here or New York or Texas? Here, of course. He finds out I'm
pregnant, he bails to Philly. He works at the hotel.
Oh, oh, I thought if he was with me all for the birth that he'd face up to being
the father, which he is, and my husband, which he should be. That is a terrible
idea. What?
Yeah, well, who asked you?
You think you could guilt him into being in your life?
How'd he react?
I never saw him before I could check in.
Well, I'm no expert on good marriages, but I know all about bad ones, and
cooking up a train wreck. Yeah, well, screw you. I love them. Oh, God!
Stop the cab!
Oh, what? Now you're pissed, and you're walking.
No, now I am giving birth!
Oh, God!
All right, all right, just hang in there, sweetheart.
I used to be a cop. Just push. I'll show you where that's why you're driving a
cab. Ow!
I was!
Push! I am pushing, you creep!
I'm going to make a phone call. Just be calm.
Hello? Heather.
Heather? Mike?
Look, I'm sorry if I freaked you out. Yeah, I got a problem. I'm thinking
if we borrow against our life insurance, we can...
Knock away 4 ,000. Heather, I got a passenger here who's trying to deliver,
it ain't happening.
Fully dilated?
Yeah, dilated the face and pushing. Is the head presenting?
You know what?
I've done this a couple times before, and it didn't look like this.
Oh, I don't see a head. Mike, it's breech. She'll probably need a C
Just tell her not to push.
Joyce, do not push.
What? I mean it. She cannot deliver this baby. Just get her to a hospital. Where
are you?
I'm headed to graduate. Okay, I'll tell him you're coming.
Joyce, damn it, don't push!
All right, just hang on back there.
Hang on.
Okay, we're good.
We're almost there. It's fine. You're going to be fine, honey.
It's all gonna be fine.
Just so you know, I really
do love him. Yeah.
He's a nice man.
Yeah, with great teeth. Go have a bath.
I swear.
Hold that elevator!
Hold the door!
It's not going to work.
We're stuck.
What? We're having a little mechanical trouble. Shouldn't take long to get you
moving. I got us plummeting ten floors.
You mind?
Sorry.
You notice how people never speak to each other in elevators?
Not so far, no.
They avoid even eye contact.
Intimacy issues.
You want to know my worst nightmare?
This is it.
Claustrophobia.
The heat gets me first.
Not enough air.
And the walls close in.
The ceiling lowers like it's going to crush the life out of me.
I feel like I have no control.
Like I'm in a coffin.
Buried alive.
Ever feel like that?
So no one reported finding a lot of cash?
Uh, hello.
I just got into town and I left something very important in the cab.
No, I'm not sure if it was one of yours. That's why I'm calling.
Well, if I knew his name, I would have told you, right?
Yes, perhaps next time I will check the driver ID by the meter.
The cab was yellow and the driver was white.
My shrink tells me it helps to talk about it out loud.
You give voice to something, it detoxifies it.
Keeps the pressure from building so bad, it blows.
What do you think?
Personally, I don't believe in doing a lot of whining.
You don't look so hot.
Okay, stand back. We're forcing the door.
Everybody all right?
I feel a hell of a lot better.
I guess that was the absolute fastest you could do that, huh?
Bet you they'd call up you up here for the inconvenience.
Is that a Texas accent, Johnny?
Huh?
Johnny from Texas?
Well, yes, sir. Uh -huh, Johnny from Texas.
You just moved down there from New York?
As a matter of fact. You got a girlfriend, Joyce, from Brooklyn?
You're not her father, are you? Because I can explain. I hardly know her. No,
no, no, no, no.
You're about to become a father.
She's having your baby.
Emergency C -section, graduate hospital.
Hi, baby. Yeah, go see Joyce.
I'm not ready for this. No, explain it to the woman and the kid down at
Graduate.
Move your ass.
Hey!
No! Hey, buddy!
Help!
You see a guy come this way?
Yeah. Which way did he go?
I don't know.
Oh, please. This is important.
You're right.
Of course.
I'm sorry.
He went down.
Yeah.
How's it going with the last temptation of Olshansky?
Target sighted. Closing in.
Sir, we changed shifts.
I wasn't here when you arrived. I have no idea where cab company dropped you
off, let alone the driver.
But if the cabbie did find something I left behind, where would it end up?
Possibly the concierge desk.
Whatever this guy's up to, you sure it's legal?
Why are you even asking this?
On these scenarios, the satanic figure comes in many guises.
Satanic figure?
Oh, now you're really reaching.
Maybe what my man here is doing isn't totally by the book, but hey, he's a
little kid.
We bend the rules all the time.
And I know you'd be doing the same thing.
You think I have intimacy issues?
Sure. Help wreck your marriage.
Why? Oh, nothing.
By the way, I get claustrophobic.
I never knew that.
You know what you get when you try to be a stand -up guy?
Huh? Do you?
You get your ass kicked.
No, you deliver a baby, you get trapped in an elevator with a nutcase, run all
over a hotel trying to do right by some guy, and then you get your cab towed.
That's what you get.
You got to ask yourself.
Ask yourself.
Look, I've been doing this for 20 years.
What kind of hell would I be in if I got involved with every sob story that got
in my hack?
It would endanger my longevity.
Think about it.
Okay, that's 1860.
I don't have all day.
Yeah.
Can you change 100?
What do I look like, Chase Manhattan?
1860. It's all I got.
Look, I saw an ATM machine about two blocks back.
Better get extra. Imp out for you. Caught you 112.
Right.
All right.
That is it!
Give me... Come on. You ate my card, huh?
I'll kick you from here to the damn moon.
Where is it? Where's my card?
Damn card.
Give me my card.
Sir,
does that ATM belong to you?
No. Then it's best you set it free.
Sir, step over here.
I'm just... Come here, sir. Step over here.
Let me see some ID, sir.
Oh, God. Look, this has been... This has been a particularly bad night. Some ID?
Okay.
Now, would you turn and face the wall?
Oh, for God's sake. Terry!
It's okay, Terry.
I'm...
Put your hands up against the wall. I know the drill.
I was a cop.
I guess you must be mighty deep undercover.
I didn't say I am a cop. I said I wasn't. Keep your hands against the
Roger that.
Does this belong to you?
No.
I'd like to invite you down to the district for some conversation.
Are you joking?
No, I'm not.
Are you saying you're arresting me?
That's right, sir.
Well, looks like you're free to go.
That's it? Yeah.
Oh, and sorry for the inconvenience.
I wasn't a model cop, but at least I gave lip service to probable cause.
You guys are a real pain in the ass.
You're right.
Thank you. You weren't a model cop.
You ran your ID and your case file came through. You skimmed $4 ,000 off an
inventory of seized cash.
You add that to erratic, violent behavior at the ATM, the fact you had an
envelope full of high -denomination bills in your possession, that you
a composite sketch of a suspect in a case we're working, and that you
look like crap, we think we pretty much did the dance in terms of probable
cause.
I'll bet you were ahead of the class at the academy.
I'll just, um... I'll just assume that this is all here.
You want to give me the holier -than -thou speech, or can I go? I could give
the there -but -for -the -grace -of -God speech, but that's about it.
Stuff happens.
Yeah. I've had nights so bad, I figured I'm entitled to everything that comes my
way. I didn't have a bad night.
I just didn't realize how ragged the line had got between me and them.
You take your eye off the ball, and this job will turn you into a real
interesting human being.
They didn't hire us to be saints.
My old man, sometimes the worst human beings make the best tops.
Yeah, and vice versa.
Who's your old man?
Andy Damiano.
Andy D?
No kidding.
He's a great cop.
Can we give you a lift?
Um, yeah.
Sure, that'd be swell.
So what do you do for a living, now that you're not a... I drive a cab.
You serious?
Keep your eye on the ball.
What do you mean, out of range?
I got a fare. He booked me for the whole night. You know, driving, waiting,
waiting, driving.
Four hours I tried to get you. You get a steady date. You let the office know.
Right. Well, I'm letting you know now.
It's your time, but my business. So don't come back with any less than $200.
Cab is here or Cab is making money.
How much?
$200.
Milk of human kindness.
Tough night?
It can only get better.
2115 responding.
Sorry, Oshansky. We can't take a civilian into the middle of this.
Oh, tell me you're kidding.
You bastard figure I don't know enough to lay low at a robbery? Captain would
have her ass.
Been driving a cab.
Sounds like Heddle.
Hey. Hey.
You want something?
You want something.
Maybe you just want trouble.
You want something.
What, are you selling something?
You buying?
You idiot, I could be a cop.
A cop? You?
I could well be a cop.
Stop it.
Okay, I'll see you.
Hold on, what the hell are you doing down here?
Well, it's none of your business.
My car got towed. Kicked an ATM.
They hauled me down a district, ran a make on me, came up empty, dumped me
Damn cops.
Same thing happened to me last Tuesday. No consideration.
You know, said I looked like some suspect in the sketch.
Well, to be fair, you look a little seedy.
Park your ass in here.
We'll drop you.
This neighborhood could be a little dangerous.
Fake Rolexes. No, man.
Rolex. It's a teeny extra L.
Means we're legit.
I'm not so sure about that.
One strange night.
Ain't it a bitch how fast life goes into the crapper?
Had to tough yourself, I guess.
Tough?
Damn Harvard.
This is Harvard.
The school.
Supposed to give me a full ride.
All my old man had to do was fill out the financial paperwork.
Did he?
I don't think so. Why not?
Because he cheated on his damn taxes.
Way underreported his capital gains.
So, who pays the price?
You're looking at him.
Damn shame.
Damn straight.
You want a full ride to Harvard? You gotta fill out the papers.
Man, you figure it's too late.
Well, I've been in the professional world for some time now. It's kind of
going back.
So you don't go to college and you blame your father?
Guy with Crooked.
What kind of example is that?
But you've forgiven him, right?
Well... Well, I mean, it's not like I've been the best of fathers. Well, you
didn't steal from the government, did you?
Well, no.
That I didn't do.
Isn't it funny how you think things are going to go one way, and then they
don't? The whole night started with the best of intentions.
Was it Robert Burns who said the best laid schemes, mice and men, gang up the
clay?
I'm not sure.
I just need a little more time.
A couple of hours.
No, it is going to happen, and I'll be there with the money before 12.
Of course, I'm sure.
This is too important.
Thanks, I appreciate it. Here.
You ever need any quality Rolexes?
Call me.
Christmas is coming.
What is the matter with you? I really could be a cop.
I love this guy.
Do you love this guy?
Kill me.
Later.
Yeah. You done, Mike?
No. As a matter of fact, I'm still working on it.
Hit a few snags on the road to salvation, huh?
You tell me. I had to deliver a baby.
I didn't count on being picked up by the cops.
Look, Mike, I know that I've been having some fun with you, but enough's enough.
It's no sin to throw in the towel.
Listen to you.
Get behind me.
The Lord forgives you, okay? It's done. You want to throw in some Hail Marys?
Come see me.
You're missing the point.
I want to look my kid in the eye, tell him the money fell in my hands and that
returned it. It doesn't have to be important to you, God, or anyone else.
All right.
But just as a backup, we've got plenty of deserving charities here at St.
Victor's. You could score me some points with the Monsignor.
The next sound you hear is silence.
Excuse me, sir.
Hi. Can I be of any help?
Help with what?
I thought you might be lost.
Oh, I'm sorry. Was I doing anything wrong?
Are you a guest at the hotel?
Are you a security?
I am. Yeah, I get it. You know, I got a day's growth.
My Imani's in the laundry, so you assume that I'm loitering. That's profiling,
miss.
I'm sorry. If that seems to be a problem, I can try to really... The
lady. What?
Yeah.
Yeah, 10th floor, about three and a half hours ago. That was you.
You go with details.
You're still a cop.
Right.
What the hell is it with everybody?
Looks like you're feeling better.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
Listen, I could use some help.
I've been looking for this particular guy all day.
Maybe it'll ring a bell.
Businessman, about this height, kind of an Irish faith, and he might have been
asking about something he lost.
I can't give you any information on hotel guests.
Are you okay?
No, thank you.
You know, when you talk about it, it detoxifies it or something.
Huh?
All right, I know, I know. I shouldn't poke my nose in where it shouldn't be.
Listen, you took away my kid this morning, all right?
Hey? My ex.
Court gave him custody and children's services came to court today.
Goodbye.
Listen, please don't steal anything while it's still my shift.
Okay?
Well, maybe you want to get some coffee or something on your break.
I don't think so.
up so bad.
And it's funny because I never wanted to be a mother.
Yeah. I was terrible at it when he was little.
I was always angry at Corey. I was gone all the time.
Did some stuff I wasn't very proud of.
I've had a few moments myself.
You know, the last few years I really pulled it together and that's what
me off.
Matt does not give a damn about Corey.
He's just doing this to get to me. Well, how did he get custody? He told the
courts that I endangered Corey by leaving him alone at night.
Which is true.
You know, I was working here at night.
But I thought he was old enough. He was ten.
And we lived close. He had my cell number.
It was stupid.
I have a lot of debt to pay off, you know, and I couldn't afford a
You're appealing the custody ruling?
I'm going to, yeah.
There's a little problem with the debt that I was talking about.
A few years back, I posed for some photos.
These would be nude photos.
Yes.
I was nude, and some other guys had posed with me.
Anyway, that was over many years ago.
And the photographer finds out about the custody thing.
So he's offering to sell me the negatives for $10 ,000.
$10 ,000?
Or... Or the photos will end up at the children's services desk.
Which is exactly what I need right now.
How long do you keep paying for mistakes?
A long time, I'm finding out.
Anyway...
I scraped up the $10 ,000, and the jerk calls me, and he says now it'll be $20
,000.
$20 ,000.
Nail him for blackmail. Right.
I really want to have porn photos smeared all over a courtroom.
God.
I need to get back to work.
Thank you, though.
Hang on.
Pay him.
I intend to.
You mean tonight.
What are you doing?
Your 10 plus his 10 makes 20.
Call him before it's 30.
What are you... What?
No, uh... I can't take that. I don't even know you. No, you don't want to
me. It's not all that great.
Forget it.
I'll leave it as a tip.
What are you, nuts?
Whoa. See you.
I promise,
I will pay you back every cent of this.
Don't worry about it.
Get your kid.
Start your life over.
If I could do those things for ten grand, I'd spend it on me.
Look, I traveled a long way to get here. It's obviously very important.
It's not like we haven't been patient.
I understand that. There's just been a little administrative snag with the
money. It'll get here.
I have too many other people with cash in hand waiting to hear from us. One
hour. That's all I'm asking.
I'll check.
I can't guarantee.
Nice to see you again. Screw yourself.
Give me the negatives.
Cash and carry, honey.
For God's sakes, it's all in there.
All four?
Check it out.
You gotta admit, I made you look good.
Go get a disease and die.
Don't look like you put up too much of a fight. That's the beauty of the
cowardly attack from behind.
They rarely do.
We agreed on a grand, right? That's right.
Where do you want them dumped?
Someplace ugly and real far away.
I guess you were right about me not being a cop, eh? Yeah, who knows?
After this, I'm starting to wonder.
Yeah, what's she asking?
Hey, I know it's late. I just was thinking about you.
Heather, I'm a little busy right now.
Look, Mike, God knows I'm all over you when you screw up.
You can at least put up with me when I'm trying to be nice.
I have to admit, you were pretty noble today.
Sorry?
What was that?
I said you were noble.
Oh, thanks for noticing.
What you did for that woman today was...
And I wanted to acknowledge it.
Well, I'm not that bad a guy once you get to know me.
Actually, it's the other way around. It's once you get to know you that...
you know I have claustrophobia?
Yeah.
Well, I never told you.
Never told me much.
Yeah, sorry.
Sorry about not getting Mike.
He'll forgive you.
Later, dude.
You think?
Good night.
Good night, Ellie.
Got the pictures back.
Gave him the money.
Faster got better than he deserved.
Well, at least now you can put it behind you.
Yeah, I hope.
Look, I really don't know how to thank you.
It's okay.
For what you did? No, here's the situation.
You're going to file this appeal.
And you get yourself a lawyer.
They don't work cheap.
I'll figure it out.
Here.
How much is in there? $9 ,000.
I'll get you started.
Absolutely not.
I am not taking another thing from you.
Melissa. No.
What?
Then you just made some waitresses night. No, don't do this to me.
Do you want your son back or not?
You better get serious about it.
I don't know what to say.
Say nothing.
The stink of the money is yours.
But it's not.
Yes, it is.
What are you, an angel or something?
Exactly.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
I don't believe it. You're a tough man to track down. You too.
I'm shocked.
I can't even tell you.
I never expected to see this again.
You're going to put that to good use.
I sure am.
That's what I'm banking on.
Look, I hope this isn't insulting.
But do you think I could give you a couple hundred for your travel?
I have a very high insult threshold.
Could you possibly make it 300?
And 12?
And if there's anything else I can do for you?
Oh, just bring him home to mama, all right?
Good luck.
I just thought I'd spread the word to anyone who doubted.
Mission accomplished.
You have any idea what time it is?
How about a little encouragement, Padre?
Huh? I just helped the guy with the humanitarian mission.
I told you I'd make it.
Hey, I wasn't going to make it.
My daddy was right.
Virtue is its own punishment.
Feel me in.
I've seen a look on this guy's face.
I think he's just about given up.
His face is just lit up.
I was about to give up.
Hello?
You know, for a man of the clock, sometimes you suck.
Mike, how what you did tonight was good?
Yeah, well, okay.
Tell it to God.
Me, he wouldn't believe it.
I think the important thing is that you believe it.
Mike.
Creative.
Come home to mama.
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